Opening Montage

Music: "Who Says You Can't Go Home" by Bon Jovi, featuring Jennifer Nettles

First shot is Quinn seated on a train. Jim takes the seat next to her and they start talking. Cut to a shot of Quinn and Jim's wedding five years later. Then cut to a hospital room a few years later and we see an exhausted Quinn and smiling Jim holding newborn triplets. Cut to present day and we see the now nine-year-old triplets. Teddy is reading a book while Tommy and Timmy fight over the video game controller. Cut to Teddy rolling his eyes disdainfully at his immature brothers. Next, cut to a shot of Jim working on a car while a tripod mounted camera records the whole thing. Next shot is Quinn making a S'mores 'n' Pores video in the kitchen. Next shot is Jim chatting with Jamie, Chuck and Kevin over beer while Brittany and Daryl make out in the background. Next shot is Jamie teaching a history class at Lawndale High. He notices that the current quarterback is making out with his cheerleader girlfriend in class, causing Jamie to have a DeMartino-style meltdown. Next, we see Teddy hanging out on the playground with a girl his age who is visibly of mixed European/East Asian heritage. They watch the 'normal' kids play with visibly disdain, implying that this girl is the Jane to Teddy's Daria. Next, we see Quinn, Jim and the triplets stand on the front lawn and smile at the audience. The following caption appears under them...

Lawndale

S. 2, Ep. 18

"Take Me Out at the Ball Game"

Act I

Scene 1

Ext. Shot: A street in Lawndale, evening

Music: "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate

I believe in miracles

Where ya from

You sexy thing

We see a fully restored 1975 Cadillac Sedan DeVille with a gold paint job and black vynl roof speeding down the street.

Int. Shot: The car

Jim's uncle, Vito Carbone, is driving while a scantily clad brunette in her 20's (not his wife) rides shotgun. This woman was wearing a denim mini-skirt that barely covers her thong panties and a tube-top that's so tight that it's a minor miracle her boobs don't pop out. Obviously, this woman is a prostitute. Vito has one hand one the steering wheel while the other holds an open bottle of Jack Daniels and a lecherous grin on his face. He takes a swig of whiskey as he continues to drive.

Vito: "Awright! Not tha's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"

Prostitute: "Careful, stud. You don't wanna get whiskey dick."

Vito grins as he gets an idea.

Vito: "Why don' ya keep me nice an hard, then?"

Prostitute: "My pleasure."

She lays in Vito's lap. Camera stays on Vito's face, so we don't see what the hooker's doing but we do hear the unzipping of Vito's pants. A few seconds later, the self-indulgent, dirty old man groans in pleasure.

Vito: "OOOOHH, YEAH! Ya got a magic mouth, sweetheart!"

He takes another swig of whiskey.

Ext. Shot: The street

We see the Cadillac start to move eratically as the combination of booze and fellatio is clearly affecting Vito's driving. The car narrowly misses a parked police car, but Vito clearly did not notice as he just continues to drive on, swerving eratically the whole time.

Int. Shot: Police car

The cop eyes the Cadillac that nearly hit him.

Cop: "Yep, that guy's gotta be drunk."

Ext. Shot: The street

The cop turns on the siren and chases Vito down. Suddenly, Vito runs his car off the road and crashes into a mailbox. The cop comes to a stop behind Vito's car and exits his own. The cop makes his way to the driver's side of the Cadillac and taps the window. Vito opens the window in response.

Cop: "Sir, have you been drinking?"

Vito: "No."

The cop doesn't believe him, especially when he sees the now empty bottle of Jack. Unfortunately for Vito, the cop also sees the hooker.

Cop: "Who's she?"

Vito looks like a kid who'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.


Scene 2

Ext. Shot: Lawndale Police Station, morning

Int. Shot: a holding cell

A visibly hung-over Vito sat on a bench and sighed. Suddenly, the cell door opens. Cut to the door and we see the guard accompanied by Jim.

Guard: "Your bail's been paid, Mr. Carbone, you're free to go."

Cut to Vito smiling, then cut to Jim giving his uncle a stern look.

Ext. Shot: The street, day

Music: "Don't Get Me Busted" by The Donnas

I've been bad

So don't get me busted

'Cause he'll never know

If you don't get me busted.

We see Jim's Camaro driving down the street.

Int. Shot: Jim's Camaro

A visibly irritated Jim drives while Vito rides shotgun. As Jim drives, he reads his uncle the riot act.

Jim: "DUI, vandalism, sexual solicitation. Uncle Vito, what the hell!?"

Vito: "Thanks for bailin' me out, Jimmy." Pause. "Um...You're not gonna tell Lizzie 'bout this, are yas?"

Jim shakes his head.

Jim: "No, but only because I don't wanna get sucked into the drama that's sure to follow. I'm already in the doghouse with Quinn because of this."

Vito: "Wha's her problem? Your wife on her period or somethin'?"

Jim is slightly offended by the sexist remark.

Jim: "No, but she's sick of seeing me pull your ass out of trouble. Says all I'm doing is enabling your reprehensible behavior by doing that."

Vito: "An' I really appreciate that." Pause. "Hey, Jim, since your brother's a cop an' your wife's hot, I know youse guys got a lotta pull wit' the cops in this town. I was wonderin' if..."

