On with la story!


"Wake up, Miss Ivy. We're going into town." Sebastian says, shaking the spunky, short, mysterious girl.

"No mom... I want a cheeseburger from McDonald's with no cheese, not a giant pickle..." she mutters, and Sebastian deadpans.

A few days ago, this strange American girl with the ends of her her dyed purple showed up at his young master's estate, and she has proved herself to be very useful. But, Sebastian didn't know how she knew that Ciel would be kidnapped. She also didn't seem easily angered, and though she acts quite stupid, she was rather smart.

For a human, of course.

"Get up, or I'm getting the ice water." Sebastian says bluntly, and the girl sits up quickly, opening her light blue eyes that sparkled, though she just woke up. She was in her 'bra' again, that had a sleeveless cotton white shirt on top of it that had a picture of what seemed to be a country. This shirt was confusing, as it said 'get n', followed by this country's picture, finished with 'ed.' (A/N-google the shirt 'get naked alaska')

"I brought you breakfast," Sebastian says, and the girl's blue eyes sparkled brightly. "Sweet!"

"I also brought you Earl Grey tea to compliment the scones." Her eyes dulled, and she looked up at him. "As much as your food is delicious and amazing, and the tea is really good, I absolutely hate tea."

His eyebrow twitches, "But, I've seen you drink tea before. May I ask why the sudden change of heart has occurred?" He asks, and the girl shrugs. "When we had guests, I didn't want to seem rude, so I drank it, imagining it was hot chocolate. I did that as a kid with broccoli, imagining it was a bar of chocolate. Ah, I was such a fat ass..."

"I shall note this, forgive my insolence." he says, making his way to the door. "No, Sebastian, come back!" I say, and he turns towards me. "Yes?" He asks, bangs falling over his face.

"Don't worry about the tea thing, you didn't know. Anyway, do you have anywhere you need to be?" I say, and he thinks. "No, not for 10 more minutes." He says, and I smile.

"Than sit, you can relax a bit, and can have the tea I didn't drink." I say, and he smiles slightly. "I guess why not, thank you." He says, sitting on the couch beside my bed. Stiffly, if I may add.

Not drinking the damn tea he made me, of course. Damn demon, there's starving children in Quebecistan!

"I have an idea, we can play a game. Not a silly board game, but a game called '20 questions', where we find out more questions about each other, and respond honestly and truthfully. Ask anything, really."

"Interesting," Sebastian mused. Sebastian can find out how she knew of all the information, and this information would be useful to him or his young master. "I'll participate."

"Great!" I respond, finally! I can understand the things not given in the anime or manga, or things I forgot.

"May I ask first?" Sebastian asks, "Shoot." I reply, and he arches a brow. "That means go on, or ask away." I explain, and he nods in understandment.

"The question is, how did you know Ciel would be kidnapped?" He asks, and I recall the events.

(You don't have to read, it's a summary) "Well excuse this lengthy excuse, but this is basically how. Madam Red questioned Ciel if he believed that one of his guests was a drug trafficker, and Ciel had a particularly annoyed expression on his face. His eyebrow twitched thrice slightly, indicating that three of the people not present in the room would be a person of suspicious activity. Ciel became very annoyed when the two started squeezing my hair buns, and he left the room. This is indicating he had a meeting with those 3 present, that didn't go well, meaning he was already shorted out from those people's odd behaviors. Because of this bluntness, he may have agitated one of these three people at the meeting, who thought he was acting very flippant for a child. Also, drug dealers have to get supplies from some place, meaning they usually belong to a larger operation. And, drugs are illegal in England, meaning the money for these drugs have to come from an outside factor, being a mafia. And, for this mafia to successfully thrive, they'd have to operate outside of England. And, I know for a fact that Italy is very lax on their drug policies, but it is probably failing in business, since there would be more drug dealers there, and a lack here. So, turning to England, which they know is under strict drug laws, they figured more people would buy since they have less ways of getting to the drugs. Now, since Ciel is the chihuahua of the Queen, they'd probably think taking out the dog would help remove the law." I prattle off, and Sebastian smirks.

"You are very good at detective work, I see," he says, and I smile. "Thanks!"

Sebastian's eyes flash pink for a second, but Ivy doesn't notice. He just found her simply delightful, refreshing, and most importantly, her soul smells delicious. So fresh and sweet...

"My turn!" I say, I want this question as confirmation for all the fangirls out there.

"So, this is obviously not your true form, since your true demon form is different, correct?" I ask, and he nods. "So, the question is, what are you named after? And, what did you chose your form after?" I ask, and he leans back in his chair, hands in lap, though he has a straight spine still.

"Well, I was, unfortunately, named after a mutt named Sebastian that belonged to the young master before the mansion burned down, and the mutt died. I decided to assume this form to have some similar characteristics to Ciel's father, who had trustworthy, handsome features. Than, I added some characteristics from past features, to look like this. I can easily obtain information in this form, and have been oftenly told I am 'handsome and trustworthy.'" He says, finding it odd how calm she is asking about him being a demon. Than, he wondered why he shared all of this information with this seemingly trustworthy girl, but she had been here for only a few days. What if she was an American spy from the Queen?

My thoughts wander...daamn, he is handsome, but a demon at that... "Makes sense, so I assume you're a cat lover?" I ask, and he nods. "Immensely, there is nothing like cats from hell, we have...stranger creatures." No shit, they look like E.T and the Predators had a lovechild that was thrown into a bucket of acid.

"Now, where do you come from? I know for a fact Americans don't dress like that." he says, and I smirk.

"You're right, not all Americans dress like this, but Californians do." I say, taking a bite of the scone. "And, California is a state in America, so I could go by a Californian or an American, but American is better. More self-shaming jokes are for Americans, the only Californian jokes are 'bruh' and 'dude'. Now, my turn! What are some things you've done in your past forms that were major."

"Hmmm... well, I've met with Smenkhkare before, and I may have single-handedly caused the Black Death." I stop chewing on my scone, and he looks up at me. "Surprised I caused such an atrocious event?" he asks, and I shake my head no.

"Nope, but artist's renditions have him scowling a lot. Or, he can be really hot. Which is it?" I ask, thinking back to the rendition back in 8th grade. We had to memorize all past rulers from BC from major countries, and in 7th grade we memorized all present rulers from AD and up.

"What do you mean by hot? He wasn't on fire..." Sebastian says, and I chuckle. "Was he handsome?"

"Somewhat, but as you said, he was scowling quite a bit. Let's see... I reconstructed this manor, and-" Sebastian says with a smirk, as he pulls out his pocket watch, flipping it open.

God, he was such a braggart. I could open a pickle jar with little effort, so he can suck on a dick, or a tit, depending which way he swings.

"Today, I will escort you into town so you can obtain proper clothing from our seamstress and tailor, and to acquire Ciel's new walking stick, so I'll need you to put on a corset-"

"Nope! I forgot to tell you, but I bough spanx for my sister when I went shopping, and so I'll be doing that." I say, and he sighs. "Very well, Miss Ivy, but I hope it's proper enough."

"It is, it is! Now shoo so I can get nalasked and get dressed!" I say, and he stands up, leaving the room. I sigh in relief, heading to the closet, pulling out a light blue dress that's floor length, with short sleeves. I quickly take out the spanx, putting it on my body, sadly. It didn't do much difference, since I have the body of an athlete ( V shape) so I removed it promptly, and put on a pushup bra. It'll look like I have a bust from the 'spanx' than, which Sebastian has no idea about what it is.

I put on the dress, and put my hair into a high bun, before pinning on a Victorian navy blue hat over my bun, pinning it down. A peacock feather popped out of it, with a pearl pinning it down.

I put on the black flats from my closet that I bought, and slipped them on. I turn to the mirror in my room, and I looked way mature. Ew, I didn't like it one bit, I'd rather be wearing sweatpants, in my room, watching Netflix. Though I looked hella curvy in this dress, sweatpants beat Victorian dresses ANY day. I exited my room, looking at Sebastian who waited outside my room. "I see you are wearing shoes today," he says, and I nod.

"Ciel is in the carriage awaiting us, so we shall take off now." he says, and we walk to the front door.

"Y'know, you don't have to be so formal alone with me, you can talk like a normal person. I'm chill with that." I say, and he looks at me with amused eyes.

"Ivy, you say I speak oddly when you are the American with odd slangs and an informal way with speaking to strangers or recently met acquaintances," he remarks, and I grin. "Great! Thanks for finally listening!" I reply, and he looks confused, holding the door open for me as I step out.

"What is great?" He inquires, and I look up at him and beam. "You finally called me Ivy!" I say, and his jaw relaxes slightly.

"I believe so..." he says with a 'thinking' look on his face, and we stop in front of the carriage. He reaches his hand to open the carriage door, but I open it myself, before jumping in the carriage.

"Oooh, comfy!" I say, relaxing in a seat across from Ciel.

"Well, of course it is. I wouldn't own an uncomfortable carriage," he says, and Sebastian gets in, tapping the roof, and the carriage starts to move.

"Ivy, do you have any valuable skills?" Ciel asks, and I look at him. "Well, my long legs that make me at least 8'5", my straight, shiny hair, and my perfect face are the best skills. Of course, since I'm the most perfect girls, straight from fanfictions, I can sing attracting animals like I'm Snow White... did I mention I'm part neko?" I say jokingly, and they both look confused.

"Sarcasm, goodness gracious crustacean, lighten up. I guess my best skill is... I just 'do it.' That's my skill, and the only one I need." I say, leaning back. "If one goes with the flow, everything will work out." I mean, on missions, nothing ever goes by perfectly. Besides, I always complete my homework when I feel like it, meaning I get a better grade instead of forcing myself to do it last minute.

We ride in silence, and Sebastian opens the door, offering me a hand to get out, which I ignore and promptly hop out.

"I will drop you off at this store to get you measurements, while Ciel and I are to retrieve his new walking stick. We'll retrieve you when he's finished." Sebastian says, and I nod. "Got it!" I say, looking up at the sign. 'Hopkins' Tailor Shop.'

Oh, I'm so excited!

I step inside, and a woman with a brown, curled side ponytail greets me, with bright, cheery brown eyes.

