Disclaimer: All characters belong to DC, with the exception of Magda, Jim, and Danny. I thought it was time to throw in a little humor. Hope you like the Joke, I heard it over a decade ago. Now for most of this I can't take credit. I lifted some content, in shorthand, from The Killing Joke and Batman: The Man Who Laughs. I highly recommend reading both. Once again, a big chunk of content came from those comics. Enjoy!
The van came to a stop and she opened the back doors. "Honey we're home!" He paid no attention to her, and just made his way to the hideout. I slipped out the back, and followed everyone inside. While they wondered around the place, I snuck upstairs to change clothes. When I came back downstairs I noticed the Christmas tree Jim had brought was fully lit in the middle of the room. Harley was sitting front of it in admiring the lights and singing. Jim was behind the bar preparing drinks. The Joker was dressed in an ugly Christmas sweater and jeans sulking in the corner. I laughed to myself. The sweater must of been her idea.
I approached the bar and snatched a drink from the counter. Jim grabbed my hand. "No, no. None for you. I think you've had enough today." I flashed him the innocent eyes.
"But it's Christmas! Pretty please?" He let go of my hand and gave a growl.
"Sure kid. Drink till you get sick. Why should I care." I took my drink and sat on the stage located at the far end of the room. It wasn't big, and the wood was buckling from moisture. The red velvet curtains were bunched at each end of the stage, and in front of it were a few broken chairs that were leftover. I sipped my drink slowly and zoned out. I suddenly heard hands slap the top of the stage.
"Ok kid. You've made it this far. Tell me a joke." He raised an eyebrow and smiled.
I looked at him perplexed. "What?" I sat my drink down and he walked closer to me.
"Stand up in the middle there and tell me a joke." He took a seat in the front row and crossed his arms.
"I don't know any jokes." He started to get annoyed.
In a harsh tone, "If you're going to be a part of this family you need to show that you have a least a little humor in you. You'll make me look bad if you don't."
Nervously I stated, "Ok. I get it. This is one of those gun to your head scenarios. But not literally." I cocked my head to the side and shot him a half smile. " Please don't use that gun." This amused him a bit.
"We're gettin there kid. So tell me a joke." He rested his hand on his waist near the gun.
"Ok. Ok. There is this one joke." I cleared my throat. "There's a bar on top of a really high building and it's pretty windy outside. A guy walks in and has some drinks, and is there for a long time. Another guy comes and sits next to him. The first guy, who has been there for awhile looks at the man and says to him, "You know there is a nice breeze outside, and if you jump out it will blow you right back in." The second guy tells him to prove it. So the first guy jumps out the window and comes soaring back in. The second guy asks him to do it one more time. So, the first guy jumps out and the breeze carries him right back to the bar. At this point the second guy is starting to believe him and decides he needs to try this for himself. He pounds back his drink and jumps out the window." I take a dramatic pause. " falling to his death. The bartender turns to the first guy and says, "Superman, your an asshole when your drunk!" I finish waiting for any sort of reaction from the clown.
There was silence in the room, and then he started cackling loudy. He couldn't stop for a couple minutes which prompted Harley and Jim to come over wondering what was going on. I sat back down on the edge of the stage again and finished my drink feeling relieved. That was a close one. When he finally stopped laughing, he wiped a tear from his eye. "Ok. That was good. I think you'll fit in just fine!" After hearing that, Harley ran up on stage and hugged me, knocking the empty glass from my hand. Jim was quick enough to catch it, and shot me a stern look.
The Joker got up from his seat and stretched his legs. "Well I don't know about you, but I think I will head to bed early. We will have a busy day gathering goods and people tomorrow. Eight, thanks for the money, and I'll be sure to tell Crane "thank you" the next time I see him." He disappeared upstairs.
I jumped down from the stage and figured I'd turn in as well. Before my foot even hit the first step, Jim pulled me aside. "Did he say Crane? Dr. Crane?"
I couldn't look him in the eyes. "Yes. That Crane." I didn't want to hide anything from Jim so I just told him. "The short version is that I let him have a no-holds-barred session with me for twenty-four hours in exchange for the cash."
He looked at me stunned, "Good God kid! No wonder you were drinking. How the fuck did you survive?"
"A little luck, and I fully faced one of my fears. I may have been his first successfully treated patient. I'm not completely sure, but he seemed happy about it." His expression fell back to normal after hearing that.
