Chapter 28

Mrs. Knight brushed the blonde hair out of Kendall's face. Just two months ago, Kendall would have pushed her away, embarrassed. But now, Kendall just snored loudly, making a tiny whimper in his sleep.

"I love you, Kendall. Mommy loves you." Mrs. Knight whispered softly, tears in her eyes. Kendall whimpered in response.

Mrs. Knight didn't really get it. Why Kendall? Why Kendall, her sweet, loving, protective, son? Why him?

Don't get her wrong, Mrs. Knight would never wish something like this on someone else. Even if someone could trade places with Kendall, she would never agree to it. This was too horrible for someone else to go through.

It was too horrible to even occur.

So why did the world allow it? And even more so, why did the world laugh at it?

Carlos had just come out of the hospital yesterday, and that was the question Mrs. Knight kept on playing in her mind. Why would someone laugh at something as horrible as this?

She would never, ever, find mental retardation funny in any situation. Never. Who would be so cruel as to ridicule her caring son? And who would be cruel enough to beat sweet little Carlos up for being brave and standing up for what was right?

She knew the world was cruel, but this… this was just too much for her to bear.

Every night, Mrs. Knight would cry herself to sleep. She just hated everything. She hated what the world had done to her poor son, she hated the people in the world who laughed at their misfortunes.

Mrs. Knight sat down next to Carlos's sleeping form as she entered the room he shared with James. The bed squeaked a little, but neither boy stirred. Mrs. Knight brushed her fingers through Carlos's ink black hair, sighing. "I'm sorry, baby…"

She just wished she could be a better guardian, a better mom, to these boys. It had been two months and already, Carlos was in the hospital, James and Logan weren't talking as much, and Kendall was…

Mrs. Knight sighed again. She just wanted to hold Carlos and James and Logan and Kendall in her arms and cradle them like she did when they were little kids. She still remembered the feeling of holding Kendall in her arms when he fell and broke his leg.

She remembered the feeling so well.

Mrs. Knight was so deep into her thoughts that she didn't notice someone putting their hand on her shoulder.

"M-Mrs. Knight?" Mrs. Knight let out a little yelp of surprise, turning around. She relaxed when she saw who it was. James.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." James said, looking away. His bangs fell over his face, and Mrs. Knight couldn't help but smile.

"It's alright, sweetie. Is something wrong?"

James shrugged. "It's just… you always seem so sad all the time and… and I hate seeing you like that."

Mrs. Knight wanted to cry. James, who used to be so self-conceited, now couldn't sleep knowing that someone was sad.

Maybe some things had changed for the better.

But Mrs. Knight felt guilty thinking that right after she thought it.

"James… you're so kind, but… there's really nothing you can do."

James smiled back a little. "I know it's hard, Mrs. Knight, but… he's still the same. You can tell. S-sometimes, when we watch hockey on TV, you can see that he's really into it. He's still the same person, just…"

"Different?" Mrs. Knight finished. James nodded sheepishly, and they both chuckled.

"Well, maybe he's not all the same, but if you look deep enough, you can see the real him. It's still there, I'm sure of it." James said confidently.

Mrs. Knight nodded sadly. "I know, honey… it's just that I don't want to have to look deep to find him." She admitted. She didn't why, but she felt like she could throw all her worries onto James, and he would catch them and take care of them.

It was probably all that confidence he had inside of him. Whatever he said etched into her mind and made her believe it 100 percent.

James sat down next to her. "I know, Mrs. Knight, I don't either. But… look on the bright side, like Carlos always does." They both turned to stare at the youngest boy, tiny smiles on their faces.

"I just can't believe someone would make fun of Kendall like that. My sweet baby… and why someone would do… would to this to Carlos." Mrs. Knight choked out, gesturing at the various bruises and cuts on Carlos's body.

James pulled her in for a half hug. "Don't cry, Mrs. Knight. I don't know why either. But… at least Kendall's still alive. You've still got us, right? Aren't we like your other three sons that you've never had?"

Mrs. Knight sniffled a little. "Oh, James… I don't know what I would do without you." James blushed, smiling back.