"You must be Ivy Adams, it is grand to meet you! Let us get started!" She says, pulling me to the backroom.

"Now strip, and I'll help you with your corset." She says, and I chuckle. "I didn't put a corset on today, or the day previous, or any day. So unhealthy, so restricting!" I complain, and she double takes.

If one is to know the personality of the other, they can accurately talk to the other and stay on their good side. For example, Miss Nina is a clothing-feminist of this day and age, so by voicing my opinion about clothing she'll take a liking to me.

"No way!" She says, and I take off my dress, and she gasps. "Love it! The half-corset is genius, keeping the breasts strapped down well without strapping down the whole body, and you have such a fit body!" she says, grabbing my boobs, squeezing them. I figured it was because she's never seen a bra before, so I was cool with it.

"I know, right? I have some that are just lace, so comfortable." I say, and she looks up at me. "I love these styles! All I get are requests for boring, long dresses, but finally! Someone with ideals! Women who discard restrictive customs are much more free. It's the same with clothes, Greek and Japanese style clothes that are easy to move in and give a relaxed silhouette will be all the rage from now on. Of course, the silhouette is important for men too! And for such a beautiful silhouette, detailed measurements are essential!" I realize what she said was from a chapter, and I smile.

"I know, right? Totally agree!" I say, and she moves her hand to the side, and rips off her skirt, revealing shorts with garters underneath, paired alongside brown lace up boots. "The boots are so amazingly cute!" I say, looking at the shoes.

"Great! I have a plan for you, Ivy Adams! Now, take off your hat," she says, removing my hat, and pulling my hair band out, making my curly brown-purple hair to pop out. Her jaw drops. "Oh my, how stylish! So unusual, but so refreshing! The purple compliments your hair, and your personality, I love it!"

"Well, have you ever heard of the term 'feminism?'" I ask, as she does my measurements.

For the next hour, while she does measurements and sketches, I explain where I come from, minus time-travelling and dying, and how women have rights to wear whatever they want.

In the end, she designed me a whole wardrobe where I can wear Victorian Era dresses, but easily rip them away to reveal shorts. I have her make me some of my 'regular' clothes from my era, and she designed dresses, pants, skirts, shirts, tanks, short pajamas, and, best of all, she was going to make me a bra. Amazing, right? She was going to work on designs for them, and I almost kissed her.

And, I squeezed her boobs a few times. It was great, she told me to, and I obliged. She than squeezed mine, and she said "your breasts feel modern," and hers "feel like corset pushups."

I bid her farewell, as Ciel and Sebastian gave her the payment. "No, no, I'll do this free. Ivy has given me a new take on life!" She claims, and Ciel and Sebastian look at me concerned.

What did Ivy even tell Miss Nina? Ciel wondered,I bet Miss Nina's eccentric personality will just grow now.

"Miss Nina, can you please send me those papers I asked for with the clothes?" I ask, and Miss Nina nods.

"Certainly, Ivy! Come again!" She says, smile on face.

We leave the shop, making our way to the carriage, before we ride back to the mansion.

Sebastian opens the door, eyes looking down, and I rush inside.

"So...CUTE!" I exclaim, spinning around to look at all my surroundings. While I could be a major tomboy, I still loved cute things! I hear the trampling of feet, and see very cutely dressed servants. "Help!" They exclaim, and I nearly snort in laughter at their appearances. They take us off to a side room, where I see Grell hanging from the ceiling in a noose, multiple bows adorning him.

"Poor Grell! You shan't die today!" I say, trying not to laugh, as Sebastian jumps up, cutting the rope with a butter knife,and Grell falls into his arms. Grell than swoons over Sebastian's sexiness and how he caught him, which is pretty funny.

Lizzy pops out, and starts hugging Ciel like crazy, telling him how cute he is.

"Oh, so you're Ciel's fiancee! You're absolutely adorable!" I say, and Lizzy turns to face me. "Thank you! I really hoped to coordinate on all of the cuteness. I'm Elizabeth, but everyone calls me Lizzy, because Lizzy is much cuter than boring old Elizabeth!" She gushes, and I smile. "I'm Ivy Adams, but I can't exactly shorten my name so I go by Ivy!" I say with a giggle, and she giggles in response.

I know how to talk to people, that's an easy skill. If they talk dumb, I talk dumbly back to them.

She looks at Grell, who's standing up. "Oh, you took him down?" She asks sadly, and Sebastian smiles. "Yes, he mars the beauty of this room." Sebastian replies.

"From now on, only cute things exist in this mansion, right Antoinette?" Lizzy asks, looking at a blonde Tanaka. "Ho, ho, ho." Oh my god, this is hilarious!

My cheeks puff out, as I try not to laugh at 'Antoinette.'

"Oh, and I got Sebastian a present too!" Lizzy says, putting a cute baby visor-thing on his head. I forgot the word...oops.

"I am deeply honored you'd consider a servant a present," Sebastian says, giving a bow to Lizzy. "Don't worry, you're always dressed in black, so I'd think you'd look cute with some color!" Lizzy says, and the servants and I snicker. Such a large baby-man, and he's a demon too! How dangerous and scary~

Sebastian glares at us, and we stop laughing, but I'll probably start laughing later because of the thought of Sebastian in his little baby-visor. I hiccup slightly, and he glares at me again, which I reply with a sheepish grin.

"I'm sorry I've never met you, or else I'd bring you something personally cute, Ivy, but I have some extra cute accessories still around! You're my height, and I brought extra cute dresses! And costumes too!" Lizzy says, and I restrain my eyebrow twitching. My sister once did dress up with me, and she ended up cutting my hair unevenly to get me 'cute bangs'. That was when I was 7 and she was 6. Instead of going to the school with me in Michigan, she goes to a school in Oregon for the performing arts, and I've been to her performances. I'm the only one who knows that I go to an assassination school, my family believe I was attending a school for academics. Honestly, I'm glad my sister doesn't come to school with me, she'd freak out when she saw the orientation.

The orientation? You have to gut a bear. My sister's a vegan, mostly due to her allergies to dairy. But she also hates animal cruelty, too, as she believes we evolved from animals and it would be like cannibalism.

As for me? I'm the Meat Queen. I love all meat: sausage, bacon, dick, hamburger.

It's all so tasty~!

"Oh, I just love dress up!" I say cheerfully, lying through my teeth. "Great!" She exclaims, before hugging Ciel some more.

"Ivy, Sebastian, we must attend to my office now," Ciel says, talking through his teeth, "I have business I need to attend to."

"Oh, well, I'll dance with you tonight! And, we'll look immensely cute together." She adds, and Ciel sweatdrops, and our little trio leaves.

We get to Ciel's office, and he admits he doesn't know how to dance. "Well, I'll teach you, than. And, you too Miss Ivy, I don't know if you know how to waltz."

"I know how to waltz, I learned how to a while ago, so I may be rusty." I say, scratching the back of my neck. Sixth grade, skills set: Formal Events. Most boring class ever, I learned where my proper utensils go, how to formally dance, how to scoop someone's eyes out with a dessert spoon, and how to properly curtsy. Barely passed with a C.

"Well, let's set an example for my master here, than. May I have this dance, my lady?" Sebastian asks, and I feel my inner fangirl squeal. Still not used to the fact I'm in Kuroshitsuji.

I curtsy, he bows, and we start waltzing. Once I do it again, I'm not as rusty as I thought I would be, but I have to strain my neck to look up at him since if I look straight forward I'm looking at his abdomen, and he has to look down at me. How does he not double chin?

Our feet hit the ground in unison, sending the occasional clack against the tiles.

"Well, I guess you are fine, so you can do it with Ciel, since the height difference between us is staggering." Sebastian says, suddenly stopping, and I stop dancing too. "Sure, why not. Ciel?" I ask, looking at him, and he pulls a bitch-face.

"No."

"Hey, don't do it for me, do it so your fiancee will be happy, and love you..." I say, and he still has 'no' written on his face. I sigh, "So she's happy and will agree to leave."

"Why didn't you say so?" Ciel asks, stepping forward, and I awkwardly show him how to dance. He steps on my feet a few times, but he eventually gets the hang of it, though he can stumble, but he still looks bored and not looking me in the eyes..

"You must smile, like you're having fun, or Lizzy will think you're not cute enough and stay longer. Make more eye contact, and have your eyes sparkle. And, make your hands more firm on my waist!" I say, and Ciel looks at me in the eyes awkwardly, cheeks dusted in pink.

"Now, imagine I'm someone you hold dear to you." I say, and Ciel sighs. "You and Sebastian are the only ones dear to me still alive, though I hardly know you..."

Awww...how sweet!

"You both are dear to me, because you both are useful pawns."

I sweat drop, really now? I was just a pawn?!

"Well, it's obviously not working, so imagine I'm someone who's no longer here that you hold dear to you." I say, and he grumpily hmmphs.

"Hey, listen Ciel," I say with a smile, taking my hand and grabbing his face, forcing his eye to look at me, "the woman you will be dancing with tonight will be the one who puts up with your shit for the rest of your life. When you finally achieve revenge and Sebastian eats your soul like a starving man at a buffet, she will be the one who mourns over your coffin as your WIFE, not your cousin, or the clingy girl you find annoying. Wife. She's the one who repeats the 'til death do us part'. Not me, not Sebastian. But Lizzy. So, though she may seem clingy and hard to deal with, she's just trying to make you smile like I am by the only way she thinks she can. By being cute, because normal people who don't make contracts with butler demons like cute things." I stop dancing, taking both of my hands, and I grab Ciel's arms, removing them from my waist.

"And, the way I'm trying to make you smile is to tell you to enjoy life before Sebastian eats your soul. Variety is the spice of life, after all. Now, I'll be off, so if you can't give a genuine smile, at least remember how you used to, and copy that. And please, PLEASE, take off your Phantomhive rings tonight, and wear the ring she gave you. Though you may not like it, SHE will. If you can't even fake a smile, at least make her smile, her smile is bright enough for both of you." I finish cheerfully, before I turn from Ciel, walking out of the study.

Dramatically and like a boss, if I may add.

I wander the hallways, until I somehow run into Lizzy.

