A/N: Instead of seeing AU world, this follows canon Lin and Tenzin in the aftermath of their adventures.
Lin was back.
He couldn't believe a week had passed since she returned to their world. It felt like he welcomed her yesterday, but no. As thrilled as he was to have her presence, she returned almost with a different soul and Tenzin couldn't exactly pinpoint these changes. When he stared into her eyes, the best way he could describe it was gazing into cracked glass. Though he didn't have the luxury of meeting his alternate children and bond with them, to Lin he could only imagine the separation as the death of a loved one, much like the one that possessed him following his father's passing. While Lin readjusted to life here, he decided it would be best to give her some space. In the meantime, the divorce papers were ready to be submitted and the thought sent his heart racing.
'I can't believe I'm doing it.'
Yet, here he was. The press was going to devour the news and plaster it everywhere for weeks. Tenzin reasoned the news would last at the most a couple months while the media kept tabs on his whereabouts with eagle-hawk eyes. Every interaction he spends with anyone outside of the family, especially Lin, would be dissected and tossed into the rumor mill. He couldn't force her into his affairs after everything that happened and a new resolve hardened to shield her from every offensive rumor thrown at her.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Come in, Tenzin."
The pen moved endlessly with Lin's undivided attention. From his spot, he could see the concentration etched on her face. He expected a sarcastic comment to be thrown at him the moment he stepped foot in her office, but her silence struck a deeper chord in him.
"What is it, Tenzin? I don't have all day." She broke away from the task at hand and finally met his eyes. His heart plunged to the pit of his stomach, mouth suddenly drying.
A dullness and emptiness lingered in her eyes, replacing the authority and command that remained present when anyone addressed Lin. She wasn't looking at him. She was looking through him. Shadows of dark circles hung below her eyes, shoulders slumped forward. Every moment was sluggish and lacked vigor that she expected within herself and every officer under her command. Tenzin fought the urge to gather her in his arms and absorb all of her pains. Life didn't work like some magical fairytale where a love confession would instantly heal all the invisible scars and wounds.
Lin exhaled heavily, crossing her arms. "What are you here for, Tenzin?"
He straightened, palms sweating and butterflies fluttering in his stomach. "I came to check and see how you are doing."
She pondered his words, staring blankly through him. Tenzin inhaled deeply, standing solid and firm in the midst of her silence. He knew there was the possibility that she would deflect her true emotions and if she did, he would need to tread carefully to express his support.
"What the hell is with all the snacks in my cabinet?"
A low chuckle slipped from the airbender. "Ah, you noticed."
"It's the first thing I noticed, aside from the couches being a mess," she answered wearily.
"It was from your other self."
"I know."
"How?"
"I'm not that dull, you know."
"I-I know that. Um, I hope you enjoy it." Tenzin bit his lip, taking a few steps further into her territory. "But truly, how are you holding up, Lin?"
Her gaze averted back to the paper, softening as it glossed over elegant handwriting. Lin felt a shakiness in her breathing and she slowly exhaled to ease the tension collecting in her throat. "It's been really hard," she admitted quietly, closing her pen.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She avoided the concern and worry in his gaze and voice. "Will anyone even understand how I feel?"
"I might not fully understand, but I'm here to listen and try."
Slowly, he could see the green of her eyes. "As much as I'd like to, I don't know if I can without," a sniffle, "you know…"
He nodded. "I understand. If you're not ready or don't want to, you don't need to justify yourself—"
"It's not that I don't want to, it's just…" she winced, tilting her head up as a soft whimper escaped. Bowing her head down, Lin covered her eyes with a hand as tears cascaded past her palms. "I'm never going to see them again, Tenzin…and I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept that."
Without thinking, he was at her side, enveloping her in a protective embrace as his cloak absorbed the pain and anguish spilling from Lin's soul. Every cry was a knife carving deeper and deeper into his heart, twisting slowly. Lin was the first person who held him in the hours after his father's soul peacefully transitioned into the spirit world. Since then, this felt like it was the first time he was Lin's rock and comfort through her grief. How long had it been since he'd seen her this vulnerable? When she sacrificed her bending to protect his family, he knew Lin only revealed the tip of the iceberg and nothing more. She didn't fully allow him into her space in the short period without her bending, but this felt different.
Lin didn't lose a part of her identity.
She lost a family, a happy world.
When the sobs calmed to gentle gasps, Lin pulled away and pressed a few tissues into her eyes. "Thanks for coming to check on me, but I think what I need is time alone."
"I don't think so."
"Tenzin, I'm serious," she insisted. "I'm being pathetic and I'd rather pull myself together in private."
"I am serious. You are not pathetic. I know you need some time to process things on your own, but you're not bearing this alone. Please let me help you carry your pain."
Lin sighed, lips tightly pursed. "It may be better if you spend time with your family than coddling me."
"Lin, you're just as important to me as my family. I know with everything that's happened between us in the past, you may have a different view on our friendship. But you are. You are the one of the most influential people in my life and such a large part of who I am. I can't stand idle knowing my closest friend is struggling. I've done that for too long because I've been too self-centered to see beyond the surface. It's time for me to break that cycle."
