A/N: Wow, chapter 50! A super fluffy chapter that will lend itself to a couple upcoming chapters in my coordinating fic, Vancouver. I hope you all enjoy! This turned out a long longer than I thought it would!

HERS

A noise awoke Shepard that wasn't Eli's crying. Finally get a few hours shuteye, then this…She sat up confused as she tried to rub the sleep from her eyes and get the fog out of her head. "Kaidan, I heard something."

A beeping noise sounded again. Omni-tool. "Kaidan, your tool is beeping," she pushed him.

"Ok, ok…I'm up," he yawned, reaching for his tool. As he opened it, Joker's face appeared on the screen.

"Hey, Alenkos…or Shepards…or, well, what should I call you? Oh, and Kaidan…I guess Shep was right, you do look great without a shirt!" the pilot winked cheekily.

Kaidan snorted and Shepard leaned over his shoulder nearly shouting. "Joker! Holy shit, it's good to see you! Where the hell are you?"

Joker turned slightly to his side as he looked at some monitors. "Well, if my sensors are correct, and the windows say they are, we'll be landing in Vancouver in about 30."

Shepard leaped out of bed and started getting dressed. "Move your ass, Alenko!"

Kaidan looked at Joker, who was still laughing at Kaidan's expense. "I guess we'll meet you at the spaceport."

"You always were whipped, Alenko…admit it," Joker chuckled.

"Ha ha, Joker. Living up to the name. We'll see ya in a few," said Kaidan as he closed his tool.

Shepard was already dressed and gathering things for the diaper bag. "Come on, Kaidan! Everyone's going to be there! They'll get to meet Eli and I…oh my God, I'm just so damn happy!"

Kaidan sat up, a smile on his own face, rubbing his eyes. "I'm just amazed. I wonder what all they've gone through. It's been months."

Shepard moved in front of Kaidan, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Let's hurry up and find out." She tiptoed away to gather the sleeping baby.

When they arrived at the spaceport, a crowd had gathered despite the late hour. News crews stood by to get a glimpse of the Normandy's crew and commander. "I didn't think it would be a circus like this," grumbled Shepard as they sat in the skycar. "Eli's still sleeping, thank God. I wanted to carry him on board without waking him if we could."

Kaidan sighed loudly and scratched his head. "We'd done a great job of being incognito here on Earth until now. All that hospital time kept us away from the prying eyes of the press. Can't say that's not in large part due to the Alliance guards they kept around. The media probably doesn't even know that you had a baby."

Shit. "We should have called your mom to babysit. Saved Eli this hassle."

"You're the one who jumped out of bed and told me to 'move my ass.'"

Shepard mock-laughed at Kaidan. "So blame me for wanting to see the best part of you…"

Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, Kaidan opened the skycar doors. "Do you want to hold Eli or should I take him through the gauntlet?"

"I want to keep as low a profile as possible, so I'll get through there as fast as I can with him. You can handle the press. You've already been back to work. I'm still on my leave," she winked as she scooped up the infant and wrapped him snugly in a blanket.

"I love you too…," Kaidan said sarcastically.

She took a deep breath and trudged forward to the mass of people at the docking bay. Damn people, like you've never seen an Alliance ship before.

"Look! It's Commander Shepard!" an alert news reporter chirped. All eyes fell on her then to the bundle in her arms. A quick hush fell over the crowd. Oh God…help. Facing a Reaper alone…cake. Reporters… She felt a warm hand on the small of her back. "Come on, Rachel. Just walk ahead," Kaidan's husky voice whispered.

As they took their first step together, the crowd maintained a reverent silence. This is straight-up unnerving. "I thought we were going to be ambushed with questions," Shepard said in a low voice.

"They see you holding a baby…haven't you ever heard the ancient saying, 'Never wake a sleeping baby?' It looks like some things are still sacred," Kaidan said, looking straight ahead at the Normandy's open door. As they walked into the decon bay, the door closed behind them. EDI's voice did not greet us as it had before. The airlock door opened into the CIC, and a crowd of familiar faces were waiting on the other side.