"Oh, Ivy! I was just wondering where you went off to, it's time to cute-ify you!" She says, before grabbing my hand, dragging me off to only God-knows-where.


"You look so adorable, don't you, Ivy?" Lizzy asks, as my jaw drops in the mirror.

I insisted on not using a corset, which Lizzy was fine with as long as she could do my hair.

Bad idea.

I was wearing a dark purple ball gown, with a ruffled black underside, and a sweetheart neckline. I was wearing matching purple earrings and a necklace, with long, black satin gloves. My hair was curled into large, ringlets that made my hair slightly longer, but it would definitely frizz later. Besides, Lizzy put it into a ponytail, with one strand hanging out, which kinda resembled hers. She would have given me shoes, except her feet are WAY smaller than mine, so I ended up with my black flats.

I walk into the ballroom, to see Grell complaining about how the white is not flattering at all.

"I agree 100%, you are just simply made to be complimented by red," I say, looking at Grell. They whip around, and put their hands on their hips. "Well, at least SOMEONE agrees with me! This does NOT compliment me at all!"

"That's why..." I say, pulling out a red ribbon I found in the hallway from Lizzy's decorations. "This will fix your outfit! Too much white looks like a wedding, and you definitely need a splash of color!"

"Thank youuuuuu, Ivy!~" Grell says, snatching the ribbon from my hand. "This will definitely spice up my outfit!" he ties it around his neck, making a cute red choker that rivals the 'yes, i do anal' choker style of 2016.

"Certainly! I'll bet you make the outfit at least 10 times better with red." I reply, looking at the oddly/cutely dressed servants. "Don't you all agree?" I ask, and they hastily nod. "Certainly, yes!" Mey-Rin says, and Lizzy squeals. I turn to the staircase, and see a Ciel, donned in all blue. What's with Lizzy only choosing the same colors in an outfit? Ciel looks like a limp, deflated blueberry!

"Ciel! You look adorable! That outfit is absolutely perfect! Oh, and you're even wearing that cute ring I bought you, and you match with me perfectly! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Lizzy says, running up to Ciel, glomping him in a hug.

Ciel looks at me from over Lizzy's shoulder, and I nod. I can see him sigh, as he hugs her back, awkwardly. Very, VERY awkwardly. His facial expression makes it seem like he's hugging his old, least favorite aunt, and she had forced Ciel's face buried in her huge honkers.

"Come, let us dance." Ciel says, pulling away from the hug. Lizzy's eyes sparkle, "To dance? Really?!" She asks, as Ciel offers her his hand, and he gives a nod, with a small smile, which resembled a smirk, but a smile nonetheless.

Sebastian smirks, whipping out his violin, and starts playing his violin piece.

"Noice!" I say, as the servants look at Sebastian in awe.

"He's incredible, yes he is!" Mey-Rin says in shock.

"He plays the violin. Is there anything he can't do?" Finny asks. Well, he certainly can't go to heaven.

Get rekt, Sebastian!

"Ah, I'll join him!" Grell says, before running to the side of the staircase, stiffening his spine, before he sings along with vocals to Sebastian's playing, and Baldroy's cigarette falls out of his mouth as his jaw drops as sweet notes pour out of Grell's lips. "What the hell?! He can actually sing?!"

"Guys, let's dance!" I say, grabbing Tanaka's hand, as I spin his chibified form around the room, as he says "Ho, Ho, Ho," and I smile.

I danced with Finny, Baldroy, and even Mey-Rin (she insisted it was inappropriate for two women to be dancing together, so I told her 'no homo' and that we would just spin each other so it'd be chill, which she didn't get the meaning of it, but went along with it anyway)

While Ciel and Lizzy were taking a break, I saw Sebastian come down from his perch at the top of the staircase, and he approached me.

"Miss Ivy, may I have this dance?" He asks, bowing to me. Wow! Every fangirl's dreams, yet-

"No thanks." I say, and he stiffens up, looking slightly bewildered, confused, yet amused at me denying him.

"Are you certain, Miss Ivy?" He asks. "Yup, besides, who would play the music anyway? Certainly not me, I have absolutely NO musical talents whatsoever, my singing is below average, except I can beatbox and rap pretty well... but that's not relevant!" I ramble, as I curtsy to Sebastian. "Besides, ask Mey-Rin or Grell, and you'll make someone's night. Mine has already been made." I say, and he raises a brow.

Technically, I have some musical talent. I can play the Double Bass, and I know how to properly attack someone with music. It was an interesting mission, I ended up killing a man with a violin bow, pushed a piano down the stairs unto some goons, and smashed a snare drum over someone's head. That mission was in fifth grade, and my first solo one (except my chaperone was watching me).

"How so?" He asks, and I look towards Ciel and Lizzy.

"I helped Ciel take a step closer to... something bigger than him. And, Lizzy is satisfied too. Nothing broken this time, I must add."

"Well, on an un-related subject, I must say you look simply ravishing tonight, dressed up as so." Sebastian says, and I nod in thanks. Creepy choice in words, though...

"Why, thank you. I would compliment you, but it'd just boost your already huge ego. As you said, you chose this form to be handsome and appealing."

Sebastian gives his signature smile with closed eyes at what I said, but says nothing in reply. Arrogant, handsome demon-person thing!

"How do you feel, staying at this manor?" Sebastian asks, and I smile. "I love it here, everyone is generally kind." I reply, and he nods in understandment.

Because, though Ivy didn't know it, Sebastian was ready to chain Miss Ivy here in case the need arrived, in case his orders from Ciel need action. It's better that she enjoyed it here than being held here against her will, Sebastian liked Miss Ivy as she was. A happy-go-lucky soul with unique characteristics.

The young blonde and little blue boy stand up again, and Ciel walks towards us, Lizzy holding on to his hand.

"Thank you for the wonderful night! I was wondering if you can send me back home? I wouldn't want to impose and overstay my welcome." Lizzy says cheerfully, and Ciel clearly resists the urge to roll his eyes. Her welcome? She came unexpectedly!

"I'll see you to a carriage," Sebastian says, giving Lizzy a fake cheerful smile, and Grell bounds up to us. "I'll escort her home! I've learned so much from watching Sebastian, it's been a wonderful experience!" He says, and Sebastian's eyes harden slightly.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Lizzy, and I'll hope to see Grell in some 'ravishing red' soon." I say, turning to both of them.

"It was fun playing dress up with you, you look absolutely adorable in some of my costumes!" Lizzy says, and I smile. "No probert Robert!" I say, and she gives me a confused look. "American phrase," I explain, and she opens her mouth in an 'o' shape, and slowly nods. "Oh... I see!" She says cheerfully.

Grell, Sebastian, the servants and Lizzy than exit the hall, and Ciel's stiff posture relaxes, as he rolls his eyes.

"She's awfully cheery, is she not?" He asks, looking at me with a bored, blue eye.

"Yes, she's cheery, but it's certainly more pleasant than someone's 'I don't care, I'm so bored, moody and pubescent' attitude." I respond, winking at him. He glares at me, as I laugh, before glomping him.

"What are you doing, again, if I may add?!" He says, voice muffled. He tries pushing me off, but I hold on tighter.

"Ciel whatever-your-middle-name-is Phantomhive, stop being so serious! Besides, you're glares are hilarious on your cute, tiny body!" I exclaim, taking off his hat and ruffling his hair.

"I, uh, I need to use the water closet!" He exclaims, and I sigh. Oldest trick in the book!

"Fine, I'll let you escape me with your 'water closet needs,' this time only though." I say, letting him go. He abruptly pulls away, fixing his hair, holding his hat to the side.

"Thank you," he says, smoothing out his clothes, though they were already straight. "I'm going to retire to my bedroom now, good night." He turns from me, and walks up the stairs.

Speaking of stairs... the banister looks awfully shiny, meaning it's greased, meaning I can use it as a slide for going down the stairs (like a boss) instead of walking down (like a peasant).

I walk to my room, where I throw on a pair of pajama shorts, and my Get Nalasked shirt (n-ak-ed), pulling my hair out of the hairdo.

Wait, after the dance, if I correctly remember, and if this follows the anime, Sebastian stays with Ciel until he falls asleep, and almost decided to eat him. God damn, maybe since I'm here, I messed up the storyline!

I quickly rush out my door, hopping over to the room next door, and I barge in without knocking. Inside is Ciel, with Sebastian buttoning up his shirt.

"Miss Ivy, what are you doing in here? And, why so inappropriately dressed too?" Sebastian asks, and

Inside is Ciel sitting on his bed, with Sebastian finishing up buttoning his nightshirt.

"I would like to speak with Ciel before he goes to bed," I say, thinking of a random excuse. Sebastian nods, "Very well, Miss Ivy, young master." Sebastian replies, before bowing to us each in turn, before turning to leave.

"Sebastian, you are dismissed for the night." Ciel orders, and Sebastian turns, bows, before leaving the room.

"Well," Ciel snaps, looking at me, "what brings you here?"

I look over at his dresser, and I walk over to it briskly, picking up the family ring that belongs to Ciel.

"What are you doing?!" Ciel asks, and I sit on the stool next to his bed. "This ring, it must've been hard to not wear it tonight, yes? Speak honestly, for I already know where your heart lays." I say, holding up the ring, peering into it as the jewel duly sparkled in the candle light. Ciel humphs, and I slightly chuckle.

"I'll take that as a yes, than. It's important to you, it's the last traces of your family, so I'd understand how hard it'd be to let go of something, even for a few hours or so." I say, taking Ciel's small, baby hands in mine, as I slip the ring onto his thumb.

"How'd you kno-"

"Newspapers." I state, looking up at him. "Now, listen up Ciel, this ring may be part of your family, but it's not you, if you get what I mean? You are still Ciel Phantomhive, the Earl of the Phantomhives, or whatever your title is."

"Earl Phantomhive..." Ciel says softly, eyes widening, before he reaches back, untying the eyepatch around his head. closing both of his eyes.

