Chapter 13
They were waiting for me just outside the dining room. Draco took my arm and led me in, while his father did the same with his mother. The dining room was grand, with magnificent crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, polished and gleaming in the candlelight. Two massive fireplaces flanked the room, and finely woven tapestries hung from the walls. The table was only set for four, though it could easily seat over fifty. I was seated at the right of Mr. Lucius Malfoy, in the place of honor.
Smalltalk about Hogwarts occurred over the oysters and the consommé courses, which shifted to my life in America and Salem Witches Academy over poached salmon, and then Cornish game hens dressed in butter and herbs. By the time the lamb arrived, drizzled with mint sauce and accompanied by roasted vegetables, the conversation had taken a turn for the dark.
"He was getting old, and wasn't well. Severus Snape is a much better headmaster than he ever was, in my opinion." Lucius paused to have some lamb. "You are lucky that you arrived now, Jessica. Hogwarts is improving."
"I haven't any experiences to compare it to, but I quite like it so far." I had never had lamb before. It was delicious. I tried to pace myself. There were still two courses to go. "I hear it's getting similar to Durmstrang."
"We wanted to send Draco to Durmstrang, but he would have been too far. They only allow half-bloods and purebloods there." He looked at me, trying to gauge my reaction. I shrugged.
"I think that makes sense. I'd like it if Hogwarts was that way, but I heard that Dumbledore was very fond of muggle-borns."
"He was, yes." Narcissa relaxed, and Lucius seemed visibly calmer. Draco looked downright pleased. It had been the right thing to say, obviously.
"That could change, if Hogwarts is changing, as you say. Probably not before I graduate, but I would still like to see it happen." I finished my lamb, and put down my knife and fork. The plate whisked away on its own, and was immediately replaced with a plate of pate and cheeses. "I assume that I will have children- several of them, it is part of my duty to the throne- and I would like Hogwarts to be a place I want to send them. Eventually."
"That makes perfect sense." Lucius took a bit of some cheese. "You have to think about this sort of think earlier than anyone else, because of your position."
"Yes, but I do not mind." Finally, the last course appeared, treacle sponge with vanilla mousse. I had never eaten a more decadent or massive meal in my life, and I was glad it was over. It was also one of the most uncomfortable meals I had ever eaten, lying casually the whole time. Very glad indeed.
We retreated to the drawing room afterwards. I was quite sleepy from the food, adding little to the conversation. There was another thing that was bothering me. I could almost hear something, so faint that I was sensing it more than hearing it. I shook my head. It probably wasn't nothing; in fact, it was probably something very important. But that's what I was here for. To find information.
I had gone to the library after dinner. The candles were not lit, so I enchanted a little light to follow me around. I looked over the dusty spines, tomes on history, on Malfoys, Blacks, and other wizards. I felt along the walls and the floors, testing for trap doors or secret passageways. I knelt down to examine what looked like a seam in the floor.
"Jessica?" I immediately straightened up, blushing. It didn't help that my dress was rather tight, and I had been bending over. If it was Draco, that wouldn't have been a problem. However, it was Lucius Malfoy who stood behind me. "Are you looking for something?"
"Ah, yes, I, ah, my… my earring fell out." I immediately touched my ear and removed the silver hoop. I made a show of putting it back in my ear. "I've found it, though."
"Good." He moved beside me, into the light I had cast. "How do you like the library?"
"I've always loved books. Yes, I like it. Very much." He looked over the volumes, running a hand over the spines, until he stopped on one.
"This one is a favorite of mine." He pulled down a small leather volume. It wasn't a history, as I expected, but looked more like a novel. I moved closer, waving my wand to have the light illuminate the book. It was well-worn, the title reading in faded gold letters; The Tales of Toregg. "Have you read it?"
"No, I'll have to see if the Hogwarts library has a copy."
He nodded, placing the book back on the shelf. "Draco doesn't take much interest in books. I didn't when I was his age, either. Young men have other things on their mind." He turned to me, looking me over. "So many other things." I nodded, uncomfortably unsure of what he meant. He lightly touched my shoulder, his hand cool, and guided me out of the library. "Shall we go back to the drawing room?"
Lucius and Narcissa retired after a little while, so Draco and I sat on the couch in front of the fire. At first I was very careful; all of the furniture must have been priceless; but I was tired, it was soft, and soon I was slumped into the corner, curled into a ball, snoozing. Draco was absently stroking the part of my calf exposed by my dress pulling up. "You're falling asleep."
"Hnurgh."
"That was attractive."
"Alright, I'll do better." I demurely closed my eyes and laid my hand on my forehead. "Alas, my dear Draco, I am weary, and I must retire. Is that good?"
"Much better." He rolled his eyes at me, then leaned down to kiss me on the forehead. "Really, though. Go to bed."
