The ground beneath their feet was frozen solid, and the dark branches of the trees surrounding them drooped slightly from the weight of the snow, which no longer fell from the sky, but occasionally fell from a branch, stirred by a soft wind, or by a quiet animal. Sound didn't travel very far in this thickening wood, as Harry was used to from all the other forests they had wondered through.
There wasn't always snow in the woods, nor in the villages that they visited. A lot of the time it was snowless in these early December days, whilst exceptionally cold, and occasionally dreary. As opposed to most of the villages that Harry had seen, however, the woods were full of life. Depending on the time of day, Tom and Harry would see various creatures within the forests they explored, including Thestrals, Unicorns, Trolls, Hippogriffs, and, according to Tom, creatures such as Dragons and Giants.
"Yet it is highly unlikely that we'll see anything truly interesting, besides the odd Thestral and so on, within these woods," Tom explained as they walked. "Most breeds of Dragons live further north, in the mountains there, and the Giants are very well hidden. We'll have to look for them deliberately, and research their locations."
"What would we do if we found one?" Harry asked, keen to hear what Tom was thinking about in relation to these magical creatures.
Tom thought about this as they strode past trees and snow. "I would be eager to keep track of where the Dragon or Giant was, especially if no Ministry was yet aware of its location. They often aren't, as you and I both know."
They walked further on, Harry glancing a few shadowed birds in one of the trees above them as he contemplated wording something on his mind. "You know that letter that you sent to the groundskeeper at Hogwarts?" Harry asked, "Hagrid, or whatever his name was?"
"Yes?"
"I asked you once whether you were trying to scare the groundskeeper with the knowledge that he had a giantess mother," Harry said, "and you said you were."
"Indeed. What about it?" Tom pressed, as Harry paused for a moment. Harry glanced at Tom, seeing that he appeared longing to hear Harry's thoughts on the matter as he glanced back. It looked as though he was suppressing a smile.
"You want him to help you track down and tame giants eventually, don't you?"
Tom allowed his smile to show softly, as he looked forwards. "Very much so."
"Did he ever reply?" Harry asked.
"No," Tom admitted, "But he might."
"And if he doesn't?"
"We find someone else," Tom said, unconcerned. "Someone more willing to help us in any way, even if they are not quite as connected to the Giants themselves."
Harry thought about this, their footsteps becoming the only thing they could hear once more. Tom decided to speak before Harry could.
"I discovered the main flaw, the greatest loophole, in the Ministry's approach to controlling Giants and other powerful magical creatures in my early years at Hogwarts. The Ministry has always treated these powerful beasts with distance, and a great lack of communication. They play to only one of many weaknesses of the creatures – their natural fear of pain."
"Wait, you don't think they should be put in pain, for training?" Harry asked quickly.
"No, I think that pain should be used amongst other persuasions," Tom clarified.
Harry wasn't particularly thrilled with this correction, so he let Tom carry on without comment.
"The Giants, mainly, need to believe that they are getting something useful out of helping us," Tom said. "The Dragons, due to their blatant lack of verbal communication skills, need not any more persuasion past a threat of pain and an offering of a reward if they comply with our wishes…"
"So, you're planning on stealing all of the Giants, Dragons, and whatever from different Ministries?"
"Yes, some of them," Tom said simply. "We shall do it rarely to begin, and only with the groups of creatures who blatantly aren't being watched. We'll have to keep them all well hidden while we train them, of course, with much magic protecting them so as to not draw the eyes of the Ministry, no matter what country we are in."
"You don't mean to say we'll do this on our own?" Harry asked, disliking the idea of trying to tame magical creatures with just Tom, or at all.
"No. Our friends will do it, for the most part," Tom said. "We will regulate it all, getting the others to watch the Ministries, the magical protection we have, and the creatures themselves as we do other things too."
"What happens when the Ministries work out what we're doing?"
"They might panic," Tom mused, "but we will be careful about it, and I'm sure it won't affect our research in the Dark Arts too much."
Tom seemed to think that smuggling massive, violent magical creatures out of the Ministries' grasp without them noticing was simple compared to the difficult endeavour of researching the Dark Arts as efficiently as he was planning to. After a few moments of thought, however, Harry wondered whether Tom was actually right in thinking this.