"This ring, has witnessed many deaths of my family members, parents included. That's probably what makes it part of the Phantomhive family... this ring will be a witness at my death, too. When I close my eyes, I can hear them." Ciel says, reaching his hands up, pressing his temples. "I can hear their horrific screams, and their wretched voices. I thought to myself 'If I can last without this ring, maybe I'll stop hearing them.'" He curls his knees up to himself, and hugs them tightly. Afterall, Ciel is but a child, and can't handle stress as well as older people, though he seems fine on the outside...

"Ciel," I say, reaching my hand out, cupping his cheek lightly, rubbing my thumb over his smooth cheek.

"I'm acting ridiculous, aren't I?" He asks, and I shake my head. "No, Ciel, you are simply bringing up your true emotions to the front of your brain," I respond, and he opens up his eyes, revealing the contract in his right eye. It's dull, purpleness appears to be ready to spring into action at any moment, and it looks so much more realistic in real life! There's no pupil, or reflection, which is honestly scary. Very matte too...

"Sebastian is a demon, and will take my soul once my part of the contract is fulfilled. Hearing these gruesome screams will only fuel my hate for those I wish revenge upon, and I'll use this to my advantage." Ciel suddenly says, and I sigh.

"The more you push back your emotions, the worse it'll be trying to keep sane, and the more you'll hear those horrible screams. It doesn't help you get revenge, it'll just haunt you until you achieve your revenge. You'll go insane before you even reach halfway there..." I say, remembering Michael...

I had pushed back my emotions about him at first, but I decided I needed to experience them in order to try to let him go.

"Now, get into bed. Lie down," I say, and he hesitantly lies down on his back. "What now?" He demands, and I mentally roll my eyes.

"Go to bed, I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep." I say, pulling the covers over his body.

"That's very risque, seeing we're members of the opposite sex." Ciel says, with an odd tone to his voice.

"I'm not going to do anything ya' dingus," I say, blowing out the candle on the dresser, sending the room into darkness.

I listen to his breathing for 30 minutes, as it starts out faster, before slowing down into a steady beat, and the faint snore. Damn, he takes forever to fall asleep! I fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow, unless I'm on my phone making memes or looking at memes or reading meme fanfiction...

Rubbing my eyes, I look at the other side of Ciel's bed. He probably wouldn't mind if I fell asleep there...

Using my ninja-stealth skills, I stood up from the stool, and walked to the other side of Ciel's bed, where I lifted up the covers, and rolled in. So silky...so soft...


I wake up to my internal clock, to feel arms around my waist, and something heavy on my chest...

Groggily cracking an eye open, I see Ciel's head on my chest, arms wrapped around my waist. So that's why I felt Ciel kick in his sleep, damn that boy! I had weird dreams about a bear throwing bricks at my legs as I was reading a book...thanks a lot Ciel!

I shift slightly, and Ciel's arms loosen, as I slip out of his grip. His head flops to the mattress, and I put my hand on my chest. It's slightly damp...EW!

He drooled on my Lunchables!

I move my hand away, who knew Ciel would be a drooler, snorer, kicker, and handsy in his sleep! Lil' pervy pubescent fucker...

I quickly head to the door, slipping out of it, before I head to the direction of the kitchen. I'll probably forget the whole route of this manor, except to the kitchen and my room.

I quickly look up at the small clock in the kitchen, ew, I got up too early! Freaking 4:30...must've been the kicker waking me up earlier than I need. I'll practically sleep through anything, like that one time I slept through the break in alarm at school. The only reason I woke up was because some of the intruders sneaked into my room and tried to kill me when I slept, but I knocked 5 out of 6 unconscious, and the 6th one toke me to their leader, who I promptly beat up. Man, seventh grade year was pretty boring...I did get full access to the whole school for doing that, though, which was pretty great. I climbed on top of the roofs a lot, and went to the kitchens too. Who knew the chef there would teach me Latin?

Yeah...pretty good times. I'll probably head back there one day...heck, I think the school was established in the 1850's... I can freaking enroll there. Of course, females weren't accepted until the early 1900's when the school realized girls can seduce their prey like black widow spiders, but it turned out females and males are pretty even in skill sets. William Kelly, the most badass Headmaster and Vice Headmaster Arnold Jäger. They helped establish women's rights at their school, and helped women establish the right to vote. They also did the most amazing missions ever, like going after a cult when they were only 17 with 7 others (though, they and 1 other were the only to survive, the one other being an un-named legend), going to the North Pole, crashing the Hindenburg killing high-ranking Nazis who planned to kill the President, assassinated Hitler and his wife (making it look like a suicide, too) and they both died on the same day in 1957, after living for 87 years! They were my aspirations at Archangels of Samael (the school I went to) because of their kick-assness and determination! They also started the 'reindeer-hopping' tradition, but I'll explain that later.

Who knew that just because a girl lacked a dick that they'd ACTUALLY be good at something other than staying home all day, and cooking, cleaning, sewing, doing the laundry, and being a housewife?

Sexist bastards before the 1920's... and they still sexist after it! Good god!

I put my hand over my stomach as it grumbled, goodness gracious! I need to start cooking! Though I dearly love the servants, I don't want to deal with them judging my clothing choice, AGAIN.

Quickly, I pulled out the ingredients for making breakfast cookies, and I count all the ovens in this kitchen. So...3 ovens, meaning if I do a batch of cookies per oven, that'd be 36 cookies, and I always quadruple my recipe for cookies...so...

144 cookies! Goodness! But, since we'd obviously leave for the town house soon, the servants will need some good food to survive off...hopefully the house won't burn down again.

Lol, that'd traumatize Ciel.

I reach my hands above my head, stretching to crack out my joints. I throw my head back, listening to it give a satisfying crack.

That felt good... I crack my fingers, before rolling my shoulders out, putting my hands in front of me.

Time to make these cookies!

I quickly close the door, washed my hands, before I made the batter, and baked the first batches, while I worked on the second. Than, I repeated this process, until I finished with all of the cookies.

I look at the kitchen clock...5:30, not too bad. So, if I give 2 to everyone for breakfast, I'd be down to 132 cookies, 2 for me, obviously. I set aside 12 cookies, before wrapping up the rest on 7 platters with wax paper, slamming them in the refrigerator.

I open up the door to the kitchen, as I set up the small circular table in the kitchen. I pour glasses of milk for everyone, as I hear footsteps. Smirking, I turn around to see Baldroy, Tanaka, Mey-Rin and Finny, stumbling into the kitchen, looking groggy.

"Good morning everyone!" I say cheerfully, "I made breakfast again."

"In scandalous clothing, so it seems..." Baldroy groggily retorts, but I ignore his comment. My pajamas are a bit odd for this time period... buy hey! I usually just wear a bra and shorts to bed, so I'm making effort.

"Than why do I smell cookies?" Finny says, scratching his head. "Well, breakfast cookies!" I say, pointing at the table.

"Please, eat!" I say, and they all stumble out of their groggy state, smiles popping up on their faces. "Don't min' if I do!" Baldroy says, practically running to the table. "They smell good, yes!" Mey-Rin says, following closely behind. "Thank you!" Finny says, running to the table.

"What about you, Tanaka?" I ask, looking at the small, cute old man. "Ho, ho, ho!" He says, walking to the table, taking a sip of tea. Wait, it's freaking 5:30 in the morning, and he already has tea?

"Well, I left a plate out for Sebastian and Ciel on the counter," I say, walking to the table and plonking down in the chair, dipping the cookie in milk.

"Why are you dippin' the cookie in milk? It's best eaten plain, like a cookie should be!" Baldroy says, and I look up at him.

"Try it, and you'll see!" I say, taking a bite of my cookie. All of them hesitantly try it, when their eyes light up.

"Great!"

"Delightful this is, yes!"

"Ohhh~! I just love this!"

"Ho, ho, ho!"

"I know, right?" I ask, as they all look at me sadly. "We...finished our cookies..." Finny says with a pout.

"I made more, precisely 132 cookies are left," I say, taking a sip of my milk as all of their jaws drop.

"Why didn't you say so?" Baldroy says, looking around the room. "Don't bother, I made extras so you'll have breakfast daily in case I couldn't make it daily for all of you." I respond, and Mey-Rin smiles.

"That was nice of you Ivy, yes!" She says, and I smile. "It was no problem, don't worry!"

"Again?" A voice says at the doorway, and we see the original party pooper himself, Sebastian.

"You thought I'd give up?" I retort, and Sebastian sighs. "Yes."

"Well, too bad~!" I say with a sing-song voice, as the servants abruptly stand up.

"We'll get to our duties now!" The trio all chorus, before running out the door, with Tanaka calmly following behind.

"Well, I'll need to prepare breakfast for my young lord now," Sebastian says, and I hold up a hand.

"No need! I've already done it!" I say, pointing to the cookies on the counter. Sebastian arches a brow, "You want to serve my young lord two...cookies, for breakfast?"

"Correction, breakfast cookies. And, yes. They're really good, I put in raisins, chocolate chips, apple sauce, cinna-"

"You put...apple sauce in a cookie?" Sebastian asks, confused.

"Well, yes, it's a wonderful substitute for oil, butter, and eggs." I respond, pulling out rags from the pantry and a small box, wetting one, before running it under water.

"I highly doubt that'd taste remotely good," Sebastian says cheerfully, and I look at him in shock, as he does that closed eyed grin of his.

"Nothing tastes good to you, I bet. You're just a picky child," I retort, wiping the counter.

"I am far older than you'd imagine," Sebastian says, and I shrug. "Still doesn't change the fact you're picky."

"Really?" He asks, seemingly amused.

"Really. I bet you're so picky, you wouldn't try my cookies, even if I told you that they were the best cookies in the world, and they appealed to all of your standards." I respond, looking up at him smugly, putting the rag on the counter as I put my hands on my hips. "Because, in all honesty, you're just a picky child. Almost similar to the young boy, Ciel."

I've messed with my targets before like this, in all honesty, it's just how to push someone to do new things.

Sebastian's eyebrow twitched. "So, let's say if I took a bite of your cookie, like so..." Sebastian says, picking up a cookie on the platter, lifting said cookie into his mouth and swallowing, without a single crumb trail left. Did he just... eat the cookie whole without swallowing?!

"...would I still be a picky child like my young lord?" Sebastian finishes, closed eye grin on his face like he won the battle. Ha! 1-0, me in the lead.

