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Okay, you guys. This chapter is gonna be heavy. Really heavy.
There are hints of sexual abuse in it, so please, if that is something you can't handle, don't read this chapter.
It's not really described in detail, but still...


Chapter four

The next few weeks, a pattern formed. Fighting, detention, fighting, detention. And not only with Neal. No, everybody who was in his way. So, after a big fight with a guy who bumped into him in the hallway, Vinnie was sitting in the headmaster office again. The black furred mouse looked at Vinnie, disappointment written on his face.
"Your father is on his way. I had no other chance to let him come over. AGAIN. You are out of control, Vincent. What is wrong with you?"
Vinnie said nothing, looking at the headmaster with a challenging look in his eyes. The door opened and Vinnie quickly looked who came inside. His heart made a little jump. Was his mom gonna be here? Was she finally, after all these troubles he got himself into, gonna be here? But again, only his father walked in. Vinnie sank back into his seat again, making sure he looked nonchalant. Like he didn't care. Finn took place next to him.
"Glad you could come, mister van Wham. Your son is getting himself in a lot of trouble lately."
Finn sighed and nodded. "I apologize for my son's behaviour, sir."
Vinnie rolled his eyes. They always talked about him like he wasn't there. Nobody cared about him.
"I know your son is a good boy. I know he has a good heart. That's why I've decided to give him one last chance. Make sure he is not gonna throw that away. Otherwise, I will be forced to expel him. But something is clearly bothering him. Talk to him."
"I will. And I will make sure he is gonna take this chance. Come on, buddy. Let's go."
Finn shook the headmaster's hand and Vinnie followed him outside. When they were standing by Finn's bike, he turned around to face his son.
"Vinnie, please. Stop doing this to yourself. You are throwing away your future, you know that, right?"
Vinnie couldn't believe his oversized ears. Like this was his fault. It was his mom's fault. And his father's. Why did the guy never stood up for him? Why… but Vinnie stopped himself. He had tortured himself with this questions a long time. So many questions and no answers at all. He looked at his father, at the tormented look in his eyes, at his hanging shoulders. The guy was weak, Vinnie realized. He destroyed his own life, his son's life, to be with someone who was dead from the inside. Vinnie clenched his fists.
"Why didn't you leave her?", he asked with a low voice. Finn looked startled at this question.
"Vinnie, you are missing the point here. We are talking about you and…"
"Missing the point?", Vinnie interrupted him. "Right. If someone is missing the point here, it will be you. But never mind. I don't know why I should even TRY to talk to you about it. If we just ignore the problem long enough, it isn't there, right?"
He turned around and walked away. He could hear his dad yelling his name, but he ignored him. His blood was boiling and he felt so frustrated. Dammit. What to do? What to do to make this stop? He walked into town and stopped for a bar. He stared at it. He needed to calm down. But he didn't knew how.
Suddenly, he saw the image of his mother, drunk. He always had hated alcohol, but maybe it did take away the pain. The anger. The sorrow. He made a decision and marched inside, straight to the bar.
"Give me the strongest drink you have", he said with a shaky voice, looking at the bartender. The guy smiled and grabbed a bottle of Martian Liquor.
"This will help you forget, buddy", he said and poured the drink into a big glass.
Vinnie took a big sip and felt the drink slowly burning his way down to his stomach. Hmmm… It tasted kinda good, actually. He sat down and looked around him. There was a group of mice of his age sitting in the corner. He never had seen them before, they probably went to another school. They all were drunk, he could tell by the noise they were making. One of the girls spotted him and looked at him appreciatively. Vinnie blushed and focussed on his drink again. He gave himself a mental scolding. Come on, macho mouse. Don't be shy. That kind of emotion wasn't allowed anymore, remember? You care about nothing. He looked at himself in the mirror that was hanging on the wall behind the bar. He did look good. His body was well formed, musculair from the training. His snow white fur was soft and shiny, his clothes made him look way more badass then he sometimes felt... He smiled at himself, a pretty face with a cocky grin looked back. Yeah… He looked good.

