It took a week of Debbie's herbal remedies and constant questions for my eye to heal up. Papa was furious when I came home but laughed when I told him that I walked into a broom cupboard thinking that it was my bedroom. Jacob never spoke to me the whole way home and only said three words since we've been home. He told Debbie what happened, but she sided with me and told him that I was a girl and needed to have some fun in my life. This only made him more angry so now he wasn't talking to her either. No one else noticed that Jacob was unhappy, life just continued on in an excited rush. For Christmas was two weeks away.

"Auntie Susanna! Auntie Susanna!" Aggie danced around me as I held baby Nathaniel.

"What is it Aggie?" I asked trying to keep my patience.

"Grandpa told us that St. Nicholas comes in less that two weeks." She said her eyes bright.

"That's right honey. But only if you've been good and haven't fought with your brother." As I said this she stopped jumping and stared at me with wide eyes.

"Oh no. I pulled Samuel's hair one time so hard that he cried." Tears filled her eyes and I had to bite back my smile.

"Well then you better be extra nice to him for two weeks." I said, but the tear rolled down her cheek. "Oh Aggie, don't cry." I wrapped an arm around her tiny shoulders and sighed. "Just be a good girl and I'm sure he will come."

"But how do you know?" she asked wiping her eyes.

"Because I used to pull Uncle David's hair all the time, but as long as I was nice to him most of the time, St. Nicholas still came to bring me a present." At this she smiled and her tears stopped. "No go on and help your momma with the washing while I change this baby." I said and she danced off.

I placed the one-month-old baby on the table and talked to him as I undid his clothes and took off the soiled nappy. He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. All he did now was smile and rarely ever cried. I prayed that my children would be like him, but looking at Aggie I knew they wouldn't because this baby was blessed with two calm, gentle natured parents. Aggie and I got two high maintenance parents who tended to over react at small things.

"Who's a handsome boy? Are you a handsome boy?"
"Are you talking to me or the baby?" A voice came from the doorway and my head shot up so fast.

"Andrew!" I smiled brightly and he rushed to my side, snow flying off his coat and from his hair. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me off my feet. "It's so good to see you." I said when he placed me back down. He kissed my lips softly and smiled at me.

"And you. I heard about your eye." His thumb touched the little pink line that was left from my injury. "How are you?"

"Fine, I can see perfectly and my humility is almost gone." I said with a laugh and placed the clean baby into his basket by the fire. His eyes flickered as he started dozing.

"How was the castle?" Andrew asked as he watched me cover the baby up.

"It was beautiful. It has the highest ceilings I have ever seen and so many different colours. It was…wonderful." I said dreamily. He sat in the chair close to the fireplace. "Want some tea?" I asked and he nodded.

"So did you meet new people?" He asked studying the fire. He meant did I meet men, possible suitors.

"Of course." I smiled as I filled the kettle. I let him think about it for a second before I continued. "I met one couple. The Duke and Duchess of Cumberland. The sweetest people I know. She was so kind, from Sussex originally. But she married a duke and moved to Cumberland. She wants me to come and visit her in the New Year."

"That's marvelous. Any others?" He asked. I smiled and sat on his lap.

"No one really special." I said wrapping and arm around his shoulder and playing with his ponytail. An image of Jesse flashed into my mind and I sighed. "No one I would consider." At this he looked at me and I smiled.

"I…I wanted to talk to you about that Susanna." He said, his eyes shifting to the fire. I felt a cold sweat take over my body as I knew where this was headed.

"Oh?" I peeped.

"I…I…You see I have enough money now, and it's just my poor old mother living at home with me. So I was wondering, hoping really…" my stomach churned and I suddenly felt very nauseous. "marry me?" he said the words and I blinked. I swallowed and stood up. He looked at me with worry in his face.

"Did…I'm sorry what?" I asked looking at him. He stood now and held my hands.

"Will you marry me?"

