Chapter 29
Logan didn't want to wake up. He wanted to stay asleep forever. He wanted to keep on dreaming and dreaming forever. Even if those dreams were nightmares.
Anything would be better than waking up and facing the reality of his life.
But he still ended up blinking his eyes open at 10 in the morning. He was forced back into the nightmare that was his life.
Everyone was at breakfast already. Logan stepped down the stairs, devastating at having to live another day like this.
Time for another day with Kendall.
For a moment, he felt something spark inside of him. Annoyance. Anger.
It was just a flash, but Logan felt it burn through his whole body, making him want to hurt something. Someone. He didn't know where it came from, but he had a strong feeling it came from having to take care of Kendall day and night.
But just as quickly, it was gone. Logan was glad. He didn't want to make this day any worse than it already was when it started.
The day went by as the usual. Well, the usual since after Kendall's accident.
The four boys sat at the couch and watched the Wilds play hockey in the morning. Kendall would always cheer for number 9, the center, just like he always had before. He didn't even know his name.
"Go number 9! You're da best!" He'd scream over and over again, bouncing up and down on the orange couch with a gigantic grin on his face.
Some things never changed.
And just like a little kid would, Kendall got tired in the afternoon, at around one, and took a nap. But not before forcing Mrs. Knight to read him a story.
During that time, Logan would usually read a book, James would do his hair (they had all convinced him it had started looking very lifeless), and Carlos would do whatever he felt like doing that day while Kendall slept.
When Kendall woke, they played a board game or read a story with him. He loved Dr. Seuss.
Then it was time for dinner. Kendall always ate a little and then went to bed. Nothing really happened at night that was worth remembering. He just went to sleep, and then the others followed. Nothing special ever happened in the evenings with Kendall or with anyone else.
The day basically went like that, but at night, Logan decided to take James and Carlos out to dinner instead up sit awkwardly at the dinner table trying to start conversation.
Just them. Nobody else. No Kendall, no anyone. He didn't know why. Maybe he just wanted things to be normal again. Maybe this was his attempt at making things at least a tiny bit normal again.
Even though he knew better than to think such absurd things about his life. His life would never be normal again until Kendall was normal again.
But what was normal, after all? Nothing was normal. Nothing. Everything was weird, everything had its strangeness. Nothing was normal.
Logan had always hated that word: normal.
He wasn't considered normal, being so overly smart and nerdy. James was never considered normal, because of his almost feminine like face and his almost girly ways with make-up and hairspray. Carlos was never considered normal, because of his seemingly inability to learn and sit still and his ability to talk and talk and talk and never run out of energy.
Out of the four of them, people would have considered Kendall the most normal.
Logan almost laughed at the irony.
But normal wasn't a good word. One person's normal wasn't another person's normal. Logan thought he was completely normal; the other people were the weird ones. And that went for his friends, too; they thought other "normal" people were weird.
They never complained.
But majority always ruled. So normal meant what it meant in the majority's eyes.
But Logan knew what he meant by him wanting things to be normal again.
Mrs. Knight was definitely glad they were finally spending some bro time together again, so she agreed right away. "Go, boys. It'll be good for you." She had said cheerfully.
They walked to Fun Burgers and ordered something quick. They sat down at a booth in the corner. It was almost like a normal "going out" dinner that they had always had before.
They joked around, talked about girls, and did the things that they had always done before.
For a second, Logan felt like things would be the same again.
It was when they were walking home that it happened.
"I miss Kendall." James had stated bluntly. That was how it began.
Logan scoffed. "We all do, James. We all miss him, but what will that do?"
James blinked. "Woah, no need to get all angry, Logie." He said calmly, putting his hands up a little.
Logan felt guilty. "Sorry... I'm just stressed out, you know?" Logan apologized.
"It's all because of Kendall, right? That's why you guys are always so sad." Carlos suddenly piped up. He hadn't spoken for a while.
Logan narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"
Carlos looked down a little. "Well, I-I mean, maybe you guys, we, should just spend some time without him. We haven't been doing any of the things we used to do." He said shyly. Like he didn't want to admit it but knew it was true.
Logan felt that flame of anger ignite inside of him. The one that he had felt that morning. "Are you saying that we should ditch Kendall, who already practically has no one?" He retorted loudly.
Carlos widened his eyes. "N-no, just that maybe we don't have to spend that much time around him now. H-he's getting adjusted and doesn't need our extra care."
