The party approached faster in the next week and maybe it was because my attention was elsewhere. For the days after he proposed I had thought of nothing but Jesse. Every time I saw him I would smile and when I was alone he would sneak up and kiss me, or hold my hand under the table. And during all that we were supposed to keep Spencer's party a secret.
Maria started showing signs of stress three days before the party. She would disappear for hours taking trips to town or walking locking herself in her room. Spencer never paid any attention. He just went on his hunts or wrote in his journals. The night before the wedding Maria knocked on my door. Expecting it to be Jesse I tousled my hair and bit my lip.
"Maria!" I said and the smile fell. "What's wrong?" She pushed past me and told me to shut the door.
"I'm going out of my mind Susanna." She said and tears leaked from her eyes.
"What's wrong?" I sad sitting beside her on the bed and offering my shoulder.
"I have so much to do tomorrow and still have no idea how to get Spencer out of the house."
"I…we…What about a hunting trip?"
"He's gone three times this week. He wont go again…unless…" She sat up and looked at me.
"Unless what?" I asked feeling uncomfortable by her instant smile.
"You could ask him."
"Ask him to what?"
"He adores you so he would say yes and I don't think he would think anything of it." She said standing up and pacing in front of me.
"What are you talking about?"
"Of course you would need to think of a good reason." She frowned as she paced and I grabbed her hand.
"Maria, what are you talking about?"
"I want you to ask Spencer to take you hunting in the morning." She said.
"Hunting?" I said studying her face and then I laughed. "Maria, women don't hunt."
"Women don't sleep with dogs, the four legged kind of course, but you do." I looked at Lucan sprawled on his back beside me.
"Sorry about that… I tried." I said and she shook her head.
"I need you to ask him."
"But what do I say?" I said and she smiled as if I had said yes.
"Tell him that you need to learn how to protect yourself. Because you live at home by yourself don't you?" Not for long, I thought and then shook my head.
"My brother is there. He does all the hunting."
"Well don't tell him that. Tell him that you are tired of having to go into town to get your meat. He'll believe that." She said and opened the door.
"But…but…"
"Thank you so much Susanna." She said and left the room, nearly walking into Jesse who just jumped into the shadows to avoid being seen. I left the door open and quickly shut it when he dashed in. He jumped onto the bed and gave Lucan a pat on the chest before he turned to me. He grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him, kissing my neck.
"Good thing I waited an extra three minutes or I would've been caught."
"Yes well…she surprised me too." I said struggling to think of anything but his lips on my neck and his hands touching my legs.
"What did she want?"
"She wants me to distract Spencer." I said and he stopped moving. He looked up at me and I burst out laughing. "Not like that!" I said and he shrugged.
"Given the current situation, can you blame a poor fool for misunderstanding you?"
"I suppose I should explain things in simpler terms for you. She wants me to take him hunting."
"But you don't know how to hunt." He said his lips moving my nightgown apart to reveal more of my chest.
"Yes and that's why she thought I would be the perfect distraction." I said and he groaned.
"You are a distraction that's for sure." He said his mouth almost at my breast. I pushed him away playfully and straightened my nightgown.
"I'm going to give you the same answer that I gave you last night and the night before." I smirked at him and he shrugged.
"A fellow ought to try." He said kissing me softly before climbing into the bed. I laid my head down on his chest and drifted off to sleep thinking of the next morning's events.
I awoke to the sound of a knock on the door. I blinked at the dull light and rolled over. Lucan stood at the door wagging his tail. I needed to teach him to open doors so I wouldn't have to get out of bed. I stumbled to the door and opened it. Maria stood holding clothes out to me.
"What are they?" I asked taking them.
"Hunting clothes." She said smiling brightly. "You'll look brilliant in them."
"Their men's hunting clothes." I said feeling the trousers.
"Women don't hunt Susanna." She smiled. "Now when he gets back send Isabelle to me. I'll meet him at the front of the house so you can go in and change without being seen. I'll give him the surprise, but unfortunately you will miss it."
"That's alright." I said rubbing my face.
"Promise you wont say anything."
"I promise." I blinked at her and she kissed my cheek.
"He'll be ready in 10 minutes. Will that give you enough time?" She asked and I nodded. "Thank you!" She kissed me again and disappeared down the hallway.
"That was close." Jesse said causing me to jump.
"You're still here?" I said and smirked as he stood up from lying on the floor beside my bed.
"I fell asleep too. You have to wear these?" He asked standing beside me.
"I don't even know where to start." I said laying the close out like I would one of my dresses."
"Want me to help you? He said brushing back my hair and kissing my neck.
