Being There
Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.
A/N-thanks once again to my awesome readers who left such kind reviews. You really are keeping me motivated to finish this story!
Nikki :)
Part Fourteen
Leah opened the door to find Jacob standing on her front porch. She scowled at him; he had woken her up from a deep sleep. "What do you want?"
Jacob rubbed the back of his neck nervously. It was never easy dealing with Leah at the best of times and what he was about to ask her to do was probably going to set her off big time. "Can I come in for a minute? I need to ask you something."
Leah leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms. "No you can't. Whatever it is you can ask me here."
"Do you have to be so difficult all the damn time?" Jacob retorted, getting increasingly irate.
"Just ask me so I can go back to bed," Leah yawned widely and began to examine her nails as if she was bored.
"Fine," Jacob gritted his teeth. "I need you to not mention imprinting to Bella."
This got Leah's attention. She stopped faking being bored and glared at him. "You haven't told her about it? Why the hell not?"
"Because she's going through enough as it is. Anyway it doesn't affect her." Jacob said dismissively.
"Are you mad? Of course it affects her. She's in a relationship with you. What if you meet your own 'Emily'? What happens to her then?" Leah spat her cousin's name out as if it burned her throat.
Jacob's hands clenched into fists. "I love Bella. I know that it is not going to happen to me."
"You're a fool if you think that. Look at Sam, I always thought he loved me, see how that turned out," Leah's voice was full of bitterness.
"It's different for me, Leah. I know it is. I've always loved Bella, even when we were kids. Please she has been through so much, she can't handle the unnecessary stress of worrying about something that won't happen." Jacob begged her.
Leah could see the desperation written all over Jacob's face. She wasn't angry at him it was the thought of another going through what she had that was upsetting her. Bella needed to have all the facts if she was planning on a future with Jacob, at this point she was going in blind and that was hardly fair. Leah could understand Jacob's point but she also knew that he was scared that if he told Bella that she might leave him.
"All I can promise is if she doesn't ask me I won't tell her...but if she does then I'm going to be honest. I hated being kept in the dark over why Sam suddenly ditched me, finding out now has only made the pain worse because I now know that my dad was aware of everything." Leah admitted. "I can understand that you're scared you might lose her Jake but that's a risk you have to take."
"Please Lee, don't. I can't lose her, please..." Jacob tried one last time.
"I'm sorry Jacob but If she asks I am going to tell her. Look I have to go..." Leah closed the door on him before he could see the tears beginning to fall down her cheeks.
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Bella spent the morning cleaning the house. Jacob had rushed off after she had brought him up some breakfast, he mumbled something about errands to run. Her dad had left to spend a few hours at work, catching up on some paperwork. She started downstairs and slowly made her way up to the bedrooms. Charlie's room was always neat and tidy; his uniforms arranged neatly on hangers. Bella did some dusting and then left to do her own room. She picked up a few stray clothes and stripped her bed down, throwing the sheets into the laundry basket.
One of the pillowcase's fell on the floor and she leaned down to pick it up. As she bent down she saw that a nail was sticking up from one of the floorboards, the wood was at a slight angle. You had to have very keen sight to even notice it. Knowing how clumsy she could be, Bella decided she couldn't leave it like that. She would probably end up tripping over it and breaking a leg.
She knelt down and tugged at the loose floorboard and was surprised that the nail just popped out and it came away easily in her hand. It seemed that there was a little hole underneath. Bella moved the wood to one side and peered inside. What she saw made her eyes widen and her heart stutter painfully in her chest. Lying on top of a pile of papers was a photograph of Edward with his arm around her shoulders. He was smiling and looking down at her; she was gazing adoringly up at him. Bella recognised the dress she wore to her fateful eighteenth birthday party, this was where the picture had been taken. For some bizarre reason, Edward must have hidden it under the floorboard.