"Did you ask my father?" I asked, knowing that if he had asked I had no choice but to say yes for fear of hurting his pride and gaining a reputation.

"I have. I asked while you were away." He looked at me hopefully and I smiled the best smile I could muster.

"Of…Of course I'll marry you. It only seems right." I said and he beamed at me. He picked me up and spun me around.

"Thank you! Thank you!" He said. "You've made me the happiest man in all of England." He said and I laughed, shaking my head.

"When…when were you thinking…"

"Your brother suggested Christmas Day. To celebrate the lords birth and our union." He smiled.

"David's always been a romantic at heart." I said smiling but inside I was panicking. Christmas Day, that was two weeks away. Two weeks and I would be a married woman with more responsibilities.

"It wasn't David that suggested it. It was Jacob. He said the sooner the better." Andrew frowned. "I'm not quite sure what he meant but-" His words were lost as my thoughts screamed in my head. He did this to punish me. He wanted to make an example of me; to teach me a lesson. "So is it Christmas day then?" I snapped back to what was happening and looked at him.

"Pardon?" He smiled at me and shook his head.

"Shall we tell everyone Christmas day?" He asked. I looked at his face and even though I wanted to turn and run as far away as possible I nodded.

"Yes. Christmas Day." I said and he smiled at me again. He kissed me deeply and lifted me from the ground again. When he put me back down he kissed me once more before dashing out the door. He bumped into Debbie on the way out and she laughed as he kissed her cheek.

She smiled as she waved and shut the door. When she turned to me there was a sad look on her face.

"So you've said yes then?" She said as she hung up her coat.

"What else was I supposed to say? He asked Papa already." I sighed and sank into the chair Adam had left.

"Oh my poor girl. Maybe a miracle will happen." She said wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I laughed.

"A miracle would be if Andrew fell in love with someone else, for I would never want anything bad to happen to him."

"Yes that's not likely." She patted my arm and smiled. "Well maybe you'll end up loving him." I sighed and rubbed my face. In two weeks my freedom will be robbed from me and my life will be over.

Before I knew it Christmas had arrived bringing with it a large snowstorm that took us three hours to shovel the driveway. Everyone was in excited jitters for Christmas and the wedding. There wouldn't be that many people at my wedding, just a small party and the ceremony would take place after the Christmas mass. Debbie let me wear her wedding dress and we would have the dinner in our barn.

The morning of the wedding I woke early and felt a hard lump in my stomach. I tried to go back to sleep but I could not manage to get comfortable. I sighed and tossed back the blankets, regretting it when the cold air his my bare legs. I quickly wrapped a shawl around my shoulders and went to the window. I pushed open the wooden shutters and looked out at the cold dark world. The sky was turning a light pink just off of the horizon. A chill ran down my spine and goose bumps broke out over my body. I quickly shut the shutters and left my cold bedroom.

I went to the warm kitchen were the boys were sleeping and slipped on Papa's winter shoes before going outside to fill the kettle from the tap. I walked around the back of the house, behind the barn to the spot where Papa would cut wood and found the iron tap buried in the snow. I touched the ice cold metal and winced. There was no wind today but it was the coldest day so far. I turned the tap and water slowly streamed out of it. It took longer than normal because the water had started to freeze inside the tap, which meant that getting water would be difficult until it got warmer. I winced, as the freezing cold water rushed over my hand once the kettle was full. I turned off the tap and raced back inside. When I was back in the kitchen Papa was awake and so was David.

"Merry Christmas Sister." David said with a bright smile on his face.

"Merry Christmas David. Merry Christmas Papa." I lit the stove and placed the kettle on it. "I have a gift for both of you." I said smiling brightly. I left the kitchen and raced upstairs. I briefly glanced at the dress hanging on the front of my wardrobe before I opened it and grabbed the three parcels that were wrapped in my closet. I left the presents that I had gotten for Aggie and Samuel in there, for we wouldn't see them till after the sun came up.

