a/n: this chapter contains mention of alcoholism!


Early December, Upstate New York

Kate had realized this morning that she'd known Rick for three months already. The first few weeks had been spent in irritation at his behavior in the lecture hall. Then, there was that fateful day at the coffee shop that changed the course of their relationship, hopefully forever. The next few weeks felt like a friendship honeymoon phase where the romantic feelings were felt but unspoken. Throw in a Halloween party, a toddler, a class project, a missed birthday, a terrible first date, a break up, a couple of confessions, and an amazing Thanksgiving, and Kate and Rick were now approaching week 13 of their whirlwind semester together. As the couple pulled off the highway to fuel up the car, Kate was begging for 13 to be a lucky number for them. They'd been through a lot in a short amount of time, but the last few weeks together felt like they finally got it right.

But this weekend was going to be, perhaps, the biggest hurdle they'd faced so far.

"Thank you so much for coming with me," Kate says as she brings the engine back to life. Rick wordlessly sets his hand out on the gear shift panel and she grabs hold of it as she maneuvers out of the lot and back onto the open road.

"You shouldn't be alone for this," Rick told her. He frowns when he realizes that for far too long she was alone for this. That he was the only soul she'd entrusted with the truth of her father's alcoholism. That it was approaching two years of her living with that burden on top of grieving her mother.

"Yeah, long road trips are always better with company," she smiles. She knows that wasn't really what he meant, but she even after sharing with him about her dad, it wasn't much easier for her to talk about. "I just hope the snow doesn't get too bad as we get closer to the lakes."

A harsh winter was most certainly around the corner, with frigid temperatures taking hold on the city all last week, followed by a massive storm a few days ago that threatened to keep them from making this trek to Water Ridge Recovery Center. Luckily, the snow had been cleared on the highways, but even just an hour into their trip, it was obvious that Manhattan was insulated from the worst of it. The drifts on the side of the road towered several feet, at times blocking the snow covered trees and the beautiful upstate landscapes.

Still, as the weather grew frightful, Kate felt that things with Rick were truly delightful. After a Thanksgiving dinner where Kate officially met Castle's mom, Martha, they had a redo of their first date. This time, both of them showed up, on time, no less. And it was perfect. The relationship reset helped both of them realize they were in need of stronger communication and both were putting in the effort to be the best they could for the other person. Even as final exams, and Rick's graduation, loomed, they were finding a great balance between work and play. Having turned in their Crime 101 project early, they already received a perfect score from their professor, a huge relief as Kate's other courses were becoming quite demanding in the final weeks of the semester. That was another reason Rick wanted to accompany her on this trip, so she could study when it was his time to drive. That was, if Kate actually decided to let him drive at some point. He thinks she will. She won't admit it, but she's stressed about school, and this trip to move her father back home would only add more tension.

"There's a diner about an hour from here that I discovered on a book signing trip a few years ago. Could we stop there for an early dinner? I can take the wheel after so you can study for Russian Lit?" Rick asks as they approach the westward fork just north of Albany. "They also have the best hot chocolate in the state of New York, which is sounding pretty good right about now."

"Yeah, that does sound good," Kate agrees. As they approach the diner, snow begins to fall, leading to the perfect excuse for a hot chocolate break. When they slide into a booth, they also order some waffles and burgers to go with their hot chocolate.

"How much further until the hotel, do you think?" Rick asks. They'd booked a room about an hour outside of the town where the treatment center was located, so it was still a ways to go.

"A little under 3 hours, but with the snow, I'm not sure," Kate admits. A storm was definitely one of her main concerns for the weekend trip, but right now it was just a few flurries. "Hopefully it doesn't get worse."

"It'll be okay," Rick assures her. "If anything, it's just more time I get to spend with you."

Kate smiles too wide to hide it, her cheeks turning bright red as they always did. "You're pretty good company, too, Castle," she says, reaching out to grab his hand as their hot chocolates arrived at their table.

"This is really good," Kate says when the beverage cools down enough to drink. "Definitely what I needed."

"Are you nervous?" Rick asks. He's been trying to get Kate to talk to him about how she feels about seeing her dad, but she usually changes the subject as quickly as he brings it up.

"Nervous doesn't even begin to describe it," Kate sighs. Rick squeezes her hand tighter, the wordless reminded she needed that she wasn't alone, and more importantly, that he was here for her no matter what. "I'm terrified, actually."

"Terrified? For?" Rick asks, pushing her in hopes that she won't clam up like she has been. They needed to process this, all of it, before he met Kate's dad for the first time.

"I'm just scared that this was all just a backstop," Kate admits. "That as soon as he gets back to the city, it'll all fall apart again. And I just... we can't do that again. I can't do that again."

"I can't go to sleep every night again wondering if I'll get a 3AM drunken SOS to come drag my father home from whichever dive bar he'd stumbled into that night," she bursts. "I can't keep living in fear that he'll get so drunk he chokes on his own pile of vomit, or that he'll get so drunk he forgets how to breathe. I'd gotten so used to cleaning up his messes that I'd forgotten what it was like to make messes of my own. And now that I've been able to do that for the last six weeks...I just...I don't want to go back to how things were."

