I do not own the Fate series or any of the series' used here.

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!" Cole sobbed out as he chugged down another bottle of good ol' Captain Morgan before throwing it to the floor. Naruto looked nervously at the man while Lelouch sighed and patted him on the back.

"It's alright MacGrath. It'll only be a matter of time before someone picks up your story…" Lelouch mumbled before Cole swatted his hand away.

"No, there won't be!" Cole shouted before reaching over the counter, grabbing another bottle of alcohol, and opened the bottle. After he chugged down its contents, Cole threw the bottle to the side and shouted, "My game has never been popular! Have you even seen how many stories are on this site? Nobody will want to pick my story out because my very character is not popular enough! My life is over!"

"Are you even going to pay for those?" Naruto asked, only for Cole to sob even harder while Lelouch inched away.

"Now come on my good man, give this guy a break!" A joking voice cheekily shouted, making Naruto look to the side to see a man in a red jacket, long sideburns, a dark blue shirt, a yellow tie, cream pants, and brown shoes flashing him a toothy grin.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked, only for the guy to flash him a toothy grin.

"Name's Lupin my good man!" Lupin shouted before digging into his pocket and throwing on the table a handful of gold coins. "Fellas, the drinks are on me! Going to be staying here for a while."

"Great, another one…" Naruto groaned before Lupin reached over the counter and grabbed a bottle of wine.

Lupin then turned to the 'screen', flashed the 'viewers' a toothy grin, before shouting, "It's starting!"

Carnival Frenzy

Fuyuki City was quiet at night. And not just because of the fact that most sane people would be staying asleep at midnight (The few exceptions being some teenagers browsing the net or some brats who want to watch a scary movie.). No, it was quiet for another reason.

You see, this normally peaceful Japanese City was quiet because there were no battles between Legendary Heroes taking place.

Fuyuki City was the host of a grand battle known as the Holy Grail War. Legendary Heroes are brought back to life by Magi to do glorious battle for the ultimate prize: The Holy Grail. Normally, the nighttime was the ideal hour to perform these battles.

So why was everything so eerily still and quiet?

"BURP!"

What the Hell?

"WOOOHHHOOO!" Wade shouted as he put his face closer to the microphone before shouting, "Come on people, it's been two months since this thing has been updated! It's time to partly like there is no tomorrow!" The former Assassin was wearing a red and black hoodie, baggy black pants, and his head covered by a black cap that had the symbol that was worn on his belt in the middle of his forehead. On his neck were several gaudy gold necklaces, otherwise known as 'bling' in some circles.

"But there isn't a tomorrow, remember?" Kirei reminded, flashing Wade a grin. He was in his usual priest clothes, but his head was covered by a black cap that spelled out the words 'CRUNK' in big white capital letters.

"Eh, details, details." Wade responded while shrugging as he looked around the bar.

Yes, they were in the bar. Kirei had decided to have a temporary ceasefire day between the Masters and Servants and had invited all of them to a nearby bar to relax and unwind.

So far, most of the partygoers have all somehow gotten drunk. Even the underage teenagers! (Not that they knew that. Kirei slipped something into all of their drinks.) The only one not drunk was Archer, who just sat in his comfy chair by the dartboard while watching everyone else with an amused grin on his face as he drank his milk.

"Whelp! Time to do our jobs!" Wade suddenly declared, holding a record that was labeled 'Persona 3'. "I mean, what's a party without music?"

"I couldn't agree with you more." Kirei said with a smirk as he grabbed the record and put it on the turntable. "Now we're going to party like rock stars!"

Play Persona 3 OST- Burn My Dread:

"I have never been so *hic* disgraced in my life!" Saber cried out, anime tears falling down her cheeks as she pushed the huge beer mug to the side, a new one instantly sliding to her hand. One could notice that her cheeks were flushed, and she was ever so slightly swaying from side to side on her stool. "On every battle of this War, I have been nothing but a joke! All the Servants… they outmatch me in almost every way!" She then grabbed the mug and threw her head back as she chugged the alcoholic contents before setting it back down, completely dry.