I handed Papa and David their presents and shook Bradley awake to give him his. He grunted a thanks and went back to sleep. I rolled my eyes and sat by the warm fire watching them open their gifts. David ripped the coloured paper with excitement and Papa opened his gift slowly with care. I had knitted David a scarf that had died blue wool. He looked at it and smiled.

"Thank you Susanna. It's just what I need." He wrapped the scarf around his neck and grinned at me. "How did you manage to buy this?"

"I can't tell you that!" I said with a wink. "It's the magic of Christmas."

Papa's gift was a pair of wooden stick figures that I had seen while in town. They were carved out of cherry wood. It was a man and woman and they were holding hands whilst looking at each other, only their faces were undefined. You had to imagine the expression on their faces. When I saw it I thought of Momma and knew that Papa would like it. He looked at me with a smile and his eyes shone.

"Thank you." He said and I smiled and nodded. Even though it had been some years later, Papa still cried about Momma every now and again.

"I didn't really have time to wrap your gift Susanna." David said, looking down at the floor.

"David you don't have to get me anything." I smiled.

"I did get you something…I just haven't wrapped it yet, and it will be more suited for a wedding gift." He said with a smile and I had to force a smile back.

"Thank you."

"You better get ready." Papa said giving my hand a squeeze and I nodded. I stood up and poured tea for everyone. I looked around the kitchen and felt the tears form in my eyes. I looked away as I poured milk into the tea. In a few short hours this would no longer be my home.

The morning passed by in a chaotic blur. Debbie and Jacob brought the kids over from breakfast and I have them their gifts. Aggie got a rag dole from the market and Samuel got a wooden horse. Debbie I gave a red shawl that I had knitted and Jacob I gave him a new hat, like the one I gave Bradley only one was green and the other was blue.

After breakfast Debbie took Aggie and I upstairs and started fixing our hair. She rambled on about married life for close to two hours before Aggie snapped and asked if she could go and play because marriage was boring and sounded "dreadful". I looked and Debbie and we both laughed as stormed from the room.

Debbie helped me into the dress and she held out my hands and smiled at me. "You look beautiful!" She said with tears in her eyes. "Your Momma would be so proud of you." She said and now there were tears in my eyes. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and held me tightly. The knock on the door separated us.

"Come in." I said wiping the tears away. Jacob's head appeared and he smiled.

"Ready?" He asked and then his smile faded as he took in the dress. He frowned slightly and sighed. Debbie squeezed my hand and left the room.

"Well? Finally going to talk to me?" I said, fighting back the sobs that were just waiting to escape.

"Susanna…I was worried about you. I'm sorry." His head fell slightly and I sighed. I stepped towards him and wrapped my arms around him.

"I'm sorry too Jacob." I whispered.

"You look beautiful." He said. "I can't believe my little squirt for a sister is getting married." He smiled and held my face. There were wet marks on his cheeks and his eyes were glossy. "We are very proud of you." I nodded thanks for fear that the sobs would come out if I spoke.

"Come now. Papa's waiting with the carriage." He said.

"Ok, just give me one more second and I'll be right down." He smiled, kissed my cheek and left the room. I turned and sighed. I stared at my reflection in a mirror that Debbie had brought for the occasion.

My dress was a little too big on me. It had lacy sleeves and a high neck. It was a light material meant for a summer wedding, but Debbie had knitted me a white shawl to wear with it to keep me somewhat warm. I wore my hair down and curly and a white beaded headpiece that circled my head and had a long veil attached to it. I sighed at my reflection before leaving my childhood behind.

There were more carriages at the chapel then I had expected. When we pulled up we were naturally the last ones to arrive. I studied the empty carriages that stood close to the church, horses tethered to nearby trees or posts. I noticed a carriage that looked too fancy to be from around here. It had gold frames and gold steps, along with glass windows and red curtains. I smiled when I thought of Maria and Spencer.