"Nope, Sebby-chan!" I say, smiling. "You just want validation for things you can do, but you just don't feel like it. Still a picky child, sorry to say."

The smile falls off his face, and he looks at me with a neutral expression, honey-red/brown eyes looking at me with intrigue.

"Why so, Ivy?" He asks, and I smile, picking up the small box from where I set it down. "Well, when I insulted you on something I knew you could do that you decided not to do, you wanted to prove to me you could do such a thing to prove you are not a picky child. But, in all reality, that changes nothing." I respond cheerfully, picking up the rag from the counter, as I walk towards the door, before stopping in front of it. "But, I got you to do something I wanted to do, so I really hope you did enjoy that cookie. There's another one for you, if you wish, and there's a couple for Ciel too!" I call out, before walking out the door, and out into the hallway.

Behind Ivy, Sebastian smirked slightly. Though it wasn't a soul, it was certainly delicious, and, so was Miss Ivy. She was refreshing in this era, she didn't fit the society's view of a woman. Yes, she'd make a good addition to his young master's collection.

And to Sebastian's.

Blissfully unaware to these thoughts swirling in Sebastian's head, Ivy was squealing in joy to see the clothes from Miss Nina hanging in her closet.

The only word to describe them? Fabulous!

The dresses were perfect, and Miss Nina sent a package too that wasn't opened yet, too! It read 'Ivy's eyes only', thank god there was some respect in there! And, bras and panties! And a letter stating that the next set of dresses she was sending me had 'built inside breast upholders.'

Meaning built in bras! Miss Nina is a GENIUS!

A knock is on the door, and I stuff the bras and underwear under my bed. "Enter!" I call out, and Ciel enters.

"Hello, Ivy," he says, almost bored, "I am going to the London Townhouse, and I'd like for you to accompany me to there, to inspect the murders of-"

"This is a demand, not a question, correct?" I ask, and he looks up at me with an eye. "Of course it's a demand. I don't wish to sound rude, though."

"Well, I'm not going, unless you rephrase the question with a 'please.'" I reply, turning from him. Ciel sighs loudly, and I smirk.

"Please."

"Please what?" I ask, "Please get me a muffin? What are you asking me?"

"May you please accompany me to London." he says, sweat dropping. "Sure!" I reply cheerfully, turning back to him. "How long are we staying?"

"I don't know, however long it takes." He says, and I give him the thumbs up.

"Well, I can't wait to visit London! Never been there, really." I say, and he looks at me oddly. "Didn't you say you came from London?" He asks, and I shrug. "I haven't been with others!" I respond, and Ciel face palms.

"Whatever you say, just be dressed to go soon. Sebastian has already packed your bags." Ciel says, before slamming the door shut.

How rude!

I quickly get dressed in a light purple dress that goes to my mid calf in the front, but gets longer in the back. It's like a mullet, but a dress. Except it's reverse, party in the front, but business in the back. It poofs outwards a bit, but not too much, but that added fact is because I'm wearing shorts under it.

That's right, I have one of Miss Nina's legendary skirt-pull-to-reveal-shorts. I even had her install pockets for weapons, which I told her 'for self protection for a female.' I put the small box in there for now, and the papers I asked for from Miss Nina, these will be useful later...

I put my hair into the space buns, and I put on a light grey trench coat that's form fitting at the waist, flaring out a bit, going down to my knees. The collar goes upward like Lau's does, and it looks great. The buttons aren't on one side, but it goes up left vertically, and it's very stylish.

I put on a pair of black flats with socks, and feeling satisfied, I look in the mirror. Not too different from modern day... I like that fact. I can still beat up a punk like this, too.

I step out of the room, and I see Sebastian.

"Ivy, you do realize we're going in public, and you're revealing your ankles..." he says, raising a brow. My eyebrow twitches, "Are you kidding me? Does an ankle seem really that bad? Psh! I shaved my legs, so it's fine. Let's just get this show on the road." I say grumpily, and he smirks.

"Certainly, Ivy." he says, holding out an arm. "I'm good, thanks though!" I say cheerfully, bounding ahead to the door. Sebastian smirks slightly, shaking his head.

What a strange girl. How refreshing.

I bound ahead to the carriage awaiting me outside, and I'm about to open the door, when Sebastian's suddenly there, holding the door open. My eyebrow twitches, as I look at him as he smirks.

"What kind of butler would I be if I was unable to open the door for a lady?" He asks, and I roll my eyes.

"A butler, that's the answer. 1-1, you're going down, Sebastian." I say, pulling myself into the carriage, plopping myself onto a plush cushion across from Ciel. He raises an eyebrow, "You know you're going into public, right?" He asks, and I throw my head back in frustration, as the carriage starts moving.


"This is our London Townhouse," Ciel says, gesturing to the brick manor in front of me.

"Dope..." I mutter, looking at Ciel. "It will be just us, so we can focus on the tasks at hand." He says, walking up the steps, as I follow behind. Sebastian opens the door for us, which I play off, as Ciel walks briskly.

"We are going to my study here, where we will work on our business. I wish I didn't have to move from our countryside house though...I hate this, though. Too many people in London, makes me annoyed." Ciel says, walking up a set of staircases, Sebastian and I trailing behind.

"There is no helping it, my lord. It's tradition for the nobility to migrate en masse to town from the country every Season." Sebastian says, and I nod in agreement, though I don't get the point. Maybe it's like the field trips my school would go to during Spring Break? Of course, last year, it was to see who could collect the coolest items from the black/underground market. And by items, meaning the worst person who sells the items. The most noticeable things I brought back were a sex trafficker who was wanted by the police for $100,000 in fifth grade, in freshman year El Chapo, and this year El Chapo again. He wasn't too happy to see me, but I was because I was awarded 10 million dollars for the combined times I retrieved him. I took 9/10 of it to building more schools around the country, and donated the rest to the school.

"The Season, eh? A waste of time, if you ask me." Ciel says, and I roll my eyes.

"Ciel, this 'Season' you have sounds interesting, it's a change of pace, isn't it? Besides, I know how you find the servants annoying from time to time..." I say, and Ciel smirks.

"Some peace and quiet does sound nice-" Ciel says, opening a door, revealing Grell, Madame Red and Lau.

"Goodness's sake! Where do they keep the tea in this house?" Madame Red questions, shuffling items on shelves.

"I can't find it either..." Lau says with a sad look on his face.

"Don't be silly! Of course it's not in there. Oh!" Madame Red complains, and I chuckle, as I look at Sebastian's and Ciel's dumbfounded faces.

"Madam Red?! Lau?! What are you here?!" Ciel asks, and Madame Red and Lau look up.

"Ciel, you're early, dear." Madame Red says, straightening up..

"Your sudden appearance here in town must mean... The Queen's guard dog has a new scent to follow. Now, Ciel, where is your tea?" Lau says, and Ciel looks serious.

"Well, I got some tea! Aren't I a genius, ha!" I say, lifting up my skirt. Sebastian covers Ciel's eyes, and Lau, Madame Red, Grell and Sebastian look at what's under my skirt with confusion, all of them seeming to be holding their breath.

Under my skirt is my mid-thigh shorts, with a small box attached to my hip. I pluck it off, before putting my skirt back down.

"I brought tea leaves from the pantry!" I say cheerfully, and everyone exhales. I look around confused, what's the big deal?!


"He struck again, another prostitute was found gruesomely murdered in Whitechapel. These killings are far from normal. The level of violence we're seeing is unprecedented." Ciel says, taking a sip of his tea (from the leaves I brought.) as he lounges on a chair. I'm sitting next to Madame Red, as Lau sits across from us. I munch on a croissant, and I take a sip of the hot chocolate Sebastian made for me.

Bless that demon-man. Tastes SO good.

"The most recent victim was a woman named Mary Ann Nichols. It appears a special type of blade was used on her. She was torn up beyond recognition." Sebastian says, and I arch a brow.

"'Special blade' is funny coming from you, Sebastian, you're the one who uses butter knives, forks and spoons as their primary weapon," I say, and Sebastian nods. "Yes, certainly my choice of weapons may be odd, but it's my butler's aesthetic. Besides, this murderer's distinctive style of killing has earned him a unique nickname from the press: "Jack the Ripper.""

"A frightening name, eh?" Lau asks, and everyone nods in agreement, save for me.

In 6th grade, for history class we had to write an essay on murderers who never got caught and why. Half the class did freaking Jack the Ripper. So boring, and they all had the same reason for him never being caught.

Me? I did the freaking Zodiac Killer, of course. (AKA-Ted Cruz.)

"That's why I'm here earlier than expected. I hurried into town to look into the situation for myself." Ciel says, taking a sip of his tea. Lau smirks, dark look coming on to his face.

"But are you sure you'll be brave enough to stomach the crime scene?"

"What do you mean by that?" Ciel asks, and Lau smirk, if possible, widens.

"The sight of the dismembered body will certainly be horrific. And one can only imagine the stench. Blood and gore everywhere. Surely it would more than enough to drive some men mad. Are you prepared to see such a thing? You're just a young boy after all." Lau says, before turning to me. "And you, but a young girl, will have to see a rotting corpse, that has organs spilled out, sending girls into fainting spells. Why wish to see that?" He asks.

"I am the head of the Phantomhives in service to my Queen. Don't ask such foolish questions that waste time." Ciel says, but Lau continues to look at me, well, moving his head so his face turned in my direction.

"I'm here for the reasons of finding out who the murderer is!" I say cheerfully, bright smile on my face. "Truthfully, I've probably seen more blood, guts and gore than both of you 'adults' combined!"

The smirk falls of Lau's face, as it grows on Madame Red's. "How interesting, where do you come from in America to witness this at such a young age?" Madame Red asks, and I smile.

"Simply it was the life I lived, but I chose to rise above, rather than sink below." I say, taking another sip of my hot chocolate, smirk on face.


"Sorry, my boy. I'm afraid a crime scene like this is no place for a child." Inspector Abberline says, looking at us as Ciel, Sebastian and I walk up. "Now why don't you just run along home?"

"We wanna see the dead body!" I say cheerfully, and he turns towards me.