"I-I *hic* understand…" Avenger muttered, sitting beside her as he downed another martini. "But do you *hic* know what it's like to be against fictional heroes? How the Hell is it even possible that they exist?"

"Not only that, but my *hic* own allies win all the fights for me!" Saber whined as she chugged another beer mug. "T-The fact that all the women in this war have bigger breasts than I do is just rubbing salt in the wound!" She then cupped herself for emphasis, crying as she did so. "I-It's not my fault that I became this way! *hic* I-If Avalon did not stop my aging, I would have beaten them all! I know it!"

"I mean, how can I face Simon the Digger?" Avenger complained as the bartender refilled his martini. "He can throw fucking galaxies, and he beat the Anti-Spiral by punching it! I-I'm not GAR enough to beat something like that!"

"Even Lancer beats me, and she is *hic* younger than Shirou!" Saber sobbed out while planting her face on the counter. "Why? Why must I be put in a war full of fools and powerhouses? Are my sins so great that you feel like you must torture me so, God?"

"Please, you think God is in control here?" Wade laughed over the music. "You're disillusioned there, Artie!"

"Indeed. Take from myself, a priest, that there is no God. There is only TIM." Kirei declared. He paused before speaking again, adding an afterthought. "And Bea Arthur. Though the latter is the only one truly fit for worship."

"Amen to that!"

Saber and Archer were too busy drowning themselves in alcohol to pay attention to the duo's words as they shared a brofist. They simply continued to whine and complain.

"I know I deserve a lot of crap for what I did in life, but even I think this is too much!" Avenger shouted while shaking his fist to the heavens. "I just want to kill my past self to prevent me from ever becoming a hero! Is that so much to as-?" Realization then appeared on Avenger's face as he muttered, "Oh…"

"Y-you understand my pain…" Saber muttered as she gazed upon Avenger, She then pulled him into a hug before shouting, "We are true siblings to the torture tha-KYAH!" She then pushed off Avenger, who was now looking at his hands with his cloudy eye and a confused expression on it. "W-what do you think you're doing you fool!?"

Avenger said nothing, but instead reached out with his right hand and copped a feel of Saber's bust, only for her to swat it away after a second. "…Huh? Sakura…" Avenger muttered, now looking at Saber while swaying from side to side. "…What happened to your breasts…?"

Saber's face went bright red from righteous anger and embarrassment. This man had the gall to grope her, and he was now mistaking her for another girl?

Such a crime cannot go unpunished.

"GAO!" Saber let out a cry of fury before tackling Avenger to the ground, making the Servant snap out of his drunken haze.

"S-Saber? What are yo-OH GOD NO! PLEASE, STOP! GHHHHAAAA!"

Despite Avenger's screams of pain, nobody paid him any mind.

Elsewhere In The Bar (Play Persona 3 Portable OST- Wiping All Out):

Waver bit on the cigar in his mouth (not lit, since the bar doesn't allow for smoking) and sorely wish that anti-smoking laws weren't so damn strict. He looked at his hands and thought only one thing:

"This time, the pot is mine!"

Yes, currently Waver Velvet was gambling. He was gambling all the money he had managed to save on his trip to Fuyuki City, in hopes of getting a bit of spending money.

Unfortunately, things were not going well for him.

The cause of that being the two people in front of him and the one to his right side. In front of him were two people whose normal expressions were their goddamn poker faces! He couldn't tell if they were bluffing during a hand or completely serious! Waver looked up from his cards to see if they were (however unlikely it was) slipping up.

Maiya and Souichirou continued to look at their cards, not saying a word and their blank expressions not changing. Hell, they didn't even blink!

"Hurry up! Y-your hesitation is causing my Master distress!" The angry redhead to his side shouted, making Waver turn his head to see Caster glaring at him with her cheeks flushed, her hands slightly drooped, making him see that she had three black twos, a Jack, and an a three. Meaning that she had a Three of a Kind.

