Sorry for the delay, you guys - it's been CRAZY over here the last few days! Here's the next chapter. As always, thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited, and followed! You guys are the bomb!
Disclaimer: But Daaaad~
When Chekov drifts back into consciousness, he doesn't find Sulu by his bed. Instead, Cynthia is sitting there, reading a magazine and casually munching on a carrot. "Good morning!" she chirps when Chekov turns over.
"Where's Hikaru?" Chekov mumbles.
"Scotty dragged him out of the apartment. He needed fresh air." Cynthia puts her magazine down, although she takes a huge bite out of her carrot. "Sorry to disappoint you."
Chekov manages a small smile. "So why are you here?"
"Well, for one, Scotty and Sulu refused to leave you alone. They're like protective mama bears, the pair of them. For two, I thought that maybe we could carry on our conversations in your apartment. Maybe you'll be a little more at ease here." Cynthia cracks her knuckles. "Sorry for pushing you the other day, by the way."
"Don't be," Chekov says, staring at the ceiling. "Odds are I probably needed it."
"You did," Kirk says from the couch.
Chekov darts his captain a glance and Kirk just smirks at him.
"So I found these lying on the floor," Cynthia says, her tone businesslike. Chekov turns his head to see her holding the beige folder containing the Starfleet applications. "And I couldn't help but look at them-"
"Isn't that an invasion of privacy?"
"-and noticed that you hadn't filled these out at all," Cynthia continues, ignoring Chekov's weak protest. "Haven't changed your mind?"
"Not lately."
"Why not?"
"Because-" Chekov struggles for words, too tired to try and form coherent thoughts around the maelstrom swirling in his mind. "I just – there are too many memories there."
"Tell me about one of them."
"I don't-"
"It doesn't even have to be about the Enterprise," Cynthia says. "Just, you know, Starfleet. Or, okay. Let's start with something easier. Tell me about your favourite experience there."
"Tell her about that one time you single-handedly came up with a plan to save us all from the Romulans," Kirk says, staring at the ceiling. Chekov ignores him.
"I'm really tired," Chekov says. "I'm sorry. Do we have to do this now?"
Cynthia sighs. "No. I guess we don't have to."
"Sorry," Chekov mumbles, feeling a little bit guilty. Then an idea pops into his head, somehow managing to struggle through the fog. Glancing around the apartment, his eyes finally land on the screen lying on top of yesterday's newspapers. "Can you get me that screen?" he asks, pointing.
"Sure. Is something important on it?"
"Just a few photos." Chekov turns it on and flicks through it. The hologram pops up, revolving in the darkened room, and Chekov feels the now familiar ache in his chest. "Didn't you want to know about my favourite memory?"
"I thought we weren't talking about that."
"Do you want to talk about it or not?" Chekov asks. Somehow, the drowsiness doesn't seem to make it sound as sharp as he intended it to be.
Cynthia shrugs, though her expression is interested. "Only if you're comfortable, Pavel." She peers at the picture, watching as it revolves slowly in the air. "Who are these people?"
"My family," Chekov says simply.
"Sure looks like it." Cynthia points at Sulu and Scotty. "So apart from these two – who are the rest of them?"
"That's Captain Jim Kirk and Chief Medical Officer Leonard McCoy," Chekov says, pointing to the back. "And this Vulcan right here, that's Commander Spock, and his girlfriend, Nyota Uhura." It feels strange to call them all by their formal name, Chekov thinks, and even stranger to hear their names coming from his mouth. He's long since stopped vocalizing their names in the hopes that they'll come back.
"I thought Vulcans weren't capable of feeling emotions," Cynthia says, finger resting on Spock's face.
Kirk snorts from the couch.
"Commander Spock was different," Chekov explains. "He's half-human, so he had emotions. I mean, they all do, but…"
He thinks back to the times Spock had openly showed emotion. Once, on the bridge when Kirk had agitated him. Another time, down in the engineering room when Kirk had sacrificed himself. The last time he had showed a semblance of emotion was in a bar on Tu'van. Spock was the last crew member to ever openly show affection towards Chekov, but he was also the person who had possibly shown the most interest in Chekov's theories and notes.
Everyone else had a tendency to treat Chekov as a kid; Spock was the only one who took Chekov seriously. Chekov appreciated that about him.
