Thanks to everyone for the reviews and favorites/alerts. Thank you to everyone that has stayed with the story even when I have not updated on a regular basis.
Disclaimer: All characters in this story and the Twilight Saga itself belong to Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any songs in this story. I merely own the plot of the story.
Chapter 22: What If?
Darkness consumed my mind. In my eyes, all I could see was total and complete darkness; moreover, all I could feel was loneliness. I couldn't feel anyone near me, and I couldn't feel the baby kicking me from the inside out. It felt as if I was dreaming, numb to the world. And then, two bright emerald lights emerged from the darkness, illuminating my view.
From the shadows, these two glowing green lights appeared to be eyes. The darkness slowly started to fade away, and as it did, more of the face before me started to become visible. Around the eyes, thick copper eyebrows; a thin but profound nose; pale cheeks, with beautiful lips stretching out into a crooked grin. My view became larger as the body of this handsome man was shown; his pale arms, his clothed but still marvelously-sculpted chest, his long legs, down to his bare feet.
He was holding a child, or an infant was more like it, on his side. His arm was wrapping around her, holding her to him in place. The infant was somewhat blurry; however, I could tell that it was his child. The baby had light chestnut-colored hair, with giant hazel eyes, a mix of green and brown; the child had the same smile as the father, the same cheeks. Although, through all of this, I could see the other half of the baby was the mother; the brown in the eyes, the outline of the nose, the darker color of brunette in her soft hair, and she had looked just as her mother looked as a little one.
Her mother…was me. This baby, Renesmee, was mine, and this man, my man, my Edward, was mine. But what if they weren't mine? What if I lost them somehow? I would regret the fighting, and the leaving, and telling him that I didn't want to be with him. I would regret not being with him for the past weeks. I would regret not letting him be there for me, and for our baby. I needed him, as much as he needed me, and he needed our baby, as much as I needed our baby and as much as our baby would need us.
The idea of actually losing them was horrifying.
The picture of this family slowly faded out of sight, and the pitch blackness came back. I felt something tug at my hand, something rubbed the back of my hand, and then I heard mumbles all around me. I twitched my hand slightly while slowly opening my eyes.
The room was too bright, and my eyes began to burn as I blinked repeatedly to rid myself of the sensation. I heard yelling, and then whispering. Someone was whispering my name.
Bella, Bella…finally, you're waking up. Oh my Bella, thank you…
When I opened my eyes fully, all I could see was the outline of Edward, all blurry; soon, he became all clear and he looked horrible. His eyes were bloodshot and had very bad bags underneath. His hair was even messier than usual; even more, it looked like he hadn't even bathed in quite a while. Soon, doctors filled the room, along with my family and friends - my mother, her husband, my father, Carlisle, Renee, Alice, and everyone else. My eyes began to sting again but not only because it was bright, but also because everyone here was so worried about me.
I realized, in that moment, how selfish I had been – to myself, to the baby, to my family, and to Edward. Edward, who was always there for me, always loved me – even when he didn't realize it – and always there for the baby, was the most selfless person I had ever met. I needed to tell him that I was sorry for being so selfish, that I love him still, and that I want to be with him for as long as we live.
Looking around, I could see that everyone had been crying. I scan Edward's face and all I see is relief, fear, love, worry, and sadness – all at the same time. Edward really had it the worst. He was the one that actually had to help me, to grab my hand and stop me from falling out the window. How traumatizing it must have been for him…
I opened my chapped lips to speak, but nothing came out other than a faint squeak.
"Don't talk yet, Bella. We'll get you some water. Your throat must be hurting so badly…but thank god that you're awake. I-I don't know what I would've done if you or the baby would have…," Edward stopped speaking as he choked up and began sobbing by my side, laying his head on my pregnant stomach.
I put one hand on top of his head, and the other on the side of my stomach, rubbing it. At least I know that my baby is safe, for now…
Nurses filled the room, asking the family to leave so that they could do vital testing. They brought me a glass of water, and I sipped from it eagerly. My throat felt as if it had been dried out for months. After stroking Edward's head over and over, calming him down, he picked his head up and just stared at me.
I tripped over my own words, coming out scratchy at first, "The baby…?"
"She's fine. Perfect, and healthy," Edward's eyes widened as he replied, surprised that was I was speaking already, I suppose.
"And how are you, Edward?"
"I've been better…but I've just been worried like hell. I've been sitting here watching you for the past day, waiting for you to wake up so that I could apologize, Bella. I'm sorry, Bella…I should've been there for you, and I should've saved you from falling down the stairs in the first place. And I'm so, so sorry, baby…"
I replied softly, "I love you, Edward. You're not in the wrong at all. I was selfish for leaving in the first place, and I never should have. I put myself, and our baby, in danger, and I'm so, so sorry for that. But, believe me, I love you so much, and I want to spend the rest of our lives together, with our baby."
Edward smiled slowly as he leaned forward over me, sliding his hand underneath mine, intertwining his fingers into mine. His other hand caressed my cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb as I cried a little into his hand. His chapped lips touched mine lightly – a small, sweet kiss, to let me know that everything was alright.
