CHAPTER 6: Breaking Point
As December turned into January and the days flew by, Astoria found it harder and harder to stay cheerful.
On one hand, she felt like she should have been happy, because Daphne and Valerian were home, and her sister had been following through on her promise to spend more time together for the past couple weeks.
But on the other hand, she was actually still feeling conflicted somehow about her argument with Daphne on Christmas Eve, guilty and upset about getting in trouble with their parents, and dreading the moment when her siblings would board the Hogwarts Express again and start another long school term.
And when that happened, would Daphne actually come through for her this time? She had seemed seriously committed to the idea, and her learning the Imperturbable Charm was a good sign... yet Astoria found it difficult to trust her in this matter. And that made her feel like the worst younger sister in the world.
The day before her siblings had to leave again, Astoria tried to See into the next few months, focusing very intently on if Daphne would stay in touch with her like she had promised. But as usual, it was completely blank—she had no way of foreseeing her own future.
She rubbed her temples, pouting from the sudden stabs of pain caused by stretching her Inner Eye so much. She had never been very good at knowing her own boundaries, especially when it came to her Maledictus. That was why her parents had established so many rules, and why Astoria followed Daphne's lead in just about everything. They all knew better than she did, her sister most of all.
Astoria buried her face in her hands. How could she doubt her trust in Daphne when she needed her so much? Could she allow the wisp of lingering hope in her heart to grow again, even though it could be crushed the next day? Could she even survive if that happened?
There was a familiar knock at her door, strong but with a jaunty rhythm. Daphne.
"Come in!" called Astoria, wiping a stray tear and trying to push her bad feelings down like she always did.
Her sister's friendly face poked around the doorway. "Good morning, Princess A!" she said, striding into the room. But then she gave Astoria that all-too-observant look. "Is something wrong?"
"No..." Were her eyes red? Her hair disheveled? How did her sister figure it out when she was trying so hard to seem normal? No one else could ever tell.
Daphne sat next to her on the bed. "Something is wrong," she said definitively. "Did you have a vision?"
That made Astoria's eyes well with tears. "No, and that's the problem!"
"What?" Daphne was visibly shocked, her manner turning even more serious. "What were you trying to See?"
"You," she admitted timidly, deciding to be honest, "and me. I wanted to know if you were going to keep your promises when you go back to Hogwarts tomorrow."
Daphne was silent for a long moment, and Astoria worried that she had said too much. But then her sister said, "Of course I am. I'm not going to get so overwhelmed again. Mum is teaching me Potions, and I'm going to do better this term—in everything, not just my classes. I'm going to spend more time with you."
Astoria sniffled, feeling calmer. "You really mean it, Daphne?"
"Yes, I do," she promised, her eyes blazing with determination and her jaw firmly set. Daphne really did mean it, with every part of herself. She meant it more than Astoria had ever seen from her. "I'm not going to abandon you ever again."
"Thank you," Astoria sobbed, flinging herself into her sister's arms and holding onto her with all of her strength. She felt vaguely guilty about getting Daphne's nightgown wet, but then her sister held her in an even tighter hug and her anxiety melted away. She was safe.
Daphne rubbed a soothing hand down her back and said, "I'm so sorry for last term, and I know that you're still hurting about it. But I'm trying to be better, and I'm going to keep trying. I'm never going to get that lost in my own head again."
Astoria was moved by her sister's honesty and how Daphne took responsibility for everything. She was still hurting, even with how hard she was trying to ignore it. But maybe... maybe she shouldn't do that anymore. Daphne deserved an honest sister, not someone who denied her true feelings. With a rush of compassion, Astoria realized that she owed Daphne an apology as well.
She pulled back from the hug and held both of Daphne's hands in her own. "I'm sorry too. I started feeling so sad all the time when you went to school, and it got better for a little while, but it's been bothering me again even though you're here. I didn't want to tell you because it would make you upset, and I didn't want to ruin our time together."
"You need to tell me these things!" Daphne said very firmly. "I want to know, even if it's something that would upset me. I want to be the best sister for you that I can be."
Astoria nodded to show that she understood. "I will tell you—I promise. And I want to be the best sister for you too, Daphne. You should tell me whenever something is bothering you too. Maybe I can even help you some time!" she finished with a teary attempt at a smile.
