XI. Stubborn As Always
'The older I get, will I get over it? It's been way too long for the times we missed. I didn't know then it would hurt like this.'
—'The Older I Get' by Skillet
Outside of Kijuju, Africa
March, 2009
Of all the things he could say or simply think of, his mind felt blank. Wesker was dead, Jill was alive, and Sheva wouldn't look at him. Chris had no idea what he did to make her shy away from his gazes. It wasn't the type of shy that guys hoped to receive from beautiful women like her, but a shyness that made it seem she couldn't stand looking at him. She would talk to him and look at him for the entirety of the mission—they'd even hold each other's gaze longer than professional partners should have. But once Jill and Josh saved them from the sinking volcano rocks, she stayed at the corner of the helicopter and gazed out the window like she was really thinking about something.
He looked to Jill; studying her new appearance. She had blonde hair now, her figure looked more muscular than it was two years ago and her eyes were almost colorless. As the silence filled the helicopter, both women shut up and stayed wrapped up in their own worlds. Josh was communicating with HQ while flying the copter and Chris was left to stare at the floor and steal glances at the women sitting across from him.
His gaze darted from the floor to Sheva when she shifted and leaned against the window, still staring at the waters below them. All he wanted to know was what was possibly going through her head. Was she still angry when the question he had wanted to ask came out way different than how he intentionally meant it? He hoped not. He really didn't mean to make it seem like he didn't trust Josh. Well, he did and didn't. With Jill, Chris completely trusted him to take care of his old partner, but with Sheva, he didn't know. He didn't know what to think anymore.
Josh called from the cockpit that they'd be landing in about 25 minutes. Jill just nodded whereas Sheva barely moved.
Feeling the need to say something, Chris leaned forward until he was resting his elbows on his knees. "It's over."
Sheva looked to him with wary eyes but they softened when she understood what he meant. "Yes," was all she could say. Needing to look away from Chris, she looked to Jill on her side.
"Finally," the blonde added.
Sheva nodded to Josh when he looked back at her. He could tell something was up with his little sister. She was quiet when usually after finishing a mission she'd be animated to know that she was going home and that she had just finished something important for the people. But now she was like a statue sitting by the window. Josh gestured with a nod of his head that he wanted to talk to her. He could see that she sighed, but she stood and started making her way to him in the swaying helicopter.
Sheva was about to walk between Chris and the empty seat to get to Josh when Chris stopped her. She looked down to find that he had his hand on her hip, holding her from moving forward. Quirking an eyebrow, she looked into his brown eyes that looked to be considering something.
"Yes?"
Chris wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to ask her, he just wanted her to look at him again. Keeping his hand on her hip, he whispered to her, "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she responded a little too quickly.
Feeling his shoulders become heavier, he let his hand drop. "You don't seem fine."
"I'm just tired, Chris. It's been a long day."
He could agree on that, but he still didn't understand the cold attitude. What had he done that made her so guarded? It was driving him insane. He held his left fist in his right palm and like a child, looked away from her. He just needed to know, so he asked her. "Are you mad at me?"
Sheva was guilty that she was making him feel troubled. She didn't mean to make him feel that way, but the idea that he only came to Africa to find Jill and not for her people who were in danger made her want to distance herself. But seeing the anxious expression on his face as he looked to the floor, she kneeled down and got to eye level with him.
"I'm not mad at you, Chris."
Goosebumps rose all over his body when she rested her hand on his knee. That had to be the most intimate touch she had given him yet. Yet?
He still couldn't look her in the eyes. "It just seems you don't want to talk to me."
Despite her uncertainty of him, she couldn't hold back the weak chuckle at his reasoning and expression. "I'm just so tired that I don't think I can have a cohesive conversation right now."
"But you are now."
She looked down at her hand on his knee, not attempting to move it. "That was the most intense mission I've ever been on, Chris. Surely you can understand."
With a slight furrow to his brow, he nodded. Before either could say more, he placed his least clammy hand atop hers. Hers remained flat on his knee as he rubbed his thumb on the back of her hand, feeling the softness of her skin. He held back a sigh as he realized how much smaller her hand was than his. His dwarfed hers. His whole body dwarfed her.
"As long as you're not mad at me," he murmured, looking at her. The heaviness that seemed to be his best friend in the past day hit him hard when he saw the hesitant look on her face as she stared at their hands. Reluctantly but quickly, he pulled his hand away. "I'm sorry," he couldn't stop himself from saying.
Sheva seemed to be frozen for a moment and then she shook her head; trying to clear her head and declining his apology. "Don't apologize," she mumbled. Feeling the need to change the subject, she pulled her hand away and stood. "What was it you wanted to ask me earlier?"