"And why is such a young girl here to see the body, too?! Surely, you kid!"

"No, I teenager." I mutter in response, but he ignores me.

"Well, if it isn't Lord Phantomhive? What are you doing here?" An older man in a top hat says, walking out of an alleyway. Abberline's eyes widen, "You know this kid, sir?"

"I'm here to help, Sir Arthur. Seems your investigation is dragging a bit. You know who sent me, of course." Ciel holds up the letter with the seal from the queen, smirk on face, as he grabs the informational papers from Inspector Abberline, shuffling through them. "It seems you haven't found any major clues yet." Ciel says, and Sir Arthur's eyes widen.

"We at Scotland Yard are more than capable of handling this case, I assure you. There's no need for you interfere. And, no need for a woman to go to the crime scene either." He says, shifting his eyes towards me.

"Why, isn't that wonderful? A creature with a lower IQ than a kakapo who cannot solve a simple crime is denying a woman of basic human rights. I shall be on my way to the scene now, because some things women can handle best. I highly doubt you searched the crime scene carefully, too. Gloves? Obviously not, because they aren't currently on your hands. You probably already interfered with the data." I say cheerfully, walking in between both of the inspectors.

"Miss! You don't have permission to go in there!" Inspector bushy-face says, grabbing my wrist. I turn around, looking at him cheerfully.

"Will you please let go of me now?" I say, "You see, I have things to do."

"Yes, we all do." Ciel and Sebastian say, stepping forward. Inspector Sideburns sighs, before letting me go.

Sebastian and Ciel smirk, as they turn in the different direction, walking towards Lau and Madame Red. Oh great, we'll meet the Undertaker now! Isn't that wonderful, he's one of my absolute FAVORITE characters. Him and his oddities are always amusing...

We walk for a bit, before stopping in front of a store.

"So... where are we?" I ask, looking at Ciel.

"It's a funeral parlor run by an acquaintance of my lord's." Sebastian says, opening the door for all of us.

"Undertaker, are you here?" Ciel calls out to the dark, empty-of-people room, full of coffins.

"Hehehe...Welcome. I thought I'd be seeing you before long. My lord, it's so lovely to see you." A coffin slowly creaks open, revealing long, black fingernails. "Do I finally have the pleasure of fitting you for one of me coffins today?" A voice calls out, and everyone looks worried except I, as I raise my hand excitedly.

"Ooh, ooh! I want a coffin! Can it have wifi too, so anyone at my funeral who's bored can at least have something to do?" I say cheerfully, and Ciel glares at me.

"No, that isn't I am here... and neither is she. I wanted to-" Ciel starts, as the Undertaker puts his hand over Ciel's mouth.

"No need to say, I'm already aware. Very well aware. One of my recent customers was a bit unusual, shall we say. I helped though, I made her look beautiful again. And, strange purple haired girl, we'll take later." He says, grinning in my direction.

"Great!" I say cheerfully, and I get odd looks.

"I would like the details, please." Ciel demands, and Lau 'ahhs' in understandment. "I see now, so the funeral parlor is only your cover business. How much is it for information?" Lau asks, as the Undertaker grins, before running up to Lau's face as Lau leans backwards.

"I have no need for the Queen's coins, there's only one thing I want from you!" He runs up to Ciel than, who sweat drops. "Please, my lord, give it to me and I'll tell you anything! Give me the extraordinary gift of true laughter! Just one joke and all the information is yours!" The Undertaker pants excitedly like a dog, as Ciel sweat drops nervously.

"Lunatic..." Ciel mutters, and I clap excitedly, probably looking like a demented seal (Ciel).

"Oh, I cannot WAIT for these jokes!" I exclaim.

"Leave it to me, my lord. Here is my joke. It's a classic. On which side does a tiger have the most stripes? On the outside!" Lau says, holding up his finger, pointing to the sky. No one laughs.

Hell, I don't even get it!

"Get it? Haha? Haha..." Lau sweat drops, before backing away as Madame Red takes his place.

"My turn. I live for gossip, so this story will make you laugh so hard you'll simply curl up and die." Madame Red says, red glitter falling around her dramatically. "So, Alice's beau gave her the most extraordinary [CENSORED] for her birthday. It was [CENSORED] wide and so [CENSORED] with thick veins running down the sh[CENSORED] [CENSORED]!" Surprisingly, hearing it uncensored from the television wasn't as funny...but seeing Sebastian with his hands over Ciel's ears was.

"Miss..." The Undertaker says, looking at me.

"I'm Ivy Adams, but I go by Ivy!" I say cheerfully, "And my joke...eh. Okay, here it goes."

I walk up to the Undertaker, putting my hand by his ear.

"Okay, so a woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But, since they are twins if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''

The Undertaker thinks for a moment, before he starts chuckling, before chuckling loudly.

Truthfully, the joke wasn't that funny, but to the Undertaker, I guess it was.

"B-br-brilliant!" The Undertaker says, using his long sleeve to wipe away a tear from under his eye. "A while back, I had a funeral with 2 twins named Amal and Juan, it was hilarious! They were having a fight, and each one of them threw a brick at each other at the exact same time at the exact same spot on his head. So, if I only saw one get hit, I could see Amal too. Ha!" The Undertaker says, calming his laughter, and everyone sweat drops.


I'm sitting on a coffin comfortably, holding a beaker full of water in my hand, bone shaped cookie in the other. These cookies are pretty good!

"An interesting pattern I'm seeing these days. I often get customers who are incomplete." The Undertaker says, and Ciel arches a brow.

"Incomplete?" Ciel says, and I look at him.

"This usually means an important body part that most people of said gender have. Since we're talking about females, I presume it's the uterus? After all, women cannot live without the uterus." I say, looking at the Undertaker.

"Yes... the uterus is missing, which is quite odd. The killer makes a big mess of the body, but that particular part is always precisely excised." He says, stroking a doll of the human anatomy, and I nod in understandment. But, really, I already know this shit. I can't wait for the Viscount's party, though, it'll be hilarious! I'll think up a way for Madame Red to live...

"He did it on a road that was public, though not high traffic. Wouldn't an amateur have a difficult time carrying out such a complicated procedure quickly enough?" Sebastian questions, and the Undertaker grins.

"You're a clever one, butler. That is exactly what I was thinking." The Undertaker walks up to me, sitting next to me on the coffin. "You see, first he slits her throat with a sharp weapon," he says, putting one hand on my throat, "then he rips into it right here..." he puts his hand over where my uterus would be, and everyone's eyes widen. I just keep munching on my cookie, these are really good, "and takes that precious womanly part. There will be more slain, I'm certain. Sadistic killers like this one don't stop until someone makes them. So, little dog, what is your plan...?" The Undertaker says, and Ciel looks up at him.

"I'm bound by the honor of my family. I will eliminate any threat the Queen asks me to... by any means I find necessary. And, please, unhand my guest!" Ciel says, and the Undertaker moves his hands away from where they were on my body.

"Interesting, so the woman wouldn't be alive once her uterus was taken, to make sure there weren't possible survivors." I say, taking another bite of my cookie. "If, I may," I say, and everyone's eyes turn towards me, "may I inspect the body?"

Everyone's jaws drop, but the Undertaker just grins. "Certainly, Ivy. If anyone else wishes to come along, they may." The Undertaker says, standing up, as I follow suit.

"Noooooooo..." everyone says, backing away as they sweat drop. I shrug, "Works for me!" I say cheerfully, following the Undertaker to the back room.

The Undertaker passes me a black robe ("to not ruin your pretty dress, blood does not compliment purple"), and we head downstairs to where he keeps the body.

"Where shall I start?" I say, putting thick, sterilized leather gloves on my hand. I've done this multiple times in school a few years ago, and real-world experience may help. Well, a real-world experience in the 1800's, and I already knew the ending of this arc, and I've also done this plenty of times in a crime scene. But, this body's been touched, and if possibly tampered with.

I lift up her dress, and look down there. "Hmm, can I have a notepad please, and a pen?" I ask, and the Undertaker passes me a note pad and pen, which I nod in thanks.

"If a woman is raped, they typically have lacerations in their upper area at a 12 o' clock angle, but there's none anywhere, meaning the killer didn't do the deed before they killed the woman," I say out loud, as I write down my notes. "Meaning the killer is either A) a woman, B) gay, C) uninterested in sexual experiences, or D) all of the above."

"Interesting, so you're saying that the ripper didn't do anything to claim the woman before he killed her?" The Undertaker says, and I nod. "Precisely. Besides, there's no signs of the murderer even touching her slightly before." I say, examining her thighs and breast, before putting her outfit back in her respectful position.

"Thank you," I say, bowing respectfully to the corpse, before turning to the Undertaker, who has a serious look on his face.

"You have Death's Kiss on ya, don't ya? The Grim's curse, that is." he asks, and I nod. The Undertaker is an old reaper, I figured he might've known about me "Yes, it's a long story, but I'm in it for the long run now. I'll probably do a lot of things, though. Work on improving the world, that's my goals. If I may ask, how do you see it?" I say, taking off my gloves as I wash my hands.

"An experienced reaper can see it, because most Death's Kisses are pretty faint marks on your aura, where the eyelids are." The Undertaker says, and I nod in understandment. "Do you believe Grell can see it?" I ask, and the Undertaker's eyes under his bangs widen slightly.

"You noticed Grell's a shinigami?" He asks, and I nod. "Yup, he doesn't die easily, too, which confirmed my suspicions." I reply, and the Undertaker chuckles.

"Tto even notice one, you'd have to be a pretty old and experienced reaper.." He says with a chuckle, and I nod in understandment.

"Well, if you ever need anything, you're welcome to stay at my house if you ever need it. I have a shady feeling that the Queen's guard dog will be alive for a long while, and you might not want to be stuck with him forever like that demon bloke Sebastian." The Undertaker says, half smile on face, and I smile, half-heartedly.

"Thanks, I'll keep that offer in mind." I reply.


I walk back up the stairs to where everyone waited.

"Well, do you have any information to share with us?" Ciel asks, and I nod. "But, I'll do it at the mansion, it's easier explaining it there instead of here, I believe." I respond, and Ciel sighs.

