XXVIII. Love Is a Funny Thing


'Let me go. And I just can't look it's killing me and taking control.' —The Killers, 'Mr. Brightside'


There was a coolness in the room no one could deny, but the only three people waiting silently in this cool room chose to ignore it. Piers kept from tapping his foot on the carpeted ground of Lewis King's office, choosing to crack his knuckles from time to time. Sheva was on his left, silent with her hands clasped loosely in her lap as she stared out the windows aimlessly. Chris was on his right, leaning in his chair with his chin in hand, starring at his feet. Of the two, Piers felt a tension wafting from his right, almost a push of tension vibrating in his ears. The opposite of tension—not peace—but dullness lingered on his left. Sheva had no alertness or light on her face, she just looked tired and like she'd been thinking way too much. Not knowing what was wrong with these two, Piers chose not to involve himself. He trusted that Sheva didn't do anything that could hurt him, but this was something between her and Captain Redfield that he wasn't rather sure if he wanted to be a part of. But for her sake, he would listen when she was ready to talk about it.

The quietness remained as Piers chose to stand and walk around the office and look at the plenty photos of Director King's family. After the mission in Kansas and finding Sheva, Chris, and the two children in the tornado shelter, they had gone to safety in Topeka and rested there in hotel rooms that the BSAA rented out for Alpha Team. Zoe and Aaron were now on their way to their mother in Florida, sending them to their only surviving parent for their father had been a victim in the outbreak of their hometown. After a day of resting, Alpha was flown back to LA and the captain and two agents were now sitting in the office of the LA Director to have a quick meeting that King requested.

Shifting slightly when Piers stood to avoid eye contact with Sheva, not that she would look at him, Chris could feel were his hand rested on his pant pocket the small pendant, almost coin like, that Zoe had given him before she and him parted ways. After rescue, Zoe had clung to him like a leech. A loving leech to be more accurate. He was the one to tell her and her brother about their father. Aaron cried but kept his emotions in check as much as he could, almost reminding Chris of how he himself acted when he got news about his parents death. Zoe, just like Claire, cried and cried until her eyes were left dry. Chris did his best to comfort them. Aaron accepted the condolences but kept to himself, whereas Zoe stuck to Chris like glue. She never left him and he never left her, trying his best to comfort her as best he could from genuine kindness and experience of losing parents. It was as he had to say goodbye that Zoe cried the hardest. She gave him the tightest hug she could manage and gave him a pendant that she said she had gotten for her birthday. It was a circular brassy pendant with words of encouragement and strength. She made him promise he'd put it on a necklace or keep it with him somehow whenever he went on missions. He had full intention to keep that promise and he would cherish the little gift.

The walls seemed to change from beige to light blue in nanoseconds, Sheva's eyes playing games on her. She hadn't slept in two days and the insomnia was now catching up with her, her eyelids weighing pounds on her eyes. Despite having a nice hotel room in Topeka with a warm bed, her mind would not let her sleep and screamed for her to stay awake and think about her talk—scratch that—her shouting match with Chris in the tornado shelter. It was roaming in her head, whispering her mistakes to her with a vengeance. She wanted to sleep so bad, hoping it'd wash the memories away or at least numb them for some time. But alas, no sleep came and she was left awake to marinade over the fight.

Right now, she wanted to go home and fall asleep in her own bed with Fat Marvin cuddled up next to her. She wanted the security of empty rooms around her instead of having Piers in the left room and Chris in the right like it was in the hotel. She just wanted to be alone right now. Holding back a deep breath, Sheva moved her eyes from the windows and walls to look back at Lewis King walking into his office, his usual kind smile greeting the three of them. The coolness in the room didn't seem to faze him as he went to sit in his chair and began saying his congrats.

"Well, everything went better than expected," Lewis stated. "After Wolf gave news that they hadn't found any survivors, I was sure there were none. But send in Alpha and we find two children. Very good job, you guys. And I knew you'd do well, Alomar. You and Redfield survived Kijuju. I knew this outbreak would be a walk in the park for you guys."

Chris finally made a sound to let out a short and low chortle. Walk in the park was stretching it, he thought. Lewis didn't seem to notice the captain's reaction as he went on.

