Thanks for the review! :)


Chapter eight

Meanwhile, Throttle walked to the small 'hospital'. He walked inside and looked at Vinnie. The white furred mouse was wide awake, staring at the ceiling. He looked up to see who came inside and relaxed a bit when he saw it was Throttle.
"Hey bro", he said. Throttle took a seat next to his bed.
"Hey Vinnie. Glad to see you awake. How are you feeling?"
Vinnie shrugged.
"Okay, I guess…"
Throttle looked him in the eye, but Vinnie turned away his head. Throttle sighed.
"Violet knows there is something you are holding back, bro. She came to ask me what it was", he started, but Vinnie jerked up before he could finish his sentence. Throttle quickly held up his hands.
"Chill, Vin. I didn't tell her. But she needs to know. She deserves to know."
Vinnie was sitting cross legged on his bed. He said nothing.
"What did you dream about, Vincent?", Throttle asked, worried as always. Caring as a big brother. Vinnie sighed and played with the tip of his tail.
"Everything… Well, the worst parts… I couldn't escape. Man, it was… terrifying…"
Throttle nodded, feeling sorry for his younger bro. His childhood was hard and the fact that he needed to relive it again, well… That was something he didn't deserve.
"Listen, Vin. You are not that kinda guy anymore. Do you hear me? Yes, you did terrible things, you crossed so many lines, but the past is the past, okay? It's time to let go. To live here and now. You need to stop doubting about yourself. You know how to control yourself, most of the times. You are a good guy now. Caring. Loving. Loyal. A pain in the ass sometimes, but that is who you are. Do you hear me?"
Vinnie looked at him, pain and confusing in his eyes.
"I know, Throttle, trust me, I know… But letting go is not that easy. I want to. I want to let go. I want to forget everything till the day I met Violet. But I just can't. Because I am going to be a father and I really don't know how to do it. I'm scared, Throttle. So scared…", his voice broke. He took a few deep breaths, but he couldn't push it away. Saying how he felt broke down his walls. But Throttle had seen him on his worst days. He remembered now. Throttle knew and understood. The tan furred mouse clapped him on the back.
"I know, Vincent. I was scared too, you know? Before Tread was born… I had no clue how to be a father. But I can tell you this; the moment Tread was born, the fear was gone. I had him in my arms, he looked up at me with these big eyes… Filled with trust and love. And I knew, I immediately knew: I am going to do everything to make this little guy happy. If someone even thinks about hurting him, I will be there to protect him. I will always be there. I will raise him with love and respect, but the most important thing; I will always be by his side, to guide him, to pick him up when he falls… I will be there and I will give him everything to make sure he is gonna find out who he is. To be himself. And anybody who is trying to stop him from being himself, well… You can fill that part in. Trust me, Vinnie. You are gonna be a good father. Because you are a good guy. You have your demons. But learn from them. You know how it feels to be treated like shit by your own parents. No way you will do the same to you own kid. No way. I believe in you, Vin. I always have. And I will be there, to support you when you need it. Always."
Vinnie had listened to every word Throttle was saying, tears in his eyes. And he knew Throttle was right. Rationally, he knew. But it just didn't felt that way.
"Throttle, I… I think I never thanked you… For being here for me. For believing in me. For taking me in, for being my bro…"
Throttle smiled.
"No need to thank me, Vinnie my man. I just care about you. And you are my little bro. Always. You didn't deserve all that shit."
Vinnie nodded slowly.
"I eh… I need to tell Violet about Elena, right?"
This was the first time he spoke her name out loud after all these years. He had locked her away, in the deepest and darkest place in his brain. But this accident, this coma had opened the doors. He suddenly realized it maybe was a good thing. He needed to learn to live with his pain, with his sorrow, instead of locking it away. It always came back, twice as hard. He had learned that the hard way.
"Yeah, you need to tell her."
"Throttle? I keep thinking about what Cole said to me, you remember that?"
Throttle nodded and waited till Vinnie was continuing.
"I just… He was right, you know? I do deserve to be alone, to suffocate in my loneliness. I don't deserve Violet and I certainly don't deserve this child. Jezus, how is Violet gonna react if I tell her? What if she is gonna leave me? I can't even blame her. Who wants to be with a rapist?"
"Vin… I don't have answers to your questions. What you did, was wrong. Very wrong. On so many levels. But to live your whole life in loneliness… Well, I don't think anybody deserves that… Talk to Violet. Let her decide what to do with it. But just... be honest with her. She knows you are hiding something and she is not amused. Keeping things for yourself is the worst thing you can do to her."
Vinnie sighed and nodded.
"I know… Hey. Throttle?"
"Yeah, Vinnie?"
"Thanks. For always being here for me. Without you, I probably would be dead by now. Or suffocating in my loneliness. Because of you, I have a family. And words cannot express how grateful I am. I will tell Violet and after that, I'm gonna let my past go. I know who I am. And that guy, who I saw in my dreams… I know he is a part of me. But I will never, ever let him take over control again."
He said it with determination, but the fear was still tying his stomach in a knot. But he knew he needed to move forward. To stop looking over his shoulder all the time.
Throttle was impressed. Maybe he finally learned. Maybe, he was finally growing up. But, really growing up. He clapped his younger bro on the shoulder.
"You're welcome, Vin. And I am proud of you."
Vinnie smiled at him, a little sad.