Jim immediately cuts him off.

Jim: "No!"

Vito is visibly disappointed.

Vito: "Whaddaya mean no!?"

Jim: "Dammit, Uncle Vito, I'll pay your bail and cover your ass with your wife, but I'm not using what pull I have with the police department to get the charges dropped!"

Vito: "But, Jim, I'm lookin' at drunk driving, reckless endangerment, destruction o' property an' soliciting a whore...an' it's hardly my first offense on all four o' those things! I could end up in jail this time!"

Jim: (stern) "You shoulda thought of that before hiring a hooker to blow you while you drive totally wasted!"

Vito: (desperate) "Aw, c'mon, Jimmy!"

Jim: "No, not this time! This time, you're gonna go before that judge and take what's coming!"

Vito gulps with dread.


Scene 3

Ext. Shot: Casa Carbone, a few days later.

Int. Shot: The home office.

Quinn was at her computer. Cut to her POV and we see that she's on her YouTube account and in the process of uploading the latest S'mores 'n' Pores video. Cut back to third person as we hear the front door open and close. A few seconds later Jim enters the office dressed in a sharp business suit as he'd just attended Uncle Vito's hearing. Quinn looks up.

Quinn: "Hey, Jim, how'd the hearing go?"

Jim sighs before answering.

Jim: "Well, Uncle Vito tried to use me as a character witness...and was disappointed by my unwillingness to commit perjury on his behalf."

Quinn smirks.

Quinn: "How long's he gonna be in county?"

Jim: "He's not going to jail. The judge suspended his license for six months, slapped him with a ten-thousand-dollar fine and sentenced him to 200 hours of community service."

Quinn: "Well, someone like Uncle Vito would probably find that last one more strenuous than prison, so I'll take it."

Jim sighs.

Jim: "Quinn, we both know how Uncle Vito usually fulfills his community service obligations. He's the one sentenced, but I'M the one who's gonna actually be putting in those hours."

Quinn rolls her eyes.

Quinn: "Jim, stop enabling him!"

Jim rolls his eyes in turn.

Jim: "Quinn, he's family! The fact that Uncle Vito's a disgusting hedonist doesn't change that."

Quinn: "So, he commits a crime and YOU'RE the one who has to take the punishment!? Jim, you're his nephew, not a whipping boy!" Pause. "You know, if he'd gotten jail time from this then I bet YOU'D end up being the one who spends the next few months getting butt raped everytime you take a shower!"

Jim sighs as his wife has a point.

Jim: "Quinn, I get it. That's why I insisted he suffer some consequences this time. Frankly, I'm sick of always having to clean up the mess when my uncle does something really stupid. As soon as he tries to sweet talk me into doing his service for him, I'm gonna straight up tell him no."


Int. Shot: The kitchen, a few days later.

Jim is on the phone.

Jim: "Of course I'll do it, Uncle Vito!"

Quinn sees this and is instantly pissed.

Quinn: (thought VO) So much for saying no!

Jim: "Glad to help...Bye!"

Jim hangs up and turns to face his wife.

Quinn: "You just agreed to do Uncle Vito's community service for him, didn't you?"

Jim: "Yes and no."

Quinn raises an eyebrow.

Quinn: "What do you mean 'yes and no'?"

Jim proceeds to explain.

Jim: "Uncle Vito's going to fulfill his community service by starting a neighborhood baseball club. Something like a hobby organization for amateur ball players, like Little League for adults. This judge okayed the idea."

Quinn was less than thrilled.

Quinn: "And you do the actual work?"

Jim: "Work as in playing baseball? Yes. He wants me to be on the team. Fortunately, Uncle Vito's gonna be on the team as well."

Quinn went from upset to shocked.

Quinn: "Are you kidding me!? Uncle Vito's a fat old slob whose had...I don't even remember how many heart attacks he's had, it's been so many. He's had two bypass surguries and a pacemaker put in and hasn't exercised since the mid-80's. He can't do anything athletic!"

Jim: "Well, he insists...especially after I laid a guilt trip on him for constantly making me take the fall for his stupidity."

Quinn: "What position is Uncle Vito playing?"

Jim: "Catcher. It's the only one his cardiologist would clear him for...and only after making him promise to sit on a stool the whole time."


Scene 4

Ext. Shot: The Thompson's porch, day.

Jim, Jamie, Chuck and Kevin were hanging out on the porch drinking beer. Jim was talking about the community baseball team that he and Uncle Vito are starting up.

Jim: "...so Uncle Vito's the catcher, I'm playing short stop, Chris agreed to be first baseman and I convinced Tom to be second baseman. We need a pitcher, a third baseman and an outfielder. We also need a coach."

Jamie: "I played baseball druing the off season in high school. I'd be happy to coach the team."

Jim smiles.

Jim: "Thanks, man. Chuck, you any good at catching a ball?"

Chuck: "I can try. Why?"

Jim: "If you wanna join the team, you're welcome to. I just need to figure out what position you'd be good in."

Jamie interjects.

Jamie: "He can run like the wind. Got that skill from all the times he ran from pissed off boyfriends during his Upchuck days." He turns to Chuck. "Wanna be third baseman?"

Chuck's eyes lit up.

Chuck: "No one's ever asked me to be on a team before!"