"No get out of here!" I said and swatted him as he pinched me. I kissed him goodbye and watched him run through the forest before I tackled the clothes. There was soft brown trousers that were tight and warm, a long white shirt and a black vest. The white shirt stuck out of the vest and no matter which way I put it on, the shirt could be seen. I put on the black boots and tied my hair into a long braid. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. The clothes were my size but I felt like I was trying to be something I was not. Even Lucan looked at me funny, as if he were laughing at me.
I opened the door and walked down the hallway trying to hide how revealing these trousers made me feel. They clung to ever curve to the lower half of my body and the shirt kept drooping down to reveal more cleavage than any of my dresses. Maria caught sight of my and chuckled.
"You're supposed to tie this up." She said grabbing the strings at the front of the shirt and tying them.
"I hope you appreciate this!" I groaned and she smirked as she fixed my clothes. Spencer and Jesse came through the door just as she was finishing and my cheek heated up.
"Ready?" He asked and Jesse winked at me.
"I guess so." I said looking at Maria.
"Great, Jesse has agreed to go with us." Spencer said with a bright smile. I silently groaned and scowled at him.
"Great." I snapped and headed out the door.
"So what would be the first thing to teach you?" Spencer said as we started off across grass to the forest. "I guess it would be to never shoot when you are close to a house, for you might accidentally shoot someone."
"Of course." I said and he smiled. "But how do you know where a good spot is?"
"Normally I walk for 30 minutes in that direction." He said pointing through the trees.
"How do you know which way you are going?" Jesse said dodging a branch.
"I don't…the dogs do though. They are my way home too." He said giving me a wink and I smiled.
An hour later Jesse and Spencer were teaching me how to hold the gun. Not how to shoot it, how to hold it!
"You have to raise you're arm like this Susanna." Jesse said.
"And use this eye to aim. Look through here." Spencer said.
"Why are you shaking? Cold?" Jesse asked.
"It's probably too heavy for her. There's a reason why women don't hunt." At that I pulled the trigger and a loud shot broke the silence. I fell backwards into Jesse's chest and the two of them stood silently.
"Well did I do it right?" I asked looking at them, trying to ignore my shaking hands and ringing ear. They looked up ahead of me and neither one spoke. Lucan barked happily and picked something up before he raced back to me. "I shot something?" I said happily as the white animal flopped in Lucan's mouth. When he placed it at my feet I cringed.
There in the bright green grass was a big white fat rabbit. And in the middle of it's forehead was a large whole dripping blood. Jesse patted Lucan's head and the two of them bent down to the rabbit.
"Poor thing." I said, touching it's fur gently. Spencer and Jesse exchanged a look before they looked at me. "What?"
"You shot a rabbit in the head!" Jesse said.
"Is that bad?" I asked.
"No, that's excellent. Amazing for your first try. Are you sure you have never done this before?" Spencer said and I couldn't help but smile.
"Never. I had three brothers so I was never needed to hunt."
"I'd be careful if I were you son. She's a sharp shooter." Spencer said to Jesse and he smirked. Apparently our love was no longer a secret.
"I'll keep one eye open when I sleep from now on." Jesse joked and I shook my head.
"What do we do with it?" I asked looking at the bunny. Lucan barked and his mouth drooled. "No we cant…."
"Yes now we eat it." Spencer said reaching into his rucksack and pulling out a small iron pot.
"We eat it here?" Jesse asked.
"Might as well give Maria extra time to get everything ready." Spencer said taking a knife out of his bag and picking up the rabbit. Jesse and I exchanged glances and I swallowed.
"Get what ready?" I said.
"I know about the party. Heck I've known about it for months now." He said and laughed at our expressions. "That woman is about as subtle as a black horse in the snow." We laughed and I avoided looking as Spencer skinned the rabbit. The smell of the iron in the blood turned my stomach and I had to get away.
"I'm going to look for firewood." I said, standing up and wiping my palms on my legs. It felt like they were stained with the blood of this animal.
"I'll come with you." Jesse said.
"No, I can find firewood. Come on Lucan." I said and headed for the woods. I heard Spencer mumble something to Jesse and then they both erupted in laughter, but I didn't worry about it. I was just trying to get as far away as possible. When I could no longer see or hear the two of them I grabbed hold of a tree and vomited. I would never go hunting again!
"You have to pretend that you still don't know!" I said as we came through the trees and the house appeared. I had sent Isabelle off already and Maria was coming out from the front door. She had a huge smile on her face and she wore her best dress. It was a soft green colour with gold edges. Her blonde hair was in a loose bun and had a golden headband with tiny green emeralds in it. She really wasn't very subtle. I shook my head and Jesse snorted.
