One night I woke up to the sound of Lucan's frantic barks. He jumped up on the door, his rapidly growing body reaching the door latch. He scratched his nails down the door making an even louder sound.
"Lucan, be quiet!" I said throwing the blankets back with frustration. I opened the door and he bolted out of the room. Thinking that he had to pee I followed him. When I went into the kitchen I noticed that David's pillows and blankets were still on the floor, messy but he wasn't there. A quick burst of panic went through my body and I raced to the door. When I opened it Lucan raced out into the dark.
"David?" I called and there was no answer. Lucan's bark came from the barn and I noticed the light emitting from in between the barn doors. I rubbed my arms as I walked towards the barn. The cool breeze went through the nightgown hitting my skin, giving me goose bumps and the frosted grass crunch beneath my bare feet.
At the door to the barn, I could hear Lucan panting and the eerie sound of all the quiet animals. There was a loud groan and then heavy panting. I stepped into the warm barn and looked around. I spotted an open stall at the end of the barn and headed in that direction. When I reached the stall I froze.
"Wh-What's wrong with her?" I asked looking at the cow, who lay on the fresh hay and David who crouched down beside her. David jumped and looked up at me with tired eyes.
"She's in the labour stages now." He said turning back to the calf and watched as its stomach rippled.
They say that birth is the most beautiful thing, but when you see it first hand you wonder what type of mental state those people were who said it was beautiful. The beauty was not in the actual animal being born, it was how the cow sat silently, staring straight at the wall of the barn, concentrating on getting her baby out and into the world.
It was a long process of waiting. David said we could do nothing to help her, even as the calf's head sat hanging out of its mother's body for three minutes. I tried hard not to vomit as the hay became covered with blood and embryonic fluid. Lucan lay on the floor behind me and the animals all stood in their pens, silent as if giving respect to the suffering mother. I was vaguely aware of David coaching the cow along.
Finally the mother gave one last groan and the tiny calf slipped out. It shook its ears as if it had been sprayed with water and the mother stood up as if nothing had happened. She went to her baby and stood over it licking clean.
The little calf was a soft brown, the colour of fresh brown sugar, and blinked its eyes looking around at its surroundings. The mother gently licked its face and cleared away some of the fluid and hay stuck to the baby's face. The baby looked around the barn, blinking at David and then at me. Its ear gave a little wave when the mother moved onto cleaning its back.
David sat patiently against the pen wall and watched. I sat beside him and he rested his head on my shoulder.
"How did you know this was happening?" I asked him.
"I have been watching her." He said. "Papa told me that when she starts to pull away from the crowd and section off a small corner then she is getting ready for labour. So when she went and lay down at the edge of the field I realized what was happening. But she never had the calf. She just lay there and went to sleep. So last night I left the window opened and when I heard the a groan from the barn I jumped up and raced out here."
"But why?" I asked, seeing his tired young eyes. "You didn't have to do anything."
"Papa said it's better if I was there, to help if it was needed." He said and yawned. "Look." He said his head jolting up. As my eyes flicked to the baby I saw the mother nudge its bottom with her nose telling it to get up. It moved its legs in the hay. It's tiny, thin legs slowly tried to find the ground and within two seconds it was up on its feet. Its legs were too shaky and it fell back down, but its mother coaxed it with a quick nudge and the baby tried again. After three attempts the calf stumbled around the pen and finally found it's mothers milk. David and I sat in awe of this baby, where an hour ago it was inside of its mother and now was walking around.
"Amazing huh?" David said and stood up.
"Wait. You're leaving?" I asked and he smiled down at me as if I was the 12 year old.
"There's nothing us for us to do." He smiled at the mother and baby. "Our job is done."
"Easiest job in the world. I said getting to my feet." The cow blinked at me and I studied its face.
"Come on Susanna. We'll have to get up in a few hours." He said mimicking Papa's voice. I smiled and shook my head.
"You sound just like him." I said and he grinned proudly as we walked back to the house with Lucan at our heels.