Jamie: "Well, now I am."

Chuck: "I'd be honored."

Kevin: "Hey, can I be on the team."

Jim and Jamie: "NO!"

Kevin was totally deflated.

Kevin: "Why not!? I'm the former QB!"

Jim: "Because football is the only thing you don't suck at."

Jamie: "And that includes other sports. Baseball and football are two totally different things."

Before the conversation can continue, Daryl's red Corvette pulls up to the house. Cut to the front door and we see a dolled up Brittany emerge from the house.

Brittany: "Kevie, Daryl's giving me a ride to the gym. I probably won't be back 'til after midnight."

Kevin, as usual, suspects nothing.

Kevin: "Cool, have fun, babe!"

Brittany has a sly grin on her face.

Brittany: "Oh, you bet I will!"

Jamie: "Brittany, hold up a second! We're putting a community baseball team together. Can Daryl pitch?"

Brittany: "No, but Kevie can. Let him be on the team."

Jim: "I'm not so sure that's a good idea."

Brittany: "But he's good, and I'd have more time to fu...EXERCISE...with Daryl!" She suddenly looks nervous. "Um...Igottago, bye!"

Brittany runs to Daryl's car before anyone can ask any more questions. Once she's in the passenger seat, she gives Daryl a kiss that is not at all platonic.

Brittany: "Let's go, lover!"

Daryl: "You got it, sexy!"

As Daryl drives off, cut back to the guys.

Kevin: "Cool, I'm on the team! I've also got Daryl making sure my wife doesn't screw around while I'm gone."

The other guys roll their eyes. Kevin just doesn't get it.


Scene 5

Ext. Shot: A baseball filed at the park, day.

It's the team's first practice session. Jamie, as the coach, is talking to the guys.

Jamie: "Okay, now, let's..."

Something catches Jamie's attention. That something is Uncle Vito eating a chilli dog and drinking a beer.

Jamie: "Vito, what the hell are you doing!?"

Vito: "Gettin' my energy up."

Jamie: "How many have you had?"

Vito: "Chilli dogs or beers?"

Jamie: "Both."

Vito: "This is my tenth dog, but only my fifth beer."

Jamie does a facepalm and groans.

Jamie: "Finish the dog and beer, and then get your ass to home plate!"

Vito rapidly stuffs the rest of the chilli dog in his mouth and washes it down by chugging the rest of his beer.

Vito: "Okay, I'm good ta go!"

He puts on his face guard and body armor, makes his way to the stool behind home plate and sits down. Cut to Jamie putting his face guard and armor on as he's playing the role of umpire.

Jamie: "All right...LET'S PLAY BALL!"

Cut to later. Jim's positioned at short stop, Chris is on first base, Chuck's on second while Tom Sloane's at third. Kevin is on the pitcher's mound while another team member is up to bat. Kevin throws a fastball. The batter swings, but misses the ball, which goes right into Vito's glove.

Jamie: "STRRRRIKE ONE!"

Cut to short stop. Jim is visibly impressed.

Jim: "Turns out that Kevin can pitch. I guess football isn't the only sport he's good at."

Kevin throws another fastball, with the same results as the first one.

Jamie: "STRIKE TWO!"

Cut to third base.

Tom: "Don't know why everyone's so surprised. Kevin was the quarterback, a similar skill set to pitcher."

Cut to the pitcher's mound. Kevin winds up another fastball. This one gets hit and goes straight up.

Jamie: "FLY BALL!"

As the batter makes a dash for first base, Vito suddenly stands up and throws off his face mask.

Vito: "I GOT IT!"

Jim sees his uncle run to catch the ball and panics.

Jim: "UNCLE VITO, NO!"

Suddenly, Vito yelps in pain.

Vito: "GAAAHHHH! NOT AGAIN!"

He stops running and clutches his chest.

Vito: "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!"

He then passes out, clutching his chest the whole time. Cut to Jim whipping out his I-Phone.

Jim: (thought VO) Goddammit, Uncle Vito! (out loud) "Hello, I need an ambulance at the town park, it's my uncle!" Jim frowns with embarrassment. "Yes, another heart attack."


Act II

Scene 1

Ext. Shot: Pizza Prince, day

Int. Shot: Pizza Prince

Quinn and Nicole were chatting over lunch. The topic of conversation was the new community baseball team since Quinn's husband is the short stop and Nicole's husband is the coach. Quinn was talking about what happened during the team's first practice.

Quinn: "...but it turned out that Vito wasn't having a heart attack. It was just a really painful case of indigestion."

Nicole shrugs.

Nicole: "Hey, that's what happens when you run after stuffing yourself with ten chili dogs and beer. Jamie's been ranting about it nonstop."

Nicole sighs.

Nicole: "At least he's found something to complain about other than what an over-priviledged tool Bryce Palermo is."

Quinn: "Speaking of which, have you guys set a date for renewing your vows?"

Nicole: "May twenty-seventh."

Quinn: "That's one week after mine and Jim's wedding anniversary."

Nicole nods.

Quinn: "Why that date? You and Jamie got married in September."

Nicole: "True, but we really wanna do this at Winged Tree, and Sandi already had September booked solid. At least the Sloanes are letting us do it free of charge."

Quinn stifles a giggle.