Lin crossed her arms, studying him closely. She leaned back into her chair. "Do you have to be so stubborn?" she asked quietly.
"You know you wouldn't be able to stop me."
A shrug. "I suppose."
Tenzin half-smiled, searching for the right words in the growing silence. A nervous tongue wet his lips, teeth digging in. "There's something else I wanted to tell you..."
"What is it?"
His heart hammered against his chest, stomach leaping and jumping in a succession of somersaults. He slowly exhaled, a silent breath releasing some of the anxious pressure in his chest. "I'm divorcing Pema," he revealed calmly. "I wanted you to hear it from me rather than the press."
Lin's face fell slowly, eyebrows scrunched. "Why?" came the stuttering whisper between the unspoken tension. "You have everything you wanted, Tenzin. Why are you throwing that all away?"
"It also represents what was expected of me." Tenzin knelt in front of her and Lin angled her body a few inches away from him. "It's not a complete reflection of what I wanted, so…it's time to live for myself."
"What is that supposed to mean? Tenzin, have you thought this through?"
His soft smile stood in the face of the shocked earthbender. "I have. Your alternate self helped me realize that my time with Pema is over. I'm very thankful for the time we shared together and my children. But I understand that we are not the right fit as I thought before."
"So it was because of me…"
"Yes and no." Upon her confusion, Tenzin continued, "Your alternate self helped me realize that I wasn't truly growing as an individual during my marriage to Pema. Now I need to find and unlearn my flaws. Pema never acknowledged them and I didn't put in the proper work to manage it."
"I'm sorry," Lin responded tightly.
"You don't need to be sorry for anything."
"I feel like I'm responsible for breaking up a family, especially since," Lin paused, swallowing hard, "...especially since you were so happy."
"You're not responsible for this. This is my decision alone and I'm going to face the consequences of my choice." He glanced at the ground, noticing the bounce of Lin's leg. "I was comfortable and at times, yes I was happy. I carried out my father's legacy and had a family…But this is what I want, Lin. I'm ready to break away from the world's expectations and discover who I am."
Tears clouded her eyes, trickling down her cheeks as their eyes met in a longing stare. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
"Yes." The confidence and conviction in his voice surprised them both. "I know this decision not only affects me, but others."
"Pema, your kids…" Lin trailed off, turning and wiping at her eyes. "Well, it's your life, so I'm not going to tell you what to do. You do what you think is best. I just advise that you think carefully to not hurt your kids."
"I will do everything in my power to handle this as smoothly as possible. I'll also keep the press away from you as much as I can."
"I appreciate that. I guess whatever happens, good luck with things."
"Thank you…"
A hint of awkwardness weaved itself in the wave of silence that washed over them. Tenzin's gaze wandered to Lin's desk and noticed that she had been midway into a letter with a plate of moon peach and ginger slices. His eyebrows scrunched together. Moon peach and ginger? In all the years that he's known her, this particular food combination was not one that he remembered in the lifetime of memories.
"Would you like a slice?"
He shook his head. "I'm fine, thank you." Suddenly, his hands slithered to his pockets and pulled out a small envelope. "Your other self gave me something, um, but I'm not sure if this is a good time to bring it out."
"What is it?"
He extended the envelope to her. "Photos. If you don't want to see them now, I can show you another time."
She accepted it gingerly. "I'd like to see it," she answered, fingers immediately unfolding the sleeve and digging around.
"Are you sure?" The question caused Lin to freeze, peering up at him and searching for something in the windows to his soul. That look urged him to add more to his question. "I don't want to worsen how you may be feeling…"
"This is all we have left of them," she said firmly. "If I cry and break down, then whatever. Pretty sure my reaction would be the same no matter when you show me, so what's the difference? But this," she waved the envelope up, "this is the only thing we have to remember them by."
"Alright."
Lin motioned to a chair, gesturing closer. "Bring it here."
Once he pulled another chair closer to her side, Lin gingerly extracted the photos from the sleeve. Every movement of her fingers unfolding the paper hypnotized her, all of reality's surroundings crumbling for this one moment. As the sunlight streaked across the photos, a warm smile grew on her face.
This was the same photo Tenzin showed her when she woke up in that alternate reality. Upon first sight, it struck her heart into paralysis and trapped her voice. Now, all she could feel was a blanket of warmth and love hugging her shoulders, and perhaps if she closed her eyes, she would feel those very arms holding her. If she listened very closely, then she could hear the tender whispers in the distance, "We love you, Mom."
Tenzin reached over for a tissue, dabbing the cloth along his cheeks. "I can make a copy for you, too."
She nodded, flipping to the next one and melting at how small the kids used to be. The way she held the baby made it harder to tell which of the twins she held and since it was in black and white. Too bad Tenzin also didn't hold the baby a bit higher to see their face clearly. Did she and Tenzin once use those blankets to bundle Jin and Mei before it finally snuggled the twins? If only photos could be printed in color, then it would breathe more life into the memory rather than looking like a ghost of the unknown.