"Good idea." I stumbled to my feet, swaying slightly. There had been a lot of wine at dinner. That was probably why I was so sleepy. "Good night, Draco."
"Good night." He stared into the fire. I left, closing the door carefully behind me. After much confusion, I found my room, replaced my elaborate dress with soft pajamas, and crawled into bed.
The next few days went similarly. I would spend time with Draco throughout the day, play around on the harp, bundle up and explore the grounds, try to befriend peacocks, and take my meals with his parents and him. I had little time alone, but that was alright. I was piecing things together, very slowly. Things would change around from day to day. There was a door in the drawing room that I obviously wasn't supposed to see, the tapestry drawn back to reveal it for just a second. Voices that I wasn't supposed to hear. And a presence, a presence I could sense, even though there seemed to be nothing there. I did not write anything down, in case someone went through my things. I simply remembered it. Yes, the house was usually a base for death eaters. I learned that at the end of my first week, after overhearing Lucius talking to Narcissa. He didn't seem happy about it. I learned that You-Know-Who was often here himself, but was not now because they wanted to see where my loyalties lie. I was fairly convincing about that. I wouldn't openly insult muggle-borns, but I did mention that they were not "true witches and wizards." I was not hateful, merely condescending. And that was enough for me, and, it seemed, everyone else. For now.
"We're going out tonight."
"What?" I was curled up in a window seat in the library, a book in my lap. Going out. I hated those words.
"Going. Out. Tonight. You and me. For dinner."
"Oh. Did you just decide this, or were you going for a surprise?"
"Second option." He sat down on the edge of the window seat. "And… I'd like you to wear the red dress."
I cocked an eyebrow at him. "I was wondering how that ended up in my bag, you sly dog." He didn't look abashed; in fact, he looked rather satisfied with himself. I shrugged, closing my book. "I'm assuming it's somewhere dreadfully fancy."
"It's not dreadful…"
"It's a phrase, dear. I don't think it'll be dreadful at all." I knew that Draco didn't particularly enjoy the formality of his life, but he loved to show off. He could afford magnificent meals and beautiful clothing, and he wanted to make sure I knew that. He was peacocking. It was his personality. I dreaded the thought of what he got me for Christmas. "Where are we going, anyway?"
"The Abraxan Tavern. It's not actually a tavern anymore, one of the oldest restaurants in England."
"Oh my."
He leaned forward and kissed me. "So, yes. Dreadfully fancy."
"This will be interesting."
"I hope so." He kissed me again, and then retreated. "Come on, lunch is ready."
"Lovely."
That night, I was wearing the costume dress in my room. I felt like a very expensive prostitute. I carefully straightened my hair and applied more Sleekeazy's than usual, swiping mascara on my lashes and red lipstick on my lips. Along with shiny black stilettos and a black overcoat, I was ready to go.
Draco was waiting for me in the entrance hall. His mother commented on how lovely I looked, and I was glad that my coat covered most of the scandalous dress. I thanked her, and then Draco and I apparated to London.
I was particularly reluctant to relinquish my coat to the man at the coatroom, but I had to, at risk of looking like a flasher. I could feel the eyes on me as we were escorted through the dining room. Draco declined his family's usual table in favor of a booth. I was surprised they had a usual table at all. We were seated, Draco sitting across from me. When the server left, he leaned in and whispered, "You know, there's something I want to tell you."
"Oh?"
"It's just that my parents don't want you to know it. They don't trust you enough yet. But I do." He looked around, but there was no one around us. It could have been for dramatic effect, knowing Draco. "My father and I… we are in the service of the Dark Lord."
I took a moment to act adequately shocked. "Oh… um, how do I say this… I kind of figured that out."
"You did?" He looked surprised.
"I mean, I didn't know of course, you're confirming it for me. But your feelings towards muggle-borns, your penchant for long sleeves, your… general attitude… I mean, I don't mind, if that's what you're worried about.?"
"You don't?"
"I mean… no?" I shook my head, leaning forward and laying my hand on his. "I share those values. Obviously I wish it could be done without all of the death, because I'm a bleeding heart. But I agree. With you. I have to keep up the muggle-loving façade for the public," I snarled. "Can you imagine the press if I didn't? I have to play the part. They expect me to be someone like my parents. Well, I'm not like them. I'm different." I lowered my voice to a whisper. "You don't know what it's like. You obviously have a lot to hide yourself, but me? I have to be politically correct at all times. I'm sure there are plenty of students who would sell stories Daily Prophet. And then what? The public is not ready for it. Not yet, at least." I smiled slightly. "Though I'm assuming through your master's work, that might change soon."
"We… yes. We're working on it. It's going well."
"Good." I smiled. "Oh, lovely, the soup's here."
Draco seemed to be in a state of shock for a while, speaking little and staring a lot. Obviously he had not expected my reaction. He returned to normal about halfway through the main course, and by dessert, he was positively chatty. "Are you ready to go now?"