Quinn: "Sandi's probably hoping you'll wanna make another video with her like you did for Jamie when he was in Iraq."

Nicole: "Well, she'll just have to settle for a fantasy. When we made that video I was a twenty-six-year-old Asian hottie with a wild streak, not a forty-year-old suburban soccor mom. My days of lezzing out just for show are soooo over."

Both women laughed.

Quinn: "Yet you still pose nude for Jane on occasion and upload naughty cosplay videos on your ."

They laugh again.


Scene 2

Ext. Shot: The ballfield, day

The team has just finished practice and are now receiving a pep talk from Jamie.

Jamie: "Great practice, guys. Now, this weekend is our first game. Based on what I've seen out of you, I can honestly say we're ready. Oakwood's not gonna know what hit 'em."

This is followed by a litany of high-fives and pats on the back among all the guys.

Jamie: "Anyway, I think that's enough for today. Let's clean up and go home."

Cut to later. Jim, Jamie and Vito are walking towards the parking lot. Jim's Camaro and Vito's Cadillac are parked next to each other while Jamie's red Kawasaki motorcycle is on the other side of Jim's Camaro.

Jamie: "Thanks for not doing anything stupid this time, Vito."

Vito: "Don' mention it, Jamie."

Jim: "I'm impressed, Uncle Vito. I had some serious doubts about your ability to actually take this seriously." Pause as something occurs to Jim. "Why are you taking this seriously, by the way? I ask because it's the first time I've seen you exercise any kind of restraint."

Vito shrugs.

Vito: "Guess I'm just growin' up."

Jim says nothing but has a worried expression on his face.

Jim: (thought VO) Why do I feel like there's something he's not telling me, and why do I have a feeling it's something that'll seriously piss me off?

Suddenly, a large black van pulls in front of the three and comes to a screeching halt, blocking their path. Out of the passenger side steps a large, muscular man in a business suit whose face has a menacing scowl. Despite the intimidating demeanor, he speaks pleasantly in a voice that has a strong New York accent.

Scary man: "Vito Carbone, just the guy I wanted ta see. How ya doin'?"

Vito: (very nervous) "Um...I'm doin' good, Mr. Caputo."

Caputo grins, but the grin is so menacing that Jim, Jamie and Vito are terrified.

Caputo: "Boss wants ta have a little talk wit' youse."

Jim: "Uncle Vito, what's going on?"

Caputo narrows his eyes.

Caputo: "You gonna introduce me ta yer buddies here?"

Vito's practically shaking.

Vito: "Um...This is my nephew, Jim, and this guy's Jamie White. Guys, this is Dominick Caputo."

Jamie: (thought VO) That name sounds familiar.

Caputo: "Dey on th' team?"

Vito nods nervously.

Vito: "Jamie's th' coach an' Jimmy's th' short stop."

Caputo grins maliciously.

Caputo: "Good! Let's all of us go for a little ride."

Vito: "Um...Could we do it another time?"

The side door of the van slides open. Two other men in suits step out and draw guns on the three.

Caputo: (menacing) "I wasn't askin'. Ged in th' van...now!"

Jim, Jamie and Vito nervously comply with the kidnappers.


Scene 3

Ext. Shot: A warehouse in Newark, day

Int. Shot: An office in the back

The kidnappers escort Jim, Vito and Jamie into the office and forcefully gesture towards the three empty seats in front of the large desk. The guys all nervously sit down. At this point, the man behind the desk turns his seat around. He's a tall, muscular guy with gray, slicked back hair wearing a designer suit. Cut to Jim, Vito and Jamie. Upon seeing this man's face both Jim and Jamie gasp while Vito gulps with dread. The man behind the desk looks at Jim and Jamie.

Man behind desk: "I guess youse guys know who I am."

Jim nods nervously.

Jamie: "Vinnie Santucci, boss of the New Jersey mafia!"

Santucci nods.

Santucci: "Good eyes, blondie."

Jim: "Um...What's going on? I mean, we were snatched off the street and just spent an hour in a van with guns pointed at us the whole time."

Santucci: "Guess Vito didn't tell yas." He turns to Vito. "You're into me for a hundred big ones."

Both Jim and Jamie stare daggers at Vito.

Vito: "Um...Yeah. Kinda lost my shirt in a card game the other day."

Jim does an immediate facepalm.

Jim: (thought VO) I shoulda known! That's why he's suddenly not acting like himself! (out loud) "What's that have to do with us?"

Santucci smirks.

Santucci: "Wanna tell 'em how ya chose ta make payment, or should I?"

Vito sighs.

Vito: "I sweet talked some of th' high rollers to bet on the team. The amount totals 300 grand. I then told Mr. Santucci about it an' cut a deal wit' him. The team wins against Oakwood an' he cancels my debt. Since this means he's still 200k ahead, he was all for it."

Santucci: "But it occurs to me that if youse guys lose I'm gonna be out 400 large, sos I figure maybe I should give all o' yas a friendly reminder of what's at stake."

Jamie turns right to Vito.

Jamie: "You own several successful businesses! Why didn't you just pay up!?"

Jim answers for his uncle.

Jim: "Because he's a freaking cheap-ass."

Santucci decides to give them some extra incentive.

