Cracks in the ice

As the credits roll on the movie, I finally notice the weight leaning against me, I look over to my right and see the white bob of Tirpitz leaning against my arm, looking down I can see down her shirt to see the soft rising and falling of her chest. Turning my head a bit more, I see that her eyes are shut, picking up my phone I check the time to see it's a little after oh-one-hundred. Way too late to kick her out of my place, at least not without drawing too many questions, yet having her sleep here will draw their own questions too.

Sighing inwardly I carefully get up, and adjust myself to lift her off the couch, she's surprisingly heavy, I can see why she usually carries me. With one arm under her legs and the other behind her chest, careful not to cop a feel, I carry her to my bed and lay her down on it. I then grab a spare blanket and cover her up, then grab another spare blanket and pillow for myself and quietly slip out of the room to get comfortable on the couch.

With the lights out, I just started to drift off to sleep when I heard soft whimpering coming from my bedroom, sitting up I run a hand down my face and go to see what was wrong. Cracking the door open, and leaving on a hall light, I see Tirpitz thrashing about on my bed, she was hyperventilating and whimpering, "Why won't someone help me? I hear them, I hear them, knocking on me, begging for help."

I stand there watching as she keeps thrashing out about and mummers, "I'm so cold, someone, help me."

Sighing to myself, I turn out the hall light and crawl into bed behind her, and take the risk of holding her from behind, being careful with hand placements so it cannot be assumed I was feeling her up. As soon as one of my arms went across her waist, she rolled toward me and buried her face in my chest, she murmured something again but started to settle down and I'm left wondering what the hell did she see or do?

XXXX

I wake the next morning to the smell of coffee, when I get out of bed, I see that it is just me in the bed. Looking around I listen to see if I can hear Tirpitz, but not picking up anything I head to the kitchen and see a note on the table, thanking me for allowing her to spend the night and that she had made breakfast, I just needed to reheat it.

Sitting down on my couch with a coffee, I send Erik a text asking him if he's got time today to answer some questions I've got. I'm surprised to get an answer a few moments later saying he's on his way over.

About ten or fifteen minutes later, I hear a knock on my door, expecting to find Erik there, imagine my surprise when I see Bismarck standing there, in a brown sweater and black leggings, her hair tied back loosely and an unamused expression on her face. With a sigh, I step back from the door and allow her in as I say, "I was expecting Erik."

Bismarck walks into my home and closes the door behind her as she says to me, "I insisted on being the one to come, as I imagine you have questions relating to us kansen, yes?"

Hanging my head and going to the kitchen, I put on a fresh pot of coffee as I sigh, "Yeah."

Bismarck walks into my kitchen and does a quick look around, her eyes landing on a mug that had a lip-gloss stain on it as she asked, "Who was it that you took to bed?"

Wow, right to it, huh?

"Technically, it was your sister I took to bed." I admit, I mean I did put Tirpitz to bed last night.

The frown on her face could be seen from space as she sighs, "I don't want to know what you and my sister did, North."

"We didn't do anything. After she fell asleep during the movie last night I carried her to my bed, then I went to sleep on the couch." That was true; I didn't have an intention of doing Tirpitz last night.

She gives me a sideways look before starting to look for a mug as she asks, "Then what question do you have?"

I go over to the mug cupboard and take one out for her as I sigh, "I had just got comfortable on the couch, when I heard Tirpitz whimpering, trashing about, and mumbling in her sleep. She was asking for someone to help her, that she was cold, and something about knocking?"

Bismarck got quiet and looked down as she asked, "Anything else?"

I shrug as I top up my mug then start to fill hers as I say, "Yeah, I crawled into bed beside her, then she snuggled in close to me and settled right down, burying her face in my chest."

Bismarck sits at my kitchen table, looking in her mug as she says, "That makes sense."

"How so?" I ask as I sip, thoroughly confused.

Bismarck closes her eyes as she says, "I remember my end, the shelling from the Royal Navy, I remember the hammering hits from Rodney and KGV, when my guns were out of action, I could sense Rodney closing to point blank range, and landing a torpedo hit on me." She stops to wipe her blue eyes as she continues, "I remember my crew getting off, then more torpedo hits, and I slipped below the waves."

I tilt my head to the side and ask, "Do all of you remember things like that?"

"Those of us that were constructed during wartime, yes, we remember bits of our fate. Eugen remembers seeing a plane fly overhead, then a great flash and heat, before rolling over and being face first in the sea bottom. You likely heard some of Tirpitz's memories last night, she was capsized in shallow water, and her keel was cut open to rescue survivors. But she remembers it, hearing the pleas of her crew for rescue." Bismarck tells me between sips of her coffee.

