A/N: This story has taken me ages to write and it shouldn't have taken this long to get this far. I'm assuming it's taken so long because it's gotten so much darker and naturally life has gotten busier. This isn't a happy love story and this isn't a story about a girl who makes the best decisions But it's a story that causes you too feel and that is my goal. You're comment's whether positive or negative (within reason) are very much appreciated.
I am truly sorry this has taken so long and its not even the end yet. I want to say that I'll update soon but if you've read this from the beginning we all know that is probably not going to happen haha. I hope you still enjoy it... to the extent that you can enjoy a story like this.
-P
P.S I still don't edit. aha Some people just don't change. :D
I awoke the next morning naked and laying in my bed. I don't remember anything after Adam rolled off of me the second time. I do remember the sound of sobbing and the feeling of tears but I wasn't the one that was crying. It was him. My head was pounding and my body ached with every breath. I couldn't sit up without wincing and my hands were shaky.
There was knock on the door and I pulled the covers over my face. "I'm changing." I said and then the door opened anyways.
"That's never stopped me before." He said and I felt tears spring into my eyes. "Susanna?" I felt the bed sink as he sat down and felt him pull lightly on the covers. "Susanna what's wrong?" I let him pull the covers down and watched his face go from worry to fury.
"Who did this?" Tad said as he touched my cheek.
"It's nothing." I turned away and pulled the covers over my head.
"I'll kill him."
"Don't be stupid." I snapped and there was silence.
"He wont get away with this." Tad said and he got off the bed.
"He'll get away with it because he's the King and my husband." I said sitting up. "You're being foolish."
"Foolish? I'm being foolish? Because I care about you?"
"Yes! This was supposed to be fun. And now look. I have two bastard children, an affair with a horse tamer and a husband who rapes me." I laid back down and stared at the wall. "This is not the life I wanted." Tad was silent and I knew that it was cruel to say but I couldn't stop myself.
"You're right. I was foolish." He said and walked out. If I had known I would've never said those mean things to him. But that night Tad, in a drunken rage, started a fight in the local tavern and was killed, knife through the heart.
"Momma, please get out of bed." Addie whined. It had been a month since Christmas and getting out of bed was the last thing I wanted to do. I watched the days pass by and listened to the people closest to me whine at me to pull myself together and to get up.
"I'm tired Addie." I said and rolled over. I heard her nose sniff and I knew she was crying, but I couldn't bring myself to comfort her. I felt the bed move and heard the door open. I reached down and threw up into the bucket beside my bed.
"Well this is a pitiful sight." Regan's voice was cool and disgusted.
"Oh go away." I snapped.
"I will not. I have watched you throw you life away for far too long. Happy or not you are a mother and you have a responsibility to those children."
"I don't care." I groaned and pulled the blankets over my face. Two seconds later they were yanked down and I was lying completely exposed to the cool February air.
"Get up Susanna. Enough of this. You are not the only woman who has been raped and beaten by their husband." She yelled. I blinked at her and noticed the pain in her face. I shook my head and felt tears in my eyes. I started to sob and curled into a ball.
I felt her cool hands on my warm skin and she pulled me into her arms. "Shhh. I know it's hard and I know it hurts but you must be strong. You are strong. Don't let this defeat you."
"I'm pregnant." I said and the room went eerily silent. Regan sat frozen.
"I thought you were taking that potion." She said holding me back so she could look at my face. I stared at her shocked and she raised her eyebrows. "I know more than you think I do."
"I was, but I didn't think about taking it until last week when my monthly bleed didn't come." She took a deep breath and sighed. She looked out the window at the frozen ground and shook her head.
"Well then… This means you must get up." She said and opened the windows. I shivered at the cold air and reached for the blankets. "Susanna!" She hissed and pulled them completely off the bed.
"I don't want to be pregnant. I don't want to be the queen. I want my mother and my father and I want to go home!" I whined like a child, a 30-year-old child.