"There's also something I have to show you…" Lin murmured, gaze lingering on the baby sleeping peacefully in her arms. The drawer opened and she extracted her own white envelope, the edges neatly cut with a blade. Loud squeaks screeched into the room as Lin dragged her seat closer to Tenzin, their legs touching side by side. A jolt of electricity shivered down her thigh at the comfortable touch and she briefly wondered if Tenzin felt that same sensation running through his blood. Regardless, she passed the envelope into his hands.
"What is it?"
"Open it and find out."
Instantly, fresh tears trailed down his cheeks and fell into his lap. Her own vision began to blur and disappear with each blink, but it didn't stray from Tenzin's face. A new flush of pink emerged on his cheeks, lips trembling slightly despite his teeth digging into the flesh to hold onto his composure. Lin's gaze travelled to the stack in his hands, mind returning to that moment.
The kids were grinning and laughing along the beach with Lin. They were running from a wave that almost crashed against their waists, bubbles of foam swallowing their legs and creeping up to their hips.
Tenzin pointed to something. "What are those dark shadows on their bodies?"
"...A spirit hurt them," Lin answered somberly, avoiding those spots and instead focused on the joyful smiles. "It held onto them for too long and left them with bruises."
His thumbs cast over their black and white forms, grazing the bruises across their bodies.
"It was my fault…" her voice cracked, the tightness in her throat closing in stronger. Lin averted her gaze away, the visions of that night flickering at the forefront of her mind and taunting her with an outcome that she almost made a reality. A tiny voice in her repeatedly whispered "You almost killed them," a whirlwind of emotions swirling around her. A large hand gently grasped hers, dispelling the voice and grounding her back to reality. To him. "It was my fault," she gasped.
Concern coated his eyes."What was?"
Lin shook her head, choking back tears. She yanked another tissue. "I'm not ready yet…I-I can't…"
Tenzin gently squeezed her hand, leaning closer to her. "It's alright, Lin. It's okay if you're not ready. You don't have to explain anything to me. I'll still be here."
"Thanks…" The tissue soaked in the truths as a small hiccup escaped her. "Keep looking. There's more."
Flip.
A vignette of Lin sitting in the bedroom on a chair and all four of their kids embracing her. Two of them kneeled on the floor, arms wrapped around her waist. The light in the corner cast struck across her cheek, revealing a visible trace of tears. Lin turned her wrist and twisted the bracelet so that the Beifong pendant would meet the airbender. She pointed to the jade. "Meilin."
Gold. "Jin."
Obsidian. "Kang."
Pearl. "Areum."
The cloud of confusion remained in his eyes and Lin continued, "They made this." Nodding at the photo, "That was the night they gave it to me. My last night there…"
He smiled. "It's beautiful."
"Whenever you want to talk about them," her voice wavered, the slow pause trailing longer, "just ask me."
"Really?" Tenzin sniffled.
She nodded once. "It's something nice to talk about instead of just work and whatever problems Korra and her crew whipped up."
"They're not a bad bunch."
"Hmm…didn't have much problems with these kids."
"Oh?"
Lin rolled her eyes, dabbing at the corners. "Just get to the next photo."
Flip.
Rather than a photograph, a small sketch of Lin perched on the railings of the meditation pavilion greeted Tenzin. One leg on the railing and the other bent up as she leaned against the pillar, and a plate with fruit balanced on her thigh. Light pencil strokes perfectly defined Lin's lean physique, while pinks, purples, oranges, and yellows paired with faded blues complemented her relaxed form. Lin remembered the subtle breezes that danced between tree branches and the warmth of the sun caressing her cheek on that day, glints of light occasionally blinding her.
"Well, can I sit here with you then?"
"You gonna babble my ear off?"
"Just going to work on some sketches."
"Don't you want to go closer to the edge? Somewhere with a better view? Literally anywhere but here?"
"...I'd rather sit here by you."
A muffled cry escaped from the back of her throat and she bit down on her lip hard, but the pain failed to ease the tears. Tenzin inched closer and wrapped an arm around her. She leaned into him awkwardly. "Areum drew that."
Tenzin beamed, eyes glistening. "She's a talented artist. A thousand times better than me."
Lin motioned to the plate of moon peaches and ginger slices. "That's our snack. We're the only ones who eat it. It…" she paused and added quietly, "it was one of my cravings when I was pregnant with the twins."
He continued to stare at her and eventually returned to the family portrait. He pointed to one of the faces. "It's her, right?"
"Yeah…" Lin smiled painfully, body slowly melting more comfortably against him.
"I heard she's the sweetheart."
"She is…reminds me so much of your father." After a few moments, Lin reached for another tissue and wiped her eyes. "Go on. There's a few left."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, yes. Come on."
Flip.
Individual photos of Lin with each of their children smiled back at him. Areum and she sat on a stone bench, hands conjoined. Kang and Lin in front of an earthen statue of herself, his arm draped around her shoulders. Jin and Lin standing arm in arm on the bridge over the pond. Mei and Lin almost cheek to cheek beneath the fruit tree.