Leaning back in my chair I look off to the side as I ask, "Then why did she settle down so quickly?"

Bismarck shrugged and sipped coffee, "Either she reached the part of that memory where they were rescued or your warmth changed the dream to something more pleasant. Does that answer your question?"

My brow knits together and I shrug with a sigh, "I guess, I mean well, I'm still learning about kansen, I didn't know you all remember things like that."

"Only those of us that were actually constructed and served during wartime, not all memories are clear and vivid, some are more instinctual, like Scharnhorst for example, she has a deep hatred of the Royal Navy's Belfast, Jamaica, and Duke of York, the ships that played a major role in her sinking." Bismarck tells me as she slowly turns her mug around on the table before looking up at me and saying, "You are good for Tirpitz, and she seems to be good for you, but take your time with her, being sociable isn't her strong suit."

I raise an eyebrow and say, "Since when are you getting all big-sister-like over Tirpitz?"

Bismarck turned pink and looked off to the side as she said, "It's fairly new, and Erik suggested I try to be more sisterly to her, perhaps it will warm me to the idea of dealing with her." She pauses and looks at her left hand, more to the ring on it as she adds, "There is something I would like to ask her, but, considering our history, I am not sure if it would be well received or not."

Sipping my coffee I ask off-handedly, "What? Are you planning on asking her to be your maid of honor?"

Bismarck sat bolt upright, almost like she'd been hit by lighting, her cheeks going a deep red and she mumbled, "Perhaps, but I am unsure on how to broach that subject."

"Just ask her, what's the worst she'll say? No?" I mention while standing to grab a pastry off the counter and offer one to Bismarck.

"Yes, actually, I'm sure an affirmative would be more disastrous. As I'm sure it would rub Eugen the wrong way." Bismarck admits as she takes a bite of a Danish.

"Tirpitz is your sister though." I point out.

"A sister I have never been close with. Eugen has been my right hand for as long as I can remember, she helped me with Erik." Bismarck counters.

Fair point.

"Didn't you tell Erik you wished to mend the rift between you and Tirpitz? Wouldn't asking Eugen to do something that is this intensely personal would only widen the rift? Tirpitz already feels like you despise her and that is why you are always ordering her out to northern patrols so that she is out of your sight." I counter.

"She's not entirely wrong, it's not that I despise her, it's more that I don't know how to approach her, she was meant to share the weight of responsibilities I have to shoulder. But our first base commander kept us separate, and then the next did the same, and so on, and so on until Erik suggested I try to mend the fence so to speak." Bismarck admits while looking down at the table.

Holy shit, it's like a god damned soap opera.

Pinching the bridge of my nose and sighing, "So, she doesn't feel like she and approach you, because she thinks you hate her. You don't know how to approach her because you feel like she wouldn't give you the time of day outside of fleet business?"

"More or less." She admits.

Running a hand down my face I groan out, "Why not just try pub night again? This time don't make any comments that she could get offended by?"

"That could work, could I ask you to come as a buffer between myself and Tirpitz? I'll have Erik come to offer up the same role." She asks as she stands from the table and starts to walk towards the door.

Hanging my head I sigh, "Yeah."

Bismarck stops and turns to face me, her face still hard as stone but she says, "Perhaps I was wrong about you, North, I can see a glimmer of why Erik speaks so highly of you."

Forcing a smile on my face, "I'll take the win."

"As you should." She states while pausing to open the door as she adds, "I will be in touch about plans later."

"Right." I say with a nod as she exits my quarters, closing the door behind her and I hang my head with a heavy sigh, "Sisters."

XXXX

XXXX

While walking up the stairs to the second floor of the pun, I hear Tirptiz sigh in German, "Could you two, just get a room?"

Kind of glad I've been getting that language down now, I'm kind of curious about what's going on. Leaning around the corner I see Erik taking a hand off of the side of Bismarck's face. Bismarck was blushing and Tirpitz was seated, rolling her blue eyes at the both of them. If I had to guess, Erik and Bismarck were kissing in front of Tirpitz. I kept my distance as I watched Tirpitz poke at the pretzels on the table before bemoaning, "Why am I even here for this? I will not be made a fool again, sister."

Bismarck spotted me first and switched to English as she said, "You are here because I asked you to be here, sister."

Tirpitz pressed her lips together and snorted, "Why, so you can ask me to return to the north, again? So that I will not be around to witness your wedding?"

Bismarck looked down at the table and sighed, "If that is what you wish."

Tirpitz leans back and makes a noise of annoyance as she snaps, "Of course that is what you want me here for, to make it sound like it is my idea to be away."

"Tirpitz." Erik says with a sharp tone of voice.

"What? It is all she ever asks of me, to be away, or to make me the butt of a joke." Tirpitz counters.

