Disclaimer: NEIN. IT IS NOT MINE.
A/N: This is for chapter 61, or 'Sassy', when Lily goes along with Sirius' plan and they pretend to date. Remember? Hopefully?
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"-And then Jessica said, that that just was not okay, and broke up with him, and I think that's great. Isn't that great James?"
"Sure," I mumble under my breath, scooping cereal in my mouth hurriedly, scanning the Hall for Sirius, who wasn't in the dorm this morning.
He never misses breakfast. Ever.
"And then Mike was like, oh my god and started telling everyone that she's a slut, so then Jessica snogged Frank in the broom cupboard next to the Charms classroom to get back at him for cheating on her with Danielle-"
"Right,"
"And now Danielle and Mike are dating but Frank broke up with Jessica because he found out that she was using him to make Mike jealous-"
"Okay,"
"So now I don't know whose side I'm supposed to be on, because Danielle is in my dorm but Jessica knows my cousin's friend, so that could make things awkward-"
I nod, not listening, and smile slightly in relief as Sirius and Lily come into the Hall, both looking uncharacteristically nervous. The sight of her still knocks all the wind out of me.
Are they...are they holding hands?
I nearly choke on my cornflakes, eyes frozen on their interlocked fingers. Sirius' eyes catch mine, just for a second, and there's a flicker of apology in his eyes before he looks away, flushed.
"Lily-" Alice starts, looking shocked and perplexed.
"Later Alice," Lily looks tired, exhausted even, as she swings her long legs over the bench and drops her bag under the table with an air of finality. "Please."
She downs a cup of milk, and I hate that I'm still transfixed by the way her hair falls over her shoulder like a waterfall. Sirius is watching me with reproachful eyes and I glare at him, staring daggers at his stupid betraying face.
"Oh, so you two are together now?" Elizabeth sounds overly chirpy, sardonic, and it's too loud in our silent, stunned group. "You are way better suited than Lily and James were."
That's not true.
Anger ripples through me, sharp and painful, and fizzles out as Elizabeth's goblet tips over, slamming it into the wood.
I feel her eyes on me, and I stare determinedly down at the table.
"See you later James!"
"Bye Freya!"
Holding my broomstick aloft like a trophy and grinning at the third-year, I start to walk up to the broom cupboard, but I'm distracted as Elizabeth comes running up to me, blonde hair flying, looking distressed.
"James! Guess what your Mudblood ex did to me!"
"Don't call her that-"
"What? No, she punched me! For like, no reason! She's such a bit-"
"She punched you?"
"Yeah! Oh my God she's actually proper mental, like I'm not even joking, like I actually think she needs to get checked out-"
"Why did she hit you?"
"For like, no actual. Like, why did ever date her, seriously, I think's she actually proper crazy-"
"Yeah, okay, I'll go talk to her, is that what you want?"
"But isn't it just awful, though? Like how dare she?!"
"Yes, it is."
Elizabeth lights up, glowing. She really is stunning. "Thank you so much, James!"
When we kiss, I can taste her cherry lip balm.
Lily is sat at a table at the back of the library; her hair catches my eye straight away, and I almost sub-consciously advance towards it, like a moth drawn to a flame. She bites her lip, engrossed in her work, and the fact that the sight of it makes me want to kiss her angers me as I storm over. "What the hell is wrong with you Evans?"
She doesn't even look up from her work, flicking airily through her book. "What's wrong with me, what's wrong with your girlfriend?"
"You punched her!""
"Oh, she told you about that then."
"Yeah, she did! Look, I get that you're jealous, but-"
"Jealous? Of what? Your ridiculous hair? Nope, Potter, I prefer my own." Lily snorts and throws her hair over her shoulder, where it catches light from the lamps like it's on fire.
"Just stay away from her, Evans." I sigh, turning to go, annoyed with my lack of self-control and the horrible amazing uncomfortable flutter in my stomach.
"She called me a Mudblood, you know." The tired hurt in her voice means I stop on instinct and turn back around.
"You probably don't care-"
"You're right, I don't."
I'm desperate to get out of this library where her gaze burns into me and her bottom lip trembles and her eyes are misted over with emotion.
"I always thought you were the kind of person who was against, you know, bigoted remarks? Apparently not."
"I am, but...it's just..." I'm outraged by her comment but I can't take back what I just said.
"It's just what?"
"Nothing." I shake my head, firmly. "Nothing. Just leave me alone, Evans."
Turning to go, I'm frozen when her soft voice sends shivers down my spine again.
"Remember, Potter. I may not have learnt much from you, but I have learnt this.
Just because a lion says it's a mouse doesn't make it a mouse.
Just because someone's a Slytherin doesn't make them evil.
Just because someone's a Gryffindor doesn't make them brave.
Just because Sirius is a Black doesn't make him bigoted.
Just because Remus is a werewolf doesn't make him a monster.
Just because James Potter seems nice doesn't mean he is.
Just because Lily Evans seems perfect doesn't mean she is.
Just because your girlfriend seems lovely doesn't mean she is. Remember that."
My mind is racing, bursting with the exclamation I'm yearning to scream, shaking with anger and confusion and the memory of Sirius' smug face with his hand in hers.
"You and Sirius aren't even right for each other!"
Her face changes, shifting into a deadly smile, and I know I've gone too far, I've pushed her too much. "I searched everywhere."
"What?"
"I went through loads of books."
"Huh?"
"I went through my trunk and all of your letters."
"What are you-"
"I even went through my wardrobe!" The satisfied, proud smirk on her face makes my heart ache. "Yet I still couldn't find where I asked for your opinion."
With that she pushes herself to her feet, drops her books into her bag and swishes out past me, hair brushing my body as she leaves.
Damn it Evans. You're going to be the death of me.
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She-who-loves-fanfiction xx
