Enjoy!
How It Should've Been
Chapter 12: Not About Trust, It's Who You Are
Wednesday
Alex stormed up that stairs before ripping open the door the Sirius's study.
"Okay, what the hell is wrong with your mopey ass?" Alex demanded entering the office clearly pissed.
"What're you talking about?" Sirius questioned looking up from the book he was reading.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. For the past two days! Two days! You have not left this house, the only time you even leave your room is to come here. So, I repeat what the hell is wrong with you? You've been back two days! There have been no pranks, nothing, nada. And you barely say a word." She vented. Sirius sat back in his chair.
"Alex, I don't know what you want me to say? Nothing's wrong. I've just been set on finding out more." Sirius tried.
"You know you're a shitty lair." Alex remarked bluntly with no preamble.
"Excuse me?" Sirius frowned and furrowed his brow.
"Fine, I'm not mad that you have apparently become a hermit. I'm mad that this got sent to the house, through the damn mail along with just about a dozen others because apparently you're not accepting owls!" Alex lifted her arm and Sirius could see she was holding a letter or more specifically it was a letter from Hogwarts. It took him a few seconds to remember why it mattered before he sighed audibly.
"I had a meeting with Minerva." He groaned. "I blew it off, crap."
"Yes, you did and now she is blowing up the mail. So, thanks for that." Alex commented dryly. "So, this whole, mopey kick. Is it because of something Amelia said? Or maybe the fact that you aren't together? Because I really can't figure out which." Alex questioned. Sirius stood, closing the book and walking out from behind the desk and over to Alex.
Stopping beside her, he answered. "Neither. And maybe you should just stay out of my business." Taking the letter, he began to walk past her and out of the room but stopped when Alex called out.
"You know just because you're lying to me doesn't mean you should start lying to yourself. And maybe you should stop being a jackass while you're at it." She suggested, stopping him in his tracks and causing him to turn around.
"You know you call me a shitty lair, and maybe that's true. But one of the things I've never been bad at is observations. Amelia had no idea how you found me and frankly neither did I. You are an incredible lair, always have been. You've also always been good at hiding anything you don't want people to know. But I know something more happened at that manor. Amelia so much as told me that. Oh, and I also found this." He took a paper out of his pocket. Alex's eyes went to it to see it was the map of the manor. "I have known you for fifteen years, and I have found out a lot about you. But something tells me, that whole time, I was only seeing as much as you wanted me to." Sirius remarked.
"I thought we moved past the not trusting me thing a long time ago." Alex snapped.
"It's not about not trusting, it's about wanting to know what's really going on." Sirius retorted. Alex moved and walked up directly in front of to the side of him.
"You're right. There are a lot of things you don't know. Trust me when I say this, you're better off that way. So, let it go." She went to move past him when his grabbed her arm as she was beside him and looked her in the eyes.
"That just makes me want to keep going even more." Sirius narrowed his eyes. Alex ripped her arm his grasp, leaned in and looked him dead in the eye.
"Be careful whose secrets you find. Because you'll find that some are better left untouched. Remember that, because I might not always be there to protect your ass." Alex moved and past him and was out of the room when he called out.
"I never said I needed you to." He called out, she stopped standing in the hall but didn't turn around.
"You didn't have to." And with that she turned down the hall leaving Sirius standing in the middle of his office.
He was still holding the map in his hand. While Sirius would've liked to say that he just found it on Alex's desk in her study when he was looking for her earlier, he couldn't. Sirius went specifically looking for something, anything in Alex's area of the house. Amelia told him that she had no idea how Alex knew where he was. So that left the only explanation that something more happened in that manor than Amelia knew about.
Sirius had so wanted to give Alex the benefit of the doubt. He knew her for the past fifteen years. They worked together and helped one another raising the last remaining connection to Lily and James. Sirius had every reason to trust her, right? But it was just something that he couldn't shake. That something more was going on and that it was too easy.