Suddenly, Violet walked in. She froze when she saw the two of them. Throttle braced himself for another scolding, but she looked at him with shame on her face.
"Throttle, I'm so sorry about everything I've said. I don't know what was wrong with me, I…" but Throttle walked over to her and pulled her in his arms.
"No sorry, Vi. You were right. We are on the same team. Talk to him. And please, don't judge him too hard. Okay?"
"It really is bad, isn't it?", she whispered in his ear.
"Yeah, it is. But I still believe in him. Let him tell you his side of the story."
She let him go and slowly walked over to Vinnie. Throttle gave Vinnie one last smile and left the room. Violet sat down on the bed, also cross legged, so she could look him in the eye. He looked up at her, sadness and fear in his eyes. But also determination. And love. So much love.
"Sweetheart, I wanna start with saying I'm sorry I gave you the feeling I am hiding stuff from you. And maybe I did, but that was because I just woke up from hell and I needed some time. But Throttle convinced me to tell you everything and he is right. You don't deserve this. And the thing I'm about to tell you, well… I hate myself for what I did…", he trailed off.
He was overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. What if she was gonna leave him? That this huge mistake he made in his past, was gonna cost him his future? Gosh, he just wished he could turn back time and undo everything he had done. But he couldn't. And he needed to take the full responsibility for what he had done.
Violet was studying his face. He really was scared. His hands were shaking, his ears twitching, just like the tip of his tail.
"Easy, hotshot. I'm here…", she whispered and grabbed his hands. Vinnie swallowed and opened his mouth.
"You already knew how I lost my way when I was young. But I never told you how lost. Before things got out of control, I was just a scared, little boy. I was bullied on school and my mom hated me. I was scared every day, every hour and every minute. And I hated it. So, when I was getting older and things got out of control, I slowly got angry. And I used that anger to turn myself into someone I actually wasn't. Someone who wasn't afraid of anything, someone who was feared by others. I build up huge walls, to make sure nobody was gonna hurt me again. I was done with being scared. With feeling weak. And I loved it. I need to be honest with you, I loved the power this person gave me. I used my charms to get in a girls head and pants, and it always worked. And it made me feel invincible. Nobody even thought about saying no to me, or to stop me. No one, until I met Elena…" He fell silent.
Violet already had a nagging feeling about what was coming next, but she said nothing.
"Elena was a young, sweet, naive girl who came at the bar one night. It was her first time there. Her parents didn't know she was there, because they found her too young and too naive to go out. She was pretty. I was drunk. I wanted her. So, I played her. I fed her drunk. I took her with me. But when things got heated up, she rejected me. She told me she wasn't ready… And I… I just snapped. I just couldn't handle the fact she wasn't doing what I wanted her to do. She was the first who said no to me in a long time. So… I pushed her on the ground. I ripped off her pants… I whispered in her ear that she was indeed naive, by trusting me… And I… I…" Vinnie couldn't continue. Tears were streaming over his face, he was staring at his hands and he broke down. He cried like he hadn't cried in a long time. Violet just stared at him, but before she even realized it, she pulled him in a tight hug. She stroked his back and let him cry.
When he slowly calmed down, he opened his mouth again.
"She was paralyzed by the alcohol. She couldn't escape and begged me to stop. But I didn't. I… I raped her. And after that, I just left. I left her lying on the ground. She was in shock. Her eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. A tear that was coming out of her left eye… And I just walked away. She was fourteen years old. Fourteen… and I ruined her life. I can't justify what I did, I can't even explain why I did it. Because I simply don't understand. And believe me, there is nothing I regret more. But it happened. And I can't turn back the time. I need to live with this, the rest of my life. So, now you know…"
Violet just held him, her heart was sore. She just couldn't help it to feel sorry for him. She wished he was raised in a loving family. That would have made him so less complicated. He would have been happy. Not damaged, not broken…
Vinnie's heart was racing. Why wasn't she saying anything? She didn't push him away, so that was a good sign, right? He slowly untangled himself from her and looked at her. When he saw tears in her eyes, he gently cupped his hands around her face.
"Sweetheart, please don't cry… Please… Say something…"
Violet took a deep breath and looked in his ruby, red eyes.
"I love you. With every fibre in my body, I love you. And I'm so sorry for everything that happened to you. For the things that turned you into a person you aren't. I need to ask you. Was this a one time thing, or…?"
"Yes, it was. It never happened again. And it will never happen again. Ever…"
"I believe you. So, now I know everything? No more secrets?", Violet asked, her voice soft. Vinnie looked her straight in the eye.
"No more secrets. I promise. Bikers honour."
Violet nodded.
"Good. And now, you are gonna listen to me. It's time to move on, okay? I am done with living in the past. Sorry, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but we need to focus on us, on our child. You can always talk to me, but we can't change the past. We can change the future…" she stopped when she heard Vinnie breath in sharply.
"What?", she asked, confused.
Vinnie gave her a sad smile.
"That words… That was exact the same thing Tread told me when he took me in, you know…"
Violet smiled back.
"A very wise mouse, this Tread. He was right. I am right. Sorry to say. But it's time to let go. Yes, what you did was unforgivable. And I don't think I will ever forgive you for hurting that girl. But right now… I just wanna move forward, you know?"
Vinnie nodded.
"I know. I will try, okay? And please, dry your tears. Don't cry for me. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve this child. But I will do everything to make you happy."
Violet sighed and kissed him. He kissed her back and moaned softly.
"Gosh, sweetheart… You really are something…", he whispered, leaning with his forehead against hers.
"I know... You are too. Such a complicated guy. But god, I love you so much."
"I love you too, pretty lady."
He was ready. Ready to move on. But the fear was still there. The fear of being a father. But he tried to trust Throttle on this one. That when their baby was gonna be born, the fear would vanish.