Santucci: "By th' way, Jim, I know that you're Jim the Car Guy and you're married to the S'mores 'n' Pores girl..." He turns towards Jamie. "...an' I know your wife's Ninjababe. " He turns back to Jim. "I also know you got ten-year-old triplet sons..." He faces Jamie. "...an' you also got a ten-year-old daughter. Nice to have a family, ain't it? I'd take real care, make sure nothin' happens to 'em. After all, be a shame if your kids were to disappear or your wives have to work off th' debt in some of my...more erotic businesses."

Jim and Jamie are visibly both frightened and furious by the threat to kill their kids and press their wives into sex slavery.

Ext. Shot: The park in Lawndale, evening

The van pulls up to the spot where they'd abducted the guys earlier. After coming to a screeching halt, the sliding door opens and all three are shoved out onto the pavement.

Thug in van: "Don' fuhgedd what happens if ya try to fuck us!"

The van door slams shut, followed by it speeding off into the night. Cut to Jim, Vito and Jamie. Jim immediately smacks Vito upside the head.

Vito: "OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

Jim: "DAMMIT, UNCLE VITO! It's not enough that you get yourself indebted to the mob, YOU HAD TO DRAG US INTO IT!"

Jamie: "If I still had my real legs, I'd kick your ass!"


Scene 4

Ext. Shot: Casa Carbone, evening

Int. Shot: Master bedroom

Jim has just told Quinn what happened to make him so late in coming home. Her reaction is about what one would expect.

Quinn: "WHAT!?"

Jim: "Uncle Vito owes the mob a hundred grand and offered us all up as payment."

Quinn is visibly angry about this.

Quinn: "Dammit! Of all the incredibly stupid...UGH!"

Jim sighs.

Jim: "I know. I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not. I knew something was up when Uncle Vito started taking this baseball thing seriously." Pause. "I didn't think he'd do something that raised the stakes this high, though."

Quinn: "Dammit, Jim! This is what you constantly enabling your uncle's gotten us!"

Jim becomes defensive.

Jim: "Hey, I didn't tell him to play in a high stakes, Mafia-controlled card game!"

Quinn: "No, but your history of shielding him from consequences led to it! Vito never learns from his mistakes because you ALWAYS cover his ass! Now, it's gotten to the point where we're all being threatened by gangsters!"

Jim sighs.

Jim: "You're right!" Pause. "But the fact remains that we're in one hell of a jam now. If we win the game against Oakwood, we'll be alright. We lose and we're all as good as dead."

Quinn: "Jim, you need to go to the authorities!"

Jim rolls his eyes.

Jim: "Quinn, it's not that simple! These aren't small-time thugs, it's the freaking Mafia! We go against them and we'll have to move as far from Lawndale as humanly possible, change careers, assume new identities and even all that might not save us from getting whacked! We have no choice! All we can do is hope to God that we win against Oakwood! That's the only way these guys are gonna leave us alone!"

Quinn let out a frustrated sigh.

Quinn: "You're right. As much as I don't like it, you're right. Vinnie Santucci has us dead to rights and he knows it." Pause. "But what if you don't win?"

Jim emits a resigned, hopeless sigh.

Jim: "Then...We're completely screwed."


Scene 5

Ext. Shot: baseball field at the park, day

Two teams are in their respective dugouts; the Lawndale Patriots (because the high school threatened to sue if they called themselves the Lions) and the Oakwood Eagles. The bleachers are filled with supportive fans.

Int. Shot: Lawndale's dugout

Jamie's trying to give them a pre-game pep talk.

Jamie: "So, through no fault of my own...Vito...the steaks are pretty high now. We can't, I say again, CANNOT afford to screw this up. We need to win, and win big. One day, we'll be remembered as the team that saved their families lives. We are the team that will NOT go quietly into that good night, the team that will NOT give up without a fight! We are heroes! WE...ARE...PATRIOTS!"

Cut to a group shot of the whole team. They are visibly inspired, excpet for Vito. He's nervous. Jim notices this.

Jim: "Uncle Vito, what's wrong?"

Vito points to the bleachers. Cut to their POV and we see the same gangsters who'd snatched them the other day sitting up there. Cut back to Vito and Jim.

Jim: "Obviously, Santucci wants them to protect his...shudder...investment." Pause. "Relax. We're in broad daylight surrounded by witnesses. I don't think the mob's so stupid that they'll waste us here if we don't deliver the goods."

Vito says nothing but nervously nods his head.

Ext. Shot: A short time later

It's the first inning. Oakwood is on the field while Lawndale is in the dugout.

Int. Shot: The dugout

Jamie holds a clipboard as he calls players up to bat.

Jamie: "Chuck, you're up first!"

Chuck gets off the bench and nervously steps up to home plate. Oakwoods pitcher throws a fastball, but Chuck misses. The ball soars into the glove of Oakwoods catcher.

Umpire: "STRIKE ONE!"

The catcher throws it back to the pitcher. The pitcher winds it up again. Chuck misses again, but so does the catcher.

Umpire: "BALL ONE!"

Repeat. This time, the pitcher throws a curve ball that Chuck doesn't even see coming. Therefore, he doesn't even bother to swing the bat.

Umpire: "BALL TWO!"

Next time, Chuck's ready. He hits it. Chuck makes a run for first base and even gets to second, all before anyone on Oakwood catches the ball.