"The children made it back to their mom half an hour ago and are completely safe," he told them, Chris's ears perking up at the mention of the kids. "She sends her gratitude to you all for getting her kids back safe to her." Lewis stood and held his hand out for Piers, giving him a firm handshake. "Good job to as well, Agent Nivans. It was brief but you led Alpha to find these two with great ease."

Sheva managed to smile at them as Chris rolled his eyes. Lewis gave Chris a handshake as well, praising him for his work, too. He grasped Sheva's shoulder and gave her a gentle grin, thanking her for everything. She nodded, accepting his accolade and walked to the door as Lewis led them all out. Chris let Sheva out first as Piers talked with Lewis happily. Once in the hallway, Sheva went straight to her office upstairs, hoping to grab her purse and be out of this building in minutes. Chris was slower, waiting to catch a different elevator to be saved from riding with Sheva in the claustrophobic box.

Upon closing her office door, Sheva finally let out the breath she'd been holding. Crying wasn't an option for she felt no need to do so. It was a stressful last few days, but crying wasn't the solution she needed. Combing her hair smooth with her fingers, she grabbed her bag and looked for pain reliever tablets. She popped a pill in her mouth and swallowed it dry, feeling it make its way down her throat at a crawl. As she rubbed her temples in hopes it'd soothe the building headache, she heard a knock at the door following someone enter.

"Hey," Piers greeted her, closing the door behind him and walking up to her. When close, he wrapped his arms around her body with her arms trapped. Leaning forward, he kissed her temple where she had been massaging the skin. He kept his lips there for a few seconds, letting the silence calm her. "Are you all right?" he asked softly after a moment. She nodded, leaning into him as his warmth comforted her. He took that as a sign to kiss her again but on her cheek. Bringing his hand to the side of her head, he turned her lips towards him and kissed her there. She responded slowly, obviously physically tired. "Do you want to talk about it?" he inquired after pulling away.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I think I need time before I talk about it."

"Does it have something to do with Captain Redfield?" She nodded. He released her but held onto her hand as he leaned on her desk and hooked a finger under chin to get her to look at him. It seemed that time and events were pushing him forward to his confession. He was nervous but he told himself over and over, now or never. "I'll listen when you're ready to talk about it, Sheva. And if you never want to talk about it, I understand. But can you promise me you won't let whatever he does change you or ruin your happiness?"

Sheva gave him an odd look. What a strange request, she thought. But as she thought about it more, she understood him and where he was coming from. Whenever something happened with Chris, whether it be bad or good, her mood seemed to change with how things would go with him. He controlled her mood and thoughts, and he had no idea. After thinking about it all, she wasn't sure it was a promise she could make. "I'll try, Piers. I'm just a sensitive person. I can't help it sometimes."

"I know you are, Shev," he tucked hair behind her ear. Bringing his hands to her hips, he brought her closer until she was pressed against him. "You always want to help people. And sometimes to a fault, like with Redfield." He closed his eyes and kept from gulping. Now or never. "But that's what I love about you. I love you, Sheva."

Suddenly freezing, she stiffened against him at his words. Her eyes bugged open as she searched the room without a target. Oh no, no. This can't be happening. Mouth dry and hands cramped stiff at her sides, she licked her lips and tried blinking a few times. She pulled back to look at him, planning on telling him how she felt. She felt scared that he said that, scared that he was going to be back taken from her now that he said it. Everyone she loved was always taken from her. It's like she had a curse and now Piers was on the list. Her lips parted to explain, but as his green eyes searched for a loving response on her face, words that were worse than she wanted to say came out without thought.

"Thank you," she said. The urge to slap her forehead became the biggest temptation.

He was hurt, but aside from the tiny burn in his body caused by the rejection, a part of him was expecting that. "You don't love me?" he muttered, bringing her to look at him.

Remorse filled her body as she looked him in the eye sheepishly. As the frown lines creased in his forehead, it was like a revelation hit her and she knew. No, she didn't love him. At least not a romantic love. "I don't know," she answered cowardly. "I'm so tired right now and it just seems really fast."

