Mad Eye Moody

The storm seemed to have blown itself out by the following morning, despite the ceiling in the Great Hall still being gloomy with the heavy clouds of pewter grey swirling overhead.

Arthur, David and Chrys all examined their new timetables during breakfast. A few seats away, Jack, Kevin and their friend, Lee Jordan, were all discussing magical methods of ageing themselves to bluff their way into the Triwizard Tournament.

"Well… today's not too bad." David said, running his finger down his timetable. "We're outside all morning with Herbology along with the Hufflepuffs… then there's Care of Magical Creatures… oh, bloody hell, I forgot, we're with the Slytherins."

"But we have double Divination this afternoon." Arthur groaned.

Other than Potions, Divinations was the most unbearable subject. This was due to Professor Trelawney predicting Arthur's death too many times, which he found so annoying that he felt that anyone who believed her were idiots.

"Why haven't you two dropped it like I have?" Chrys asked with a frown as she buttered her toast and spread some jam on it.

"Because we couldn't bother." David muttered.

Rustling then came from above them and saw that a hundred owls had come soaring through the open windows, carrying the morning mail.

Arthur kept his eyes open for Athena, but he couldn't spot her among the mass of brown and grey that circled the tables, looking for the people to whom the letters and packages were addressed to.

A large tawny owl soared to Neville Longbottom, depositing a parcel on his lap. He almost always forgot to pack something.

On the other side of the Hall, Draco's eagle owl landed on his shoulder, carrying his usual supplies of sweets and cakes from home.

Arthur returned to his porridge, despite feeling down that Sirius still hasn't replied to his letter.


This thought kept him preoccupied as he walked across the sodden vegetable patch and till they reached greenhouse three. He found himself distracted by Sprout showing the class what had to be the ugliest plants Arthur had ever seen. They didn't even look like plants and more like thick black giant slugs that protruded vertically out of the soil. Each squirmed slightly and had a number of large, shiny swellings upon it, seemingly filled with liquid.

"Bubotubers." Sprout told them briskly. "They need squeezing. You will collect the pus -"

"The what?" Seamus Finnigan asked, sounding as revolted as Arthur felt.

"Pus, Finnigan, pus…" Sprout said. "...and it's extremely valuable, so don't waste it. You will collect the pus, I say, in these bottles. Wear your dragon hide gloves, it can do funny things to the skin when undiluted, Bubotuber pus."

Squeezing them was really disgusting, yet satisfying in an odd way. As each swelling popped, a large amount of thick yellowish green liquid burst out, smelling a lot like petrol. They caught it in the bottles that Sprout indicated, and once the lesson ended, they collected several pints.

"This'll keep Madam Pomfrey happy." Sprout said, stoppering the last bottle with a cork. "An excellent remedy for the more stubborn forms of acne, Bubotuber pus. Should stop students resorting to desperate measures to rid themselves of pimples."

"Like poor Eloise Midgen." Hannah Abbot, a Hufflepuff, said in a hushed voice. "She tried to curse hers off."

"Silly girl." Sprout shook her head. "But Madam Pomfrey fixed her nose back on in the end."

A booming bell echoed from the castle across the wet and soggy grounds, meaning the lesson was over and so the class all separated.


Hufflepuff went to the castle for Transfiguration while the Gryffindors all headed in the other direction, down the sloping lawn to Hagrid's small cabin, which stood on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Hagrid stood outside his hut, one hand on the collar of Fang, his enormous black boarhound. There were also some open wooden crates on the ground at his feet, with Fang whimpering and straining at his collar, seemingly wanting to investigate the contents.

As they drew closer, there was an odd rattling noise, along with what sounded like minor explosions.

"Mornin'!" Hagrid grinned at the trio. "Be'er wait fer the Slytherins, they won' want ter miss this. Blast Ended Skrewts!"

"What?" David frowned.

Hagrid pointed at the crates.

"Eurgh!" Lavender Brown squealed, jumping backwards.

That easily summed up the Blast Ended Skrewts for Arthur. They just looked like shell-less lobsters, very pale in a horrible way along with slimy looking, with legs that stuck out in truly odd places and there weren't any visible heads.

There were a hundred in each crate, each being six inches long, crawling over each other and bumping blindly into the sides of the boxes. Their aroma smelled very much like rotting fish, making Arthur gag.

And every now and then, sparks flew out of the end of a Skrewt and with a small phut, it was propelled forwards by several inches.

"On'y jus' hatched…" Hagrid said proudly. "...so yeh'll be able ter raise 'em yourselves! Thought we'd make a bit of a project of it!"

"And why would we want to raise them?" Draco's cold voice sneered as he and the Slytherins had finally arrived. Both Crabbe and Goyle chuckled appreciatively at his words.

Hagrid was stumped at his question.