"Oh Lord help me." She sighed with frustration. "Susanna, this child will be different from the others. This child is your only child entitled to the throne. You must get up because now your children need more protecting then they ever have. Without you, who do they have to protect them?" She said and I felt my heart sink. I envisioned my children hanging, one by one, blue faces, necks broken, tongues out. I started sobbing and felt her hug me again. "I'll get Helen to run you a bath and then you'll see that you feel much better. Tomorrow we'll go home." She said and I sobbed some more as I realized I was headed back to the place I hated the most.
The trumpets rang as we entered the palace gates. People had lined the streets of the city as we rode through and my children did their duty in waving and passing out blessings to the peasants. I waved slightly and nodded to the people but I was dreading my return. Regan had dressed us all in royal blue with silver trimmings, perfect for the winter and for our homecoming. Except for Addie, she wore pink.
As we rode through the gates, the servants lined the steps and everyone looked happy to see us. To my surprise my husband stood at the bottom of the steps, clean-shaven and dressed in gold.
"Father!" Anthony yelled happily as the carriage came to a stop. He gave him a hard look and I touched Anthony's leg.
"Remember you are the prince. Princes' don't yell at the King." I smiled and he blushed. "It's ok to be excited but just contain it a little." I laughed and Addie smiled. Albert scowled.
"Why are we back here? It's so boring here." He had been furious when his riding lessons ended and he had been even more miserable when I told him we were coming home.
"We've been away for too long dear. Don't you want to see you father again? Have your old room and your toys back?" I touched his leg and he turned away from me.
"No." He said and went silent. I sighed and shook my head but remained smiling.
As we filed out of the carriage the boys lined up in front of Adam and he beamed proudly. Addie stood behind us with Regan and Marcia. We bowed to the King and he returned the courtesy before grabbing my hands and kissing both my cheeks.
"Welcome home." He said and I smiled but he could tell I was not happy. "Come we've prepared a celebration for you." He said offering me his arm and smiling at the children. They exchanged looks and followed behind us. I smiled at the servants as they greeted me.
"Why have you returned?" He asked through a false smile.
"This is our home." I said returning the smile.
"You hate it here." He said leading me up the grand staircase. He turned to a group of handmaids and instructed them to change the children into their new clothes. They ushered the sullen children away and he led me into the parlor of my room. I sighed as I looked around. The furniture had been changed. There was more golden items added to the room and it seemed to be brighter. I hated it. He let go of me to close the door and I realized we were alone.
I stood at the window and studied the dirty faces that lined the gates. "So many people." I said still shocked at the reaction of the people. If they knew I was a fake would they still cheer when I rode by? Would they still pray for me wellbeing?
"They love you. And have missed you. As have I. Susanna I know our marriage hasn't been easy. I know that we both did and said things that we can't forget but I-"
"I'm pregnant," I said interrupting him. It was like he stopped breathing, the only sound coming from the crackling fireplace.
"I see." He said finally and I heard him pour a glass of wine. I couldn't bring myself to look at him and he made no move to touch me. "What do you propose we do?" He finally asked. I thought about this for a second and felt the rage boil inside my chest. I turned and scowled at him.
"What do I propose we do? It's our child! We do what we've always done. Raise it to love its country and respect its parents! We love it just like we love the others. This child is no different from the others. " I lied. He swirled his cup and studied the contents.
"That's where you're wrong." He said. He drank the remainder of his cup and placed it back in its place without looking at me. "I wanted the others." He said letting his words register. My hands instinctively covered my stomach. And to sink the knife deeper into my heart he added, "I love the others." And with that he left the room.
The months passed by slowly, each day was filled with grumpy children and boring dinner parties. Adam made himself scarce and the children became more aware of the fact that they were being ignored.
It was the middle of July when my life began to crumble. I was sitting in the garden with my children watching them splash in the fountain. They laughed merrily which made me smile. It was the first time I had seen them so happy in months. They weren't even enjoying their riding lessons. The city was getting to them, for they were country folk like I was and being confined in gates and posh clothing was suffocating them.
As I sat fanning myself and listening to Regan hum Alexander approached. He had a dark black mustache and he walked with a limp. He had been badly injured in the war. The doctors had said he wasn't going to make it. The last time I spoke with him he was on his deathbed. He smiled brightly at me as I stood up and hugged him tightly.