Bella reached in and pulled out the photograph and the papers underneath. She quickly scanned through them. One was a set of plane tickets that Carlisle and Esme had bought for her so that she and Edward could go and visit her mother Renee, they were still in date. The others were random letters that Edward had written to her; seeing his fine script and reading through his flowery phrases brought a lump to her throat. The last item in the pile was a CD that Edward had burned for her, it was him playing the lullaby he had composed for her.
She stood up and went over to her long neglected CD player. With trembling fingers she put the CD in and pressed play. At once the familiar music spilled from the speakers sending her back to the day he had first played it for her. Bella sat on her bed and picked up the photo of the two of them together and studied it carefully. She had always thought that she had a good recollection of what Edward looked like but her memories hadn't done him justice. He was so different in looks from Jacob with his stark white skin, golden eyes and immaculately gelled hair. She tried to fathom what he must have been thinking when the picture was taken, he was smiling but it didn't reach his eyes. As always there was a stiffness about his expression as if he was holding something back, which in a way he was. He had always been extra careful to keep distance between them, every touch and kiss had to be carefully planned and thought out. He had a hard time controlling his blood lust around her and he always said her blood called to him.
The lullaby came to an end and the silence pulled Bella back from the past. She stood up and took the CD out of the player and placed it back into it's case. Retrieving the photograph and Edward's letters she gathered them up and took them down the stairs into the kitchen. She hunted around the cupboards until she found what she was looking for. It was cold outside when Bella opened the back door, the chill reminded her of Edward's cold touch. She smiled to herself grimly, how appropriate!
The outdoor barbecue was covered in tarpaulin, she pulled it off and removed the grill. With the wind blowing her hair and the cold sending goose pimples up her arms, Bella dumped the CD, letters and photograph onto the barbecue. She quickly used the lighter to set fire to the paper and stepped back quickly as the wind fanned the small flames making it erupt into sparks. She stood to one side and watched the edges of the paper turn brown and flake away as her last connection to Edward Cullen went up in smoke.
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Jacob watched as Embry bid him goodbye and headed home. He had reported no sign of any vampire activity. Bella had been inside the house for most of the day; she had only emerged to dump something on the barbecue and burn it. Embry had smelt the smoke as it drifted his way on the wind.
With a heavy heart Jacob trudged up the back steps and rapped on the back door of the house three times to let her know it was him. She took a while to answer and when she opened the door Jacob could see by her red rimmed eyes that she had been crying. Panic made his heart beat faster, had Leah already called Bella and told her about imprinting after all? Bella stepped back and waited for him to enter. He felt uneasy when she didn't speak but just shut the door after him and headed to the living room. He followed after her silently.
Bella curled up on the couch and gazed at him sorrowfully. He could tell by the look on her face that she knew and he felt sick to his stomach that he was on the verge of losing her. "Don't Bells, please..." the words left his lips before he was even aware he had spoken.
"You know?" Bella's forehead creased as she stared at him.
Jacob quickly knelt in front of her and took her hands. "I love you, Bells. Nothing will change that I promise. I know it was a shock but you have to have faith in me." He pressed her hands over his wildly beating heart.
"I didn't expect it, Jake. I really didn't. I wish I could understand the reason's why," Bella pulled her hands away from him and slumped back in her seat.
"What can I do to fix this? I'll do anything you want, anything..." he pleaded with her.
Bella sighed and turned her sad eyes onto his desperate ones. "Some things you just can't fix, Jake. It was hard but I made the decision and to be honest it was freeing in a way. Everything became so much clearer now it's all over."
"Over?" Jacob whispered the word, not really being able to believe that she had spoken it aloud. Everything he had fought for crumbled around him and he felt his heart break in his chest.
Bella's eyes were far away as she recalled the heavy feeling, which had been lodged in her chest, disappear along with the remnants of Edward's letters. She thought Jacob was so adorable asking her if he could fix things, but she had taken the first step to do that herself by burning everything that Edward had left behind; it was sad but cathartic.