Debbie kissed my cheek and she and the children raced inside and let everyone know that we were here. My brothers all kissed me; Bradley gave me a kiss that barely touched my cheek, before they too disappeared into the church. Papa offered me his arm and I smiled at him.

"Ready?" He asked.

"I don't think so." I said honestly. He smiled at me.

"No one ever is." He said as he patted my hand.

"Papa, I'm scared." I said staring at the closed doors.

"I know darling. But it'll work out." He kissed my head. "Your mother and I barely knew each other when we got married. We never courted like you and Andrew have. Our parents arranged a union when we were children and married us off at a young age."

"But you and Momma loved each other. I know you did." I said.

"Yes we did. I still love her. But sometimes love takes a while to grow. It's the little things that make it happen. Sometimes love doesn't just occur over night." He smiled at me knowing that I didn't love Andrew. "You'll be alright." As the words left his mouth music started playing and that huge rock in my stomach had shrunk to just a tiny pebble.

The large white doors opened and I looked down the aisle of the bright church and smiled at all the eyes looking back at me. Papa held my hand as we walked down the aisle to the slow music. Andrew stood at the altar with Jacob beside him, his back towards me, but he was tense. I could tell that he was nervous and uncomfortable just from looking at his back. I smiled and thought about what Papa had said. Maybe I could love him one day.

When the priest said, "You may kiss the bride," I blushed and Andrew beamed at me. He bent towards me and kissed me gently. The guests clapped and cheered and I smiled at him. He kissed me once more before we turned to walk down the aisle. I smiled at my family standing close by, then to Gina and Henry who waved to me. I smile at friends from my youth or friends of my parents and then we were out the church doors. We stood off to the side of the church so we could thank our guests for coming.

Andrew stood close to me, his hand on the lower part of my back as we shivered in the cold. We shook hands and kissed almost everyone before I spotted him. I blanked as my eyes met his.

"Your majesty." Andrew gasped and bowed down. I jumped and curtsied. "What an honor to have you at our wedding."

"It is my pleasure." Adam said smiling at Andrew. He shook his hand and then smiled at me. He leaned in and kissed my cheek, lingering a second too long before he backed away. "I hope you two are very happy." He said his eyes meeting mine. I smiled.

"We are." I said, trying to make it believable. He nodded to me and headed off to talk to more guests. Jesse who stood behind him, didn't offer me a smile just a handshake for Andrew, who he gave a cold look to and a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Congratulations." He said in a low voice his eyes telling me something else, before he drifted off to follow Adam.

"Do you think we offended him?" Andrew whispered.

"I have no idea." I said watching Jesse smile at a group of giggling girls who Adam had started talking to. He looked back at me and his smile faded.

"Well, you managed to get her down the isle. Well done cousin." Gina's voice in my ear caused me to jump. I smiled brightly and flung my arms around her.

"Thank you for coming!" I exclaimed.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world." She said. "But I'm afraid that now you and I are too different. We'll have nothing in common anymore."

"Why not?" I frowned.

"Because I'm the towns whore where as you're an old married lady. It just wouldn't be right." She said loudly, causing people to look over in shock. I let out a loud laugh and hugged my dearest friend again.

"Oh Gina. You and I will always be friends. You're like a sister to me." I said, making it clear that I didn't care what anyone thought about her.

"Well there you go." Gina nodded to Andrew. "That means you have to accept me too. If your wife approves of me then so do you. That's the way marriage works." She said sticking her nose up at him.

"How would you know? You're the town's whore." He said seriously. She blinked at him and when he laughed she smacked his arm and pointed a finger at him.

"Just you remember that if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be married to this lovely creature." She said giving me a wink. He smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"You speak the truth dear cousin." He said looking at me. I felt my face heat up and looked away. I spotted Maria and Spencer coming out of the church and a huge smile broke out on my face.