Liara's eyes were moist with unshed tears and her smile was bright. "Welcome home, Shepard, Kaidan," she said gently. "I thought we'd never see you again," said Tali, her voice quivering with emotion. Chakwas' face held a tight smile, as she fought back her own tears. "You make lovely parents, Commander…and Major, of course."

"Ok, ok, enough with the sap, you guys are giving my poor hollow bones cavities!" moaned Joker, as he hobbled to the pair. "Let's see what you two have cursed the Earth with." He leaned slightly as Shepard moved the blanket away from Eli's face. Tali squealed and grabbed Garrus' hand. "So. Adorable! Doesn't it make you want to have one?" Garrus' mandibles flared wide, and he cleared his throat.

"It's not so bad, Garrus," Kaidan joked. "Once you get past the gag reflex."

"I'll keep that in mind," said the turian dryly.

"Can I hold…?" Liara stopped short.

"Him," finished Shepard, handing the baby over to the asari. "Absolutely, his name is Elijah…we call him Eli."

"His hair is…amazing!" Samantha Traynor said as she approached. "There's so much of it. Dark and curly and thick…I just want to touch it!" Shepard shot a sly look at Kaidan, who had moved away to the male part of the group. That's exactly what I think when I see you.

HIS

Kaidan tried to comfort Garrus as they both watched Tali develop a serious case of baby fever. Every few seconds there was a new squeal or squeak from the quarian and she would turn to look at Garrus. Even though her facial features couldn't be seen through her mask, both men could tell she was smiling as big as she ever had.

"When we were on Tuchanka, I thought we were going to end up with a baby krogan on board, and I don't mean Grunt," said Garrus. "I've never seen a woman so damned determined to love every one of those ugly things."

Kaidan chuckled. "I thought turians weren't so superficial. Not like us humans."

"We have to have some standards, even me. Although I guess, I should thank Tali for sticking close. I had more than a fair share of now highly fertile, and by fertile I mean horny, krogan women vying for my affections. Spirits know that would be one hell of an ugly child," Garrus said jokingly.

"Do you not want to have kids?" Kaidan asked.

"Well, you know, I never really thought about it. Turian culture is so militaristic that procreation is just part of your duty, so I guess I thought it would happen, well, before the Reapers. Now, that they're gone…I guess I have time to think."

"Just don't follow our plan," smiled Kaidan. "Apparently birth control doesn't always work with biotics."

"So that's what happened," Garrus laughed. "I'm glad it was you and not me."

Kaidan raised his eyebrow. "So that whole thing…works? Quarians and turians?"

Garrus mandibles went wide in an apparent smirk. "Like it was meant to be."

"Hey there, ladies…you sound like two hens clucking," Joker gibed as he moved toward the men. "Please talk about something masculine, or I swear I'm going to start PMSing on you right here."

"Sex isn't manly enough for you?" Kaidan teased.

"Hell yes, sex is manly, but you two are talking baby-making. Two totally different concepts."

"I guess we aren't the bachelors we once were, eh, Kaidan?" said Garrus.

"I don't know what kind of bachelor you were, but I never wanted anything more than this." Kaidan gazed at his wife as she and the other women doted over the baby. "But yeah, you know, now that I think about it…I kind of sprung the whole wedding thing. Never had a proper bachelor party. Joker, how about it? Would that be more up your masculine alley?"

"Kaidan, don't ever use those two words together with me again," Joker snickered. "You let me plan this thing and I swear it will be the most badass bachelor party ever."

"I thought I heard something about a bachelor party," James Vega said as he strolled up. "Will there be strippers? Because I'm in."

Joker held his hand up. "Ah-ah-ah. I will not divulge my secrets. Just be ready for a good time, Vega."

