I apologize for the long hiatus, my life has been hectic with the holiday season and work. As a reward, I will be uploading chapters 3-6 over the course of the next couple of days, as I finishing proofing them. Thank you so much to all of you who read, followed, and even favorited this story. As always, constructive criticism is encouraged and greatly appreciated. I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday season. Here's to a New Year hopefully filled with any/some Brittana on Glee. At least if we don't get it there, we always have fanfiction, right? Suggested listening: From her debut album, Thankful, Kelly Clarkson's The Trouble With Love Is

Chapter Three

"Didn't San say she was going to call me?" Brittany says as she turns down the comforter and slips in between the flannel sheets.

Rachel responds, "Yea, babe, but she must have gotten busy with the twins. You'll see her tomorrow, anyway, after your morning ballet class."

They were also turning in for bed. Rachel and Brittany had developed a comfortable routine in their lives. Barby was a senior at New York Academy for Performing Arts (NYAPA) and Noah, as Eddy now preferred to be called, was in his last year of middle school at Lycee Francais. Tristan was a little over a year old and had such an independent streak, like his mother. They were discussing Barby's college plans and her new boyfriend, the son of Jake and Kitty, JJ. He was a junior at NYAPA and they had grown up as best friends. We all started to see them acting a little more than friends over the summer. Barby finally told us about him over dinner. The third generation of New Directions were now dating. Brittany, always the big spoon, cuddles up to the side of her wife and nuzzles her neck, before falling fast asleep.

Rachel places her arm around her wife's arm, to hold her closer to her heart. She feels the baby kick again and smiles to herself. She couldn't wait to meet their son or daughter. Come spring, there would be another permanent reminder of their love. Rach couldn't believe the life she had. Professionally, she was a bonafide Broadway star, complete with a Tony award for her role as Maureen in the revival of Rent. It was a role that was originated by her mother, Shelby Cocoran, so it held even more significance. Personally, her and Brittany had just celebrated their 12 year wedding anniversary. They had made a home and a life for their three children. They were more in love today than the day they got married.

However, Rachel couldn't deny that, in the far recesses of her mind, it was there on the fringes, tugging at her. It always came to her in the stillness of night. Across town, Quinn was with her wife, Santana, snuggling and spooning her, just like she was doing with her wife. She always imagined that she would be doing this with Quinn. Just as she was sure that Brittany had imagined doing this with Santana. Maybe in some alternate universe, that it exactly how it was: Brittana & Faberry, not Quinntana & Pierceberry. There were flashes that Rachel had when she and Quinn were alone, playing with Tristan, Holden, and Harper. If she blinked, she would look around and see a home they had together. She would see the ring upon her finger and recognize it as Judy Fabray's engagement ring. She would look at Quinn's ring finger as see the ring she gave to Brittany. She could look up at the mantle as see their life in pictures, starting with their wedding photo. Santana and Brittany would be there too, but as their Maids of Honor, as the godmothers to their children. Rachel had to pinch herself back to reality, to bring her back to present day. She often wondered if Britt ever had those moments or if Quinn did, as well. Sometimes, she suspected that Santana did have them, when she would wistfully look at Brittany holding Harper, the daughter that San gave birth to. Rachel thought she recognized that look upon her face, Santana seeing a glimpse of the life that could have been.

It is kind of funny, considering out of all the people in New York City, how they all ended up with someone from Glee club. Maybe it was because being with them made us feel closer to home and grounded. Rach never really knew the answer to this one. What she did know was that Quinn was her first, true love. She thought it was Finn and she almost married him. With Lucy Quinn Fabray, it took her by complete surprise. She never imagined that someone like Q would ever or could ever be in love with someone like her. She didn't know just how long Quinn had loved her and it made her finally understand why she tortured her for so long.

After they had all left Lima for New York City and New Haven, she and Quinn had forged a new friendship. Rachel took advantage of the Metro North pass she had gotten from Quinn as a graduation present. They spent almost every weekend together. She witnessed Q blossom at Yale, just as Q saw Rachel become the star she knew she always would be. She was fearless when it came to singing; her voice was her gift that she unleashed upon the world. The thing that caught Rach off guard was Quinn. She never expected to develop feelings for her, especially after all the bullying. However, she couldn't deny that there was something that always drew her to Quinn. Maybe that was why she was so jealous of her when she was dating Finn. Maybe it wasn't that she wanted to be like Quinn; it was that, deep down, she wanted her. Things never really worked between her and Finn, no matter how many times they tried. After Rachel broke up with him her Freshman year, she swore off any relationships and focused on her education.

Quinn became her one exception. Rachel rationalized that they were just friends; there was nothing romantic between them. Most certainly, there was no way that she could possibly feel the same way. Rachel firmly held this belief, until one starry night, their junior year, Quinn stopped staring at the stars. Instead, she turned and stared at Rachel, at her lips, and kissed her. The world fell away and time stopped. They were together for the rest of their college years. Their love just blossomed into the most beautiful rose, each petal grown out of each and every moment they spent together. With Quinn, she could see their future stretched out before them. She never imagined that it would not come to fruition. She never thought that her future was with Brittany or that Quinn's future was with Santana. Rach always assumed that Britt and San would be together, too. Funny how things turned out, she thought, as she felt her wife stir in her arms, shaking her out of her musings.