"My dear Susanna." He said into my hair.
"Alexander, darling! How I have missed you." I said and kissed both cheeks.
"How are you?" He said touching my swollen belly."
"Going to cut this child out myself I think." I laughed and groaned at the same time.
"Pregnancy suits you." He pinched my cheek. "Will this babe be another blonde haired, blue eyed beauty?" He winked at me and I looked at my children. I smiled and shook my head quickly before turning back to him. "People are going to talk." He said mischievously.
"Let them talk. I'm past the point of caring." I sighed and sat back down.
"Well as the King's new servant, or second in command as he calls it," Alexander rolled his eyes. "I have come to fetch you. The king has asked for you and Miss Addison to go to the meeting room."
"The meeting room?" I said remembering the one and only time I was ever in there. The time I had saved Adam from Paul and that blonde girl whose name was long gone from memory. "What is this about?"
"I am not certain but he was very stern about it. He said it's of the utmost importance." Alexander said and then offered me his arm. I turned and looked at Addie who was watching me curiously. She must've overheard her name.
"Come darling. His majesty wants to speak to us." She blinked at me and then jumped out of the fountain. Regan quickly patted her down with a soft blanket and then slipped her dress over her. She was not ready to be presented to the King at all but Alexander was persistent and constantly reminding us that it was urgent.
At the meeting room door, Alexander announced us and we slowly entered the cold, stone room with the round table. There was no one in the room except for Adam and Paul. Adam looked exhausted, his face covered by a short red beard. But Paul looked triumphant and proud. His cold eyes radiated evil and both Addie and I shivered at the same time.
"Come and sit." Adam said. Both of us hesitated and jumped when he said "Sit!" in a stern voice.
"What is going on Adam?" I asked looking from Paul's grin to his tired eyes.
"It has come to my knowledge that Addie is almost at the age of ten. And it is a custom for girls at the age of ten to further their-" he paused and studied his hands before continuing. "education."
"She's getting an excellent education." I defended.
"I have the best marks." She added. Adam smiled slightly but then looked at me.
"She is too comfortable." He said and I felt my heart sink. I turned to Addie and she blushed. Her curly red hair was starting to dry and was sticking up all over the place. "She is not of royal blood. She does not belong eating meals and receiving the same education as the royal family does."
"You can not be serious." I said feeling anger in my chest and my face turning red.
"The Duke of Cornwall has agreed to take Addison on as his ward."
"No." I said shaking my head and felt Addie grab the skirts of my dress tightly.
"He will give her the best education and lodging a girl of her… lineage could hope for." Paul's grin took up his entire face. He was happy to see me suffer but there was an ulterior motive to his smile.
"Absolutely not." I snapped and Adam hit the table.
"This is not up for discussion. Alexander will escort her to the nursery where she will pack up her clothes and she will leave this evening."
"What do I tell her brothers?"
"They are not her brothers!" He snapped and Addie sniffed beside me. I couldn't bring myself to look at her; my heart was breaking just as much.
"The bond they share is deeper than blood."
"None the less she is not royalty and therefore is no longer welcome." He sighed and nodded at Alexander. Addie gave a small yelp when Alexander touched her arm gently. I smiled slightly at her, tears in my eyes and nodded to her.
"Go on. I'll be with you in a moment." She blinked through crying eyes and turned and left. I took a deep breath once the door was closed, pushed back the tears and attacked. "How could you!" I yelled. "You know very well that she is your blood. You know it and I know it. She could've died years ago if it weren't for me."
"If it weren't for you I wouldn't be looking at the mistakes I made years ago."
"I learned to love those mistakes. So should you." I snapped and felt the baby turn. His gaze flicked to my stomach and he glared at me.
"She isn't my first nor my only bastard Susanna." He said attempting to hurt me and years ago they would've. But I lost track at the amount of bastards he now had (I think around seven) and chose to close my ears to the rumours that ran around the castle. Except for the one about the burning sensation he got when he urinated. That one I enjoyed hearing about.
