XII. Giving Thanks


'Fumbling his confidence and wondering why the world has passed him by. Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments and failed attempts to fly.' — 'Meant to Live' by Switchfoot


Lagos, Nigeria
March, 2009

In the past eleven days, Chris had gotten an unimpressive 13 hours of sleep. He was running on energy that was giving up on him faster than ever before. After running around Kijuju for nearly two days, being kicked and shot at by a brainwashed Jill, and finally killing his longtime nemesis had earned him about a year's worth of vacation and rest. But whether it was feeling the need to watch over Jill as she slept in the hospital bed or the uncomfortable plastic chair, he just couldn't seem to close his eyes for more than 30 minutes at a time. But more than anything, he found himself staring at the door from inside Jill's hospital room, watching as nurses and doctor came in periodically. Even Josh had come to see how Jill was doing.

And as that door opened and closed repeatedly in the past week and a half, the one person he was waiting for to arrive never did. He could be sitting by Jill's bed, standing by the window overlooking the community courtyard for the patients outside, or trying to get some shut eye; he would constantly be waiting for that door to open and watch Sheva walk through. And as days went by, he knew that she wasn't going to come.

After the helicopter had landed when they got to BSAA setup base, she had walked off before he could even exit the copter. She had kept her distance the entire time and when they finally got to Lagos, he hadn't seen her since. Not even at the BSAA office. He thought about asking Josh about her, but thought better of it. Asking her boyfriend about her could surly earn him a black eye. So he stayed with Jill while she slept and went through detox. She had barely woken up at all. And when she did, he tried to get her to eat, but she refused and would curl up under the covers. She looked terrible. Tired, scared, and depressed. The only time he'd leave the room was to eat something his self at cafeteria in the hospital. Otherwise, he showered in the patient's shower in the conjoined bathroom and did his best to sleep in the uncomfortable chairs.

Today was an exception that he left the hospital. Esther Bethel, the West African BSAA Director, had requested to meet him. She thanked him for his work and congratulated him for finishing such a gruesome mission.

"It is an honor to have you on our turf, Mr. Redfield," Esther had said. "I can only imagine how tired you must be after all of that. Sheva looked like she could use a week's worth of sleep."

Chris had been leaning on the armrest of the chair he sat in, his chin in his hand, when suddenly he perked up at the mention of Sheva's name. "Sheva? Is she all right?"

Esther looked him up and down, scrutinizing his sudden alertness. "She is perfectly fine. You haven't talked to her?"

"Not since we got to Lagos," he revealed, shaking his head.

Esther had known Sheva for some time now and while she didn't completely see eye to eye with the young soldier, she couldn't deny that she was one of the best in the West African branch. Sheva was stubborn and was constantly eager to prove herself, and Esther had to admit that she always exceeded in everything. She was just so young, but she told Esther to trust her. And as time went on, Esther did.

"She went to work right away went she got back. Yesterday she decided to take some time off for vacation. She's tired but young. She needs some time to herself right now."

Chris nodded, not feeling satisfied with the offered information concerning Sheva. He was about to stand when Esther raised her hand and signaled for him to stay sitting.

"The real reason I asked to meet you was to let you know that a private jet will be ready for Jill on Monday. Lewis King from the Los Angeles branch expects you to be with her when the plane lands in LA. She needs someone she's close with and that person right now is you, so it's best you stay with her."

Monday; that was three days from now. He shook hands with Esther and left her office, heading towards the hospital. He had three days to say goodbye to everyone here in Africa. It wasn't many people, really, but one that he had to work up the courage to simply look at. Though, this was if he even saw Sheva again. He hoped he would.

When he got to the hospital, he navigated through the halls without thought. He knew how to find Jill's room like it was the back of his hand. He could feel eyes on him and a few smiles from the female nurses. It was flattering, he thought, but not wanted. Despite these women who were vibrant and pretty, he wasn't at all persuaded by them. Maybe he would have been if a certain woman wasn't on his mind all the time lately. And it wasn't Jill.