"Dad, come take my photo with Mom!" Meilin reached for Lin's hand, dragging her beneath the tree. The sunlight peeked between leaves and branches, pointing at random spots of the ground.
"I don't need my picture taken," Lin said deadpan as her daughter positioned them behind a small pocket of light. She could feel the warmth grazing her hair as the grip on her hand tightened.
Mei angled her face as Tenzin raised the camera. "Haven't you heard a photo is worth a thousand words?" Their fingers interlocked and her cheek brushed against Lin's. "It'll last forever, even if we don't."
"Lin, lean closer to her."
Slowly, Lin released her hand and snaked an arm around Mei, pulling her closer against her side. "Hurry up and take the photo then, Airhead."
Snap!
Lin fought the blurry curtain distorting the vision of her daughter. Ever the sophisticated celebrity, Meilin angled her face so perfectly that the shadows concealed any sign of injury to her cheek.
"She's a spitting image of you, Lin."
She shook her head. "She's more beautiful than me."
Tenzin opened his mouth, but quickly closed it. He reorganized the photos in their proper order. "Thank you for showing me this. They're all beautiful, just like you said."
"I know…photos don't do them justice," Lin agreed fondly, eyes downcast. The guilt continued to gnaw within Lin, chipping away at all the walls she built and slowly consuming her from the inside-out. Swallowing hard, she clenched her hands. "Tenzin?"
"Yes?"
Lin gently took the photos and pulled out the one of herself with Mei. Shakily, she began, "There's something you should know."
Tenzin peered at the earthbender and then the photograph. "What is it?" he asked slowly.
"I'll accept whatever hate you have toward me."
"Lin, you're worrying me. Whatever it is, I could never hate you."
"You probably would."
"I swear I won't. There's nothing you've done that could make me hate you."
"It's not what I did…it's what I didn't do."
Tenzin stared at her intently, slowly asking, "What do you mean?"
Lin opened her mouth, jade avoiding grey. Her gaze remained on the young soul. "We almost had her."
"What do you mean?"
"It means exactly what I said." Lin's eyes clenched shut, tears streaming down her face. She could feel his stare burning into her body and soul. "I just didn't know until after I lost her…"
His breathing quivered, heavily falling from his nose and mouth. "When?" he asked, voice deep and low. A few teardrops landed on his hand, trickling down his wrist.
"After you proposed the first time." She swiped at the tears with the back of her hand, a heaviness slowly clenching around her heart. "I just thought I was more stressed than usual, so I didn't go to see your mom. I kept saying I would see her the next day, but then…by the time I wanted to, I was too late. I-I didn't know and if I did, I wouldn't have ignored the signs. I still wanted her…"
Tenzin buried his face into his palms. "Why didn't you tell me?" He peered up at her, the glassiness in his eyes bright.
"I thought if I could forget about it, then it just never happened. I didn't want to hurt you with the fact that I lost our child because of my poor choices. If anyone had to bear that burden, it should be mine alone."
His fists clenched, a darkness hovering in his aura. "I would have been by your side through everything. You didn't need to endure that alone. We both lost our baby. I wouldn't have grieved less than you because I wasn't carrying our child!"
"I was afraid!" Lin exclaimed.
"Of what, Lin?"
"I was afraid of what you would think of me, so I buried it down and vowed to take that secret with me into death."
"I would have never thought any less of you!" He cried out. "I would have mourned with you. I would have never let you bear that pain alone. Was I undeserving of that?"
"You didn't deserve any of the pain."
"That's not my point, Lin. Did you think my heart wouldn't break over what we lost? That I would have disregarded the potential life and suggested we have another baby to replace them?"
She held the photo up to his face, eyes narrowed and nostrils flaring. Her cheeks were slick with crystal tears, flushed from the heat of anger. "Well, this is her! She's the one who could have been ours, but I fucked up! In another world, I made better choices and we had our baby girl! It's all my fault, so it's my price to pay!"
"Lin, I—"
She turned away from him, back facing the airbender. Emotions caught up to her breathing, unsettling its calm rhythm as hot tears continued to roll down her cheeks. Her lips trembled, muffled whimpers falling from her lips. "You can hate me all you want for losing her and not telling you all these years. I already do…" .
Guilt weighed down on his shoulders and he pivoted her chair so that she couldn't avoid him and face him like the powerful earthbender she is. Lin kept her head low and he stepped closer into her territory, his legs angled between hers. Tenzin tilted her chin up, a thumb brushing away her sorrows. Her skin was warm yet also chilly beneath his touch. "I don't hate you, Lin…and I never will," he professed softly, leaning closer. "But I deserved to know."
Lin sniffled, gazing into grey eyes that always carried peace when they stared into her soul. "You're right."
"I deserved to know…"
"I'm sorry, Tenzin."
"She was our baby…"
"She was your baby…"
Suddenly, the realization settled over them at how close they were and their gazes eventually flickered to the other's lips. Only their heavy breathing filled their eardrums and drowned out the static city noise. Their chests heaved slowly and steady. "She was ours, Lin…" His hand slid from her cheek across her jawline and behind her head, pulling her into the spell that captured both.
