XVI. Admitting Is the First Step

'And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know. My weakness I must finally show.' — 'Awake My Soul' by Mumford & Sons

Lagos, Nigeria
March, 2009

Her home was small, but charming. Marigolds bloomed by her front windows and a pomegranate tree stood in the middle of her lawn, making it look like a home of life and cheer. The inside was just as lively with bright colors and sunlight illuminating up the rooms, photos hung on the walls that showed happy moments from the past, her lavender mixed with jasmine scent whiffing through the home making it serene. The home spoke Sheva and her tranquility.

The car ride here was a silent one. Sheva was festering on how she would ask him about his intentions concerning coming to Africa. While he drove and looked on at the road ahead, she fidgeted with her hands and clothing, trying to come up with some way to ask him, but the more she tried, the harder it'd be to bring it up. So as the African melodies played on the radio and his hands gripped the steering wheel, the more she feared what his answer would be. She feared that her nightmares would come true and the only reason he came to Africa was to save Jill. And now as they stepped into her home, she could feel the words just bubbling at the surface, ready to be spoken.

Chris closed the door behind him and looked around her home with wondering eyes. "Sorry, I would have picked up more if I knew that I'd have a guest," Sheva spoke for the first time since the hospital, rubbing her neck with a sigh escaping her lungs.

Her place wasn't even that messy, but he didn't say anything. He noticed how she had been rubbing her neck the entire time while he drove. "You okay?" he questioned, motioning to her neck.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine," she tried explaining. "Now I know why you couldn't sleep in those chairs."

"Your neck aches," he stated without her having to say. "Come here," he murmured as he raised his hand to her shoulder, his fingertips brushing the curve of her neck. She abruptly swatted his hand away and giggled. Furrowing his brows in query, he tried to touching her neck again only to have her giggle more. "Are you ticklish?" he asked, a grin growing on his face.

"Uh, no," she muttered, but when he touched the nape of her neck, she giggled so much she snorted. She clamped a hand over her mouth in embarrassment, thus gaining a throaty chuckle from Chris.

"You're ticklish," he claimed as he captured her and tried tickling her neck, but she raised her shoulders and held his wrists to keep him from tickling her. This went on for a small moment and she kept snorting as deep red blush rose to her cheeks, but Chris thought it was cute. When she had escaped his grasp, he calmed down and told her to do the same. "Come here, Shev. I won't tickle you."

"Yes, you will. I can see it in your eyes."

"Look, scouts honor," he crossed his fingers for her to see and stepped to her. She took a small step back but let him touch her shoulders. "I won't tickle you," he murmured as he slowly ran his hands to her neck. She stiffened and a few snickers sounded, but she stayed still. And when his fingertips pressed gently into the nape of her neck and his thumbs touched the edge of her jaw, she relaxed in his hands. "Better?" he inquired in hushed voice.

Her eyelids seemed to close on their own as she nodded. What was happening to her body? It seemed she had no control of her movements when she was with him. She gently gripped his forearms as her body leaned into him, relaxing into the length of his physique. This was going too far, but her body didn't move unless he manipulated her movements with his hands.

God, she was so good to touch. She reacted so easily to his touch, like he had to hers. This was all too perfect that he wasn't sure if he was back at base still asleep in his bunker. But when the sweet sigh hummed in her mouth, he knew this was real and that perfection just might be, too. Maybe this was going too far, but he couldn't—no wouldn't—stop. Taking a small chance, he leaned to her even more and pressed his lips to her forehead. They seemed to sigh at the same time at the contact and all he wanted to do was hold his lips to her skin and freeze in time like that.

"Chris?" Sheva sighed, tugging at his arms.

"Yes?" he breathed with his lips still on her skin.

This moment had gone too far, Sheva thought. She needed to ask him. Now or never. "Why did you come here, Chris?"

"What?" He pulled away, keeping his hands on her neck, and looked at her confusedly. "Because I wanted to drive you home."

"No," she shook her head. "Why did you come here to Africa? To Kijuju?"

He stepped back and let his hands fall when he felt the seriousness of her question. "Uh, because I was sent on a mission involving Irving."

"Really? Or did you come here to find Jill?"

Something was wrong. The way she asked—or rather accused, it seemed—came out sounding harsh. The soft expression that her body conveyed now was replaced with an invisible wall, as if she was putting up forces in case something went wrong. Her brow was arched and as she crossed her arms, Chris knew that she was cautious of him. And it hurt like he wished it hadn't.

"What are you talking about, Sheva? You know I came here for the mission." But he wasn't sure if she did know. The way she looked at him gave him the impression that she didn't understand him at all.

