A/N: on to the second item on the list: cooking. I have taken Trishata96's feedback as a suggestion and this chapter thus has an explosion in it. It was actually pretty difficult to write. I hope you enjoy it!


Miranda was feeling a bit apprehensive when she got up to leave her office. When she had been doing research on the person that was Shepard, during the time Cerberus was rebuilding the Commander, she had stumbled upon an interview in which Shepard had admitted to being a horrible cook. That's why Miranda couldn't begin to fathom why the Commander would think that inviting her to a home-cooked dinner would be the most romantic thing ever. How could a foul taste in your mouth make you feel the romance? Even though she could not understand, she had given Shepard a chance to prove herself in the kitchen. After all, the Commander herself had never actually told Miranda that she was a bad cook, so technically Miranda couldn't refuse. But that didn't stop her from feeling a bit anxious. For one, she was still undecided as to what to do if the dinner turned out to taste horribly. Should she pretend it was good or should she just tell Shepard that cooking might not be her cup of tea?

Rounding the corner to the small kitchen, Miranda saw Shepard crouched in a squat, rummaging through the lower cupboards. Her girlfriend was wearing loose-fitting army green BDU pants and her favorite N7 hoodie. The Commander still blatantly refused to wear anything that had the Cerberus logo on it and had actually suggested Miranda cut out the Cerberus logo on her catsuit. She had then proceeded to make a joke about how it couldn't hurt if Miranda would show some more skin. That had of course earned her a smack on the head. It hadn't stopped Shepard from carrying a pair of scissors around afterwards to snap them at Miranda from time to time during off-duty hours, however.

Seeing Shepard make such an effort to cook something for her made the Cerberus officer feel unfamiliarly warm inside. Shepard might be extremely ruthless on missions and she might also behave like a complete ass at times, but she always tried to make Miranda feel important. That was one of the things Miranda loved so much about Shepard. The Commander would go to great lengths to let her know that she cared, and everyone knew she would damn well die before letting anything happen to her raven-haired girl.

When Shepard noticed Miranda approaching the kitchen, she flashed the operative a lopsided grin. Miranda shook her head, though secretly she was smiling. The Commander looked adorable when she pulled that face and the redhead knew it.

"So you decided to finally show up, hm, Lawson?" Shepard teased. She pulled a large pan out of one of the cupboards and set it on the stove. She then placed some flour and salt on the kitchen counter.

"What are you cooking, Jodi?" Miranda asked, looking at Shepard's supplies. Shepard didn't answer and walked over to the fridge. She took out some eggs, milk and butter and placed the ingredients beside the salt and flour.

"Guess."

Miranda frowned. She really couldn't tell and that annoyed her. She was used to knowing almost everything. But things like these eluded her. Miranda had never cooked in her life, because she didn't have to. When she was still living with her father, which was by no means a nice memory, he had someone cook for them. After her escape she had lived off scraps and anything she could afford to buy, but that didn't last long. Ever since Cerberus took her in she had been catered to. And she liked it that way. Why waste her energy on things other people could do for her?

"I don't know, Shepard. Just tell me," Miranda replied, annoyed. Shepard looked up from the counter and frowned at Miranda.

"I'm making pancakes! Everyone would know just by looking at this stuff!" Shepard fell silent for a second, frowning. "Does that mean you've never had pancakes before?" she asked.

Miranda shook her head. "No, Shepard. In case you've forgotten, my life so far wasn't filled with pink clouds, puppies and ponies. My father never let me eat anything that I might find remotely enjoyable, so no."

The Commander hit herself on the head for being such a fool and walked over to Miranda, pulling her into an embrace. "I'm sorry, Miri. Let's make you enjoy your food for once then!" Shepard planted a kiss on top of Miranda's head and then walked back to the kitchen. She rummaged in a cupboard some more and finally pulled out a whisk and a bowl. She then started mixing the ingredients for the pancakes. Miranda stood watching her lover for a while and then walked over to the kitchen. Leaning against the counter, she continued to observe the visibly excited redhead.

"So, pancakes, huh. Is that the most romantic food you can think of?" Her voice unintentionally sounded a bit too harsh.

Shepard gave a start and accidentally knocked over the flour, sending a cloud of dust reeling through the air. When the flour settled, Shepard's face and hair were white. She grunted, but pretended nothing had ever happened when she noticed the mirth in Miranda's eyes. She licked her lips and shot Miranda a challenging look.

"Oh, we're back to criticizing I see. As a matter of fact, yes it is. I love pancakes and I love you. Love plus love equals more love. It's simple maths, Miranda. I'm surprised you didn't catch that," Shepard replied with an impish grin.

For once, Miranda didn't fight the urge to laugh and let her melodious laughter fill the mess hall. Shepard looked at her and smiled warmly.

"Don't get too comfortable or I might pull out my scissors again," she teased, receiving a dangerous look in return.

"Aren't you going to clean yourself, Jodi?" the Cerberus operative asked after a while.

"Nope!" came Shepard's simple answer. "This is part of making pancakes!"

After having made the pancake batter, the Commander took the bowl to the stove and tried to heat the pan. Nothing happened. Frowning, Shepard checked the stove and discovered to her great disappointment that the thing was broken. Apparently deciding that applying brute force would be the best way to get the machine working again, she kicked it with her right foot. Save a loud thunk, nothing happened.

