Okay, the monkeys in my head were listening to Avenue Q and I was inspired to write this. I do not own Avenue Q. PLease Review!


"How could this get much better? An afternoon alone with my favorite book. No roommates to bother me, and certainly no annoying Aussie to get on my nerves," Alister said almost happily, reaching for his book as he settled in the recliner.

"'ey Alister!" Valon said, entering the house as if on cue.

Alister groaned. There went his peaceful afternoon. "Hi, Valon," he said grudgingly, glaring at the teenager before opening his book. "I thought you were with Ember."

"I was, but not the point. You'll never guess what happened to me today on the bus. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me—"

"That's very interesting," Alister said sarcastically, not tearing his eyes away from his book. "It's not every day that a human being chooses to talk to you. Truly you are a blessed individual."

"Yep. He was being real friendly. I think he might've thought I was gay."

At this, Alister's gaze shifted to the teen. "Lovely thought. Why are you telling me this? I don't care."

"Well, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Alister."

"What makes you think I'm being defensive?" demanded Alister, getting up from his chair to get a drink of water. "I just don't really care about what you did today. I'm trying to read."

"'m not sayin' tha' you're gay, Al—"

"Change of subject, Valon. Now."

"But—"

"Now."

"Well, okay, but on another note…" Valon paused, taking a deep breath, and for a moment Alister thought the Australian might just drop it. And then…

"If you were gay, that'd be okay…"

Alister stiffened.

"I mean 'cause hey, I like you anyway…"

"Valon, what part of 'change the subject' didn't you understand? And stop singing. You're tone deaf."

"Because, you see, if it were me I would feel free to say that I was gay!"

Valon paused. "I'm not, though, just so you know."

Alister huffed irritably and resumed reading—at least until Valon began singing again.

"If you were queer, I'd still be here."

"Valon."

"Year after year—"

"VALON."

"Because you're dear to me—"

"I will murder you if you don't shut up!"

At that, Valon finally stopped singing. Alister sighed in relief, beginning to read once again in the blissful silence.

Valon tilted his head thoughtfully as he disappeared into the kitchen; singing had irritated his throat since he was not used to it. After taking a huge gulp of water, though, he felt refreshed—and a grin split his features.

"So what would it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?"

Alister roared in frustration and threw his book down. "That's just nasty, Valon! I mean it, shut up!"

When Valon continued to sing, Alister plugged his ears and began singing at the top of his voice, "I'm not listening, I'm not listening, la la la la la la!"

When this did nothing to deter Valon, the redhead started yanking on his hair out of frustration. "Valon, for the final time shut up!" he yelled.

The brunette grinned and opened his mouth to continue singing, but then Alister was tackling him to the ground with a frustrated roar.


A few minutes later…

"Damn! What the hell happened in here?" Skye said in disbelief, looking at the living room. The furniture was upended, the TV was cracked and the window was broken.

A blur erupted from the kitchen and Valon ran straight for Raphael. "Raph f'r the love o' God save me!" he screamed, ducking behind Raphael just as a furious Alister began storming toward them.

Skye moved in between Alister and Valon and gently pushed the red-haired man back. "What's this about?"

"He. Won't. Stop. Singing," Alister enunciated with gritted teeth. "And not only can he not sing, he keeps assuming I'm gay!"

"But 'e dresses like it!"

"Yeah, but Raphael dresses like a body builder and I don't hear you telling him that he's an iron-pumping maniac!"

"Gee, thanks Alister. I appreciate that," said Raphael dryly.

"All right enough! Alister, Valon, I want this room cleaned up now, so get to it!" ordered Skye firmly, pointing to the closet where they stored the cleaning supplies.

As Alister and Valon moved on, grumbling under their breaths, Skye pinched the bridge of her nose. "Idiots."


My mind works in weird ways. Lol.