"Katie… I-."
"What is it, Frankie?" Kate stopped walking down the sidewalk in North Holland and glanced into the store window to her side. His tone wasn't one she recognized, and it tripped her heart into overdrive. Her plan of visiting her therapist momentarily forgotten as the silence dragged out on the phone call. Cautiously she removed the phone from her ear to make sure the call hadn't dropped.
"Frankie? Is everything okay? Is this about Gerry's arrest?" Her head throbbed against the heat of the bright morning sun and the slight hangover that would not let her go. She had silently cried herself back to sleep in Derrick's arms and the conversation with their Ma hadn't gone exactly as planned. Their family was slowly falling apart, and she couldn't take another hit.
"I don't know how to tell you... I'm so sorry. Derrick's dead."
The world had to have stopped spinning. Her chest squeezed painfully, the air was suffocatingly hot, and her body went numb. She half stumbled; half tripped over her own feet into the cold interior of the clothing store and made a direct path to the restrooms in the back. People's eyes felt like daggers against her exposed skin, and she jerked her lightweight cardigan up her arms and had it almost over her shoulders before she bolted into the restroom, dropping to her knees once the door closed off the reality around her.
"No. No! Frankie… That can't be! I was just-" The sob ripped from her throat, and she slumped back against the closed door of the restroom. The cold tiled floor was filthy, but she couldn't pay it any mind. She buried her face into her free hand and shut her eyes tightly. 'This can't be happening. I was just talking to him!'
"I'm waiting on the Medical Examiner to get here. I. I need someone to be a second person to identify the body."
"You have to be fucking kidding me!" Kate's voice strained as the words kept spinning around her. Derrick is dead. Derrick is gone. Derrick will no longer be passed out in the backyard or on the living room couch. The panic attack was forming and for once she didn't fight it. The shaking started in her hands, the surrounding lights in the dingey bathroom bled together behind her closed eyelids, and the air became thick and toxic.
"Katie. You want Ma to do this? Or Packie? I can call one of them."
"No!" Sluggishly she sucked in air and tried to find her way back to her body. His voice was so distant, and she blearily opened her eyes to see that she had dropped the phone at some point. Her fingers dug into the sides of an unruly ponytail and squeezed down over her ears to try and stave off the migraine that was forming. Time was no longer a measurable, tangible thing. The only thing she could hear was her rapid breathing that sounded haggard and foreign coming from her.
"Kate? Katie? Answer me! Please!"
Tears obscured her vision as it tunneled greatly. Her head thumped back on the metal door as the restroom stalls swayed before her. There was a dull pounding that started in her ears before harsh static drowned out her brother's voice. Her fingers numbly reached for her face to figure out what was damp against her skin. Tears. Her tears. At some point she had started to inaudibly cry. A buzzing sound tried to reach her through the white noise, but she ignored it.
Here in the dirty, nasty, public restroom of some random clothing store in Holland, Kate lost a piece of herself. Her soul fractured and she hugged herself to try and keep the pieces from falling away from her.
She would allow herself a moment to mourn, then it would need to be hidden deep down and closed off from the rest of her family. She would need to be strong for Packie. She would need to be resilient for her Ma. She would need to keep it together and put on a brave face for the world that waited on the other side of a metal door.
'I've been too emotional around them all lately. No more… I can't keep pouring my heart out to people who don't return it to me…'
Slowly she regained control of her body and wiped the tear streaks from her cheeks. Her hands stilled and tingled as warmth returned to them, and she pulled her hair tie loose from her bun. Her bones popped and cracked as she pulled herself up from the floor. Her feet still trembled under her weight as she moved to the counter and splintered mirror. Her reflection caused her to pause- Pale skin, bloodshot eyes, wild reddish-brown hair sticking out in different directions- 'No wonder Niko hasn't made a move…'
Anger burned through her, and she harshly combed her fingers through her hair to pull it back into her signature bun, wishing she had taken the time to style it instead of just rushing out the door once her therapist confirmed her appointment. Not that she was going to be making it; She had a body to identify. The bitter taste in her mouth caused her to gag and she twisted the sink knobs to get some water running. The cold water was a welcomed relief to her flushed skin, and she greedily cupped her hands and splashed handfuls of the water to her face.
The buzzing started up again and she blindly reached for a paper towel to dry her face and hands. Wadding up the damp paper she turned to find the source of the buzzing and spotted her phone slowly moving on the floor as a phone call kept ringing. She chucked the used paper towel into the trashcan and picked up her phone just as the call went to her voicemail. Wearily she flipped to her call log and saw eight missed calls from Francis and six from Packie. Letting out a huff she went to call Francis back.
"Katie? Thank God you answered. I was about to get cyber to trace your cell and come looking."
"I'm fine. Where do I need to meet you?" She leaned back into the counter and felt her emotions retreating away from her. She would lock it all away till she could find the time to sort through everything. It would be the only way to survive seeing her dead brother and planning out a funeral. Lord only knew how Ma would be. He would need to be buried quickly and the church contacted as soon as possible. 'Don't let the shock wear off before being six feet under…'
"You sure? I called Packie. He said he would start looking for you. I... Well- Only if you are sure you are up for it." There was a hesitation in her brother's voice, and she narrowed her eyes at his sudden change of heart. Was he not the one who called her first?!
"I'm good. Where is he being taken?" Her voice didn't even sound like herself, and she rubbed over her heart as the pain pressed against her ribcage.
"Westminster basement morgue. The Doc will take good care of him. I'll be there waiting for you."
"See you soon. I'm in North Holland. I'll take the subway down there." She hung up before she could listen to the retort he started. She backed out to her call log and dialed Packie's number knowing he would just keep calling till she answered him.
The dial tone only lasted a split-second before he picked up, "Kate? God. I'm so sorry! I just heard from Francis. Fucking bastard. Couldn't come tell us about Gerry but he sure as hell can shout his good news in our faces!" The lividity was not hard to miss in his voice.
"Patrick. I know. It must have just happened." She swallowed down her emotions and clung to the void that enveloped her, "He needs me to be the second person to identify Derrick. I'm on my way there now. Can you tell Ma? I'll be home as soon as I can."
"Katie! Let me do it. You don't have to do that. Let me be the big brother for once." His voice wavered only slightly, and she could hear him take a long breath.
"I'm going to do it. Derrick will need to be laid to rest soon. I don't like the idea of him lying in some freezer in a basement in Westminster. Be there for Ma till I get home." She clicked the end call button forcefully. She would go through the motions and do what she always did- carry the McReary family through the storm. For once the chill that settled down into her skin didn't feel scary, and she welcomed it wholeheartedly.
She clicked the power button on her phone and tucked it down into the back pocket of her jeans. Stiffly she reached the metal door of the restroom and sucked in a deep, fortifying breath. She could do this; she could hide her pain and fall back on her defenses. A part of her soul cried out at the injustice of it all. She had been opening up and displaying her feelings with Niko and getting back to what her therapist coined as normal. But no more. The pain was too much to bear.
The entire walk to the subway was like a blink of an eye. Her body moved on autopilot as she weaved between other pedestrians and waited at crosswalks. People's faces all looked the same and she worked to keep her eyes trained anywhere but on the curious looks that were sent her way. The ambiance of the city floated around her and didn't bother with interrupting her thoughts or mission on getting down to the police station. Internally she knew the closest subway station would be Frankfort and it was a decent walk to get to it. The line lopped back around toward Suffolk and Westminster. 'It should also be fairly empty at this hour now that everyone should be at work…'
Catcalls and whistles never reached her ears as she trudged onward to the subway station. It was always better to just ignore the men who jokingly called out to her and keep moving. Her brothers all warned her to stay away from certain spots and to never be out late at night unaccompanied. She could roll her eyes at all the speeches that Packie droned on about how men only wanted one thing from her, and she was not allowed to give it to them.
A hand grabbed her upper arm roughly and hauled her around, slamming her back into the brick exterior of a building, "I am talking to you sweetheart!"
Putrid smelling stale alcohol and cigarette smoke assaulted her nose and she flinched back into the wall at the nearness of a man's face. The clothes were faded and worn down in places and looked to be in serious need of a good washing. Everything looked dirty except for the black and white leather jacket that hung from his shoulders. The face held deep shadows under his brown eyes, and his nose rested above overgrown, thick facial hair. His hand firming on her arm sent a warning signal to every corner of her brain and the fight or flight feelings kicked into gear.
"Let go of me right this instance!" Kate stomped on the smelly man's foot and jerked her arm free of his newly weakened grasp. She shoved him back from her personal space and took off for the street corner.
"We not done talking! Come back here!" She didn't bother to look over her shoulder as she searched the street for a taxi or patrolling cop. Holland wasn't exactly the most protected part of the city.
Tires screeched to a stop in front of her and the passenger side window rolled down on a black Cavalcade, "Hey! Drunken lady from last night- hop in!"
Kate didn't question it for one second and jerked the back passenger side open and climbed in, rapidly shutting the door behind her. The car took off before she could even buckle her seat belt and she nearly fell out of her seat with the forward velocity.
"Has no one told you this isn't the best part of town? Figured that lame ass booty call of yours would have at least warned you about wandering around the projects." The man's gruff and haughty voice grated against her nerves, and she racked her brain for where she had heard him before or seen him. Everything was so fuzzy when it came to this taxi driver, and she hesitantly buckled the seatbelt into the holder.