Her walls were building to a height that she was too familiar with. And that same guilty feeling she'd get when this happened reappeared in her conscious as her body tensed with the hurt expression in his brown eyes. She had offended him and they hadn't even gotten to the thickest part of the conversation yet.

"The whole time during the mission, I noticed something. What am I saying? Probably everyone noticed that you had a dilemma. You were keeping something from me and now I know that it was because you were looking for Jill. But was that the only reason you came here? Did you even care that people were suffering here?"

As his shoulders tensed and his eyes flickered to a look of anger, Sheva knew that she had hit a tick. And she wished she could take it back. Because this was a turning point in their relationship and it wasn't for the better it seemed. She had definitely offended him now.

"How can you ask me that?" his question came out low and gravelly. Was she truly unbeknownst to how offensive that was to someone that had gone through a life like his own? Did she really think that he had no care for his fellow people? That he just did this because it was for his benefit? "Do you really think that little of me?"

Despite the imaginary walls and her strong will over her emotions, she could feel tears behind her eyes, just asking to come to the surface and spill. But she took a step back and shook her head. "Please, Chris. Just answer the question, that's all I want."

Had she been leading him on? How could he have been touching her just a moment before and so close to actually kissing her to this? This hostile and uncomfortable, yet now irreversible situation. She just wanted an answer, so he gave it to her.

"Yes, Sheva. I came here to find Jill. I came here because I wanted to find someone that I've gone through hell with and someone who I just couldn't accept was dead. But I also came here because people were in danger. Because all I have ever done is for the safety of others. All I've ever wanted to do was make this world better, but I'm just one person, Sheva. I may be selfish once in a while, but all I have ever done is care for the people that suffer and all I've ever done is help, because that's all I've ever known to do."

Uh oh, there was an anger rising. Anger he had gotten only so few times in his life. First when he was 16—child protective services tried to take Claire away from him, but he ran away with her, skipping towns and taking up random odd jobs under different names to keep his baby sister fed and safe, all the while under his care and not some foster parent's. When he was 19—he was going on a major mission while in the US Air Force and his commander wanted to replace him with someone with more experience to fly a jet, but he had managed to take the mission and succeeded. When he was 24—his captain of the Alpha Team in STARS, Albert Wesker, told him that maybe he wasn't cut out for this sort of line of work, but he proved him by pushing himself. This was an anger he got when people questioned not only his skills, but his character and responsibility. And now here with Sheva questioning him made him want to prove to her that he was a good person and that she had him all wrong.

"Then why did you keep that from me?" she pushed, slightly scared of the dark look in his eyes.

He held back the need to roll his eyes at her. Was she listening at all? "Oh, c'mon. If I told you when we met that I was also here to look for my dead partner, would you really have gone on the mission with me?"

"But I did," she sternly reminded him. "When you told me about Jill, I stuck by you. I continued on."

"Not before you wanted to leave and go back to base," he threw back, meeting her firm gaze.

The truth and accusation of that hurt. "Because I was scared! I had just seen all my brothers' dead, Chris. The people that I had grown to know and loved were dead. Right there. Gone. And I couldn't do anything about it." She pointed at the ground as if she was gesturing to the corpses of her fallen brothers. Those tears were just begging to be released. "But I stayed."

"And why did you stay, Sheva?" he inquired with a quieter voice. This is something he wanted to know since she had made the choice to stay by his side as they disobeyed orders and went on with the deadly chase of Wesker and search for Jill.

With tense muscles, she shrugged with a soft scoff at herself. "Because Wesker needed to be stopped."

"No," he took steps to her, trying to get her to look at him. "There's another reason, Sheva. Why did you stay with me?"

As he came closer, the more tears fought behind her lids and the harder her heart thumped in her chest. She could see the anticipation in his face and he begged for the truth. So, daring to do something she rarely ever did, she told him.

"Because I couldn't let any more people die. Because there was a woman that needed our help and people were dying from this parasite. And because…because I care for you."

If she hadn't been looking at the floor then she might have seen him nearly charge for her. And when an arm wrapped around her waist and a hand went to the back of her head, her walls crumbled with their closeness and the honesty of her confession. So when his lips pressed against hers in a hungry kiss, she realized that these walls weren't coming up anytime soon.

She cared for him. That's all he wanted to hear. When she spoke the words, he couldn't hold back any longer and let go of his anger, freeing himself from the restraints that he put on himself not to move too fast with her and scare her away. But all he needed was to feel her, to taste her lips and tongue. As their tongues touched, his body became a roaring fire and his being buzzed with life. It almost hurt. The way he felt was so overwhelming that he might just fall to the ground and wait out this feeling to leave. But as she responded just as eagerly as he did, he understood this feeling wasn't going away for a long time, if not ever.