"I mean, what do they do?" Drack then asked. "What is the point of them?"

Hagrid opened his mouth, thinking hard for a few second of silence until he spoke roughly "Tha's next lesson, Malfoy. Yer jus' feedin' 'em today. Now, yeh'll wan' ter try 'em on a few diff'rent things. I've never had 'em before, not sure what they'll go fer. I got ant eggs an' frog liver an' a bit o' grass snake - just try 'em out with a bit of each."

"First pus and now this." Seamus muttered.

"I'm concerned he doesn't know what they eat." Mike whispered to Arthur, who agreed with him.

Deep affection for Hagrid was why the trio forced themselves to pick up squelchy handfuls of frog liver and lower them into the various crates to try and tempt the Blast Ended Skrewts. Arthur found it pointless as they didn't seem to have mouths.

"Ouch!" Dean Thomas yelled after ten minutes of this. "It got me!"

Hagrid hurried over to him, looking anxious.

"Its end exploded!" Dean angrily said as he showed Hagrid a burn on his hand.

"Ah, yeah, that can happen when they blast off." Hagrid nodded.

"Eurgh!" Lavender said again. "Eurgh, Hagrid, what's that pointy thing on it?"

"Ah, some of 'em have got stings." Hagrid said enthusiastically, making Lavender quickly withdraw her hand from the box. "I reckon they're the males… the females've got sorta sucker things on their bellies… I think they might be ter suck blood."

Arthur was now getting so much more worried because Hagrid clearly doesn't know about these Skrewts.

"Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive." Draco said sarcastically. "Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting and bite all at once?"

"Their looks don't determine how useful they are." Chrys snapped back at him. "Dragon's blood alone is very magical, but you obviously wouldn't want a dragon as a pet would you, despite that your first name means 'dragon'."

Arthur and David grinned at Hagrid, who gave a furtive smile in response under his bushy beard. Hagrid would love to have a dragon for a pet, something the trio knew too well, having owned one for a brief time during their first year. Who Arthur knew, thanks to Kenny, was a female Norwegian Ridgeback, Norberta. Hagrid had a concerning love for dangerous creatures, not seeing the danger in them. In fact, the more dangerous and lethal they are, the better.

"Well, at least these things are small." David said when they made their way up to the castle for lunch an hour later.

"Now, perhaps." Chrys said in exasperation. "I'm sure that when Hagrid finally finds out what they eat, they may end up growing six feet long."

"Did you even mean what you said to Draco by the way?" Arthur asked.

"Not really. I only said that to shut that whiny brat up. If anything, he might be right. It would just be best to stamp on them before they start attacking us."

The three all sat at the Gryffindor table, helping themselves to some lamb chops and potatoes, Chrys eating faster than Arthur and David.

"What are you doing?" David asked.

"I'm eating quickly so that I can go to the library." She replied.

"Seriously? It's the first day back. We don't even have homework yet!" David said in disbelief.

Chrys just shrugged as she still shovelled her food down, looking like she hadn't eaten in days. She then leapt to her feet and said "See you at dinner!" before departing at top speed.


When the bell rang, indicating that the afternoon lessons were starting, Arthur and David headed off for the North Tower, where at the top of a tightly spiralling staircase was a silver stepladder that led to a circular trapdoor in the ceiling and into the room where Trelawney lived.

That familiar sickly sweet perfume emanated from the fire met their nostrils when emerging at the top of the stepladder. And as expected, the curtains were all closed, causing the circular room to be bathed in a dim reddish light that was cast by the many lamps, which were draped with scarves and shawls.

The two walked through the mass of occupied chintz chairs and pouffes that cluttered the room and sat at the same circular table, where Mike ended up joining them.

"Good day." Trelawney's mist voice said right behind Arthur, making him jump right before he got annoyed immediately.

She was a very thin woman with enormous glasses that made her eyes seem far too large for her face. She peered down at him with that tragic expression she always wore whenever she laid eyes on him. The usual large quantity of beads, chains and bangles all glittered upon her person in the firelight.

"You are preoccupied, my dear." She said mournfully to the still annoyed Arthur. "My Inner Eye sees past your brave face to the troubled soul within. And I regret to say that your worries are not baseless. I see difficult times ahead for you, alas… most difficult… I fear the thing you dread will indeed come to pass… and perhaps sooner than you think…."

Her voice had dropped to a whisper. Both David and Mike rolled their eyes at Arthur, who looked stone faced.

Trelawney then swept past them and seated herself in a large winged armchair before the fire, facing the whole class. Both Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, who deeply admired her, sat in pouffes very close to her.

"My dears, it is time for us to consider the stars." She said. "The movements of the planets and the mysterious portents they reveal only to those who understand the steps of the celestial dance. Human destiny may be deciphered by the planetary rays, which intermingle…."