"Whatever. Niko will owe me for this. Where to?" He glanced in the rearview mirror and set his glare in her direction.
"Niko?" Her nose was burning, and she rubbed at it to alleviate the sting.
"Yes! Are you dumb woman? Honestly! Sometimes I wonder how that man even survives in this city!" He took the turn on Frankfort sharply and caused Kate to almost smack into the window.
Her wrists stung from having to brace herself against the door and she glared in the direction of the driver before rubbing at her nose again, "I'm sorry. I need to go to the Westminster Police Station." Kate felt something wet against her fingers and internally groaned. 'Great. I got a gigantic booger on my hand and nothing to wipe it away with in this rather nice looking taxi!'
"Shit. Here. He must've roughed you up some." The Middle Eastern sounding man opened the glove box and pulled out a box of tissues and held it out for her to take.
"Thanks?" Kate took the box and pulled a couple loose from the top and wiped at her hand, noticing the bright red splotches. 'A bloody nose?!' Her eyes widen as she placed a clean tissue to her nose, and it came away with more blood.
"Don't mention it. Going to report that jackass? He deserves it. Though you should probably tell that boyfriend of yours too. He doesn't strike me as the forgiving type." He watched her clean her nose before going back to focusing on the traffic. It had been sheer luck that he recognized the red hair of the woman that Niko had taken home last night.
"Boyfriend?" Kate glanced to him before going to grab another tissue to change it out with the soaked one that she had ungracefully shoved up her nostril. A sticker caught her attention on the side of the tissue box, and she turned it over in her hand to get a better look. 'Roman's Taxi Service – division of Bellic Enterprises' was scrawled along the edges of the circular sticker with an image of a fleet of black Cavalcades. "Wait. You work for Roman Bellic right?"
"That is correct. He is my boss. Finally coming back to you? You were beyond tossed last night." He stopped at a red light and twisted around to see how she was doing, "I do sincerely apologize for my remarks last night. Niko had every right to defend you. I can take you to a hospital instead? If you hit your head, it could be any number of injuries."
"I tend to not remember when I drink too much. I'm sorry. What's your name?" Kate bunched up a couple of tissues and titled her head back into the seat to try and stop the bleeding.
"Mohammed."
The name caused a couple of quick flashes of the interior of the vehicle to flick across her memory- Holding hands with Niko, listening to a haughty voice mouth off about booty calls, Niko lurching forward to wrap his arm around the driver and his voice dropping into a cold tone that caused her body to develop goosebumps. As quickly as the images came to her, they fled back to the recesses of her mind.
"Right. Thank you for showing up when you did. I wasn't paying attention." She leaned into the window and stared at the passing buildings as they took off once more toward Westminster.
"It's alright. Everything okay?" He wasn't really sure why he bothered to carry on a conversation with the woman from last night. Maybe it was the absolute berating he got from Roman this morning about respect and being the face of the company and putting his best foot forward. Or maybe it was the way Niko had looked at her that caused him to realize how important she was to the Bellic family.
"Yeah." Kate sighed heavily and forced the jumbled mass of emotions away. She could deal with her close call later. Right now, she needed to focus on breathing and getting prepared to see her dead brother. She tried to ignore the man who kept talking from the front seat, but he kept pressing her with question after question and her irritation was reaching the boiling point.
"Well. You don't seem okay to me. I'm going to call Roman to get ahold of Niko." Mohammed reached for the radio transponder before Kate's hand grabbed hold of his wrist.
"My brother was killed this morning. I am on my way to identify his body. I would appreciate it if you just left well enough alone, okay?" She sniffled around the wad of tissues pressed to her nose and released his wrist, flopping back into her seat. "I don't need pity or sympathy right now." She whispered as she tried to get comfortable in her seat before having to face the inevitable task before her.
"Forgive me. I am sorry for your loss. We will be there in a couple of minutes." Mohammed turned back towards traffic and let the quietness settle over them, before he felt too weird and turned on the radio, dialing it over to The Vibe 98.8. He watched a brief smile cross her lips before falling back into the sad expression that seemed etched on her face.
The drive really didn't take as long as she wanted as they pulled up into the halfmoon driveway of the Westminster Police station. She stared at the dreary façade of the building and sighed heavily. She had reached her destination and only needed to get through the next couple of minutes before she could head home and lock herself in her room for the rest of the day. Solitude sounded beyond good to her. Rustling from the front seat greeted her ears and she snapped out of her thoughts.
"What do I owe you? I have some cash on me." She turned to look at the man she couldn't remember from last night and who had somehow been in the right place at the right time in order to whisk her away from danger.
"Don't worry. This is on me. Here," He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a business card, "Anytime you find yourself in need of a ride or need an excuse to leave an area, text or call this number. I'll drop my fare and come get you."
Kate took the slightly bent cardstock card and glanced over the name and number, "Thank you. Really. I promise to pay anytime I do need your services." She smiled for him and tried to imagine she didn't look too bad with the bloody nose and messy hair.
"For all of his roughness, Niko isn't all that bad. Freeloader for sure. But Roman vouches to the ends of the universe for him. See you around!" He nodded at her and turned back toward the windshield to give her a minute to compose herself and leave the vehicle.
She felt the smile that wanted out at the mention of Niko, but the depressing thoughts of her brother laying on an autopsy table a few feet away drowned whatever happiness wanted to lift her up. She glanced out the window one more time and for the first time that morning she noticed the dark gray clouds that started to billow in overhead. 'Great. Rain and I have no umbrella…'
"Thanks Mohammed. I will be sure to remember you next time." She pocketed the card and opened the door. The heat of the sun slammed against her body, and she felt like coughing. It was like opening the oven door and sticking her face inside. There was a static charge to the air, and she knew a bad storm was brewing and would hopefully hold off till she got back home. Silently she closed the passenger door and waved to him once before the vehicle drove off to find a new fare.
"Just hold it together for a little bit longer…" Kate sighed and headed toward the front entrance to her brother's station. Police officers snapped their eyes in different directions once they recognized her and it only added to the anger and pain that thrashed around just below the surface. She was given a rather wide berth and she felt the twitch of her eye as the outburst grew in her chest. Could they not act that way? Could they not be decent humans and leave things alone?! They usually ignored her family, so why did they bother to react to her now?
In her anger she jerked the door open and felt the cold air rush out toward her from the ac units that were working overtime to get the building to a comfortable temperature. All action inside the lobby stilled with her arrival. Even the radio reports must have known about the somber atmosphere as nothing came over the airwaves. Mitch looked up from the computer monitor and paled significantly when his eyes landed on her.
"Kate?" Ron moved out from the entrance to the locker rooms and hastily wiped at his face, "What are you doing here?"
Kate turned her attention to Francis' detective and felt her insides squeeze painfully tight. Blood was splattered over the front of his patrol uniform and looked to have saturated the navy cloth. His face had a decent smear along his jaw line and his hands were caked in dried blood. She felt the tremble want to form along her body and she locked her knees to keep from visibly showing any kind of reaction to the sight of him.
"I? Francis called me to identify my…" Her voice died and she felt like slapping herself. She gulped down the sandy texture that developed in her mouth and tried again, "Derrick. I need to see him." She forced her eyes to not leave Ron's face. She would not show weakness in front of everyone she adored at the police station. Mitch, Jimmy, Ron… The list went on and on and she glanced around the lobby to see that they all stood around, hats removed, and eyes cast downward.
"Okay. I'll take you down." Ron nodded slowly and held his hand out to her, "Sign her in Mitch. I'll stay with her."
"Thank you." She shuffled closer to him and refused to take his hand. It wasn't that long ago that he was standing in the living room telling them about Gerry's arrest. A renewed anger at Francis pressed against her lungs and she rubbed at her chest to loosen up the knot that had formed. Silently she followed after Ron down the hallway that led to the locker rooms and an elevator. They entered the open doors of the lift and waited for the doors to close.
"I'm sorry for your loss." Ron whispered as the elevator gave a small jolt before descending down to the basement levels of the police station.
"You'd be the only one here. No one cares about the McReary's." She huffed softly and stared blankly ahead of her at the distorted reflection from the metal walls.
"That's not true. A life lost is still a life lost. No one likes to answer those calls." Ron glanced to her at his side and longed to be able to take her pain away. His boss had called him frantically about a shooting and someone being dead. When he arrived at the scene, he knew instantly it wasn't good. He had never heard his boss breakdown or get emotional. Angry and pissed off sure. But painfilled cries? Never. He had dropped down to his knees at his boss's side and tried to pry the dead body of the oldest McReary from his arms.
"I'm sure some of the cops are dancing in the streets at one less criminal stalking around." Kate forced the words out and tried to keep her voice from sounding spiteful. Her eyes burned with the tears that begged to be set free. She knew of the hate that was directed at her family. She wasn't completely ignorant of the way things worked. Francis may be the second in command of the LCPD, but that didn't stop the glares that were sent his direction.