He stayed at the bar the whole day and night. He was right. The alcohol did take away the sharp edges of the pain. Suddenly the girl, who checked him out earlier, popped up next to him. She swung an arm around his neck, giggling.
"Hey there, handsome. Having fun?"
Vinnie swallowed and forced himself to stay cool. No fear. No insecurity.
"Well, it was kinda boring till you came to talk to me", he said arrogant, looking at her.
The girl laughed and pinched his cheek.
"Why don't we go find a little more private place?", she whispered in his ear. Vinnie shrugged.
"That is the best idea I've heard in a long time", he said, winking at her. He was surprised how easy this was, how good he actually was at this. He noticed how the girl reacted on his charms. The girl giggled and grabbed his hand. She dragged him upstairs and into a empty bedroom. She closed the door and threw him on the bed. Vinnie had actually no idea what to do, since this was his first time with a girl. But his hormones took over. He grabbed the girl and turned around. Now he was lying on top of her and he pressed his lips on hers. She kissed him back eagerly. Vinnie did what he felt like he needed to do. He just hoped he was doing it right.

After, they were lying in bed, breathing heavily. Vinnie was euphoric. If he had known before how good sex was, he really had tried it earlier. It was such a rush, the feeling it gave him… wauw… It was the same feeling he got when he was fighting with someone. Adrenaline… He loved it. The girl was satisfied too, thank god. He had the idea she didn't knew it was his first time. No way he was gonna tell her that, though. No, that would be his little secret.
Suddenly, the door flew open. Vinnie jumped up and saw a big, angry, blond furred mouse standing. The guy narrowed his eyes and the girl quickly jumped out of bed.
"Matt! I eh... I…", she stuttered.
Matt stared at her. "You little whore…", he growled.
Vinnie quickly pulled on his pants and looked at the guy. What the fuck was he doing here? He felt his anger coming up again, closer to the surface.
"What are you doing in bed with my girlfriend?", the guy roared, his attention now at the white furred mouse.. Vinnie laughed, he just couldn't help himself. But it wasn't a nice laugh.
"Wauw… some girlfriend…", he snickered, shaking his head. The girl narrowed her eyes.
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"Well, it was you after all who practically begged me to fuck you… That doesn't make you good girlfriend material, right? Or maybe your boyfriend here just can't satisfy you like I did…", he said, provoking the blonde mouse. He just couldn't stop himself. His emotions took over.
"You're dead!", Matt yelled and jumped at Vinnie.
Vinnie quickly stepped aside, grabbed the blonde mouse and pushed him in the direction of the window. The glass shattered and poor Matt flew outside. He landed hard on the ground. Vinnie popped his head out and smiled.
"You know, Matt… I think I take your word on this one. Your girlfriend is indeed a little whore. You can have her!" He turned around, pushed the shocked girl out of the way and walked down the stairs. He took his place at the bar again and ordered another drink. Yeah… This was the life. He never had felt this powerful. Nobody could hurt him. Nobody could come near him. He was invincible.

Present

Vinnie was floating. His head was killing him. He tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't. It was like they were glued together. He also couldn't move a muscle, no matter how hard he tried. He started to feel a little bit panicked. He was trapped in his own body, floating between past en present. He could hear Violet's voice, but couldn't really understand what she was saying. He could feel her holding his hand, but he couldn't respond. He felt the darkness pulling on him, dragging him back to a place he so didn't want to be right now. He tried to fight it, but it was no use. Everything became very dark and suddenly, he saw himself, lying in bed. But not in the hospital bed, no… He was looking at himself again, when he was sixteen years old. He was fighting to get the hell out of here, but it was no use. He was forced to look at himself, to see all the shit he had done when he was young… DAMMIT. He knew it was only getting worse...