Lin tilted her head to the right, warm breaths tickling hers. "She was ours…"
They melted immediately into what felt so natural and right. Lin released a soft breath against his lips, earning in an arm slithering around her waist and urging her closer to his body. Neither could form a coherent thought as soft kisses and gentle nibbles quickly transformed into deeper, longer ones. Desperation and neediness began to infiltrate the comfort and vulnerability in the way their tongues danced together. Nothing mattered except for this moment and being together, their hearts and souls finally happy to be reunited when illusions had closed it off. Tenzin pulled Lin halfway into his lap when the photos fell to the ground, the sound catching Lin's attention.
She dismounted him and his body protested at the disappearing weight as she picked up the scattered photos. Tenzin secretly prayed for her to slither back into his arms and sit on his lap once more, a complaint at the tip of his tongue when she instead returned to her seat and—oh, is she blushing? Her lipstick had smeared outside her natural lines and a thrill ran through him knowing that he was the cause behind it. Did it also transfer onto his lips? The urge to touch his own mouth intensified but he resisted. As she licked her tongue over her lips, he couldn't help but imagine those lips parted and her sultry voice screaming his name against the metal desk.
Lin wiped at her eyes and pushed the hair behind her ears. Clearing her throat, she avoided his stare. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I-I was just…you know…"
"No, no, it was my fault."
The awkwardness returned and neither knew what direction this was headed in the longer they sat in silence. A part of them wanted to remain and another side of them craved privacy to properly process the overwhelming emotions that pushed and pulled at their hearts. Lin's heart raced, heat rising to her cheeks and ears as the thumping echoed in her eardrums. She just kissed a married man when she was so incredibly vulnerable and she enjoyed it. Fuck, she wanted more of it and to slide back into his lap to go further beyond the limits. 'This is the wrong Tenzin, pull yourself together, Lin!' How much more pathetic could she become?
Lin mentally slapped herself and was the first to break the silence before the tension thickened. "Um, Tenzin, look, I'm-I'm sorry for keeping it a secret from you. You're right, you deserved to know. I should have told you about it regardless of my feelings and insecurities."
Tenzin shifted, clasping his hands together somewhat shakily. "I'm not happy that you kept it from me, but neither of us can change what has happened and I have to accept that."
Lin nodded, another beat passing as she searched for the words to fill the void. Her eyes flickered over at the photo, the memories of grey ones looking back at her filling the black and white lines. "To be honest, I thought if I did tell you later on, it would hurt less because so much time had already passed…but it doesn't. It only hurts more."
"Why?"
The song of her lost daughter's heartbeat raced in her ears and long charcoal hair hazed her memory. "Because now I know what she looks like, what her heartbeat feels like, what we named her. She answered all my questions of what could have been, and it hurts more to tell you now because I know exactly what we lost."
"Lin…"
"No language can describe what I feel. Nothing I say or do will bring them here," she murmured. "They'll always be a memory, but never a reality. If my tears and memories could build a bridge, I'd build one straight to Heaven and bring them home."
Tenzin rose from his seat and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry, Lin," his voice disappeared into her hair, all of the love he held for her extending beyond his limbs and sinking into the earthbender.
"I would change the past if I could," she confessed, knuckles whitening and nails digging into her palms as she grabbed at his cloak.
His hand trailed up and down her back soothingly, although interrupted and blocked by the metal spools. "I believe you, Lin. I believe you."
"I'm sorry," she wept. "I'm so sorry, Tenzin."
"It's not your fault, Lin. Let it all out. Be angry with me." He tightened his hold around her, their hearts racing against each other's.
A weak whimper fell into his shoulder as they fell into another emotional spell in each other's arms. "I just want to scream…"
"...Let's go."
"What?"
Tenzin pulled away, staring into her eyes. "Let's go."
"Where?"
"I don't know, but we'll find a place." He took a few tissues and offered it to her. Lin accepted it gratefully and threw it into the trash bin.
"You say 'let's go' but you have no idea where we're headed."
"Yes."
"You really are an airhead," she mumbled, locking the photos in her desk. Once the sound clicked in place, to her surprise, his hand immediately reached for hers and practically floated with her to the rooftop. If he didn't slow down, she'd trip over air and send them both tumbling in the middle of the hallway. But she managed to keep up as they made their way into the open air of the rooftop. A low moan rumbled from beneath the shade and a smile twitched at the corners at her mouth.
"Blehhh."
"Hi, old friend." Lin touched Oogi's forehead and pressed her face against his fur. The bison nuzzled against her, earning him an amused chuckle. "It's been awhile, huh?"
"Hmmm."
"I'm fine." Pat. Pat. "Don't worry about me, alright?"
Oogi shook his head. "Bleehhhh."
"Thanks." Lin pressed her forehead against him again. Although Tenzin stood on the side quietly, she knew he was waiting for her to signal for his assistance. She shook her head and propelled herself into the saddle. While Tenzin settled himself with the reins and they ascended into the heavens, winds combing through her silver hair, hints of freedom began to already bubble within her.