Daphne returned her smile and squeezed her hands. "You do help me, A. You're there for me when no one else is. I need you just as much as you need me."
The two girls exchanged another hug. They may not have known exactly what the future would hold, but at least they would have each other.
After a long moment, Daphne wiped away the last of Astoria's tears and said with a brave smile, "Now, what do you say about an old-fashioned game of princess in the tower?"
A few hours of creative play later, the sisters were sitting together in front of the fire, talking and laughing just like they always had. Things were finally normal between them again.
"—and then I said that her owl was a stupid, ugly pigeon!" Daphne said proudly. "Amber really deserved it too. She called Pumpkin annoying!"
Astoria gasped through her giggles. "Pumpkin is not annoying!"
Pumpkin, who was romping around on the floor with Whimsy, heard her name being called and trotted over with an inquisitive quack. Daphne reached down to pull the squirming kitten into her lap, and then began scratching behind her furry little ears.
"I know, right! Amber is worse than the other three girls in my House combined." Daphne rolled her eyes. "Well, maybe Pansy gets close. She thinks she's so much better than everyone, but you should see how she keeps trying to get Draco Malfoy to notice her! It's embarrassing."
"Why does she do that?" asked Astoria, her mental images of all these people being fleshed out with each detail Daphne told her about them.
"I honestly have no idea. Draco is the biggest jerk at Hogwarts! Always strutting around with his stupid white hair. And everyone treats him like the prince of Slytherin—probably because they're afraid of what he might say to them."
Astoria would never admit it to her sister, but she was secretly impressed by this information in some inexplicable way. "He does sound like a jerk," she said, fascinated.
"Oh, he is," Daphne insisted with a sage nod. "Maybe he doesn't like me because I'm the only one who isn't falling at his feet. Well, he's going to have another thing coming to him when we're back to school, that's for sure. I'm not going to take it anymore!"
"Yeah, you'll show him!" exclaimed Astoria, smiling at her. "No one can push my sister around and live to tell the tale."
Daphne grinned back at her and sat up straighter, seeming to draw strength from her words. "That's right. And same with the other Slytherins! They won't know what hit them."
Then Pumpkin quacked again, as if in agreement, and the two girls collapsed in another round of giggles.
"I have the best grades in the whole of Slytherin, Father!"
"But not in your entire year! To think that a filthy Mudblood is top of your class. It's a disgrace!" Lucius's voice cut through the air like a whip. His typical cold composure melted into hot rage as he advanced on Draco, seized his collar, and yanked him forward, until they were face-to-face. "This insult will not stand."
Then he unceremoniously dropped Draco and strode to the doorway where Narcissa stood, his cane held tightly in his gloved hand. Lucius paused before he left the room to look over at his son, with clear warning in his eyes.
"Draco," he said, his anger under careful control again, "you are better than that guttersnipe. Act like it. If your grades stay below hers like this, there will be consequences." With that, he was gone.
Rage. White hot burning RAGE filled Draco's mind, ripped through his body almost painfully.
And before he knew it, he was in pain.
A guttural, visceral shout came out of his throat, and then he realized that his fist was now embedded in the parlor wall. He just stood there, breathing deeply and staring at the dust on his sleeve and the cracked web of plaster around his hand.
There was a deep, sharp ache in his hand, so different from the fleeting sting he was used to. He must have broken a few fingers. He pulled his hand out of the wall and became aware of his mother quietly coming over to him.
She took out her wand and waved it in a light, easy movement. "Reparo," she whispered without looking at her son.
Draco watched the dust on his arm gather itself and re-form back into the wall. As the hole gradually disappeared, his anger returned to him, simmering low in the back of his mind. He didn't even notice how numb he had become until his mother fixed the damage he did.
She knelt in front of him and took his painful, swelling hand in hers, but he refused to let himself wince. "Oh, my darling boy. Look at this mess."
With a quick Episkey, his fingers were back to normal as well. Draco said nothing, his jaw clenching and unclenching itself.
Narcissa sighed. "You would do well to listen to him. Now, go on up to your room. Your father will be back in a while and we'll talk more then." She kissed his cheek, stood up with a delicate swish of her silk robes, and left without another word.