He felt as if his heart was breaking as she backed away from him. He just had to go and hold her hand. Dumbass. Shaking his head, he refused to ask her the question. He still wanted to know, but he wasn't sure for one—he wasn't sure if she'd answer him. Two—having Josh just a few feet away would be an awkward situation if he heard. And three—with how his entire being felt that she was putting walls up against him, he wasn't sure confirming that she had something with Josh would give him peace. More like a hurting organ in his body and a shitty mood for a while.
While Chris's heart hurt of rejection, Sheva's heart hurt of discovery. When he had touched her hand, her heart went haywire and wouldn't stop punching her ribcage. Something grew and roared in her body and it wasn't something she had ever felt. She felt like her body was going to explode when their skin touched and that she was going to melt and seep through the cracks in the floor into the water below.
When she was a little girl, about the age of 7, her mother had told her about how she felt about her father. They had just watched 'Gone with the Wind' and when Rhett walked off in the end and left Scarlett, Sheva cried because it wasn't the happy ending she had always loved. So her mother cuddled her up in her arms and told her a happy story about when she first met her father.
It was a hazy memory, but the one thing she remembered was when her mother described the first time she felt something for her father. She claimed her entire body rose to flames but the sound was muffled around her. And she knew then that she loved this man and she would marry him and have his children. And that's what happened. They got married and had Sheva. But they didn't get the happy ending.
Trying to expel the feeling from her body, she looked to Chris who was staring at his hands. What the hell did he just do to her? Without saying another word, she scooted around him and took a seat beside Josh in the cockpit. She shook her head when Josh gave her an inquisitive look, obviously aware something was going on with her. She patted his arm to signal that she'd tell him later and sunk into the seat, pulling her legs to her chest and hiding her face. She couldn't hear the blades of the helicopter, she couldn't hear Josh talking to HQ and she couldn't hear the tapping of Chris's shoe in the back. All she could hear was a high pitched whistle in her ears and the constant thumping of her heart.
Los Angeles, USA
November, 2011
Of all the things in the world, paperwork was the thing Chris despised most. He always left it to the end of the week to do, but then the procrastination would always nag him and he'd end up with a huge pile. Despite hating it, he didn't mind staying late at the office. It meant that he'd avoid the reminder of his failing relationship with Jill.
He was down to his last paper when his phone buzzed with a new text message:
Don't forget about tomorrow, big brother. Thanksgiving is the only time of the year that I don't complain about having to cook. And don't forget the cranberry sauce! You forgot last year.
The message was right about a few things. He almost did forget that tomorrow was Thanksgiving, Claire never complained about cooking on the holiday, and he did forget about the cranberry sauce last year. He still hadn't gotten it but he'd get it on the way over to her place tomorrow. He replied to his sister and let her know he and Jill were coming.
Finishing his paperwork, the clock read a little past 11pm. He turned off everything in his office and readied himself to be in the presence of Sheva. Jill was already at home and everyone was out of the office, save for a few workers, Sheva and himself.
When he knocked on her office door he got no response. He knocked again but no one replied from inside. He announced that he was coming in and felt silly right after speaking. It's not like she'd be indecent in her office. Or would she? Shaking his head, he opened the door and held back a chuckle when he got a look at her.
The only light on in Sheva's office was the lamp on her desk. Papers were scattered all over the surface and her keyboard. It seemed that she was working, but she was now passed out in her chair. Her legs were folded to the side in her seat, a file laid in her lap, and her head and arms rested on the arm rest. She looked so small all curled up in the office chair that it almost pained Chris to wake her up.
He kneeled in front of her and called her name a few times, but she was dead to the world in peaceful sleep. Giving up calling her name, he gently shook her shoulder a few times.
"Sheva, wake up," he spoke softly.
A sleepy moan sounded and her tired eyes opened to slits to see who was waking her. She opened her eyes slowly and when she realized where she was, she sat up in a jolt, causing the files to fall off her lap. She and Chris leaned down at the same time to retrieve the files but bonked their heads together in the process.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry," she quickly apologized. Without thought, she put a hand to his forehead and frowned. He made no move to push her hand away as he set the file back in her lap.
"That was graceful," he mumbled, still letting her touch him. She still looked tired in the dim light and it almost seemed she was ready to pass out again. "Are you all right?"
Nodding, she let her hand fall and went to clean her desk and put the papers in a neat pile to the side. "Just tired. I think the jetlag is really affecting me."
"Well let's get you home so you can go sleep it off." He stood and held his hand out for her as she stood on sleepy legs. As he led her out of the office, Sheva's phone chimed the default tri-tone and informed her of a new text message. It was from Claire and it read:
You better be coming to Thanksgiving tomorrow. If not, well, I know where you live. No, I'm kidding. :) Oh, do you think you could pick up some cranberry sauce? I asked Chris but that's basically asking Smokey the Bear for a lighter in the middle of a wooded area. It ain't happenin'.