Past

The next day, Vinnie woke up with a huge pounding headache. He moaned and turned around again, but someone walked into his room.
"Vincent, get up. You need to go to school. Don't mess up your chance, buddy. Come on.." and his father pulled the blanket away.
"Leave me alone", Vinnie growled. Finn sighed.
"Please, buddy, come on… If you don't want to do it for yourself, then do it for me…", he pleaded.
Vinnie rolled his eyes. Why didn't he never noticed before how weak his dad actually was? Here he was, practically begging his son to go to school. Living in a house without love with a woman who was not only destroying herself, but dragging her whole family with her in the process. And he did nothing. Nothing.
Vinnie dragged himself out of bed.
"Fine, I'll go. Jezus."
Finn looked at him and narrowed his eyes.
"What did you do last night? You came home late… And do I smell alcohol? Vincent, really, how…" but Vinnie whirled around and looked at his father with fuming eyes.
"Don't you DARE to accuse me… Don't you dare to say it! You have NO right!", he snapped, his tail lashing through the air. Finn stared at him, sadness in his eyes.
"What happened to you, son? Where is the Vincent I know? How…"
Vinnie shook his head. "You are unbelievable. Get out. Now."
"Vinnie…", but Vinnie had enough.
"Get. Out. NOW!"
"Buddy, come on…"
"OOOUUT!", Vinnie screamed with a raw voice.
He looked at his father with fuming eyes, his fists clenched. He was shaking, his muscles tensed to stop himself from hitting the light out of his fathers eyes.
Finn left the room, his shoulders hanging, which irritated Vinnie even more. God, he hated him. His weakness. And really, was he blind?
'What happened to you?'
Geeezzz, maybe a mother who beat the crap out of me, who completely ignores my existence now and a father who never stood up for me… Yeah, I wondered what happened too. Ugh. Vinnie shook his head in anger, pulling on some clothes. He grabbed his bag. He would go to school.
To get out of this house, where madness clearly was contagious.

When Vinnie walked into the school, he saw he was too late. Again. Ah well. He didn't care. He walked to his locker, his head still pounding. He was nauseous and the smell of food that came out of the cafetaria didn't really help. Vinnie sighed agitated and slammed his locker closed. But the door bounced back. He slammed the door again, but it bounced back. Again. Vinnie gritted his teeth and punched against the locker door. But it still didn't close.
"God dammit, why don't you just close!?", Vinnie growled, pushing the door with all his strength. With a satisfying click, the locker closed.
"There! Was that so hard? Jezus…"
Feeling very grumpy, he walked to his class. He kicked the door open and closed it again with great force. The whole class stared at him, the teacher was speechless for a few moments. Vinnie walked to his place and sat down with a sigh.
"Vincent! At first, you are late and second; didn't your mother never teach you how to walk into a room?", the teacher yelled at him. Vinnie laughed. The irony.
"No, the only thing my mom teached me is how to get drunk."
The whole class held in their breath. The teacher narrowed his eyes.
"Get out, now. Straight to the headmaster."
Vinnie sighed, clearly annoyed and stood up. His chair fell on the ground with a bang, but he didn't bother to pick it up. He walked to the door and he closed it with even greater force than when he walked in. The glass in the door shattered and Vinnie could see the shocked look on his teacher's face. He smiled and strolled outside. No way he was gonna see the headmaster.
Suddenly, someone bumped up against him. He whirled around and saw Neal smiling smugly at him. That's it. Enough was just enough. Vinnie felt something snap in his head. He threw away his bag and jumped at Neal. The bully tried to dodge it, but Vinnie was too fast. The white furred mouse tackled him with his tail and grabbed him by the throat.
"You just never learn, now don't you? How many times do I need to say it to you? LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!", Vinnie growled, squeezing Neal's throat.
The poor mouse tried to breathe, but Vinnie was strong. And very, very angry.
Suddenly, they were surrounded by teachers and somebody dragged Vinnie away from Neal. Vinnie was struggling to get loose, a red haze in front of his eyes blurred his vision.
"Let me GO! He needs to learn, GOD DAMMIT! He needs to learn to LEAVE ME ALONE!", Vinnie screamed. Neal was lying on the ground, coughing loud.
"Oh come on, don't be such a pussy!", Vinnie yelled at him, still struggling. Neal looked at him with fear in his eyes.
"Vincent, calm down! NOW!" The headmaster ran outside with a very angry look on his face. Vinnie stopped struggling. Not because the headmaster wanted him to, but because he knew his chance to learn that son of a bitch a final lesson was gone. But he vowed to himself, he was gonna get him.
If there's something in the way, you can always whip some tail another day.