"Fine, Sebastian, Ivy, let's return by my carriage, and Lau, Grell and Madame Red can go by their ow-"

"Can I trade carriage spots with you, Lau, please?" I ask, batting my eyelashes at Lau. Sebastian and Ciel sweatdrop, but Lau smiles.

"Of course, Ivy, I wouldn't mind swapping with you. Besides, I highly doubt that Sebastian has taught much information to Ciel on the female and male bodies together, so I'll take this as the opportunity to explain..."

"Of course I know that stuff!" Ciel says, face flushing red, and Lau and I both raise a brow.

"But he probably doesn't know what position is most pleasing to the females," Lau whispers in my ear, and I nod in agreement. "He probably doesn't know which hole either, poor boy." I whisper back, causing Lau and Sebastian to smirk.

"Well, I'll need to inform him of 'boy' things than, since no one else will." Lau retorts, standing up straight.

"Let's go!" I say, and Madame Red chuckles, as Grell leads us to our carriage, and I plop inside.

"Why didn't you stop Lau, Madame Red?" I ask, and she laughs lightly.

"Someone would have told Ciel eventually, better an experienced person than the ol' explanation!" She says, and I laugh in agreement.

The carriage starts moving, and my smile fades.

"Madame Red, I know you're Ciel's aunt, correct?" I ask, and she nods.

"Yes, I'm his aunt, mother's side." She responds, and I sigh.

"You work at a hospital, correct?" She nods, and I look her in the eyes, face going serious.

"You love Ciel very much so, correct?" I ask, and she nods.

"I love him like the child I've never had... I'm starting to view you as one too..." she says sadly, and I inhale. This was so sad, it wasn't her fault she couldn't have children.

"I'd just like you to know that Ciel cares for you very much, you seem to be like a motherly figure to him now. He speaks very highly of you, which is pretty great, knowing how stiff he can be." I say, and she chuckles.

"He used to be the brightest boy in the room, he'd always be smiling," Madame Red recalls, smiling at her feet as she recalls the past, "but than, the accident happened, and Ciel's never been the same."

"And, neither have you." I respond, and she looks up at me confused. "What do you mean?" She asks.

"I know you're the Ripper." I say, and she leans back. "How about...we make a deal." I say, and she raises a brow.

"I'm interested, so this is why you rode in this carriage." she says, before hitting the roof. "Go the long way!" She calls out, before turning towards me.

"Now, how did you figure out?" She asks, and I smirk.

"The body didn't have any lacerations in their womanly parts, meaning the woman wasn't raped or had done the deed before killed. You work as a medic for abortions, and the prostitutes are each being killed in order of the list. There's more information, but I'll cut to the chase," I say, leaning forward. "You stop killing these women, and I'll make sure that Sebastian and Ciel don't find out. I'll have all evidence pointing towards another person, so you'll be walking away freely. In return, no one gets hurt." I say, and she arches a brow.

"And why should I stop?" She asks.

"Because you will die, and Ciel will witness your death and be traumatized." I say bluntly, and she inhales sharply.

"Do you...wish to know the reason why I do these acts?" She says, and I nod.

"Because, these women are given gifts. Gifts to bear children, but they discard of these gifts without thought. I admit, I'm jealous of this, but why can't these women understand their consequences for their actions?! They come to me, asking for abortions without a thought. In a heartbeat, I'd trade places, just to have a child of my own!" She exclaims, and I put my hand on her knee, and she looks up at me confused.

"I believe Ciel views you as a motherly figure in his life," I say calmly, "he may act like he's annoyed, but he really cares. I care, too. You seem like a wonderful woman, and I really hope you stay in Ciel's life. Now, here's the deal. It requires little to no effort on both parts. All you and Grell have to do is stop killing, and stay in Ciel's life. I'll make sure Ciel and Sebastian don't find out. I already have an idea who to blame these killings on. And..." I lift my skirt up slightly, pulling out papers.

"What are those?" She asks, and I smirk.

"I have a set of papers, that may be of use to you, or you don't have to use them at all. Your choice." I say, holding up the set of papers.

"These are adoption forms from a local orphanage that no one usually adopts from, this orphanage usually has lots of babies and little kids, too. Though it may be scandalous to have children out of marriage, no one will question you because of your bad-assness." I say, passing her the set of papers.

"Why?" Madame Red asks, looking up at me with teary eyes. "Why are you being so...kind to me? You just told me you know I killed those women and took their ovaries, but you're still helping me."

I smile brightly at her, "Because everyone deserves kindness, and I really like and respect you as a person."

Madame Red wipes away her tears with the back of her hand, and she gives me a shaky smile.

"Though, you are correct it's scandalous to have children without being married, I appreciate the thought." Madame Red says, "And, maybe I'll consider adopting in the future, if I find a husband..."

"That's wonderful!" I say, reaching out to her, enveloping her in a hug. "Thank you!"

"Why are you thanking me? It's I who should be thanking you..." Madame Red responds, hugging me back.

"For your change of heart." I say, as the carriage pulls to a halt in front of the estate.

"Onto other manners, what about Grell, since I know he's your accomplice?" I ask, and she chuckles.

"He joined me for the same reasons, he couldn't bear children. I believe he wishes to be a female, instead of a male..." Madame Red says, trailing off in thought, as Grell comes to the door, opening it up for us as we step out.


We enter the mansion, and I see Sebastian awaiting us there, with a Lau and Ciel sitting in the background. Ciel is sitting as far away from Lau as possible, traumatized look on face, while Lau is smirking like crazy.

"I made a list of viable suspects while you ladies were on the way back," Sebastian says, smile on face. "I also made the afternoon tea, and hot chocolate for Miss Ivy."

"You made the suspect list already? Impossible, even for you!" Madame Red says, and Ciel's traumatized face morphs into a smirk. Sebastian presents a rolled up scroll, and unfurls it, long paper with written names flopping out. Sebastian's hair blows from non-existent wind, is he somehow related to Beyonce with the hair thing?!

"Richard Oswald, doctor of the Duke of Bailey was at the White Horse pub with his friends. He has no connection to secret societies. Madam Heavitt, surgeon at the Royal London Central Hospital was at the Stipple Inn. She has no connection to secret societies. William Somerset, doctor to the Earl Chambers was at a party hosted by the Viscount Harwood. From this information, I have narrowed down our list to one possible suspect." Sebastian says, leading us to the drawing room, where we sit down. I take a sip of my hot chocolate.

"Are you certain you're just a butler? Not a secret military intelligence officer?" Madame Red asks with a chuckle, and Sebastian closes his eyes, giving a smile.

"See, my lady, I am simply one hell of a butler."

THE AMAZING LINE! Yes! I absolutely love it when he says that!

"Now, I have a plan on how to get information, and reveal him." Sebastian says, and I hold back a squeal, this scene was hilarious!


I was in a carriage in a long, light purple matching ball gown with Ciel's, my hair stuffed under a long brown wig that was put in two twin braids. A frilly, light purple collar was on my neck, and a light purple hat adorned with roses was put on my head. I'm still glad Ciel got dressed up too...and thank god I didn't need a corset!

"The Viscount Druitt, also known as Aleister Chambers... He graduated from medical school, but has never gone into practice. Lately he's thrown several parties at his home. But behind the scenes at these same soirees are secret gatherings that only his intimates may attend." Sebastian explains, pushing up his librarian glasses.

"I've heard that he's into black magic and those occult sorts of things." Madame Red explains, and I nod in agreement.

"So your suspicion is that he's holding these parties to perform ritualistic sacrifices of local prostitutes?" Ciel asks, and Sebastian nods.

"Tonight is the last party of the Season. Which means this is our last chance." Sebastian says, as the carriage stops.

Ciel sighs, as the door is opened, and he steps out, looking agitated.

"Celia, smile!" I say, as I'm helped out the carriage too, giving a bright smile to the person who helped me out.

"Celia? And why do I have to wear a corset when you don't have to?" He complains, and I give a cheeky grin.

"Because my body is in tippity top shape, Celia, my darling sister! Of course, I care for you, since I'm elder."

Ciel sweat drops, as everyone gets out of the carriage. "You're only a year older!"

"Celia will be my niece visiting from the country, and Ivy is his sister. Sebastian will be Ciel's and Ivy's tutor." Madame Red explains, cutting off Ciel causing him to sweat drop.

"And just why do I have to act like your niece?! Ivy is here, she can be the girly-girl!" Ciel complains, cheeks blushing pink. Madame Red gives a closed-eye smile.

"Because, dear, I've always wanted a girl. And, two girls is better than one!" She says, and Lau smiles.

"You're kidding me!" Ciel complains, and I gasp.

"Celia, stop being rude to Auntie Red!" I say, and he puffs his cheeks out.

"Stop calling me Celia! And, what name do you have?!" he asks, face turning redder, and Madame Red looks at him.

"I'm...I'm Yvi (pronounced Evi)!" I say, and he sweat drops. "That's just Ivy backwards!" He complains.

"You don't want them to know you're a Phantomhive now, do you? Besides, I've heard that Lord Druitt has an eye for any pretty little thing in a skirt, and we do want to catch his eye, right?" Madame Red says, pulling out a black fan, as she ignores Celia's comments.

""By any means necessary," you do remember saying that, do you not, sir? First thing's first, we need to locate this murderous viscount." Sebastian says, smirk on face. God damn boi, he so hot in his glasses and outfit!

Eek! I cannot wait for the school arc!

"At least Elizabeth isn't here. I would never want her seeing me like this..." Ciel says, and I laugh.

"Speaking of the devil," I say, gesturing to Elizabeth on the other side of the room. Ciel sweatdrops, "You've got to be kidding me!" he says, and Sebastian, Ciel and I depart from that side of the room. Sebastian sweat drops.

"Sir... er, I mean, mistress, please calm down. Let's move quickly..."

"Oh! You in the pink, your dress is just beautiful!" Lizzy calls out from behind us, and I sigh.

"I've got this," I say, "escape while you can." I turn around, smiling brightly.

"Lizzy! I'm so glad you're here!" I exclaim, and her mouth opens in surprise.