"It's been almost five months, Sheva. I thought that'd be long enough. I was going to wait for a better moment, but now just seemed like a good time. I, uh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, no. Piers, it's just, I…I don't love easily," she stated. "That sounds terrible. What I'm saying is I'm slow with all of that. I don't know how to explain." She didn't know how because it was a lie. She could fall in love as fast as the next person, but she needed to soften the blow she just made on him. "Look, Piers. I just don't feel it yet, okay? But I care for you very much and I like you a lot. Isn't that good enough?"

Looking to the ground, he nodded lazily. "Yeah, I guess so. Maybe I should have waited to say anything."

"Oh, Piers," she brought him to look at her this time. "I'm glad you told me." Another lie. "You never know, love is a funny thing. Maybe tomorrow I'll start crying my love for you and you might have fallen out of love with me. What I'm saying is that just because I don't feel it now, doesn't mean I never will. Okay?"

She sighed when he nodded, letting him give her a kiss on her lips. Whether she could love him or not, she wasn't sure. But she did indeed care and like him plenty. He was growing to be very important to her, but she just didn't love him. At least not the way he wanted her to love him. He stood, asking if she needed a ride back to her home, to which she accepted. He started walking out of her office as she followed, knowing she had put him a low mood. Maybe she could fake it and tell him she loved him? No, she couldn't do that to him. Plus, he'd probably be able to tell she was forcing it out. She wasn't exactly a good liar.

Finally feeling those dormant tears come back to her, she held them in and cursed herself for being so emotional. Piers deserved to be loved. She wondered if anyone did love him. His mother was sick, but maybe in her subconscious, she still loved him. He was an only child and his father had passed away over a year ago. Did Piers have anyone who loved him? As the elevator doors opened for them to enter, she grabbed onto his hand and stepped on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, hoping it'd help some. He gave the faintest smile and held her hand in his, sighing at the thought of rejection.

She didn't love him. Should it have hurt him so badly? Maybe it was too soon. They hadn't even slept together yet. Or was that the wrong way? He shook his head, looking at her beside him. He loved her and it occurred to him more and more everyday how much he loved her. As they walked to the parking lot, he knew that his love for her wasn't mistaken and that she could feel what he felt. He could get her to love him. And as they got into his truck, he decided he'd do everything he could to make Sheva love him.


After leaving Lewis King's office, Chris had somberly gone to his office with slow steps. Before he was about to open his office, the last person he expected to rush out of her own and stand in front of him was Jill. She touched his arm without thought and after he groaned from the soreness of the injury from the Licker, she pulled her hand away and quickly apologized.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were injured," she said quietly. "Are you okay? I heard you guys saved two children. They wouldn't tell me much. Is everything all right?"

Their romance may be dead, but some form of a relationship was there. She may not like to be touched but she still worried about him. And for a moment, his heart warmed. That was until he got the whiff of cologne on her skin that he could smell from where he stood. He knew his expression must have hardened at the unfamiliar scent on her. Unless Jill switched her Estee Lauder perfume for cologne, she must have been around someone with this citrus scented odor that Chris did not own. Nor would he. It was too offensive on his senses. He much preferred muskier scents, not something that could be described as "tangy." There was one person he thought might have liked a scent like that. Carlos Oliveira.

"I'm fine," he stated, looking to his arm. "A little bruised up but nothing that won't heal."

She went on to talk about something that he was able to tune out as he saw Sheva's office door open with Nivans walking out, a melancholy expression on the young man's face. Sheva followed after Piers, her face decorated with tiresome conflict. As she passed Chris, she didn't even seem to notice him. Her eyes did not meet his, her posture didn't seem to change even slightly at his presence. Jill still talked about something he couldn't hear as he watched the young duo walk into the elevator. His heart seemed to slow as he watched Sheva grab Piers' hand and kiss his cheek. He looked away when the two looked at one another, not at all aware Chris had seen that.

Suddenly he heard every word Jill spoke, every sound around him booming in his ears. His hands went clammy as his eyes couldn't focus on anything. He looked to Jill in front of him, the woman that he no longer could find comfort in. The feeling of falling was approaching him quickly as the feeling of weakness filled him. He needed to get out of here. He needed someone. He needed Claire.

"Everything's been okay here," Jill claimed. "But I heard the whole town got infected. Is that true?"