Rachel turned to Brittany and kissed her with so much love, as if to prove to herself that this was where she belonged. She knew, in her heart of hearts that this was were she belonged. Quinn might have been her first love, but Brittany was her forever love. When she was heartbroken over Quinn, it was Brittany who helped piece her world back together. After all, she knew what it was like to have a broken heart. Santana broke hers all those years ago and she was able to survive without her. Slowly and surely, Rach was able to make it out of bed. She was able to shower and eat and do the things that were necessary to live. Brittany was there for her whenever she fell backward: seeing something that reminded her of Quinn would send her in a tailspin. Brittany moved in, initially, to help Rachel get through the turmoil; to take care of her. As the months went by, it didn't hurt so much. Rachel was able to begin going on auditions again. Brittany was getting ready to go on a world tour with Lady Gaga. They were still just friends, albeit much closer friends. They weren't that close at McKinley. Rachel never quite got the things that Brittany said while Britt was just barely tolerant of Rachel and her ego. It wasn't until Britt got a role as a featured dancer at one of NYADA's Spring Showcases during Rachel's sophomore year that got them reacquainted. With Rachel and Quinn hanging out and forging a new friendship, Rachel and Brittany forged one as well. Rachel's ego had subsided, once she was at NYADA and realized that she was at a school full of people just like her: they had immense talent and she was among a plethora of stars. The year that Brittany spent left behind made her more attuned to how people perceived her and she learned how to communicate in ways that didn't make people cock their heads and stare at her in amazement and confusion. Plus, she was already friends with Q and knew how she felt about Rach. She made it her mission to play matchmaker. I guess that was the ironic part of this whole thing. Britts was rooting for their relationship and she was also the one to comfort her when it all went awry. Rachel helped Brittany to finally let go of Santana. Sure, she was over her, even moved on to other boyfriends and girlfriends since that day in the choir room. Yet, there was always a part of her that still clung to Santana and what they had. In helping Rachel move forward from Quinn, it helped her to completely let go of Santana. It was in helping each other get over their first loves that opened up their hearts to each other. Neither of them planned it or expected it, but while Brittany was away and Rachel was alone in the apartment, she felt it.

Rachel didn't quite know what she was feeling. It always took her longer to figure out matters of the heart. All she knew was that home didn't feel like home with Britts gone. She began to count down the days until Britt would be home. They would video chat and e-mail, but Rachel never mentioned the burgeoning love she had for the dancer.

Brittany could feel that familiar pull growing in the pit of her stomach. It caught her off guard because the last person she felt this way about was San. It didn't scare her; she just never thought she would feel this way about Rachel. She didn't want to frighten her or push her, so she just waited. Brittany was never afraid of love; of giving it to another person. It was one of the best parts of her personality. She never understood why people were so afraid of showing how they felt or said how they feel. Britt always thought that feelings were just feelings; they held no judgements or constraints- they just were. How you perceived them or reacted to them was the scary part. "I love you" and "I hate you" came from the same place within a person. It was the words that had the power and the feelings that were the gift.

Rach smiled to herself as she remembered the night that changed their lives forever. She had gotten home early, knowing that Brit would be home, finally after 6 months away. Rachel filled the apartment with candles and daisies, which were Brittany's favorite flower. She had discovered that daisies symbolized gentleness, innocence, simplicity, loyal love, beauty, and patience, which were all attributes that Brittany possessed. She was always a hopeless romantic.

She needed to feel her wife come alive with her kiss, to feel her body next to hers, to feel her breasts touching hers. Rachel knew that she loved Brittany so much and she had to show her just how much. She had felt guilty for thinking about Quinn in their bed; for remembering a time so long ago that was in both of their pasts. She had to quell those thoughts so she just reacted to Brittany's body. She showered her with kisses until Brittany started to react to her lips. Britt was a masterful kisser, the things she could do with her lips set Rachel on fire.

Britt broke the kiss, cupping her wife's face, looking into her brown eyes, asking, "What was that for?"

Rachel thought for a moment before she answered, ""Britts, I love you so much. You know that right?"

"I love you, too Rach" she replied, a bit puzzled as to why her wife would ask her that. She continued, "But, I know you. There is something else on your mind."

Rachel just laughed, knowing that Brittany knew her too well, even surrounded by the cloak of darkness and the stillness of the night. Britt waited patiently for her wife to tell her the real reason behind the kiss. Just as she was about to speak, Tristan starting wailing from the baby monitor. Inwardly, Rachel was relieved because she was still trying to figure out what to tell her wife. Could she really tell her that she was just thinking of Quinn, after of these years? Could she ask her if she ever thought of Santana? And how could she explain that thinking of Quinn didn't mean that she was in love with her? She was saved by her crying son. She made a move to get out of bed when Britt put a hand on her arm.

"I'll go babe. You need to get some rest."

"Thanks, Britts. I love you so, so much."

Brittany just responded by kissing her again and wondered where all of this was coming from. Before she could process anything, Tristan cried out again. She broke off the kiss and got out of bed, tucking Rach in the process.

"Sweet dreams, wifey," she said as she left their bedroom.