AN: R&R my dearies!

Chapter 12

The walk back to the Dawn Treader was a quiet, depressing one. Each of us were absorbed deep in our thoughts, wondering about the journey that lie ahead.

Before we left, Coriakin fed us a nice hot meal and then wished us good luck. Easy for him to say. He had a huge mansion and magical powers to hide with.

The lucky bastard.

When we made it back to camp, we gathered our belongings and got set to sail again.

Well, the men did anyway. Lucy and I took Gael to our room on the ship and we all took a nap. Lucy and I woke up a couple hours later and dressed in clean clothes before we began talking quietly on the other side of the room, so as not to wake the exhausted child.

"Are you scared?" was the first words out of my mouth when we settled down on the floor.

"Yes," she admitted. "But I know we'll be okay."
I sighed. "I wish I knew what my "darkest dream" is. Then maybe I could prepare myself for whatever we face."

"I don't think anyone can prepare themselves to meet their worst nightmare," Lucy pointed out.

"I guess," I agreed glumly.

"Don't worry, Rose," she said kindly. "Have faith."

I nodded. "Right. Maybe we can use your cousin as a human sacrifice or something."

She stared at me in horror.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" I said quickly. "That would never work with Eustace. They'd give him right back and kill us all."

"Right . . ." she said slowly, trying to figure out I was kidding again or not. "Well, I know we can save all those people." She glanced over at Gael who was sleeping peacefully.

"Poor thing," I said softly. "Lu, do you ever miss your mom?"

She nodded. "All the time. What about you?"
"I didn't," I admitted. "I love her, but we never really got along that well. I do a little now that I've realized I could die at any time."

"No you won't," Lucy said fiercely. "We'd never let that happen. In case you didn't realize, we've all grown quite fond of you. Especially my brother," she teased.

I smiled, blushing. "So you're okay with it, right?"

"Well, yes, but what are you going to do if we all have to go to our own times?"
I felt myself go cold. I hadn't thought of that at all. I'd been so caught up in what was happening now I didn't spare a thought for the future. What would I do if this came to an end?

I stood up. "I need some air."

"I didn't mean to upset you," she said apologetically, standing as well. "But it's something you need to consider."

I bit my lip and nodded before turning around and leaving the room.

I barely had closed the cabin door behind me when Reep scampered over to me. "Glad you've finally woken up and decided to join us, Rose!"

I shrugged. "I'm a teenage girl. I need sleep and a lot of it."

Reep nodded knowingly. "Ah, yes. I'm sure staying up with the king must be very taxing."

I made a face. Was nothing a secret anymore?

"He was giving me sword lessons," I insisted. "I'm better than Eustace now."

"Hey!" I turned around and saw Eustace looking highly offended.

I grinned at him. "No offense."

"Whatever," he muttered.

I patted his head and walked past him. I was trying to make my way to the front of the ship but crew members kept stopping me to talk, including Gael's dad, Rhince.

"How is Gael doing?" he asked me.

"She's sleeping soundly," I assured him, which made him happy.

I finally made it to the front and I had just climbed over the railing to sit with my feet dangling over the water when a pair of arms wrapped around me from behind.

"I thought you'd be asleep the rest of the day," Edmund said in my ear.

"Damn it, how'd you find me?" I teased, leaning my head back against his chest.

"I was up at the steering wheel with Caspian and Drinian," he explained. "I saw you."

"Glad I'm more fun than they are," I said, closing my eyes in contentment. I could already feel myself drifting off to sleep.

"If you fall asleep I'll let you go," he said warningly.

My eyes flew open. "But I could fall if you do that."

I felt him shrug. "Oh well."
"Edddddd," I whined.

"You've been asleep for a while," he protested. "I'm bored!"

I swung my legs over the railing and turned to face him. "I didn't sleep well. I wasn't being held by you," I said, sticking my lower lip out into a pout. "We can't do that anymore like last night."

He paused for a moment as I wrapped my arms around his neck, giving him Bambi eyes.

"Plus . . . Lucy kicks."

Edmund let out a groan and let go of me, backing up a few steps.

"You're terrible," he told me, but he was laughing. I grinned wickedly and walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Seriously though, I slept great being held by you."

He leaned down and kissed me. It was slow and sweet. His lips perfectly molding against my own.

'What are you going to do if we all have to go to our own times?'

I abruptly pulled away, Lucy's words echoing inside my head.

"What's wrong?" Edmund asked, hurt reflecting on his face as I backed away.

I stopped and stared at him, trying to smother the lump rising in my throat.

"Rose?"

"What's going to happen if we win?" I blurted out.

He frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"When this is all over," I said, looking at him sadly, "what if we go back to our own time?"

Understanding dawned on him. He started shaking his head wildly. "No, that's—no. I won't leave. You can't leave. No."

"Ed, there's a chance it will happen," I said rationally. "I know I haven't known you long at all but I don't—" The lump came back. I took a deep breath. "I can't just . . . get close to you and then lose you forever."

"It's not going to happen," he said fiercely. "It won't." He started to walk. I thought he was going to storm past me but he stopped right in front of me.

He took a deep breath. "Every time I leave here, I feel this empty void. Every time I've left I have regretted it and wish I had stayed. Maybe this is the time when I'm meant to stay for good."

I shook my head. "Edmund, I can't make you leave your home for me, that's too much. I won't let you." I started to turn around to walk away, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

"Rose, I want to. Narnia is my home and I want you to be a part of it."

"And what about Lucy?" I demanded. "What about your brother and sister and your parents? Do you really want to give them up?"

He hesitated, some of the determination fading from his eyes. He looked down at the ground.

"See?" I said softly. "You can't just give them up for me."

When he didn't say anything, I took his hands in mine. "Look, I think you need to think on it before you make any promises."

"What about you?" he asked, looking up at me.

"I already know what I'm doing," I answered. I let go of his hands and began backing away. "I'm staying in Narnia."

I walked away, trying not to break down and cry.