While Caster had made it easy for him to see what she had, her aggravated drunken state did not. She always broke his concentration, always making his own poker face slip up and making it easier for Maiya and Souichirou to tell if he was bluffing!

"But no, I can't give up no matter what!" Waver shouted in his mind, looking at his two enemies with a determined expression on his face. "Members of Team Dai-Gurren never give up! We kick logic out and do the impossible! That's how we roll!"

"Call." Souichirou said blandly, making Waver gulp before he nodded.

"Raise." Waver declared, throwing two extra chips to the center of the table.

Maiya tapped the table two times before saying, "Call."

"All in!" Caster declared, pushing all her chips to the center of the table. The Servant then placed her hand on the table and proudly shouted, "Three of a Kind!"

"Flush." Maiya announced before putting her hand on the table, showing that she had a Jack, an eight, a five, a three, and a two.

Waver then grinned. This was his chance! He placed his cards on the table and spoke, "Full House!" The cards that he had were three Kings and two Fives.

He had been keeping the cards a secret for most of the round, not letting Caster's drunken rants get to him. He was able to keep his poker face mostly straight, and it looks like it was going to pay off! He was going to get the good cigars tonight!

"Four of a Kind."

"Huh?" Waver muttered as he looked at Souichirou's hand, revealing four Queens and a three. Waver groaned as he palmed his face towards the money he had just watched while Souichirou gathered the chips from the pot.

"Oh Master, I knew you would succeed!" Caster gushed as she hugged Maiya. "Those who are a part of Fairy Tail will always triumph!"

"Please let go of me." Maiya growled out in annoyance, making Caster push her away.

"How dare you try to disguise yourself as my Master?" Caster shouted in anger as she glared at Maiya, her eyes promising unbearable agony for the woman.

Waver sighed before he found his glass of scotch refilled. He looked to his side to see Cristina smiling while holding the bottle. "Thank you. You are a lifesaver." Waver then began to down the glass while Cristina just nodded.

"Of course husband. I'm sure that you'll win eventually." Cristina said with a soothing voice before walking back to her chair, where her laptop awaited. As soon as she opened it, she began to write more about the poker game.

Only with some… slight changes.

Some involving the removing of clothes, among… other things.

Elsewhere (Play Persona 3 OST- Burn My Dread {Last Battle}):

Rider grinned as he looked at his opponent before shouting, "Prepare yourself you bastard!" He then threw an object into the air, spinning as it went up, and landed onto the smooth table a second later as Rider shouted, "GGGGHHHHHHAAAAAA!" before…

He hit the air hockey puck to Berserker.

Berserker's eyes sheened in their usual bluish-white color before he posed with his arms crossed, his inaudible thoughts conveying…

"No, it is you who should prepare foul villain! For with this strike, I will win in the name of JUSTICE!"

In the flash of light, Berserker hit the puck back to Rider, who intercepted it just as fast as him. The two continued to hit the puck back and forth on the air hockey table, their forms becoming nothing but blurs as they continued playing,

Then, Rider twisted his arm to hit the puck, making it bounce at an angle that made it so fast that not even Berserker could catch it. As it sunk into the goal, Rider smirked before going to the chalkboard behind him.

Rider- 999

Berserker- 999

Rider added one more point to his score before turning to Berserker, grinning as he took the now smoking puck and held it up while asking, "You ready for another round?

Berserker nodded, giving Rider a thumbs up while his thoughts conveyed this message:

"An ally of JUSTICE will never surrender or retreat!"

From across the room where he was seated, Archer calmly sat in his seat as he watched the epic battle between the two most powerful Servants in the War unfold.

"It's crazy how the puck hasn't touched the table once during the match so far..." Archer noted as he sipped his glass of milk. He had his doubts that either of the two Servants knew how to play the game correctly.