"Uh, yeah. It was the whole town. Jill, I gotta go. I'm tired," he hastily told her, his hand digging in his pocket for his keys.

"Oh, alright. Get some sleep. I'll see you tonight, I guess."

He turned, walking quickly to the stairs. He couldn't bear to be stuck in an elevator right now, especially the one Sheva and Piers were just in. "I don't know if I'll be home tonight. I-I might be at Claire's all night," he muttered her with all honesty. He just wanted his sister right now.

He didn't hear Jill's last words as he raced down the stairs, he hands shaking so much the keys jingled in his hand. Soon he was in his car, driving dangerously fast and zooming past everyone else. He was pretty sure he ran a red light, but he didn't care right now. As he drove in the neighborhood, he slowed his speed. As he obliviously drove in the neighborhood, he passed Sheva's home to see Piers' cobalt blue pickup truck in her driveway. His foot reflexively pressed harder on the gas pedal and sped past her home. His stomach twisted tighter at the sight, feeling his head split with a horrible headache.

Feeling like a lifetime to get there, he was finally parked in front of Claire's home to see his sister seeing her boyfriend, Leon, off. Leon was about to climb into his vehicle when they both looked to the eldest Redfield.

"He looks…" Leon trailed, not sure how he looked.

Claire, however, knew the look. She patted Leon's door and told him she loved him. He took that as a sign to get out of here so she could be alone with her brother. Chris wasn't a person Leon wanted to be around whenever all those emotions in the ape exploded, so for once he was thankful for a trip to DC to meet with the president.

As Leon drove off, Claire watched as Chris made his way to her. She held her hand out for him and he took it as she brought him inside the house. Sitting him down on the couch, Claire sat beside him and looked at him wholly. He was a wreck. His brows furrowed as he starred at the floor, his hands trying to stay clasped together as they shook.

"Chris? What's wrong?" she didn't bother with silly greetings or boring conversation. He didn't respond, but he began to scratch at his injured arm. "Stop that, you'll make it irritated. Now tell me what's wrong. Was it the mission?"

He broke a shaky hand from his clasp to rub his cheek. "Kinda," he whimpered, it coming out disjointed. When she asked if it was the zombies, he shook his head. He said no again when she asked if it was about the children he saved.

There was one more thing that could be related to his most recent mission and Claire was hoping that wouldn't be it. She was aware Sheva had filled in for an absent agent for Alpha and had gone on the mission with Chris. So as he said no to all her guesses, she knew it was the thing she was dreading. "Is it Sheva?"

He was silent, too scared to admit it was Sheva. When Claire asked again, she brought her hand to his hair and sat closer. "Yeah," he finally admitted, his body shaking uncomfortably.

"What happened?" she questioned, fearing all of this.

All the weakness in his body pulled him down as he pushed out the answer. "Piers," was all he could mutter, moving into Claire's embrace as she wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly.

"Oh, Chris," she whispered as she held him, letting him lay and rest his head on her lap. "You don't need to worry about that. I promise there's no threat."

"You haven't seen them together, Claire," he managed to articulate. "But that's not it. I…I fucked up, Claire."

Oh great, she told herself, this was all going to crap right in front of her. Why couldn't things just work out the way she planned them? Why couldn't her brother just be happy with the person that made him happy? Why was life so complicated?

"What did you do, Chris?" she carefully asked. "Did you punch Piers?"

That probably would have been better and would have helped him get frustration out, but unfortunately it wasn't to Piers Chris showed his anger towards. It was Sheva. "No, I haven't even gone near him. I said some…bad things to her."

"Oh God, you didn't tell her she was fat, did you? That's the last thing any girl wants to hear. I've told you this, Chris. Never tell a girl she's fat," she stated with a firm voice trying to lighten the mood. She didn't want to hear how her brother screwed up with her best friend. She's trying to make them realize they loved each other, dammit. Chris, however, was not amused by her joke. He turned on his back to look up at her, strands of red hair falling out of her ponytail.

"I told her she was a bad person. I said that she only cares about herself and no one else. I told her that all she ever does is hurt people." He closed his eyes when Claire's widened, her brow angling to confusion.

