You Have Become a Fraction of the Sun
It was warm.
All of it.
Memories of Haru made Rin very warm. Not in a cutesy and cozy manner like a nice spring day. No, it was in an uncomfortable, like a cold drink stuck in the sun too long kind of way. But Rin couldn't help himself to go through his memories as he rode next to a window on the plane taking him back to his childhood home of Japan. Rin couldn't really focus his thoughts, sometimes he'd think about how finally, this would be the chance to lay his frustrations about Haru beating him all those years ago to rest. Then, he'd think about how his mother and sister would probably wanted to see him, but Rin was planning on trying to put that off as far as possible. Not really because he didn't want to see them, it was being swarmed by questions in need of answers that kept Rin away. Plus, he'd seen them during every holiday break, so they could wait a little longer couldn't they?
But those thoughts didn't last too long. It was back to Haru and the stupid warm thoughts he was having. Sometimes Rin didn't understand why he couldn't let this go. Even in the midst of his defeat in Australia, it was Haru that always stood out. Maybe it was because Haru was so apathetic about everything.
But that one time...Wait, don't think about that Rin thought.
He promised himself that this would be it. Rin would race Haru, he'd win, naturally, regain confidence in fulfilling his father's dream, and all these thoughts would just go away.
Right?
When Rin touched the edge the pool and looked up to see that for the first time, he'd beaten Haru in the 100m free, for the first time, in a long time, he felt elated.
Now I never have to think of this stupid kid ever again! Rin thought turning to gloat to Haru.
But then Rin saw the look on Haru's face. It wasn't the look of someone who had just lost to a race to his rival. Haru looked almost glad.
"You won Rin"
And that set him over the edge as he grabbed Haru by the goggles around his neck and stared into eyes of blue that seemed to scream some form of pity. Rin had known then that Haru had thrown the race. But why? Was Rin just such a pathetic person he couldn't even be taken seriously by the only person he'd considered an equal?
Rin couldn't even get a word in before the security guard found them out.
After finally getting the motivation he needed to join the swim team, Rin found his nights filled with warm angry thoughts about Haru and that somehow he'd make Haru see it his way. He'd make Haru face him for real so that Rin could finally let go of these petty thoughts and finally focus on his Olympic dreams. But he wasn't quite sure how he'd get a guy like Haru to even get on board with that.
When it was announced that Samezuka and Iwatobi would have a joint practice, it slightly worried Rin that he wouldn't be able to focus on his own training with Haru possible showing him up. But luckily he kept himself occupied. And even when that stupid glasses kid almost drowned, Rin was able to keep his cool around Haru and whenever he even thought about Haru, he'd just start up some light conversation with Nitori and quickly got Haru off his mind.
"Rin?"
"Haru!?" Rin said back looking as confused as the other as they emerged from the dressing room of a swim shop.
Haru looked like he instantly regretted noticing Rin as he turned his head looking like he was about to take off for the exit.
"Wait Haru" Rin said grabbing Haru's wrist before he could walk out. "We need to talk".
Outside of the store, Rin tried to get Haru's full attention by staring intently at him but Haru just seemed to avoid all eye contact with Rin. So Rin pounded his palms on each side of Haru, boxing him in. Haru jumped slightly and for a short moment looked into to Rin's eyes only to break contact again. Memories suddenly flowed back to Rin's mind of when they kids. Stupid, annoying warm thoughts.
Now is not the time to be thinking of these things.
"You won didn't you?" Haru said quietly. "What more do you want?"
Rin clicked his tongue. What more did he want? Wasn't it obvious?
"I want to race. A real race, one where you don't throw it"
Haru paused for a moment and finally turned his eyes toward Rin.
"I'm not going to swim for you Rin" He said sternly.
Rin felt his body rising in temperature.
"Well, I need you to swim for me". Rin lowered his voice "Or else I won't be able to move on" Rin said looking away.
"Fine". That was when Haru grabbed Rin's arm and pushed him away. "But if you lose, don't cry and don't say you're going to quit"
Rin smirked to Haru's agreement. "I'm not a little kid anymore Haru. This time I'm going to show you how different you and I really are." And with that Rin walked away. The conversation really made him look forward to training that night. There was no way Rin was going to let himself lose to Haru. Because he needed this, not just for himself, but for the sake of his father's dream.
"Are you excited for tomorrow Matsuoka-senpai?" Nitori asked referring to the tournament.
Rin sat down in his bed to put on his shoes. "I guess" Rin answered, saying the first thing that came to his mind. Tomorrow was the day he'd been look forward to for years now. But was he really excited? It didn't really matter though. Rin didn't need to be excited to understand what he need to do tomorrow.
"I'm going out for a run" Rin told Nitori before leaving the room.
It would have been pitch dark outside if it wasn't for the street lamps surrounding the school pathways. Rin rather liked his night runs. He could just let his mind wander on whatever. Unfortunately, his mind wandered on to Haru. To Rin, it would have been fine if it was just Haru in general that was floating around in his mind. In someways it could be a type of motivator but, it was one memory that keep coming to mind. It was after the relay, and that was the first time Rin-.
Nope, not going to think about that. Think of something else. Anything else. Rin thought.
Why am I so fixated on this one stupid memory. It doesn't even make any sense.
Rin wouldn't have been surprised if Haru didn't even acknowledge his single most important memory of him. And all of this made Rin very warm.
A/N: Look who's back! So, the reason I took such a long time to update was because I wanted to completely finish writing the story before I started to put out chapters again because I tend to never post on time but since I have it all written it should be coming out every week. There are going to be three more chapters coming out so look forward to that. So I hope you enjoyed and thanks so much for supporting this series so far!