Draco growled and stormed out the door, making a beeline toward his broomstick. He was off into the air, tearing through the sky, before he could explode in uncontrollable rage again.
Thank Merlin that the holiday was over. Draco couldn't wait to get back on that damned train and get out of this place.
The cold winter air nipped at Daphne's cheeks as she hugged her little sister on the train platform. It wasn't like the hug they shared at the start of the school year. That one was desperate and sad; this one was tight, affirming, and still a little sad, but more hopeful.
Daphne buried her face in Astoria's soft curls and squeezed her closer. "Remember to keep your window open for Hyacinthus."
Astoria giggled a little bit and settled herself in Daphne's arms even more. "I will." Then she pulled back and smiled with hazy eyes at her sister. "I love you, Daphne."
"I love you too, Astoria." Daphne smiled and kissed her forehead softly. She squeezed Astoria's much smaller hands. "I'll see you later, okay? I'll talk to you in the mirror as soon as I get back to my dormitory."
Astoria beamed at her. "I'll see you then!"
"Daphne darling," their father said with a serious, but not unkind, face, "if that teacher gives you any more trouble, write to me immediately." He turned his attention to Valerian, who was standing awkwardly to the side staring off into the distance. Daphne followed his eye line and saw Francis hugging an older woman, assumedly his mother. "Valerian, please try to help your sister with her Potions work if you can."
Valerian snapped back into focus and visibly took a moment to collect himself. Daphne shared an amused, knowing look with Astoria. "R-right. Yes, of course, Papa. I will—er—do that," he said with a strained smile.
Evaristus looked unconvinced, but didn't press the issue. He sighed and ruffled Valerian's hair and then turned around and gave Daphne a quick hug and a kiss on the head, ignoring his son's spluttering. "You two had better get on the train before it runs out of seats. Come here, poppet," he beckoned Astoria over to him with soft eyes, "Your siblings have to go now."
"Bye! Good luck at school!" Astoria said brightly to her brother and sister, allowing their father to lead her away.
Daphne gave Astoria one last smile before taking up her trunk and Pumpkin's carrier and leaving for the train. She led the way with Valerian not far behind her, determination simmering inside her as she stepped up into the compartment. She leaned out the closest window and waved to her sister and father as a loud whistle sounded at the front of the train.
Astoria waved back and Daphne was struck again with the memory of the train ride at the beginning of the school year, how fraught and miserable that was in comparison to this.
Hope bloomed even bigger inside her as the train lurched forward through the station and took her away from her sister again. She wasn't scared this time—she had a plan and Potions lessons and knew what was coming.
Everything was going to be okay. It had to be. She would make it okay.
Valerian managed to find them an empty compartment instead of sitting with his friends this time. He claimed that he wanted to focus more on Daphne and not leave her alone again, but she figured it was just because he wanted to play Wizard's Chess for the whole train ride.
They were on their fifth game (the score was Daphne 2, Valerian 2) when the compartment door opened rather loudly, and, lo and behold, Draco Biggest-Jerk-In-The-World Malfoy was standing there with his goons.
His eyes roved over the whole compartment, no doubt taking in Valerian's general uselessness, Pumpkin's startled face, and the in-progress chess match. He smirked when he recognized Daphne and stepped into the cabin to loom over her.
"Greengrass! I see you decided to come back after all." He glanced over again at Valerian with an arrogant tilt of his pointed chin. "How funny, I didn't know you had any friends."
Valerian's face turned beet red and he sputtered out, "W-well, see here! I'm her older brother, and you can't talk to her l-like that." He looked mortified at the situation, which Daphne understood. Draco was a special kind of awful.
"I stand corrected." Draco crossed his arms lazily. "So you really don't have any friends, then."
Valerian looked like he was going to "defend" her again, so Daphne punched him in the shoulder and said, "Sit down, you idiot. Let me handle this."
Draco raised a single eyebrow, and Daphne turned back to him with all of her determination. She was not going to get pushed around by these people anymore.
"It's rude to interrupt private conversations, Malfoy," she told him. "Maybe your parents should get you some etiquette lessons."
Real anger flashed in Draco's cold gray eyes for just a moment, and Daphne realized with some surprise that she had actually gotten under his skin.
