I promised porn but it turned out a lot less porny than I thought. Sorry about that, I've been really exhausted this past week (which is why I didn't update two days in a row, although last night was also because I was on duty).

Many thanks to crimsonkoteto, Bitblondetoday, Rand0mAn0nym0u2, Random person (I promise your suggestion will happen, which is why this fic seems to be drawing to a close but actually isn't!), CatastrophicAquarius, LinkinPark X, FanficFinatic2, Heki564, SlytherinUnicorns, and DJMeow for your reviews to the last act! Also, I didn't even HINT in the last chapter that Cronus was going to die, so why are you all freaking out? (P.S.: I decided what is going to happen to Cronus.)


Cronus had mysteriously vanished by the time the two of them returned to the apartment, leaving Eridan standing in the living room and looking very confused. "Uh, Cro?" he called, heading down the hallway to Cronus's bedroom. He waited for a response, received none, and then knocked on the door. "Hey, Cro? You still here?"

Still nothing. He turned to exchange a puzzled glance with Sol before checking the bathroom and the kitchen to verify that they, too, were empty. "Huh. Where would he a' gone?"

"Meenah's?" Sol suggested.

Eridan shook his head. "She lives up in Los Angeles. He wouldn't just leave to go up there."

"Where does FF live?"

"Couple a' blocks away, why?"

Sol shrugged. "Maybe Meenah's staying with her."

"Maybe, but I doubt it. Fef's got the same relationship with Meenah as I got with Cro—mutual tolerance with apparent one-sided disdain."

"You live with Cronus," Sol said with a small grin.

"Not the point," Eridan protested, waving his arms.

Sol just shook his head and looked around the living room for any clue as to where Cronus might have gone, but there was none. "Maybe he just went into his room and won't answer you."

Eridan eyeballed the door. He was half-tempted to sneak a peak—he'd never even glanced into Cronus's room. He didn't want to know what was in there. But now that Sol had mentioned it, he couldn't help his curiosity. "I don't think so. He's usually pretty good about answerin' me."

"Okay, so he's gone. So what?"

"I don't know. I just... wish he woulda told me he was leavin'. It woulda been nice to have a little warnin' or somethin'."

Sol rubbed the bridge of his nose, as if trying to comprehend it. "Oh, well, looks like he's gone."

All at once, that information finally sank in. "Dude. He's gone." Eridan's face split into a wide grin.

The taller boy smacked his forehead. "Wow, it's not like I just said that or anything," he said sarcastically, but Eridan completely ignored the tone, grabbed him by the collar, backed him up to the wall, and kissed him hard.

"Mmm. Going along with that," Sol murmured between kisses, "we don't know when he's coming back. He might have just—mmm—gone out to get smokes."

"Good point. Looks like we'll have to be quick then." Eridan began fumbling with the zipper on Sol's jeans, but Sol caught his hands.

"Not out here."

Eridan groaned. "Fine. Fine." He pushed open his bedroom door and slammed it behind him.


Cronus had noticed about thirty seconds after Eridan and Sollux left that he was out of Coke and there was no way he was about to tolerate that, so he left and caught the next elevator down. As he left the building, he glanced to his right and saw the two of them loading two separate loads of laundry into the dryer before the door closed behind him and he turned left. He headed down the street to the closest convenience store.

After picking up a twenty-ounce bottle of Coke and a twelve-pack of cans (and eyeing the packs of Newports with a sigh but pretending in the end that he didn't see them), he went back down the street. It was getting cooler out again, and he wished he'd grabbed his leather jacket before leaving, but he couldn't do anything about it now. After all, he was on his way back anyway.

He nudged open the main door of the apartment building, glanced into the laundry room again—Eridan and Sollux weren't in there, so he could only presume they had gone back upstairs. He hit the button for the elevators with his elbow and waited, rocking back and forth on his heels, until the elevator on the right opened up.

As soon as it dropped him off on his floor, he hurried down the hallway. He regarded the door of a minute before setting down the twelve-pack and unlocking the door. He'd just pushed it open and lightly kicked the pack of Coke through the doorway when he heard the faint but unmistakeable sound of Eridan moaning (and God, he wished he didn't know what that sounded like).

"Well, then," he muttered. He was happy for Eridan, he really was—it had been a long time since he'd dated anyone and Cronus did want Eridan to be happy, and besides, Sollux seemed like a great guy—but the whole fucking like rabbits thing was getting old on the second day. Not that Cronus was actually sure it had progressed to actual sex yet. Eridan had, just weeks before, insisted he was straight, so he was probably still coming to terms with his sexuality. But Eridan seemed pretty into Sollux (even Cronus could admit that he was pretty adorable, in a nerdy, gangly sort of way), and judging by the sounds that came from Eridan's room both last night and tonight (which Cronus pointedly pretended he couldn't hear while wishing he had brain bleach), the feeling was mutual. Yesterday, it had been cute, especially the flushed look on Sollux's face when he went to take a shower.

But yeah, he couldn't take another night of this. He was either going to need to find another place to crash when Sollux came over or convince Eridan to soundproof his room (or ask them to keep it down, although he didn't think there was much chance of that).

He kicked the door closed behind him, and the moaning behind Eridan's door stopped immediately. Cronus couldn't help but grin as he picked up the cans and went to the kitchen to put them in the fridge. Then he made a big production out of jingling his keys as he passed Eridan's room and went to his own, closing his door with an exaggerated bang. At least with two sets of walls between them (and his music going, which he turned on the second he walked in), he could pretend nothing was happening.