"Don't say that!" Ron pressed the emergency stop button and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to turn to face him. He studied her face and then noticed the pale red streaks under her nose, the puffy eyes from crying, and the wild curls that were barely held back in the ponytail. He looked further down and noticed that her sweater was pulled down on one of her shoulders and was torn along the seam. Her eyes were trained on his shoes, and he cupped her cheek and tilted her face up to his. "What happened? Did someone do this to you?"
"It's nothing." Kate flinched out of his hold and moved her ripped sweater back over her body to lay right. Her nose felt wet again and she wiped the bloodied tissues against the feeling. The last thing she wanted to have happen was for her resolve to break under the caring nature of Ron. She was fine. She could get through the next few hours without crying or having a panic attack.
"It's not nothing. Tell me." He once more reached out and cupped both of her cheeks and tilted her back up to him. He could see the fear, pain, and sorrow build in her eyes before it went completely blank on him.
"Just stop. I didn't handle the news from Francis well. I stumbled into the nearest bathroom. That's all." She hardened her eyes in the dim emergency lights of the stopped elevator. Why he felt the need to get involved in her feelings and life rubbed her the wrong way. What did he care what happened to her family? Or her? He had stood there completely indifferent as he listed the charges brought against Gerry. The feel of the dried blood on his hands felt like a million tiny little needles sinking down into her skin, and she moved back out of his hold, backing into the metal wall of the elevator.
"If you say so. Yesterday you told me you would care if I died. The same goes for you and your family. I care. Do you understand me?" He dragged his hands over the cloth of his uniform pants knowing he had just smudged some of her brother's blood on her face. He hadn't had time to change and would need to hand over the soiled clothing to their forensics expert for analysis. He had been at the scene of the crime and would surrender whatever they deemed as evidence.
Kate reached over and released the emergency stop button to get the elevator back to moving. She didn't want to listen to him any longer. Didn't want to give in to the sympathy he was offering, or the comfort of his words. She wanted to shove it all away and just be alone. 'Since when has he ever been interested? He- He has no right!'
A distorted image of Niko looking down into her eyes, resting his forehead to hers, strong fingers stroking over her cheeks- or was it her cupping his face? The images all bled together and the comfort that rose inside her gave her a sense of calm. There was something she was missing, and her subconscious was trying to nudge the memories back together. Something had triggered her more guarded feelings to protect her momentarily.
The doors dinged before sliding open to the frigid autopsy floor. Francis rested on a stool by the only occupied table in the room. A bloodied white sheet was draped over a lonesome figure. Kate clenched her hands into fists to hide the shaking. She would not show her fear in front of Ron or her brother. She would walk over to the table and take one last look at Derrick before fleeing the building and running to the subway station to get home. To the refuge of her bedroom.
"Come on. It's okay. He's resting now." Ron pulled her into a side hug and moved her into the darkened room. The only lights that were on were the ones above the body, creating the illusion of a halo of light around the sheet.
Kate gave in and returned the hug to find the strength to walk forward. Her legs wanted to quit on her. Her heart pounded away in her chest. The inner dialog went unusually silent on her as they slowly approached Francis and the table. With every step her feet grew numb, and she stumbled slightly as they got within arm's reach of Francis, Ron hauling her upright against him. The noise must have alerted Francis as his head jerked upright and turned to the side to see them.
"Katie. I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do…" He shakily slid off the metal stool and turned to face her. "Thank you, Ron. You can head back upstairs and change. They will need your clothes soon."
"Sure thing boss. Again. I'm sorry for your loss. It's a sad day in Liberty." Ron grabbed Kate's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before turning back toward the elevators and disappearing behind the metal doors.
"Frankie." Kate couldn't remove her eyes from where she could see the bridge of Derrick's nose. Everything felt so wrong. So surreal. 'This has to be a dream. This isn't happening…'
"Katie. Someone shot him right in front of me. I had called him up to meet. Just like I told you. And in the middle of our conversation…" He tugged her into his chest and held her tightly. Yes, he had issues with Derrick but never once thought he would feel this way. Something had broken inside of him as Derrick slumped over on the ground, blood freely flowing from the through and though gun shot that had ripped through his head. He had seen death plenty at various crime scenes. But this took the cake.
"It's okay. You were there for him. You were trying to help." Kate started to hyperventilate. Derrick was laying there so still. Unmoving. No rise and fall of the chest as air came and went. No shaking from his hands that usually started as he came down off of a high. He had been sober from the moment he got home last night, and they spoke out in the backyard. She could barely remember what all was said between them. Things would come and go in her memory. She remembered fighting with Packie, or was it more of a one-sided argument, she couldn't determine.
And then after finding out about Gerry, he had stayed at her side and allowed her to sleep on his shoulder. Now he was gone, and there would be no more chances to get to know him…
"Yeah…" Francis ran his hand over her hair and forced the lie out between his lips. No, he wasn't helping him in any sense of the word. He had set him up for slaughter and had witnessed it in the front row. He had been so close that he even felt the wind whistle as the bullet carried on its trajectory through Derrick's head. His clothes were still soaked with the precious blood of his brother.
"Can I see him?" Kate couldn't stop looking at the figure below the sheet. She needed to see him. To know that what was happening was real and this wasn't some kind of sick joke the universe was playing on her.
"He is... It will need to be a closed casket." Francis gulped and turned to look back down at his brother where the headshot was still turning the white sheet red. He dropped his chin to the top of Kate's head and let out a shaky breath. It was a mistake calling his sister to come identify Derrick. He knew better. While Packie would have been less cordial to be around, at least it would have spared Kate from the mental damage seeing a dead loved one would have wrought.
"Is he at least… Does he look like Derrick?" Kate trembled under Francis' hold at the thought of his face being mangled beyond recognition. 'Frankie did say he needed a second person to identify him…'
"My dear. His face is peaceful, as is his soul. I can work my magic if you want an open casket, Francis. Nothing is beyond my skill." The doctor walked into the ring of light that glowed over the body of Derrick. He studied the two living McReary members and could feel their pain. This part of the job never got easier, and he longed to get past it and get back to work.
"Hey doc. Long time no see. Wish it were under better circumstances." Kate greeted the older man that she had grown to love as a fatherly figure over the years of meeting Francis at the station. He was a gentle old soul and brought a tranquility to the space he occupied.
"Ah yes. When you are ready, I can remove the sheet. There is no rush." He stood on one side of the metal table close to the head and waited for either Francis or Kate to tell him to pull back the sheet. "I will warn you. I have not started the autopsy and his wounds are still fresh."
"That's okay. He isn't in his body anymore." Kate whispered and shifted out of Francis' arms to move toward the opposite side of the table from the doctor. It was now or never, and she held her breath as the seconds stretched on before her.
"Yes, my dear. He has left for a better place." The doc softened his voice and nodded at her words.
Francis moved to stand behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders in silent support. He knew what Derrick looked like and he sorely wished it were Patrick instead of Kate having to identify the body. His sister had been through enough in her life and this would surely shove her over the edge of what she could handle. He knew she put on a brave smile to face the world and he felt responsible for the fake personality that she gave everyone around her. He knew the real Kate. And she was locked away from them all.
"I-I'm ready doc." Kate focused on the peak where she knew his nose was and waited for the sheet to reveal him to her. Her lungs burned as she kept the breath held in. Her whole body clenched in anticipation of what she was going to see and how bad it would affect her. 'Please just be resting peacefully…'
The doc reached out and gradually lowered the sheet down toward the chest. Derrick's eyes were closed and it relieved Kate to not have to see the blank look that would have taken over his eyes. But once her gaze landed on the bullet hole in his forehead her body jerked back into Francis' body. Her eyes tried to snap away from the wound to another place on his head and landed on the large open wound on the side of his head. She spun around out of Francis' hold and dashed over to the sink in the corner of the room and emptied the contents of her stomach from the breakfast she had shared with Derrick that morning. Her body retched as the image continued to haunt her sight.
"Go comfort her. I will need your clothes soon as well. I will get started once you two leave the room." The doc spoke softly to Francis, covering the bullet hole with a surgical pad. He pressed the tapped sides down to keep the wound hidden and went to move the sheet back over Derrick's head.
"Wait! Wait." Kate coughed harshly and turned on the water to wash her face and hands. She sucked in shaky breaths and willed her stomach to settle. She hadn't been prepared to see the killing blow and it knocked what strength she had from her body. On trembling feet, she forced herself back over to the table and stared at the lifeless expression on her brother's face. Carefully she reached out to place her hand over the pad on his forehead but hesitated and looked to the doc for permission.
"You can say your goodbyes dear. I'll give you two a moment." With a slower gait, the doc moved back over to the desk in the corner of the room where a computer monitor glowed. He would allow her a moment to say what she needed to say.
"Francis? Who did this?" Kate lowered her hand to the cold forehead of her eldest brother, trying to ignore the soft padding that hid the bullet hole. The absence of warmth from his skin was unsettling.
"I don't know. The response crime scene team is canvasing the area now for shell casings and a location of where the shot came from." Francis once more lied to his sister. He knew exactly where Niko had taken position to pull the trigger. 'Thankfully, the rifling of the round should match several other unsolved crimes in the area since the sniper he used was one I stashed in the drop car…'
"You will catch them, right? Bring justice to our family?" She gently stroked over Derrick's hairs that were uncontrollably sticking in every direction. She laid his hair flat and tried to picture how he looked sitting at the kitchen table with her and Ma as they laughed about some lame joke Packie had made to lighten the mood about Gerry.
