This is the last part I have planned for the Letting Go arc.
Winter came late to Burgess that year. The town had known early snowfalls for the past three hundred years as the winter spirit that inhabited the small lake returned home as soon as he could. Especially in recent years, when the children had started to believe in him. But it had been long enough for many of those children to grow up and stop believing as well and Jack Frost was in no hurry to return home this time.
He came on the last day of fall, the day before the solstice that would mark the anniversary of his rebirth as a Guardian. It seemed fitting to him. He told Jamie he would see him in fall and that was as long as he could wait and still hold that promise. Not that Jamie would know if he did or not. But Jack would and he wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't keep to the last words he ever said to his first believer. The last words he would hear, at least.
The winter solstice had always been a time of renewal to him. It was what he could call his birthday. It did not matter to him that the date was not always the same. A number on the calendar was meaningless to him compared to the natural cycle of seasons. Every year, on this day, he would take a moment to look back at the year just past and look forward to the next one. He would push away the pain and sorrow the previous year had brought and decide which way he wanted to go from here. It was his New Year resolutions.
For much of his new life, this had been a way for him to remain optimistic. To tell himself that he would do better this time and that, if he tried hard enough, someone would finally acknowledge him. To forget his loneliness in favor of resolving to do better this time. It was the time when he pulled himself back together so he could face one more year alone and ignored. This little ritual kept him sane. Mostly.
It had been a happier time, lately. There was less pain to discard and more joy to look forward to. He still took the time to think back, to see what he did right and what he did wrong and to learn from it. There was still some pain to push away, of course. Everything was not suddenly sunshine and rainbows since he became a Guardian. And this year, his time of introspection would take back its old role of saving his sanity.
He waited for Jamie by the college he attended. He stifled a laugh when he saw him. Jamie was eighteen years old now and was apparently trying to prove he was an adult by growing a beard. Or at least that was what he assumed the patchy hair on his chin was supposed to be. It was not exactly impressive. He would love nothing more than to fly up to him and make a snarky comment about it. But there was no point. Jamie would not hear it.
The smile that made its way on his lips faded as he remembered why he had waited so long to return here this time. He got a harsh reminder as Jamie's eyes briefly landed on a spot behind him, without seeing the white haired teen standing in-between. He had the confirmation he didn't really need. He should just go now. But he couldn't. Not yet. There was one more thing he needed to do. He knew it would just cause him unnecessary pain, but he would do it anyway. He needed the closure.
He sighed and silently followed as Jamie chatted with his friends until they parted way to each return home. He looked happy. That was a comfort. Jack flew past his oblivious friend as he continued alone on his way home. He landed lightly on the sidewalk ahead of Jamie and waited. Every inch of him protested as he just stood there, in the way, with someone who could not see him walking straight at him. He wanted to run, to fly away and go bury himself in a snowdrift somewhere, to pretend everything was alright. But he did not move. There would be a time to discard his sorrows later.
He got to see Jamie's new, patchy beard up close as it was level with his eyes. Then the world blurred and the strangest, deepest kind of pain filled him as Jamie's physical form denied his existence and passed right through him. It felt for a moment like he was fading, like he would not survive this attack on his being. It always felt this way, but the emotional pain was deeper, this time. He knew that a small part of him had still held hope that he was wrong, that Jamie still believe, that he would walk up to him and hug him and say he missed him. He had to kill that resilient shred of hope, if he was to move forward. No matter how much it had to hurt.
It only lasted one or two seconds, but it felt like an eternity before the world came back into focus and he felt real again. He stood there trembling, gasping for breath for a few minutes, only moving in a panic as some else came close. He could not handle being walked through again, not now. Taking a deep, steadying breath, he flew to his lake, ready to freeze it, bury it in snow and curl up into a ball until the solstice came. He would pull himself together later. Right now he needed to break down.
A single blast of cold turned the water to ice in an instant. He landed on it in a frantic rush, skidding to a halt when he saw he was not alone. His eyes widened when he saw the Pooka sitting there, trying to hurriedly cover his watercolor paintings to protect them from the now falling snow. Jack stared. Judging from the amount of material scattered around on the shore of his small lake, Bunny had been there for a while.
"Took your time, Frostbite. I was starting to think you wouldn't bury Burgess in snow until winter. They're not used to that."
"What are you doing here?"
"Painting. I can't come up with new, interesting designs for my eggs if I don't go out and see the world sometime."
"But why here?"
"What, do I need an invitation to visit you, Frostbite?"
Jack didn't know what to answer. He didn't know how to react. He wasn't emotionally ready to deal with anyone right now. Bunny's expression softened and he patted the ground next to him. Jack slowly made his way across the ice, trying to look like he was not about to break, and dropped down on the frozen ground next to the Pooka. There was a long moment of silence as both were not sure what to say.
"I saw Jamie, you know. North warned me, but I had to see for myself. He was the kid who kept me from just fading away when no one else believed in me anymore."
Jack nodded numbly. He had expected Bunny to know exactly why he looked like such a mess right now.
"Sophie visited a few times, looking for you. She's confused. She's scared. She didn't know what happened. She tried to get her brother to remember, but he just said she should grow up and stop believing in fairy tales."
Jack closed his eyes. He knew this would be hard on Sophie. But she would have to do exactly that, soon: grow up and stop believing in fairy tales He did not want to think about that right now. Bunny fiddled with a paintbrush.
"Jack... I'm... here for you, you know? If you, er, need a shoulder to cry on or something..."
"I think I've cried enough."
The silence stretched between them. Bunny fiddled with his paintbrush some more. Jack still wanted to break down.
"Bunny... I thinkāI think I want a hug right now."
The Pooka nodded and discarded the paintbrush before pulling the trembling winter spirit against his chest. Jack buried his face in a furry shoulder, no longer trying to pretend he was fine. He gripped Bunny like a lifeline as the other Guardian rubbed his back. It made him feel real.
"Just remember," Bunny whispered, "that we'll always believe in you."
Jack felt tears sting his eyes. Maybe he could still cry, after all.
So, unless a new idea hits me, this is the end of this arc. After that, I'm planning a tie-in for the You Will Fear Me and Going Too Far arcs. Yes, both of them. And Cupid should make an appearance.