She exhaled deeply, peering over the saddle to observe all the passing city buildings through the light clouds. Lin extended a hand out, the cool air resisting against her palms.
"Here?"
"Yes. Something tells me this is the place."
She scoffed, sliding off of Oogi and landing on the vines. "Of course it would be. Where it all began."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't feel like I want to scream now."
"Maybe the moment has been lost for a while…" Tenzin peered at the portal. "Just because you don't feel the urge, it probably still wants to come out."
Lin crossed her arms, glaring at the spiritual pillar. "Piss me off."
"What?"
"Do it. Make me angry."
"I-I…what do I do?"
"Say something. Do something. Anything. You're pretty good at it."
"I, uh, I broke up with you."
"..."
"..."
"Really? That's it?"
"Uh, you lost your bending to Amon."
"You're just annoying me."
"I'm thinking!" He huffed, throwing his hands up. "Um, uhhh, the kids are gone?"
"Yeah, go with that one. What else?" She pressed further.
"We're not going to see them again."
Lin made a face. "What? Tenzin, come closer, I can barely hear you." She reached for him, grasping his cloak and pulling him into her personal space. He gulped as their chests almost pressed against each other again, but even more so in the open space. Tenzin's breath hitched in his throat at the heat of her body and the subtle fragrance of jasmine shampoo danced in his nostrils. He had a closer look at the light wrinkles at the corners of her eyes beneath the natural sunlight. She looked so adorable when she scrunched her eyebrows at him like that, demanding an answer from him. "What did you say?"
He swallowed, the tone forcing him out of his boyish thoughts. He shifted from her piercing stare. "You're never going to see the kids."
"Yeah?" Her eyes narrowed on him, the shell of a glare hardening. "Keep going. Don't hold back."
"Forgive me, Lin," he mumbled, chewing on his lip before releasing a hard exhale. "The kids will never be yours. You'll forever live with the guilt of what will never be yours. They are a reminder of your mistakes in this life. While you are living the best life in another world, you won't have that luxury in your world. You will never hear them call you 'Mom' ever again."
A dangerously low snarl rang in his ears and a chill ran up his spine as Lin's fists tightened around his cloak and shoved him backwards against the vines. Her jaw clenched and eyes burning with fire and rage, attention panning over to the portal. Without hesitation, she sprinted across the vines and leapt into the portal, body disappearing into the blinding lights. Moments later, she was catapulted from the spirit realm and it was thanks to Tenzin's swift reflexes that he was able to cushion her landing.
"Lin!" He rushed over to her side, offering a supportive hand but was slapped away. "Are you alright?"
Lin panted and jumped into action again, forcing entry into the portal only to be rejected moments later. A low groan escaped as she sat up along the vines.
She ran.
She hit the vines.
She ran.
Tenzin caught her before the vines could, cradling her head as he laid her flat along the roots.
"Lin…"
She shoved him back, eyes clenched shut and hot tears paved new trails. Her hands tangled in her hair, nails scratching at her scalp. With one breath, a heart wrenching scream echoed beyond the earthen walls and shattered his glass heart into pieces. To any stranger, it would be a psychotic and manic scream. To him, he knew this was the distress of a mourning parent. His soul could read the anger, loneliness, anguish, and yearning laced into her wails.
As her cries slowly dipped into muffled sobs, she covered her face with her palms, soft moans slipping between her fingers. "They're gone…"
Tenzin slid his arm beneath her neck and raised her upright. Lin melted into his touch as if seeking any trace of comfort she could latch onto, head leaning against his shoulder. He bowed forward to help her slip into a proper embrace. Light hiccups rolled through her body and he held her steady through each trembling breath. "Cry, Lin. It's alright."
"Why would the universe give them to me only to take them away?"
"I don't know…"
All of her strength slid from her bones and pooled into the earth. Tenzin held her closer, body trembling against his own. With the surrounding nature and close proximity to the earth, the voices from nature silently spoke words of comfort to the earthbender as she surrendered to the safety and protection he offered.
She sensed his footsteps the moment he stepped foot into the station. Light as a feather as per usual, weaving in and out of the hallways and dodging passersby through the metal labyrinth. With a flick of her wrist, the door swung open before his fist could knock against the metal.
"I came as soon as I could." Tenzin closed the door behind him, eyes frantically scanning her features. "Is everything alright? Is something wrong?"
Lin tapped a stack of envelopes against the table, meeting his concerned expression. "Relax, it's not an emergency."
"Okay…" His face softened, lips pursed together. "Well then, how are you feeling?" He approached the desk and she rose from her seat, meeting his level. "I was a little worried about you yesterday."
"Yesterday is history and today is a different day."
"That doesn't answer the question, Lin."
The earthbender sighed, crossing her hands behind her back. "It's a little better than yesterday. That's all I'm going to say."
He nodded. "You said I needed to join you for something?"
Lin hummed, raising four sealed envelopes with her personal stamp—blue, gold, green, and pink. "Come and deliver this with me."
"...You want me to go with you to the post office?"
"We're not going to the post office."
