James groaned as his baby sister Charlotte began to cry. Four months had passed since James recovered from his flu and a few days ago his mother had given birth. He could remember the day he met his baby sister so clearly, it was as if he was still in that day.
James sat in the waiting room of his father's clinic with Lilith, playing with Sebastian. He had come with his mother Robin and his sister Maru to see if they needed any help with helping Harvey deliver his and Katie's new child. Harvey had asked him to watch the twins and make sure they didn't try to sneak in the room where Katie was giving birth.
Hearing his mother cry out in pain, James looked at Sebastian. "Did she cry like that when she had me and Lilith?"
"According to my mother, yes." Sebastian said. "She was there when you two were born."
"Really?" James' eyes widened.
"She was the one who got to hold you first, James." Sebastian said. "I remember her saying how much you looked like Harvey, but you had Katie's eyes."
James giggled, looking at Lilith. "What'd she say about Lilith?"
"Said she looked like a tiny copy of your mother, only with your father's brown hair." Sebastian replied.
They jerked their heads towards the door leading back to the room when they heard Katie scream, then a baby's first wail.
"The baby!" James exclaimed. "It's here!"
A few minutes later, their father came out, holding a baby in his arms, wrapped in a pink blanket, symbolizing to James that he had another sister.
He sat down in one of the chairs, James and Lilith sitting down on either side of him, peering down at the sleeping baby.
James kept his voice low. "She's so tiny."
"You were as small as she was once." His father smiled. "Isn't she cute?"
"She is." Lilith smiled, touching her little sister's face ever so gently. James smiled. Lilith already loved their sister. But he…
He felt strange towards his new sister. He didn't feel as happy as he thought he'd be.
James looked at his father. "What's her name?"
"Charlotte." His father smiled. "Your mother named her Charlotte."
James heard a tiny yawn and looked down to see Charlotte had woke up. He looked at her uncertainly, as she looked up at him with big green eyes.
He waved at her, and she giggled and began to coo.
Harvey smiled. "I think she likes you, James."
He smiled nervously, still wondering why he felt not love towards his new sister, but hate. Was it because he didn't get a brother like he wanted? Or was something wrong with him?
James was pulled back into the present as Charlotte's crying got louder.
Lilith was at the crib, trying to get her to quiet down. "It's okay Charlotte, it's okay. Please don't cry."
James put the pillow over his head, trying to shut out the cries.
Their mother came in, picking Charlotte up, and tried to shush her.
James groaned as Charlotte's crying got louder and louder.
Charlotte's crying eventually got to be too much for James, and he snapped. "SHUT UP!"
Charlotte only started crying louder, and Katie looked very angry. "James Andrew!"
"What?!" James snapped. "She's keeping me awake!"
"That's no excuse to yell at her, James." Katie said. "She's a baby, she can't help but cry."
"Well, she needs to grow up fast." James grumbled loud enough that Katie heard.
"That's enough!" She screeched, making everything go silent, even Charlotte, who whimpered at her mother's anger. "James Andrew, I don't like this attitude at all, you hear me?!"
James whimpered, now scared.
"You'd better change that attitude very quickly young man or we're going to have serious problems!" Katie said in anger, setting Charlotte back down in the crib. "Do you hear me?!"
James remained silent, choking back tears.
"I said do you hear me?!" She screeched.
James nodded with a whimper.
Lilith looked at her mother worriedly, about to open her mouth to say that she went too far, but Katie continued.
"For that attitude you have, I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen again." She looked angry, and going over to James' shelf, she grabbed his favorite thing in the world…
His teddy bear.
James whimpered. "You aren't going to take Cuddles, are you?"
"I am James. And you will get him back when you can start being nicer." Katie said.
James felt a tear leak out of his right eye. She can't do that! I just can't be nice to Charlotte! I don't know how to!
Katie stormed out, slamming the door behind her.
James curled up in a ball, whimpering, trying not to cry.
Harvey laid in his bed with wide eyes, hearing everything on the baby monitor and through the walls. He was shocked at what his wife had said and done. James was still a child, and she couldn't be so mean to him. And she couldn't take his teddy bear like that. James loved that thing way too much. To take it would be so cruel.
He heard her stomp into the room, he watched as she set James' bear in the closet, and laid down on the bed, growling.
Harvey looked at her sadly. "I think you may have been too harsh, love."
"Well, he shouldn't have had such a bad attitude." Katie huffed.
"Still, I think you may have been a bit…." Harvey searched for a word. "Cruel."
Katie sighed. "I was just so upset…he yelled at her..."
They could hear Lilith on the monitor. "It's alright James…..I'm here for you."
