Chapter 4

Sam replayed the days events in her head as she came through the door with the kids. This was exactly why she didn't want to be around Drew. She knew all those feelings were still there and why would they not be? Their breakup wasn't over cheating or disliking something about the other person. In a way it's like they were forced apart by fate. It wasn't fair. It wasn't what Drew wanted. This was all her choice.

"Hey. Where were you guys?" Jason asked as Sam entered the penthouse. He ran over to help her with the stroller. "Here, let me help you with that."

"Oh, I brought the kids over to Drew's. I thought I told you that?" Jason helped get the stroller inside but didn't take out Scout. It's like he was afraid to touch her.

"Oh. Right. You did, I'm sorry. I don't know why I was thinking it was just the kids going."

"Well, because it usually is just the kids going. I decided to take them myself this time." Sam pulled Scout out of the stroller as Danny ran past her into the living room. "Is that a problem?"

"No. Of course not. I just thought it might make things complicated. You seeing him, while we are trying to move on."

"Look, Jason. He's Scouts father. We shared a life while you were gone. That doesn't just go away. Drew is a part of our lives, and not just as your brother." Sam said, visibly irritated.

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I know this whole situation has been hard on you. But we'll get through it."

"Sure." Sam put Scout down in the living room and went to kitchen for a glass of water. She took a sip and put the glass down, closing her eyes. Once again remembering the feel of his touch on her arm. How soothing it was, like nothing between them had changed. The feelings were still there. As much as she tried to push them away she still loved him. She breathed in deep, for a moment smelling a hint of his cologn. She touched her fingers to her lips, aching to feel his soft lips on hers again. How was she supposed to do this? Walk away from a man she loved with every part of herself. Out of obligation to a man who as much as he tried, couldn't love her the way his brother did.

Drew sat with his beer on the couch trying to once again forget he was alone. Just a couple hours ago he was standing in this room with the love of his life. Two beautiful children asleep in the bedroom. They were so close. So close to giving into the desires that never went away. Drew couldn't help but think of the irony. When he was told he was Jason, he did everything in his power to distance himself from everything about his life. Now that life was gone and he would give anything to have it back. More than anything he was upset that he wasted so much time as Jason pushing Sam away. All that time apart he would give anything to get back. Every moment with her was precious and he wished he could get back every minute.

Just then his phone rang and ripped im from his thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Hey man, it's Curtis. How are you holding up? How was the visit with Sam?"

"It was good. It was tough. Seeing her..being so close to her. But it is what it is, you know? It's just how it's going to be from now on." Drew said, feeling defeated.

"Well listen, don't get mad. But i may have set something up for you to take your mind off things a little."

Drew hesitated.

"What do you mean you set something up?"

"Look, i have this friend..she's single. Just got out of a relationship herself. Her name is Valerie. I thought maybe you two could go out get a drink...i told her you'd meet her at the Floating Rib at 8.."

"You what? Look man, i know your heart was in the right place here but I'm not really.."

"Just go, man. You need this. If anything it's a distraction, which you could clearly use after today.." Curtis interrupted.

"I'll go. But listen, no more set ups okay? I'll go this once but you really need to stay out of this. You know i love you but this is it."

"Deal. Let me know how it goes, Drew. Take it easy."

"Alright, you too."

Drew hung up and threw his phone on the coffee table. He couldn't believe Curtis had set him up on a date. That was the last thing he wanted or needed, especially after his encounter with Sam earlier. She was the only thing on his mind. But, maybe Curtis was right. Sam still went home to Jason, so maybe a distraction was exactly what he needed. He finished his beer and inhaled deeply. He needed to do this for himself. He decided to push Sam from his mind even if just for a few hours.

After Sam put the kids down she went downstairs. There was Jason again, sitting on the couch. Again, two beers sat on the coffee table in front of him. He had done this last night and the night before. And everynight for a little over a week. Everynight Sam made an excuse to get out of sitting with him and talking. Really talking. About what happened. Why he was gone so long. What he had missed. Sam had promised him to try and so far she hadn't given that much of a chance. Today she had almost given in to her desires with Drew and maybe that wasn't fair. Sam looked up to see Jason looking at her. Waiting...hoping tonight she would sit with him. So she walked over to the couch and sat down. Picked up the beer and took a sip.

"So...where do we start? I mean really where do we start? Why did it take you 5 years to come back? You know I waited. I never believed you were dead. And when...Drew came to town I felt this connection to him that I couldn't explain. When we found out he was Jason it all made sense. My draw to him. Danny's. We spent two years falling in love and building a life. And then you show up. And it was all a lie. But here you are. So please, help me understand." Sam said finally letting her feelings known. If they were going to talk, they were going to really talk. Honestly.