"Damn it! Why doesn't this thing work?" Shepard shouted irritably. Miranda crossed her arms and watched the spectacle unfold with an amused smile gracing her perfect face.

Shepard gave the stove another kick and then stormed out of the kitchen towards the main battery room. "GARRUS! Get your ass over here and do some useful calibrations for a change!"

A minute later, a confused turian walked into the kitchen, mandibles twitching in anticipation. He took one look at Shepard, still covered in flour, and stifled a chuckle. "What seems to be the problem, Shepard?" Garrus chimed.

"THE STOVE ISN'T WORKING."

Garrus somehow managed to frown as he looked at the Commander. "And why do you think I can fix that, Shepard?" he asked. His voice now clearly had amusement in it and it only caused the redhead to become more and more enraged at the whole situation.

"BECAUSE YOU CALIBRATE EVERYTHING."

Garrus let out a 'hmpf' and shrugged. "Can't see how something like this could be calibrated. I'm sorry, Shepard, but I can't help you. I'm not your kitchen turian. I'm your big badass gun-calibrating turian. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go do my job." With that, he turned around and walked, no, sauntered, away. Shepard's eyes went wide with surprise.

"Your borderline insubordination should grant you a one-way trip out of the airlock, Scars! You're lucky I don't do things like that in front of a lady," Shepard growled, though sounding a bit amused herself now.

"Whatever, Cerberus," Garrus replied before disappearing into the main battery room.

Miranda remained silent through the whole exchange, still not used to the way in which Shepard and Garrus 'communicated' with each other. She studied the Commander's face and concluded that nothing bad had actually happened between the human and the turian. She couldn't understand why Shepard allowed her crew to talk to her in such a way, but it was Jodi's call. Her attempts to correct Shepard in this matter had always resulted in a stubborn rebuke from the redhead, so she had stopped commenting on it.

"What are you going to do now, Jodi?" Miranda asked innocently. She secretly hoped Shepard would now be unable to cook dinner. It was a convenient way to solve her earlier issue concerning whether or not to tell Shepard the food was disgusting.

Shepard looked at Miranda thoughtfully. Suddenly, the Commander's face changed into a look that Miranda had learned to identify as 'an idea'. Within this context she quickly decided this idea would probably be a bad one.

"I've got an idea," Shepard announced. Miranda sighed. Immediately, a blue glow surrounded the Commander.

"What are you doing, Shepard?" Miranda asked while taking a step back. She didn't like where this was going.

"I'm going to heat the pan with my biotics!" Shepard exclaimed as if she had just thought of something brilliant. She focused her emerald eyes on the pan on the stove. The blue glow surrounding her increased in strength.

"How?!"

Shepard chose not to answer and sent shockwaves at the stove instead. When the first wave hit the stove, a blow sent Miranda flying backwards, forcefully slamming her back into the wall of the med bay. The stove exploded with a huge blast, hurtling the pan across the third deck. An enormous cloud of flour created a temporary haze over the kitchen. Shepard had disappeared somewhere inside the haze.

The doors to the main battery room and the med bay opened at once and Garrus and Dr. Chakwas practically ran out to see what had happened. Both came to a halt at Miranda's side, pulling the woman to her feet. Chakwas tried to check whether Miranda had sustained any wounds but the operative wouldn't let her. Instead, she stumbled toward the direction of the fog, looking for the Commander.

"Jodi? Where are you? Are you okay?" Miranda almost lost her footing when she heard the panic in her own voice.

After a moment she heard a movement and out came Shepard. Her face was a mixture of white and blackened flour, she had cuts and bruises all over her arms and her hair looked worse than Einstein's. She looked like a monster. A grinning monster. Shepard walked over to Miranda to inspect her lover for injuries. Finding none, she scratched the back of her head with her left hand and looked apologetic.

"I guess that wasn't such a good idea."

"Commander. Please alert me the next time you think biotics will help you heat a pan. If you would have voiced your intentions, I would have advised against it. As it is now, we will have to dock somewhere to repair the damage. This will effectively delay our next mission for several weeks," EDI's voice chirped through the comms. Apparently Joker was making a comment to EDI, for his voice could be heard somewhere in the background. After a moment of silence, EDI added "and Mr. Moreau asked me to tell you that you are a horrible cook, Commander."

Miranda had been too stunned by what she was seeing to react until now, but she recovered and glared at Shepard.

"You fool! How on earth could you think that sending shockwaves at a stove would be a good idea?! I can't believe I'm involved with someone who manages to blow up a stove when she tries to cook something!" Tears of fear and disbelief welled up in Miranda's eyes and she lunged forward to grab Shepard. The redhead just smirked and stroked Miranda's hair.

"And yet here you are, in my arms. I might try to cook for you more often if that makes you cling to me so," Shepard teased. She braced herself for the upcoming smack to her head but it never came. Instead, Miranda lifted her head and kissed the Commander, baffling the both of them.

Behind the pair, a bewildered Garrus and Dr. Chakwas were still surveying the wreckage that had once been the kitchen. Deciding that being part of the clean-up crew wasn't her cup of tea and that both women would come see her if needed, Dr. Chakwas turned around and walked back to her office. Garrus lingered for a moment longer and snorted loudly.

"I might have to start cooking as well," the turian chimed before making his way back to his calibrations.


A/N: hmmm what did Garrus mean by that? Might he have an object of affection as well? Could there be a connection to nr. 3 on the list? Stay tuned!