"You're back." She said embracing her husband.
"You act like I've been off at war." Spencer chuckled and her face fell.
"Don't joke about war. You know with everything going on there could be a war." She said.
"What?" I said looking from face to face.
"It's nothing." Jesse said with a shrug.
"Yes I wouldn't worry about it Susanna. Just some trouble with the French…again." Spencer chuckled and Maria linked her arm through his.
"Dear breakfast is being served in the garden this morning." She said smiling at me.
"We already ate." Spencer said and her smile dropped.
"Oh, I…well come out and sit with me anyways." She said and led him through the front door. "We'll meet you out there." She said as I opened my bedroom door. I smiled and nodded and then disappeared inside.
A dress was already laid out for me, but it wasn't one that I had brought with me. It was new. I touched it gently and noticed that it was the same fabric as the blue dress the king had given me, though different in everyway. The dress was heavier, with a white bodice and sleeves that had teal flowers, vines and leaves stitched onto it. The skirt was also white with the teal flower pattern, but had a silk teal overskirt that never fully connected at my navel to show the white skirt underneath. The puffy shoulders were made of the same material and the neckline was square, just slightly off my shoulders with white lace trim. I would not have been able to put the dress on if Eliza's sister Lisa hadn't knocked on the door. She helped tie the dress, barely speaking a word. When she was done she bowed and left the room. I blinked at the spot where she had just stood and wondered if that actually just happened.
Since putting my hair up required someone else to do it for me, I left my hair down. I pinned it up half way and let the curls lie against my back. I looked at myself in the mirror and pinched my cheeks. I ran my hands over the beautiful dress and then left the room. There was laughter and music coming through the back door and I instantly smiled, imagining Maria's happy face.
I walked out the door onto the stone patio and took in the hundred guests that were present. There were people all over the place that I wondered if the garden was even big enough to hold this many people. I smiled at an older couple who were gossiping about someone and made my way to get a drink.
"He was so surprised." Maria said linking her arm through mine. "Thank you." I smiled at her.
"It was my pleasure." We looked around at the guests and I smiled. "There are a lot of people here."
"Being the Duke and Duchess requires us to invite almost everyone of nobility." She said as she nodded to a man who walked by. "It's exhausting." I laughed.
"Why did you throw such a formal party then?"
"It's expected of me." She said and when I shook my head with confusion she smiled. "When you marry into the courts you will understand." I smiled at her and glanced at Jesse who was talking with the king's cousin, Paul. I wasn't sure if he had told, but Maria's comment made it obvious that she knew something.
"Did he tell you?" I whispered furiously and she stared at me with a shocked expression.
"Did he tell you?" she asked. I shook my head and smiled.
"We talked about it."
"So you know already?" She said with stunned expression. Then she smiled and kissed my cheek. "Well I will pretend that I know nothing so you can tell me when he officially asks you." She said and floated away. I stared at her with wonder. She so easily could join a conversation without seeming rude or disruptive. People naturally loved her and wanted to talk to her.
"She's something don't you think?" a deep voice whispered in my ear and made my knees shake.
"Your Highness!" I said and bowed low to the ground. He chuckled and grabbed my hand and gave it a light kiss.
"How are you liking your stay here?" He said looking up at the stone house.
"I love it. It is different then home though." I said and he nodded.
"And the party?"
"It's…interesting. I see how much work it takes to plan one of these parties. Maria has been stressed out for days." He smiled and took a sip from the goblet in his hand.
"Could you get used to this?" He asked looking around the garden.
"Get used to what?"
"This." He said his hand roaming over the garden.
"I…I imagine so." I said and felt my stomach flutter. Jesse must have told a lot of people, but I was afraid to say anything in case people were just speculating. A older man and woman passed us and smiled brightly bowing to the king. He smiled and nodded his head, and I copied him. Then I became aware of how many people were looking at us; how many were all muttering my name and the king's in one sentence. I blushed furiously and turned towards the wine bottles. I poured myself a full glass and took a big sip. Adam laughed and moved closer to me.
"Be careful, these people are vicious." He said and I smiled. "Jess!" I turned around and noticed that Jesse now stood next to me. He smiled brightly at his friend and the two shook hands. "You've been gone for so long I almost forgot how ugly you are." Adam said and Jesse laughed.
"You've gotten fatter. Stress eating again?" At this Adam's smile faltered and he looked out over the garden. "What is it? Has something happened?" Jesse asked moving closer and speaking so low I could barely hear him.
