XIV. Talk about It


'I want to be there for you and someone you can come to.' — 'There For You' by Flyleaf


Lagos, Nigeria
March,2009

Why couldn't she just reach out a hand to help the man? He was obviously in pain from the way his eyes bulged and the way he gagged. But as her mind screamed to take control, it would just disobey her wishing and her feet would lead her to circle around the kneeling local as he shook and looked to her, as if trying to ask for help. Something in her heart shattered when the man reached for her hand and she just ripped her arm away; her body doing something her heart did not want. As he began to have something that looked to be a seizure, she began to walk away, part of her glad not have to look at the poor man any longer.

When Jill heard his voice telling her to come to the security room to "talk", she could feel a small injection of the serum inject into her chest from the device that was connected to her body.

When Wesker wanted to "talk", it meant that he had sent Excella and Irving off to do something so that he could see her alone. Despite hating these meetings with him, she would look forward to the numbness that would become her body when he touched her. As he'd strip her and run his hands all over her body, her state of mind would go somewhere peaceful. A place she didn't entirely know, but she felt it was familiar. A man with dark shaggy hair making a joke about something involving sexy ladies and asking him out. Only the man didn't think it was joke and he was serious, but she wanted to laugh at his audacity. She couldn't get much detail out of this memory/dream, but through its fogginess, she could make out a name. Carlos.

As Wesker took off her bird mask and cape, he began to lean towards her, aiming for her mouth. When he forcefully gripped her hair and turned her head to the side, she could see the shaggy haired man smiling at her in her mind. She could almost feel the heat of his hand when he'd touch her shoulder. But then Wesker would crush his lips against hers, suffocating her with his brutality and clawing at the zipper on her leather suit.

Jill woke up in a jolt when her dream led to Wesker biting her tongue. She gasped as she sat up quickly, her eyes roaming the small hospital room. "Where am I?" she asked no one.

"You're awake," she heard a gentle voice state. She looked to her side and saw a pretty and small African woman sitting by her bed. She looked like she had just woken up as her eyelids looked heavy and her cheeks were slightly flushed. Jill knew this was Sheva the moment she looked into her hazel eyes.

"Where's Chris?" Jill questioned, feeling slightly scared not being by someone she didn't recognize too well.

"Uh, he's at the base getting some sleep," Sheva informed her. "He was really tired and the chairs here aren't very comfortable. I can go call the base and tell him to come back."

Despite feeling vulnerable without him around, Jill shook her head. Not seeing his worried face made her stomach unknot some. "No, thank you. I just got scared for a minute. What are you doing here?"

Sheva could feel the tightness in her neck as she rubbed her hand against her shoulder. No wonder Chris couldn't get any sleep here, the chair felt like sleeping in a dryer. "I told Chris I'd stay here until he got back. He didn't want you to be alone and I volunteered."

Looking at the sunrays slowly peeking into the room, Jill knew it was early morning. "You don't have to stay," she said dryly. "I don't want to inconvenience you."

Not insulted, Sheva knew that she was trying to be polite. "It's not an inconvenience. I don't mind at all. How are you feeling?"

Jill shrugged. Her body was going through detox. Her bones ached while her head throbbed and banged in her skull. "I'm fine," she claimed, not wanting to have another person worry over her.

"Um," Sheva hummed as she stood and gestured at Jill's hospital gown that was slipping down her shoulder, revealing yellowish bruises on her collarbone and the stitches on her chest.

Feeling embarrassed that the evidence of the brainwashing device was bare for the eye to see, Jill pulled her gown back up and placed her hands over her chest, trying to forget about the ugly wound that lay just above her breasts. She could feel her shoulders weigh down as she thought about all she had done while under the influence of Wesker. She looked up to Sheva when she began to speak.

"I don't mean to be forward or anything," she cautiously said as she took a step closer to the bed, leaning her hip on the edge. "But there's an old African home remedy that helps the process of wounds heal faster and reduce the chance of scars. And another remedy that makes scars fade. I could write them down for you if you'd like."

Jill was taken aback by her kindness. Despite not knowing this girl for long, she could see that she was selfless and probably was always willing to take hits for people. "Yeah, I'd like that," she gave a small smile, the first real one she had since they got that device off her chest. She wasn't a woman of vain so she probably wouldn't use the scar remedies, but Sheva was being generous so she accepted the offer.

"Great," Sheva grinned, feeling proud of herself that she got Jill to smile. Next task: "Are you hungry? Did you want something to eat?"

She was hungry, but Jill wasn't in the mood to chew and swallow. Just thinking about it exhausted her. Shaking her head, she declined the offer and ran a hand through her blonde tresses. She frowned when she saw the blonde hair out the corner of her eye.