"Yes, I think so." I fidgeted anxiously. Standing up would be a bother. I had inconspicuously covered my legs with the long white tablecloth in an effort to keep warm. Draco took my arm, and I walked out in as dignified a manner as I could manage, despite the height of my heels. I had practiced for weeks around the dormitory, pacing around until I didn't wobble anymore.
I got my coat, and Draco led me outside. He kissed me. I was a little embarrassed, since we were in public. "Draco, there are people around!"
"I know." He kissed me again, and with a crack, we apparated back to Malfoy Manor.
It was late, and there were no lights on. I managed the gravel drive as best I could in my shoes, and Draco silently opened the door. "Spooky," I whispered. Draco rolled his eyes at me. We tiptoed up the staircase, and finally arrived at the door to my room. He pressed me against the door and kissed me, again. He seemed to have a thing for that. He wrapped one arm around my waist and buried the other hand in my hair, pulling me close against him. I pulled back, and took his face in my hands. "Draco."
"Hm?" He didn't let go.
"I… I'm not going to sleep with you tonight. I don't want to get your hopes up about that. But… come in anyway."
He looked confused and more than a little disappointed, but I opened the door and pulled him in, softly closing it. I pulled him closer, softly biting his bottom lip and pulled at the front of his shirt. He moaned quietly. He placed his hand on my breast, stroking it gently. I slipped off his jacket and started unbuttoning his shirt. Once he figured out what I was doing, he practically ripped it off. He slipped a finger under the knot in the corset of my dress, and without hesitating, pulled it loose. I stepped out of it and into the moonlight. The fabric was so tight and clingy that I couldn't wear any undergarments, and was naked but for my heels. He stared at me for a moment. "Wow."
"Thank you," I said, blushing. I kicked off the heels and moved towards him. "You're pretty wow yourself." He was skinny, but years of Quidditch had given him some muscle definition. I ran one finger down his chest, his stomach, down to where soft blond hair led down into his trousers. "Now why are these still on?"
"I… ah. Yes." He kicked off his shoes and hurriedly removed the rest of his clothes. He was uncircumcised, I noticed, and very hard. I grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the bed. We spent a very long time exploring each other's bodies. He was gentle, running his fingertips over my shoulder, across the curve of my hip, and very softly along the inside of my thigh. He turned me onto my back and kissed me again, and for the first time, he slipped his fingers between my legs to touch me. I gasped and shuddered, reaching out to pull him in for a kiss.
As he continued to rub around my clit in circles, I tentatively reached down to touch his cock. It was hard and hot, the skin silky. I ran my thumb around the head, and he moaned again. I gripped the shaft with my fist, slowly moving it up and down. He sat up, gasping "Faster." I did, pulling him in for a kiss as I gripped him tighter, moving faster. He moaned, turning me on my side and grabbing my breast, hungrily grasping at my body. He broke the kiss to whisper in my ear, "Use your mouth." I was confused for a moment. I took my hand from his cock and moved down the bed, so that I was lying between his legs. Tentatively, I licked his cock from base to tip. He moaned again. I took the head in my mouth, sucking on the tip. I stroked the shaft with one hand, moving in in tandem with my mouth. He threw his head back and gasped. He propped himself up on one elbow so that he could watch, holding my hair back with his other hand, thrusting slightly with my movement. I don't know how much time passed, but between jerking him off with my hands and licking and sucking his cock, my jaw and wrists were aching by the time he finally came. I was sucking on the head, and was so surprised at the rush of liquid in my mouth that I almost jerked backwards. He sat upright, breathing heavily and gently holding my head. I swallowed, then sat upright in front of him, shyly tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"So…"
He said nothing, just grabbing me and kissing me. "That was amazing," he whispered through the kisses, pulling me down so that we were lying side by side. "Really. It was."
"Thank you. You're welcome." He smiled, pulling me close. I was surprised. I didn't expect him to be a cuddler. I draped my arm around his waist, turning my head up to kiss is cheek. "You can stay if you want to. But I'm not changing my mind about what I said earlier."
"Hm?"
"Your penis and my vagina are not going to be acquainted yet."
"You make it sound strange like that." He shifted, kissing me on the top of my head. "But I can introduce it to other things. I have hands. And a mouth."
"Oh. Right. You do."
He was good on his word that night. I had never been touched that way before, though obviously he knew what he was doing. He stayed the whole night, sleeping next to me, usually curled around me with his arm around my waist. I stared into the gloom for most of the night. I wasn't falling in love with Draco; I knew that much. But I felt… dirty. He was a Death Eater. I was only pretending to be. The thing that made me feel the most guilty was that I was actually enjoying myself. I bit my lip, trying to blink away the tears that were forming. I would not cry. I had to be strong. And besides, I was doing what I had to do, and why not enjoy it?
Because it was wrong, that's why.
