Dick couldn't leave Mordhaus knowing that Dethklok was planning to personally risk their lives. They'd declined to even take any Klokateers with them when they went after Toki. It didn't sit well with Dick and nothing he'd said to William had made any difference.

"Babe, c'mon, it's just common sense," Dick said.

"The four of us can handle that dildo Magnus," was William's reply.

No dice.

If that was going to be the case, Dick had decided to stay over. He had just smoked a joint, plumped the pillows and relaxed into Willy's bed when the TV went from Tabitha's Salon Makeover to a screeching skull.

"Heeeyyyyyy! It's your pal Facebones! This is an Emergency Security Override! Please stand by!"

Kill You played as the spinning skull idled. Suddenly, the screen switched to a feed of the War Room.

"Sir! This is 6957 of Mordhaus Surveillance. We've confirmed a large group of protesters approaching the grounds. Initial reports indicated that this was a group made up entirely of children and young adults. We're awaiting confirmation now."

When nothing further was said, Dick surveyed the screen and realized that all eyes in the War Room were turned to him. Were they waiting for him to speak? He tugged at the collar of his shirt. This was so going to destroy his buzz.

You've got to be fucking kidding me, people.

"Okay, so, what..?"

"Master Offdensen is gone. We need orders on how to proceed."

"Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean, Charles is gone? Where did he go?"

"He quit."

Dick's vision went red at that news. Charles Foster Offdensen quit?

6957 cleared this throat. "After Dethklok, Master Offdensen and Abigail Remeltindtdrinc it appears that you're the next in command."

"That's just great!" Dick shouted. "No one thought I needed to know this? No one gave that any thought? That you might wanna tell me? Huh? Let Dick in on a little information?"

In a fury, Dick threw the covers back and leaped out of the bed. His exit was swift and dramatic. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to get to the War Room and turned right back around into William's room.

"Sir?" 6957 said uncertainly.

"Send someone to escort me through this fucking labyrinth!"

Dick shifted uncomfortably in Charles' vacated seat; his ass was much too bony for the damn thing. He thought of sending someone for a pillow but lording it over the Klokateers made him more uncomfortable than the seat. He was no CFO. "So, um, okay. We've got angry kids storming the gates. Any ideas?"

He was not met with any response. A sea of black masks stared back at him. Dick pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. This was more than out of his comfort zone: this was ridiculous.

"Really? No ideas at all?"

Finally, a voice chimed in over the speaker system.

"Hi, um, this is the blogging division."

Dick zoomed in on the large screen in front of him as the feed switched to a computer room filled with female Klokateers. A few of them clustered around a security panel but the rest were hard at work at their computers.

"You got something for me, babe? I hope so. We don't need dead kids on the news. That's probably the last thing we need, okay."

The female Gears around the panel bobbed their heads in agreement. One of them spoke.

"Yes, sir. This is 1292. We've got a hundred talking deddy bears up here that we were planning to use for the Tumblr Dethmas Giveaway.."

"Deddy bears? Replicas of Toki's deddy bear?" Dick's eyes flashed green. "That could work. Okay. Okay, yeah! Kids'll eat that shit up, right? It's worth a try. Make it happen."

The large screen changed to security footage at the Mordhaus gates. Dick left one eye on the children as the other roamed around the room, focusing on one masked face at a time.

"Anything else? Any other pressing matters? Nothing?"

There was a chorus of "no, sir" and Dick nodded with satisfaction.

This could possibly end well.