"No, no, no," said Viper, rubbing her head with a frustrated groan, before kneeling down next to her student. Her finger jabbed at the offending portion of the map currently laid out across the floor. "You're supposed to be planning an infiltration, not a full-out assault. Knocking out the guards with a 'Chan-Clan buttwhooping' isn't going to do anything but switch on the alarms."
She traced her finger down the stenciled out corridor, before tapping it on the junction between the halfway and an out of the way service entrance. "What you should be doing is trying to get access to the security room, so you can bug the cameras, and wipe yourself from the system."
"But that's boring!" said Jade, in what was becoming an increasingly familiar complaint. "No action, no fighting, it's basically hours of snore central."
"Yeah, squirt, that's the idea," said Viper, only to sigh when she saw Jade's uncomprehending expression. After a moment of thought, she shook her head and laid her hand on Jade's shoulder. "Listen kid, being a super-thief is plenty exciting on its own - the last thing you need is getting law enforcement involved on top of that. That means being careful, being cautious, and being quiet; the ideal heist is where they never knew you were involved at all."
"But how are people supposed to know how awesome I am if I never show them how cool I can be?" whined Jade.
"Trust me, Jade, fame is overrated," said Viper. "Especially if you wanna enjoy the spoils of all your heists after you're done." She rose to her feet, dusting off her knees. "Now, why don't you work out a way to get in through the ventilation, while I get us some snacks."
She wandered over to the kitchen, but paused in the doorway just long enough to listen for the sound of mutinous grumbling, and the scratching of pencil against paper. She stepped into the kitchen, still smiling, only to pause when she saw Jackie leaning against the counter, a pensive expression on his face.
"Hey babyface," she said, swiftly overcoming her surprise as she wandered over to the fridge. "What's got your shorts in a twist?"
"Hm…" He made a thoughtful sound, before shaking his head and giving her a frank look. "I'm not sure I approve of Jade learning how to be a super thief."
Viper stamped on a twinge of resentment. Jackie didn't mean anything by it, she knew he didn't mean anything by it, because if he did he wouldn't be giving her the chance to explain… even if it still stung that he only ever seemed to think of her as a thief.
"Don't think of it as teaching her to be a super thief," she retorted as she tugged open the fridge, and pulled out a tray of tarts that she'd baked earlier. "Think of it as teaching her how to think before she leaps."
"Yes, because thinking about how to steal things is so much better.'
Okay, that was a step too far, she decided as she kicked the fridge shut and shot him a glare. "You know, if you're gonna insult me, you might as well tell it to me straight. You aren't suited for dancing around the subject, Babyface."
"What?" said Jackie, before realization dawned. "No!' he blurted out, his hands waving frantically. "I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about Jade!"
Viper put the brakes on her anger, and gave him a considering look. "Gonna explain what you mean by that?" she said.
"It's just…" He trailed off, shaking his head and tossing his hands up in frustration. "I'm worried that Jade will want to be a thief, like you," he eventually admitted. "Because she thinks it's fun, or cool…only, she won't think about the risks, or the cost. I'm afraid that she'll leap without looking, again, and get herself into trouble that I can't just punch out of the way."
Viper tried her best, she really did, but even a monk would have burst into laughter at that moment, practically doubling over from the force of her cackling.
Jackie only watched, nonplussed, as Viper struggled to keep her feet in between her gales of laughter. "I understand that you might feel differently about that," he said, his voice as flat as his expression. "But I was hoping for a little bit of sympathy."
"I"m sorry, I'm sorry," she gasped, still clutching her sides. "It's just…do you seriously think that Jade, your niece, is gonna turn into some sort of super thief?"
"Well, yes?" said Jackie, now puzzled. "She talks about being an agent, but being a thief would be easier, and faster," he explained. "No age limit for committing crime, after all."
And when he put it like that, it almost made sense, because he was right- there was no lower limit for thievery, and Viper knew that better than most. But at the same time, it was still hilarious, because he had no idea…
"Jackie," she eventually said, once she'd gotten the worst of the laughter under control. "Jade is never going to be a thief. Not like me."
"But how can you be sure?" he protested. "Jade never listens, she's always going where she shouldn't, getting into trouble-"
"Yeah, but that's…it's not…" Viper fell quiet, struggling for the right words. She knew what she wanted to say, but she also had to make sure that Jackie was hearing the right thing, too. "Jade…might not listen, might not obey," she said slowly, still feeling out the words in her head. "But it's not because she likes causing trouble, it's because she has too much energy, and she's struggling not to bounce off of the wall."
Jackie listened, his face focused and quiet.
"And…" she hesitated a little longer, before frowning and just going for it. "You know why she keeps pulling all of these stunts, right?"
"Because she regards me as slightly less important than a piece of furniture?" said Jackie, only half joking, but Viper was already shaking her head.
"No, baby face, she does it because she wants to help people," she explained. "Me, you, the world, she wants to help everyone, and she doesn't see why anyone would get in the way of that."
She smiled, though the expression quickly turned into a frown as old guilts rose up. "You can't be a thief without being at least a little bit selfish, Jackie," she admitted, turning away. "You have to decide that your wants, your needs, are more important than everyone else's."
She heard Jackie's hesitant steps, and braced herself for another careless comment about how he always knew she was selfish, that's what you get when you're a thief, the whole rigmarole…she was unprepared for the soft hand which landed on her shoulder. "You didn't seem very selfish when you joined the J-team," he said.
She smiled, and let out a little laugh. "Oh, I was never a monster, not like the Dark Hand," she said, still facing the door. "I just…didn't care about other people very much." She shot Jackie a wan smile over one shoulder. "You're not the first time I ended up tricking a 'partner'."
"Well, for what it's worth, I think saving the world a time or two more than makes up for it," he replied, stepping forward to shoot her a smile. "And…" he added in a lower voice. "If Jade ever did end up being a thief, I can't think of a better teacher for her than you."
"Whoa! Do you mean it?!" Belatedly, the two of them looked up to see Jade standing in the doorway, her eyes wide with shocked delight. A moment later she had turned and darted away, her voice echoing back to them, "Uncle, Tohru, Jackie says he's gonna let me study how to be a thief with Viper!"
"I only said *if* you ever became a thief!" Jackie protested, disappearing after her. "If! I wasn't giving you permission to start stealing, Jade!"
And as Viper watched them go, uncle and niece rampaging through the house, she found herself helpless to do anything but laugh and laugh and laugh…