I sigh and hang my head as I make my way over and try something else, "What if she wanted to try something different, this time?"

Tirpitz looks at me, her cheeks getting pink and she folds her arms under her boobs, I notice she's in my old navy shirt and she sighs before asking, "Fine, what was it you wanted to ask of me this time, sister?"

Bismarck balls her fists in her lap, but keeps looking at the table before standing, looking at me, and saying, "Perhaps it would be best if I went with that other option, excuse me." Before anyone can say anything, Bismarck stands and starts to head for the stairs. This time I look at Erik and make the head motion for him to follow.

Erik just shakes his head with a smirk, the act not lost on him that this very thing happened last time the four of us tried to have dinner here, together.

Once they were gone I sat down in Erik's spot and asked, "So, that was a wild night. Thanks for the coffee this morning."

Tirpitz looks down at the table, her cheeks bright pink still as she mumbles out a question, "Did anything happen last night? I know I was still dressed this morning, but, well…"

"Nothing happened, you fell asleep against my arm during the movie, I took you to bed, then I heard you having a nightmare, so I went and comforted you, and you then fell into a deep sleep." I admit while poking at Erik's pretzel.

"I see. I'm sorry I put you in that position, James." Tirpitz mumbles while brushing some hair behind an ear.

Picking a piece off of the pretzel I shrug and tell her, "It's fine, I'm still learning that we've all got damage of some kind."

After a moment she sighs, "I have a feeling I should've let my sister speak about why she wanted me here, tonight."

"Maybe, all I know is that she wants to ask you to do something important, but she's not sure how to do it." I say before popping some pretzel in my maw.

"What did she want to ask?" Tirptiz asks as she looks up.

"To be her maid of honor, Erik has already asked me to be his best man." I pause and add, "She's torn between the family aspect of asking you and the logical aspect of asking Eugen."

"I see." Tirpitz says, sounding down.

I reach over the table to touch her right hand as I say, "Look, no one is saying everything between the two of you needs to be fixed by one act, but maybe some of the damage can start to be repaired. I mean I know that previous commanders here had a hand in building this rift, but Erik is trying to help mend it."

"Is it an important role?" She asks me after a moment.

"Yeah, it's pretty important. Traditionally, it would be the maid of honor who would take the bride's place if she couldn't make it to the wedding, just like the best man would take the groom's place if he couldn't. But the more modern take is the maid is responsible for helping the bride making sure everything goes according to plan." I let her know as I pull another piece of the pretzel off.

"A better role for Eugen then, she knows my sister extremely well." Tirpitz sounds so sad.

"Maybe, but this could be the first step on the path you two need to switch to." I offer.

"I wouldn't know what to do." She bemoans.

"I will guide you." Bismarck says from the stairs, causing both myself and Tirpitz to look at her standing there. Bismarck pauses and folds her hands in front of her as she says, "I have not been the best sister to you, Tirpitz, but I would like to change that."

I squeeze Tirpitz's hand as I whisper, "Baby steps."

Tirpitz closed her blue eyes and took a deep breath before flicking some of her silver hair as she said, "Fine, I accept."

"It's a start." Erik says with a sigh from behind Bismarck before noticing the pretzel in front of me and adding, "Dude!"

I gesture to my plate as I say, "Take that one."

XXXX

XXXX

After a very awkward meal, I was walking with Tirpitz towards her quarters, she seemed kind of distant until we were almost in front of the door as she leaned over and kissed my cheek before saying, "Thank you, James."

"For?" I ask with a head tilt.

"For your hand in tonight." She tells me, moving to stand in front of me.

I reach over to touch her hands as I ask, "Are you going to be okay tonight?"

She went bright pink and avoided my eyes as she said, "I will be fine, but thank you for your concern."

Bobbing my head up and down I turn to leave as I say, "Well, good night then, Tirpitz, and if you want to talk at any time, you can call me no matter the time."

Looking over my shoulder I see her nod before turning and heading up the stairs into her quarters.

One day, one day I'm going to see inside them.

XXXX

When I got home and changed, I just crawled into bed, when my phone started to ring with a different ring, picking it up, I see it was a video call, I hit accept and on the other side of the screen, I see Tirpitz, laying in her bed. I can just see the top of a nightgown concealing the top of her bust, but not enough for it to be fully inside of it. She smiles at me and asks, "Would you mind talking to me as I drift off? I know your presence was calming to me last night, it kept the memory at bay."

I settle in and ask, "What do you want to hear?"

"Anything." She tells me, closing her blue eyes.

"Then how about the story of how I met Erik?" I ask.

Tirpitz yawns and nods, "Yes."

"Well, it all started about ten years ago…"

XXXX

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