Elsewhere:

"Alright! Time for the King's Game!" Illyasviel cheered as she held up the chopsticks, her face flushed as she motioned to Shirou, Luvia, Sakura, and Rin. "You know the rules! Whoever gets the red one is the king!"

"Miss…" Shirou muttered in a husky voice to Sola-Ui, dressed in a maid's outfit while carrying a small tray. He held up his glass before saying, "Fill her up, and keep them coming…"

"…Just how drunk are you, Emiya?" Rin muttered before looking back at Illyasviel. "L-Look! We can't play this now! W-What if we…"

"Are you scared Tohsaka?" Luvia sneered out as she smirked with a haughty expression on her face. "To think that the Tohsakas even quake in their boots towards a simple game…"

"I-I'm not scared!" Rin declared, her face beet red as she glared at Luvia. "I-I'm just not a big pervert like you Edelfelts!"

"It does not matter, because I will be king!" Sakura declared as she got onto her feet and pumped her fist into the air. "I will have Sempai all for myself! And my demand will be for him to have his wa-"

"MOU! JUST PICK YOUR NUMBER ALREADY!" Illyasviel yelled out, making everyone look at her before instantly reaching out and grabbing a chopstick. Illyasviel then smiled before asking, "Now, who is the king?"

"Not me…" Rin muttered as she looked down on her chopstick, the end having a number rather than a red mark.

"Not me…" Luvia sighed out in disappointment.

"Damn it!" Sakura declared as she glared at her chopstick. "Then who is…"

Play Persona 3 OST- Mass Destruction-

"Hmph." Shirou declared confidently as he turned around and looked down at all the girls as he held out his chopsticks, the end having a red marker. "I'm the king."

"NO WAY!" Rin shouted as she pointed at Shirou. "Redo it!"

"No!" Illyasviel shouted while flailing her arms around. "There are no redos in the game!"

"What are your demands, my noble king?" Luvia asked dreamily while Shirou smirked.

"Number four…. Must suck face with me!" Shirou declared, making all the girls go wide-eyed at him. What happened to the normal, clueless Shirou?

Sakura, it seemed, couldn't care less. "I'm number four!" Sakura shouted as she skipped over to Shirou before she sat on his lap and cupped his face. "Sempai…" She then crashed her lips onto his, and hummed happily as he hugged her closer.

"Okay, that's enough…" Rin muttered as Shirou and Sakura continued to kiss. "You can stop now…" She said in a much more annoyed tone, while they kept on playing tonsil hockey. "WILL YOU TWO CUT IT OUT!?"

The two broke apart, but Sakura kept sitting on Shirou's lap while the boy's face adopted a haughty expression. It looked odd on one who was normally so polite and dense.

"What are your other demands?" Illyasviel asked with a dreamy expression on her face, now imagining herself in the place of Sakura, while Shirou just smirked.

"Number three must allow me to spoon her!" Shirou shouted, making Rin gape at him. Did becoming drunk unleash his inner pervert or something?

Luvia smiled happily before she walked over to Shirou and pushed Sakura to the side with a small bump. She then leaned on his right side while Shirou's arm snaked around her. Luvia sighed happily before she muttered, "If only Saber were…" Her eyes then snapped open before she stuttered out, "Y-You didn't hear that!"

"Come on! Who goes next?" Illyasviel whined, while Shirou stopped to think.

"Number one… must twirl her skirt in front of me!" Shirou shouted, making Rin look at her chopsticks. Her number was number one!

"N-No way!" Rin denied while looking away with a blush on her face. "I-I won't do it you pervert!"

"The king's orders are…" Illyasviel began while glaring at Rin.

"ABSOLUTE!" Shirou finished for her, making Rin let out a small 'eep' before she hesitantly nodded and stood up.

"T-this is because I wanted to alright?" Rin stuttered out while glaring at Shirou. "N-Not because you told me to!" She then twirled around like a ballerina, feeling her small skirt begin to rise up because of the wind and causing her to blush heavily. She then stopped, turning to Shirou who only gave her an approving nod.