"We're all in this together, Mrs. Knight." James stated firmly.

Mrs. Knight shook her head. "You don't have to call me that. Just call me Jennifer, sweetie. You're an adult now, James. And I would like to treat you as one."

James beamed at her. "So I don't have to be polite anymore?"

Mrs. Knight laughed. "Anymore? You've never shown me any respect." She laughed jokingly.

James rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Hey, it's midnight. Maybe you should go to sleep." He suggested.

Mrs. Knight smiled at him lovingly. "Oh, James… you've changed so much. I would never have thought you'd be the one telling me to go to sleep. Maybe Logan, but never you."

"Well, things change." James replied. "Good night, Jennifer."

Mrs. Knight leaned over and kissed James on the cheek. "Good night, sweetheart."

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Logan couldn't sleep. He heard James and Mrs. Knight talking over in the room next to his, but he didn't want to join in.

This wasn't the first day he'd lay awake in his bed, feeling the emptiness of the room without Kendall. Kendall and Kendall's bed had been moved over to Mrs. Knight and Katie's room. He kept on waking up at night screaming obscenities that none of them understood.

He'd sit up, wide-eyed, and Logan would be woken up just as he had finally fallen asleep. No one understood a word Kendall was saying, but when he felt someone's hands on him, comforting him with a touch, he calmed down.

Even though he kept him up all night, Logan wanted Kendall back in his room. They had always been roommates ever since they moved to the Palm Woods. He was used to listening to Kendall's loud snoring and his snorts in his sleep.

But now all Logan could hear was the empty silence.

Logan sat up and glanced at the clock. 1:45. Of course.

He was almost positive he couldn't fall asleep, so he got up and walked out of the room. He went to the kitchen to get some water, but as he was walking back to another dreaded hour of lying awake, he heard James and Mrs. Knight.

"You're an adult now, James. And I would like to treat you as one." Logan heard Mrs. Knight say lovingly. Logan froze, his heart beating faster. James had turned 18 a few months back… none of them had even mentioned it.

James's 18th birthday was supposed to be special. Logan remembered him saying it was just as important as his Sweet 16. But he had probably spent it in the hospital.

And Kendall… oh, Kendall… he was 18 by now, too… and he had spent his 18th birthday at the hospital, too. He had spent it with the new Kendall, and not the old Kendall.

Logan was 18 soon too, and though he didn't think he'd be back at the hospital any time soon, he still didn't think his 18th would be a good one.

They were all growing up. But Kendall… he couldn't grow up along with him, like a normal teenager got to do. In his mind, he stayed a kid, a little kid. And he would probably never grow up.

Logan had always known Kendall would be successful in his life, no matter what he did. He excelled at hockey and could, with no doubt, make it into the Minnesota Wilds as center, he was clever, and he was smart. Not book smart, but street smart.

But did that now all come to a waste?

It hit Logan like a hammer to the chest. Kendall would never grow up with them.

Logan was never quite able to accept the truth. The grim reality of the situation. So every time he reminded himself of it, he literally felt his heart cracking in half.

But then when he woke up, he'd see his other two best friends, get calls from his family, and receive letters from the fans. The fans, who didn't care what had happened to Kendall. They still loved him, and Big Time Rush, for who they were.

Logan wished the people who had taunted Kendall were like their loyal fans.

Yeah, he wished a lot of things, but he knew most of them probably wouldn't come true.

Logan fell asleep that night in ten minutes. But he cried himself to sleep this time.

A/N- OMG… I just realized I haven't updated this in like, ONE MONTH! And I sincerely, deeply, apologize. But I will never give up on this story… just not getting that inspiration as of now… but you know, it'll come. And wasn't James the sweetest thing in this chapter! :)

I'm trying to finish this up by next month, since I'm going to China then. And won't be back for one month… but I guess you're all used to waiting that long for the next update, huh? ;)

Anyways, review please! And BTBonus is on Thursday! Everyone tune in if you can!

Peace, Love, and Giraffes,

Anonymous Skrtle