It's worse than the abandoned funhouse Melissa thought of the decor surrounding her, flashing, clashing neon wherever she looked. She drummed her fingers on the table watching Shaggy and Scooby order everything available on the menu, still wondering why they were at this particular show, surrounded by families and teenagers with nothing better to do than blow their paychecks to impress their dates.
"Why did you want to meet-" Daphne looked around, nose wrinkling, "Here, Freddie?"
"Yeah?" Velma chimed, "What's the connection?"
"Rufus's former assistant works here," Fred shrugged, "After the show we can ask what she thinks-"
"About him faking his death?" Thorn caught on.
"Yeah," Fred nodded, "So did you girls find anything?"
Daphne proudly held up her overflowing shopping bags alongside the hex girls while Velma showed off her bright orange, exactly the same, sweater.
"Like, did you get anything, Melissa?"
"Oh, yeah," Melissa heaved a very, large, very heavy book onto the table.
"That-that is a big book, are you like, sure you're going to be able to finish it?" Shaggy eyed the Hex Girl book skeptically, the stylized lettering declaring it the complete history and untold rise to fame.
"It's mostly pictures," Thorn chuckled.
"With very quick chapters," added Luna.
"We had to approve everything," Finished Dusk, "And we signed it for her"
"They did," Melissa nodded vigorously as the lights went down.
"There she is," Fred pointed to the stage, "Validia, Vlanders"
The woman on stage had striking red hair styled in waves and large, cold dark eyes, her costume crisply pressed. Unfazed by the large spotlight she stepped up to the mic.
"Please welcome the comedy and magical stylings of Mister Wackypants," she sounded bored out of her mind, stepping back with a short clap, "Whoo"
A large absurdly dressed man stepped onto the stage laughing. The clashing stripes of his suit jacket and the polka dots of his pants made Melissa's eyes hurt. The Joker has better color-ordination than this guy, she thought as the food arrived at the table, I'd rather be at Hell's Kitchen but chicken tenders are always fun,
"Ladies and Gentlemen and you know what you are," the man began, stroking his horribly dyed mustache, "I learned everything I know about magic from my ex-wife, she made my bank account, my house and my car disappear"
Crickets.
"Ahem, now I'll need to volunteers"
Shaggy and Scooby were snatched from their table before they could even blink.
"But, we like, haven't had a bite all day," Shaggy protested.
"That's a lie," Melissa whispered, "He ate the hash browns off my breakfast platter"
"Are you still mad about that?"
"I'm not mad, I'm upset that I missed out on perfectly crispy hash browns, Daphne," Melissa clarified, dunking a tender into ranch, "Like I could ever be mad at Shaggy"
Up on stage the false teeth gag hadn't gone over well. Now, Mister Wackpants was pushing a reluctant Shaggy and Scooby toward a human puzzle box.
"Oh, Good, I love this trick"
It failed.
The entire show failed, Validia having to come to Wackypant's rescue at every turn. Melissa was beyond thankful when the lights came up, the other patrons quickly fleeing, desperate to alleviate the pain they had just been put through.
"Well that was-" Thorn struggled for words.
"Soul crushing?" Melissa bluntly offered, gulping down the last of her Dr. Pepper.
"Agonizing," Luna added with an eye roll.
"Torture," Dusk agreed.
"Like, speak for yourselves," Shaggy grumped, still trying to get the crick out of his neck.
"Reah"
"Psst," Melissa passed the sore Great Dane a Scooby snack under the table.
"What about me?" Shaggy wanted to know.
Melissa passed him a snack, "Don't ask how I got em, just enjoy it,"
"You like, stole them out of Daphne's purse when she like, wasn't looking"
"Maybe"
Finally, when the last people had left the room the gang and the hex girls headed to the backstage area. Validia opened the door to her dressing room with a confused expression, "Can I help you?"
"Miss Vlanders," Fred put on his best professional smile, "We're investigating the ghost that's haunting the resort we wanted to ask you some questions-"
"One question," Daphne amended, "May we come in?"
Valida stepped aside, heading back to her vanity table to reapply her makeup, "If you're here to ask how we did any of the tricks-"
"Oh, it's not that, do you think Rufus vould have faked his death?" Velma cut right to the chase.
"Faked his death?" Validia repeated, "No, Rufus couldn't walk away from the spotlight, he loved magic too much," she stood moving to the chest beside the vanity, "Here," she handed Velma a DVD, "Rufus isn't coming back, this will convince you it's the footage from his last stunt, good luck with your investigation"
...
Crowded around Velma's laptop in the center of the Hex Girls lavish suite they watched and re-watched the footage.
"There's no way he made it out of there," Fred declared watching the rubble bury the man.
"Can you play that last part again, Velma?" Thorn requested.
"What's that?" Shaggy pointed to the shaky line around the rubble.
"It's a line around computer generated effects"
"Basic effects," Melissa added.
"So maybe that's not real concrete falling down on Rufus?" Daphne pondered.
"If it's layered over the original image I should be able to strip it away-Hey it is a digital image!"
Onscreen it was now easy to see that Rufus easily undid the cuffs holding him to the wheel of misfortune before opening a hidden trap door and disappearing through it without so much as a sound.
"This must have been prerecorded before the building actually came down"
"And, they spliced it into the broadcast to make it look like it was happening live"
"Hey," Fred recalled, "Remember how Scooby chased that cat and it just vanished under the statue? Maybe that's where the trap door is"
"I don't like this," Shaggy declared.
"C'mon you big chicken," Melissa shoved him out the door.
"Can't I like, stay here with the snack table?"
"No"
"Please?"
"No"
Shaggy trembled.