"She doesn't care anymore…" James whimpered, making Katie wince.
"She does, James, she was just angry because you were being mean to Charlotte." Lilith said.
"Does she?" James whimpered. "Cause I don't believe you."
Lilith must have nodded, cause James spoke again.
"I still don't believe you, Lilith." James whimpered. "And I don't think I'll ever get Cuddles back."
"Why? All you have to do is be nicer to Charlotte." Lilith said.
"Which I can't do." James said sadly. "I don't feel any love towards her like I do you or our parents."
Harvey and Katie looked at each other with wide eyes. James didn't love his baby sister?
"But why?"
"When Mum told us she was having a baby, I thought the baby and I would love each other as soon as we saw each other….But when I saw her for the first time, I felt nothing. No love. Sure, Charlotte probably loves me, but I don't love her."
Lilith was silent, then spoke. "I don't know what to say about that."
"Exactly. Something is wrong with me. I'm supposed to love Charlotte, not hate her!" James wailed.
Harvey got up. "I should go talk to him."
"Go ahead, I won't stop you." Katie sighed, seeming sad and gloomy all of a sudden.
Harvey looked at her for a second, then walked out, heading into the nursery. He opened the door a bit to see Lilith sitting beside James on his bed, James' face buried in his sister's shoulder, silent tears leaking from his eyes down his cheeks. Harvey suddenly felt his heart aching with sadness.
"Hey, why are you two still up?" He asked softly, walking in.
James sniffled, "We're having a moment."
Harvey smiled a little. "What kind of moment, little one?"
"A 'James is stupid and needs to get over himself' moment." He sniffled.
"Hey, you're not stupid." Lilith said.
"Yeah? How many times have I gotten in trouble?"
"Several?" Lilith said meekly.
"Exactly." James sniffled. "I think it's better if I hadn't existed!"
Harvey's eyes blazed. "Don't you dare say that!" He cried.
James looked at his father.
"Look, you may not love Charlotte, but you can still try and be nice to her." He said. "That doesn't mean you need to beat yourself up about it."
James looked at his feet. "But I can't be. I don't even love her."
"Why do you think that is?" Harvey asked.
"I think it's because I didn't get a brother, but that just seems too selfish." James said.
Harvey sat down beside him. "I used to have a sister that hated me."
James looked up at his father. "Really? What happened to her?"
Harvey's eyes were dark. "She died from hitting her head too hard."
James snuggled up to his father. "I'm sorry, Daddy."
"It's alright." Harvey smiled. "But, the reason she hated me was that she felt like she wouldn't get as much attention as she always had, which happened."
James sighed. "You think that's why I hate Charlotte?"
"Possibly." Harvey said.
James snuggled up to Harvey more. "I hope I can love her one day."
"Me too, James." Harvey smiled.
Charlotte began to coo.
James looked over at her. "Can you forgive me for yelling at you?"
Charlotte giggled.
James sighed. "I guess that's a yes."
Harvey smiled, and hugged his son.
James looked at his father. "Is Mummy still mad at me?" he asked.
"I don't know, she seemed pretty upset that she yelled at you." Harvey sighed.
"Do you think she's sad that she had to yell at me?" James asked.
Harvey nodded.
"I should go apologize." James hopped down off the bed, running off to his parent's room, seeing his mother lying in bed, not facing him.
James approached the bed. "Mummy?"
Katie sniffled.
"I-I'm sorry for what I did." He whimpered. "I was just…I don't know, I guess I'm jealous of all the attention she gets…"
Katie didn't respond to his apology.
"Mummy?" James asked. "You okay?"
"Go away, James…" She sniffled.
"Mummy, don't cry." James whimpered. "Please."
"Just go away!" Katie cried. "I don't want to yell at you again!"
James whimpered and sniffled. "O-Okay…I-I'll go away."
Katie stiffened. She was only making it worse.
James walked out, crying.
Katie started crying into her pillow, screaming into it too. "I'm a terrible mother! I can't even accept my son's apology!"
Harvey soon came back in, eyes dark, but they softened as he saw his wife crying.
"Love, what's wrong now?"
"I made him cry again! I'm a horrible mother!" She sobbed.
"That's not true!" Harvey said. "You're a wonderful mother. You loved our babies the moment they were born. How is that being a horrible mother?!"
Katie went silent.
Harvey sighed, laying down in the bed beside her, seeing her tear-stained face, making his heart ache with pity.
"Why did I have to be so mean to James?" She whimpered.
"I don't know, my love." He sighed, kissing her. "But just know that our babies will love you through all their pains and sorrows."
"I hope you're right Harvey." Katie sighed. "I hope you're right."