Logan felt the flame grow. "Kendall is our best friend! Do you not remember what he's done for us? For you? Isn't it only fair that we repay him for all he's done?" He argued angrily.
James stepped in. "Logan, relax. He didn't mean anything by it." He said tiredly.
Logan turned on him. The flame had swallowed him up. "Of course he didn't, James. You're always stepping up for Carlos, even when he's obviously too stupid to think for himself! What's so special about him anyways?"
James grabbed Logan roughly by the arm. "Don't you dare talk about him like that." He growled. Logan felt his vision start to go red.
Logan laughed sarcastically. "See? You're always sticking up for him! I'm sick of you two! This is all Carlos's fault anyways! If he hadn't dropped the stupid hockey stick, none of this would have happened!"
For a second, no one spoke. Carlos felt his heart contract painfully in his chest.
They knew. They knew it was him, and they hated him now. They hated him now.
He couldn't let them hate him. He'd have no one left, absolutely no one. He couldn't let them think that it was his fault.
He just couldn't let that happen.
Carlos didn't know why he did it. But he felt that he had to defend himself in some way. He didn't want them to blame him for this.
He regretted what he said next the second after he spoke it. But it was too late.
He turned and faced Logan, his fists clenched. "This is my fault? You're the one who wants to be a doctor! If you had been smarter, you could have stopped all of this from happening! You're the stupid one, and I bet Kendall would be disappointed in you if he were still normal!"
Logan let out a tiny sob, his face shocked, but Carlos didn't stop. "Kendall would hate you! He'd never want to look at your ugly face again!"
Logan stared at Carlos, tears in his eyes. Carlos wanted to apologize, he really was going to, but then James took Logan's arm and dragged him away.
When he looked back, his eyes were full of hatred, disgust, and disappointment for the Latino boy standing in front of him.
Carlos never wanted to see that look in his big brother's eyes again.
He watched as James and Logan got on a taxi and drove away without him. He felt a pang in his chest.
He fell to his knees, small sobs breaking out from his body.
Line line line
Logan didn't want to cry.
But he still did.
James found himself holding his younger friend in his arms, trying to comfort him and assure him that none of the cruel words were true.
He couldn't believe Carlos had said something that cruel to Logan. Carlos had always been nice and caring. Too nice, yes, but that was better than being mean like he just was.
But things had changed. That's what James himself had told Mrs. Knight after all, right? Things had changed along with the circumstances.
James felt his previous bond with Carlos break with each sob that erupted from Logan's mouth. He and Carlos used to be so close, closer than any of his four friends. They practically did everything together.
But Logan was his best friend too. And what Carlos had done was low. And James hated him for it.
"Th-this is all my fault! Kendall would h-hate me, James!" Logan cried. "I-I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have wanted to be a doctor anyways! D-doctors aren't stupid, James, and I-I destroyed Kendall…" He sobbed, each word getting louder and louder.
James rubbed his back. "Logie, don't think that. This was nobody's fault. You did everything perfectly. You got Kendall to the hospital, you give him all his medicine. Without you, we'd all go crazy, Logan. Even though you're not a doctor yet, you're about the best one I know.:
Logan smiled a little. "Y-you really think that?"
James nodded. "I'm sure of it. And if it's anyone's fault, it's Carlos's. You were right, Logan, like you always are."
James had never, ever, said anything bad about Carlos before. Ever.
But he was just so mad. How could Carlos do this to Logan? The smart boy was already so stressed out. So vulnerable. Logan had been the one taking the most care of Kendall these days.
And Carlos had pushed him to the edge.
"I-I can't believe he would..." Logan sobbed. James nodded, knowing what he meant. They both thought the same thing.
"I know, Logie. I'm sorry." What else could he say?
Logan just nodded and put his head on James's shoulder. James breathed out slowly, wondering how things had gotten so messed up.
Carlos had broken Logan right in half. And it was going to be a long time for that crack to heal.
A/N- Sorry about the slow update, I actually wrote this in China early on and just couldn't post it. But I'm back! Aren't you guys happy?
Good news! I've got the next chapter practically written (I did that in China, too), so expect it soon. Like, a few days maximum. Yay!
And what did you guys think about the fight? Whose side are you on? Or so you think they're both wrong or both right?See ya for now! And hope you loved the update!Peace, Love, and Giraffes,
Anonymous Skrtle