Well that was worse than she expected. But what was she expecting? "Did you mean what you said?" Already knowing he didn't mean them, it still baffled Claire how they could have gotten onto such bad conversations that made him even utter those insults. And knowing her brother to be someone who held his temper well since they were children, she was aware that something either Sheva or someone else said must have pushed him over the edge.

He kept his eyes closed, finding security in the darkness behind his lids. "I don't know… I feel that's all she does to me… All she does is hurt me and I couldn't take it anymore. She makes me open up to her and maybe for a second I feel… She makes me feel safe. But then she just uses my mistakes against me and hurts me all over again."

"Chris, look at me," she requested and so he did, his eyes revealed to be red and tired. "Did you start the fight this time?" He nodded shamefacedly. "I know she must have said something bad to make you say all that. But think about it. When someone says something mean to you, you want to say something just as mean and hurtful, right? You don't want someone to lay out your flaws and you say nothing. Chris, that's how Sheva reacted. And that's how you did, too. You said something hurtful to her, she retorted, and then you got her back. It's a cycle with you, too. From then in Africa to now."

"She's just pisses me off sometimes, Claire," he responded, trying to reason with her.

She sighed, tired of hearing about these two fight and push each other away. "And you piss her off, too. Believe me." He frowned at the comment. "This keeps happening because neither of you have tried to deal with what happened over two year ago. Sheva doesn't know how, so she tries to be your friend. You don't want to be friends, you want more. You want all or nothing from her."

"That's not true," he claimed, his eyes narrowing.

"Shush, I wasn't finished. It is true because you wanted her to come with you to America—"

"Claire, I don't want to talk about this," he stopped her immediately.

She pushed him to lie down back when he tried to get up. "Yeah, well I do. Now shut up and let me talk already. You wanted Sheva to come home with you. You didn't like the idea of having a distant relationship. You wanted the full thing. You wanted her here with you. When she kissed you on Christmas and she stopped it, you were angry not only because you were pushed away but because you wanted her and you only got a taste." She pushed him again when he tried escaping. "I'm not done, butt face. That whole New Year's fiasco crap is something I don't even want to think about, so we'll skip that. When Sheva has tried talking to you this last month to try to be friends, you didn't want that because you're bitter that that's what she wanted and you didn't. You want to be more than friends. And now with Piers, you're thinking that he has her and now you can't. That she'll forget about you and be happy with Piers and that she's moved on. You can't handle seeing her with someone else. You want her entirely so no one else can have her, you don't want anything to do with her, or you go nuts because she's building a relationship with someone else."

He didn't say anything as he stayed limp for some time. Finally, he looked at his sister with a pout. "Why'd you have to say all that? I came here because I thought you'd make me feel better and comfort me."

"I am comforting you, Christopher," she enforced as he cringed at the full use of his name. "We're figuring out your side of the problem. We're figuring it out so we can get you on a better path. As for Sheva, she's tough. I don't get her sometimes. She can be pretty damn selfish at times, but then selfless. But she's another mountain on another day for me. I'm here for you right now. Now you agree with me, don't you? You want all of her or nothing. And with Piers it's just really ruined everything around you, yeah?"

"I don't know, Claire. I don't want to talk about their relationship."

"Well you did a second ago! That's why you're here, isn't it? I'm being hard on you, Chris, because I need to pound it into your thick skull what I see but you can't. With Piers in the picture, he takes Sheva away from you. With Piers, she doesn't have time to try to talk to you even though you deny her. With Piers, she doesn't have time for you. She doesn't notice you. She doesn't show any affection. She doesn't love you." She stopped there, knowing that's what was going to finally break him down. He looked away, but when she repeated the last four words, he sat up and hid his face in his hands.

"She never even loved me in the first place, Claire. It doesn't make sense why I'm scared of that," he mumbled into his hands. He wasn't crying, but he wanted to. He wanted to feel the burn of tears and the pent up emotion to leave his body.

Hugging him from behind, Claire rested her chin on his shoulder and ran her fingers through his hair. "I know why, Chris. You're scared that no one loves you. You think Jill doesn't because she's moving on and you two only live together because you're both scared of being alone. And that is scary, Chris. That's a scary thing. And now that Jill loves someone else, Sheva seems to be moving on with Piers, and you're left all alone, you think no on loves you."