"You can't do this to me. The boys love her. They will be heart broken."
"She's a girl. They'll get over her as soon as a new one appears." Adam said shuffling papers in front of him. I sat speechless. I watched my husband avoid my gaze by pretending to read the paper in front of him. I looked over at Paul and he was beaming.
"What's in it for you?" I said realizing there was a catch to this plan.
"For me? Nothing." He said nonchalantly and then smirked.
"The girl after some training the girl will be sent to the Cornwall castle to wait on the Duke and his family. Once she has come of age we will discuss marrying her to my nephew."
"Marrying your bastard to my nephew? Doesn't he deserve someone more…pure?"
"She is pure!" I shouted but they didn't hear me. Adam smiled and shook his head.
"My bastard isn't good enough for you."
"Good enough for me? Yes. To marry my son? No." Paul smiled and I felt the world start to spin. My baby. He was going to use my baby for his own personal gain.
"You sick, evil man. I'll kill you if you lay one finger on her." I shouted standing up. Both men looked at me shocked. Paul was amused whereas Adam was furious.
"Don't mind her. Pregnancy tends to make her hysterical." Adam said with an annoyed sigh.
"I'm not making any jests. You touch that girl and I'll make sure that it's the last thing you do." I felt victorious when the smile on Paul's face dropped but it didn't last long when I felt two hands on my arms.
"You're dismissed Susanna." Adam said and I was pulled from the door.
The boys were in a rage when I told them. Anthony sank to the floor begging me to make Adam change his mind and Albert sat on Addie's bed sobbing while she hugged him tightly.
"I wont be gone forever." She said quietly to him. "I'll be home for the holidays. Plus his majesty said I can have a two week vacation every summer."
"It wont be the same." Albert sobbed. And when Alexander appeared at the door to take Addie to Cornwall Albert punched him in the stomach and Anthony bit his leg. Both boys were grounded to their room and were not allowed to watch the carriage drive off.
Addie didn't cry the whole walk to the carriage. She held my hand tightly and the doll that Regan had given her. Once at the carriage I knelt down, to the best of my ability, in front of her and pushed her red hair back.
"You are and will always be my baby girl. Don't you ever forget that." She nodded and tears appeared in her eyes. I brushed one away and kissed her cheek. "Don't let them see you cry. They wont beat us. We'll be together one day. I promise. I wont let them keep you away from me. Don't cry anymore." I smiled and she nodded. "Promise you'll be brave?"
"I promise Momma." I kissed her cheek and she flung her arms around my neck. I bit back tears and held her close.
"It's time to go." Paul said and reached out to touch Addie. I scowled at him and he recoiled. I helped Addie into the carriage and turned to him. Through gritted teeth I hissed, "I swear to you and your God that you will die a slow and painful death." He studied my angry face, his expression startled and pale but then he coughed and smiled.
"I look forward to seeing you again too." And he climbed in the carriage. Adam stood at the top of the steps and together we were the only ones who watched our daughter trail off into the distance.
After that day nothing was ever the same. The boys and I fell into a deep depression. Albert gave up his studies and Anthony had nightmares. Every night the two of them would sneak into my chambers and crawl into bed with me. We would talk about what Addie was doing and what she was learning and we would write letters to her. Adam and I constantly fought about it but he was not clever enough to come up with a way to stop it and when he did I always outsmarted him.
One morning in September there was a knock on the door while the boys and I laid in my bed feeling the baby move. We looked up as a servant handed me a letter on a tray. "Your Majesty." He bowed and offered it to me. "I was told it's urgent." He said without making eye contact. I took the letter, thanked him and waited for him to walk away before I ripped it open.
It was from Debbie and it was written in messy thick writing, those six words forever stuck in my head.
Come quick. Your father is sick.
I sat up quickly and called for Regan. "I must go." I said and she read the letter and then sighed. I pushed back the blankets and climbed over Anthony.
"He's not going to let you."
"I'm not asking for his permission. This is my father. I cannot sit back and do nothing." I said.