"What's your plan, for the creatures?" Harry asked carefully. He didn't think that Tom was planning on attacking any Ministries or anything just yet, but…
"With the long histories that these creatures hold, and the general lack of research and training that have been practiced upon them by Wizards, even when the beasts are in full captivity, we could learn a great deal from the Giants, Dragons, and a whole number of other creates," Tom said, appearing enthusiastic about the very idea of this all. "We could teach them new things, and they could teach us new things. We could even experiment with putting more magic into them, as a energy or in the shape of a spell–"
"But that sounds insanely dangerous," Harry interrupted. He was nervous about the idea of fifteen foot Giants, and Dragons of who knows what size, trying to fight against them and the Death Eaters, and putting up an even better fight thanks to the experimental magic they would be practicing upon them.
"Isn't the danger what makes it interesting?" Tom inquired.
Harry then noticed how Tom was becoming progressively more fanatical about the idea with every second. The fervent and inhuman smile was on his lips again, but Harry felt he was getting used to it now.
"We could create an entirely changed generation of magical beings," Tom said, "Changed to be far more powerful, through proper training or magical manipulation – it wouldn't matter which. They would be completely under our control, and we would be renown for our vital, our shocking, breakthroughs on the subject."
Harry didn't know what to say. He stopped walking, Tom having walked in front of him slightly to make him do so. He looked into Tom's eyes, which were burning with the fervency and happiness of his plans being revealed successfully. Harry knew that Tom hadn't purposely withheld this knowledge from him these last few years, he had merely never found the correct time to let all of his ideas out. Perhaps he hadn't even meant to tell Harry all of this at one time. He normally did these things slowly, as Harry knew.
Harry didn't know what to make of Tom's ideas. From what he could gather, it didn't sound as though Tom aspired to raise an army of more powerful creatures to murder Muggles and attack the Ministries… Not yet, anyway. It sounded more as though Tom wanted to unlock every secret that these fascinating beasts kept resolutely hidden. He wanted to gain their trust – perhaps in some twisted and manipulative way, perhaps not – and he wanted to train them to the best of his abilities, for the sake of research as well as protection.
The only thing that bewildered Harry was the knowledge that this was a mere side project to what they would be doing in five or ten years' time.
"We would end up learning a lot from them," Harry said slowly, moving to the side of Tom to continue waling. Tom's smile refreshed, and he followed.
"We could do endless research," he said. "We could have an enormous collection of magical creatures at our command, continuously growing in numbers, and we could teach many of our friends how to look after them well, to train the beasts better and better as the years pass by…"
Tom trailed off into thought, and Harry was left to do the same thing. The mention of a 'collection' had stricken a thought in his head, however, so his silence was short. He decided to approach the subject that bothered him at a light angle.
"So… that's why we're here?" Harry asked, "In Albania? To look for interesting and useful magical creatures to track, steal, keep, and train?"
There was a short pause, which would have gone unnoticed, had Tom not glanced at Harry in an attempt to read his face, his smile gone.
"It's one of the things that draw me here," Tom said quietly, "as well as the Witches and Wizards who reside in this land, who share a general interest in the Dark Arts, and the beauty of the country."
Harry wondered whether Tom sensed that he knew there was more to their visit. His enthusiasm at the idea of his plans was swiftly being exchanged for a calm, soft tone of voice, which suggested he was being careful with his words.
Tom hadn't yet explained the situation with the Diadem fully – in fact, he hadn't even mentioned the Diadem itself properly. Tom had given Harry hints to the fact that they were searching for something in the forests, but he hadn't explained anything, and Harry hoped that he wouldn't pretend that creatures were his only interest now. It worried Harry to think this.
"I mean, we can't just be searching for helpful beasts," Harry pointed out, "we could get any of the others to do that for us. Most of them aren't busy with any work, nor unwilling to do something so important for you."
"That's the point – this is an important job," Tom stated. Harry's heart sank. "To get another to do it for us would mean explaining to them most of what I just explained to you, and sharing plans so openly is always a dangerous thing to do, especially at such an early stage. They would need proof that we weren't merely sending them here for nothing, and they would attract more attention than us."
Harry could think of nothing to say. Was Tom trying to hide the idea of his Horcruxes? Was he hesitant to tell Harry anything more about them, perhaps because it was, as he had just said, 'always a dangerous thing to do, especially at such an early stage'? Harry was nervous about these ideas, these doubts in Tom's trust towards him. Did Tom not trust him enough to explain details on his Horcruxes? Did he think Harry knew too much already?