"I like stripped panties." Shirou announced, making Rin look down while twiddling her feet.

"So? So? What do I get my king?" Illyasviel asked in an excited voice as she jumped in her seat. Would he perhaps sweep her off her feet like he did with Sakura? Or perhaps he would give her a nice soothing back massage? Or maybe a foot massage! Each possibility was better than the last.

Shirou gave her a big, bright smile before saying, "The king says that you shall receive… a piggy back ride!

…and then all her dreams crashed and fell like broken glass.

Elsewhere (Play Persona 3 OST- Heaven's Remix):

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!" Assassin shouted as he ran to the bathroom, his arms clutching his stomach and his face dangerously green. "I-I don't think I can…!" His cheeks then bulged and his hands covered his mouth, while Tsubaki followed behind him with a distressed expression on her face while she held a paper bag in her hands.

"J-Just hang on Black*Star! We're almost there!" Tsubaki yelled, however in her mind she was crying. Why didn't her partner listen to her when she told him to stop gorging down all the bar snacks and drinks? "J-Just hold on a bit longer!" Assassin's cheeks debulged while he gasped for air, making Tsubaki think, "Gross…"

Assassin then spotted the bathroom door, near a wall where Sola-Ui was leaning against with a scowl on her face. He rushed past her, with Tsubaki at his heels, before kicking open the door. Assassin ran to the first bathroom stall and opened it to see…

"Oh my beautiful Hound of Ulster…" Bazette muttered as she hugged the person-sized pillow closer to her, the image of Cu Chulainn in modern-day pajamas printed on it. She drew her face closer to the pillow's 'face' before muttering, "We will finally be together…" She then buried her head into the pillow, making audible kissing sounds.

"GAH!" Tsubaki cried out before slamming the stall closed before pushing the Assassin to the next one. "D-Do it in here!" She then opened it…

…Only to find Ikari Shinji and Fujimura Taiga barely clothed and making out. Tsubaki blushed as red as a tomato while Assassin heard a slight *thump* noise from above. He looked up to see Lancer peeking out of the air ducts, holding a camera with a small light flashing red, confirming that she was recording the scene.

Assassin stared at Lancer.

Lancer stared back.

Assassin continued to stare at Lancer.

Lancer continued to stare back.

Assassin blinked.

Lancer did not.

At this point, Assassin looked back down before slowly closing the stall door. He then to the next one and shouted, "I don't care who's in it! I'm going to blo-urk!" Assassin's cheeks then bulged as he opened to door before letting loose what he had for dinner…

...All over one Matou Shinji, who was in the process of pulling up his pants.

"GAH!" Matou Shinji shouted as he ran past Assassin and Tsubaki, the Noble Phantasm just blinking in shock at the scene.

"What…?" Tsubaki began, but then she noticed Assassin swaying side to side before falling over. "Black*Star!" She then caught her Meister before he hit the floor, the Servant snoring as he lay in her arms. "Oh…" Tsubaki muttered with a small smile on her face before she hefted Assassin on her back in a piggyback ride, slightly blushing at the contact. "Okay, I think it's time that we go ho-KYAH!" Two hands then grabbed her breasts, making Tsubaki shout in shock while Assassin drooled on her shoulder.

"Yeah, ain't so tough now are ya, you big marshmallow…" Assassin muttered sleepily before he was dropped to the floor, and ten shurriken embedded into his head. "GGGAAAAAHHHHH!"

Needless to say, the janitors were going to be pissed in the morning.

Elsewhere:

"That damn Servant!" Matou Shinji ranted as he stomped out of the bathroom; barf covering most of his bottom half as he headed for the door. "How could he do this to me, his better? When Sakura gets home, I will…"

"TAKE THIS!" Rider shouted as he hit the puck harder than ever before, making the thing shoot forward like a bullet and Berserker jump out of the way to save himself. "Oh crap, look out!"