"Momma?" Albert whispered, sensing my distress. I smiled at him and shook my head.
"I'll be right back. I just need to word with your father." I said and disappeared into my changing room, with Regan close behind me. She helped me into a black dress, a colour I was accustomed to wearing these days, and tied my hair back into a golden-flaked hairnet.
"Take care of them for me?" I whispered to Regan and she sighed and nodded.
"You can't go alone." She said catching my hand as I stood up from the vanity.
"I'll be fine. I've traveled alone before."
"But remember what happened last time." She said touching my belly. My heart broke and I felt the child within me stir.
"That would be a blessing right now." I said sadly and walked away so I wouldn't see the look of pain and disgust on her face.
Adam was sitting at his desk when I entered the room. He was accompanied by his councilors and they all smiled and rose as I entered the room. I curtsied to them and asked how they were but only Spencer responded by telling me I looked marvelous. I faked a smile and asked to speak to my husband privately.
"Can it not wait? We are in the middle of business." He snapped.
"I'm truly sorry to interrupt but it is urgent." I said sarcastically. He sighed and nodded to Paul who smirked and led the parade of men from the room.
"What?" he snapped again.
"My father is sick." I said and he nodded.
"I know." I bit back my anger and took a deep breath.
"I'm going to see him." His angry eyes flicked up at me and he smirked.
"Are you now?"
"Yes." I felt my hands start to shake. "I'm not asking. I'm informing."
"You are not taking my children with you." He said, knowing I would lose this battle. I sighed and leaned against my chair.
"I am aware that it would do no good to bring them along." I sighed. "I've instructed Helen and Regan to tend to them while I'm away and hope that it wont be too long."
"Helen and Regan? To care for the Princes of England?" He smirked. "Have a nice trip." He said and dismissed me. I blinked at him and was frozen. I could not believe how easy this was.
"That's it?" He looked up at me confused. "You're not going to fight me?"
"I don't care what you do anymore Susanna. As long as my children are safe then that's all that matters."
"When did you start caring about our children?" I snapped.
"The moment you decided to leave them." He said and strode into his bedroom doors, shutting them behind him. I felt my knees shake and my heart broke. I wasn't leaving them for good but I needed to see my father. I needed to care for him and who knows how long that would take. So now I was torn. Do I abandon one family for the other?
A week later I sobbed as the carriage left the castle. Albert wasn't talking to me and Anthony was constantly crying. I told them I wouldn't be gone for long but they all knew I was lying. I didn't tell them where or why I was going just that I had to go. But I told them I would be back before the baby was born.
It was a long and bumpy ride with no stops, due to my eagerness to get there. And my driver asked no questions, just whistled merrily as we drove along. By the time we pulled up to the cottage I was sore, hungry and in desperate need of a comfy bed. It was the same as it always was only it seemed to be colder, darker, sadder.
No one ran out to greet me. There was no merriment in the air like I remembered. It was a sad place. So different since the last time I was here. I thanked the driver and slowly waddled up to the front door. I placed my hand on the handle and briefly thought I should knock. I pushed open the door and the smell of the house took my breath away. It stunk like death and the fire was roaring. It was disgustingly hot. The hay was dirty and the place was a mess. I heard noises coming from up stairs and I headed in that direction.
"My whole life has been a lie!" A girl shouted.
"It was for your own good." A weak voice answered.
"We don't think of you any differently." Jacob's voice. "We've always loved you as if you were our actual daughter."
"You are our daughter!" Debbie sobbed.
"No I am not. You lied to me! You all lied to me! You let me believe that…you let me think…I HATE YOU!" A tall girl with jet-black hair came racing down the staircase. She almost knocked me over.
"Aggie?" I blinked and her green eyes went from sad to shock to sadness again.
"You knew too didn't you?"
"Knew what? What's going on?"
"You knew that- that- my… Jacob is my brother." She sobbed. I touched her arm gently and whispered her name. She yanked her arm away from me.
"How could you? You of all people. You were the one I was closest too. The one I looked up to. You are just as bad as them." She said and pushed past me.