"Throttle, I'm sorry. For everything I said…", Carbine whispered when they were lying in bed. Throttle turned around to face her.
"I know. It's okay. But you need to accept that things are the way they are. You think you can do that?"
"Yes. Yes, I can. And I will. I love you, Throttle."
"I love you too, Carbine…"
He kissed her and she kissed him back eagerly. But just when things started to heat up, Tread started crying. The both fell back on the bed with a deep sigh.
"Your turn, hotshot", Carbine said. Throttle shook his head.
"Uh uh, no way. It was my turn last night. I'm pretty sure we made a deal…", he said, smiling. Carbine giggled.
"I know. I was just checking if you were still sharp."
"Right. Now, go. Our son needs you. Babe."
Carbine gave him a kiss on his cheek before she slid out of bed.
"So bossy. Babe."

The next week, Vinnie was busy with recovering, but thanks to fast Martian Mouse healing, he was really quick back on his feet. And that was a good thing. Because one night, it was time.
Vinnie was hugging his pillow, deeply asleep. But his peaceful night rest was interrupted by a screaming Violet.
"VINCENT VAN WHAM! WAKE UP!"
Vinnie jerked upright and fell out of the bed. He was searching for his weapon, but then he realized they weren't at war anymore. He quickly looked across the edge of the bed to Violet with a dazed look on his face.
"Sweetheart, you…"
"DON'T YOU SWEETHEART ME! THIS BABY WANTS TO GET OUT!", she screamed, holding her belly and her face twisted in pain. Her fur was soaked with sweat and her eyes were fuming.
Vinnie stared at her with wide eyes. Holy shit. One; their baby was coming. Two; Violet was possessed by the devil. At least, that was how it looked like. He quickly called Swee.
"Swee, Violet is possessed and the baby wants out, you need to come here, NOW! Before she kills me or… Just come over here!", he yelled in the vidom, panic taking over. He had no idea what to do, and Violet was scary, to be honest. But he needed to be there for her. He hung up and quickly jumped on the bed next to her. He grabbed her hand.
"Easy, sweeth… Violet. Breath. Swee is on his way", he babbled, but Violet ignored him. She was breathing heavily. She held his head in an iron grip. Vinnie could feel his fingers almost got crushed.
"Sweetheart, you are hurting me…", he softly said, trying to get his hand out of her grip. With a jerk, Violet looked into his direction.
"I'm hurting you? You wanna switch place with me? Because only then you will know WHAT REALLY HURTS!"
"Jezus, Violet. Okay. Chill. I'm here…"
Violet moaned and let out a scream. Vinnie was terrified. Was this normal? Jezus, what the hell?
To his relief, Swee ran inside their cabin, followed by Throttle, Carbine, Modo, Gaya and Dani. Vinnie's eyes grew big.
"Maybe too crowded?", he asked with a low voice, but Violet screamed again. His ears flattened against his head.
Swee quickly examined Violet.
"Okay, girl. You are ready. But you need to breathe with me. You need to calm down."
"DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!", she snapped at him, but she tried to breathe with him.
Carbine quickly threw Throttle, Modo, Gaya and Dani out of the room and took place next to Vinnie. Even after everything that happened, she lay a hand on his shoulder.
"You okay?", she whispered, seeing the panic and fear on his face. He shook his head.
"Is this normal?", he asked back, softly. Carbine smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, it is. Don't worry, Vin. I've got your back."
Vinnie nodded and gave her a grateful smile. Carbine smiled back.
