Ugh I am so sorry all this is so short. I went thirty-two hours (a new personal record-my previous record was twenty-eight hours) without sleeping because of work and then my chain of command took pity on me and sent me home after lunch to sleep so I fell asleep around one-thirty this afternoon and woke up around five-thirty and started writing then. I just really wanted to get this up and you get the basic gist of what's happening.

Many thanks to iDreamBig, BlOo KiSsEs, LinkinPark X, crimsonkoteto, Heki564, DarkBlueMahogany, CatastrophicAquarius, Rand0mAn0nym0u2, Wolfen Artist of Hetalia, MissArsenicChaos, walomadolo, PinkPoodle 543, and Haruko-Odagari for your reviews to the last act! And I'm sorry for all of you who suddenly thought Cronus was going to die... Like I said, I am a capricious god. He isn't dead yet, but he might end up that way. Who knows?


INTERMISSION V

Several hours before (nineteen hours and eight minutes, to be precise)

Vriska had crumpled and uncrumpled the scrap of paper with Jade's number on it at least a dozen times. Indecision had paralyzed her, and now she was frozen on the gazebo bench, trying to decide if she should call Jade and go to lunch with her or simply ignore the girl's offer. She'd brushed aside people's proverbial extensions of friendship before, after all.

Her phone buzzed in the pocket of her hoodie, and she fished it out and checked the message. It was from her sister Aranea.

Mom says you gotta come home right after school. Family dinner tonight.

They had family dinners every night—just the three of them. Her, her mother, her sister. She loved her family, of course, but when it came down to it, she hadn't even been allowed to have other friends. She was pretty sure her mother would have been okay with it, but Aranea... No, her sister would have ridiculed her and insisted that whoever it was couldn't be trusted until the one day when they inevitably did something small like not return a text message promptly or cancel plans, and then Aranea would pick at it and pick at it and blow it up into something far bigger than it was and Vriska would just stop hanging out with that friend and that was that. Ever since the Terezi incident of middle school, Aranea had seemed opposed to Vriska having any friends at all.

Vriska ran her fingers through her hair. She'd seen Terezi around at school, too. She still had yet to go up and try to talk to her. Part of her missed her old middle-school friend, but it was probably too late to apologize, and besides, no one would take her seriously. Terezi was seen hanging around Aradia and that Sollux guy, and they hung out with Eridan and Equius and Nepeta, so they no doubt were already prejudiced against her.

Fuck it. She deserved to have someone besides Aranea as a friend, didn't she?

She deigned not to reply to Aranea's text message and instead dialed Jade's number.

"Jade Harley," Jade chirped cheerfully.

"Uh, hey, Jade, it's Vriska."

"Oh, hi, Vriska! How are you?" Jade sounded genuinely happy to hear from her. Vriska didn't know what to make of it.

"Um, I'm okay. So my class is finished..."

"Alright, awesome! Swim practice is just finishing up here—did you want to go to lunch?"

A few pinpricks of guilt stabbed at her. Jade's right—Aranea can't be my only friend, she told herself. "Yeah, actually. That sounds great."

"Cool! Where are you at? I can meet you there."

"I'm in the gazebo by..." Vriska twisted around on the bench until she located the nearest building. "By C building."

"Okay, I'll be there soon! Just give me like ten minutes!"

"Yeah. See you later then." She hung up, stuck her phone back in her pocket, and settled in to wait.

After nearly twenty minutes with no sign of of Jade, Vriska sighed and picked up her backpack. Apparently Aranea was right—even trying to have friends only set you up for a world of disappointment. I can't believe it. I thought she actually wanted to hang out with me. That was what she got for getting her hopes up. Only family could be trusted—everyone else just let you down. She stepped out of the gazebo and onto the grass, trying to remember which way was K building and wondering what she would say to Eridan or Kanaya when she inevitably saw one of them there.

"Hey! Hey, Vriska! Wait up!"

Vriska spun around. There was Jade Harley, her round glasses flashing as she sprinted across the quad. Her skirt billowed out dramatically behind her, but she was waving excitedly. "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Jade gushed, finally drawing level with Vriska and stopping. She barely seemed winded from the dash. "Coach kept us a little later than I expected—I barely had time to shower. But I'm here now—sorry I made you wait! So where did you want to go to lunch?"