Then he snorted and sneered at her, "At least I can read. Although, I suppose someone has to have the worst grades in Potions. You're probably even worse than Potter."
He laughed to himself and made a gesture to Crabbe and Goyle. They stepped aside to let him exit the train compartment, and then all three were gone, leaving the door open behind them.
Daphne made a disgusted noise and got up to close the door.
"That boy is in your class?" asked Valerian, looking much more shaken and mortified than Daphne herself felt.
She rolled her eyes, already over it. "Unfortunately. But who cares about him?" Returning to their game of Wizard's Chess, Daphne told one final piece which square to move to and then grinned triumphantly at her brother. "Checkmate."
When they reached the Slytherin common room, Daphne bid goodbye to Valerian and set off down the spiraling hallway to her dormitory. Pumpkin yowled and complained in her carrier as Daphne made her way, dodging groups of giggling girls.
As she finally reached her room, the door was closed and she heard the muffled laughter and chatter of her classmates. Anxiety bubbled in her, but she squashed it down and set her jaw. If she could tell off Draco Malfoy, these silly girls were nothing.
Daphne came face to face with her roommates as soon as she opened her door. She was the last one to arrive, it seemed. Ignoring them, she hefted up Pumpkin's carrier and marched to her bed.
Pansy scoffed, "Ugh, you're back?" Amber and Tracy snickered meanly, while Millicent pretended to not be paying attention.
"Of course I'm back," Daphne responded while letting Pumpkin out onto her bed. The cat ran over and up onto the wooden headboard, perching at the top with wild eyes.
"Well," said Amber in her vapid, nasally voice, "I was sure you wouldn't be asked back, since you're stupid and can't read and all."
Something just snapped in Daphne's mind.
She rounded on Amber with a thunderous expression and simply shouted, "Shut the fuck up! I didn't ask for your opinion!"
The silence was deafening.
Amber's eyes were as wide as dinner plates and the others weren't much better. Tracy's hand hovered over her ears as if that would prevent her from hearing such coarse language, Pansy's mouth was slightly agape, and Millicent looked mildly impressed.
That's all Daphne wanted. She snatched up her toiletry bag and nightgown and stormed into the bathroom to get ready for bed as quickly as possible.
When she came back, the other three girls were whispering, still shocked and wide-eyed. Daphne idly wondered if it was because she cussed, yelled, or defended herself that they were having such a stupid reaction. She decided it was all of the above.
Daphne hopped onto her bed and meticulously closed all of her curtains, boxing herself in and keeping her mean, nosy roommates out. With a careful wave and muttered spell, she casted the Imperturbable Charm and reached for her mirror.
She had a sister to talk to.
Astoria was curled up in the family library with Whimsy on her lap, a book in her hands, and her two-way mirror open on the table next to her. She found herself rereading the same paragraph over and over, her anxiety spiking uncomfortably. It was getting late. Was Daphne going to forget about her again?
She needed to calm down. "What do you think, Whimsy?" she asked her kitten, petting her downy white fur. Astoria took a deep breath and let it out, reminding herself that she could trust Daphne—her sister had meant it when she promised not to abandon her.
Whimsy meowed and nuzzled her book, which surprised Astoria enough to draw out a fit of slightly hysterical giggles. But then her kitten began climbing onto the pages, so she carefully pried the book away and leaned over to put it on the table.
At the exact moment her eyes glanced over the open compact mirror, her own reflection was replaced with that of her grinning sister.
"Daphne!" Astoria gasped, picking up the mirror and settling it comfortably in front of herself. "You remembered me!"
Daphne's grin widened. "Of course I did! How has your night been?"
"Okay, I guess. I was just doing some reading." Her kitten, still perched in her lap, gave a little mewl and sniffed at the mirror. "Whimsy says hi!"
"Hi, Whimsy!" said Daphne with a wave. "Anyway, A, I have so much to tell you!"
Astoria's heart swelled with gratitude as her sister began excitedly recounting the train ride and everything that happened afterward. This was what she had always wanted, for their relationship to stay the same even with Hogwarts thrown into the mix.
She hadn't lost her sister again after all, and nothing could have made her happier.