"Sure enough, Hef," grinned Vega. "Scars, is this bad boy for you? You and Sparks making it official?"

"Uh, no. That would be the human to my left."

"Bueno! Can't wait to see you let your hair down, El Guapo," said Vega as he slapped Kaidan on the back.

Kaidan gave the lieutenant a confused look. "El What-o? And what did you call Joker?"

Vega let out a barking laugh. "El Guapo…it means handsome." Vega winked. "I mean just look at that pretty face. It won Lola over. And Hef, I mean, Joker? Have you seen his porn collection? You've heard of Hugh Hefner, right? Trailblazer in getting pretty women to show it off." Vega put his hand over his heart in a solemn salute.

"I, uh, never had much to do with porn." Kaidan scratched his neck, slightly embarrassed. "Definitely didn't study its history."

The conversation halted suddenly as a baby's cry rose through the deck. Kaidan's eyes diverted quickly from Vega to the group of women. "Sorry, Lieutenant, it looks like I'm needed."

"Ok, Papito," Vega joked. Kaidan threw his hand dismissively at the bulky soldier. When he came up behind Shepard, Eli was red-faced from crying.

"Here you go, Daddy," she said simply as she handed the squalling infant. She leaned in close to Kaidan's ear. "I didn't forget how you bailed on me with that diaper." Well played, you little minx. He gave a half-hearted smile as he watched her walk away with Liara and Tali who were recounting their voyage back to Earth.

Kaidan turned back to the male contingent, and was greeted with raised hands by Joker and Garrus. "I don't do babies, especially crying ones. They hate me," deadpanned Garrus.

"If that kid is a biotic, he might break my arm. I can't afford that right now," said Joker as he backed away.

"We don't even know if he is a biotic."

Joker had already made it halfway down the deck. "Can't take any chances. See ya." Never saw him move that fast for anything. Ever.

Kaidan looked at Vega, who had a smug grin on his face. "What's so amusing?" the biotic said.

"Ah, nothin', Papito. The dad thing…it looks good on you."

"Oh…well, thanks."

"Sure thing, old man." Vega chuckled and walked away.

In the meantime, Kaidan had been bouncing the boy in an attempt to calm him to no avail. Ok, buddy, time to quiet down. It is still the middle of the night. "Hey Eli, tell Daddy what you need," he said quietly, walking into the cockpit. "See this seat over here? This, well, sort of like this, was where Daddy used to work."

Eli opened his eyes wide and blinked, finally ceasing to cry. Kaidan sat down at the co-pilot's seat, pulling up the terminal. "Now, look, all you have to do if you want to get everything set for FTL flight is pull up this screen here." The baby was now waving his arms in apparent interest. "Maybe you want to be a tech just like Daddy?"

"Or Mommy," said a voice from behind them. Kaidan looked back to see the shining green eyes of his wife. "You finally got him to stop crying. He didn't want anything to do with me, surprisingly," Shepard said as she walked up beside them, placing her hands on Kaidan's shoulders.

"I hoped maybe the moving pictures on the screen would distract him from crying." Kaidan smiled at the little baby he was supporting in his lap. "Strange, we've been gone for so long, and things are so different…"

"And the Normandy still feels like home," she agreed.

"You know…I never thought about this, but maybe being a spacer kid isn't such a bad idea." Kaidan looked up at Shepard, whose face broke into a huge smile.

"It sounds like we've got some arrangements to make."

A throat cleared. Joker plopped himself into his usual seat. "Um, before you two go off again into the galaxy and kick ass…don't forget your bachelor party."

"Bachelor party?" Shepard's eyebrow raised. "Will there be strippers?" Joker, you dumbass.

"I, uh…this is all on Joker," Kaidan dodged.

"I bet it is. Ok, boys, you have your fun, but this means I'm getting the girls together to have mine. I should go…I have some naughty plans to make," she smirked and walked away.

"Feels like home, doesn't it?" said Joker.

"That it does," Kaidan said. "That it does."