Cut to the dughout.

Jamie: "Kevin, you're up!"

Kevin steps up to the plate. The pitcher throws a fastball. Kevin not only fails to hit it but swings the bat so hard that it actually flies out of his hands. The bat spins through the air and into the manager's box, where it hits Oakwood's coach right in the face.

Oakwood coach: "OW! SONOFABITCH!"

The umpire yells at the Lawndale dugout.

Umpire: "ONE MORE SCREW UP LIKE THAT AND YOUR TEAM FORFEITS, COACH!"

Jamie does a facepalm.

Jamie: "Dammit, Kevin!"

Jim's face loses color.

Jim: (defeated tone) "We're doomed."


Act III

Scene 1

Ext. Shot: Baseball field at Lawndale Park, day

It's still the first inning. Now Lawndale is fielding while Oakwood is batting. It's not going well for Lawndale as both first and second base have Oakwood players on them. A third player is up to bat. Cut to the pitcher's mound as Kevin winds up a fastball. He pitches the ball. The batter swings and misses, followed by Vito catching the pitch.

Umpire: "STRIKE ONE!"

Cut to short stop as Jim breathes a huge sigh of relief. Cut back to the pitcher's mound as Kevin prepares to pitch a second time. Cut back to short stop. Jim visibly maintains lazor like focus until something catches his attention. Cut to Jim's POV and we see two mobsters staring intently at the action on the field. Cut to third-person and we see Jim become visibly nervous as he's reminded of what's at stake in this game.

Jim: (thought VO) Dammit, Uncle Vito, it's not enough that you drag me into community service! You had to drag us all into your debt to the Mafia too!

Off screen we hear the sound of the bat hitting the ball. The ball comes right towards Jim, close enough that he can easily catch it, but he's so preoccupied that he doesn't see the ball fly right by him. This is immediately followed by the Oakwood player on second base running right by Jim, which snaps him out of it.

Jim: (thought VO) SHIT!

No one got the ball until it was in center field, after which it had bounced. The center fielder catches it and tosses it to the third baseman, Chuck, but Chuck is so nervous that he fails to catch it until the Oakwood player is safely on third base.

Official: "SAFE!"

Chuck frowns. Knowing what's at stake is taking his head out of the game as well.

Cut to the bleachers and we see Quinn, Sandi, Stacy and Nicole nervously watching the game. They are all visibly nervous as they are fully aware of Vito's debt to the mob and the threat that was made should Lawndale lose this game.

Stacy: "I still can't believe Vito was stupid enough to offer us all up as collateral!"

Sandi has a suggestion.

Sandi: "Stacy, you're a news reporter. Why not just expose what's going on?"

Stacy: "Because I don't wanna end up a mangled corpse in a dumpster."

Sandi: "Well, if Don Santucci thinks I'll work his clubs then he is sorely mistaken. I will NOT go back to being a stripper just to pay off someone else's gambling debts!"

Quinn: "Sandi, the alternative might be catching a bullet in the back of your head."

Nicole: "Where's Brittany? This affects her too."

Quinn: "Care to guess?"

Nicole frowns as the answer is obvious.

Ext. Shot: An apartment building on Dega Street

Music: "Feel Like Making Love" by Bad Company

We only see the outside of the building, but we hear...

Brittany: (VO, from building) "OH...AH...OH...DARYL...YES...YES...GIVEITTOME...YES..."

Ext. Shot: Bleachers at the ballpark

Nicole: "Figures. Even threats by gangsters aren't enough to stop her from taking an opportunity to cheat on her husband."

Cut to the field and we see Oakwood score a home run.


Scene 2

Ext. Shot: The ballpark

Int. Shot: The dugout

Everyone is forlorn as Lawndale is clearly losing the game.

Jamie: "Guys, what the hell!? Oakwood's killing us out there!"

Jim: "It's kinda hard to keep our heads in the game when your family's being threatened by the mob."

Chuck: "Thanks a lot, Vito."

Vito: "Oooooooo, take it easy! It was jus' s'posed to be a little fun!"

Jim: "Well, your 'fun' put us in a position where we can't afford to lose this game! Our lives are in danger, our family's lives are in danger...AND IT YOUR FREAKIN' FAULT!"

Vito: "Look, I'm sorry! Next time, I won't offer up the team and it's players as collateral!"

Jamie: "DAMMIT, VITO, IF WE LOSE THERE ISN'T GONNA BE A NEXT TIME!"

It was at this moment that a welcome surprise occurred.

Chris: (VO, off screen) "Want my help?"

Everyone gasped as they looked to find Jim's brother, Chris, in the dugout. He was in his police uniform, which was why he was let in.

Chris: "Guys, I know what's going on. I'm a former varsity athlete, so I'm no stranger to pressure. You can't be afraid to lose. There's no room for fear in the game."

Chuck: "Well, it's kinda hard when losing means being indebted to the Mafia."

Chris: "I'm a cop, I know how criminals think and how the mob works. If you lose, the only one in danger is Vito. The Italian mob considers families off limits."

Jamie: "Chris, we were threatened with our families getting hurt."

Chris: "A bluff, nothing more. If you guys lose, the mob will most likely throw Uncle Vito a beating, take over his businesses and possibly even kill him, but that's all. The threat against your families was just a misguided attempt to motivate you, nothing more. Now, get out there and play your hearts out. If you lose, only Uncle Vito suffers for it."