"Vincent, you had your chances. I'm sorry to say this, but my hands are tied. I did everything I could to help you, but you are a lost cause. I hereby expel you from this school. I have no choice to call your parents..."
"Save yourself the trouble. They don't care about me. They never did. Nobody cares. I'm on my own. And don't act like you did everything to help me. You did nothing but yelling at me. You never saw what really was going on. So, puhlease, spare me the guardian angel crap. I'm outta here…" and Vinnie walked out.
Outside, Neal was still at the same spot. When he saw Vinnie, he jumped up and quickly stood close to his friends. Vinnie smiled. Finally, the tables were turned. Now Neal was the scared, little dear. Vinnie walked right past him and bumped his shoulder against Neal's, but Neal didn't respond. Good.

"Martian liquor, the biggest glass you have", Vinnie demanded. The bartender gave him what he asked and Vinnie sat down at the bar. He emptied half the glass at once and burped. Ahhh. He looked around him. He saw the same girl he hooked up with the other day. She was sitting next to her boyfriend, who had his arm in a cast. They both avoided to look at him. Vinnie shook his head and focussed on his glass again.
He felt the alcohol did his work. The pain, the sorrow.. it all became less heavy. But it was still there. It was there every day, when he woke up, when he went to bed… The alcohol did make it less heavy. But the anger, the frustration… Nothing could take that away. Or even make it less heavy. No. It was like a monster inside of him, close to the surface, waiting to come out by every small trigger. And there was nothing that could leash the monster. No.
Vinnie felt he was losing himself. And there was nothing he could do to stop it…

A few weeks later. It was a saturday night and Vinnie was drunk. But really drunk. He was hanging at the bar, barely capable to keep his head upright. His eyes were half closed and he stared at something behind the bar. Suddenly, he felt that someone took place next to him. He glanced from the corner of his eye. It was a female mouse, very pretty. And not drunk. He forced himself to sit up straight and turned his head to look at her. She looked back and he smiled. She blushed and smiled shy back. Vinnie leaned forward.
"Say doll. Can I buy you a drink?", he asked, still smiling his most charming smile.
It worked. It always worked. He had noticed the past weeks that he was really good to get into a girls head and he was obsessed with it. How to play them. How to make them do what he wanted. It made him feel powerful. He was a quick learner. And he had had enough time to practise. It was now 24 hours ago since he had sex. Time for his next conquest. Let's do this.
The girl giggled.
"Sure, why not?"
Vinnie waved at the bartender. "The same for me and a cocktail for the pretty lady."
The girl giggled again, still blushing. She must be young, inexperienced and naive. Probably her first time here. Good.
"Cheers, sweetheart", he said, and he slammed his glass against hers. Sweetheart… What a wonderful word…
"So, first time here?", he asked nonchalant. The girl nodded.
"Eh, yeah, actually it is… I supposed to meet my friend here, but she still isn't here… My parents are gonna kill me if they find out. But they need to learn I'm old enough now, to go out."
"They don't trust you?"
"They do trust me. But my father keeps preaching about boys and their hormones, how many bad people there are in the world, that I'm naive blablabla. I told him he was overreacting, but he kept whining about it. So, my friend and I decided to go without telling them…"
Vinnie smiled. "You got nothing to worry about, sweetheart. I will protect you against all the bad people…"
She smiled back. "Thanks! That's very kind of you."
Oh yeah… She really was naive.
"So, how did you end up here?", she asked, looking at him curiously. Vinnie waved his hand.
"Same as you. Going out, like you suppose to do when you are young and carefree…"
"So true! To freedom!", she said, raising her glass.
"Yeah, to freedom…", Vinnie smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. She didn't notice, though.