Passing the children's area, the kids stared at him with big smiles. They had started doing this in the past week. At first they were intrigued with such a tall, hugely built guy, so they'd gawk at him. All the time he had spent in the hospital and the times he'd stroll around to walk off the insomnia, he'd visit them sometimes. The little boys would walk up to the American and ask him a bunch of questions while the little girls would giggle to each other and watch him with curious eyes. As he passed by them now, they smiled and waved widely. He raised his hand in a tired wave and offered them gentle grins.

Finding Jill's room easily, he opened the door to see a thin figure by her bedside. This figure was obviously female and had wavy, shoulder length hair. His heart sped up as he guessed this was Sheva. But his heartbeat slowed when the woman turned around to reveal she was in fact not Sheva, but Jill's usual nurse, Grace.

"Hello, Mr. Redfield," she greeted.

His only response was a lackadaisical nod. Feeling incredibly tired, he knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep. He just walked over to the window and watched as patients of all ages sat at the tables in the courtyard below.

"She'll probably sleep through the night," Grace talked to his back. "Do you think when she wakes you can try to encourage her to eat again?"

He gave his rehearsed nod and listened as she scurried off and closed the heavy door. He watched as a two elders played chess on the public board below. The graying woman seemed to be winning because the younger man that sat across from her had his shaky hand hovering over the board, trying to come up with his next move. He was so engrossed with the game going on outside that he almost missed the sound of the door opening again. Grace had often forgotten something like pens or files when she came in, so he didn't bother looking back at the nurse.

That's odd, he thought. Grace would always say what she forgot and then walked out like she always did. But he noticed that the door had closed after the mystery person came in. Before he could turn around, his nerves tingled when the familiar voice spoke. The voice that he had played in his head and practiced conversations with in case he would see her again.

"How is she doing?" Sheva inquired, standing by Jill's bed while looking at his back. She held back a sigh when he turned around and looked to her with hopeful eyes. Heat rose in her body like it had on the helicopter and she felt like she'd pass out as a small smile rose to his lips.

She had come. It took her nearly two weeks, but he wasn't going to complain. Words that Claire would say when she was a teenager and received a few dollars from his wallet that she had asked for ran through his head. Ask and you shall receive. She had come.


Los Angeles, USA
November (Thanksgiving Day), 2011

Bing Crosby played throughout the home as Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade replayed on the television on mute, all the while Claire gave specific instructions on how to cook. Whether it was peeling potatoes, basting the turkey, or mixing the stuffing, Claire watched like a hawk to make sure you got it right. Despite this being not only being her first Thanksgiving in general but her first turkey day with Claire as well, Sheva understood why Leon stayed out of the kitchen. But Sheva had already walked into Claire's lair, so whenever she tried to step out, Claire was grabbing her by the waistband of her jeans and pulling her back in.

She'd been here since the early morning, going through what felt like cooking boot camp with Claire in the kitchen of hers and Leon's home. Now as the early afternoon came upon them, the feast was pretty much finished. All that was left was that the turkey needed another 20 minutes in the oven and the cranberry sauce that Claire had been complaining about, preparing threats to say to her brother if he didn't bring it.

"So, how did last night go?" Claire vaguely inquired as she set the food on the dining table.

Sheva was in charge of placing the silverware and plates on the table and when Claire asked about her night, she simply shrugged. It surprised her that Claire took so long to ask, but Sheva had no desire to talk about it. But even as she watched her hands lay china on the deep red tablecloth, she could feel Claire's eyes gazing at her and she could only guess the expression her blue eyes held.

Why do I always attract the shy ones? Claire thought to herself. Doing her part with the masterminding of forcing Chris to drive Sheva home last night, it was only fair that Sheva do her part and spill the details. Crossing her arms over her chest, she was going to get an answer out of this girl.

"What did you guys talk about?" Another shrug. Claire wanted to grab her by her shoulders and shake her, but she went the gentle route. "Did you guys kiss?"

With wide eyes, Sheva looked up at her friend and gawked. "No, Claire. He drove me home and we are just friends."

Okay, maybe that wasn't the gentle route. Thinking about another way around this, Claire settled to rest on one leg and hands on her hips. "Then what happened?" she went straight for it.

"Nothing happened, Claire."