"Wherever you want. I'm not too picky," Vriska said, offering a small smile.

"Oooh, I've got a great idea! You like Korean food?"

"Never had it."

"Well, there's a really good Korean place pretty close by—wanna go?"

Jade looked so excited for it that it was next to impossible for Vriska to deny her. "Sure, I'll try it out."

Jade made recommendations and Vriska took them. She had no idea what she was eating half the time, but it was really good. Meanwhile, Jade regaled her with stories of her crazy grandfather and how, when she was a kid, he would refuse to let her leave the house without her air rifle—and she'd been homeschooled until high school, so air rifles at school had never been a problem.

Vriska kept most of her family-related stories to herself because, as she thought back of them, all the really significant ones were depressing. The only ones that came to mind were the ones about her first spider dying the day her dad left or Aranea giving her shitty advice when it came to dealing with friends. She didn't have any good stories from high school, either, except the ones about seeing Spiderman I and Spiderman II. She wished she had Peter Parker's abilities—maybe that was why she kept so many pet spiders.

She did tell Jade about Marquise Spinneret Mindfang III, though, and for the first time, the reaction she got was unadulterated delight.

"You have a pet tarantula? That is so cool! I always wanted one, but Grandpa said it was a bad idea. Becquerel, my dog—well, he's more of a Hell-beast than a dog—would probably try to eat it."

Vriska laughed. "I highly doubt that. Tarantulas have a lot of self-defense mechanisms. They can protect themselves really well."

"Well, Bec is kind of... huge. He's eaten birds before. He's twelve years old but he still has the energy of a puppy and he's huge. Like a hundred and forty pounds. So the itchy hair things might not affect him right away."

"He sounds like a monstrosity."

"He is," Jade replied, sounding for all the world like someone talking about how adorable their new puppy was.

Vriska bit her lip and stared down at her nearly-empty plate. Aranea wouldn't be home for hours... "Wanna see the Marquise?"

"Sure!"

END INTERMISSION V.


ACT 51

Several hours later (seventeen hours and forty-three minutes, to be precise)

Breakfast with Eridan had to be cut short in order for Sollux to make it to his class on time (which he was adamant he do—not that he really needed to, considering all the other classes he'd skipped before, but he didn't want it said that his grades were slipping just because of a guy), so Eridan dropped him off and went to K building to try to find Fef. He remembered as soon as he walked in that her class on Tuesdays and Thursdays started at the same time as Sol's and that he would not be seeing her until after his Calculus class. He was bursting to talk to anyone, really, but everyone he knew was class right now.

He settled for sending her a message on Pesterchum and hoping she would answer.

– –caligulasAquarium began pestering cuttlefishCuller– –

CA: hey fef you there

CA: fef

CA: i knoww your class isnt that interestin

CA: feeeeeeeeeeeeef

CA: pssssst

CA: come on answer i gotta talk to you

CA: its reel important

CA: hahahaha fish puns come on

CC: O)( MY COD -ERIDAN CLAM YOUR TITS

CA: sorry :(

CC: Okay, w)(at is it?

CC: )(ow did your date go?

CA: thats wwhat i wwanted to talk to you about

CC: U)( o)( that doesn't sound good

CA: actually

CA: it wwent pretty wwell to be honest

CA: um

CC: O)( R-E-ELY? W) (appened? 38D

CA: dinner movie just like i said

CA: then he pranked me

CC: W)(AT DID )(-E DO?

CA: put toothpaste in my shampoo

CC: O)( my cod t)(at is too funny

CC: T)(en w) (appened?

CA: idk then wwe wwent to bed an wwoke up idk

CC: You went to bed

CA: yes

CA: wwait

CA: not like that

CC: So no fun times? 38C disappointing

CA: wwell not after i showwered

CA: but there wwas a bit before

CC: Do tell!

CA: um wwell i didnt havve sex wwith him but

CC: BUT

CA: but it came pretty close

CC: W)(ale w)(ale w)(ale

CA: wwhat

CC: Looks like someone isn't as t)(oug)(t as )(e straig)(t )(e was!