I found that I couldn't sleep after watching the calf being born. I tossed and turned, disturbing Lucan's peaceful slumber, but I couldn't welcome sleep. The whole thing had excited me and all I wanted to do was check on the new calf. Papa had never let me help with things like that and we only had one calf when I was a child. David and I had called him Theodorus. Debbie had told us of this man. Theodorus of Cyrene who studied mathematics. As she started explaining it to us we lost interest and laughed at the name. When we saw the new cow stumble around the field we laughed and David said he was Theodorus, the stumbling mathematician. At 13 and eight it was very funny. Papa sold the calf three weeks later and David and I never named another cow.
When the sun came up I jumped out of bed. I quickly changed from my nightgown to my old brown dress and tied my hair back into my cap. I opened the wooden shutters and the sun poured into my room. The air was cool but it smelt of new grass and fresh leaves. I quickly tidied my bed and went out into the kitchen to start breakfast. David snored softly beside the dull fire and I quietly went around the kitchen so that I didn't wake him.
When mother came into the kitchen she had a mean snarl on her face. "What was all that ruckus last night?" She snapped looking at Lucan with fury, yet gently petting his head.
"We have a new calf." I said smiling. She nodded and the fury faded from her face. She smiled at the dog and then spotted David sleeping on the floor.
"What's he still doing asleep?" She said louder.
"I'm letting him sleep because he was up late last night." I said and when she opened her mouth I grabbed the mucking boots. "I'm going to get milk. Let him sleep." I ordered and left the house. I slipped the boots on and grabbed the clean tin bucket used for collecting milk that hung on the wall.
I went into the first pen and patted the black and white spotted cow before I sat down on a small wooden stool and started milking the cow. There is something so soothing about milking a cow, about feeling the warm skin and hearing the sounds of the hot milk filling the bucket. When the bucket was half full I patted her neck and left the pen. I stopped at pen with the new calf and smiled as it lay sleeping beside its mother.
David awoke at the smell of sizzling bacon and smiled brightly when I told him that I already got milk. As we sat around eating I watched David and thought of how much I didn't know that he did know. When the plates were empty and everyone was drinking their cups of tea I sighed.
"There are going to be some changes." I said looking at mother, because she was the one who would fight me.
"Changes?" She asked, looking at me with a cold expression.
"Yes. I am going to start helping the boys with the field work." I said and watched as Mother looked at me horrified.
"You don't have to Susanna." David said. "John and I can manage."
"I know you can David, but I can't expect you to live here forever. And this way I'll get out of the house more."
"But what about the cooking and washing?" Mother asked. "You're not expecting an old, frail woman like me to do it are you?"
"Yes I am." I said with a shrug and crossed my arms. I could see David's shocked face in the corner of my eye but I focused only on Mother's panicked, angry face.
"I wont do it." She said stubbornly.
"Yes you will." I said raising my eyebrows at her.
"Don't you tell me what to do? This is my house."
"Technically it is my house." I said and she stared at me shaking with anger. I turned to David and smiled. "Can you excuse us please David?" He nodded and practically ran out of the house. I leaned forward and clasped my shaking hands on the table. "Mother, since I have moved in you have done nothing but sleep and complain about how I do things wrong. And I don't mind it. But as a child you were always the tough, strong woman who no one wanted to cross or get in your way. You loved cooking and cleaning and complaining about how much work there was for you to do." Mother looked away and I knew I was winning. "Having something to do will be good for you." When she met my eyes there was a tear on her cheek.
"I cant Susanna."
"Why not mother? What are you living for right now?" I asked sounding more harsh than I wanted.
"I-I-I don't want to talk about this anymore." She said rising from the table.
"Nora, I'm serious." At the sound of her name she stared at me shocked. "You are sad, depressed, and angry and you need to find something that will make you happy again."
"I- I don't want to be happy." She said tears pouring down her face. I sighed and watched this poor woman, crumble with grief. I wrapped my arms around her and was surprised when she held on to me tightly.
"It's going to be ok." I said and she took a deep breath and let go of me. She looked at the dishes and sighed.
"Well if you're a field hand now, why are you still in the kitchen?" She snapped and started collecting the plates. I smiled and kissed her cheek before dashing out of the house.
"You're alive!" David said smiling at me as he mucked the stall of our horse.
"Of course." I said and noticed John checking out the new calf.
"So what do you think?" I said leaning against the door to the pen. John jumped and smiled.