A flicker of curiosity and wariness glinted in his eye as he surveyed the notes in hand. "Then, where exactly are we delivering this?"
"You'll know as soon as we get there."
"You're being unusually vague, Lin. That's not your style."
"Do you think I'm luring you into a trap?" She cocked her head to the side, raising a brow.
"No. I trust you."
"What if it were a trap?"
"I'd still follow you."
Lin scoffed, shaking her head. "Just come with me to deliver this, Airhead."
Why does he have to keep staring at her? He should just look in the other direction. As if there's something special about the back of her head. She refused to look over her shoulder at his clueless face as the bright light radiated powerful beams into the skies. Perhaps she shouldn't have asked him to come with her here. If she knew he would only be a distraction, then she wouldn't have dragged him out. She reasoned that having someone who was directly impacted by the reality switch would ease her anxieties, but now she was left unsure. Every moment his stare seared in the back of her form elevated her heart rate and she considered yelling at him to just stand by her side.
Instead, her body moved before her mind could make a decision, small steps advancing towards the portal. The disorienting energy began to tickle her body and she knew she was too close, so she took a step back into the safety of the physical world. Clearing her throat, Lin's posture straightened.
"Spirits, I have no idea who I'm addressing or if this is going to work…" She glanced at the portal for any indication that something or some spiritual being was listening, but nothing changed. "I'm not the most spiritual person around, that's more of Airhead's specialty…"
The familiar tingle behind her ears slowly manifested and she peered in different spots to keep the tears at bay. "This was the only thing I could think of, so please send this to—" Her throat tightened and she coughed. "Please send this to my…"
Did she even have the right to say it? In some ways she embraced it and in other ways, she felt it was inappropriate to allow herself the title. Why should she consider herself a mother if that is not the reality in her world? How should she address them? How should she address herself moving forward? No, she's technically not a mother because she never fully experienced pregnancy and childbirth.
Is another woman their mother? A calm voice cut through her thoughts.
Lin chewed on her lip, gaze lowering to the multicolored envelopes. She inhaled deeply and held her head high. "Spirits, Universe, I kindly ask that you send this to my kids. Even if they're not a part of my reality, they are a part of me. I'm still their mother regardless of which world we are from. So, please…deliver this to my children."
After a moment of listening, she let go.
The letters almost levitated into the unknown realm and Lin held onto her breath, half-expecting it to be thrown into her face and shredded into pieces. A moment passed, then another. None of the letters returned. A glimmer of hope beamed in jade eyes, staring intently at the spiritual power that stood and heeded her request. Lin pursed her lips together for a moment.
"Thanks for accepting my letters, if you did…it'd be nice if you can somehow bring my kids back to me. I told Areum I'd wait for them, but maybe this is a stretch since I'm too old to get knocked up and I'm not attached to Tenzin." Lin nodded sadly. "One can dream and wish, huh?"
She thought she caught the slightest hue grace the column for a flash and then disappeared, but it was probably the angle of a stray sunstreak. A tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed a thumb across it, destroying its path. "Thanks anyway for listening…"
A small weight lifted from her shoulders as she trudged back to where Tenzin stood. He greeted her with a sympathetic smile and rested a hand on her shoulder. His gaze glossed over her features, then trailed down to the rest of body. "How do you feel?"
Lin shrugged. "Maybe I'll figure it out tonight with a little bit of booze."
"Please don't drink too much."
"You're not the boss of me."
"Still."
"Thanks for coming to send the letters," Lin trailed off. "I planned to do it yesterday, but...you know..." She shrugged.
Tenzin nodded sympathetically and paused, contemplating his next train of words carefully. "If you need anything else, you can always let me know. I'm here for you, Lin."
"Thanks, that's…I appreciate it," Lin replied softly, eyes slowly travelling from his eyes to his lips.
A curious tongue ran across his lips and he caught sight of luscious full lips with the perfect natural pink shade. He leaned forward slightly, hypnotized by the thought that he knows the exact amount of pressure necessary to smudge it across her mouth again.
Lin cleared her throat suddenly and both straightened in their stances, gazes fixed on random objects despite the subtle blush emerging on their pale complexion. "Thank you for coming with me to send off those letters."
"Of course, it's always a pleasure." The ground was looking really interesting at this moment…."If you're done with work, there's something I'd like to show you."
"It's not the portal?"
"No, a new detail that might be slightly entertaining for you."
A brow raised. "Entertaining?"
Tenzin chuckled sheepishly. "Maybe?"
"Let's see it then," Lin conceded flatly.
"Really?"
"Yes, before I change my mind."
"You're sure?"
"If you ask me one more time, I'm ditching you."
Her fingers delicately traced the elegant swirls and solid lines of an air and earth union—the same design Tenzin once presented her with years ago. "So she really was here."
A small smile crossed his face. "That's her marking."
"She picked a good spot," Lin chuckled.
"I'm glad you approve, although I'm not surprised you appreciate it," Tenzin replied, steadying his balance along the metal. With the limited amount of space available, their legs pressed against each other, feet dangling freely over the edge. The tips of Lin's fingertips accidentally brushed against his and he fought the warm blush quickly rising on his cheeks. He maintained an averted gaze to preserve a sense of composure, although his curiosity wondered if she felt the same flush of heat rise in her blood and spike in heart rate.