"You care for me?" he queried, taking a breath to speak but quickly went back to kissing her, not wanting to be away from her lips.

She pulled away slightly, looking him in his husky eyes. "I do. And it scares me, Chris."

"Never be scared, baby. I care for you, too, you know? So much."

Her heart and mind screamed at her, telling her to make her decision but also giving her valid reasons why to choose one more than the other. And when Chris's hand slid under up the back of her blouse and ran his bare palm against the warmth of her naked skin, she made her decision.

Grabbing his hands and pulling them away, but not letting go, she pulled him along to walk with her down the hall to her bedroom. She wanted to giggle when she could see he gulped as he realized where she was taking him but he kept up with her, pulling her against him and picking her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked to her bedroom. Kissing him tenderly, she prayed that she had made the right decision. She had to trust herself and she had to trust Chris, because her heart had won.

Los Angeles, USA
November, 2011

It was a silly joke and she couldn't even remember what it was about, but Sheva couldn't stop laughing. Piers chuckled next to her as they entered the BSSA office building, feeling amused that he got her to laugh. She'd calm down for a few moments and then think for a second, breaking out in laughter suddenly. As they got into the elevator and Piers clicked the button to the floor they needed to go to, Sheva leaned on the back wall and finally calmed down.

"Thank you for lunch," she told him, a small smile remaining on her lips.

Joining her and leaning on the wall, he studied her happy expression. "You're welcome."

Sheva gazed at him for small moment, scrutinizing his boyish face. His naturally narrowed eyes and pouty lips were tantalizing, and oddly Sheva was comfortable thinking of him this way. She could see him looking at her as if he was trying to learn every feature of her face. Crazy enough, she didn't feel awkward or modest, she felt confident and let him look at her. Sighing contently, she stood straight and looked to the level indicator above the elevator doors.

"Next time I'm buying, though," Sheva stated, looking at him when he laughed.

"Next time?" he questioned, inwardly cheering for victory.

Giving him back his own smirk, Sheva shrugged and stepped out of the elevator when the doors opened. "Coworkers can have lunch, right?" she queried as they made way to her office.

"Right," he replied with a faint smile tugging at his lips.

When they made it to the door of her office, he prepared to bid her goodbye until they'd see each other again, hopefully that'd be soon. She stopped at her door and turned to him as if waiting for him to say something. He stuck his hands in his pockets and said, "I had a good time, Sheva."

"I did, too," she murmured, seemingly caught in the moment. She wasn't completely sure why she was acting this way, but she liked it. And for the first time, it didn't scare her. What was it about Piers Nivans that made her at ease and actually anticipate the more time she could spend with him? With past men that she liked, she wouldn't be so comfortable and wouldn't even think about future moments with them. Well, most men. There was one that she had a past with that she could imagine more with but she pushed him away and now she was working in the same branch he did and was best friends with his sister.

Piers was so different than the other guys. Maybe it was his confidence that seemed to be contagious and his easygoing personality. As he was about to say goodbye, she spoke before he did and asked him something she had been curious about.

"Yesterday during the interview, you said that you wanted to be part of the military since you could remember. Was that the only thing you wanted to be?"

Caught off guard by the question, Piers was slightly pleased that she had wondered. Not that his answer was important, but that she had thought about him made him glad. "I, uh, actually wanted to be a guitarist when I was young."

"A guitarist?" Sheva asked intrigued. That was the last thing she would have guessed he'd answer with.

He shrugged. "Yeah, I was just a kid and I was going to guitar lessons then. So I wanted to be a guitarist, but the choice to join the military won."

"Do you still play?"

"Not anymore," he told her with a shake of his head. "I kept playing till 15 then stopped. Lost interest, I guess."

She thought for a moment, then nodded. Turning around, she opened her office door and walked inside, smiling back at him. "I guess I'll see you soon then."

"I guess so," he replied. He gave her a temporary goodbye and turned to walk off as she closed her office door.

As he was close to the elevators, a small woman who looked to be 5'3" bumped into him, accidently knocking the papers from her hands to the floor in the process. He apologized quickly and went to bend down and help the woman pick up the paperwork that had just fallen.

"Sorry about that," he said.

"Oh, don't worry about it," the woman told him. "It happens, right?" As they stood and he handed the papers to her, the woman smiled at him and scrutinized his face. "You're one of the recruits, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah, you could say that. I'm Piers Nivans."

"I'm Rebecca Coen-Chambers," the woman replied, giving him a knowing smile.

Her plan to walk into him worked. Becca had waited for a moment when Piers left Sheva and then she took action and bumped into him on purpose. Now as she was finally talking to him, she knew that she was off to a good start. All she needed to do was talk to him, convince him somehow that Sheva was open to a relationship, prove to Claire that she could be a good matchmaker and everyone could live happily ever after. She walked into the elevator with him and asked if he could press the button to the floor she needed to go.