"She's cute. An unusual colour, seeing as the rest of your cows are black and white." He said studying the other three cows. I nodded and looked at the baby, she stared at us with bright blue eyes and her ears wiggled. She got up on shaky legs and came towards us, nervous yet curious. I stuck out my hand and she looked at it before she pushed her nose against my hand and let out a breath. My hand was soaked and I cringed as I wiped it on my dress. John laughed and I smiled and shook my head patting the small calf's head. It gave a quick squeal and happily skipped back to its tired mother.
"Well let's get these ladies out into the fields." I said and John nodded. He opened up the pens and allowed the three sheep, 5 cows and one horse to wander out of the barn slowly, blinking at the bright sunlight.
Two weeks later I woke up to the sound of Lucan scratching at my door and the smell of sausages. I looked at the pair of working pants that I had bought in town, telling the woman they were for my husband. I studied the way the worked and slipped them on tossing my nightgown onto the bed. I grabbed one of Andrew's old white shirts and slipped it over my head. I tied my hair into a bun and grabbed Andrew's old cap before I left the room. The look on mother's face when she saw me made a laugh burst out of my lips.
"What are you wearing?" She asked and David shook his head. He knew that I had bought the pants and we had laughed about it yesterday.
"Working in a dress is hard, so I bought working pants." She stared at me with a horrified expression.
"What will people think?" She said shaking her head and placing the plates on the table.
"They'll think that we've another hired hand." David said. "Or that Susanna has gone mental." He said and dodged the swat that I had aimed for his head.
"Besides who is going to see? I'm not about to go parading around wearing this outfit." Mother sighed and shook her head.
"I don't like it, but I guess if it's easier to work in…" I smiled triumphantly at David and he chuckled. I looked around the room as I ate my breakfast and noticed that it was brighter. Then I noticed that the wooden shutters had been opened and the sun, as opposed to the fire, was lighting the room. I smiled at my plate and mother noticed me.
"What? Why are you smirking in such a way?"
"It's nothing." I said and took a mouthful of scrambled eggs. Though this hadn't been what I had imagined my life would be like, I found that I enjoyed it more and more with each day. Little did I know that this life, the calm, quiet farm life was not going to last very much longer.
That after noon was the hottest yet, and by lunchtime the boys and I were sweating. We walked down to the creek and drank from the cold stream. We fed the animals and mucked the stalls and by mid afternoon I noticed how exhausting working in the fields actually was.
As the boys were gathering the bundles of hay, I headed to the house to check on mother. I wiped my hands on my pants and whistled as I walked around the side of the house. I stopped when I saw the buggy in front of my house. It was a dark carriage, with soft blue curtains in the windows and beautiful brown horses at the front. I patted them gently and looked at the half open front door.
I crept up to the house and listened. The voices coming from inside were muffled and I would've gotten away had it not been for David who shouted my name and asked who was here.
"Susanna. There you are." Mother said appearing at the door. She eyed me carefully and opened the door for you. "We have visitors." She said. I smiled and walked into the room.
"Maria!" I said grinning as her blue eyes met mine. She smiled at me and wrapped me in a tight embrace. I laughed and looked at my friend. "How are you?"
"Well…thank you." She looked at my outfit and chuckled. "A new trend?" I looked down and blushed.
"I've decided to learn more about field work."
"Why am I not surprised?" She said grinning.
"Come, sit." I said, sitting at the table. Mother placed two wooden mugs on the table and muttered something about filling the kettle before leaving the house. "So what brings you to Worchester?"
"I…well…I came to visit with you of course." She said, smiling brightly.
"I sense that there is something else." I said and she smiled.
"No. To be honest I was coming to check on you. To see how you were…handling everything." She blushed and I patted her hand.
"Things are getting back on their feet." I said.
"I can see that." She chuckled. "You look happy."
"As I can be." I said with a shrug and grabbed the plate of fresh scones that were on the counter top. I offered one to Maria and then took one. "So how is Spencer?"
"He's doing well. He's taken to dog training."
"Dog training?" I said and laughed. "I can actually imagine him doing that." She smiled and rolled her eyes.
"It keeps him busy, but it means that we've got three more dogs, on top of the six we've already got." She said and I laughed.
"My goodness you must have a full house." I said and she smiled sadly.
"It's actually pretty empty." She mumbled and I couldn't think of anything to say. "We were wondering if you would come and stay with us." She said her face brightening.