Arthur's thoughts started drifting. The perfume from the fire always made him feel very sleepy and lose concentration, which along with Trelawney's ramblings of fortune telling, always left him bored out of his mind. Though, he did think about what she said: "I fear that thing you dread will indeed come to pass."

Despite that, Arthur knew full well that Trelawney was nothing but a phoney and a fraud. He didn't really dread anything as of right now. The only thing that comes close is Sirius being caught… but Trelawney didn't know anything. Her brand of fortune telling was just lucky guesses and a spooky manner.

The only exception was the end of his third school year, when she predicted that Voldemort would rise again. And Dumbledore had said that he thought the trance was genuine after he described it to the Headmaster.

"Arthur!" David and Mike muttered.

"What?" He snapped at him, until he realised that the whole class was staring at him. He sat up straight, slapping his cheeks to wake him up proper.

"I was saying, my dear, that you were clearly born under the baleful influence of Saturn." Trelawney said, a faint note of resentment present in her voice over the fact that he wasn't hanging on her words.

"Excuse me?" He questioned with a frown.

"Saturn, dear, the planet Saturn!" She now sounded really irritated that he wasn't riveted by the news. "I was saying that Saturn was surely in a position of power in the heavens at the moment of your birth… your dark hair… your mean stature… tragic losses so young in life… I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in mid winter?"

Arthur looked at David and Mike with a look of utter amazement at the stupid and far off guess.

"No! I was born at the end of July! The middle of the summer!" He replied, sounding more irritated than her.

Both David and Mike tried hiding their laughter by making it seem like hacking coughs.

Half an hour later, they were given complicated circular charts, attempting to fill in the position of the planets at their moment of birth. It was all kinds of dull, requiring much consultation of timetables and calculations of angles.

"This is just pointless, if you ask me." Arthur muttered.

Lavender suddenly made a series of excited squeals.

"Oh, Professor, look! I think I've got an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?"

"It is Uranus, my dear." Trelawney said, peering down at the chart, resulting in Arthur, David and Mike to snigger, doing their best to hide it.

"A detailed analysis of the way the planetary movements in the coming month will affect you, with reference to your personal chart." Trelawney said at the end of the lesson, now sounding a lot like McGonagall. "I want it ready to hand in next Monday, and no excuses!"


"Honestly, what a miserable old bat." David said bitterly as they descended the staircases back to the Great Hall to have dinner. "It's gonna take all weekend."

"Homework?" Chrys asked as she caught up with them. "Professor Vector didn't give any, sorry."

They eventually reached the Entrance Hall, which was already packed as people queued for dinner.

They joined the end of the line when a loud voice rang out behind them.

"Merlon! Hey, Merlon!"

The trio turned to see Draco, Crabbe and Goyle standing there, looking thoroughly pleased about something.

"What do you want?" David snapped at him.

"Both your dad and Weasley are in the paper, Merlon!" Draco said, brandishing a copy of the Daily Prophet, speaking loudly for everyone to hear. "Listen to this!"

FURTHER MISTAKES AT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC

It seems as though the Ministry of Magic's troubles are not yet at an end, writes Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent. Recently under fire for its poor crowd control at the Quidditch World Cup, and still unable to account for the disappearance of one of its witches, the Ministry was plunged into fresh embarrassment yesterday by the antic of Gerry Weasley, of the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office and Benjamin Merlon, an Auror and descendant of Merlin himself.

Draco then looked up.

"Imagine them not even getting Weasley's name right. It's almost as though he's a complete nonentity, isn't it?" He crowed.

Everyone was now listening as Draco straightened the paper with an over the top flourish before continuing on:

Gerry Weasley, who was charged with enchanting a flying car two years ago, was, along with Benjamin Merlon, yesterday involved with a tussle with several Muggle law keepers ('policemen') over a number of highly aggressive dustbins. Mr Weasley and Mr Merlon appear to have rushed to the aid of 'Mad Eye' Moody, the aged ex-Auror who retired from the Ministry when no longer able to tell the difference between a handshake and attempted murder.

Unsurprisingly, the two men found, upon arrival at Mr Moody's heavily guarded house, that Mr Moody had once again raised a false alarm. Mr Weasley and Merlon were forced to modify several memories before he could escape from the policemen, but refused to answer Daily Prophet questions about why he had involved the Ministry in such an undignified and potentially embarrassing scene.

"And there's a picture, Merlon!" Draco said, flipping the paper over and holding it up. "A picture of your parents outside their manor. Your mother could do an extreme makeover, couldn't she?"

David was shaking with fury as everyone stared at him.

"Stop being such a drama queen, Draco." Arthur said. "C'mon, David…."

"Oh, yeah you were staying with them this summer, weren't you, Pendergast?" Draco sneered. "So tell me, is his mother really that unpleasant, or is it just the picture?"