"You have my word." He cringed at his statement. There would be no solving this case. Not unless he could pin the murder on some other low life scum. Just keep shifting the blame to other people and bury the misdeeds he made. He knew how to do it well and he would fall back on old habits one last time… Then he would be done. He was getting tired of the constant looking over his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Derrick that we didn't get the time we longed for. I will miss you. Watch over us, will you?" Kate whispered as tears blurred her eyesight. She leaned forward and closed her eyes as the tears threatened to fall, resting her hands on the edge of the metal table, "I know- I can somewhat remember. I would've loved for you to walk me down the aisle." She whispered through labored breaths. Blindly she reached out under the sheet and grabbed his hand. "Goodbye Derrick."
A ringtone blared in the quiet space and caused both Kate and Francis to jump. Kate glared at her brother as she knew her phone was turned off. She had been internally saying her goodbyes and was pissed at the rude interruption. Could he not have turned his phone to vibrate while in the presence of their deceased brother?!
"Sorry." Francis fished his cell phone out of his pocket and felt dread slide over him as Niko's name flashed on the caller ID, "I got to take this. Might be a lead on the shooter. Be right back Kate." Quickly he turned on his heel and headed for a private viewing room off the main room and closed the door behind him, twisting the lock into place. He did not need unwelcomed ears overhearing whatever was about to be said.
'Might as well get this over with…' Letting out a heavy sigh he answered the call and placed the phone up to his ear.
"I did what you wanted me to do, I killed your brother." Niko's voice was cold and devoid of emotion, and it scared Francis for the first time since meeting him.
"You don't think I know that. Christ, it happened right in front of me. I could feel you looking at me through that scope." It was true. His ears had burned every second he continued to conversate with Derrick, and he felt like a sitting duck, about to be picked off.
"Well, it's done. You and me are over. At least Gerry and Packie are honest about what they do. You're a crook hiding behind his badge and a reputation. You know what, Frankie boy- I'm going to use that. I ever feel the heat on me, I'll call you. And you're going to make shit go away. That cool?" Niko's tempo never wavered as he berated him for all his flaws. Francis could do nothing but listen as Niko cornered him.
"Sounds like I don't have a choice." It was how he felt. He owed Niko more than just his life at this point. He lowered down into one of the cushioned chairs in the viewing room and scrubbed a hand through his hair, scrunching his face up at the feel of the dried blood on his hands.
"You don't. And if you knew what was good for you- you'd keep Kate and Packie from knowing. And if I catch wind that you let it slip, I was the one responsible, I will not hesitate to do what Derrick asked of me." The chill that stabbed his spine forced him to sit upright in the chair.
"What did Derrick ask of you?" Francis felt like he knew or had a good guess at it.
"I do not miss my intended target." Niko ended the call and left Francis sitting in cruel, crushing silence.
"It really was him or me back there…" Francis whispered out and dropped the phone to his lap, burying his face into his hands. He had come within a foot of dying and had been so unashamedly cocky about it being Derrick and not him. Had he really believed that Niko would not have turned on him? Sure he was sitting there now, breathing life into his own body, while Derrick rested on a cold autopsy table, but how close had it really been? Now he was indebted to the man who had stricken his brother from this world.
"And Cain was left to wander the Earth; a restless wanderer… Marked for his crime." Francis recalled the biblical story that Derrick used to reference when it came to the two of them.
He slid his hands off his face and wearily looked out the blinds of the large viewing window to where Kate had taken his stool to speak to Derrick's dead form. She would never be allowed to know the truth. It would take the last bit of life from her to know her own blood had killed another. Their family ran the gauntlet of messed up, but to have carried out the killing blow? Even Pa never went that far. And Pa's level of sick was one Francis didn't like to dwell on.
He sighed one more time and figured he might as well go join her side in saying his goodbyes. Even if his apologies fell on deaf ears.
Francis felt like he was being dragged down by lead weights as he stood up from the chair and made his way out of the private room to rejoin Kate by Derrick's side. He could see her mouthing silent words, eyes closed, and head slightly bowed in prayer. He kept a short distance and let her finish, not wanting to disturb her in the solace act of saying her final words. In a messed-up way, he was glad she was there to say the words he would be unable to articulate.
"Frankie? Has Father Mark been notified? Derrick will need last rites read before an autopsy is performed." She had heard him approach and felt a small tug at the corner of her lips when he let her have a moment to finish up. It had been peaceful getting to whisper out all the things she enjoyed about her brother, about all the good times they shared, and how she would miss getting those brief moments in the backyard of guidance and understanding. Out of all her brothers, Derrick understood her the most.
"I will call him after you leave. That way Ma won't have to do it." Francis gulped at the thought of Ma having to plan a funeral all by herself, "Are you going to help Ma with the planning? She won't handle it very well. A mother should never have to bury a child…"
"I was going to help as much as I can. But you know Ma. She tends to be a control freak when it comes to certain things. Religion, funerals, weddings… God poor Gerry. I always thought the weddings would've been called off long before they made it to the alter. Each woman couldn't stand Ma sticking her nose into the wedding planning." Kate rolled her eyes and slid off the stool. She felt somewhat lighter now that she had been given the chance to properly say goodbye.
Francis grimaced at the mention of Gerry, "Yeah that's Ma for you. One reason I will never get married. That headache is one I will put off for the rest of my life."
"She had the audacity to tell me to hurry up and have grandchildren last night! In front of Derrick! I about fell off the lawn chair." Kate shook her head and held her arms around her body. It was a sobering thought. That the last conversation she had with Derrick was nothing but a few pieces that weren't strung together in her memory. Her mother's voice had broken through some of the blank spaces and Derrick's laugh had snapped an image or two together.
"Jesus. And here I thought you weren't seriously into anyone." Francis scoffed at the thought of Kate having babies. He wasn't ready to be an uncle at all. And the thought of her attention being in the direction of Niko caused his stomach to knot up intensely.
"Wipe that look off your face. I'm not seeing anyone. And I'm in no hurry to bring a child into this fucked up family." Kate tucked her hair behind her ears that had slipped free from the ponytail. Although… If she thought hard enough about it, the idea of settling down with someone didn't sound all that horrible. What she could remember from the talks she had with Niko before getting to the downing of alcohol in Steinway had left her thinking that there could be something more between them.
"Sorry. Just weird thinking about marriage and newborns while in the same room as our recently lost brother…" He glanced to the resting body of Derrick and held his hand out to Kate, "Come on. Let me walk you out of the station. I'm sure you are ready to get home."
The elevator doors dinged, and angry shouting echoed behind the metal doors before they slid open. Kate and Francis turned to see who was interrupting them; Kate hastily swiping against the tear stains and evidence that she had been crying, placing her mask back over her face not wanting to show anyone just how badly she was hurting on the inside. Francis had seen enough, and she was not about to let other police officers see her emotions.
"I don't need an ESCORT!" Packie yelled outraged that he had been followed and directed around like a lost child.
"And I say you do! There are protocols at this station, and you will abide by them!" Mitt yelled back and shoved Packie's hand off of his chest where he had grabbed a fistful of his uniform.
"Jesus Patrick! You just assaulted the Commissioner of Police!" Francis yelled panicked at what he was seeing. He was already worried about what was to befall him over the death of his brother from the LCPD and now his youngest brother was yelling and attacking his direct boss.
"Well maybe he should learn some damn manners!" Packie stalked into the autopsy room and glared over his shoulder at the man who had been rude and stuffy with him from the moment he had entered the blasted police station. Once his eyes landed on the uncovered face of his brother, the color drained from his face and halted his progress into the room.
"Deputy. A word." Mitt motioned to Francis to enter the elevator and to not question his order.
"Yes boss. Kate keep Packie in line till I get back. Or have the doc escort you two back to the lobby. If you leave before I get a chance to say goodbye, please let me know what Ma wants to do for a funeral. I'm sure it'll be quick and rushed. She doesn't waste any time in getting people to their final resting place." Francis placed his hand on his sister's shoulder and gave it a loving squeeze. He frowned when she flinched against his touch.
"Today, Deputy!" Mitt barked from the open elevator.
"Coming boss!" Francis sent Packie a heated glare before heading off to the elevator to figure out what he was in trouble for now.
"Shit. Derrick. You're not looking too good there." Packie breathed out and moved to stand at Kate's side.
"He is in a better place now Packie. At least- At least I pray he is. He didn't deserve to suffer the way he did." Kate didn't bother to look to her brother as she kept memorizing the way Derrick's face looked. It would be bittersweet leaving, but it was for the best. Derrick needed to be prepared for getting to his final resting place back in Steinway, at the family plot in the graveyard.
"Hey. Don't think too much on it. He's probably laughing at us now with how mopey we all are." He hesitated before looping his arm around Kate's shoulders. He could see the signs of her shutting herself down and didn't want her to go too far. He would need her help to keep their Ma together. He hadn't told her yet and only took off from the house once Francis had told him what was going on and that he couldn't get ahold of Kate.
"Probably. It's a nice thought." Kate leaned into her brother and took comfort in his hug. He rarely, if ever, initiated contact that was in a caring manner, and she would take what she could get before he went back to his normal habits. "Did you want to say goodbye to him? I'm about ready to head home. I know Ma won't handle this too well."