Sheva spoke the message aloud and Chris's only response was a roll of the eyes. She giggled as she locked her office and asked him about it.
"It was only last year that I forgot. But she won't let me live it down," he grumbled as they made way for the building's exit.
"If there's one thing I learned about Claire, it was that she can hold a grudge like nobody I've ever met," Sheva commented. Chris chuckled and agreed. That was exactly like Claire to hold a grudge and hold it over your head until you admitted fault. It was oddly one of her more charming qualities.
Sheva was so tired that all she could focus on was putting one foot in front of the other. As she raised her eyes from the ground, she realized they were in the parking lot already and she was walking in front of Chris. He wanted to laugh at her slow and careful movements, but held back the urge because he could see she was truly tired. As she was about to pass up his car, he knew that she hadn't recognized it. So, to wake her up, as she was passing the rear of his Jeep, he pressed the lock button twice on the keychain remote, causing the horn to honk. This time he couldn't stop the laugh when she yelped and jumped a little from the sudden alertness.
"That was rude," she pouted as she stepped to the passenger's side.
Unlocking the car, he got into the car as she was buckling her seatbelt. "It was funny."
"No. Rude."
"No. Funny."
He laughed again when she stuck her tongue out at him. It reminded him of when they were looking at the home that she now owned and how he was teasing her about having the fattest cat, Marvin. The argument seemed to be over when she leaned against the door and became quiet with the only exception of steady breathing. He felt slightly bad that he had woken her up in her office when she looked so peaceful all curled up in her chair. Oddly enough, he grew slightly angry with Lewis King to give her so much work on her third day in the office. He looked to her when he heard her sigh and pulled her legs to her chest as she fell back asleep in the car seat beside him.
So small.
It wasn't a long ride to her place. He had taken this direction many times to get to Claire's so it was almost like second nature to go this route. The homes on her street looked empty with the black windows and poor light from the streetlamps. The occasional porch light on every other home was on but otherwise the neighborhood had already called it a night and rested before the holiday began. Sheva's home was no exception except for the fact that she wasn't in the comforts of her own bed yet.
Looking to his right, he got the pained feeling that he'd have to wake her up. Deciding to be nice, he stepped out of the vehicle and went to her side. He opened the door and held out his hand in case she might pour out of the seat in her drowsy state. Thankfully, she didn't. Mumbling and groaning, she looked up to see him standing there as he held the car door open for her. Slurring about something that they'd gotten here fast, she did her best to climb out but in the end needed the help of Chris's hand.
"I feel handicapped," she admitted as he walked beside her, making sure if she fell, he'd catch her.
"At least you don't need a walker," he humorously added. The corner of his lips smiled as she mumbled an agreement.
Miraculously, she got the right key and into the keyhole in one try. She walked in and left the door open, signaling that he could come in. As she stepped inside, she flipped the light switch on and sighed when she saw the room scattered with unopened furniture boxes and some paint cans. She hadn't had any time to start on the decorating and furnishing of her home except for her bedroom set and some stuff for the kitchen. The place looked cold without her personality decorating the walls.
"Do you want something to drink?" she slurred the offer. It came out sounding like, 'want thing do drink?'
He couldn't hold back the laugh at her sleep talk which sounded very much like she was drunk and a little bit like Yoda from Star Wars. He shook his head politely. "No, thanks. You need a bed."
She tried to sound out words but they just stayed in her vocal cords and came out sounding like a moan. He wasn't sure why and felt slightly wicked for it, but the moan she made excited him a bit. Taking his mind off the sounds she was making, he looked around her new home. It was pretty blah. Nothing seemed to say Sheva and everything was still in boxes or unopened.
"I know, it's pathetic so far," Sheva had managed to articulate correctly. Going to the open floor plan of the kitchen, she grabbed bottled water and the cool liquid seemed to wake her a bit.
"It's not pathetic," he reassured her. "It looks like you just move in, that's all."
Resting against the breakfast counter, she looked around her living room with a frown. "I can hear it calling my name when I sleep and at work. 'Paint me, build me!'" she comically said.
He thought about when he had offered his help with the setup of her place, but he knew her better than that. She wasn't someone to accept help easily and she was even more stubborn to ask for it. But seeing how tired she was and how little she had done to start with furnishing her home, he knew that she needed help.
"I can help you with this, Shev."
She felt her stomach flutter when he called her by her nickname. It'd been years since he had and it made her entire being shake with memory. Shaking her head sternly, she kindly refused his offer. "I can't ask that of you, Chris. Don't worry about it. It'll get it done all in due time."
"It'll get done faster if you let me help you with it."
"Really, Chris. It's all right. I can ask Claire—"
"Sheva, just accept the help," he pushed.