"There is also the fact that we needed somewhere to go," Tom added. He had been thinking, like Harry had, as they trudged onwards through the forest. They could see a lynx in the distance, which was rare for the wizarding forests, but not as astonishing to them now. Tom perhaps expected Harry to carry on from here, but Harry didn't.
"I thought it was a wise location, in my quick determination to think of a plan," Tom continued quietly. "It was far away, unexpected to someone like Dumbledore, or even our friends, and it yields many opportunities for us to get things done. To set up some plans for the future."
"You mean with finding Dragons and so on?" Harry asked attentively. "Or with the people we meet, and the research we can do?"
"With all of that," Tom said. There was a pause. He seemed to be trying to avoid something, and Harry hoped desperately that it wasn't the Diadem as a whole. "We also, obviously, needed to get away from the crimes we committed in England quickly. There was no point dawdling there."
Harry didn't know whether he should just ask Tom directly about the Diadem, for although mentioning the item itself would be an unwise thing to do, if he hinted towards the general subject maybe Tom would understand that he wasn't completely unaware of what was happening. On second thought, maybe Tom was waiting for a sign that Harry was able to catch onto the idea that something was a little off. Tom might be waiting to make sure that Harry wouldn't become anxious at the mention of murder again, to make sure that Harry was aware enough to see that he was hiding something…
"What are your plans with the objects you stole from Hepzibah?"
Tom appeared a little surprised with this question. He had kept the locket and cup stored and untouched in his trunk since arriving in Albania, and not much had been mentioned of them… Though, they had only been here for just over three weeks, Harry mused, and a lot of that time had been spent by him personally thinking about the death of Hepzibah, and generally worrying about it. Tom wasn't the type to approach a subject if he was unsure whether Harry was willing to take in what he wanted to say.
"I plan to make them into Horcruxes," Tom said honestly. The scenery around them was silent beyond the sound of their footsteps, almost as if the wildlife sensed Harry's foreboding.
Harry was about to comment on this, before he saw a mistake in Tom's words. "Horcruxes? You mean you can make more than one of them?"
Harry could tell that Tom regretted this slip.
"Well, it's been theorized that it is possible," Tom began quickly. He seemed a little put off, and Harry couldn't blame him. He wondered which of them was more surprised that Tom had overseen this one detail. "You've read a few books about it, as I know. Though it isn't mentioned commonly, I'm sure it's perfectly possible."
Harry was reluctant to think back to the time he had attempted to read up on Horcruxes. It had been a year since Tom told him about this way of immortality, so he had had a lot of time to build up the courage to open one or two of the volumes talking about it. However, any endeavour to begin learning the subject had been forcefully cancelled by Harry himself. The books were darker and more sinister than any other Harry had read before. He didn't enjoy it by any stretch of the imagination… Though he had to admit that the words of the books had stuck with him quite effectively, in their haunting way.
He pushed the thought out of his mind.
"It's been done before though, right?" Harry asked, knowing this was a question he would likely ask, if he hadn't known the answer already.
"There are theories and hints that strongly suggest that it has been done before," Tom assured him, blatantly discomfited with being asked this question. He was attempting a cool, tranquil tone, but Harry heard past it. "I began researching the subject the moment I read a suggestion of numerous Horcruxes – I've even gone so far as to ask Slughorn about it… I regret asking him, occasionally, but it was worth it, for I know now that it is perfectly possible."
In full honesty, Harry wasn't worried in the slightest about whether Tom would be unsuccessful in creating more than one Horcrux. He knew Tom would succeed, pushing the boundaries of such dark magic further than anyone before him. "Just tell me you know exactly what you're doing? You're completely sure of this?"
"I am," Tom said, "I promise. I wouldn't risk being immortal at the price of death."
Harry didn't doubt that. They were nearing the centre of the forest now, evident by the fir trees that Tom said resided only at the heart of the woods. They had been walking for a little over two hours now. Harry quite enjoyed these walks, but the fact that Tom was withholding something from him ruined his concentration on the beautiful scenery around them. They could see a pack of pure white, silver, and gold Unicorns slowly edging away from them in the distance.
"What items are you going to use for Horcruxes?" Harry asked. "That Journal you have, the locket, the cup, and the ring?"
"Not the ring," Tom said. "I want you to have it."
"I can still have it as your Horcrux," Harry pointed out.
"You know that's not what I mean."
Harry chose to ignore this comment. He knew that Tom would use the ring, in the end. "How many Horcruxes do you want to make? Just three?"
"Six," Tom answered honestly.