"Nah. He knows what I'd say anyway." Packie shrugged against the uncomfortable feelings that wanted to surface in him. He wasn't the emotional type… Unless he was shitfaced drunk and in the passenger seat of Niko's car. That was a different story. That was a safe place. This wasn't.
"It's okay Packie. I'll give you a minute. I need to clean my bloody nose anyway." Kate shifted out of his hold and headed back toward the sink where she had left her bloody rags. She worked on getting fresh towels out of the dispenser and folded them over in order to stop the flow of new blood from her nostril. The migraine from earlier throbbed painfully in her temples and she wished she had some headache medicine to counteract it.
"Here. It's not the best stuff in the world but will help with the pressure headache. I assume that's where the bloody nose is coming from?" The doc rolled his chair over to her from his desk and held out two white pills.
"Thanks doc. Yeah. Had one too many last night, and the heat outside isn't helping. And trying to keep from crying is adding to the headache." Kate took the pills and the offered bottle of water and took the medication.
"Here. Take a seat. I have a feeling the young gentleman needs to say a few things." The doc pulled out a stool from under his desk and patted the top of it.
"Thanks." Kate lowered herself to the cold surface of the stool and held the towels to her nose.
"Care for me to take a look?" The doc tilted his head to the side and waited patiently for her to answer him.
"Sure." She shrugged and lowered the bloodied towel from her face.
"Could be a ruptured blood vessel or simply an aggravated one from all the pollen that's in the air. This weather has been doing a number on my allergies lately." The doc pulled on some latex gloves and tilted her head back to see if he could spot anything out of the ordinary.
"I always get headaches when the heat settles in for the summer. Thankfully fall is only a few weeks away. Of course, then I'll be begging for the heat again." Kate closed her eyes and allowed the doctor to see to her nose.
"Don't we all get into that habit? Well, my dear, I don't see anything bad. But I also don't see the signs of it being an allergen related issue. Have you hit your head lately?" He lowered her chin down and handed her a clean paper towel to catch the new flow of blood, before sliding his fingers back to her hairline to feel for swelling or bumps.
"Possibly. I don't remember much of last night." She thought back to what she could remember and knew she hadn't hit anything… But the man from the street had backed her into the brick wall harshly. Her hand lifted to rub along the back of her head and felt a sharp pain shoot across her skull. At the last second, she schooled her features to keep from wincing in pain.
"Ah. I heard about the rather large kegger at Steinway. The cops were called around 0300. I'm sure it'll make the news." His eyes glinted with an untold merriment at hearing about the party. He did love a good cause for celebration. He lowered his hands from her neck and base of her head, disposing of the gloves into the trashcan.
"Yeah, I was there for a bit. And if my brothers had anything to do with it, I was home before midnight." She rolled her eyes and glanced over to where Packie was hunched over and leaning over Derrick's prone body.
"My dear I suggest you get some rest and to drink plenty of water. I know that's probably a mute sentiment now with what's happened. But do try to take care of yourself in the coming days. Not everyone displays their pain in the same way. I fear for your mother." He followed her gaze and smiled sadly. He knew the McReary's were in for a rough ride with the passing of Derrick.
"I'll try. No promises." She rubbed one last time over the knot she could feel forming on the back of her head and yanked the ponytail holder free from her hair.
Kate watched as Packie stood up straight from the table and turned in her direction, "I think that's my cue doc. It was good to see you. Will I see you at the funeral?" She turned her attention off of her brothers and back to the doc she had come to trust and love.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'll have Francis give me the details once they are finalized." He patted her knee and handed her a fresh paper towel, "Lean forward and pinch the nostrils shut if it persists much longer. And if it keeps going, seek medical help. Don't wait till it gets worse."
"Thank you." Kate took the fresh paper towel and tossed the bloody one in the trashcan, "Take care of Derrick."
"I always take care of my patrons." The doc smiled and stood up from his chair, picking up a clipboard from his desk, and headed over to where Derrick waited for him.
Kate nodded to him as Packie approached her silently. She could see the reddening of his eyes, but there wasn't a single tear trail on his face. He stared at the ground around his shoes and didn't speak up once he got close to her and shuffled back and forth on his feet. He had his own way of hiding his pain and she recognized the signs.
"Ready to head home? Face the music?" She quietly asked her brother.
"Yeah. Let's get out of here. Ma is probably worried sick about how I left her." Packie lifted his eyes for a second to see his sister. He frowned at the bloody rag she held to her face, "The fuck happened to you?"
"Allergies or something." Kate shrugged and stood up from the stool too quickly. The room tilted sideways, and she stumbled forward as the rush of blood from her head left her dizzy.
"Jesus!" Packie caught her around the waist as she nearly collapsed.
"Sorry! I stood up too quickly. That's all. I'm good." Kate found her footing and leaned up off of her brother. It was mildly concerning how she had almost fainted. Just what was going on with her?
"Better be. I ain't about to carry you out of this damn pig factory. They'd arrest my ass for sure thinking I did something to you!" He kept his hand on her upper back, scared she would fall over again once they headed off to the elevator.
"I wouldn't let them do that." Kate sighed and placed the paper towel back to her nose as she felt another wave of wetness.
"Come on. Let's get out of here and go tell Ma." Packie led her back to the elevator and pressed the button waiting for the doors to open. The shuffling of the doc as he prepared to start his work on Derrick was an odd noise. He wanted to look back one more time to his brother, but part of him was scared of what he would see. The few movies and television shows he had seen with autopsies made his skin crawl and he didn't want the mental image of Derrick's chest being split open and his organs being removed.
The doors quietly made their joyful sounding ding and slid open. Quickly the siblings entered the metal lift and pressed the ground floor button. Kate watched as the doors closed off the sight of the white sheet that covered her brother. It would take all her willpower to not break down on the way home. She could only see the still face of Derrick and her knees shook against the image.
"Hey. Things will be alright. We will get Derrick laid to rest soon and we will find who did this. I bet Gerry has an idea. Once he gets settled in prison and they allow phone calls, I'll reach out to him. There is no way this was some kind of random shooting. Too many people are pissed off at us." Packie firmed his hand on Kate's back and felt the anger flow through his veins. He refused to acknowledge what Derrick had rambled on about the previous night.
"Not now Packie. I don't want to know. Not right now anyway. I just want to get home and help Ma through this." She closed her eyes and pinched her nose harder to help keep the blood from seeping out and soaking the only paper towel she had left.
The doors slid open to the loud and boisterous lobby, and they exchanged looks before exiting out into the hallway. Officers moved around and went about their daily tasks, not paying the McReary siblings any mind. Hurriedly they made a beeline toward the front doors, no longer wishing to be in the stuffy police station. Kate waved toward Mitch when he looked up in their direction.
"Come on Kate. I don't want to stay here for another second." Packie pulled on her wrist to get her moving again when she stopped to wave.
"Ouch!" Kate hissed as her arm lit up in angry, burning pain. She yanked free of his grip and rubbed at her elbow and upper arm, feeling a dull throb beneath the surface of her skin.
"You okay?" Packie held the door open and ushered her back outside into the suffocating humid heat. The dark rain clouds had moved in and trapped the heat within the maze of tall buildings. It would only be a matter of time before the rain broke free and drowned everyone's sorrow.
"Yeah. I must've hit the restroom door this morning." She knew it was where the man had grabbed her arm and for whatever reason, she didn't feel safe telling her brothers about the confrontation. She had so much going on in her mind that bringing up a random stranger in Holland seemed like the least of their problems.
"Klutz." Packie snorted as he unlocked his red comet. He shot a death glare at the detective that had come to tell them about Gerry before walking around his car to the driver door.
"Jackass." Kate retorted, smiling at how he had fallen back into old habits. Their game of lame insults usually put her in a better mood, and she was thankful for the distraction. She had noticed Ron standing off to the side by the entrance to the alley and she gave him a gentle nod. He was only trying to comfort her and didn't deserve her rebuff or distraught attitude. So much was compounding on her at once and it usually resulted in those closest to her getting hurt. 'Another reason I keep my distance from everyone…'
"Slowpoke." Packie called as he opened his door and looked between his sister and the detective. He didn't like the soft gaze he was sending his sister and he felt for the pistol that was tucked down into the waistband of his pants.
"Drunkard." Kate laughed briefly and opened the other door and dropped down into the comet. She waved toward Ron to let him know things were okay for the time being and she would speak to him later… Whenever she got the time to.
"Look who's talking! Can't even remember the makeout sess you and me boy Niko had on the front porch!" Packie let out a holler when his sister's face turned redder than the color of his car, "I swear he was gonna lay one on ya before I opened the door. Derrick was too damn scared to interrupt you two." He shoved the keys into the ignition and got the car started.
"WHAT!" Kate snapped her face in his direction and felt the burn from her face develop all over her body. She couldn't decide on mortification at having been seen by her brothers, the embarrassment of not remembering anything he was talking about, or the guilt that she had given in so easily to Niko and her inebriated state. Now she was going to have to drag it out of Packie on exactly what had happened. 'I'm never drinking again…'
aaaaaa
Niko knocked back another shot from the half empty bottle of vodka that he held in his hand. He had driven over to the Middle Park East apartment and completely ignored everyone in the lobby as he stormed into the elevator. He wasn't in the mood to deal with people. Especially overly nosey, flirty, and clingy front desk attendants. The television sat in silence in front of him and he wondered if he should turn it on to have some kind of noise to keep the dark thoughts at bay.