"Aggie wait!" I said and stepped towards her.
"Just leave her Susanna. She needs time." David's cool hand touched my shoulder and calm voice appeared beside me.
"David." I sighed and he wrapped me in his arms. My little brother was a giant. With long red hair and a red beard his head almost touched the ceiling and his chest was firmer, not as scrawny as when I had left.
"Bet you wish you had stayed at the castle." He chuckled slightly and I shook my head.
"It's good to be home." I said. I stared at the open door and watched as an old lanky dog shuffled in. "Lucian?" I asked looking up at David and then watched the dog wander over the fireplace and lay down.
"He's deaf now. Poor guy. And slightly blind but he's got one good eye and he'll recognize you're scent. Although…" David inhaled my deeply. "You smell much nicer than you used to." He teased. I swatted him in the stomach and waddled over to the dog. "And you're a lot fatter than you were before."
"I was pregnant last time I saw you remember?" I smirked and then our smiles faded as we remembered that night.
"Well either way you haven't changed a bit." He said and smiled, trying to changed the subject. I patted Lucian's head and he blinked at me, sniffed my hand and his tail wagged excitedly, or at least as much as an old tired dog could wag his tail. I kissed his nose and felt tears in my eyes. Adam had made me send him here when he attacked one of the guards out side of Albert's room one night. Nearly killed the man, with two tiny scratches on his right arm. It was a fight that I was determined not to lose but like all of our fights lost not only my friend but a little piece of myself as well.
"Why did you have to tell her now Papa." Jacob's voice was angry.
"She needed to know."
"We would have told her eventually." Debbie sobbed.
"She is my daughter." Papa snapped back in a tired weak voice. I looked up at David and he shook his head sadly.
"Is it that bad?" I asked and he sighed.
"You should go and see him. I'll go and look for Aggie." He helped me up and kissed my forehead. "It's good to see you again Sis."
I slowly climbed the stairs and pushed open my father's door to find my brothers at both sides of my father's bed and my sister wiping away the sweat and her own tear drops on his forehead.
"Susanna." She whispered as if I were a ghost. I couldn't help the smile and tears that appeared on my face.
"Is that really you?" Papa whispered and I let out a sob.
"Hello Papa." I said. It had been 11 years since I had seen them and they had all changed so much. Jacob had a long beard and Bradley had glasses. Debbie was very round now and had more grey hair. No one moved to touch me or smile at me. "How are you?" I asked studying my dying father's face. He raised held out his hand and I grasped it tightly. He brought it to his mouth and kissed it.
"Fine dear. Just fine." He groaned and then coughed into a handkerchief. Blood appeared on the white fabric and I looked at Debbie who shook her head.
"You look marvelous." I smiled through my tears and he laughed.
"You must've forgotten what I looked like then." He said and I smiled.
"She's probably forgotten more than just what you look like Papa." Jacob attacked. I frowned at him and Debbie gave him a scolding look.
"Now is not the time." She whispered.
"What does that mean?" I attacked back feeling very overwhelmed at all the commotion.
"We never hear from you or see you. We have two nephews that we hear about from neighbors and we don't even know them. I'm sorry that I'm a little annoyed that you just show up one day and expect everything to be perfect."
"I don't expect that!" I winced as the baby kicked my ribs. "You know that it isn't safe. You know that I am trying to protect you." He laughed sarcastically and then scowled.
"Why did you come?" He snapped, standing inches away from my face.
"Jacob please!" Debbie grabbed his arm. "I wrote to her and asked her to come."
"I'm glad she's here." Bradley said holding my hand.
"As am I. All my children under one roof again." Father whispered and the room went silent as we watched our father fall asleep.
We each took turns sitting by his bedside, wiping his forehead and feeding him soup and tea. Just as I started dozing off David knocked on the door to take his turn. Debbie had taken the children home to bed and Jacob and Bradley were still out looking for Aggie.
"Any sign of her?" I whispered but David shook his head sadly.
"I don't know where she ran off too. There's no sign of her."