The afternoon was beginning to dip into dusk, the shadows of the night prepared to crawl over Republic City. There wasn't as much of a breeze whipping around them like the last time he was up here, but he could always supply any gentle winds if Lin wanted them. Some of the building lights shone brighter than others as the city prepared to be the mirror of the stars once again. Lin leaned against the head of the statue and if Tenzin were standing below, he would aim a camera to capture the moment. He could already envision the wholesome scene—Toph and Lin leaning their heads together.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"I'm not."
"I can feel it from here and I could feel it when we were at the portal. Do I have something in my hair?"
"No, that's not it."
"Then?"
Tenzin studied her face, basking in her grounded presence. The sunlight added warmth to the silver hair that was once charcoal, and a hint of light touched the jade in her eyes. Every small wrinkle that appeared on her face was evidence of life, survival, and humanity. He yearned to hear every story behind each wrinkle. Was it from pain? Was it from laughter? There were many stories for Lin to tell, if she wished to reveal them of course. "...There's so much I want to say, but now isn't the right time to say it."
"Why not?"
He shook his head. "I feel it's too soon."
Lin's hand covered his and his heart sang elatedly. "Look, if you want to talk about this whole alternate universe thing, I think I can manage that. I wasn't the only one who had a life-changing field trip, you know. I'm sure the other me must have rocked your world."
"Oh, she definitely did."
"Ah, care to share?"
Tenzin chuckled. "One day, but not today."
"Keep your secrets then."
"You'll find out someday."
"Do I want to know?"
"Do you?"
Lin scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Forget it. Only the other me can understand you."
"You understand me, too," he pointed out.
She shrugged casually. "To some degree."
He released a sigh, peering at their hands. "You know, I learned a lot about myself and the consequences of my choices. I especially realized that while both of us have changed since we've parted, some things haven't."
Uncertainty coated her gaze, lips pursing together. With nowhere else to go, Lin respected his desire to speak, listening intently. Tenzin turned his hand over, their fingers semi-laced together and a stifled gasp escaped the earthbender.
"I love you, Lin. Always have and I always will. I thought that was the only truth for a long time. But when your alternate self came here…I realized that there was more to it. Not only do I have love for you, but I'm in love with you. It never stopped even though I let you go and believed that my heart had moved on."
She squeezed his hand, shifting her weight. "Tenzin…"
"Wait, please, Lin…I'm not getting a divorce because I'm trying to restart what we had. As much as a part of me wants to immediately be with you again, I need to really process the ending of my marriage and reflect on who I am. We both need time to reflect on what we've learned from our experiences and how we want to move forward. I don't know if you'd even consider the possibility of a romantic relationship again or how our friendship will look from now on, but regardless of whether you want to be romantically involved or not," His thumb caressed the back of her hand, "I'm choosing to fight for you, protect you, love you, and support you in whatever way you need me here."
Lin continued to blink, eyelashes fluttering so elegantly. How had he forgotten about that after all these years? Did he take advantage of having her during their relationship that he simply overlooked it? Naturally, once they parted ways as lovers, many of these small details became replaced with a new relationship and responsibility. He couldn't read her face, though was it because he couldn't tear away from how the city lights began to look like stars in her eyes? What is she thinking about?
"I don't know what's going to happen between us either, but…I suppose we'll just wait and listen."
He swore he could hear heaven's music in his ears and see a halo appearing from behind her. How did he manage to be this lucky to have her in his life and yet he still let her go? Tears glistened in his eyes as their fingers slowly closed together. "Sounds perfect."
"You and I have a lot of work to do," she said softly, a tiny smile crossing her face and hand gently tightening around his.
He mirrored her smile and squeezed back. "Can't wait."
Red and yellow robes flowed to the nightly breeze, swirling gracefully around long legs as feathery footsteps traversed across wooden floors. In the first room lay Areum in a deep slumber on her back with mouth slightly agape. The figure gently placed the pink envelope quietly atop of her dresser. A large hand patted her shoulder and ghostly lips planted a soft kiss across her hairline.
The gold envelope perched itself on top of the stack of books beside Jin's bed. A sweet kiss pressed at the apex of the blue arrow on his head.
The jade envelope slid beneath the weight of metal cuffs. Loving fingers tenderly stroked the dark hair and stray tendrils tickling the earthbender's eyes.
The blue envelope was discreetly dropped in the pocket of a silk robe. As the young woman shifted and turned on her side, the figure bowed down and cupped a hand over a fading injury.
Finally, the midnight breezes guided the visitor into the final room. The figure stood at the foot of the bed, gazing upon the woman with twin scars across her cheeks and the man with the blue arrow and shaped beard. Lin's slender form curved against Tenzin's side, his arm wrapped around her protectively. A fond smile tugged at the corners of the guest's mouth.
"I'm proud of both of you."
As the moonlight crawled into the room and cascaded over the second pair of blue tattoos, the person vanished.
