Let's see if I can start cleaning up this mess... Enjoy!

73 - Scribbled Note

Alex's PoV

The pounding in my head wasn't the first thing I noticed when I woke up. No, the left side of the bed being empty was. The bedside clock's bold green letters blinked hauntingly back at me; 6:09am.

Tracey wasn't in bed with me and the whole house sounded eerily quiet. I sat up and my heart pounded hard in my chest when I noticed the closet door wide open and Tracey's clothes gone completely. The dresser drawers were slightly open; making it known that nothing of hers was left there either.

I ran quickly to the bathroom only to find all of stuff gone as well. Pulling on an oversized t-shirt, I made my way downstairs.

Everything that didn't seem so real the night before, became a crashing reality right in front of my eyes. On the counter by the coffee pot was a silver diamond engagement ring, two sets of keys; one for the house and one for the jeep, and a short scribbled note.

Wish it didn't have to end this way. Find yourself and be happy.

- Trace

Did I deserve to cry? I had everything, didn't I? A nice house, a loving fiancée, friends and family. My sister was talking to me again and I gained my surrogate niece back.

I messed it all up in the first place. It wasn't just about the lying to Spencer and Ashley; that was just the tip of it all.

I was so lost in myself. I didn't even think before I acted or spoke. I didn't care how I would go about things just as long as it didn't affect me. I didn't stop to realize that in the process of protecting myself, I was hurting those who meant the world to me.

Tracey and Sammy were a big part of that. Ashley was a part of that and Spencer got it the worst because we were blood.

Family.

I watched how things were so torn up between Ashley and Aiden when Spencer was first involved. I swore I'd never let that happen and yet, I did and I was barely aware of it. If I was, I just didn't care enough to notice.

Tracey was perfect. She wasn't afraid to tell me where to go if I was pissing her off. She wasn't afraid to hurt my feelings and that was why it broke my heart even more when she was so heartbroken the night before.

She could've been meaner and proved a harsher point. She could've just left and never came back and be completely validated. Yet, she let it all out gently and cried and then took me to bed as if I were the one heartbroken.

I threw the spare keys across the room and fell down to my knees, crying. So maybe I didn't deserve to cry – but the tears weren't for me.

Tracey was the best part of my recent life and I screwed it up. I let her get away and I knew there was nothing I could do about it.

I had to let her go because in the end, Tracey was a really beautiful woman who deserved more than playing a key to the happiness in my life. Just because I couldn't have who I wanted, it didn't mean that she had to take second place.

She needed more. She wanted more and I wanted her to have it.

I knew it'd hit me a lot harder once the day wore on. I was still in shock, I barely remembered showering and driving over to my parents' place. It wasn't even seven in the morning yet and I heard hushed voices coming from the kitchen.

"Hey Alex," Spencer greeted me quietly with a smile, her hand laced with Ashley's as they sat at the kitchen table.

"Hey." I gave a small smile back and grabbed myself a cup of coffee before joining them.

"You missed the best part of last night," Ashley grinned, "Spencer sang karaoke."

"I was bribed." Spencer rolled her eyes. "Lucas promised to do dishes for the next month."

"You have a dishwasher." I replied, slightly amused.

"Now I have a human one and I'll save on my electricity bill. Plus Lucas will be doing her part in conserving." Spencer looked smug.

"You do realize that once she unleashes those Carlin puppy eyes, you'll let her off the hook right?" Ashley smirked.

I sat back and watched as they exchanged soft glances and light touches while talking. It was like second nature to them, I bet they didn't even realize they did it.

I knew I wanted that.

"So where's your beautiful lady?" Ashley glanced over at me after taking a sip of her coffee.

I felt my heart speed up and then I was a little light headed. "Uh, she left already," my voice cracked.

Spencer tilted her head and frowned. "I thought we were throwing a big brunch since we're heading back tomorrow?"

"Well she had to go." I cleared my throat, willing any unwanted tears away.

"I'm sorry. I would've liked to say bye again." Ashley sighed a little with a pout.

"She's not coming back." I whispered, some part of me hoping that they never caught that.

"What?" I heard them both ask tentatively. I didn't dare look up and I knew I should've. I should feel ashamed.

"Trace is gone." I bit the inside of my cheek. "She broke things off last night and she left her keys and ring on the counter when she left this morning."

I didn't think they needed to know the tidbit of our break-up sex.

"Oh my God Alex," Spencer whispered, her hand briefly touching mine, "I'm so sorry."

I tugged at my ear nervously. "Don't be. Anyone probably saw it coming." I glanced up at them to see their eyes confirming it for me. "Anyone but me."

"Maybe things will work themselves out." Ashley spoke softly. "Things are known to happen," she smiled a little towards Spencer.

"Well as Tracey so epically pointed out to me last night, we'll never have our Spashley ever after." I got up from the table and put my empty cup in the sink. "I'm going to see if anyone else is up."

"Well hey," Spencer got up and grabbed my arm, "for what it's worth Alex, I do see some improvements with you. I know it can't be easy losing someone you spent the better part of your life with, but you'll find yourself again and then live to make someone else happy."

"Thanks." I offered back quietly.