"So, how's training going?" she casually inquired, trying to sound as natural as possible.

Piers looked to Rebecca and studied her closely. Small, married by the looks of the ring on her left hand, possibly had children because of the necklace she wore had three birthstones decorating it, two stones the same type. She wasn't hitting on him so that made him feel better and she seemed to just be making small talk. But he couldn't help but think that maybe she was talking to him with purpose and intention.

"It's fine, thank you," he plainly replied.

"It's been a long time since I went through that, but I remember the pressure was intense. I'm part of the research team so it was majorly book studies. I just remember the coaches were always on my back to do the best. Are they like that with you?"

Piers realized he recognized Rebecca. When he had seen Sheva for the first time last week when she was up in the sound box while he was practicing in the shooting range, he remembered a small woman standing by her. And now Piers knew that the woman he was conversing with now was the same woman that was standing by Sheva in the sound box last week.

"Only some, but it's easy otherwise."

Becca wanted to giggle at his masculine response to say that it was easy. If she was single, didn't have any children and this was 1998, Becca would have said he was cute. But she had her other half, Billy, and their three kids. She could never go without the blessing she already had.

"That's good to hear. You know, since you helped me with my files, I could put in a good word for you with Sheva Alomar. She's the one evaluating all of you. Only if you want me to that is."

Piers fought off the smirk to know that he didn't really need someone's word to be on Sheva's good list. He seemed to be doing pretty good on his own. He gave the woman a nod and watched as she stepped out of the elevator.

"Thank you. I'll let you know if I ever need some help with Agent Alomar's opinion about me." Not that I need help, Piers thought eagerly. He was a confident man, that much could be said. But there was something about Sheva that made him want to talk to her all the time and be himself, which he never did or wanted.

Rebecca gave him a happy smile as the doors closed and when he was no longer in earshot, she did a fist pump and squealed. It was a slow start, but successful nonetheless. She didn't even have to do much and Piers and Sheva were already talking. At that point, she wanted to go tell everyone in the office, but held it in. Once the two officially got together, she'd tell everyone her part in it and then brag to Claire about it all. She just had to be patient and subtle about it all. One more squeal, Rebecca scurried off to do her work and as she walked to the copy room, she knew she was doing a good deed.

Authors note: I know this one was a little short, but I hope it suffices. I think I'm gonna need to start picking up the event pace with this story, because the timeline I have in mind is super long and if I keep going like this, it'll take forever until we see the end!

HolleringHawk65: More Piers is like a gift! :P
Sheva Redfield: I hope your trip back to Kansas was safe and fun! I'll talk to you soon, XOXO.
misssherrymuller: Thank you! I can't wait for yours either. :)
toby7400: I personally am having a hard time totally warming up to ShevaXPiers. Overall I'm more of a Creva supporter, but Piers is a good second. :P Oh, thank you for worrying about it, but I agree with you about the whole pairing situation and drama. Just kinda needs to go like that for the sake of the plot.
wolfspiritqueen: I know! I like what's happening more in the flashback more than the present! :P
JustSomeGirl17: Grace is sassy with an attitude. :P I agree on the Sheva and Piers thing. I'm trying to warm up to them, but it's a little hard. However, I needed someone to fill that spot where Piers is now and it had to be Piers because Piers' death is canon. So no one can hate on my when he bites the dust, right? :P Piers and Sheva totally whoop Chris's butt in making him see straight. And they both stuck by him, so they deserve huge awards for that! Yes, it's like Team Claire or Team Rebecca… A war will break out! :P Arrivederci, my bright dandelion!
ShevaGiulia: And now they kissed fully! Haha, isn't that terrible that all this is happening while Jill is asleep right next to them? But funny, nonetheless. :) African Jewel. Perfect name for Sheva. Even though I don't mind Piers and Sheva together, it's still hard to imagine Sheva with anyone but Chris right now. :P Talk to you soon, Giulia! :)
boicer11: Oh, wow. I'm really flattered that despite not liking these pairings you're still willing to read my story. If you don't mind me asking, what pairings do you like? :)
borismortys: Right? The entire time I was writing this I was like, 'man, Jill would have a field day if she knew what was happening next to her while she slept.' :P Oh my, Capcom and those special costumes they give the characters. They can give you a good laugh!

In the next chapter, Sheva and Claire have some girl time and catch up. I'm most excited for the flashback and all its "cuteness". Chris will ask Sheva something that sparks the downfall of their love affair. :( How was that for anticlimactic?

-Sarai