"Huh?" Matou Shinji asked as he turned around, only for the puck to go through his face and out of the back of his head. It continued on out of the bar, crashing through the window, while Matou Shinji's corpse flopped to the ground.

"Crap, now we have to clean that up!" Wade whined out while everyone shrugged and went about their business, as if nothing happened.

"Well, we know where this is going…" Kirei muttered as he began to drag Matou Shinji's corpse to the trash bin.

Meanwhile:

The puck continued to fly in the night sky, leaving a trail of fire and smoke as it continued on. It passed by a crane, snapping its cable in half as it continued onwards into space. The item formerly held by the crane, a piano, plummeted to the Earth.

At this moment, Kayneth Archibald noticed a shadow forming over him growing bigger and bigger, causing him to look up and say the only intelligent thing he could.

"OH WHAT THE F-"

A moment later, it was discovered that the piano was finely tuned, and that the sound of its keys blocked out the sound of Kayneth's corpse being splattered under it.

Back At The Bar:

"Kayneth just died." Wade mentioned as he looked through the various records inside of the box near him, not sounding all that concerned.

"Who the fuck cares?" Kirei said in a tone that basically relayed the fact that he didn't give a shit. He continued to hit and stomp on Matou Shinji's corpse in an attempt to fit it completely inside of the garbage can. "The problem is that this chapter's coming to a close."

"Aw man! That's way too damn short…" Wade whined out before shrugging. "Ah well, might as well enjoy it while it lasts…"

Elsewhere:

"Yo, Archer!" Rider shouted, walking to the relaxing Servant who looked up at him. "Lost the puck that I was using to play against Berserker. You wanna play a game of darts?"

Archer thought about this for a second. On one hand, it was fun enough to watch everyone act all crazy while they were drunk. On the other hand, it would be nice to actually play a game with someone. Archer then smirked before nodding at Rider. "Sure! But I won't go easy on you!"

"Just don't get distracted for a second! I won't go easy on you either!" Rider laughed out before noticing Archer glaring at him. "What?"

"Just because I have cat-like eyes and my nickname is Black Cat, it doesn't mean I'm totally like a cat!" Archer shouted, flailing his arms around. "I just like milk okay? I won't get distracted easily like a…" Archer's head then snapped to the side as a small *tweet* emanated from a phone before he suddenly shouted, "Bird! Bird! Bird!" He then stopped for a second before looking back at Rider, who just raised an eyebrow at him. "Just get the damn darts…"

"GAH! Saber, stop biting me damn it! It hurts!" Avenger wailed out while Saber kept biting his head, not letting go as he kept trying to dislodge her.

"You foul villain! How dare you woo these fair maidens and yet ignore madam Illyasviel?" Berserker's thoughts rang out as he hugged Illyasviel, who glared at Shirou who was reclining against the couch with Sakura hugging him, his right arm spooning Luvia, and a blushing Rin sitting on his lap.

"It's because…" Shirou muttered as he gazed upon Berserker and Illyasviel, his eyes shining with absolute conviction. "…I am the king…"

"Damn it! That's everything I have!" Waver cried out while banging his fist against the table, Souichirou collecting his chips and Maiya cashing in hers. Caster was sleeping on the table, drool coming out of her mouth as she did.

"Recording complete." Lancer declared as she stealthily went out of the bathroom before looking at Sola-Ui with a blank expression on her face. "Pilot Ikari is currently awake while Fujimura is recovering. You may proceed to join in their coupling if you wish. I wish to… review… my research." She then walked away, ignoring the beaming Sola-Ui who quite literally skipped into the bathroom.

"Hmph! That's what you get Black*Star!" Tsubaki huffed out as she dragged Assassin's bloody form from behind her out of the bathroom doors. "You should know better than to grab a woman there…" Tsubaki then blushed before she muttered, 'Even if it did feel good…"

Yup, just a regular night in Fuyuki City…

Omake- Seihai-Kun!

