Early April 2008
Alice didn't sleep at all the previous night. She tossed and turned the whole time and the moment she thought she'd finally be able to drift off to sleep she'd see flashes of some war zone coverage that she had been watching on the news lately. She found herself watching so much of the coverage lately. It was quickly becoming a toxic habit but she just had to learn as much as she could about the place her girlfriend was heading to. Most times Tasha would come home and try to distract the blonde from it but other times when the soldier was away at training Alice would spend her whole night with her eyes glued to the television.
So here she was. Wide awake. How could she sleep when in just a few hours her girlfriend; the woman she's been in love with almost all of her life was about to leave to go fight in one of the most dangerous places in the world. Not only that but her best friend, Shane was leaving as well. It was almost too much to handle. She was worried and terrified that she would never see Tasha or Shane again. Or that when she did they would be in a body bag. Alice shook that terrible thought from her head many times that night. All she could do to quell her bad thoughts was to snuggle herself against her girlfriend's chest as they laid in bed. Alice took close note of the way Tasha's slow but steady heart would beat against her chest, the soft intakes and exhales of breaths, even to the light snore the dark-skinned woman would let out every so often. She mentally saved the feeling of safeness and happiness she felt simply by being in the strong yet feminine arms of her lover. She knew that it was going to be some time before they'd be able to lay in each other's arms like this again and it scared her to her core.
Alice had already lost a friend of hers some years back. Alice and Dana had been best friends since first grade. The two had been through everything together. Dana was someone Alice knew she could always turn to no matter what. Alice had revealed things about herself and personal life to Dana, things that she hadn't even told her mother. The connection the two shared was beyond comparison. It sounds weird and crazy when she tells the story but Alice remembers the moment Dana died. The exact moment Dana was in the car accident that took her life. She knew her best friend was gone before anyone could break the news to her. It was like a knife to the heart. It was like a piece of her died right along with Dana. Alice was never able to find the same connection with anyone, not even Shane. And while the two were close it was nothing compared to what she had with Dana; that was until she met Tasha.
So as anyone could see, she as afraid of letting Tasha and Shane go off to a place where they would be putting their lives at risk 24/7. She told Tasha and herself that she would try to come to terms with things, it wasn't going over so well. While she was able to bite her tongue and keep the peace between them about the whole situation, Alice often times fought within herself. Going back and forth between wanting to support her girlfriend's decision to being vehemently against the decision. However, the blonde kept quiet, choosing to suffer in silence. Which was how she found herself in her current situation: wide awake, eyes red and watery with tears threating to spill out with just a few hours before her girlfriend had to leave.
Soon night turned into day, and to be honest Alice hadn't even noticed. She wouldn't be able to think about it for long because the alarm clock was going off and her lover was stirring. The blonde couldn't help the pathetic whimper that she released as her girlfriend got up to get ready for the day ahead. The two women didn't talk to each other much as Tasha packed her things. Most of the time Alice just tried to stay out of the soldier's way, she could tell Tasha was going through her own mental things; preparing her own self for the journey ahead. Only commenting here and there about the articles of clothing the soldier was going to take.
The drive to the airport was probably even quieter, neither woman said a word, they only held hands with a few solemn glances exchanged between them. Alice told herself throughout the whole drive there that she was not going to break down before Tasha left. How she was going to act once her girlfriend had boarded the plane was another thing, however, she was NOT going to break down, she could not break down before Tasha left...Yeah, that didn't go so well.
As soon as they realized it was time for them to part Alice broke down. The tears that had been threatening to spill all night came streaming down her face and she couldn't hide the pain on her face. They decided that it would be best for them to part at the car; didn't want to get too messy in front of a coward. Y'know just in case.
Alice has Tasha's top in a vice grip, she's wrinkling it but she honestly doesn't care because she's not ready to let her go. "I love you." Her voice cracks pitifully as the words slip from her lips and it makes Tasha's resolve break and before she can stop herself her own tears are flowing down her face. A full minute passes by before the raven-haired woman is confident enough in herself to allow herself to talk without her voice quivering. A few stolen kisses made up for the lapse of course.
"I love you more." Came a quiet response, a swift reassuring kiss following close behind. "To the stars and back," She finished. "I'm going to call as soon as I can."
"Promise?" Alice asked, her voice impossibly small. She had placed her head against the soldier's chest, an action she was rarely able to do while they were standing considering their slight height difference. However Tasha's combat boots and Alice's lack of heels today made it possible for this moment.
"I promise." Tasha swallowed. She herself wasn't sure when exactly that was going to be. Could be tomorrow, could be in a few days. She knew the road ahead was going to be tough for the both of them. They were both going to be facing their own hardships, separately, which was the most terrifying part. The thought of not being able to come home to her love at the end of the night was something that scared her. Luckily she was going to have Shane with her, otherwise, she knew she wasn't going to make it through.
Tasha took a quick glance down at her wristwatch, they had about 10 minutes before it was time for them to part. It was now or never. She took a deep breath. "Alice, will you marry me?"
There was a long pause and Tasha wasn't sure if she had even asked the question out loud. Then after another beat, Alice responded a bit taken aback, "What?" The blonde pulled away from the embrace of her girlfriend so that she could look at her face to face.
"Will you marry me?" Tasha fished the engagement ring from her pocket as she kneeled in front of the blonde woman, "Alice, I know things are not going to be easy from here but the sheer fact that you are here and willing to stick by my side through it all makes me love you more than I ever thought possible. I know promise is an incredibly difficult word for us considering but this is my promise to you at least for now that I'm coming back, that I'm going to fight every day to make sure I come back to you in one piece, because I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Yes," Alice answered calmly. An almost strange calm washed over her. The future was unclear and scary but the idea of spending it with the kneeling woman made everything else seem small.
With that, a few happy tears were shed and soft lingering kisses were exchanged before the raven-haired woman was off on her way and was Alice off in the opposite direction.