He sniffled; actually feeling something like crying. "I'm not an easy person to love, Claire."

Pulling his hands away, Claire brought a hand to his cheek. "Can you look at me, Chris? I promise I won't be mean." So he did, his brown eyes meeting her blue ones that reminded him so much of his mother's. "Chris, the hardest people to love are the ones that need it the most. And I love you very, very much. I love you more than anyone in the world. Even over Leon and mom and dad. And others love you, they just can't say the words. Rebecca loves you and her kids absolutely adore you. Jill loves you, but it's just not the same love you two had a long time ago. And Sheva loves you, too. She just doesn't realize it. A lot of people love you, Chris. I promise you'll never be alone, okay?"

What she hadn't seen in years moved her. There might not have full blown, trailing down his cheeks, kind of tears. But his eyes watered and she knew her words had gotten through that skull of his, and he finally heard them.

"I don't like this feeling," he murmured. "I feel like I'm going to collapse at any point."

"It's okay to cry, Chris. You can cry if you want to. I'm right here," she rubbed his back.

He didn't cry, but he was close. His walls had come down then, and whether or not they were coming back up, it was a moment to cherish. For now, he'd stay in his sister's arms, try to talk more about himself, and what was going on inside his head. She told him he would need to apologize to Sheva for saying all of that and when he did, she'd apologize too. It was a chain reaction, she told him. He just had to be the one to push the first domino.


Author's note: Shall we call it a revelation that Chris opened up? Granted it was his sister, but an accomplishment nonetheless. Sheva, on the other hand, has yet to really talk about it. And before it seems so, I'm not making Sheva out to be a saint in this story, I promise. Her flaws will be "evaluated" soon. I hope Claire made enough sense when she was talking to Chris and that line of his in here that he wasn't an easy person to love is total bull. He's lovable, he just feels otherwise.

TigerRaiken: Haha, totally. Chris will be pushing around a walker and still be a hottie. Hi! It's okay, I always feel the need to write long reviews even though I never really mean to. But I still appreciate them! I love Sheva/Chris, obviously, but I admit that I have a soft spot in my heart for Jill/Wesker. I like Jill with Carlos best, but Wesker is an evil hunk that it's hard not to. Right? Jill just kept her cool way too well when she was in Kijuju with Josh. The girl's gotta crack some time. Oh, yes. All of this is leading up to the events in RE6, so Edonia has to happen first. I don't the exact date, but Edonia did happen in December of 2012, so you're right about that. Haha, Chris needs a chill pill basically? Poor guy needs to get away and go to Hawaii or something. Thank you for reviewing!
toby7400: I supported Chris, too. I've written Sheva rather naïve, which wasn't intentional but that's how it went. Hey ho. Do you mean you don't want Sheva and Chris to get together because they don't want to be alone so they settle for each other? I don't want it go that way, so I'll avoid it. I don't want Jill and Chris's relationship to be repeated. Plus, Jill needs to hurry up and go for Carlos before he gets sick of waiting. :P
borismortys: Really? Thank you! I can see Chris taking a vacation with Barry, like they go fishing together or something. Barry can solve any problem, haha. Thanks. :)
wolfspiritqueen: Agreed! Sheva might have taken it a tad too far, but she'll learn. And this was like her's and Chris's major fight, so it had to go bad, haha. It is really bad when someone uses your past or mistakes against, especially when you really trusted that person.

In the next chapters, we'll be doing some time jumps. We'll see moments of Sheva and Chris. But I think it's time we check up on others like Carlos and Jill, and also see what's going on with Josh. Josh and his wife will come later, I want to work on the Carlos and Jill situation. But I think the toughest part will be Chris and Jill facing each other and finally coming to accept the romance is dead.

Some (major) things need to happen before Chris and Piers go to Edonia. I can't rush them too much because if I do, it just won't seem right and the wrong decision to add that all in, you know? But I promise Edonia and Chris's disappearance in RE6 will come. I like to think this story is the tortoise in the race while the hare is off taking a nap. Silly reference, but you catch the drift. Sorry for the long A/N!

-Sarai