Leonard frowned as he re-read the two text messages he had just received, not entirely sure he understood it correctly. But reading it the second time it was clear: Penny was asking him to accompany her while she searched for a gift for Andy's upcoming birthday. Not asking him to help her decide via text or phone. No, she meant actually physically being together.
Leonard replied and, putting his phone down again, couldn't help the smile from forming at the prospect of spending any amount of time with her, then frowned when he realized he had developed a crush on her. Suddenly he wasn't sure his agreement to accompany her was such a good idea. He knew himself well enough to know he was bound to screw things up. Actually, it was a miracle he hadn't done that two days ago when she and Andy had been in the lab.
He had been trying to impress her, he now admitted to himself. Not her son, but her. Going on about the holographic principle definitely had nothing to do with him trying to educate Andy, who in all likelihood had already known about the principle anyway, but everything to do with impressing a beautiful woman.
He didn't quite understand why he'd thought that would be a good idea, or that he even remotely had a chance with someone like her; she was miles out of his league. But he couldn't deny he was attracted to her and not just to the way she looked, even though she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. But he was a fool to even think they would ever be in a relationship. Maybe if they'd be living in the same building, starting out as casual friends, maybe in that situation he'd might have a chance.
He shook his head, suddenly realizing he was starting to overthink things. No matter which what-if scenario he tried to play out in his mind, it was unlikely any of those scenarios would ever become reality. He exhaled loudly before refocusing on his work.
"That's why I enrolled Andy into those self defense classes," Penny continued her story after taking another sip from her coffee. "It only took a couple of months before he became more confident and stood up for himself. They mostly left him alone after that."
Leonard was impressed, suddenly wishing he had been enrolled into self defense classes when he had been young. "He bested them after only a few months of training?"
Penny chuckled. "Oh, no, he still got beaten the crap out of him. But the fact he had stood up for himself, and he did land a few good hits on those bullies, was apparently enough to make them leave him alone most of the time." She shrugged. "A year later a new bully appeared, but by that time Andy did know how to take care of himself. He wasn't even hurt!"
Leonard grinned at the obvious pride in her voice, not that he could blame her. "I bet that cemented it and nobody dared to bother him after that."
Penny nodded. "Exactly. He became more popular that year as well, so that helped deter any potential new bully." Suddenly her hand was on top of his, surprising Leonard. "You were not that lucky, were you?"
He looked down at his lap, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "Ah, no. I mean, I wasn't as smart as Andy, so the difference wasn't even that big, but I still was the typical nerd." He was surprised when he felt her hand squeeze his a little.
"I'm so sorry, Leonard."
He looked back up again in surprise. "You don't have to be sorry. We didn't even know each other."
Penny shrugged, appearing embarrassed herself as she looked down at her own lap. "No, but I was bullying in high school." She looked back up, straight into his eyes. "The worst part is that I only did it so I could be part of the 'cool' crowd."
Seeing her on the verge of crying, he placed his other hand on top of hers. "Penny, it's okay."
Penny shook her head in denial. "No, it's not! I saw what it did to Andy, his daily fear to even go out of the house because of the kids in the neighbourhood, the crying when he got back home..." She sighed again, her voice going down to just above a whisper. "I did that to someone. For a couple of years. And if I didn't do something on a particular day, I know someone else did. I shouldn't have given shit about the so called cool crowd." The last sentence came out in a more regular voice. "I should've been a friend to her." By that time, tears were rolling down her cheeks.
"You could be her friend now," Leonard offered.
Penny shook her head. "I can't. She committed suicide just before she would have graduated. And I'm to blame, at least partly."
"You can't think like that," he said. "There's a good chance it would have happened, even if you had been her friend."
"But then she would have had someone to talk to about this, to support her. Maybe I could've talked her out of it."
Leonard shook his head slightly. "What could you have said? If she was being bullied every day, what could you say to convince her to keep enduring that?"
Penny was quiet for a bit, trying to find something. "I could've told her it would get better as she got older?"
Leonard shook his head. "Wouldn't have helped. She'd still have to deal with it for a number of years. Besides, she would soon realize it doesn't get better, not really."
"It doesn't?"