"You miss him," Cynthia says matter-of-factly.
"Well, yeah. I miss all of them." Chekov frowns.
"Such a human sentiment," Spock mutters from where he's materialized next to Kirk.
"Shut up, Spock, he's being nice to you. I certainly wouldn't be." Kirk folds his arms. "Tell her about Uhura," he urges Chekov.
"This is Uhura," Chekov explains, moving his finger to Uhura's smile. "She was in charge of all communications on the ship and was top of her field in linguistics. She was also only a cadet when we served on the Enterprise."
"I'm sensing a theme here," Cynthia remarks wryly. "What was she to you?"
Chekov darts a glance to her, startled, but Cynthia makes no move to explain herself.
"I believe, Mr. Chekov," Spock says, "that Dr. Riley is asking you what special relationship you may have had with Nyota."
"She was a friend," Chekov says, thoroughly confused as to whether he's speaking to Spock or Cynthia now.
"Like a sister?" Cynthia probes.
"Something like that."
Cynthia raises an eyebrow but makes no comment. "Okay. What about these two gentlemen arguing in the back here?"
Kirk hoots. "Gentlemen! She wouldn't be saying that if she knew you, Bones-"
Chekov doesn't even have to look to know that Bones has appeared. "Shut up, Jim," Bones hisses. Chekov wonders, not for the first time, why his ghosts are so realistic and true to life.
"Pavel?" Cynthia probes.
"Sorry." He yawns to cover up his straying attention. "That's what they do all the time. They argue."
"It's just so much fun winding Bones up," Kirk says cheekily.
"If you weren't dead, Jim, I'd stab you with a hypospray."
"Ooooo, violent even in the afterlife-"
"I take it he was highly strung," Cynthia comments, unaware of the ghostly bickering going on behind her.
Chekov can't help but smile at the memory of Bones almost bursting a vein screaming at Sulu and Kirk in the med bay. "Yeah. Doctor McCoy was the sort of man that you knew would always be there for you – unless you stole his food or something."
"Great description," Bones says dryly.
"Quite accurate, Mr. Chekov," Spock agrees.
"What about your captain? He looks like a nice man," Cynthia says, leaning closer and enlarging the picture to focus on Kirk's face. "Dependable."
"He was," Chekov says, and for the first time all conversation, his ghosts say nothing. But something catches in Chekov's throat, and he looks up at the ceiling, blinking away the tears.
Cynthia tears her attention away from the screen to look at her distressed client. "Why are you crying?" she asks gently.
"Because," Chekov says, taking in a shuddering breath, "because – I don't know. He was…"
Cynthia just waits.
"Jim Kirk was the kind of man who you thought could never die." Chekov looks down at his hands. "He made a promise that day the Enterprise blew up. He said he'd be there when I got back, and I just believed him, because he isn't supposed to die and – I don't actually know. I wish I had. Known, that is."
"Would you have stayed?" Cynthia asks.
"I would have."
"Aw, hell-" Kirk is by the foot of Chekov's bed now, guilt on his face. "Pavel, I'm sorry."
"It was the one promise he never kept," Chekov says quietly, staring right at Kirk, not so much an accusation as a blank statement – you left me alone here and this is what's happened.
There's silence in the room as Chekov wrestles with his ghosts and Cynthia sits waiting for him to say more. When Chekov says nothing further, she takes a deep breath. "Pavel, I just want to say thank you for sharing this piece of your life with me. I know it must have been hard."
Chekov closes his eyes to stem the tide for a moment. When he opens them again, Kirk, Bones and Spock are gone again, and he can't tell if he feels relief or overwhelming sadness. "Will it help?" he asks in a small voice.
"Well-" Cynthia hesitates. "I'll be quite honest with you, Pavel. Most times it does. Sometimes I wish there were better results." She takes his hand in hers for a moment. "But the important thing is that you didn't shut yourself off again. It's a step in the right direction." She watches Chekov yawn, for real this time, and smiles. "Tired?"
"Just a little," Chekov mumbles, eyes already drifting shut.
"Sleep tight, darling." He feels her pull the blanket further up his body towards his shoulders before hearing her footsteps pad away.
Mama!Cynthia makes me smile.
Much love,
ohlookrandom