CA: no okay i guess im not

CA: haha evveryone wwas right an i wwas wwrong

CA: or maybe its just him an i like him a lot but wwho really knowws at this point right

CC: Sorry 38( I didn't mean to be rude!

CA: its okay

CC: So w) (appens next? Anot)(er date?

CA: that wwould make sense seeing as howw

CA: oh yeah

CA: um so this morning he wwas talkin to cro an you knoww howw cro gets

CC: You mean obnoxious?

CA: yeah

CA: an like hes been doin for the last feww days

CA: he referred to sol as my boyfriend an sol wwas like wwait wwhat

CA: so wwhen i finally got him awway from cro sol wwas kinda freakin out about it a little

CA: that sounds bad

CA: he wwasnt freakin out but he wwas definitely ovverthinkin the significance of evverythin cro said

CA: an hes like am i your boyfriend an

CA: long story short

CA: hes my boyfriend

CA: fef you there

CA: hello

CA: big earth shatterin newws bomb drops on your head an you fuckin disappear wwhat the hell is goin on

CC: SORRY

CC: I )(AD TO RUN TO T)(-E BAT)(ROOM TO )(ID-E MY -EXCIT-ED SQU-EALING

CC: AND INFORM N-EP-ETA SO SH-E CAN UPDAT-E )(-ER S)(IPPING WALL

CC: O)( MY COD BOYFRONDS B-EST

CA: calm dowwn

CA: her wwhat wwall

CC: Dave told me t)(at Jo)(n said t)(at Nepeta )(as a s)(ipping wall w)(ere she keeps track of w)(o's dating w)(o

CC: And apparently even s)(e saw t)(e sexual tension between you and Sollux because s)(e's been anticipating somet)(ing like t)(is for aw)(ile

CA: okay no

CA: there hasnt been any sexual tension between me an sol at all

CA: thats just bullshit an

CA: evven as im typin it i knoww its a lie wwhat the hell

CA: wwait

CA: you said davve told you

CC: Yes

CA: since wwhen do you talk to davve

CC: Since

CC: Idk, t)(e trip up to your )(ouse? We talked in t)(e car a lot. )(e's really cool and really funny

CA: oh okay

CA: so that wwas my big newws i guess

CA: also sols wwalkin around in my clothes today

CC: W)(y?

CA: wwe wwere both too distracted to do laundry

CA: so yeah

CC: So w)(at you're saying is

CC: )(e's in your pants

CA: yeah hes in my pants

CA: an also my shirt

CA: but nothin else since he opted to go commando today

CC: Okay I be-reef t)(at was a bit more info than I needed...

CA: sorry

CA: wwhen does your class end again

CA: im wwaist deep in calculus an fuck this shit

CC: It ends at ten. Almost done. Lunc)( after, right?

CA: yeah thats wwhat i wwas thinkin

CA: wwhere do you wwanna go

CC: T)(at depends. Is your boyfrond coming along?

CA: i dont havve a

CA: wwait

CA: i forgot i actually do O.o

CA: this is trippy

CA: an no his next class starts at ten thirty so i probably wwont be able to see him til after school

CA: holy carp

CC: W)(at

CA: i havve a boyfriend :D

CC: Quit bragging 38D (pretend t)(at's a winking face)

CA: so seriously noww wwhere are wwe goin for lunch

CC: Seriously

CA: seriously

CC: Seriously

CA: siriusly

CC: 38D )(ow about Subway? I'm down for a sandwitch

CA: boooooooo

CC: Are you booing my suggestion or my lame pun?

CA: take a wwild guess

CC: I'm supportive of )(ow you c)(oose to live your life. T)(-E L-EAST YOU COULD DO IS -EXT-END M-E T)(-E SAM-E COURT-ESY!

CA: fef there is a big difference between horrible fish puns an two guys mackin on each other

CA: the eighth commandment is thou shalt not use really bad puns in evveryday convversations or somethin

CC: 38P no but seriously let's go to Subway, okay?

CA: siriusly

CC: Sirius Lee

– –caligulasAquarium ceased pestering cuttlefishCuller– –

END ACT 51.


No but seriously.

If you haven't read Chapter 3 of "When Blood Sings," I recommend you go do that. I'm actually quite proud of that chapter.