"That is the couple I was telling you about." I whispered to Andrew.

"They're an interesting mix." He said taking in both of their ages.

"It's very common in their world." I said smiling as Maria looked over at me. "But they're so nice." She held her hands out to me and smiled brightly.

"You look beautiful." She kissed my cheek and hugged me. "This is the suitor I presume." She smiled at Andrew and kissed his cheek. "My name is Maria." She said to Andrew.

"This is Andrew, my…husband." I said the word and felt that pebble turn into a flat rock, perfect for skipping stones. Spencer smiled at me and kissed my cheek.

"Well Andrew it was a beautiful wedding." Maria said. "Christmas time too. What a romantic idea." Spencer snorted.

"She says that because we got married on Christmas day too." He said.

"Really?" I looked at her shocked.

"Six years ago." She said looking at him fondly.

"Well happy anniversary." Andrew said.

"I bet you'd rather be anywhere but here." I said and felt Andrew's eyes on me.

"I've told you before Susanna. I love these parties." Maria said. "This will be better then sitting at home exchanging gifts between the two of us." She said looking sad for a second. Spencer touched her arm gently and smiled.

"We'll let you get to the rest of your guests."

"Congratulations you two." We both nodded thanks and went on greeting guests. When I thought my fingers would fall off with the cold they guests disappeared and there was just our carriage waiting.

"Well my darling? Shall we go?" He looked at me and smiled.

"Yes please. I'm starving!" I said, smiling at the sound of his laughter.

The dinner came and went without a hitch. The barn proved to be the best place because it became very warm and could seat almost everyone. The children were the ones who were left standing, but a bunch of them climbed the hayloft and ate up there.

The dancing started after the food was cleared away and the tables were pushed back. Andrew and I danced first to a slow tune, which gradually picked up and soon we were dancing with everyone around us. I smiled at my guests and talked about everything. Women studied my ring, which was solid gold, while men talked about the house that we were going to live in.

After many cups of wine I felt over heated and excused myself. I stood out in the barn and welcomed the cool air on my sticky skin. The snow was falling gently and there was barely a sound. I sighed as I walked out in the snow enjoying the buzz in my head and the peace around me.

"Why did you marry him?" A raspy voice spoke from behind me. I turned around and saw Jesse leaning against the wall. His face was in shadows because it was dark, but I knew it was him.

"I'm sorry?" He stepped towards me and I could see him now.

"Why did you marry him? I know you don't love him."

"I-Well sometimes…love takes a while to grow." I said trying to remember what my father had said.

"Not love like ours."

"Love!" I laughed. "You don't love me. How can you possibly love me? You don't even know me." His face hardened.

"I know that I want you. I want to kiss you and feel you next to me." He said quietly.

"Yes well…"I coughed. "What's bothering you is that you want what you can't have."

"Don't mistake me for Adam. I am not a spoiled child who gets everything he wants." He said and I blinked at him.

"Maybe he does but you smile and every girl goes weak in the knees for you." I said. "I married Andrew because he is…the…he will be a good husband to me."

"I could be good to you." Jesse said, his face inches from mine. His breath smelt of wine and tobacco.

"It's too late." I whispered.

"No, it can never be too late." He said his lips inches from mine.

"Susanna? Are you…" I jumped back and looked at Andrew who had just walked out of the barn. A wind suddenly picked up and his long blonde hair whipped around his face. His eyes never left Jesse's face and his fists were clenched at his side. I coughed and moved towards him, but he never looked at me. Jesse bowed slightly and went into the barn.

"Andrew…" I touched his arm and his angry eyes flicked to mine. "It's not what you think." He studied my face, he shook his head and sighed. He touched my arm and kissed my head. Without another word he went back into the barn and left me in the snow.

The wedding seemed to go on for forever after that. Jesse and Adam left rather quickly and Andrew seemed to lighten up, but never talked to me. Instead he avoided me and danced with everyone else but me. I pushed aside the sobs that were building up and told myself that everything would be all right.