"I don't know, Sam. I remember being on the pier. Getting shot. And waking up in a clinic in Russia. I didn't realize how long it had been. They had me sedated so I wasn't able to get away. I wanted to. All I could think about was getting back to my life. To you, Jake, Danny...Sonny, Carly. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that." Jason said looking away.

"I mean how does this work? Are we just supposed to pick up where we left off? I mean, it looks like you have with Sonny and Carly. Like nothing ever changed. Not that I'm surprised. They hated that Drew wanted nothing to do with the business. That they weren't his first priority."

"Look. I know that this has been hard on you. I do. And I'm so sorry for that. Sonny and Carly are my best friends. I work for Sonny. I owe him my life. I want you to know that I don't have any expectations here. I'm grateful you're giving me a chance to make it up to you. And I will. I just need you to trust me. Do you trust me? Isn't that love still there?"

"Of course it is. You were the first person to make me believe I could actually trust myself. You were the first place I felt I could really ever call home. I want to give this a chance.." in mid sentance Jason leaned forward and kissed her. Without even a thought she gently pushed him away. It was wrong. It felt wrong. Her eyes began to fill with tears.

"Sam I'm sorry...I thought..." Jason trailed off...unable to look her in the eye.

Sam felt her heart race. The walls felt as if they were closing in. Her hands trembled. She looked at Jason, who was visibly upset at her rejection.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not ready for this...I...I need some air. I'm sorry." Sam grabbed her coat and keys and quickly walked out the front door. She called the elevator and leaned her back against the wall. She looked back at the penthouse door praying he wouldn't follow her. The door remained closed. She pressed the elevator button a few more times. What was taking so long? She closed her eyes and saw Drew's smiling face. She breathed in deep. This was a mistake. What was she doing? There was only one place she wanted to be in that moment. Just then the elevator doors opened. She quickly got inside and hit the button to the parking garage.

Drew and Valerie sat on the couch in his living room. The date had gone fine. She was a nice girl. They got along. He had tried his best to keep Sam off his mind. When it came to going home, Drew asked her to come in for a coffee. He hadn't talked much about his reationship with Sam but Vaerie had spoken a little about her breakup and he could sympathize. He knew what it was like feeling alone.

"So, what happened with your last realtionship? What is a handsome, sweet guy like you doing single?" Valerie asked taking a sip of coffee and placing her mug on the table.

Drew chuckled. "Well. That's a long story. But in short...it was a case of mistaken identity. The life I thought was mine really belonged to someone else. So, here we are. She got her real husband back and that leaves me...starting over I guess."

"Wow. That's quite a story. But I'm not quite sure I understand.."

"Well, it turns out I have a twin brother. I thought I was him. Somehow, I had his memories. Memories of a life he shared with someone. And I lived that life until he came back and reclaimed it. Proved I was someone else..." Valerie looked confused. "It sounds crazy, I know. But 2 months ago I was married with a family. Now, aside from my daughter I pretty much have nothing. No ties to that life."

"That's awful. What about your life? Didn't you have a life before all this?"

"If I did, I don't remember. I have my brother's memories. None of my own."

"I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what that must be like. So your wife..or at least the wife you thought was yours...what? She just went back to your brother?"

"She did. Our relationship was built on false memories and her thinking I was him. She felt like she needed to give him his life back. Make up lost time for him.." Drew's voice trailed.."Anyway, Thank you for tonight. It really helped me get my mind off things a little bit."

"The night doesn't have to end yet. We are clearly both feeling lonely. I could help distract you a little more.."

"The night doesn't have to end yet. We are clearly both feeling lonely. I could help distract you a little more.."

Before Drew had a chance to respond, her lips came crashing down onto his. Drew pulled away quickly shaking his head. Sam's face flashed through his mind. Her face was the only one he wanted to cup in his hands. Her lips the only ones he wanted to feel on his own.

"Wait wait...Valerie look I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea here..did I?" Drew was confused. He didn't recall anything he had said as an invitation. Valerie was embarrased.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I must have completely misread that...you know what? I'm just going to go. I'm sorry Drew. I never should have assumed...thank you for a nice evening." Valerie collected her things and headed for the door. Drew got up and followed her.

"You really don't have to go. I'm sorry, I'm just..." Valerie was already out the door and as Drew popped his head into the hallway he saw HER standing there. Sam watched as Valerie ran past her. She turned back at Drew standing in the doorway, tears in her eyes.

"Sam?"