Jacob could see the emotions playing across Bella's beautiful face, fresh tears were welling out of her eyes and he wanted nothing more then to kiss them all away. If he had just been honest with her about imprinting before Leah got to her than maybe he would have stood a chance, but right now she couldn't even look at him. All the fight that had propelled Jacob throughout his life deserted him. He had stayed strong when he had lost his mother, when his sister's left a few years later he had kept it all together, caring for his dad and looking after the house. But now his one reason for living had told him it was over. Jacob Black had only cried once in his life; the day they buried his mother. His strong shoulders shook as he put his head in his hands and began to sob silently, no longer able to hold back the tears.
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Bella was alarmed to see Jacob crying. His whole body was shaking with the force of his tears. She slipped off of the couch and wrapped her arms around him. "What is it, Jake? What's wrong?"
Jacob clutched at her like a man drowning. He pulled her onto his lap and hugged her so tight to his body that she could barely breathe. "You can't leave me, Bells. You can't..."
"Oh, Jake...I'm so sorry. I've been rambling on making no sense whatsoever. I just meant it was freeing burning them all. Edward's hold on me was finally over." She held his head between the palms of her hands and gazed at him imploringly.
"I don't understand..." he took deep breaths to calm himself. She wasn't leaving him? He felt so confused.
Bella stroked his cheeks with her thumbs before leaning forward to kiss him softly. "The letters, Jake. I thought you knew..." she frowned as she studied him closely.
He shook his head. "No, I didn't know anything about any letters. Cullen has been writing to you?"
"No, jeez we really have got things messed up. It's my fault. I found some letters, a CD and an old photo of Edward under one of my floorboards. I have no idea why he put them there. I was quite upset when I found them but after a while I just wanted rid of them. So I went outside and I burned the whole lot. It made me feel a lot better..." Bella explained.
Jacob kissed her, he pressed his mouth hard onto hers and wound his hand in the back of her long hair, anchoring her to him. Bella was still at first, completely taken aback by the sudden intensity of the kiss. But gradually she relaxed as he continued to move his mouth on hers. She began to reciprocate, parting her lips so that he could slip his tongue inside her mouth. Their breaths mingled together as passion and a deep need to feel each other overtook them.
They began to undress quickly, Bella pulled her shirt over her head while Jacob began to unbutton her jeans. There was a desperation in their movements, as if this was the last chance they would ever get to be together. Bella's hands wandered over Jacob's bare skin, feeling every groove and ridge of his muscles, trailing her nails lightly across his back in the way she knew he liked. She heard him moan her name as he picked her up and ran up the stairs to her room. They fell on her bed in a tangle of limbs, hands clutching at each other, fingers digging into skin as their need to be joined overwhelmed them.
Jacob slipped inside her easily, they both moaned at the contact and Bella wrapped her arms and legs around him tightly, wanting to feel him close. Their lovemaking was fast and vigorous, both of them needing the quick release.
Afterwards they lay sated in each other's arms, Bella rested her head on his chest and placed her hand over his heart. She had never said the words to him before. She glanced up at his handsome face and with a soft sigh told him what he so badly needed to hear. "I love you, Jake. I love you so much."
Jacob gathered her up into his arms and peppered loving kisses all over her face. "I love you too, Bells. So much."
Bella copied him and kissed him all over, laughing at his delighted expression as he asked her to say it again. "I love you Jacob Ephraim Black," she declared loudly. "I love you."
He rolled them over so he was hovering above her, he gazed into her beautiful brown eyes. He had thought he had lost her today and the very thought had nearly broken him. Bella was his everything and he didn't want anything to spoil their happiness. He would just have to make sure that Bella was never left alone with Leah. Leaning down he kissed her softly on the lips and whispered how much he loved her again. Bella smiled into the kiss and her fingers massaged the skin along the back of his neck as she murmured. "I love you too."
A/N-Thanks for reading!