Just as I was drifting off Andrew grabbed my hand and led me out of the barn. The guests who were still awake or present cheered as we left. I was taken away so quickly that I never even said goodbye to my family. All I knew was that there was a bag of my clothes at my feet and we were waving goodbye to all of my guests. When the house disappeared I sank back in the seat and felt Andrew's tense body next to mine.

"Andrew? Are you mad at me?" My voice was no louder than a peep. He was quiet for a second, pretending to be concentrating on driving the horse, but then he sighed and his body deflated.

"You are my wife Susanna." He said.

"I know but…" He held up his hand and I stopped talking.

"You are my wife and I will not sit back and be made a fool by some rich, arrogant bastard." He snapped.

"I'm sorry. But nothing happened."

"Because I was there to save you." He said and I sighed. "I'm not mad at you, Susanna. I just…it just hurt." He looked at me and my heart broke for a second. I never wanted to hurt this man, which was partly the reason why I agreed to marry him in the first place.

"I'm sorry." I said looking down at my lap. His large hand grabbed mine and he brought it to his lips and kissed it gently. The rest of the ride was in silence.

When we got to Andrew's house it was dark and quiet. His house was smaller than mine. It was a tiny stone cottage with a hay and stick roof. It had three rooms, two bedrooms and a kitchen. But like other families in the winter everyone slept in the kitchen. He smiled at me and helped me down from the carriage before he led the horse to the barn. I stood looking at the small house and felt nervous. I clutched my bag tightly and wrapped the shawl around me.

"My mother is staying with my aunt for the week." He whispered. I let out a shaky breath and nodded. His hand grabbed mine and led me towards the house. The wooden door creaked open and we walked into the kitchen. It was a small room, with an iron stove in one corner and a large fireplace opposite to it. The room was dark and cold and the hay on the floor was crisp when we walked on it. Andrew lit the fire and the room brightened up. He looked at me and smiled.

"Are you hungry?"

"No." I whispered, and looked anywhere but at him. There was a painting on the wall but with the lighting and the poor condition of the painting I couldn't tell what it was. I was studying it, trying to get my mind off of what was going to happen when Andrew appeared in front of me.

"Susanna?" I looked at him and he gave me a worried expression. I smiled slightly and dropped my bag. He touched my face gently and kissed my lips. It was gentle at first, soft, careful but it only lasted a second before the kiss was heated and fierce. I wrapped my arms around him and he lifted me from the floor. We moved closer to the fire and lay down.

He lay above me and looked down at me. Something in his eyes were different than normal. They looked at me almost as if he wasn't seeing me. I brought my face up to his and kissed him. I felt his hands undoing my dress and then felt him kiss the bare skin on my shoulder as he worked the dress off of my body and threw it away. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable, as I lay there completely naked.

With one smooth motion his took off his tunic and threw it on top of my dress. His skin was as white as the snow and hard as a rock. His muscles were large due to all the work that he had to do, and I found myself kissing the muscles on his stomach. He shivered when I reached his belly button and I looked up at him. He kissed me deeply and his lips traveled down my neck to my breasts and back up again.

Before I knew it he slipped in side of me and there was a sharp pain. I froze and bit my lip. He knew something was wrong so he froze too. After a minute of just breathing I sighed and kissed him and he continued. The pain was bad but it seemed to leave my mind as a heat took over my body. It grew fast and spread through out my entire body until I was shivering and out of breath. Andrew collapsed on me and we lay their sweating and breathing heavily. He kissed my ribs and made his way up to my lips. His blonde hair was tangled from my hands and sticky from sweat. He smiled down at me and rolled off of me. A cold air hit my body and I shivered. I moved closer to him, out of instinct, and he laughed. As I rested my head against his chest, and listened to the sound of his heart beating, I realized that maybe one day I could love this man.