Both Arthur and Chrys held David back from launching at Draco.

"She's actually much better looking than your mother, Draco." Arthur spat. "She looks like she sprayed herself with dung and urine all the time, probably because of your odour."

Draco's pale face went slightly pink. "Don't you dare insult my mother, Pendergast."

"Then keep your stupid, ugly and pathetic mouth shut, incest boy!" Arthur retorted as he turned away.

BANG

Several people screamed as Arthur felt something white hot graze his face. He reached into his robes for his wand but before he could touch it, a second long BANG was heard and a roar echoed through the Entrance Hall.

"OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!"

Arthur spun and saw Moody limping down the marble staircase. His wand was out and pointed it at a pure white ferret, which shivered on the stone flagged floor. Arthur realised that it was Draco and he ended up laughing so hard he fell to the floor.

Other than his laugh was a terrified silence in the Entrance Hall. No one except for Moody moved. He then looked at Arthur, who had finished laughing. At least his normal eye looked at Arthur as the other looked into the back of his head.

"Did he get you?" Moody growled, sounding low and gravelly.

"Idiot missed." Arthur replied.

"LEAVE IT!" Moody then shouted.

Arthur realised he wasn't talking to him as he looked past him and saw Crabbe was frozen in the middle of trying to pick up the white ferret. His rolling eye must be so magical that it can see out the back of his head.

Moody then limped over to Crabbe, Goyle and the ferret, which made a terrified squeak before taking off towards the dungeons.

"I don't think so!" Moody roared as he pointed his wand at the ferret again, now making it fly ten feet into the air and fall with a smack to the floor before bouncing upwards once more.

"I don't like people who attack when their opponent's back's turned." Moody growled as the ferret now bounced higher and higher, squealing in deserved pain. "Stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do…."

The ferret flew through the air, its legs and tail flailing helplessly.

"Never… do… that… again…." Moody then said, speaking each word as the ferret hit the stone floor and bounced up again.

"Professor Moody!" The shocked voice of McGonagall said as she came down the marble staircase with her arms full of books.

"Hello, Professor McGonagall." Moody greeted her calmly, still bouncing the ferret higher.

"What - what are you doing?" McGonagall said, her eyes following the ferret in the air.

"Teaching." Moody replied.

"Teach - Moody, is that a student?" McGonagall shrieked in realisation, the books spilling out of her arms.

"Yep." Moody replied.

"No!" She cried, running down the stairs and pulling out her wand.

A moment later, with a loud snapping, Draco Malfoy appeared again, now lying in a heap on the floor with his sleek blonde hair all over his now pink face. He then got to his feet with a wince.

"Moody, we never use Transfiguration as a punishment!" McGonagall said weakly. "Surely Professor Dumbledore told you that?"

"He might've mentioned it, yeah…" Moody said as he scratched his chin without any concern. "...but I thought a good sharp shock -"

"We give detentions, Moody! Or speak to the offender's Head of house!"

"I'll do that, then." Moody said as he stared at Draco with a real dislike.

Draco, whose pale eyes still watered with pain and humiliation, looked malevolently at Moody, muttering something with 'my father'.

"Oh yeah?" Moody said quietly, limping forward a few steps with a metallic clunk of his replacement leg echoing around the hall. "Well, I know your father of old, boy… you tell him Moody's keeping a close eye on his son… you tell him that from me… now, your Head of house'll be Snape, will it?"

"Yes." Draco said resentfully.

"Another old friend." Moody growled. "I've been looking forward to a chat with old Snape… come on, you…." He then seized Draco's upper arm, marching him off towards the dungeons.

McGonagall stared after them anxiously for a few moments before waving her wand at her fallen books, making them soar up into the air and back into her arms.

"That… was… perfect." David said in bliss to Arthur and Chrys as they sat at the Gryffindor table a few minutes later, surrounded by excited chatter on all sides about what had happened.

"That foul git absolutely deserved that." Arthur agreed with him.

"If only McGonagall wasn't there, we could've gotten a Draco who lost all his confidence." Chrys said as she ate.

Shortly, Jack joined them.

"Moody is all kinds of cool if you ask me."

"Very much so." Kevin said as he sat opposite his twin.

"He's just supercool." Lee Jordan, their friend said as he sat next to Kevin. "We had him this afternoon." He told the trio.

"What was the lesson like?" Arthur asked eagerly, resulting in them exchanging looks full of meaning.

"His lesson was so unlike any other." Jack said.

"He knows, man." Lee said.

"Knows what, exactly?" David asked.

"He knows what it's like out there, fighting the Dark Arts." Kevin said.

"He's really seen it all." Jack said.

"'Mazing." Lee said.

This made David look at his timetable.

"We first have him on Thursday." He said with a groan.


Despite knowing who Moody really is, he did give Draco a well deserved punishment if you ask me.