"Sheva, if there is one thing you should know about me, it's that I'm psychic. And I know something must have happened."

"Psychic, huh?" Sheva scoffed, arching a brow at Claire. "Alright then, you tell me what happened last night."

Such a cruel game Sheva was playing. All Claire wanted to know was what happened, is that so bad? She pulled her mumbo jumbo psychic card and now it was backfiring. She wasn't going down without a fight, though.

"Hmm, let me think," she mumbled as she brought her middle and index fingers to her temples and closed her eyes. After a few seconds, she made an 'aha' sound and opened her eyes. "You confessed your love for him and vice versa, and now you're just figuring out how to tell everyone. And, wait a minute," she closed her eyes for a moment before speaking again, "You're going to tell everyone today."

"I hope no one paid you for your psychic abilities," Sheva replied sarcastically.

Claire growled and pursed her lips like she always did when she was upset. "You're no fun. Well at least tell me if he was nice to you?"

Sheva sighed. "He's always nice to me, Claire."

"He is, isn't he?" Claire winked at her even though Sheva's attention was elsewhere. "Did he offer to drive you home again sometime?"

Shaking her head, Sheva thought if she should tell Claire or not that he did offer to help with moving in and that it was planned he was. She knew that Claire wanted some juicy details and so she decided to tell her so Claire could stop hounding her.

"He's coming over tomorrow to help with my home," she murmured quietly, almost hoping that Claire wouldn't hear. But she did.

"What?! Really? When is he coming over? What are you going to wear?" Claire questioned rapidly, nearly crawling on the table to get answers.

"Uh, cloths," Sheva frowned.

This was just great! Claire wanted to bounce and claim victory because her hard work as a matchmaker—part-time psychic—was paying off. "You should leave your hair down. You look nice with it up, but more seductive with it down."

Preparing to lecture the redhead, she heard the sound of the door opening and Leon's voice greeting someone. She settled with a glare at Claire and peeked around the corner of the dining room to see who it was to find Rebecca carrying a car seat with a blanket over it, and her husband, Billy, was holding two little twin girls hands. Claire and Sheva went to greet them and immediately, Rebecca began talking as Billy took the car seat.

Claire took over as she listened to Becca talk tons as Sheva felt hands tugging at her own. She looked down to find two pairs of identical bright blue eyes staring up at her. Sheva kneeled down to get eye level with Becca and Billy's twins. They were hard to tell apart, but one had a mole on her cheek like the kind old Hollywood actresses in the old days would draw on with eye kohl.

"Who are you?" The one without the beauty spot asked. Billy overheard from talking with Leon what one of his daughters said and apologized for her poor manners.

"Hey, Avery. That's not how you greet people, is it?" he questioned. Avery looked to her feet and shook her head. Billy held out his hand for Sheva to shake, which she did. "Sorry for her manners. I'm Billy, by the way."

"Sheva," she smiled at the tall man. "Becca told me all about you and your kids."

"Ah, then she must have told you that these two are still going through the 'no' stage. Avery, are you going to apologize?"

Avery kicked at the ground, staring at her feet and mumbled, "Sorry for having bad manners." Her twin next to her snickered that she got lectured. Annoyed with her sister, Avery pinched her arm. Billy scolded again and made the two girls apologize to one another.

The twin with the beauty spot looked at Sheva and smiled, revealing that she was missing a front tooth. "I'm Alice. What's your name?"

"I'm Sheva, it's nice to meet you."

When Alice stuck her tiny hand out, Sheva grasped it and shook her hand. Alice beamed and held her hands together in front of her. Avery was chewing on her dark hair while staring at Sheva.

"You must be Avery," she stated. The girl nodded and held out her fist.

"You're supposed to pound it," Avery said, holding her tiny fist higher. Sheva did so and Avery nodded, going back to chewing her hair.

As Sheva talked to the twin girls a little longer, she learned that Avery was a tomboy; always wanting to go with her father to the gym and the fastest runner in her kindergarten class. Alice was a little chatterbox, just like her mother, and loved anything and everything fashion. When Sheva asked their age, Avery boasted that she was almost five and six minutes older than Alice, to which Alice rolled her eyes and said that she was the smarter one.