Something was better than nothing at this point.
He lifted the bottle up to his lips and took another swig of the clear liquid. The burn no longer bothered him, and it did nothing to dull the pain in his body. Even as the notification on his phone beeped at having a ten-thousand-dollar deposit hit his bank account, he felt nothing. There was nothing in this world that would make him feel better about what he had done. Not even finding Darko would settle the pit in his stomach.
He had killed Derrick in cold blood.
He had taken the window cleaning lift up to the rooftop. He had taken position. He had lined up the shot. And he pulled the trigger.
No matter how he looked at it; He was responsible for killing Derrick. Francis may have forced his hand, but he was still the one who fired the weapon. Out of all the stunts, crimes, murders he had committed so far in LC, this one ranked at the top of his list of most regretful. He'd give just about anything up to go back and undo the shot.
'Not everything… Darko. He is your mission in life. Find the fucker and kill him. That's all that matters…'
His mind and heart were at war within him. Darko wasn't, or shouldn't, be the only thing that mattered in his life. He cared for his cousin deeply. He missed his mother and looked forward to her emails. He had friends he relied on and wanted to keep hanging out with. He had… Kate. He wanted to take their friendship, or relationship, whatever it was, to a new level. But now he wasn't sure he could.
Or should.
What would she think or do if she knew he had killed Derrick? Or for that matter, if she found out what Francis had forced him to do? Everything that had been built between them would be yanked out from under them. There would be no them. He was half tempted to just call off their arrangement. Save her the pain of ever finding out.
But as he started to think of ways of letting her down gently, he could only see the betrayal and tears that would form on her face. How she would crumble and drop to a low point. He would end up stripping her of her confidence and fledging optimism in life. It would be a killing blow to her. He would be the reason she completely isolated herself and never attempted to try and live for anyone but her Ma. She had tethered herself to him in a way, and he to her. And it was a daunting thought.
He knew what betrayal felt like. It was the worst kind of pain, and he didn't want to put her through that. He was in too deep whether he knew it or not… They were standing before a chasm and neither knew what lay at the bottom, or where the bridge was to cross it.
He took another gulp from the glass bottle of vodka and tried to quiet his racing mind. He shouldn't have gotten close to her. He should have heeded every warning Packie, and Gerry had thrown his way. Now he would either be the reason she continued to trudge on, or the reason she gave up. All because he had been caught between a rock and a hard place with Francis.
'Life really is one big fucked up mystery.'
"Cousin? Is everything okay? Wasn't expecting to see you here in the middle of the day." Roman entered the apartment and cautiously edged over to the couch to see what had Niko sitting so pensively in the armchair facing a blank television. He was used to coming home to an empty apartment, only to hear Niko shuffle in sometime around one or two in the morning and flop down on the couch.
"It's nothing Roman." Niko didn't bother to glance up as Roman sat down on the couch close to him. He was not in the mood for Roman's optimism. Or anyone's uplifting spirit. He wanted to be left alone with his thoughts and the bottle of liquor that was keeping him company.
"This doesn't look like nothing NB. Talk to me. What's going on?" Roman eyed the bottle of liquor and didn't recognize it from the cabinet in the kitchen. 'Must have just bought it…'
"I made a decision today that I shouldn't have made. That's all." He lifted the bottle to his lips and downed another large gulp. He was hoping the alcohol would erase the image of Derrick's body sliding off the bench, the blood soaking the ground below him. But he knew it wasn't going to help. He remembered all his kills from the war and no amount of alcohol poisoning was going to scrub them from his memory. Or Kate's crestfallen face once he was identified as the killer.
"Take a break for a second. Eat something. This isn't a healthy diet." Roman made to take the bottle from Niko's grasp, only for Niko to jerk it from his reach. He frowned at his cousin's attitude and behavior.
"This coming from the man who drinks while on the job and while gambling away our money." Niko rolled his eyes and dropped his head back against the top of the chair. He was tired of not feeling something. He wanted to rewind time to being on the front doorstep of the McReary home. He wanted to redo that whole night now knowing what was to come the following morning. He wouldn't have made any kind of move. He would've kept her at an arms distance and pegged it down to just her being drunk and not realizing what she was doing.
Now he was going to have to figure his way out of whatever feelings and connections they had built up. The thought deepened his scowl, and he took another swig off the vodka.
"About that. Niko I've been getting ahead. Way ahead. I actually just got done paying off the last loan shark this morning. I. Well. I've been meaning to talk to you about something." Roman ignored the dig at his own habits and assumed that Niko had a rough morning and was working on drowning his sorrows. Things had been rather out of control since his own kidnapping. And they hadn't spent a single moment to talk things over between them.
"Go ahead." Niko let the bottle slip from his fingers to rest on the hardwood floor by his feet. He was sure this was one more crazy scheme his cousin had cooked up and was needing him to help bail him out of trouble. What was one more thing piled on all the other shit he was having to figure out? He turned his head to the side and lifted his eyebrow when Roman hadn't immediately started rambling on about his business deals or mafias that were after them.
"Maybe some other time. You are drunk." Roman didn't like his arrogance and didn't want to get into heartfelt conversations when his cousin wasn't taking him seriously.
"Cousin. I'm fine. I just know that what I did this morning is going to hurt someone close to me if they find out." Niko sighed and knew he needed to get it together and move past it. Just like everything else in his life, he would shove it to the side and become detached from it. Detached from her, and the entire McReary family. He was good at it, and it had served him well since surviving the ambush. If he didn't dwell on it, it didn't bother him. He was skilled at being a mercenary. Catching the eye of the American government and every big-time mob family could attest to that.
What was one more bridge to burn and walk away from?
'Except I don't want to…'
"Ah. You speaking about a special someone? You hardly ever come home to the apartment. So? Who's the lucky lady?" Roman leaned forward completely forgetting why he was wanting to talk to Niko. He had Mallorie in his life and longed to be able to go on double dates with his cousin. He had been pushing Niko to join Love-Meet or Craplist and to find a chick. Even if to just blow off some steam. This had been the first his cousin had spoken about someone being close. Since the whole Michelle fiasco anyway.
"Roman!" Niko groaned and slapped a hand to his face. Of course his cousin would jump to that conclusion, "More like a couple of people will be hurt if they knew what I did. But if you must know- yes. There is a woman that has caught my attention. No, we are nothing more than friends. That's how she wants it. How I want it."
"That rules out the bombshell down in the lobby. She's been wanting to get your pants off since we moved in. But way to go NB!" Roman smiled at hearing his cousin getting involved with someone. No matter what he said about them being friends only, he knew the charm the Bellic's carried, and no woman would last long against it. Mallorie had put up a decent fight, but eventually came round to him.
Niko almost let himself laugh at Roman's mention of the lady who worked the front desk of the apartment building. He had never given her a second glance. Kate had caught his eye the first time he had entered into the McReary household. She had been just standing there in normal clothes by her mother's side. He disliked the introduction Packie gave him but couldn't argue with some of the points made. Though he didn't consider himself a drug dealer of any kind.
"It must be that lady Mohammed picked up this morning! He took a fare and didn't charge her. When he came in for lunch, he explained to me that it was your girlfriend." Roman laughed at the shocked expression that fell over his cousin's face. It was more telling than anything he had ever seen cross Niko's face. Most of the time he was met with a neutral stare or a frown. Now he was seeing something different flick through his eyes, and he cackled again at the panic that he could read.
"What is that dumbass going on about now? You did reprimand him for the sexual misconduct, yes?" Niko leaned up in the chair and picked the bottle back up, placing it down on the coffee table. His interest was piqued now from what Roman had revealed.
"Yes, yes, yes. Forget about that. So, he tells me he spotted the woman from last night walking down the street in North Holland. He didn't give me much details. Of course, I wasn't really interested since he gave her a free ride all the way down into Westminster. That's a hefty fare to just not collect on. I didn't really pay attention till he said you had her in the taxi last night leaving Steinway Beer Garden. That where you were last night? In a woman's bed?" His eyebrows waggled at his insinuation, and he lightly slapped the back of his hand on his cousin's shoulder.
"I have other apartments to lay low in." Niko shoved his cousin's hand away from him and frowned at the thought of her walking around in North Holland alone, "What was she doing up there?" Niko mused before pulling out his cell phone and scrolling to her name in his contact list. That was a dangerous part of town and not someplace she should just wander around in. 'Wait… He said Mohammed took her down to Westminster… Where Francis' office is…'
"No clue NB. Sooooo… what's her name?" Roman watched as his cousin sat upright in the chair and pulled out his cell phone. He was missing something from the story, and he wished he had paid closer attention to the rambling Mohammed had made back in the depot.
He debated calling her to check in. She was bound to be hurting from the loss of her brother. But would she even be up to talking to him? Was he even prepared to listen to her break down about Derrick being gone while he was responsible for said brother being dead? For all he knew Francis had called her to come identify the body and that thought alone enraged him. There was no reason for her to be put through all that and he pressed the call button on her name. He lifted the phone to his ear and waited for the call to connect.