Jim: "I can live with that."

Wide shot of the whole team, all visibly relieved (except for Vito). Cut back to Chris as Jamie approaches him and whispers in his ear.

Jamie: "So, this is just Vito's problem? The rest of us aren't in danger?"

Chris whispers back in Jamie's ear.

Chris: "Actually, I just said that so they'd stop worrying and start playing. You guys really are dead meat if you lose."

Jamie's face loses all color.


Scene 3

Ext. Shot: The ballpark

Oakwood is fielding while Lawndale is batting.

Announcer: "Well, it's the start of the third inning and the score is Oakwood: six, Lawndale: nothing!"

Cut to the dugout.

Jamie: "Tom, you're up!"

Tom Sloane exits the dugout and steps up to the plate. He picks up the bat and does a few warm up swings. Cut to the pitcher's mound as Oakwood's pitcher winds up a pitch. He throws a curve ball that Tom misses.

Umpire: "STRIKE ONE!"

The catcher tosses the ball back to the pitcher. As the pitcher winds up another pitch, Tom's eyes narrow. Cut to Tom's POV and we see a fastball coming in slow motion. Cut back to third person but remain in slo-mo. Tom swings the bat and hits the ball...hard. We now see Tom run to first base in slow motion. Cut to the ball as it soars through the air, too high to catch. Cut to Tom. Having seen how high the ball is he continues on to second base, then third. Cut back to the ball. As it begins to lose altitude, Oakwood's fielders scramble to catch it. Cut to Tom as he continues past third and reaches home plate. Cut back to regular speed as the bleachers erupt with thunderous applause.

Announcer: "AND TOM SLOANE HITS A HOME RUN!"

Begin Musical Montage

Music: "Moment of Truth" by Survivor

Lawndale is fielding.

When you're alone, you ask yourself, what are you searching for?

Kevin pitches a fastball, which Vito catches. The Umpire makes the 'strike one' gesture.

Deep in the night, a dream is born.

Strike two.

One that you can't ignore.

Strike three. Umpire makes the 'you're out' gesture.

If you think you can find your passion.

Cut to later, when Jim's at the bat.

And you're ready to take a chance.

The pitcher throws.

If you really believe you can make it.

Jim hits it out of the park.

Then the power is in your own hands.

Jim does a home run.

IT'S THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

YOU'RE GIVING IT ALL

STANDING ALONE

WILLING TO FALL

Shot of Oakwood hitting a fly ball, which Chuck catches with ease.

IF YOU CAN DO IT

GET UP AND PROVE IT

GET UP AND SHOW THEM WHO YOU ARE

Oakwood is fielding and the bases are loaded. Lawndale's batter hits it out of the park.

IT'S THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

IT'S ALL ON THE LINE

THIS IS THE PLACE

THIS IS THE TIME

Lawndale scores four runs in as many seconds.

IT'S NOW OR IT'S NEVER

YOU'VE WAITED FOREVER

NOTHING CAN STOP YOU NOW

We now see Lawndale fielding.

Once in your life, you make a choice

Ready to risk it all.

Oakwood's first batter strikes out.

Deep in your soul, you hear a voice

Answering to the call

Oakwood's next batter hits a home run.

Though you know that it won't be easy

Cut to the wives in the bleachers.

It's a promise you made for love

Cut to Chuck swinging a strike.

For the people that keep believing

Chuck looks towards the bleachers and sees Stacy.

And the one that you're thinking of

Chuck hits a home run.

IT'S THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

YOU'RE GIVING IT ALL

STANDING ALONE

WILLING TO FALL

Later, we see a shot of Kevin being tagged out before reaching second base. Cut to Jim at the bat.

IF YOU CAN DO IT, GET UP AND PROVE IT

GET UP AND SHOW THEM WHO YOU ARE

Jim hits another home run.

IT'S THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

IT'S ALL ON THE LINE

Cut to the scoreboard. It's now the seventh inning and Lawndale is only one run behind.

THIS IS THE PLACE

THIS IS THE TIME

Cut to Chuck sliding to home plate, then cut to the scoreboard to show Lawndale and Oakwood are now tied.

IT'S NOW OR IT'S NEVER

YOU'VE WAITED FOREVER

Cut to the scoreboard showing that it's now the ninth inning.

NOTHING CAN STOP YOU NOW

During the song's bridge, we see a shot of Jamie giving the guys one last pep talk. Then cut to Lawndale batting. Next, cut to a shot of all the bases loaded. Lawndale's batter hits it out of the park, resulting in Lawndale scoring four runs.

IT'S THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

YOU'RE GIVING IT ALL

STANDING ALONE

WILLING TO FALL

Shot of Kevin pitching when Lawndale has the field.

IF YOU CAN DO IT, GET UP AND PROVE IT

GET UP AND SHOW THEM WHO YOU ARE

Now, a shot of all bases loaded. Kevin throws a pitch.

IT'S THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

IT'S ALL ON THE LINE

THIS IS THE PLACE

THIS IS THE TIME

The batter hits it out of the park.

IT'S NOW OR IT'S NEVER

YOU'VE WAITED FOREVER

This results in Oakwood tying the game at the end.