"Stay with you?"
"For a visit." She said, her eyes hopeful.
"I…" I looked around the house. I could use a little break I suppose. "I would love to!" I said smiling.
"Wonderful." She said clapping her hands together. "We were hoping you would want to stay for till Spencer's birthday."
"His birthday?"
"He will be 50." She said grinning. "And I am hosting a large party at the end of the month to celebrate."
"I would love to. When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow." I blanked and studied her.
"To-Tomorrow?"
"Is that a problem?" She frowned.
"No of course not. I-I just have to get things sorted."
"Wonderful!" She said clapping her hands again and I noticed a slight falter in her smile. I thought of this for a moment and then pushed it out of my head. This little trip would be fun for me.
The day came with such a speed that I hadn't even had time to think about the time. Mother had insisted that she would be able to manage everything with David and John's help. Lucan had known something was going on because he barely left my side and as I was packing all of Gina's dresses into a trunk he kept stealing them out of the trunk and running around the house with them. I finally locked him out of my room and was able to have everything ready by lunchtime.
"Are you sure you will be alright?' I asked Mother as I slipped my traveling cloak over my brown dress.
"Yes Susanna." She smiled and kissed my cheek.
"When you said changes I never thought they would be this drastic." David teased and I frowned.
"I can stay if you want."
"No. I was kidding." He kissed my cheek and nodded. "You'll have fun."
"Have you got everything?" Mother asked me passing my coin purse to me.
"Yes I think so." I said looking around the house.
"We can just get it at town if you have left anything behind." Maria said as she left the house. She stopped in the doorway and started laughing.
"What is it?" I asked.
"It looks like someone wants to come along." She said pointing to the carriage. Lucan sat tall and proud in the doorway of the buggy, as if to say that we weren't leaving without him.
"Lucan out." I said and when he didn't budge I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him out of carriage. He looked at me with sad eyes and my heart slightly broke. I told myself to not be stupid; he's just a dog. I kissed Mother and David again before I climbed into the buggy. As Maria was about to climb in I watched Lucan jump up onto the wooden bench beside the driver.
"Lucan!" David and I scolded. His ears went back, but he stared straight ahead pretending he didn't hear us.
"Stubborn." I said shaking his head.
"Persistent." Mother said. "Like the knight."
"We should've called him dog." I said grumbling as I got out of the buggy.
"Maybe he can tag along." Maria said. "Unless you need him here."
"No, we managed before without a dog." David said.
"Well let's bring him then. Spencer will love him." She said. I looked up at the dog, who was now wagging his tail and panting happily at his victory. He blinked at me as if to say, "you are not going anywhere without me". I sighed and pointed my finger at him.
"Fine, but your staying up there." I said and he barked. The driver smirked and patted the dog on the head. I waved to my family as the buggy drove away. I let out a sigh and sat back.
"Nervous?" Maria asked beside me.
"Yes, but I'm not sure why." She was quiet for a second and then patted my hand.
"It's a new adventure." She said and fell quiet as she watched the world pass by.
After an hour of travel I fell asleep. The night before I had not slept well and sleep took over when I had relaxed to the rhythm of the buggy along the dirt road. I dreamt of Lucan at the ocean, splashing in the waves and chasing the birds. I was sitting on the beach in a light pink dress with the checkered blanket beneath me and a large white hat on my head as I drew the image in front of me with a stick of charcoal and fresh parchment.
A noise made me look up and a figure was walking towards me. He was wearing white and his dark hair whipped in the wind. Then in the other direction another figure approached, but he wore black. There was something powerful in the way this man walked as apposed to the man in white. I studied the two of them and felt butterflies in my stomach. Lucan's bark startled me and I watched as he raced to the man in white. He stopped and bent down, patting the dog's head in a loving way. Then Lucan spotted the man in black and growled. The man froze and studied the dog. He decided that the dog was not dangerous and moved towards me. Then out of nowhere Lucan jumped and attacked him. I heard the man scream in agony as Lucan bit at his arms, his legs, his face.
"Lucan!" I screamed and then felt a hand on my arm. I looked down at the long dark fingers and felt the warmth radiate through my body. As I looked up at his face I was met with two dark blue eyes.