"I like blonde on you," Sheva spoke up again, noticing her uneasiness about her lighter locks. "Not many people can pull off blonde, but I think it looks nice."

Gosh, she was almost too sweet that Jill's tooth might just ache. "Thanks. It's different, that's for sure." For some odd reason, she didn't hate the blonde that much. It showed that she was a different person because, truly, she was. She was quite upset with herself on the inside that she couldn't even worry about what her exterior looked like. Though, she was appreciative of Sheva's compliment.

Her mind began to wander back to her time under Wesker's wing as Sheva felt slightly awkward by the silence that she started to whistle Henry Mancini's 'Moon River', playing with the hem of her blouse. Jill felt like she needed to ask Sheva about herself, so she started the conversation this time.

"How are you doing?" she inquired with a quiet voice.

Sheva shrugged nonchalantly, not wanting to express the severity of her bruises and nightmares of all that had happened. "Just a little sore but nothing bad. I was just glad to have a shower after all that."

Even though Sheva tried to joke, Jill couldn't laugh because she remembered how she had thrown her around when she had crazy juice pumping into her veins. "Listen, Sheva…I'm so sorry for everything I did. I tried to stop myself, but I just couldn't…"

"Hey, hey." Sheva sat down on the bed and grabbed Jill's hand. "It's okay. I told you I forgive you but really, you don't need my forgiveness. I know that you couldn't control yourself. I don't blame you. What matters are that it's all over and things are being taken care of now. Don't you worry about it."

Jill gasped when Sheva hugged her. She wasn't used to this touchy and affectionate side of people. She had grown up in America and spent all her down time there, so all she knew was the cold and orderly way people in that country could be. Not this open and caring culture that Lagos offered.

Being the optimistic person that Jill was coming to know, Sheva turned the topic onto the lighter subjects. Talking about the best view in Nigeria and places to see. Jill watched as she talked animatedly and couldn't help but admire the young woman. She seemed so carefree and happy, even though Jill knew she was strong and determined. She kind of reminded her of herself when she was younger, though Sheva seemed to be getting the hang of this sort of life faster than Jill did at that age.

Sheva wasn't completely comfortable around Jill right now, but she knew that the blonde needed some positive company and she was willing to offer it. She knew it wasn't Jill's fault that Chris might have just come to Africa for her, but she couldn't help but keep her guard up just in case. The morning was here and she knew that Chris would be back soon. She'd finally talk to him about his true reasoning to be here on her turf and what kind of person he truly was.


Los Angeles, USA
November, 2011

How do you tell someone that you have a past with about your current relationship problems? You couldn't just tell them like it was, that was too complicated and possibly the wrong way. You couldn't skim over things too much, that was too easy and impersonal. How was Chris going to tell Sheva about his problems with Jill? Was he supposed to say, "Oh, ever since you and I slept together, me and Jill got together because neither of us want to put effort into something and someone else." Or, "We barely touch one another but we sleep in the same bed and share a home together."

It was all so complicated. So complicated to the point that Chris felt like pulling out and dropping the subject, just so he wouldn't have to talk about his issues with Jill and save from admitting it all to Sheva. But she was a persistent human being. Questions and pleas were consistent, urging him to open up and talk about it.

As they finished the first wall of the living room, he began to tell her about his first time meeting Jill. "It was awkward. At least on my side it was. She was serious about STARS and so was I, but she was really taking it all so seriously. But I got to know her better and I guess it was good at first. I think she fell a lot faster than I did."

Sheva was sitting on the floor with a paint brush to get a clean edge along the trimming on the bottoms of the walls. Arching a brow in query, she looked up at him. "What do you mean?" From what Jill had told her, they had clicked instantly and fell in love.

He shrugged. "I don't know exactly. I liked her a lot and wanted to be around her, but she was more serious about it all. She was the first one to say 'I love you'. I said it back but I think it was forced. I don't know," he said the second time. "She was better at that sort of thing than me anyway. But we were together for a while. Then the Mansion Incident happened, blah blah blah, and then I left to stop Umbrella. And as I was gone, Raccoon City happened."

"And then she met Carlos," Sheva added, knowing most of the story already.

"Then she met Carlos," he repeated. "I came back home after Rockfort Island with Claire and as I'm taking care of my sister, Jill tells me she met someone else. I'm not good at describing feelings, but I didn't feel anything. She told me that she was leaving me and going to this other man. All I could tell her was to go. And she left me."