After a while, Elza showed up and greeted everyone. She began conversing with Sheva as the twin girls talked with each other. As Elza was saying something to Sheva about being ready to eat, Becca came up with a small bundle in her arms and nudged Sheva. Before she could say anything, Becca was handing Sheva the tightly wrapped William to her. Will opened his blue eyes and stared up at her, seemingly interested with her dark brown locks that hovered over his blanket. Becca held her hands to her chest as she watched the scene while Elza awed at them and then went to talk with Claire.

"He's precious, Becca," Sheva murmured.


They had managed to get on the road on time without having a fight. Granted, there was the accustom tension that was always between Chris and Jill, but they didn't have time to talk about it. Now they were headed for Claire's place and were making good time for once. Jill was quiet like always on the way there and as they walked to the front door of his sister's home, Chris could hear Jill take a deep breath.

He was grabbing for the doorknob when Claire opened it before he did and smiled brightly at him. Pulling him into a tight hug, she kissed his cheek.

"You actually made it on time," she exclaimed. She pulled back and looked to Jill beside him, who was holding the cranberry sauce she so sternly demanded. "Hi Jill," she tried to sound chipper. It's not that she wasn't happy to see the blonde, but she just felt awkward around her.

Leading them in, Claire took the sauce and went to open it and prepare it for the feast. The place smelled amazing, like it always did on Thanksgiving. Before even getting the chance to say a word, two twin girls started tugging on him and jumping. He chuckled and kneeled down to them, hugging them both as they lunged for him.

"How are my two favorite girls doing today?" he queried as they pulled away.

"I'm so hungry," Avery whined as she clutched at her stomach and gasped.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," Alice said in singsong, stumbling over some parts of the word.

Chuckling, Chris patted both their heads and clapped Alice's arm. "Good job kiddo."

"Thanks, Uncle Chris," she happily replied and went to her mom as Avery stuck around. She talked animatedly how she kicked a ball so hard that she nearly broke the window on her house.

After a while, Avery ran out of breath to talk anymore and decided she needed to take a moment and went to Billy. Chris stood and looked around until his eyes settled on her. Sheva. She was rocking a small bundle in her arms, which Chris could only imagine was Becca's newborn, Will. Her attention was on the baby in her arms and only the baby as she seemed to be cooing words to the infant. He looked to his side to see Becca talking off Jill's ear and Jill just nodded along, holding her hands together in front of her in a clutch. Without thinking, his feet led him to Sheva.

"Hey," he said softly, approaching her.

She looked up with bright eyes and smiled gently. "Hi." Her gaze went back to Will as she sighed happily. "Isn't he adorable?"

"Yeah. He's going to be a little heart breaker when he gets older."

Sheva laughed quietly. "He already is. Do you want to hold him?" Chris shook his head sternly, taking a step back. "Oh c'mon, he won't bite."

"I'm not afraid of biting, he's just too small."

Rolling her eyes, Sheva stepped closer and held Will higher for Chris to take him. He tried refusing, but she kept raising Will higher and when she held him out a bit, he surrendered and held his arms out.

"Like a football, right?" he asked, looking at the baby as if he was kryptonite.

"Uh, well, not really. Just hold your arms out," she told him. He did and she carefully placed Will in his arms, making sure he was secure so the baby didn't fall. "Now pull him closer."

Chris had a look on his face like he was stopping a ticking bomb and at any point the bomb might blow. Sheva giggled at him, but stood close to see how he was doing. She patted him on the arm when he pulled Will closer and the baby snuggled against his chest.

"See, easy stuff, right?"

"Eh, right," he muttered as he stared at the baby. When Will blew bubbles with his drool, Chris scrunched his nose. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no. He's just making a raspberry at you," Sheva informed him, noticing his tense stature. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down, you're doing good."

After a small moment of plentiful raspberries and scared eyes, Chris handed the baby over to Rebecca. "That's the last time I'm holding a baby."

"But why?" Sheva inquired. "Babies need to be held."

