Being There
Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.
A/N-thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I really appreciate all of your support. Sorry for the cliffie on the last chapter...
Part Thirty Nine
"Paul's looking after the garage while I'm here with you." Jacob told Bella as he held her hand against his cheek. "He dumped that Dee chick but I'm sure it won't be long before he finds someone else. You know what Lahote's like. Lee will be along later, she told me to demand that you wake up, she's had enough of you playing the sleeping beauty."
Jacob stopped talking as he studied Bella closely. He was sure he had seen her lips twitch when he mentioned what Leah had said. He gently touched her cheek. "Bells." He whispered her name. "Wake up honey, please." There was nothing, not a flicker. His head dropped into his hands as despair kicked in again. She had been like this for two whole days.
There was a knock on the door and Billy opened it; he wheeled his chair easily into the room, a tray of food perched on his lap. "Hey son. I've brought you some food."
"I'm not hungry, dad." Jacob said irritably.
"You have to keep up your strength, when Bella wakes she will need all the help she can get with your son." Billy rolled his chair next to Jacob.
"How is he?" Jacob asked, he had only seen his newborn son on a handful of occasions. He had hardly left Bella's side since she had been admitted to hospital.
"Thriving. He's taken to the bottle quite well. Kept Charlie and Renee up half the night. He's got a good pair of lungs on him." Billy gave him a small smile.
"Bells wanted to breast feed him. That's not going to happen now. Just something else that's been taken away from her." Jacob said bitterly.
Billy put a hand on his son's shoulder. "You can't think like that, Jake."
Jacob turned to look at his dad and Billy was shocked to see the utter defeat in his eyes. "I can't take it anymore, dad. Each hour that passes it just gets worse. What if she never wakes up? I can't live without her."
Billy was taken back to the time he had uttered the same words after he had lost Sarah. The thought that Jacob would have to suffer the same loneliness and loss tore at his heart. "If it comes to that you just have no choice, Jake. You have a son who needs at least one of his parents. It will be hard but you have a lot of support. Bella would want you to be strong and live your life, even if it means without her."
"I am not you. I mean it, I can't live without her. I don't want to." Jacob's eyes blazed as he spoke.
Billy became angry at his son's proclamation. "What do you intend to do? Kill yourself? Is that the boy that Bella fell in love with. She would be ashamed to hear you speak like that." He yelled.
"You don't know how it feels." Jacob retorted. "It hurts so fucking much. What use am I? Both times when she really needed me I failed to save her."
Billy gripped his son's shoulder tighter. "You never failed her, Jake. I do know how you feel, I was the same after I lost your mother."
"It hurts so bad, I feel like I can't breathe." Jacob hung his head and wiped his face as tears of frustration ran down his cheeks.
"I know son. I know." Billy said sadly.
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"Hey baby girl." Renee whispered as she pushed her wheelchair over to Bella's bed. Jacob had finally left to freshen up, giving Renee some alone time with her daughter.
There was no response just the incessant beeps of the machines which were continuously monitoring Bella's vital signs. Renee stroked Bella's hair back off of her forehead. "I need to tell you something, sweetie. Something I should have told you every day of your life. I love you, baby girl. I am and always will be proud of you. Can you hear me, Bella? Please tell me you can hear me?"
All that greeted Renee was silence, she stared sorrowfully at her only child and began to weep; regret about all the lost opportunities where she could have been there for Bella swam around in her head. "I'm sorry I was a selfish mother, baby girl. But I promise if you just wake up I will make it up to you a hundred times over." She vowed.
Renee held her daughter's hand and watched as Bella's chest rose and fell with each breath that she took. Leaning close she whispered in her ear. "I will look after your son, sweetie as if he were my own. I will help Jake in any way I can." She lay her head next to Bella's and closed her eyes.
XXXXXX
Much later Jacob was woken up by the door to Bella's private room being opened once again. The last batch of visitors had left an hour ago and he wasn't expecting anybody else. He had fallen asleep as he sat in the uncomfortable chair by her bed.
"Hey Jake." Embry slipped into the room. "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you." He apologised when he saw Jacob's weary eyes.
"That's okay. I wasn't expecting anyone. Come in." Jacob gestured for his friend to pull up one of the other chairs.
Embry sat down and his eyes wandered over to Bella lying comatose in the huge hospital bed. "She looks like she's just sleeping."
"Yeah." Jacob sighed. "I keep telling her nap time is over and she needs to wake up now, but she refuses to listen."
"It's good that she has a private room." Embry looked around the cheerfully painted room, with it's large window with the view of the hospital gardens.
"Paid for by the Cullens." Jacob said bitterly.
"You can't think that way, Jake." Embry admonished him. "It's better for Bella that she has the best care no matter who pays for it."
"I know. I'm just really worn out, Em. Sorry." Jacob ran a hand over his face.
"Why don't you get out of here for a while?" Embry suggested.
"I can't leave her." Jacob glanced at Bella, his hand automatically reaching for hers.
"I'll sit with her. Just go out for a walk or something. Go on. I'll come and get you if she wakes."
"Are you sure?" Jacob kissed the back of Bella's hand. "I won't be long, honey."