End montage


Scene 4

Ext. Shot: The ballpark

Announcer: "And with the game tied at the end of the ninth inning, we're going into a tenth inning stretch!"

Cut to the dugout. Jamie is giving the players a pep talk.

Jamie: "All right, this is it! We just have to score one run, then make sure they don't score any. We do that, we win! LET'S SHOW 'EM WHAT WE'RE MADE OF!"

Whole team cheers.

Jamie: "Kevin, you're up!"

Cut to Kevin at the plate. The pitcher throws a fastball, which Kevin misses.

Umpire: "STRIKE ONE!"

Cut to the dugout.

Jamie: (under his breath) "Dammit, Kevin, don't choke now!"

Cut back to home plate. The pitcher throws a second fastball, which Kevin also misses.

Umpire: "STRIKE TWO!"

Cut to the bleachers. Quinn, Sandi, Stacy and Nicole are all visibly worried.

Quinn: "Oh, no!"

Cut to home plate. This time, Kevin's ready for a fastball. Unfortunately, the pitcher throws a curve ball instead.

Umpire: "STRIKE THREE! YOU'RE OUT!"

Dejected, Kevin returns to the dugout as Adam Rowe steps up to bat. The pitcher throws another curve ball. Fortunately, Adam hits it.

Umpire: "FLY BALL!"

By the time it's caught, Adam's safely on first base. Cut to a short time later. Jim's on first base while Adam's on third. Cut to the dugout.

Jamie: "Chuck, you're up!"

Chuck steps up to the plate. Cut to the bleachers.

Stacy: "Come on baby, don't let me down!"

Cut back to home plate. Chuck hits the ball.

Umpire: "FLY BALL!"

Chuck runs to first base while Jim runs to third. Adam slides to home plate.

Umpire: "SAFE!"

Cut to the bleachers and we see everyone cheering. Cut to the scoreboard and Lawndale is now ahead one point.

Cut to later. Lawndale now has the field while Oakwood is batting. Oakwood has one player on third base. Kevin pitches, but Oakwood's batter hits it.

Cut to the ball in slow motion. It's veering dangerously close to foul territory. Cut to Jamie at normal speed.

Jamie: "Go foul! For the love of God, go foul!"

Cut to the batter.

Batter: "Stay fair! Stay fair!"

The ball veers over the foul line. Cut to the umpire.

Umpire: "FOUL BALL!"

Cut to Jamie breathing a HUGE sigh of relief.

Cut to a short time later. The scoreboard shows Lawndale still ahead by one point.

Announcer: "Well, that's it! Lawndale wins!"

Cut to the field. The entire Lawndale team cheers. Cut to the bleachers and we see the wives all breathe huge sighs of relief. Cut back to Lawndale celebrating. The two mobsters who'd been watching the game walk up to Vito. Vito looks at them.

Vito: "Well, looks like we're square."

Mobster 1: "Not yet."

Mobster 2 punches Vito in the gut. This is followed by Mobster 1 punching him so hard in the face that it sends a tooth flying.

Mobster 2: "Now, we're square."

With that, the two mobsters leave. Cut to Jamie and Jim.

Jamie: "I know he's your uncle, Jim, but the stupid old bastard deserved that."

Jim: "I actually agree."


Scene 5

Ext. Shot: Casa Carbone, evening

Int. Shot: Master bedroom

Jim and Quinn are sitting up in bed, preparing to call it a night.

Jim: "...but after the wiseguys left Jamie admitted to all of us that Chris lied, and our lives really were on the line."

Quinn: "Thank God your brother lied to you guys. Otherwise, we'd all be in deep trouble."

Her eyes angrily narrowed.

Quinn: "To think, I was almost forced into prostitution because of your idiot uncle!"

Jim: "I know, and I'm sorry. You're right, I do shield Uncle Vito from the consequences of his reckless decisions, but I don't know what else to do. He's family."

Quinn: "I understand, Jim. You go the extra mile for the people you care about, and I love you for it. You're a hero."

Jim shrugs off the praise.

Jim: "No, I just always try to do the right thing. I'm no one special, just a decent human being. At least, I always try to be."

Quinn smiles at her husband.

Quinn: "That may not be a hero in your eyes, but that DEFINITELY makes you a hero in mine. After all, you saved us from a fate worse than death today."

Quinn then steps out of bed and stands before her husband. She has a sultry look on her face.

Quinn: "I think you deserve a reward. Show me just how big a hero you are."

She begins to remove her nightgown. Cut to a rear shot before we see anything NSFW. Quinn stands before her husband, completely naked. Cut to Jim, visibly liking what he sees.

Jim: "Damn, I never get tired of looking at that sexy body of yours!"

Cut to Quinn from the shoulders up. She has a sexy grin.

Quinn: "Why, thank you. Now, take me...hard!"

Ext. Shot: Casa Carbone

Jim: (VO, from house) "OH...YEAH...SO...AH..."

Quinn: (VO, from house) "GIVEITTOME...YES...YES...OHGODJIMYES..."

Suddenly...

Timmy: (VO, from house) "Mom, Dad, I can't slee...AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Quinn: (VO, from house) "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Jim: (VO, from house) "DAMMIT, TIMMY, KNOCK FIRST!"

End credits.