"WWAAAAHHH!" Illyasviel yelled as she ran into Seihai-kun's room and cried at its feet. "SEIHAI-KUN!"

"What's wrong Illya-chan?" Seihai-kun asked as its purple-colored corrupted contents poured out of its 'mouth'.

"Onii-chan and the other Masters are taking up my screen time!" Illyasviel cried out while waving her arms around. "There are entire chapter dedicated solely to Onii-chan and his girls while I only get a section dedicated to me in some chapters! It's not fair! I'm the token loli of the Fate series!" Illyasviel then sobbed into her hands as Seihai-kun looked on.

"Mou, you're so pathetic Illya-chan…" Seihai-kun chided before dropping a kitchen knife onto the floor.

Screen Time Extender Kit!

"….huh?" Illyasviel asked in confusion as Seihai-kun leaned down towards her.

"Just kill the other Masters for more screen time." Seihai-kun whispered to Illyasviel, who just continued to look at the knife in shock.

End Omake.

Omake- Would the Real King Please Stand Up? (Courtesy of Kiiam)

"It's because…" Shirou muttered as he gazed upon Berserker and Illyasviel, his eyes shining with absolute conviction. "…I am the king…"

"MONGREL!"

The music scratched to a halt as a haughty, arrogant voice cut through the bar. Every Servant and Master turned as one to stare at the person who stood at the entrance of the bar. His golden hair stood up and his body was covered in shining golden armor, blood red eyes homing in on the boy who aspired to be a hero of justice as he sat on the couch, not budging under the intensity of the man's gaze nor taking his hands off the ladies that were pressing themselves against him.

"Oh hey! It's the guy I replaced!" Wade exclaimed in mild surprise. "Why is he here…?"

"As this is a Carnival Phantasm short, his sudden appearance need not be explained nor should it have to make sense. This fact couldn't be truer since this is an Omake." Kirei smiled, relaxing as he watched the events unfold in front of him.

"You dare to proclaim yourself the king when there is only one true bearer of the title?" Gilgamesh scoffed, looking at Shirou as if he were a bug about to be crushed underfoot. "Your tongue betrays you, and your foolishness warrants the highest of punishments. However, I might be willing to extend mercy to you if you get down on your knees and beg like the dog you are. Well, mongrel? Bow before the TRUE king!"

Most men would cower and tremble in the face of such an aura that the King of Heroes possessed. Not Shirou though. No, whatever Kirei had slipped into his drink had completely expelled and robbed him of the ability to feel fear, and having Sakura, Luvia and Rin hanging off of him like they were had capitalized his confidence and conviction to levels that might actually match the Gilgamesh's ego. So, pulling the corners of his lips up to smirk at the one who tried to challenge his place in the bar, Shirou responded to his adversary.

"I am the king."

Gilgamesh's eyes widened for a fraction of a second before his expression cooled and his lips curled to sneer at the boy who had the GALL to talk back to him.

"Disgusting dog… do you not know whom you speak to? Do you not realize your own peril by challenging me, the King of Heroes? You don't-"

"I AM the king!" Shirou repeated, making Gilgamesh's eye twitch at being interrupted. Normally at this point the king of Uruk would rended the boy's body to pieces with swords from his vault, but stopped as Shirou held up something in front of him. "This proves it!"

Clutched tightly in his hand, Shirou held up the chopstick like a beacon, it's marked tip visible for all to see.

Shirou frowned when the King of Heroes gave a derisive chuckle.

"Ha… you think that is proof of your kingship? You amuse me, mongrel. Besides, just like you, that is a fake. Let me show you the original…"

Gilgamesh held up one golden gauntlet as the air above it shimmered. A golden light rippled through the air before a thin, gold stick with a marked tip appeared in Gilgamesh's hand. He smirked and held it up for Shirou to see.

"THIS is the ORIGINAL chopstick used in the FIRST King's Game!" Gilgamesh declared. "Yours is a poor mimicry of the original. You are no king, boy!