"Let's not ruin such a good party with talk of war." Adam said and smiled at me. Jesse studied his friends expression and not satisfied with what Adam had said turned to me.
"Susanna," his hand touched my lower back. "Would you mind excusing us for a moment?"
"No, of course not." I smiled and curtsied again to Adam and smiled at Jesse before I made my way through the garden. I found Jane and James sitting on a bench under a tree. They were watching everyone with a nervous expression. They both smiled brightly when they saw me. "Hello."
"Susanna!" Jane said and jumped up to hug me. "Thank goodness you came over here."
"Why?"
"Because she's too afraid to talk to anyone." James said kissing my cheek. I laughed.
"That's silly."
"All my life I have been told to serve and not talk, and here I'm not allowed to serve and have to talk. So I've forced James to sit with me." She said and looked up at her future husband who rolled his eyes.
"Well I'll sit with her now James. You can go and mingle with the guests if you chose." We shared a smile and I sat on the bench beside Jane.
"He's truly wonderful." She gushed and I smiled.
"His love for you is very clear." I said and she blushed. "So where will you live?"
"We are not sure yet." She said looking down at the pink flowers on her summer dress. The fabric was faded and I could tell she was self conscious about it. I smiled and patted her hand and she looked up with tears in her eyes. "What is it Jane?"
"I…I…I don't know. I'm so emotional these days." She said pulling a handkerchief from her sleeve. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and her rested her head.
"It'll be alright. I'm sure you'll find a lovely place to live."
"I have a confession." She said and sat up straight. She stared at the handkerchief in her hands and tears poured down her face. "I'm with child." I blinked at her and couldn't speak. But after a moment I sighed and grabbed her hand.
"Is that why you are getting married?"
"No, but now we have to rush to get married." She sobbed. "It's going to be in three weeks. I can't have the wedding I've always dreamed about now."
"Sure you can…just have it in three weeks." I said trying to be optimistic. But the reality is that the amount of money it takes to get married would be impossible to raise in three weeks. "I'm still coming to your wedding." I said and she looked up at my brightly. "I wouldn't miss it." She sobbed and hugged me tightly. When she let go I smiled.
"A baby! That's so exciting." I said ands she smiled.
"James is more excited than I am." She wiped the tears away and blew her nose.
"I'll bet it's a girl." I said smiling. "I remember my mother saying that girls are more trouble then boys and you can always tell by how much the mother cries when carrying the child. It prepares her for the heartache in later years." I said and we both chuckled.
"You think it would be the other way around." Adam said appearing in front of me. Jane and I bowed our heads and he copied us.
"I'm sorry Jane, but I must steal Susanna away. There are some people I want you to meet."
"I can't leave Jane here." I whispered as his hand gently grabbed my arm. He studied my face for a moment and then smiled.
"I forgot. You care about other people." He said and gave me a wink. "Jane you may come along if you wish." She looked at me and I smiled. Then she jumped up and followed behind us. He led us to his cousin Paul and a woman with dark black hair and bright blue eyes. She was beautiful and I couldn't look away.
"Paul, you remember Susanna?" Adam said and offered me to his blonde evil cousin.
"Pleasure to see you again miss." I curtsied and offered my hand to the woman beside him. She stared at me shocked and never moved. Paul bursted out laughing and clapped Adam on the shoulder. "You've got quite the catch dear cousin." He said and then walked away. The woman smiled slightly and looked embarrassed before she followed behind him.
"What did I do wrong?" I asked when I saw Adam's uncomfortable expression.
"She is his mistress." He whispered, offering me his arm. "He found her at the local whorehouse three years ago and bought her."
"He bought her!" I said causing people to look in our way. Adam smiled brightly and nodded at the curious onlookers.
"Not officially, but he pays for her wardrobe, food and she lives in his house." I swallowed the bitter taste in my mouth and watched the girl.
"I heard that she's only 14." Jane added from behind and I stared at her shocked.
"She's just a baby."
"No three years ago she was a baby. Now she's a woman." Adam said, as if this were the norm. My dislike for Paul grew into hatred and I could feel my face heat with anger when I thought of him.
"Your highness." The next couple caught my attention and I smiled. They were older, maybe my father's age.
"Lord and Lady Dodsworth, this is Miss Susanna of London. She's Spencer's niece, visiting for the month." They studied my shocked smile and curtsied.
"I never knew that Spencer had a niece." Lady Dodsworth said, smiling but eyeing me suspiciously.