Leonard looked down embarrassed, but looked back up when her second hand came up on top his, squeezing his lightly. He suddenly realized their hands were all joined, one on top of the other, in the middle of the small table they were sitting at. "Well, it's not as bad as high school, as long as I'm around my colleagues and friends. But in general, I don't like venturing out, especially when I know there will be large bulky guys."
"Oh, Leonard." Penny's hand squeezed his once more.
"You guys need a refill."
Leonard looked up and shook his head. "Not for me, thanks."
"No, thanks," Penny added, retracting her top hand to finish her cup.
Their special moment being broken, Leonard reluctantly retracted his hand. Though maybe it was for the best, he then thought. He was after all only kidding himself to even think she might fall in love with him.
"Holy crap on a cracker," Penny said out loud when she was alone in her car. They had just kissed; briefly, but on the lips. She hadn't intended it to be on the lips, just on the cheek, but at the last moment she'd moved to softly press her lips against his. And even though it had been brief and no tongues were involved, the kiss had been incredible, invoking feelings in her she hadn't had in a long time.
Sure, she had dates a couple of times since Andy's birth, but it never worked out, her number one priority always being her young son. Most of the guys she had dated hadn't wanted the responsibility of someone else's son, though they clearly had wanted the fun part. After a while she'd decided it just wasn't worth it and had stopped dating.
Never in a million years had she expected that a short bespectacled physicist would get her juices flowing again. Her subconscious must have known, rerouting her lips away from the cheek she had targeted to make it clear to her. And boy, had it made it clear. It had taken all her willpower to not deepen the kiss or invite him to her house, a thought that had definitely popped in her mind the moment their lips touched.
But she knew she shouldn't just jump in without checking the water level. It wasn't just how it would affect her that she had to consider; she also needed to consider how it would affect Andy. The fact that he'd be going to college soon, didn't imply it wouldn't affect him. Of course it was a bonus he already liked Leonard, but how would he feel if his own mother would begin a relationship with his idol?
Another thing she had to consider: how did Leonard feel about all this? What did he expect to happen? Would he just sleep with her and count it as another conquest? No, she immediately answered her own question. He didn't seem the kind that would just say "wham-bam, thank you ma'am." He probably didn't even believe he had a shot at being with her. Most likely, she could be hitting on him and he wouldn't even realize that that was going on.
She shook her head to clear it, finally realizing she had been sitting in her car for a while now, without even so much as turning the ignition. She giggled, suddenly feeling like a schoolgirl having her first crush, before starting her car and fastening her seat belt.
"Huh?" Penny's eyes refocused, looking at her son who stood in front of her with a raised eyebrow and small grin. "Oh, hi, sweetie."
"You were totally zoned out," Andy answered, his grin widening. "I've been trying to get your attention for a while now."
Penny smiled. "Sorry, sweetie. Didn't mean to scare you like that."
Andy shook his head. "It didn't scare me. You were smiling, so I knew it wasn't anything bad."
Definitely not bad, Penny silently agreed, her thoughts having been filled with a certain physicist. "Right. Did you ask me something?"
"No, just trying to let you know I was home and that I was going to play some videogames."
Penny nodded. It was pointless to ask him if he did his homework; either he'd done it, or he'd do it later. And even if he didn't, it certainly didn't affect his grades in the slightest. She knew high school was just too easy for him and he wasn't learning anything being there or doing homework. "Okay, sweetie. I'll start making dinner in an hour or so." She stuck out her tongue when he pulled a face. "Fine, I'll start calling in an order at that Asian place you like so much, Siam Palace."
Andy rolled his eyes at her. "That's Thai, mom. But yeah, that would be great."
Penny waved her hand. "Chinese, Korean, Thai, whatever. It's still Asian." She hid her grin, knowing full well it was Thai food, but somehow it gave her a kick to have Andy react like that. "You'll have your usual?"
Andy nodded. "Yes, please."
"Okay, you go play your game, and I'll order the stuff and pick it up in an hour." Penny frowned when he nodded again, but didn't move away. He looked like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure he should. "Sweetie, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? Because I can see you're struggling with deciding to tell me something."
Andy sighed and then sat down next to her. "It's more like a question." He went silent, and Penny decided to wait for him to feel ready. "You know when I go to college, I'm not going to be here a lot of the time," he finally said, half a statement, half a question.