"Well, I guess Cro's home," Eridan breathed, glancing to the wall as though he could somehow see his brother through it.

"Told you we didn't know when he was coming back," Sol pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah," Eridan muttered. He strained his ears to listen for the sounds his brother made as he moved around the apartment, and a few moments later, he could hear the jangling of keys passing by his room and heading down the hall to Cronus's room. The door closed, music started playing, and Eridan sighed with relief.

"I think he heard you," Sol said unnecessarily.

"No shit, he heard me." Eridan closed his eyes tightly and smacked his forehead. "Fuck."

"It's not like we were exactly keeping it down before."

"Yeah, but—" He cut himself off a second later, his head falling back to the bare pillow and his words melting into a moan. "Jesus, you're makin' it really hard to think right now," he panted.

Sol paused from licking a path all the way up Eridan's dick. "You ever think that maybe that's the point?"

"Maybe." Eridan's hand found its way into Sollux's hair. "But I can't think right now, so you tell me."

"Definitely the point," Sol murmured before picking up right where he left off.


Eridan really didn't want to drag himself off the mattress, but it was getting late—it was nearly ten—and they needed to get their laundry from the laundry room. He sighed and rolled off the bed, nearly on top of Sol, who'd sat on the floor with his back against the bed, his laptop open so he could play some first-person-shooter game (although there didn't look to be anyone shooting back or anyone else on the screen at all). "Come on. Let's get the sheets."

Sol paused his game, set his laptop aside, and stood up. "Ready when you are."

Eridan shot a petulant glare at him from the floor. He really didn't feel like moving.

Sol managed to poke him to his feet and they finally headed down to the laundry room for the third and final time, Sol carrying the laundry basket under one arm. Eridan slumped against the walls of the hallway and the elevator as they made their way down, forcing Sol to drag him by the arm. "You getting tired?"

Eridan gave him a condescending look. "I had a' exhaustin' day. Do you blame me?"

"I've been doing the exact same things as you. Besides, you can't sleep until you've taken your eighteenth shower of the day," Sol joked.

"You think you're so fuckin' witty," Eridan grumbled.

They gathered up the laundry and tossed it in the basket without (much) further complaining. Eridan was still struggling to keep his eyes open, even though he knew Sol was right—there was no way he was going to bed with gel in his hair. He'd woken up once or twice last night to discover that Sol had a thing for petting his hair in his sleep, and Eridan had a feeling that wouldn't be as pleasant if it was still stiff with product. Besides, it would be that much more difficult to scrub out in the morning if he let it sit overnight.

Fortunately, Sol seemed much more alert, so he led the re-making of Eridan's bed once they got back to the apartment. Once they'd tucked in the last sheet, Eridan set to work folding the small load of laundry they had left. "You can go shower if you want," he said. "I'm gonna be awhile."

Sollux nodded and grabbed the pair of sweatpants and the shirt he'd worn the night before from out of the laundry basket. He'd have to dig out his underwear later—with his luck, it was buried at the bottom of the basket.

He took a ten-minute shower, not exactly trusting that Eridan wouldn't find some way to prank him while he was distracted. He actually was pretty intrigued to see what Eridan would come up with, but unless his apparent exhaustion was just a ruse, he wasn't sure that the prank was going to be any good—and if the douche was going to prank him, Sollux wanted it to be a good one. They both had reputations to uphold.

Nothing appeared to be out of order when Sollux returned from the bathroom, but that didn't mean anything. Eridan was sprawled out on the sheets, his eyes opened but unfocused (he almost looked stoned, but it might have just been a testament to his exhaustion), and he had his towel wrapped around his arm. "You finished?" Eridan asked, his eyes focusing on Sollux.

"No, I just took an intermission during my shower," he deadpanned. He dropped the towel he'd been using into the now-empty laundry basket.

Eridan blinked and slowly realized that Sollux was joking. "Okay. I'm gonna go shower. If I don't come out in twenty minutes, assume I drowned."

"I really hope that doesn't happen."

"Yeah, me, too." Eridan rolled limply off the bed, gathered up his pajamas, and wandered off to the bathroom. He bumped into the door frame, and Sollux wondered if maybe they should put padding on all the corners and sharp edges of the apartment.

Deciding this would be an overreaction, he sat back down on his floor, picked up his computer, and resumed playing Portal. The idea that Eridan would take a shorter shower was laughable based on what he knew of him so far.

He glanced up at the fish tank, still bubbling merrily on Eridan's desk. Sollux wondered what the new fish were going to look like. He could kind of see what Eridan meant when he said the fish tank by itself was soothing, though—it seemed to have a calming effect on him, not that he wasn't already calm in the first place. But it wasn't just a surface calm. He could feel it sinking into his pores, permeating every fiber, settling into his bones the longer he looked. Whether it was just being in Eridan's room or actually the fish tank affecting him, he couldn't tell, but whatever it was, he liked it.

He fell asleep with his arms wrapped around Eridan and the refractions from the light in the fish tank washing over them both, and for the second night in a row, he slept more soundly than he had in ages.


I DID THE THING. I DID THE THING WHERE I USED THE TITLE OF THE FIC OMG. (NGL, this is about the only fic where I'm actually satisfied with the name.)

Ehehehe did you think Cronus was dead?