Rick gripped onto Kate's hands as tightly as she braced herself with his. He wanted her to feel like he was anchoring her in this turbulent time. "Kate, you are the strongest person I have ever met and whatever lays ahead, know that I'm here to go through it with you."

"I'm just so used to doing it on my own, it's weird," Kate tells him. "Good weird, but still weird."

"That's understandable, Kate. But you're not alone, anymore," Rick assures her.

"You know, you just seem too good to be true, sometimes?" Kate tells him with a smile. She wasn't used to feeling such unconditional support, not since her mom died. "You actually remind me of my dad, before he lost control."

"Really? How so?"

"He just used to always make me feel safe, like you do now," Kate says. "I don't think I can ever thank you enough for that."

"Kate, please, that's like..." Rick hesitates. "Just, you deserve all the happiness in the world. You really do."

Kate is beet red at this point. Flattery was not usually such a love language for her, but she realized just how much she needed to hear what Castle was telling her.

"That was one of the last things my dad told me, too, actually. He might even be the reason we're together," Kate tells him.

"Really?"

"Well, actually I think we are the reason we're together but," Kate says. "Do you remember that morning he called me to wish me a happy birthday?"

Rick chuckles at the fond memories. "How could I forget?"

"Well, that morning he also told me that he'd hoped that I was finally doing what made me happy," Kate says. "That I deserved to be happy."

"That's, that's sweet," Rick says.

"Yeah, and I'm glad I took his advice," Kate smiles. "But I just don't want to get my hopes up too much that he's going to just be better."

"Then, don't," Rick tells her. "He still needs to prove to you that he's willing to put in the work to stay sober for you, Kate. Don't give him a pass after six weeks. It's a good start, but it's not over. You both know that."

Kate reaches across the table and grabs tightly onto Rick's hand. "Rick," she says.

"This really is great hot chocolate."


The rest of the drive to the hotel consisted of reading and re-reading and ranting about how much Kate loathed Gogol's "The Nose". She's been forced to read it for her Russian Literature final, where she'll have just two hours to write 2000 words about it. But despite her distaste for the short story, having a writer boyfriend meant heated debate about plot devices and symbolism that made studying for the exam decidedly less awful.

It also made the road trip fly by. They arrived at the hotel around 8PM, which in the middle of December might as well be the middle of the night. Less than an hour later, both Rick and Kate were buried under the blankets ready to go to sleep.

"We need to get to the treatment center by 11 tomorrow, so we should be back on the road by 9:30 to be safe," Kate says as she rests her head against his sturdy chest. "Also, he, um, doesn't really know that you're coming."

"Huh?" Rick pulls himself up to sitting. "I thought you told him."

"Okay, he knows that you're coming, but uh," Kate fumbles. "All I told him was that I was bringing a friend. I didn't tell him you're my boyfriend and I definitely didn't tell him that you are my boyfriend."

"Um, um, Kate, sorry, but that feels like something you should have mentioned earlier," Rick says.

"I know! I know! I'm sorry!" Kate apologizes. "I just didn't want him to freak out."

"Why would he freak out? It's not like you haven't had a boyfriend before," Rick says. "...right?"

Kate can't help but laugh a little. "Yeah, of course, it's more that I didn't know how he'd react to the fact that I'm dating his dead wife's favorite author."

"Oh, I...hadn't thought about that," Rick sighs. "Do you think he'll recognize me?"

"Your name, yes, but your face, I doubt it," Kate says. "I didn't even recognize you at first and I've even gone to..."

"Gone to what?"

"My mom and I went to a signing event for A Rose Forever After a week after it came out, but I ate a bad hot dog before it was our turn so uh, so she got our books signed while I was upchucking in the bathroom," Kate tells him.

"Oh, my," Rick chuckles. "I guess I didn't realize how big of a fan you really are."

"Of the genre," Kate tells him for probably the fiftieth time.

"Uh huh."

"But my mom, she adored your books," Kate says. "So reading them definitely makes me feel closer to her."

"I'm glad," Rick says. "So, you don't think he'll recognize me?"

"Probably not," Kate says. "Maybe just introduce yourself as Rick and then we can tell him together?"

"Sure, whatever you need me to do," Rick tells her. "Anything else I need to know before tomorrow?"

"No," Kate says after some contemplation. "Sorry I didn't mention this until now. I was honestly stewing over how to handle this for weeks."

"You've been thinking about me meeting your dad for weeks?" Rick asks, obviously touched.

"Yes, of course," Kate says. "Especially after Thanksgiving. Martha is so wonderfully accepting, but I can't really say the same about my dad. Not that he's not accepting. He used to be, but so much has changed it's really hard to say how he'll react."

"That's understandable," Rick says. "I'll behave tomorrow."

"You are not who I am worried about, to be clear," Kate gets him a little peck on the cheek. "I just really wish my mom could be here to get to know you. She would've loved you. And not just because she liked your books and thought you were dreamy."

"It would've been my honor, I just know that," Rick says. "But how ever things go tomorrow, we'll get through it together." He lands a kiss on the top of her head and slinks back down to rest his own head on his pillow.

"Together," Kate repeats before they both drift off to sleep.