"I can't." Why was she saying no? It really was kind of him, but she didn't want to be thought of as charity. But she knew better. He was truly just offering her a helping hand, not some form of pity or charity.
"Yes, you can."
Leaving her bottle on the counter she walked around the countertop and into the living room. "It's asking a lot if I ask for your help."
Chris sighed, but chuckled at the same time. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?"
"It's the only way I know to be," she happily admitted.
He had to agree on that. From the moment he met her, she had a strong will and stubborn attitude. That was a big thing that made him lure towards her and he wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing that he was witnessing all the same traits she had displayed for him over two years ago.
He started walking back to the front door and began to state that he was helping, not giving her a chance to refuse. "We have Friday off, so I can help you then. And the weekend, of course. If Claire helps then that's three people. I'm helping, Sheva, that's final." She tried to protest again but he would just talk over her and reinforce his choice to help her out. Finally when he opened the door and was ready to leave, she gave up the fight.
"Fine, Captain Redfield," she complied in a flat tone and half lidded, bored eyes. She had lost the fight and now she was pouting like a child.
"Good. I'll see you tomorrow, Agent Alomar," he threw back the formal title.
She walked to the doorway and watched as he walked to his car. "Goodnight," she called out as he climbed in the vehicle. He wished her a good night and then left, leaving her to allowance of her bed. Locking the door, she looked back to see Fat Marvin sitting in front of the hallway and giving her a narrow eyed look.
"What?" she questioned. The look in the feline's eyes looked like he knew a dirty secret that he would tell no one. He simply stood and started to walk back to the bedroom.
Shrugging off the cat's odd behavior, she followed after him into the bedroom and plopped down on the bed in her work cloths. She was so tired that she just didn't care right now. Within a few moments she was in a peaceful and safe slumber. Tomorrow she would give thanks on a holiday that she had never celebrated and spend time with the Redfield family.
Author's note: I imagine Thanksgiving with the Redfield family is probably very eventful. That's the best word I can come up with. So, for those who celebrate Thanksgiving, how do you spend it? I usually attack the stuffing and green bean casserole before anyone can even know those dishes were made. For those who don't celebrate it or don't live in any of the countries it's celebrated, do you have any holiday that's similar to it? Thanksgiving is the day we give thanks for harvest, preceding years and whatever your thankful for. Oh, and you eat a ton. (My favorite thing in the world. Just sayin'.)
Sheva Redfield: I see a competition arising between Claire and Rebecca, the two matchmakers. I'd like to travel the world, mainly Europe and Africa. What about you? What are places you want to see? To be born in Germany is very exciting. My cousin was too because both her parents were in the military and met in Germany. Cool stuff! Haha, Sheva would probably just walk off from the both of them and do her own thing. But I'd imagine it'd be funny! XOXO :)
HolleringHawk65: Leon is such a hunk… :) I can't decide either! I like both leading guys… Hmm, I say Fat Marvin wins because he's a cat and that's all that you need in the world. :D
Lollipop Lolli: Piers is smokin'! It'd be really neat if it was Molly and Kenny, but I think you're right with the idea it's Omid and Christa, just makes sense. The Last of Us was so good, I love Naughty Dog's games! :D
wolfspiritqueen: Chocolate? Did someone say chocolate? Haha, Chris totally needs to wake the heck up! He needs to upgrade to Sheva already. :P
JustSomeGirl17: You very may well be right! If you punched Chris in the face, he'd probably just stay all mocho like he did with Jake's bullet to the cheekbone! :P It's time that CC went into intervention. This has gone on for way too long… ;P I don't think McDonalds had a legitimate cartoon, but like animated characters for the kids' stuff. But who knows! Aw man, now I want pizza AND a banana nut muffin! Arrivederci, my scrumptious Boston cream pie!
toby7400: I don't think there's anything I don't love about your last review. I added the eyesight problem to Claire for more fun in future chapters. Claire is probably the most obvious matchmaker, it'll be weird when Rebecca start up with it, too. The prelude is pretty far off in the timeline, but you're on the right path with who 'He' is. Hope you liked the update. :)
borismotrys: Haha, I'm glad you like the Transformers part! I really liked adding that in. :)
Aries: I'm happy to hear your computer is up and running again! The holidays? Fourth of July? No worries about reviews, take your time. :) Haha, that's an odd mental imagine, I must admit. I hope you're doing well and I'll talk to you soon.
So, I bit off more than I could chew with this story, but I won't stop. This will be finished! It'll be a long ways ahead, but it's my goal to finish this. In the next chapter, Thanksgiving goes down and the best part is we meet Rebecca's family, in my opinion. In the flashback, Chris and the gang are back in Lagos and we really start the journey on the "forbidden" love story between Chris and Sheva. Soap opera madness!
This girl needs to write more so I can update more. Till next time. -Sarai