"Hi there! You've reached my, Kate McReary, phone's voicemail. Sorry you've missed me! Leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Have a great day or night!" Kate's joyful sounding voice rang out with the message greeting, and he hung up.
'Her phone is off… Not good.' He turned his attention back to his cousin realizing he hadn't answered whatever question he had asked him, "What?"
"You're impossible. What is her name cousin?!" Roman took the bottle from the coffee table and took a large gulp, "Man that's the good stuff. Must have been one hell of a night!"
"Never mind about last night. What I did this morning would ruin anything that may or may not have happened. Her name is Kate McReary." He tapped his phone against his leg and tried to play out any and every scenario that would place her in Holland. It wasn't close to Dukes and for all he knew she didn't have many friends, not that her brother's let her socialize much. She was confined to the house to take care of their mother, a task she had taken upon herself when no one else stepped in to help.
"Sounds Irish. Everything okay? You look worried." Roman placed the bottle down in front of his cousin on the table. He could see the wheels turning in Niko's eyes and knew he wasn't picking up on something.
"Her phone is off. It's… strange. Forget about it. What was it that you wanted to talk about?" Niko would have time later to figure things out. The fact that Mohammed had offered her a free ride down to Westminster was odd and completely out of his character. Her being in Holland to begin with was troubling. And there was no telling if she had been out wandering the streets when he killed her brother. He could have passed her on the street as he took off on his bike to dump the murder weapon.
"I'll drop it for now. But only because I am so excited to share this with you!" Roman scooted forward on the couch and clasped his hands together, "You know how I lost the engagement ring in the apartment fire? Well, I haven't been able to pick out a suitable replacement ring for my Mallorie just yet, but I think the promise of a future together should be a good enough symbol for her to accept my proposal."
"What are you planning now Roman?" Niko crossed his arms and prayed for the patience to come in order to get through his cousin's long winded storytelling.
"I bought us a house. For Mallorie and me. I think it's time to have our own place to live. Where we can settle down and start the next chapter of our lives. It's not completely fixed up yet. Was run down and abandoned. But I have a construction crew working on it now. Should be ready in a month or so. I think I can propose to her with the key to the house- take her down to it and drop to a knee on the pathway up to the house. What do you think?" Roman didn't over animate his movements while explaining his thoughts to his cousin. He wanted Niko to take him seriously and really listen to his plan. This was a huge decision to make, and he didn't want to leave anything to chance.
"You bought a house? Roman, that's- that's great news. How?" Niko was not expecting this from his cousin. Anything but advice on marriage proposals and relationships. He was the last person his cousin should be talking to when it came to romantic gestures.
"The details of the house don't matter. Do you think she will say yes?!" Roman pressed his cousin for an honest answer.
"Roman. From what I have seen and heard about the two of you, you are made for each other. She has stuck by your side through all the side women, and you have gotten past the ordeal with Vlad. If anyone can make something last, it's you." Vlad was a sore subject for them both, but it was true, Mallorie had come around after he had killed him. Even though Roman took credit, "Mallorie has called me a couple of times to talk about your relationship. She sounds like she wants it to work out and move forward. I don't think you have anything to worry about."
"Thank you, cousin! I plan on proposing as soon as the house is repaired and cleaned. I'm going all out romantic charm! The fall leaves will be the perfect backdrop to the house." Roman stood up and moved back into the kitchen to grab a couple of glasses, "We must celebrate. I am so close to achieving my dreams. I never thought it was possible. And now I have family here with me to partake in the wedding and future I have made for myself!"
"As much as I am happy for you, really, I am, I am not in the mood for celebrating. Perhaps Brucie would be up for it?" Niko turned slightly in the chair to watch his cousin move around the kitchen, pulling down a couple of expensive looking crystal tumblers.
"He wouldn't be happy for me. Commitment scares him, I think." Roman lifted up the expensive bottle of vodka that they kept tucked away for certain occasions. Lately it had been after a traumatic event, but this time he would get the chance to toast it to something good.
"It would." Niko scoffed and lifted himself out of the chair and moved over to the kitchen island, plopping down on his favorite stool. 'Might as well try to snap out of it and get back on track. No good sitting around will do me…'
"A new woman every week, or day, depending on his mood. Though sometimes I wonder about him…" Roman stared off at the large industrial window at the dark clouds that smattered the sky.
"You aren't the only one. Didn't he get you two into Masionette 9?" Niko took the bottle from Roman's hand and worked on pouring two large shots into the glasses.
"He did! Place is awesome! It will have to be where I have my bachelor party!" Roman snapped out of his thoughts and smiled when Niko pushed a glass in his direction.
"Don't go planning a party before you even ask Mal. She still has to say yes." Niko smirked as the color drained from Roman's face and he picked up his own glass of the good vodka.
"She will. There is no way she can turn this away!" Roman took a second to turn a full circle, arms out wide, and stopped when he came back to facing Niko, "Can't get any better than this right here baby!"
"You're delusional." Niko chuckled at his cousin's antics and held his glass up, propping his elbow on the surface of the island, "Now. Cheers, cousin. On your pending nuptials."
"Thank you, cousin!" Roman bumped his glass against Niko's and downed the liquid quickly, "Oh! Speaking of my beautiful Mallorie, here she is calling me. One second!" He pulled his ringing phone from his pocket and answered it, moving toward the bedroom to have some form of privacy.
Niko watched him disappear from the main living space in the apartment and poured himself another shot. This time it would be in remembrance of Derrick. He had felt bad that the drugs and alcohol had dragged Derrick down in life. It was a rough habit to kick, and even those that managed to get free eventually relapsed. And the relapse almost always took their life…
His phone started to buzz on the coffee table, and he took his second shot before getting up and heading over to answer the phone call. At this point he would welcome some stupid job from Ray Boccino. It would get his mind off of the depression that wanted to settle in. They had been chasing diamonds all over the city and the last job had led him to gunning down Isaac Roth for the deal gone wrong. 'Maybe he has an idea on where the diamonds are now…'
Packie's name flashed on his phone and his stomach grew cold. It wasn't that he didn't want to speak to Packie, but he dreaded what was going to be said. He glanced toward the partition wall and heard Roman let out boisterous laughter and figured he could get the call done and over with before his cousin joined him back in the living room.
Taking in a deep breath to find a steely resolve, he picked up his phone and answered the call before it went to voicemail.
"Niko, I don't know if you're heard it- but my brother Derrick's, dead…" Packie's voice sounded strong and level, but there was a short hesitation before he finished his sentence.
Niko sank down into the chair he had occupied earlier and scrubbed his free hand through his short hair, "No shit." He tried to sound surprised or at least unaware. He knew it was lame and not the best attempt at throwing off the blame he felt for being the reason for this phone call. This was Packie he was talking to. The man he saw as a stand-in brother. He didn't want to lessen the blow that he had delt to him by brushing off the concern and pain he could hear in Packie's voice.
"Yeah. I just hope he was smacked out of his brain when it happened because it wouldn't have suited him to be jonesing when he died." Packie plowed through the words and left nothing to be deciphered. And it worried Niko that he didn't sound the least bit sad or down about the death of his older brother.
"There isn't any good way to go though, is there?" He sighed and slouched down further in the chair and forced himself to remember that Packie had no idea the magnitude of the situation. Francis had ordered him to kill Derrick and Derrick had called him, begging for his life almost, and asked him to take out Francis. 'No there is no good way for any of this to end…'
"I guess not…" He could hear a quiet sigh come from Packie before it sounded like he was moving around on the other end of the call. The background noise got quieter, and he figured he had gone someplace else to continue the call, "Gerald got arrested too. They got him in the Alderney State Correctional Facility."
That was news to Niko. He sat up in the chair and looked to where Roman had disappeared before responding to Packie, "They took Gerry down?" He tried to think back on the odd jobs he had run for Gerry and if he had let someone trail him back to the source. He had been overly careful when dealing with the Albanians and Ancelottis. He knew what kind of people they were dealing with and did not want to end up putting Kate or their Ma in danger by blowing his cover.
"Don't worry, he's always being hauled in, but the charges never stick." Packie sounded so sure of himself that even Niko briefly wanted to believe him.
"Come to Derrick's funeral. It'd mean a lot to the family. It's tomorrow at the Church in Suffolk." Packie's voice lowered slightly and had a somewhat pleading edge to it.
Niko didn't know what to say. He hadn't even thought about a funeral or what the McReary's were going to do with the mess Francis had made. He wasn't a fan of being in a church or listening to people talk about loved ones they had lost. He had sat Shiva for a fallen comrade during the war, but even that hadn't been completely traditional given their orders to move out. There hadn't been any memorial services for the soldiers lost during the war and he had resented the ones in charge for not honoring their lives lost.
But to go to the service of someone he had just shot?! That ranked right up there with fucked up things he had done in his life. No, he wouldn't go. He didn't deserve to sit in a church, surrounded by friends and family that loved Derrick. He wouldn't be able to stand to see their Ma cry over the loss of her child.
'But what about Kate? She will need someone…' His thoughts whispered to him. If he went, it wouldn't be for Derrick, it would be for Kate and Packie. He could be the support to them, even if they didn't want him there in that role. Kate would surely push him away. She always became distant after a night of pouring her heart out. It was a defense mechanism he recognized in her. She would draw back to square one as if she were scared he would use her pain against her. And unfortunately… he had. Derrick was dead, just as she had feared would happen to her brothers.