"The magic number," Harry observed quietly. "Counting the seventh piece of soul in you."
Tom smiled. "Which is a reasonable number, if I may say so myself…"
"But that means you have two or three more items to get," Harry remarked.
"Quite."
Tom did not elaborate, and Harry took this as a sign that he would need to press the subject more.
"We're looking for one now, aren't we?"
Harry waited apprehensively as Tom decided upon an answer for this. His smile had left him, and he seemed tense upon hearing this question. There was a long pause.
"Yes," he said, "We are lightly searching for it now."
Harry felt relieved, thankful, but also suddenly annoyed that Tom would wait this long to tell him if the answer would be given so simply. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
Tom glanced at Harry, plainly noticing his accusatory tone. He seemed surprised with Harry's reaction. "Why didn't I tell you that I was searching for an item to store a piece of my shattered soul in after the murder we committed just over three weeks ago?"
"I can take the murder," Harry said reproachfully.
Tom was watching Harry, and Harry again felt slightly annoyed by it. He hated to see Tom looking at him in concern, as if he was unable to be as strong as Tom was. Even with the fact that Tom probably had a lack of conscience, Harry suddenly disliked that he was being treated like an infant, and was no longer being trusted as much as he should be. But somehow, after reflection on these thoughts, Harry felt as though him feeling pure annoyance, and nothing else, didn't quite fit.
He was worried that Tom might become bored of him, due to Tom's recent inability to talk openly. Harry looked away from Tom as this thought struck him. He had seen Tom tiptoeing around him for the last fortnight because he was able to see that Harry wasn't very good at taking in Hepzibah's death. Tom didn't understand what Harry was feeling, but Harry knew he felt compelled to change something. Did he expect Harry to ever get over it? Or was he unsure, like Harry was, whether something like this could be accepted? Did he worry, as Harry worried, that this might tear them apart?
"I don't care if this connects to the murder again," Harry said quietly. "I just hate that you felt you had to hide this from me."
"I didn't feel that you were ready," Tom explained, his voice just as soft as Harry's. "I didn't want to tell you something that would make you further regret the death we caused."
Harry stopped walking, and Tom did the same, still watching him. Snow was beginning to fall. "You can tell me anything," Harry said, gazing up into Tom's handsome face. "If I can't take it, then… we can just work out another way, can't we?"
"There are very few other ways to the plans I make," Tom responded. "I cannot lie that there will always be an alternative path leading to the finishing point of my aspirations."
This remark managed to annoy and worry Harry to a greater extent. "So you're not willing to change anything?"
"I am willing to change some things," Tom said, "but I cannot promise constant satisfactory compromises for the both of us when you are reluctant to join me in everything I wish to do."
"Which means the same thing; you don't want to do anything for me," Harry asserted coldly, in an attempt to hide how this conversation was truly affecting him.
"It doesn't mean the same thing at all," Tom claimed. There was a suggestion of irritation in his voice too. "I can barely comprehend why you blatantly care about death so much, especially in your position, and I know this will lead us to a impossible point one day."
Tom's words distressed Harry, who remained staring at Tom, hardly able to fathom why he would say this at all. Did he not want to even help Harry in overcoming the shock of Hepzibah's death? Was he, as Harry feared dreadfully, getting bored of Harry's lagging upon the subject? Harry could feel a pain in his chest, but he chose to ignore it.
"So you chose Horcruxes over me, all in all?" Harry asked, trying hard not to care, and to mask the sorrow he felt. His eyes were burning lightly as he glared at Tom. "You chose researching the Dark Arts over me?"
Tom appeared as annoyed as Harry was, but he wouldn't allow himself to glower back at his lover. He was exasperated, evident by his tone of voice. "I chose you loving me for who I am over living a lie."
These words seemed to shock both of them equally as a silence fell. Despite the hateful tone Tom had used, hearing this thought aloud struck great desolation in both of them. Tom studied Harry, his eyes travelling over all of the features on his face. He might have been attempting to read what Harry was feeling, calculating how intensely these words had affected him. The sky was darkening, and thick snow was making its way through the tall trees.
Harry was speechless. It felt like a very long time later when Tom finally spoke, not a trace of indignation visible anymore. The forest was silent, and Harry was struggling to hide his despondency.