Shrugging, Chris and Sheva followed the crowd into the dining room. After Claire gave a speech on her hard work with this meal, she said that it was time to say what they were all thankful for. Claire gave thanks for her family, health and steady job. Leon was awkward and said he was thankful for his friends and mainly Claire. Billy and Rebecca gave thanks for their happy and healthy family. Elza said her friends and health, and humorously her shapely legs. Chris was thankful for his sister and friends, Jill said little and that she was thankful to be here, and the two girls said thanks for random things like soccer balls and nail polish. Sheva had never done this before and grew uncomfortable. Of course she was thankful, but she was never in a situation that she had to list off what it was that she was thankful for. The list was so long.

"Um, I'm thankful for my friends and health. My home and Marvin," she awkwardly said. "And I'm thankful that Claire didn't stick me in the oven with the turkey after this morning."

Everyone laughed except for Claire who rolled her eyes and gave a "valid" point that she was just trying to teach her the ropes of Thanksgiving feasts. Once giving thanks was done, the honors to carve the turkey were Leon's this year. Apparently Chris had it last year and now Claire gave the opportunity to Leon. The meal was splendid and tasty, filling everyone's bellies to the brink.

Claire asked for Jill, Becca, and Elza to help clear the table, leaving Sheva purposefully out of the request. Leon's phone was buzzing, so he went off to answer it while Billy went to go check on Will who was sleeping soundly in his car seat in the living room. Once Avery and Alice went off to play tag, Sheva and Chris were left alone.

It was quiet for a moment, neither really sure how to start a conversation but both comfortable with the silence. After a while, Chris started first and asked how she liked the American holiday. He listened as she talked, hanging on her every word and watching her lips move in what seemed like an intricate dance. She was saying something how there was so much she never got to do when she lived in the US before and was now experiencing. She leaned on the table with her elbow on the tablecloth as her cheek rested in her hand. She looked sad for a moment and it broke his heart. When he asked her what was wrong she just shook her head and told him all was well. Knowing it might be too far, he reached a hand to her knee and left his hand to rest there.

"You can talk to me, Sheva," he told her, his thumb stroking the denim of her jeans.

She sighed, not really sure if she felt like talking. But as the heat of his hand comforted her skin underneath the cloth, she gazed at him. "I just wish that I could be with my parents right now. When everyone talked about what they were thankful for, everyone said their families. I don't really have a family."

He gazed back at her, looking for the strong girl he had always known her to be. And despite this being a sad topic, he could see that strong side, just standing by if the emotions she expressed right now would burst. Giving her a light squeeze, he beckoned for her to look at him.

"I miss my parents, too, Sheva. But family doesn't mean blood relation. You have family all around you. I'm sure your parents would like to be with you now, too."

She let out a weak chuckle, not putting much effort into it. "Yeah…I'm sure they would. Sorry to get all depressing for a moment."

"You're not depressing, Sheva," he reassured her. "I know how you feel with this. Granted, I have Claire, but I get it. You can always come to me when you need to talk about anything. Alright?"

She nodded, but when he asked her again, she spoke aloud. "Alright. Thank you, Chris. And you know the same goes for you."

Staring at the wall behind her, he simply nodded. He wasn't the kind of man to open up about his feelings and thoughts. Hell, he never allowed himself to acknowledge them in the first place. He simply pushed them aside and let them be in the core of his mind that he never revisited.

Sheva noticed the distant look in his eye, so she laid her hand atop his that was still on her knee and brought him back to reality. "Really, Chris. If there's anything, I'm here for you."

After she said that, he got a bad taste in his mouth. A taste of resentment. If she would be there for him, then she wouldn't have pushed him away those few years ago. She wouldn't have told him to leave or that what they had wasn't important. If she was there for him, then he knew that they would have become something. Whether it was partners in a relationship or maybe even more, they would have been together to this day. But that didn't happen. No. She pushed him away and told him that she didn't feel the same way, or rather told him to leave but he got the idea.

"Chris?" she called him, gripping his hand gently.