That this was all just a show, he just couldn't figure out for what or why. And he wanted to just ask Alex about it, about the map, but he knew that even after fifteen years. She would lie to him, tell him something that she would twist so perfectly that it would be an altered version of the truth while still being far enough away from the truth to still be a lie. It's what Alex was best at, and he almost always would believe it. There was only ever once where he didn't. And it was because he knew the truth before the confrontation. He watched her lie so easily that it didn't even take any hesitation or faze her in the slightest. Yet he always trusted her.
He still did. Trust wasn't the problem anymore. He knew that whatever was happening, Alex would work it out in the end. That Alex would do whatever it takes in the end and Harry would never become collateral. That wasn't how Alex worked, that wasn't how anybody from her world did. Everything measured, even when you didn't think it could be and no love lost over any fallen enemies.
That was the one of the many things they always disagreed on. Sirius didn't believe in just because they're on the other side they should die. He believed that they should just be detained and face justice. Alex believed that any end should be met and that there should never be a loose end that could easily come back to kick them in the ass, in covering all bases. That in war, everything was on the table.
Maybe that's why James and Lily were dead, because Dumbledore refused to fight fire with fire. Maybe they would still be alive if they were willing to do whatever needed. There really was no telling, because they couldn't go back and change it.
Since he met Alex and learned more of who she was, he tried to have a more open view point. To not be narrow-minded and to make an effort to understand why extremes were sometimes necessary.
It was that lesson that he held with him when he searched Alex's room. She once told him that 'there are people in the world that deal in only extremes, and it would be naïve to think that they can be dealt with in anything short of extreme measures' and she was right. Voldemort was one of those people, a person that was extreme and couldn't be stopped by just detaining him. No matter what Dumbledore believed, he wasn't someone that could be changed.
So, standing in his study, Sirius made a split second decision and left the room before moving to the library parlor downstairs. When they moved into the house Sirius placed James and Lily's painting above the fireplace in the room, when Alex moved in she brought over a magical painting of just Lily, and that was the one he needed to speak to, Lily wasn't above the fireplace but rather above the desk at the far left of the room.
Entering the room, Sirius moved to stand in front of Lily's portrait before taking a deep breath and casting the reanimation spell on the portrait. It was the first time he was ever just speaking to Lily. The portrait came alive.
"Sirius?"
"It's me Lily. I need your help with something." Sirius stated. Lily nodded, gesturing for him to continue. "So, it's been fifteen years since that night. And I've known Alex all fifteen of them, but it feels like she is keeping something important from me. And it's something I need to know, see I was kidnapped -kind of- and she and Amelia came to rescue me, they split up and then Alex came back to Amelia and led her to a room. The one I was in. Amelia had no idea how she knew which one." He took a deep breath. "So, I searched her rooms here a- don't give me that look." He protested when Lily raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, and I found a map of the manor where I was being kept and I just- there is more to this, I just don't know what. I know Alex wouldn't do anything to hurt me or Harry, but it just feels like there's more coming." Sirius finished with a sigh. Lily looked thoughtful taking in the story and thinking.
"I'll warn you Sirius my answer may not be one that you like." Lily warned and when Sirius didn't protest she continued. "Alex as you know does keep quite a few secrets. Always has, and probably always will. Now granted it's been fifteen years and there are probably more of them and they are probably more dangerous and bigger than back then but one thing will never change. Alex never does anything without a reason. There is no secret without a reason it's kept hidden. Some are better kept hidden, some debatable. But the fundamental doesn't change. If it feels like there is more coming, there more than likely is, and just as likely is that Alex knows more about it. Trust me when I tell you this Sirius, if Alex wants it hidden it's for a good reason, whether to just her or not. So, you can dig all you want but either you won't find anything or you will find things Alex can't protect you from." Lily finished.
"You know she said the same thing. About not being able to protect me if I kept going. I don't get it. What's so dangerous and why the hell would I even need protection from her? I never asked for it." Sirius argued beginning to pace in front of the portrait.
"You asked for it the moment you met Alex. You just didn't know it. We may have dark lords, blood supremacy, a corrupt justice system and what is basically a cult but Alex's world? That one has, an actual hell, monsters, Titans, Giants, angry gods, real and deadly prophecies, and even more that I don't know about to list. And who the hell knows what else. There are a lot of things she could protect you from and a lot she couldn't if you keep going. I get that you're worried and you have every right to be after being kind of kidnapped. But Sirius, just trust Alex, these are the times you need to hold your dearest closest. So, don't do something you two can't come back from." Lily finished.