He was quiet for moment, stopping his movements to think for a second. When he felt Sheva tap his calf, he looked to find her holding out a clean paint brush. "Help me with the trimmings. You look like you could use a moment to sit down," she told him. So he did, doing the same that Sheva was doing now. She urged him to go on.

"For six years, I did what I always do. I continued on to stop Umbrella and all that, focusing on work. I had relationships here and there. The longest was with Elza."

"You dated Elza?" Sheva asked astonished.

Nodding, he remembered the time with one of his sister's old college friends. He and Elza had been together for a little over a year and they were happy together. But then they just grew apart and broke up, no hard feelings. That's why they still got along well with each other. He spoke this aloud to Sheva and then explained to her about starting the BSAA and meeting Jill again.

"Jill said that you didn't want to talk to her at first," Sheva stated, remembering this part in Jill's side of the story.

"I didn't. She kept trying to apologize to me the whole time and kept bringing up old stuff. But we got passed that and ended up getting back together. Same thing happened again, she fell faster than I did, but it was easier this time. Maybe it was because we had both matured and were away from each for a long time. But we managed to be happy and try to start a future together. But then we broke up again, déjà vu. It was harder this time, though."

She looked to him, studying his profile as he seemed to be in another time, thinking deeply. Not so sure if she should ask, she approached the question quietly. "Why was it harder this time?"

As if coming back to the present, he looked to her with furrowed brows. "Didn't Jill tell you?"

Curiosity grew like it always did with her, she sat straight. "No…what happened?"

He went back to painting the trimmings, feeling like a weight had fallen onto his shoulders that he didn't want and yet he recognized so well. "Just stuff," he murmured, speaking as if he was finishing the story.

She could see he was back pedaling and it made her anxious. "What happened? Did someone die?"

He shook his head quickly. "No, nothing like that. I don't really want to talk about it, Shev."

"Please," she gazed at him, her hand grasping his shoulder to put him at peace to know that she was there for him. "You got me all curious now and if you don't tell me, I'm going to force it out of you."

"You're going to force it out of me?" he inquired with a chuckle. "How are you planning on doing that?"

Rolling her eyes, she shoved his shoulder. "Stop trying to get off topic. Now will you pretty please tell me?" She batted her eyelashes a few times and after a moment, she could see him surrender.

"Ever since I met Jill, she always wanted a family. Which I thought was funny because she was so dedicated to her job that it was a miracle that she managed some type of personal life. Anyway, when we got back together, we took it slow, but slowly we started talking about kids and suburban homes. I don't know how it started, but it did.

"We moved into the place we're at now and started trying for a baby." His expression seemed to grey as his hands went limp for a moment on the tops of his knees, like he was exhausted. "We tried and tried, but we couldn't get pregnant. She became obsessed with it; trying remedies to conceive and making plans on the day she ovulated, but it never happened. She went to the doctors and they told her she was completely fertile, ready to have kids."

This is when his entire being seemed to stiffen and shake slightly. Maybe on the outside it didn't show, but he felt it, tingling unpleasantly to his core. "She pushed me to go to the doctor and get tests done. It took a while, but I went. I hate doctors' offices, you know that? It's so cold there and you feel like a specimen to these people, but they just see you as a number in a file. The last thing I wanted was to be tested on that sort of thing."

He went quiet for a moment, effective enough to make the room tense with silence. Sheva didn't know what to say. When Jill had told her about their relationship, she completely skimmed over this, not even implying they had tried to have kids together. She didn't have to ask for him to go on, because he did on his own.

"They said my sperm count was low or some shit like that…" he mumbled, rubbing his forehead rather roughly. "So it was me. The doctor said maybe I could still have kids, but it most likely wouldn't happen. I have like a ten percent chance or something."

Instinctively, Sheva touched his arm lightly only to have it shrugged off. He wouldn't look at her, just focused back on the painting. "I'm sorry, Chris," she murmured, trying to sound as compassionate as possible.

The compassion was taken as pity on Chris's side. "Don't feel sorry for me."

"I don't feel sorry for you," she said quickly. "I'm just saying sorry that you went through that."

He wanted to drop the subject. It wasn't something he exactly liked to talk about. He couldn't conceive, he couldn't have kids, he couldn't start a family. It left him feeling undone, like he wasn't good enough.

"After that, Jill and I just…grew apart, I guess. She still wanted the family and I couldn't give it her, so we drifted apart and eventually broke up. Again. But we still got along and worked together finely. Then the Spencer Estate in Germany happened and then she was gone. Dead. Or at least that's what the search parties said, but I knew that wasn't it. And you know what happened. Two years later I was in Africa."