"What are you two whispering about? I'm having a baby here, in case you didn't notice?", Violet snarled.
Swee took place between her legs.
"Okay, Violet. Here we go. Push."
Violet took a deep breath and pushed. She squeezed her eyes and gritted her teeth. When she couldn't hold it any longer, she breathed out. Tears were streaming over her face. Vinnie just held her hand, whispering sweet words at her in Martian. She heard it, but couldn't react. The pain was unbearable. It felt as if her whole body was torn apart.
"Push."
Violet pushed and pushed, screaming. But suddenly, it was over.
Vinnie pricked his ears and heard a soft noise. A noise he hadn't heard before. And then, crying. Swee held up a tiny, naked little mouse and lay her gently on Violet's chest.
"It's a girl. Congratulations, you two."
Vinnie stared at the little bundle. Jezus. Holy shit. Damn. His daughter. He felt Violet grabbed his hand, gently this time. They both looked at her. She was perfect. Her tiny little ears, her little tail… Her eyes were still closed. Carbine smiled.
"Congratulations. I will leave you two alone now."
But Vinnie and Violet hardly noticed she left.
"Vinnie, she… she is perfect…", Violet sobbed. Vinnie felt his eyes filled with tears.
"Yeah… Yeah, she is…", he answered with a hoarse voice.
Swee came back and cut the navel cord. He quickly examined the tiny, little mouse and wrapped her in a blanket. He gently gave her back to Violet.
"She is in perfect health. I will leave you two alone."
Violet stared at the little bundle in her arms. She looked at Vinnie.
"You… You wanna hold her?", she whispered.
Vinnie felt his heart pounding, but he nodded. Violet lay their little mousie in his arms. He looked at her, at her tiny nose. Suddenly, her eyes flew open. Green. They were green. Just like her mothers. And Vinnie felt a tingle in his belly. Throttle was right. From the moment she opened her eyes and looked up at him, with unconditional love, he finally knew. He would never, ever do anything to hurt this beautiful creature. He would never damage her like his parents did to him. He was gonna take care of her. He was always gonna be there for her. Always. And he was gonna do everything it takes to be a good father to her. He looked at Violet, his eyes big. She smiled, tears in her eyes. Vinnie was loss at words. And we all know that doesn't happen that easily. But he finally felt peace inside. He was who he was. And he needed to accept that. But he vowed to himself, to his daughter, he was never gonna be that guy again. Never. Closure. The past was the past. Nothing was gonna change that. But the future… He smiled at his little daughter. The future was lying in his arms. He swung an arm around Violet and pulled her against him. He kissed her on the temple.
"Good job, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you."
Violet smiled at him and then looked at their little baby.
"Hey there, Star. Welcome to this world. To this beautiful world."

'Twinkle, twinkle, little star…
How I wonder what you are...
Up above the world so high…
Like a diamond in the sky…'

The end


Yes, this is the end for this storyline. For now, at least. But I'm not good with writing about kids and stuff. So I guess this is the real end.
But, for those who likes my stories; I started a new one. It's a whole new story and is called 'Breaking The Habit'. I will upload it soon.
Anyway, thanks for the support on this storyline. It has been one hell of a journey, for the characters and also for me.
But I really enjoined writing it. Thanks again!