"Please don't force yourself to do this for me," Tom said in little over a whisper. "Don't hurt yourself over me, if you cannot proudly accept the crimes that I cannot mourn for in any small way, to repay past incidences, or the many ambitions I couldn't change at any price. I know it causes you pain to even think about either of us killing another – you cannot hide this fact from me. I couldn't bear to live with that forever if another option was available, one that wouldn't cause you pain."
"I'm not leaving you," Harry said the moment Tom had stopped speaking. His voice was shaking, but he no longer cared. He knew this is what Tom meant. "I won't leave you now, not after all this time –"
"It would be better now than later," Tom said, still watching Harry determinedly, "before I hurt you more with committing further crimes –"
"Why are you saying this?" Harry asked, shaken by this turn in conversation. "How can you even suggest any of this?"
He could feel anxiety mix with his sorrow and bewilderment. This felt worse than when he himself had suggesting that he should leave, and worse than his reflections on Hepzibah's death. Did the fact that he chose to stay even after his own suggestions of departure not prove that he was both unable and unwilling to even contemplate moving away from Tom?
"Please don't hide it if you want me to leave for other reasons," Harry whispered, his voice shaking more than ever. "If you're tired of me, and don't want to deal me anymore–"
"No," Tom interrupted; moving forwards subconsciously, "That isn't it."
"Then what it is?" Harry asked.
Tom seemed unable to answer this. He was evaluating his suggestion again, Harry knew, and Harry allowed him to do so for over a minute, before he found words again.
"I love you," Harry said, his voice stronger. "Please, just try to understand that I need more time to adapt to this."
Tom gazed at Harry, taking in what he had said with much caution. "I will learn to understand it," Tom assured him. "I love you more with each passing day. But promise me that you will without doubt adapt? Promise me there is hope that I won't cause you to suffer for an unbearable time?"
"I promise," Harry said. His heart was pounding in a terrible mix of emotion. He could see the expression upon Tom's face that he had only seen on rare occasions, when they both felt so much sorrow.
"You'll follow me?" Tom asked. "You'll accept what I do, and learn to do the same, eventually?"
There was pause. Harry looked up at Tom, examining his dark eyes, which were full of concern. Tom stared back at him, but spoke before he could give an answer.
"This is the final question of whether you can accept everything I do," Tom said. "We are forced constantly to have these horrible arguments, and we won't last much longer if we continued to ignore the fact that you are trying to find a way around the truth. It is too late for me to change, and I won't lie to you like this."
Harry didn't know what to say. They had argued like this too many times. They were forming a pattern, and Harry knew, as Tom did, that they would never get out of it at this rate. Harry could see no other option, unless he was to leave Tom. He wouldn't allow himself to leave Tom… As he had reflected too many times now, he just couldn't face being away from the wizard he loved so dearly.
"I'll stay with you," Harry whispered, "no matter what happens."
Tom appeared tentative to believe these words. He remained where he was, his lack of comment suggesting that he wanted Harry to know the sincerity of this final decision. "I won't stop murdering people," he said. "I won't cease to make Horcruxes, nor to despise Muggles, nor to go ahead my research on the Dark Arts. You will have to join me in all of this."
"I want to join you," Harry said. "Not because I enjoy any of it at all… but I love you."
Tom took the last few steps forwards, reaching for Harry's hand. "I love you too, Harry."
He was close to Harry now, their cold hands entwined and their visible breath quickened from their hammering hearts. Tom reached up a hand, to touch Harry's face. He slid his fingers along Harry's jaw slowly, then up to brush his hair behind his ear. "Don't hesitate to tell me, if you change your mind," Tom urged, evidently hating the idea, despite his suggestion.
"I'd tell you," Harry assured him quietly.
Harry relished in the feeling of Tom's fingers around his own, and upon his face. He knew it caused Tom pain to have this conversation, and it made him wonder whether his psychopathic ways were lessening, due to Harry or the soul within him. He knew he could never change Tom, or take him away from the Dark Arts, but Tom loved him, against all odds. Harry could barely believe it, but he knew it must be true.
Tom moved closer, to press his lips against Harry's softly. Harry knew he might be an idiot for choosing Tom over his moral senses, but he also knew that Tom wasn't just manipulating him. There were other, easier ways to do that, to get the same reactions from him. Tom's kiss made Harry feel better about everything. Their lips moved softly and slowly as they stood in the silent forest. Harry could hear and feel Tom's every intake and exhalation of breath, and could feel what Tom liked in their kiss, and how much. He could feel that, despite his uncertainty of the future, he would always have Tom, and he was the only thing that mattered anymore.