Now the hard part: talking about Africa. All the things that went on in Africa had affected him like he wished it didn't, left him with memories he'd rather not have, feelings that wouldn't disappear. Kijuju, Majini, Wesker, Jill, Sheva... And the time they spent together. How was he going to talk about it without actually talking about their affair? This was certainly awkward.

Holding back a gulp, Sheva averted her gaze from him and fidgeted with her paint brush. Painting had seized as they began to talk, stalling their progress with the home. She could feel the expectant air rising as the topic of Africa was brought up. She hoped to God that he wouldn't bring up their little fling. That would just ruin their progress as friends and the semi easy attitude they had around each other.

"Uh, after Kijuju and coming back to America with Jill," he skipped the whole affair and sleeping together. "We decided to try it out again. And fast forward and here we are."

Despite the fact that she didn't want to talk about the affair, she was slightly hurt that he just completely skimmed passed Africa and didn't mention anything about it. But from the uncomfortable look on his face, she knew that he just didn't want to talk about it, so she let it go and listened more.

"We're fine. But now I think that she got into contact with Carlos and they're meeting in secret."

"What makes you think that?"

Feeling the tension slowly evaporating, he braved to look at her. "She's gone out a few times and that's fine, I don't care. But if I ask about it she flips and starts shouting."

"But what makes you think that it's Carlos she's meeting?" Sheva questioned, trying to fight the anticipation that he knew that Jill was sneaking friendly meetings with Carlos.

"Who else would it be? She doesn't talk to any of her old friends or anyone out of the office. Just my sister and her parents, that's it. And c'mon, she loves that guy more than she loves me, it's obvious."

"It's not obvious, how could you say that? She loves you."

"I never said she didn't," he replied. "I just know Jill has never been more in love with anyone more than Carl. And don't worry. I'm not hurt by it. I understand it." Oh, maybe the wrong thing to say. Loving someone more than Jill, how was he supposed to explain that? When he saw her look away, he quickly came up with a false explanation. "I mean Claire. I could love no one more than I love Claire." That was true, but maybe not in the context he was meaning. Oh jeez, he just had to go make everything awkward. Avoiding what happened in Africa, he just had to go and say something about loving someone more than he loved Jill. Smart move.

"If she's meeting up with Carlos," she began, trying to change the subject of loving people. "Then it's probably just catching up."

"Maybe. But that doesn't explain why she gets so antsy about it."

"Are you going to talk to her about it?"

Sighing, he shook his head. "I'll let her come to me about it." He wasn't someone who liked confrontation, especially with Jill. After her mind control under Wesker, accusing Jill of anything made him feel like shit. Sure, he had approached her about her seeing someone else, but he never out right said that she was sneaking around with Carlos.

"Thank you for opening up to me," Sheva whispered.

He didn't stop himself when he laid a hand on her back and patted her gently. "Thanks for listening. Is there anything you needed to let out? I kind of feel like a jerk to just talk about myself."

"No, it's okay," she assured him, feeling the heat of his hand seep into her skin from where his hand lay. "You shouldn't feel like a jerk. I'm just not someone who likes to talk too much, I prefer to listen."

His hand did not fall, but rested against her black tank top, feeling the curve of the arch in her back. "You do, don't you?" Without thought, his fingertips pressed ever so lightly into her skin, unbeknownst he was sending fire through her body.

She nodded and unconsciously arched forward as his fingers pressed into her back, awakening any sleeping nerves. The fire was rising inside and things became vibrant, holding her on the line of reality and ecstasy. Such a simple touch, simple gesture, had affected her so easily. The line was thin, but it was visible and Sheva knew that it was not a border she should tread on with him. He seemed to catch on to her hesitancy when he pulled his hand away, the tension revisiting their space.

That went well and bad. Well if he meant for it to happen and bad if he didn't. And he didn't, so it was overall bad. But he couldn't deny that it felt good to touch her and feel the warmth of her skin, the way she danced with his touch easily. The air was thick with tension around them, all that was heard was scuffling in the background as Fat Marvin continued to play with the cardboard boxes. Feeling bad that he started this whole situation, he felt the need to break it.

"You have something on your shirt," he claimed, pointing to the center of her top with his paint brush.

Sheva looked down to where he was pointing but only saw the bristles coming at her face. She turned her face to the side, feeling the wet paint on her cheek as Chris brought the paint brush up and painted sage green on the side of her face. He didn't stop the roar of laughter as she growled and gasped at him, trying to wipe off the paint only to smear it around on her caramel skin. The green made her eyes even brighter as she looked up at him, trying to fight the laugh and growing smile on her full lips.