It wasn't like he wanted to kill Derrick or Francis. He didn't do it to hurt her. He did it to keep on his own mission in life. At least that's what he kept telling himself.
He could also go to seek penance for the crime he had committed. He owed them that much… He owed Derrick an apology. He owed the entire family an apology. Though words would do nothing to take the sorrow away. His presence would have to be enough to show he was sorry for doing what he did.
"I'll stop by man. I'll see you there." The words left his mouth feeling dry. He didn't think it was a good idea, but he would put his own feelings aside to be there for his friend and whatever he was considered toward Kate. He didn't think he would be able to look at her eyes and not feel guilty for the pain he would see there. He was responsible and his chest constricted sharply.
"Remember to wear a suit, Niko. We can't have you dressed like a bum in the church." Packie let out a dry laugh and it lifted the corners of Niko's lips briefly.
"I won't dress down. I think I know enough respect to know how to dress for a funeral." Niko sighed heavily and reached out for the bottle that still rested on the coffee table. His fingers trailed over the beveled edge of the opening, and before he could stop himself, he blurted out the words that he shouldn't have, "How is Kate?"
"And your Ma?" He recovered quickly and threw in the second question to try and show his focus wasn't all on his sister.
"Kate's… I don't know. She locked herself in her room after finalizing the plans with Ma. And you know Ma, strong as the ocean current against the cliffs. She will probably mourn in private. Or at the service. It was her first born…" If Packie had picked up on his questioning into Kate, he didn't let it show.
"I understand. I'm sorry for your loss." Niko could picture Kate huddled on a bed in her room, slowly placing walls around her heart and mind to keep from expressing herself in any way. Unless she got drunk. Then those walls usually came crashing down- and he had been witness to several nights of tears and pain. It never irked him the way she behaved or let everything out; only to not remember doing it the next day. He understood the rawness of it all, but he had no way of letting his own pain out. So he let her vent and lived vicariously through it.
"Thanks Niko. I'm glad you will be there for us all. Hard to know who to trust these days. Seeing him- Seeing Derrick down in the autopsy room was just fucking weird." Packie huffed out a weird sound and it caused Niko to feel dread at what he was saying.
"You saw him?" Niko watched as Roman walked back into the room and lifted his hands once he noticed that he was on the phone.
"Fuckin' Frankie called Kate of all people to- shit. Hang on." Niko heard Packie yelling something away from the phone. It sounded muted so maybe he had lowered the phone and was covering the earpiece, "Shit. Ma's deciding to throw a stupid Wake tonight. I gotta start calling the guys to make sure they show up. I'll see you tomorrow, Niko."
"Alright. Later on, Packie." Niko ended the call and dropped his phone to the coffee table and lifted the bottle up to his lips and took another long gulp.
"What is all that about? You don't look so happy." Roman nervously sat back down on the couch.
"Someone was killed in the McReary family. I was asked to attend the funeral tomorrow." Niko handed the bottle to Roman and leaned back into the chair and rubbed his eyes harshly. 'What have I got myself in to…'
"Someone was killed? This is the family of your girlfriend… right?" Roman paused in lifting the bottle to his lips. He had a surreal sense of knowing fall upon his shoulders and he tried to remain passive and calm as he stared at his cousin. He knew of the killings and crimes Niko had committed and turned a blind eye most of the time- it had kept them in the black as far as money goes. But could he have… 'No. Niko would never…'
Niko darkly glared from narrowed eyes at Roman. He was getting too close to figuring out what he had done, and he did not want to deal with one more person knowing. It was bad enough that Francis knew. Secrets were best kept between only one person. If things were meant to stay hidden, one must not tell another living soul. Roman fidgeted under his gaze and he sighed. Roman didn't need his scrutiny. For all he knew, Roman knew of everything and simply kept his mouth shut and enjoyed the benefits crime provided them. 'He did buy a house…'
"Kate's family. Yes." That was all Niko would tell him. He would not let things go further. The less people who knew, the better.
"You have a suit for it? You can't show up wearing that…" Roman gave his cousin a once over before taking a swig from the bottle. He didn't want to travel down any rabbit holes today and would drop the line of thinking altogether.
"I had a suit. It's in need of repairs." The bullet holes and tears from his escape from the Bank of Liberty had destroyed the suit he had bought for the job. He had taken a couple of shots to his back while covering Packie from the officers. He had worn his bullet proof vest that day and knew Derrick and Packie had forgone any form of protection.
"Come cousin. We can head down to Perseus. It's not too far from here. Let me help you pick out something appropriate." Roman found the cork topper for the bottle and sealed the vodka closed. He stood up from the couch and headed toward the liquor cabinet to store it away.
"You don't have to. I can go by myself." Niko hauled himself out of the chair and internally groaned at having to go suit shopping with his cousin. He was wanting to be left alone for a couple of hours before having to do anything menial. He needed to clear his mind and get back to his focused drive to find Darko.
"If this is the family that your girlfriend is part of…?!" Roman closed the cabinet door and turned to face Niko with a rather mischievous grin.
"Roman! You are not going to get me into something in order to score. That is highly inappropriate. She lost her brother." Niko crossed his arms and glared at his cousin. The absolute nerve! He wasn't going to the funeral to further his relationship. He was going to be there to support her and Packie. He had killed their brother. It would be wrong to try and do anything more than simply be there- silently and in the background.
"You think so low of me. No! I will help pick out something that will be respectful and… still make you look good. A sharp dressed man always catches the lady's eye! Funeral, wedding, black tie event- you name it! Just because it's a funeral doesn't mean you can't be dressed up and looking good. It's respectful to look your best. At least that's what Bernie told me when we went to the club the other night." Roman's smile only widened at the exasperated look Niko was sporting.
"Did you know he has connections with just about everyone in this city? His name is permanently on every guest list at the clubs and bars! He even said he could get me in to Jerkov's restaurant and that is near impossible to get reservations." Roman walked over to the main elevator and turned to wait for his cousin to join him.
"Fascinating." Niko grumbled as he tucked his phone into his jacket pocket and headed toward the entrance to the apartment where Roman continued to chat lively about clubs, bars, and places he could get in to now that he knew Florian or Bernie as he was known in Liberty City.
"You should join us next time we go clubbing. It'll get you out of whatever funk you are in. Seriously lighten up man!" Roman pressed the call button for the elevator and glanced to his side where Niko leaned into the wall.
"If you haven't noticed, I'm not into clubbing. I have plenty of other shit I need to take care of than waste money on overpriced drinks and entrance fees into some stupid dance club." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as the elevator seemed to take its time as if mocking him for being rude to his cousin.
"You know what! You are coming out tonight with us. I won't hear a single excuse out of you! I will call Flor-Bernie and get us into Masionette 9. We will get you drunk and back into a happy state. Just in time to wow this new girl of yours." Roman entered into the open lift and set his face into his best poker look he could manage against the murderous glare Niko was sending his way.
"And if I say no?" Niko stiffly walked into the elevator and put as much space as he could between him and his cousin.
"That is not an option. Come on NB. It'll be… fun! You should start having more of it." Roman pressed the ground floor button and waited for the doors to close.
"So long as it is not what Bernie called fun. He said it was a four-letter word." Niko lifted his eyes to the ceiling of the closed elevator as they descended down to the lobby. He would need another drink if he was meant to endure suit shopping with Roman, and then a night out at some loud, crowded, hot bar in downtown Liberty City. He would much rather be in a high stakes gun fight than getting a headache from fruity drinks and booming dance beats.
"He said what now?" Roman let out a surprised chuckle not understanding how fun was a four-letter word.
"I don't know. Ask him about it." Niko turned to lean into the wall and crossed his arms. He figured Bernie was just having translation issues and didn't put much thought behind it when they were down at the docks.
"Wait- Oh my God Niko!" Roman busted out into uncontrollable laughter, tears coming to his eyes, as he sucked in air between belly laughs.
"What is so funny?" He fought the smile that wanted to form on his face as his cousin doubled over in another fit of laughter.
"Fun," Roman wheezed, "Four- four letter word!" He wiped at his eyes as the elevator opened to the lobby and he stumbled out onto the marble floor, fighting against the chuckles and snorts that tore from his throat.
"Get it together already Roman. It's not-" Then it clicked in his mind, and he snorted as the meaning Bernie had implied snapped into place.
"Oh my God, only Florian would come up with something like that…" Roman let out a couple more chuckles as he controlled his laughter and headed for the front entrance. They were on a mission to get Niko a suit and hopefully have a good night out on the town. And if he was being completely honest with himself, it gave him a chance to look at suits and tuxes for his own future wedding. The thought put a smile on his face, and he waved toward the pretty blonde female that sat behind the front desk.
"Come on Roman. Let's get this over with." Niko ushered his cousin out the front door and toward his parked Infernus. He didn't want to be excited about spending the night with his cousin and friends, but it would be a good distraction from the darker thoughts that wanted to surround him. He would work on getting past Derrick's murder and back on his original path in LC.
'Find Darko… End it all and then, maybe, focus on a future.'