But Shirou was not deterred. He removed Rin from his lap and gently pried away from Sakura and Luvia, standing tall as he continued to hold the king's chopstick up high. Gilgamesh growled at the boy's confident smile.

"Heh. Maybe in your time… but right now, in this bar, even if this is an imitation… this is MY King's Game, so your original chopstick means nothing! Even this copy means I'm king! Why else would the girl's obey me? Why else would I be able to give the orders I give?"

"Mongrel…"

"But you may challenge me, King of Heroes. You can try to take this chopstick from me, but I won't let you. For I am the king, and the King's orders are… ABSOLUTE!"

"You…"

"TRACE… ON!" And suddenly, hundreds of chopsticks appeared in the air around them, cascading and falling around them like rain. Shirou reared back and tossed the King's chopstick into the hail, and it disappeared into the rain.

"Can you find it? Can you prove me wrong? No! Even if it is a copy, it's enough in THIS bar. It enough to prove I'm king…!

"Bastard…!"

"TELL ME, KING OF HEROES, DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH CHOPSTICKS?!"

"Ha! KNOW YOUR PLACE, MONGREL!"

"Aaaaaand that's enough of that." Kirei said as Wade wiped away the screen like he was cleaning a chalkboard.

"And this is what happens when TIM let's someone else write an Omake." Wade sighed as he wiped off his hands. "Nothing more than a parody of meme."

"Well, humor is not where Kiiam shines most. He should leave it to professionals." Kirei said sagely, before tapping his chin in thought. "Now… how to end this…"

"Mongrels! You dare keep the readers from bearing witness to my humbling of that faker!?" Gilgamesh complained as he appeared from the side of the screen.

"Ah, I suppose this might do..."

"'Appeared from the side of the screen'? All this is just text. How does that even make sense?" Wade frowned in confusion.

He and Kirei glanced at each other before nodding and speaking in unison.

"Omake."

"STOP IGNORING ME!" Gilgamesh shouted. He grabbed the front of Kirei's priest's robes pulled him forward to glare at him, pointing at Wade as he did so. "And THIS is my fill in? This is whom you've been hanging out with instead of me? Is the one true King so easily replaced?! I thought what we had was SPECIAL!"

"You're just jealous because he has way more fun hanging out with me than he ever did with you." Wade grinned. "By the way, as she is the object of your fanboy obsessions, what did you think of my trolling of Artie in Zero Sense, Goldie? Did Wade do good?"

"QUIET, DOG! I WILL SLAP YOU WITH EA!"

"Well, I think it's time to close the curtain. It's dragged on long enough." Kirei chuckled as he pulled a lever. Slowly, a red curtain began to descend above them. "Farewell, dear readers, and be sure to review and whatnot. And may Bea Arthur be with you."

"What about my fight?!" Gilgamesh demanded.

"Maybe some other time." Wade grinned. "I'm sure it won't take another month or two for TIM to update this one again."

Wade and Kirei both paused before bursting out into laughter as the curtain finally descended, muting Gil's complaints as the Omake ended.

End Omake.

Note- Yo! TIM here with another chapter of the Carnival, hot off the presses and betaed by none other that Kiiam, the author of Want and Need! He's helped me a lot with this little part of the carnival, especially with the Omake. Thanks dude!

And yes, before you ask I was inspired by the King's Game scene from Persona 4: The Animation. Which will also explain why Kirei and Wade chose Persona 3 OSTs as the soundtrack for this chapter. Great anime and I highly recommend that you watch it and play the game. Drunk!Yu also inspired Drunk!Shirou, but as you can see, I have… changed things.

Now then, remember to check my profile for my challenges and challenge takers. If you are interested in a challenge, PM me for me to know.

Also, remember to check out Fate:Zero Sense's TV Tropes page and add on whatever you deem appropriate to be on it.

And review! Reviews fuel my muse, so the more reviews the better.

See you, Space Cowboys!