"Go." Embry urged. Jacob finally got up and with many a backward glance left the room.
When he was sure his friend was gone, Embry switched chairs and took Bella's hand. He watched her for a few seconds as she breathed. She really did look like she had just laid down to take a nap. Bella's face looked serene, her long eyelashes casting shadows across her cheeks. Her long hair had been undone and was lying in glossy waves around her. Embry thought she looked beautiful.
"I need to tell you something." He finally spoke. "I could never ever tell you while you were awake. I've been thinking about going away, Bella. It's become too hard being around you and Jake and trying to hide how I feel..."
Embry stopped speaking and tore his eyes away from her face. He focused on their joined hands instead. "You won't remember our first meeting, but I do. It was in the garage. You and Jake were working on the bikes and Quil and I came to visit. Quil tried to flirt with you and that really annoyed me. It pissed off Jake too. I could see it then in his eyes how much he had fallen for you. I never stood a chance."
The beep of the heart monitor skipped a beat and Embry gazed at it anxiously until it returned to it's normal rhythm. He gripped Bella's limp hand tighter and continued talking; needing to get his feelings out into the open, even though she couldn't hear him. "I never forgot that first meeting between us or you. I've managed to hide how I feel about you, no one knows and will never know. I'm glad that you and Jake are happy and have a son. But if this is my only chance to say it then..." he raised his eyes back to her face and his heart stuttered in his chest. Bella's eyes were open and looking straight back at him.
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"Bella?" Embry leaned close as she continued to stare at him. "Are you okay?"
"Jake," Bella's voice was hoarse and her eyes flicked to the jug of water by her bedside. Embry immediately poured a glass and helped her up so that she could take a sip.
"You want me to get, Jake?" He asked. Bella nodded before turning her head away from him.
Embry stood and walked over to the door. Before he left he turned back to look at her. "Bella, did you hear what I said?"
Bella sighed and moved her head to glance at him, her eyes wary. "I never heard a thing." Her voice was a throaty whisper; but her words full of meaning.
Embry held her gaze for a moment before nodding. "Right. I'll just go and get Jake."
Bella nodded and watched as he finally left the room. She stared up at the white hospital ceiling, the strip lights hurting her eyes. All she wanted was Jake and her baby. A tear rolled down her cheek as she realised that she didn't even know whether she had a boy or a girl.
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Three hours later and Bella was sitting up in her bed surrounded by her family. Jacob had nearly taken the door off of it's hinges when Embry told him she was awake. He cursed the fact that he had left her and missed the moment when she first opened her eyes. But as soon as he gathered her in his arms and she whispered his name, all was right with his world. He had so much to tell her, first being that she was now a mother to a healthy baby boy.
The second part was not so easy. Haltingly he told her about Carlisle and his role in saving her life. Bella had been stunned to hear this revelation and, after processing it for a moment, she dismissed it from her mind to be dealt with later. She had more important things to focus on, like seeing her son. While she was being assessed by the Doctor on duty, Jacob used the opportunity to call Charlie, Renee and then his dad. Embry seemed to have disappeared, but Jacob soon forgot about his missing friend as all his attention was focused on Bella.
It wasn't long before Charlie and Renee arrived at the hospital with the baby. They went straight to Bella's room and enjoyed an emotional reunion. Jacob placed his son in Bella's arms and she cuddled the infant to her, tears rolling down her face as she gazed upon his sweet face, so much like Jacob's. Billy had arrived soon after; Harry had brought him. Leah and Sam were with them too so Bella's room was crowded for quite a while before Jacob ushered some of them out to give her room to breathe.
Now it was just immediate family. Renee and Charlie were on one side of her bed, Billy was on the other. Jacob was sprawled out on the bed beside Bella, his arm around her as she held their sleeping son in her arms. "He needs a name." She said, her voice still hoarse from disuse.
"I waited for you." Jacob told her, leaning down to kiss her lips gently.
"What was your first choice for a boy?" Renee asked. "You never wanted to say."
Bella smiled tiredly. "I wanted to go with a J theme but I've changed my mind."
"You mean he's not going to be Jacob Junior?" Jacob pretended to pout, making Bella elbow him in the ribs playfully.
"I don't know why, it was a name I never even considered before, but when I woke up it was the first word on my mind." Bella stroked the shock of black hair away from her son's face.
"Come on, kiddo." Charlie urged her. "Tell us, we're dying to know."
"Brandon." Bella murmured. "Brandon Charlie Billy Black."
Renee stared at her daughter. "That was my brother's name." She revealed, a tear in her eye. Everyone turned to look at her curiously, except Bella and Charlie, who exchanged a knowing glance.
"I never knew you had a brother." Billy said in confusion.
"He only lived for three hours." Renee said sadly. "It was a difficult birth and my mother was told she could never have any more children. She was never the same after he died."
Charlie took her hand. "Are you okay?" He asked with concern.
"Yes. I love the name. Thank you baby girl. It's a lovely choice." Renee wiped at a stray tear and smiled.
A/N-the meeting with Carlisle and the others will be up next. I just wanted Bella to be with her family in this chapter. Thanks for reading!