"Susanna?" he said but his voice was a woman's voice. I studied him and then watched as his face transformed into Maria's. "Susanna? Are you alright?"
"It was a dream." I said, blinking and wiping my face. The world was dark around us.
"We're here." She said smiling brightly. "Just in time for dinner." I looked out the window and blinked. As we drove down the dirt road I studied the open land. Tall green shrubs hid the garden from sight and surrounded the right side of the house where as tall evergreen trees stood on the left side. The dirt driveway ended in a large circle at the front of the house. As I got out of the buggy I looked up and stared in awe.
The house stood in an l-shape and had grey rock walls and tall brown windows. The front of the house was curved to outline driveway. There was a large archway that led inside of the house. Two young boys, dressed in the same bright blue outfit that the driver was wearing, met us. They grabbed the trunks from the back of the cart and carried them into the house. Next we were bombarded with a bunch of different dogs. They surrounded our legs and licked at our hands. Lucan went mental with excitement. He jumped off of the bench and started interacting with the other dogs.
"Dogs!" A loud voice rang out then a whistle. The dogs all stopped what they were doing and lay down. I stared in awe and Lucan looked at the other dogs as if they were weird specimens. Spencer appeared and looked proudly at his dogs. "Susanna." He said holding out his arms. I smiled and went into them, inhaling the scent of apples.
"How are you?" I asked.
"Wonderful." He beamed. I noticed that his cheeks were getting fuller and his eyes seemed brighter. He kissed his wife's cheek and spotted Lucan. "Is he yours?"
"Unfortunately yes." I said watching as Lucan crouched down in front of a large black dog, waiting for him to play.
"Beautiful breed. Very protective." He said patting Lucan's head.
"Yes, he insisted on coming." I said and we laughed.
"Come Susanna. I'll show you around the house." Maria said with excitement.
We walked into the archway and through two solid wood doors that had flowers carved into the door. The first thing I noticed was how high the ceilings were. They were at least 25 ft tall and the walls were a warm yellow. The floors were solid oak, with a long red carpet that went down a long hallway. The hallway had a small door at the end that led out to the garden. Along the right side of the hallway were two sets of doors. The first set were open and led into a sitting room with the same high ceilings. There was a bookshelf along wall with a small white chair for reading. Along the far wall was a fireplace with a white love seat and two white armchairs. On the floor was a skin rug and hanging dark paneled walls were 13 different deer heads.
The next set of doors was the dinning room doors. It too had dark paneled walls and tall windows. This room had a golden chandelier with twelve candles that hung over a long dark table. The table could seat 10 people and had a large vase of different coloured flowers on the table. There was a tiny wooden door that led into the kitchen.
On the left side of the hallway were 5 doors. Double doors led into the master bedroom, where Maria and Spencer slept together. The door next to them was the bathroom, where a large tub was placed in the middle of a bright room. The walls were a pale blue colour and the floor was a white marble. There shelves among shelves of towels, bath salts and soaps. The next door was locked and Maria completely passed by it without even looking at it.
My room was at the end of the hallway and when the door opened it smelled of flowers. The walls were a bright yellow and the ceiling was low. There was a large bed against the interior wall. It had white sheets with a yellow quilt that hung at the foot of the bed. The windows went from floor to ceiling, but only the top half opened out and golden drapes hung against the windows. There was a large empty wardrobe on the far wall and a matching writing desk in between the two large windows. There was a washbasin with a porcelain jug, basin and yellow cloth on a table by the door.
"I hope this will be enough space for you?" Maria said looking around the room with a frown.
"It's beautiful!" I said with a bright smile. "Thank you."
"I'm so glad that you are here Susanna." She said and the smile on her face told me that she was being honest.
"So hope you are hungry! Because we've got quite the feast for you." Spencer said with a chuckle.
"We'll let you get settled in call when supper's ready." Maria said and closed the door behind her. I looked at the room again and sighed. Lucan barked and jumped up on the bed.
"I don't think so mister." I said pointing at the floor. His ears went back and he grunted before getting off of the bed. He groaned as he lay on the floor and stared at me with sad eyes. I sat down on the bed and sank into the feather mattress. I laid back and instantly felt relaxed. I had to admit that this bed was more comfortable than the ones at the palace. Despite my worry about David and Mother I lay on the bed thinking this was going to be the best month of my life.