"It's not funny, Chris! That was very rude of you, you know that?"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry," he held his hands up, but the laughing wasn't stopping.

Not buying his apology and wanting revenge, she quickly dipped her brush into the can and aimed for his face. But he knew all too well from having a younger sister that she was going to do that, so he held her wrist that was holding the brush and brought his own to her face, only to have her turn away and the paint getting on her neck. She quickly pushed back and grasped for her neck, giggles escaping her. He knew that that was one of her tickle spots and as she giggled from the sensation, he couldn't stop the smile fighting on his lips making his cheeks hurt.

She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed again, closing his eyes for a quick moment. But that moment was too long because next thing he knew, she rubbed the drenched paint brush all over his shirt and up to his jaw before he grabbed her wrist to stop her from touching the face.

"Ah! No more!" he exclaimed as she fought with him, trying to get him again. For a small little thing, she was strong.

Laughing lightly, she relaxed and pulled the paint brush away. "Alright, alright. But I had to get you back. Tricking me into thinking there was something on my shirt. Shame on you, Chris Redfield."

"Well, I hope you're proud of yourself because you got me more than I got you," he said while releasing her wrists. He looked to her to find a faint smile on her lips but her brows were furrowed slightly. "Something the matter?"

Gazing up at him, she wanted to know from him. "Does this mean we're friends, Chris?" Maybe it was a stupid question, but she wanted to know. She wanted to be his friend and forget about what their past was. Start anew and learn about each other all over again, but in a friendly manner. That's all she wanted.

Holding back a sigh, he scratched the back of his neck. "We've always been friends, Shev. So, yes, we're friends."

His heart seemed to ache as she smiled brightly and gave him a pat on the arm, going back to painting the walls instead of him. As he watched the toned muscles in her arm work as she moved her arm back and forth, he found himself mesmerized by the movement. When he had met Sheva, she was a stranger. Then they were partners, then lovers, and then strangers all over again. He unintentionally lied when he said they were always friends, but they were now. Ignoring the unsettling feeling in his body, he went back to painting with her. His friend.


Authors note: I was actually going to add a boulder joke in here, but there wasn't enough space to write one in. But since there is always time for a boulder joke, I'll fit one in some time in the future. Hmm, maybe I can add a "Jill sandwich" joke as well, because I mean, c'mon. Classic.

Sheva Redfield: Claire should have her own talk show! I'd record every episode. :) Haha, that's totally how I see Fat Marvin crying to Chris. "Accept me!" I bet Chris would like a dog. Maybe a German Shepard or Husky. :) Claire should take a tip from you and let those grudges go! Till next time, XOXO :)
Lollipop Lolli: I believe Capcom is in the process of making RE7, but I'm not too sure. I really hope they make another and Sheva will be brought back. Ooh, Georgia, that's exciting! I'm pretty sure they're known for their peaches, but I'm not positive. :) You're seeing more than I have. I'm stuck in New Mexico! D: Well, you don't have to eat a lot on Thanksgiving, but it's hard not to. Especially if the person who made the feast is a good cook. :)
Mss. KB: Sheva is the new therapist for Chris, haha. :P Sheva and Chris's stubbornness is endearing in some sense and that's why they work so well together. I don't know what that song is, but I'm sure it's good. :) Thank you Karina, I'll talk to you soon!
blackbetty454: Thank you! Haha, it's because I have no life! No, I kid, but I just spend most of my time writing. :)
HolleringHawk65: Thank you. :) Mm, yes, they must open up to each other and then get together and then have plentiful babies. Okay, I'm planning way too ahead! :D
wolfspiritqueen: I'm filled anxiety for you! :O
boris mortys: All right, Carlos's name has been fixed. Thanks for pointing it out, I seriously didn't notice but I blame it on Microsoft Word. I don't know if you use it, but it's almost as sneaky as Apple's Siri… Oh, and the Jill/Carlos moment was a present scene as well, but you probably know that. :)
JustSomeGirl17: Flashbacks are so handy, because damn, would you really want to read all of this in dialogue? I know I wouldn't! Maybe that's the big plot twist of the story; Marvin is actually a human trapped in a cat's body, so he eats to make himself feel better. :P Haha, totally. Just painting and then suddenly they're butt naked. O.O Arrivederci, seven layer salsa dip!
toby7400: I'm glad to hear you liked it and thank you!

In the next chapter, you guessed it, the interview with Piers Nivans happens. The interview isn't the longest chapter, but the flashback is super long. In the flashback, Chris and Sheva have a playful chat and they get closer. Ohlala. ;)

-Sarai