"Spencer and Carmen are rallying up some hockey players tonight. We're heading to the rink down at the park for a game, why don't you join us and the girls on the side lines?" Ashley smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Just like old times."

I thought about it for a second and didn't want to be seen moping around on my own. I also didn't want to brush off the break up so coolly either – I was going to miss Tracey so much. Despite what anyone thought.

"Okay." I nodded. "Sounds like fun."

--

Spencer's PoV

"So tell me the details!" Kyla shrieked, grabbing my left hand for the bazillionth time, ogling over my new engagement ring. It wasn't shining as bright as it could be but we were in the old arcade before heading to the rink.

"Well," I smirked and watched Ashley walk by the arcade games with a tray of fresh pizza and heading towards us, "there were a million candles all over the pond."

"Aww!" Kyla sighed happily.

"I wouldn't say a million," Ashley sat down, catching the last part of our conversation, "a lot of dozens maybe."

"Must've been a bitch to clean up." Kyla laughed, finally letting go of my hand.

"Which is why I paid the boys off." Ashley threw her a wink. "Aiden couldn't say no but Glen was a little whinier in that department. I had to throw in my car keys for when he visits, saying he gets to have my mustang for a day."

"And you agreed?" I raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you insane?"

"What?" Ashley gave me a cute shrug, "he's cool Spence. I like the guy. It's like I have two older brothers now. Glen's a push over just like you."

"I'm not a push over!" I protested. "I mean if you wanna get down and dirty, sure, by all means push away."

Kyla snickered and picked up a slice of pizza. "You can be sometimes Spence; not all the time, but sometimes - especially with your daughters."

"Mom," Dylan approached me shyly, her brown eyes shimmering with life, "would it be okay if Lucas and I go play air hockey after we eat?"

I felt Ashley squeeze my knee under the table and we exchanged smiles. "Only if you promise to kick her butt," I winked back at Dylan and she grinned, nodding.

"You're encouraging sibling rivalry." Ashley noted playfully.

"Oh please, we haven't even begun unravelling that part yet." I rolled my eyes.

"Alex and Spencer were just like those two at that age." Kyla told Ashley.

"And then what happened?" My brunette raised an eyebrow.

"Spencer sprouted boobs." Kyla chuckled and sipped her Pepsi. "She started getting noticed and well, bye bye Alex."

Ashley nodded her head slowly before turning her head towards our daughters. They were sharing a booth with Anton, Hannah and Cailyn. "How old were you when all of that happened?"

I watched her shift nervously and it made me smile. "Baby, Lucas and Dylan are different. They're not going to be at each other's throats, trust me. Besides, the thing that separated Alex and I was that we shared nothing in common to bond over."

"She had me." Kyla nodded. "Only I think when we bonded over certain cute boys, she was really imagining one of their sisters or something."

"Hey!" I laughed with her and Ashley.

"How is Alex, anyway?" Kyla asked after the laughter died down.

"I don't know." I shrugged a little. "She went home before anyone could ask her any questions. I don't think Sammy knows."

"Tracey did the right thing." My best friend said softly. "Why put yourself through all of that when you know you're not the one they think about?"

"I have to agree." Ashley nodded. "It took a lot of guts."

"And it took a lot of guts for Alex to let her walk away. If she wanted things so simple in her life she could've begged her to stay, don't you think?" I asked quietly. "Instead, I think she knew it'd be wrong and allowed it all to happen."

"It shouldn't have happened to begin with." Alex came up behind our table. She smiled at our shocked faces. "It's okay, I know it's bound to be talked about."

My sister did look a little worn out and upset but her attire and façade was trying to say otherwise. "Did you want some pizza?"

"I ate already." She smiled warmly but joined us anyway. "Did I miss anything good?"

"Um, not really." Ashley shrugged. "Kyla told me about how when Spencer sprouted boobs, you were kicked to the curb."

"Oh yes." Alex nodded and squinted her eyes at me. "Heaven forbid little sis ruin the twelve year olds plans to buy training bras."

"Whatever." I snorted.

It kinda felt good to laugh again but the moment was bittersweet. Alex had to be feeling some sort of pain but I'd let her come to me and talk if wanted too. I wasn't about to pry.

"Hey losers," Carmen swayed up to the both with Sammy at her side, "ready to watch me take Spencer's lead as rink queen?"

Everyone at the table rolled their eyes and laughed. "You can try uber butch, but you'll never win. My bummed knee is not going to stop me."

"Your ego can't even stop you." Carmen muttered and I smirked at her sulking.

"Finally got the message." I teased.

"You suck Carlin." She stuck her tongue and hopped over to the kids both and slid in.

Ashley leaned in and I felt her breath on my ear, "you do suck Carlin," she whispered, "but by the sounds I make when you do, I'm sure you're aware I don't mind."

Holy fuck. Screw the game.

I wanted that suite back.

A bedroom.

A bed.

A carpeted floor.

A shower stall!

"Down girl." She smirked because she knew she had me squirming in my seat.

--

Next time in Points Underneath:

"What's wrong?"

"You think if there was something wrong, I'd tell you?" I asked, maybe a little too harshly.

Carmen held up her hands with a frown and backed up. "Sorry for caring." She was about to turn around and I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Carm," I said her name softer that time, "I'm sorry. I've just had a bad couple of days."