"Well go get some sleep kid. I'll see you in the morning." He started shoving me up the stairwell. When I got to the room I collapsed onto the mattress. There was a cold breeze in the room. When I opened my eyes I saw a shadow move from the corner. I jumped up, and a black silhouette advanced towards me. Pure instinct made me put a hand on the top of my boot.
"I wouldn't do that." The gravelly voice warned. His gloved hand reached out and caught mine. I spread out my fingers and slowly put my hands up to let him know I wasn't going to fight him. I sat in silence.
"What have you been up too?" He demanded.
"Staying alive." I said while gritting through my teeth. "Why do you need my help again?"
He gave a low growl."Robin couldn't find you. He spent the whole night looking for you, even after I told him to leave you alone. Don't mess with that poor kid's head. Did you get him that money?"
"Yes I did, but it came at a price." I got up and went to the window. I rolled up my sleeves and put out my arms towards the moonlight. "Do you understand, Mr. World's greatest detective?" He came over and looked down. The bruising had spread from the injection sites. A patch three inches grew from either side showing hues of purple and yellow. My arms were sore and slightly swollen, but I had to bare it.
He growled, "But was it worth it?"
It took me awhile to speak. "I'm really not sure." I rolled my sleeves back down. He turned back towards the bed and took something out from underneath his cape. Tossing it on the bed he gave me a warning.
"This partnership ends now. Before you get in too deep, I suggest taking a look at those. Consider it a parting gift for your participation. It's a copy from my own personal collection." Before I could thank him he had disappeared. I closed the window,and got the flashlight out of my backpack. It was a case file.
The tab read: Jack Napier AKA The Joker.
Status: Deceased age 26.
Cause of death: Accidental Drowning.
Place of Death: Monarch Playing Card Company.
Occupation: Lab Assistant for A.C.E. Chemicals; One time gun for hire.
Background: Person(s) only known as "Jack" was a lab assistant for A.C.E. Chemicals for three years. Failed Comedian. Family consisting of pregnant wife only. Quit job for fast cash; hired to Maroni Crime Family. Reluctantly took alias of Red Hood as distraction in robbery of Monarch Playing Card Company. Upon arriving at the scene, multiple assailants with guns took fire. A scuffle ensued; "Jack" was pushed over balcony into vat of chemicals; Other assailants arrested. Jack's body was never recovered; ruled accidental drowning.
Additional notes: Three months later, investigation into a building filled with mutilated corpses, and each had died smiling. Later that night a news anchor parishes after uncontrollable fit of laughing on camera. Unknown person makes threat against Henry Claridge's life on camera. Gordon's men protect him but Clarridge parishes at his home suddenly, just like the news anchor. I ran a test on Claridge's blood. I was able to deduce that it was a time released poison that killed him. Unknown person once again makes an announcement over the television targeting Jay Wilde. I contact Gordon about the results and urge him to test Wilde's blood. Nothing came up.
The news had started naming the unknown person only as "The Joker". Just before midnight Joker infiltrated the estate with smoke bombs, and grazed Wilde with a poisoned bullet that killed him within minutes. Before fleeing the scene, I had planted a tracking device on him. The next day, this led me to an abandoned Survey and Planning building with old maps of the old reservoir bypass system strewn about. I did my own investigation during the day while in disguise. My reports led to ex employees of A.C.E. chemicals claiming to have patches of bleached skin, and one who was bold enough to stick a whole arm in a vat finding out his arm hair had turned green. Possible connection to Red Hood and The Joker.
Joker was ultimately going to poison Gotham's water supply. His plan was to punish the elite of Gotham who had contributed most to A.C.E., then take the whole city down with him. His level of intellect is genius, but what seems to drive him the most is hate. I foiled his plan, but since that day he has remained my greatest enemy. Nothing gets in his way, but I am convinced that I am his soul purpose for living. I made him by accident.
I was stunned. I couldn't hold into this file. If he found it, I'm not sure what would happen. Or do I confront him about it? Would he even be able to recall anything from his past? I decided to keep the file in my backpack until I could find a way to burn it. I put my flashlight away and tried to get some sleep. That didn't come easy. I had dreams about Zsasz, Crane, and Robin. I had to kill Zsasz or at least scare him away the next time I saw him. If Crane showed his face here, which was very likely, I would need to avoid him. As for Robin, I needed to find him somehow, and let him know I'm alright. There were things I needed to explain. To clear up.
AN: I hope I don't get too much hate mail for this, but I thought it was time to throw in an origin for Joker. Just so you know which one I'm using and why please google "Three Jokers". Because it's a crazy comic world. I hope you understand. Thanks for reading!