A few drinks later, she was drunk. By the looks of things, she never had alcohol before and her body reacted pretty heavy on it. She was hanging against Vinnie, he had a arm around her shoulders to support her. Her friend did show up, but damn, that girl was a pain in the ass. She kept telling Elena, apparently that was the girl's name, she needed to slow down with the alcohol. But Elena didn't want to hear it. The sweet, naive girl was determined to fully enjoy her first evening out. Her friend kept giving Vinnie dirty looks, but Vinnie ignored her. He had a mission. Namely, getting into Elena's pants. And nobody was gonna stop him.
"Wooow, the whole world is spinning…", Elena smiled, her eyes half closed. Vinnie decided it was time to make his move.
"Come on, sweetheart. Let's get you some fresh air", and he helped Elena to stand up. Her friend immediately jumped up.
"I'll go with you", she said to Elena, but thankfully, Elena shook her head.
"No, you stay here and have fun… Be right back."
Vinnie winked at the other girl and dragged Elena with him outside. She giggled when she stumbled and Vinnie caught her.
"Oops", she laughed.
Vinnie rolled his eyes. This girl was getting on his nerves. But no need to stop his mission now. That would make this a waste of his time. And money. He was too far now.
"Come on, pretty lady, let's get to a little bit more quiet place…"
For the first time, the girl hesitated. But then, a determined look came on her face. She got nothing to worry about, right? This nice boy would keep her save.
Oh, if only she knew...

Present

Vinnie was screaming, fighting to get the hell away from this memory. He didn't want to see it. He didn't want to relive it. But his body was still paralyzed. From the inside, he was panicking, fighting, screaming, kicking… But his body didn't respond. No… No, no, no, NO! He hated himself for what he was about to do to that poor girl. He didn't want to see it. But he had no choice. He couldn't escape. He couldn't close his eyes to make it go away. He couldn't run away... He was completely helpless.
Violet noticed his breathing became heavier, a tear escaped out of his eye. She grabbed his hand.
"Vinnie, calm down. I'm here. Nothing's gonna harm you. Not while I'm around…" but it was useless. He didn't hear her.
His eyes were flying into every direction under his closed eyelids. His fur was soaked with sweat. But his body was lying perfectly still.
"God, Vinnie, what is it that is upsetting you so much? What are you dreaming about? I wish there was anything I could do… I just wish you wake up…"
She stood up and with a little effort, she succeeded to lay down next to her beloved husband. She wrapped her arm around his waist and lay her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating loud. But the only thing she could do was holding him and hoping he was somehow aware of it. That she was here. That she was by his side. That he wasn't alone...

Past

Vinnie found a empty barn close by the bar. He opened the door and looked around. Completely deserted. Good.
He closed the door behind them and turned around. He looked at Elena and she looked back at him, still with that stupid smile on her face. His hands slowly rubbed her body.
"You okay, sweetheart?"
"Yeah… You're nice… And really handsome… OH! Did I say that last part out loud? That…", but Vinnie lost his patience.
He pressed his lips on hers and she kissed him back after a little hesitation. He pressed her against him. Elena moaned, but when he took off her shirt, she stopped him.
"No… No, I'm ready for this yet… I'm sorry…", she stuttered, trying to push him away.
But Vinnie didn't burge. At first, he was way stronger than her, and second… she was so drunk, she hardly used any strength. She giggled again.
Vinnie had it. Again, something snapped in his head. This girl needed to shut up and do what he wanted. Like everybody else. The alcohol in his own system fed the darkness inside of him. It was like the monster took over. And again, there was nothing he could do about it.
He pushed her on the ground and ripped off her pants. He quickly unbelted his own pants.
"No… no.. please…", Elena weakly protested, but the alcohol paralyzed her.
"Your father was right, you know… There are a lot of bad people in this world… And you really are naive... Trusting me was a big mistake...", he whispered in her ear, a little smile on his lips.
Elena's eyes grew big, but it was too late…


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