"She's been abroad in Spain and Italy as a lady in waiting for the queen." Adam spoke as naturally as if this were the truth. I was afraid to look at him so I stuck the smile on my face and didn't look anywhere else but at Lady Dodsworth's fur trimmed dress. It was a peculiar choice for the spring. It was dark black with long sleeves and fur on the neck and sleeves. She must've been extremely hot in that dress.
When Adam excused us I led him into the house and Jane disappeared into the kitchen, while I pushed him into the parlor.
"Why did you say that?" I asked closing the door behind me.
"Say what?" he said running his finger along the edges of one of Spencer's books.
"All of those things; those lies!" I grabbed his hand, to make him focus on me. "None of that is true." He studied my hand and never spoke. I realized what I had done and dropped his hand as if it burned me. He gently grabbed mine and kissed it.
"I know you don't like it, but it is a surprise." He smiled. "Trust me, it'll benefit you in the end."
"I don't want to be made out as a liar." I said looking at the ground. He gently touched my chin and lifted it.
"Would I do that to you?" He said, his brown eyes studying mine. They quickly glanced at my lips and then he smiled. "I have something for you." He said and reached into his chest pocket. He pulled out a long blue box with a gold bow on the top and handed it to me. I smiled at him.
"That must've been awkward to carry around." I joked and he smiled.
"You have no idea." He passed it to me. "Open it." I gently lifted the lid off and inside was a large round gold pendant on a gold chain. On the front of the pendant was the coat of arms only it had been changed. It had the three lions, passed down by King Richard, the lionhearted, and the ancient arms of France passed down through King Edward the III. Then there was a sun rising from the top of the shield and two wheat-ears on either side of the shield. In the middle of the shield was a swan. I looked up at him and studied his face.
"Open it." He whispered with a smile. So I picked up the pendant and noticed a latch on the side. I turned it and the pendant, or locket as I discovered, popped open. Inside was a portrait of the king. I pulled it closer to my face and studied the small canvas.
"That's amazing." I said, looking up at the resemblance. "This artist is a wonder, to paint something this small." I said studying it.
"I want you to wear it always, and no that you hold a special place near my heart as well." He said and I smiled at him. He took the locket from my hands, clipped in closed and put in over my head, so I rested on my shoulders. The locket hung just above my navel and we both laughed.
"Apparently your closer to my stomach than my heart." I said and he smiled at me. Then there was a knock on the door and Jesse came in.
"Promise to wear it always?" He said, his voice very serious.
"I promise." I said smiling and he smiled back.
"What's going on?" He asked with a smile. "Conspiring against me?"
"Of course not!" I said tucking the locket into my dress.
"No dear friend." Adam said patting Jesse on the shoulder.
"Well dinner is about to be served." He said holding his arm out to me. There was a flicker in Adam's eye but he smiled and lead the way to the patio. The cold locket touched my bare skin and set a shiver through my body.
"Stop!" I said pushing Jesse away from me and catching my breath.
"I don't know why you stop me all the time. We're going to be married." He said laying on my bed beside me. The soft glow of the candles made his face so much more distinguished and I had the urge to kiss him again. Instead I lay down beside him and copying his position, with his hands behind his head. He looked over and chuckled. Then his eyes fell on the locket and he sat up.
"What's this?" He asked and I looked down at the lump on my chest from the locket under my dressing gown.
"A gift." I said and he gently grabbed the chain and watched the locket slide out from my gown.
"An expensive gift." He said grinning.
"From the king." I said smiling and watched his face. He smiled at he looked at it, but then his smile faded and his brows furrowed. A second ago he was the happiest man, but now he looked like he could kill someone.
"When did he give this to you?" Jesse snapped.
"In the parlor today before dinner." I said sitting up. "Why what's wrong?"
"What's going on Susanna?" He asked clenching his fist around the locket as if he were trying to crush it to pieces.
"Nothing. I don't know what your talking about. It's just a locket." I said struggling to take it from him.
"Take it off." He snapped and I blinked at him.
"No."
"Take it off!" He said again and I pushed his hands away when he tried to take it from me.
"No! I made a promise and I'm going to keep it. What is wrong with you? It's just a stupid locket!" I said and he blinked at me. Lucan, now accustomed to being kicked off the bed looked up at us with curiosity. Jesse sighed and rubbed his face.
"You're right, just a stupid locket." He said and looked sadly at me. "I'm sorry."
"I don't know why you got so mad." I said as he kissed my hands.
"I know. It's hard to explain." He frowned at the locket and I slipped in under my dress.
"Look you cant even see it." I said smiling and kissing him. He never said another word, but he stopped kissing me and was quiet for the rest of the night.