"You're right. Thank you." Sirius looked at Lily with a smile. It was times like these that he missed them more than anything.
"Anytime. Now if you please." She smiled and gestured around her. He nodded and ended the spell.
New York
"Remember that baby girl that we couldn't find fifteen years ago. Name was Luna?" Alex ask with no preamble as she entered the Jake's apartment not bothering to knock.
"You know I could've been naked or busy for all you knew." Jake commented dryly as he entered the room.
"You weren't, were you?" Alex shot back as she turned and closed the turn before turning back to face him.
"What would you have done if I was?" Jake asked exasperated.
"Said sorry?" She suggested only to receive an incredulous look. She shrugged, shaking his head in disbelief, Jake walked over to his fridge and opened it.
"Yes, I remember, why?" Jake grabbed a drink out of the fridge before closing it and leaning back against it.
"Found the kid." Alex grinned as she walked over to the island the was opposite the fridge and sat at a stool.
"Seriously?" He exclaimed kicking off the door and moving to stand opposite her.
"Uh huh. At least from what I've been able to dig up I have. She's a witch, but I think we both know she didn't start out that way. This girl also is a partial." Alex continued.
"What'd you find?" Jake gestured hurriedly for her to continue. Raising her hand, a file appears out of file in it. Setting it on the counter, she spun it around to face Jake before opening it.
"She was taken from the woman you went to search. By Hecate. Then blessed with magic, and given to the Lovegoods, who were at the time trying to have a child but couldn't. That's where she's been. Harry and I ran into her at Diagon Alley say about three weeks before the first. We ran away, she chased and we ended up in a heap in our living room. She's also the only one that knows who Harry really is at Hogwarts."
"Only you two would have that luck to run into her on that random day." Jake shook his head in amazement.
"And apparently she's got this friends family member who is a master. She said he taught her to control her powers." Alex revealed. Jake straightened.
"Have you found him? Or anything about him?" He demanded, Alex just shook her head in response.
"Still looking. But that's not the only reason I'm here." She admitted. Jake's eyebrows furrowed.
"What happened?" He asked cautiously.
"Remember how you helped me find Sirius?" Jake nodded but stayed silent. Taking it for a sign to continue, Alex explained, "So we found him. But that signature that looked like he was fighting a spell and trying to leave a clue. Yeah well, it was meant to be like that, Dumbledore isn't the one who did it. That letter from over fifteen years ago, it's that. It's starting." Alex revealed causing Jake's eyes to go wide.
"I'm guessing they told you not to tell anyone. Even if they didn't I doubt you even told Sirius. But Alex, this could mean so many things, shouldn't he be warned?" Jake wondered in worry. Alex shook her head.
"I can't. He's already digging, and besides, they gave me three options at the manor, I chose the third. It was the best of them. They tell me Sirius was in the manor and I would lie to Amelia, anyone who asked how I found it. Jake, they know." She sounded grave on the last sentence.
"Know what?" He wondered what they could know that would be so bad.
"About the deal I made fifteen years ago. Don't know how but they do. Said that just like my deal, they believe that something's are best hidden for now, including themselves. The whole thing, with Sirius and finding him, all of it. It was all just a part of sending me a message."
"Which is?"
"How easy it is to touch us."
"Their trying to scare you?"
"No. They want to show that it was all just a show. And it was only the beginning."
Okay, so no it's not that Sirius doesn't trust Alex. So, don't start with any of "wow, they've known each other for fifteen years and he still doesn't hesitate to question her." bs because that's not what it is. If you've ever been in a situation like this where you know someone's lying/hiding about something and you feel like something more is at play, you start questioning and wondering. Because it doesn't matter how long or how close you are with someone, if you want to get to the bottom of it and you find incriminating evidence you will start to question them at least a bit due to lacking pieces of the puzzle. He just needed a check from someone that knew Alex better than he does, reassurance.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next time. Happy Reading! -DS