"I hope she didn't get too far. It's so dangerous out there." I said looking out into the pitch-black night. I saw a flicker of light and blinked. Out in the field something was glimmering in the grass. I stood up quickly and without another word left the room. David's voice registered in my head but I didn't stop I just kept walking. I grabbed a lantern, wrapped myself in a blanket and headed out into the cool dark night.
I started calling out her name and every couple of feet I would stop walking and listen. At one point I heard a laugh and I picked up my pace. I got to a point in the field where I was tired of walking and I could barely see the house anymore. I called her name one last time and when there was no reply I sighed and decided it was time to turn around.
When I turned around and gazed at the face in front of me I almost died of a heart attack. I clutched my chest and struggled for breath.
"Hello my darling." He said and I blinked.
"You…What? How?" He smiled at me and his eyes were the same as I had remembered them. His dark brown eyes twinkled with amusement and seemed to hold all my secrets. "Andrew?" I asked. He touched my face and my knees gave out and I dropped to the floor. He jumped and touched my arms, his icy cold hands on my skin, but there were there and I could feel them.
"Are you alright?"
"But…how is this possible?"
"You don't remember talking to me before?" he said sitting cross-legged in front of me. I shook my head; words had escaped me. "That time in the forest with the king? When I gave you the warning that you didn't listen too? And all those dreams I visited you in during your second pregnancy when I told you that it…"
"Wasn't his baby. Yes I remember. You also told me that she was alive. But I was so confused I didn't know what you were talking about. I assumed when Addie was born that you meant her." He smiled and shook his head.
"Oh Susanna. You have not changed one bit."
"Why can I see you? Can everyone see you?"
"You got sick once, remember? When you met Theodore?" I nodded remembering Maria's horrified expression when I had told her. "You almost died that day. And because you came so close to death you opened a passage that allows to you speak to dead people. Some people you have spoken with you haven't even noticed are dead."
"Who?"
"For an example you spoke with Lord Cumberland before you left. Well he spoke you just smiled and nodded remember?" I thought back to the meeting Adam had had and Spencer had told me that I looked marvelous. He had been leaning against the wall and I didn't realize how out of character that was. Spencer, for one thing, didn't lean and he hated standing.
"Spencer?" I said shocked. "When?"
"Last Christmas. Maria had written you a letter but you were too wound up in your own sorrows to think about other people's." He sounded as if he were annoyed with me.
"Oh Maria." I felt tears in my eyes and he patted my shoulder.
"Come now stop crying." He scolded.
"You're more stern than I remember."
"I've been dead for almost 15 years and I've watched you make stupid mistakes over and over since that day. Plus seeing you pregnant agitates me a little." He smiled sadly as he touched my stomach. "He will be the best king this country has seen in years." I felt my heart stop and shook my head.
"But he has two older brothers." Andrew avoided my gaze.
"They are not of royal blood." He said feeling the babe inside move frantically.
"Oh God!" I felt my heartbeat quicken, my head went light and my water broke. "Oh god!" I shrieked watching my skirts darken with wet.
"Don't panic Susanna. Your children were destined for greatness. Just remember, when she comes back be patient. Love her as you always have but be patient. She was destined for greatness." He stood up and started walking away.
"No wait! I'm in labour. I can't have the baby here. Help me. Andrew please." He stopped walking and turned to me.
"Would I abandon you if I knew that you needed help?" he looked towards the house and a man's voice came through the grass. I called out and within seconds Jacob appeared in front of me. He looked hopeful for a second and the frowned.
"Jacob please." I begged and felt my body go into a terrifyingly painful contraction. He watched me for a second and sighed and helped me off the ground. I looked back briefly and Andrew smiled. "Be patient." He said and with that the lantern went out and we were slowly walking back to the house in darkness.
6 hours of labour and 8 hours of studying my brand new baby later I sat thinking about what Andrew had said. Your children were destined for greatness. He will be the best King this country has seen in years.
"What are you going to name him?" 11-year-old Anne asked me from the side of my bed. I looked at her and smiled and then turned back to my red headed, healthy baby boy. "He's going to be a great King some day." I said. "So I shall call him Arthur."