Snapping back to the present, he pulled his hand back, needing to get away from her touch. It was too much. For a moment they were talking and they seemed to be peaceful, but now it was too much and he couldn't take the remembrance of rejection. To feel unwanted and abandoned. He had gotten enough of that in his life and he just couldn't take it again from her. The first time scarred him and if something like that happened again, he didn't know what would happen. It was cheesy and he told himself it was untrue, but he was afraid he'd die of a broken heart.

"Yeah, sure," he mumbled, not completely remembering what they were talking about. A weight settled on his shoulders when he saw the downturned, sad expression in her usual bright and happy eyes. But he wasn't in the mood to comfort right now. Those memories that he had done his best to stow away in his mind came rushing back and all he saw was rejection.

Feeling not wanted, Sheva stood and pushed her chair in, not looking at him. The idea that she had said something wrong and caused such a reaction made her feel terrible. That guarded look on his face reminded her of the day she said goodbye to him those years ago in Africa. When he looked at her on that day, she felt like the world went grey and cold, leaving her alone and vulnerable. And as he walked away from her, her body shook and shivered like she was in a cold atmosphere, watching the only source of warmth walk away from her. That's how she felt now as she took a step back, holding her arms to her chest.

"I, uh, won't feel bad if you rather not help with my place," she murmured. She hated how she sounded like a martyr, but she meant it. If he wanted to pull out, then so be it. She wasn't sure if she could handle hours with him if this would happen again.

Looking up at her standing figure, Chris shook his head and stood. "I'm going to help you out, Sheva. I'll see you tomorrow."

And with that, he walked off to the twin girls who were calling his name. Her body felt tight, but not in some orgasmic or pleasant way. Rather like you were strung to a point of emotion that one more tightening, the seams would snap and your world would crumble. She had felt this so few times in her life; when her parents passed, when she came to America as a teen, when she saw all her brothers dead in Kijuju, and lastly, when she pushed Chris away and sent him away over two years ago.


Author's note: Sheva, my dear, lighten up. This dude has the hot's for you and that's all you need in life. And a few other things, but anyways, I'm getting off track.

wolfspiritqueen: Haha, no I haven't seen 'What's cooking?' Is it funny? Oh boy, I love Thanksgiving. :D Haha, of all the first Thanksgiving's to spend with, it had to be with the Redfield family. D:
Sheva Redfield: Mm, yes. Chris must not have carried her because of his work. That's it. ;D Boo ya on the Sheva being strong and independent! Marvin's a sneaky little feline. It should be a crime not to like Piers Nivans. Am I right? Okay, maybe that's extreme, but the guy is amazing and hot! :D Your dad just hasn't caught the Piers Fever yet. :) Thank you for reviewing 'First Impressions'! XOXO :)
HolleringHawk65: I imagine Redfield Thanksgiving food would be full of steroids… No, I kid! :) As a kid, I hated cranberry sauce, but I've grown to like it. Yum yum! :D
borismortys: I don't eat pork, but ham always looks so good! Mmm, Chinese food always sounds good, right? That reminds me of 'A Christmas Story' when they burn the turkey on Christmas and go to the Chinese restaurant. So funny. :D
JustSomeGirl17: Don't you worry, this story and RE will be here waiting for you whenever you feel like reading it! :) Oh yum, broccoli and cheese is like heaven in a vegetable and dairy. Haha, it hurts you? It hurts my pride because if that happened to me, I'd pee my pants and run crying! D: Haha, 'Bullet scrapped my cheekbone? Do I look like I give a fuck?' That's what I imagine Chris saying about it all. :P Pumpkin makes me think of pumpkin pie, which in turn makes me hungry… Arrivederci, sweet marzipan!
toby7400: Haha, reasons, huh? Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing… :O
Aries: I understand. It reminds me of year round school, which I did one year and it completely threw me off. D: Haha, kinda funny how July 4th and Thanksgiving are American and they're both relevant right now. Talk to you soon! :)

In zee next chaptair (French accent, if you're wondering), the most obvious; Chris comes over to help Sheva and the deep conversation begins. There will be two chapters of them talking. I know, it seems like much, but it was too hard to fit it into one. The interview with Piers will be coming up soon. Psst, it's chapter 15. ;)

Enjoy your weekend! -Sarai