"Oh Ivy, it's great to see you! You look absolutely adorable!" She says, "Is Ciel here?"

"Afraid not, I came here with Madame Red," I say, and she sighs in disappointment.

"Oh well, I'll see you later!" She says, before turning away, walking away. I sigh in relief, before turning around.

Where the heckle did Sebastian and Ciel go? Urgh!

Ballroom music starts playing, and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn to see a tall man, with white hair that's chin length, Dora bangs, two strands of hair long standing there. He is wearing a white coat, collar flipped up, revealing black underneath. This character seems familiar...

"May I have this dance, miss?" He asks, and I curtsy. "Certainly," I reply, and the man leads me in the waltz.

"Have we...met before?" I ask, looking up at him, and he smirks.

"I don't believe so, I'd remember meeting such a lovely lady. I'm Charles Grey. And you are...?" He asks, and I feel my eyes widen, this is freaking 1/2 of Double Charles! But...why is he here?

"Yvi, pleasure to meet you." I say with a smile, and he smiles back.

"Oh, so you're American?" He asks, and I nod. "Yes, I'm from California."

"You're quite lovely for an American," he says, and I laugh. "You're quite polite for a Brit." I respond, and his mouth opens in mock-shock.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" He asks, and I laugh, and he smiles at me. "Exactly what you were saying!" I respond, as we start to make small talk, before he looks away from me into the crowd.

"I have...matters to attend to now. I hope we meet again, Miss Yvi." he says bowing, stepping away from the dance floor.

"It was pleasant talking to you, you seem like an interesting person." I reply with a smile and a curtsy, and he smiles back, before turning and walking off. I look at the dance floor, and see Ciel being danced around by Sebastian.

"Hello, young Miss," I hear a silky voice say from behind me, and I turn and see the Viscount himself. "Your dancing is absolutely lovely, you danced like a beautiful peacock. Flaunting your power, and it's simply delightful." He says, taking my hand, kissing the back of my black glove.

"Oh, thank you," I say, blushing. Honestly, the only way I'm blushing right now is because I'm thinking of that scene with Ciel's corset and Sebastian...that always works for the fake blush. "This party is simply fantastic, Lord Druitt, but I tire of it."

He looks intrigued, "How so?" He asks, and I smirk. 9th grade year, AP seduction. I aced that class, it was pretty simple. For men, all you have to be is sexy. Women? Sexy AND smart.

"I'm sick of dancing with boring people, I fancy something more...exciting..." I trail off, playfully winking at him. His eyelids lower, "Oh...I see..." he says, taking his hand, putting it on my waist, holding my waist tightly.

I try to not shudder, and I put my hand on his hand around my waist, rubbing it slightly. "I want you to hold me in other places, other than my waist, Viscount..." I say, looking up at him with wide eyes that suggest mischief.

"My...you are such a temptress, aren't you... most Americans are so stiff. What is your name, little peacock?" he asks, and I look up at him with a half-lidded smile.

"My name doesn't matter, I just wish to know more about you, tell me everything, and show me everything while you're at it, Viscount." I say huskily, and he shudders in pleasure. God, this got men all the time. They just LOVE to inflate their already huge egos.

"Oh beautiful siren, why do you tempt me so?" he says, and I see a waiter walking towards us from the corner of my eye. Discretely, I trip him, as he pours champagne all over the pig Viscount.

"Oh dear me!" I say, rubbing my hands seductively over the Viscount's chest, "I suppose your clothes are ruined."

"Don't worry, my little peacock, I'll just get a change of clothes," The Viscount says, and I go in for the kill.

"I'll undress you, then," I say seductively, rubbing my hand slower on his chest. It beats faster, and I know I got the kill.

"Well, I'll keep you up to that promise, this way then," he says, guiding me towards the stairs, taking his hand and placing it on the small of my back. I feel someone's gaze on my back, and I turn and see Sebastian, looking at me. He nods at me, before turning back around.

The Viscount leads me to a guest room, where the air is hazy. Oh, I forgot about this scene, drats!

The last thing I see before I black out is the Viscount's smirking face.


I wake up to see a dark room? Blackness?

Oh wait, I'm just blindfolded. Rope is tied around my neck, which is connected to both of my hands in front of me.

"This little peacock is tonight's crown jewel," a voice announces, the damned Viscount's, in fact. I hate that pig so god damned much... the sound of a cloth being lifted, and the dark room I'm in seems a little less dark.

"I'm sure she'd make a lovely decoration, or sweet little pet. She has large breasts, and has silky soft skin. You can keep her whole and healthy. Or sell her for parts, if you'd like to. Her eyes are the color of the bright, blue sky, and sparkle like sapphires, and her long, brown hair glimmers like bronze."

"I'm also not in the mood to be sold, either!" I say loudly and cheerfully, and I hear gasps in the room. I move my hands apart, and the rope binding them snaps. Badly tied rope, bad quality rope too. I rip the blindfold from my eyes, and I see about 30 people in the room.

"Let's get this over with, the table full of food at this party was simply delightful, and I had no chance to eat!" I say, grabbing one of the metal bars of the bird-like-cage, and pushing forward, where it snaps in half. I then push it out, and I climb out of the cage, hearing gasps around the room.

Rolling my neck, I hear the satisfying crack.

"Ugh, this is going to be great, I haven't had any action for, like, a week!" I say, quickly turning around, hitting the pressure points on the Viscount's and assistant's necks, before I jump off the stage, and into the crowd.

"I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her," I rap, running around the floor of the stage, hitting the pressure points on the necks of the people.

You may be like, 'Damn Ivy?! Why you rappin while beating up people?'

Well, my dears, there's some missions I go on where they are so easy, I can fit a whole song in the time period it takes to beat them up. Also, it helps the author extend the chapter period, making the battle look more lengthy instead of just an instantaneous thing!

The people left started screaming and freaking out, running like chickens with their heads cut off. Sigh, they were ridiculous looking, as they tripped over the fallen over bodies.

"I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala" I hit the pigs on the outskirts of the crowd, as I mentally count who's left.

15 left.

"I wish I was like six-foot-nine
So I can get with Leoshi
'Cause she don't know me but yo she's really fine!" I sing, kicking a fat, old guy in the balls, as he falls to the ground clutching them. There's not much to clutch, actually...
"You know I see her all the time everywhere I go
And even in my dreams I can scheme a way to make her mine
'Cause I know she's livin phat," I say, hitting 5 people, before I look at the rest, who are holding up their hands defensively.
"Her boyfriend's tall and he plays ball
So how am I gonna compete with that?
'Cause when it comes to playing basketball
I'm always last to be picked
And in some cases never picked at all!" I sing, tripping a person who's running past me, as they face plant into the floor.
"So I just lean up on the wall
Or sit up in the bleachers with the rest of the girls
Who came to watch their men ball
Dag y'all! I never understood, black
Why the jocks get the fly girls and me I get the hood rats
I tell em "scat, skittle, scabobble"," I finish off 9 more, before my head turns to the last person left, a fatass.

"I-I'll do anything! Money! Fame! I'll give it to you, I'll get you a good marriage too, if that's what you want!" he says, and I chuckle, taking a step closer to him. He stumbles by the table in the back of the room, and takes the champagne bottle, throwing it at me. I side-step it, and look at him.
"(Almost) Got hit with a bottle
And I been in the hospital for talkin' that mess
I confess it's a shame when you living in a city
That's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
Glad I came to my senses," I hit the pressure point, and he falls to the ground.
"Like quick-quick got sick-sick to my stomach
Overcommeth by the thoughts of me and her together
Right? So when I asked her out she said I wasn't her type!" I take the female bodies, lying them next to each other on the ground. I may have accidentally stepped on a girl's hand...oops.

"I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala!" I finish putting the males bodies next to each other, and I dust off my hands together, pulling out a sticky note from my pocket along with a pen.

"This..dickweed...owns this...black market...which has...human trafficking...and takes women's...uterus from them. Bam!" I say, writing out each word before slapping the sticky note on his forehead.

"That was easy enough! See you guys next week for bingo at the old people home!" I say, as I look around the room, no door, but there's a window...

I walk to the window, and I swing it open, looking down. I'm 3 stories up...this won't be too hard.

I back up from the window, before I inhale, than exhale. I haven't done this since I escaped from the mission in 10th grade where I was being chased by a vicious rottweiler!

Hey, I didn't escape unscathed, it took my bag of Doritos!

I run towards the window, placing my hands on the window sill, and I push my self outwards as I jump out the window. My hand goes up to my head incase the wig flutters off, before I roll on to the hard bricks of the patio.

Standing up, I look around me, but no one is there...thank go-

"Where did you just fall from, strange woman?" A voice says, and I turn around to see the other Charles.

"Oh, I just jumped out of a window!" I say cheerfully, sticking my hand out. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm not interested with petty, American women." He says, and I arch a brow. How was I acting petty? I literally just jumped out of a window!

"Well, go check upstairs, because that's where the black market is going on. Third floor..." I point up at the window I just jumped from. "That room, right there! Don't worry, I put all of them to sleep, and organized them by gender already, so don't stress out too much! By the way, the Viscount's the Ripper too!" I say cheerfully, and I dust myself off. I look up at him, and his jaw is slightly open.

"Well, I'd recommend having Scotland Yard picking everyone up and arresting them in the upstairs room. I'll be off now!" I say, walking away from him to the stairs leading down the balcony.

"W-wait!" He calls out, but I continue walking down the stairs. "Wait up, woman!" He calls out, but I turn around, walking down the stairs backwards.

"Well, I shan't stop, since I am a petty American woman after all. Laters my dude!" I say cheerfully, before turning back around, walking down to the front courtyard, to where a carriage awaits.

"Excuse me sir, can you take me to the Phantomhive's London Estate?" I ask the person there.

"Sure, m'am, get in," he says, and I nod gratefully. "Thank you, sir!" I say, before getting in the carriage, where it starts moving away from the mansion, where a baffled Charles, 30 pressure pointed people, a cutely dressed Lizzy, a Ciel who wanted to get out of the corset already, and a confused Sebastian who was wondering when Miss Ivy would call out to him. All of these 'pawns' sat there, waiting for what would happen next.