Penny nodded, suppressing the sadness that washed over her. "I know, and I'm proud of my most favorite guy going to be learning all these high techy-techy things."
He smiled at her briefly. "It's just..." He sighed. "I know you haven't dated anyone in a long time, partly because none of the guys you did date wanted the responsibility. But I don't want you to feel lonely when I'm gone, you know?"
Penny blinked several times to keep the tears from falling and pulled him in for a hug. "I know, sweetie." She bit her lip briefly. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you later. About me possibly dating... someone."
"Mom, you don't need my permission."
Penny released him and shook her head. "I know. It's just that I'm not sure how you'd feel about it. You're the most important person in my life."
"I'm okay with sharing the position with the mystery man you've apparently met."
Penny chuckled. "Trust me, he's never going to be more important than you." She shook her head. "Anyway, I'm not even sure if he likes me that way."
Leonard opened up Facebook only to be confronted by a friend request from Penny, causing him to frown. There probably wasn't any harm in accepting it, except that he had decided on the way home from the mall he had to minimize contact with her. It was too hard on him to pretend just being friends when he definitely wanted more and knowing she just didn't feel the same.
He smiled softly as memories of their goodbye kiss entered his thoughts. Even though it had been very brief, it had been on the lips. Initiated by her. He wasn't entirely sure what the meaning behind that kiss had been, but it definitely had had an effect on him. He wasn't even sure if she had intended to kiss him on the lips like that, especially since she hadn't made any attempt to deepen it and had ended it pretty quickly after it had started.
He exhaled loudly, then clicked on the accept button. He had been overthinking things again, and it got him nowhere. There was no harm in accepting the friend request; if it would get too much for him, he could always change the settings so her posts wouldn't show up in his feed.
He started to smile as he looked at the many photo's of her, either with or without her son. There were also several with her parents and even her siblings. It wasn't until maybe ten minutes later that he realized there wasn't a single one with a boyfriend in recent years. The last ones seem to have been at least six years ago, and Penny hadn't looked very happy.
He knew she wasn't married or living with anyone, but he had assumed that she was at least dating someone, but now it seemed she wasn't. He suddenly chuckled and shook his head; the new information had him entertain the thought they might actually become a couple, until he realized it was highly unlikely she'd be interested in someone like him.
"Hey, you!"
Leonard turned around at the familiar voice, slightly surprised to see Penny standing there, smiling brightly at him. "Hi," he said, immediately chastising himself for sounding so happy to see her, even though he was very happy.
"Didn't expect to see you again," Penny said, still smiling, linking her arm with his, placing herself against him.
Leonard's confusion, like his heart rate, increased. It probably didn't mean anything to her, just a form of affection for a friend, but to Leonard's mind, already having had thoughts of her for the last couple of hours, it had a definite meaning.
"You come here often," Penny asked, either oblivious to what the simple gesture was doing to him, or simply trying to get him to talk.
"Uh, yeah. Every week on this day." A second later he frowned, when he realized how that sounded. "I mean, my roommate has this schedule of when we should eat what food." He shrugged and grinned. "He's kinda weird that way." He glanced ahead briefly, noticing there were still three people ahead of them. "And you?"
Penny giggled. "Not as often as Andy would like." She grinned up at him. "I'm not a very good cook, so me getting take-out is quite a regular thing. But we don't have a schedule set. So, does your roommate always order the exact same dish?"
Leonard nodded. "Yeah, it's a very rare thing to deviate from his schedule, though he sometimes does." He chuckled. "You want to hear something funny? Sheldon's not even here this week. Apparently I'm so accustomed to the schedule, I seem to stick to it even when he's not around." He chuckled when she laughed briefly. He found it adorable to see her briefly bite her lip.
"If you want you could join Andy and I?"
Leonard frowned slightly, not expecting this at all. "Oh, no, I don't want to intrude..."
"Oh, hush. I'm inviting you, so you're not intruding. Plus, Andy will be ecstatic to have you around."
Leonard knew he was being weak; he was supposed to minimize hanging out with Penny, for his own sanity, but instead he answered, "I guess it's better than eating alone. Okay, I'll join you for dinner."
