Sorry about the delay! I don't actually have internet at home so I have to wait until I can get into uni. I hope you like this one! Please let me know what you think.
LLLLL
It was odd, Sirius and my relationship. We'd never speak outside of those two-hour Friday gaps. It was like we entered a different world on those days. Sometimes we'd study. Never in the library. We'd always go to the astronomy tower. Sometimes we didn't study. Those times were the best. We'd walk through the forest, trying to catch a glimpse of the unicorn calf. Or explore the castle, looking for other secret passageways. Sometimes James would bunk off and join us. He and Sirius had this weird two-way mirror that they'd communicate with. Sirius would let James know if we were doing something cool and he'd come join us. But then, at lunch, we'd go our separate ways: them to Pettigrew and Lupin, and myself to my books.
Until the day we didn't.
"I'm bored." James complained, flicking his wand to make my parchment stand up to walk around the stone floor of the Astronomy tower.
"Uh-oh" I mumbled to Sirius who rolled his eyes. We both knew all too well that nothing good ever came from James uttering those words. I summoned my parchment back and threw James a pitiful look.
"I thought we were going to do something cool. Not study." He moaned and flopped back on the floor.
"I said we were going to the Astronomy tower." Sirius said and flipped a page in his novel nonchalantly. He was reading 1984 on my recommendation and was both loving and hating it as I'd anticipated.
"Plus, we're not even studying." I groaned and stretched, having been hunched over my sketch of the Forbidden Forest for at least an hour.
"You haven't said anything for an HOUR. A. WHOLE. HOUR. I didn't even know it was possible not to talk for a WHOLE HOUR" James whined.
Sirius shrugged and looked back at his book. He was nearly finished. I was dying to talk about it with him. He was so good to talk about books with because he rarely agreed with my thoughts. I nearly ended up yelling at him in the common room the other week over Lord of the Flies and his lack of disgust for the boys' behaviour. He insisted that it made complete sense and that savage behaviour is an innate part of human nature. That Jack was the most realistic character of the lot with his bloodlust and desire for power.
I pulled my dark hair back into a sloppy bun and stood up. "Alright, alright. I think it's time for lunch anyway."
"YES. Food!" James shot up and swung his bag over his shoulder.
"You know, no one made you come with us. Loren and I were perfectly content to be quiet by ourselves." Sirius dog-eared the page in the book and put it in his satchel.
"I bet you were." James muttered slyly.
Sirius rolled his eyes again and led us down the spiralling stairway. I chose to ignore James. He often said strange things that didn't make sense. I was sort of getting used to it.
I was getting quieter and quieter the closer we got to the great hall. I knew that now we'd part ways and not see each other or talk to each other for a whole week. At first, escaping these encounters made me relieved. It had been a while since I'd been so sociable and never on a deep level like this. It was exhausting. But then I started to look forward to our secluded hours. Where I could relax and just be myself without always having to be so defensive all the time. And now… well… I didn't really want those hours to end.
I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and, lost in thought, ran straight into another student. I glanced up, embarrassed. When I noticed who it was though, my blood ran cold. Sirius and James hadn't noticed and kept walking.
"Loz." Jacob looked like a dear caught in the headlights.
I opened my mouth to say… what? To apologize for bumping into him? To yell at him? To kiss him? To hit him? I had no idea. And all I could get out was a strangled mumble.
He still looked as gorgeous as I'd thought when I first met him. His blonde hair, flipped across his gray eyes. Strong jawline, wicked smile. Your stereotypical hot guy. And he was taller than me. He ticked all the boxes. Until it came to loyalty and faithfulness.
"Um… how have you been?" He asked, looking anywhere but me.
I wiped my sweaty palms on my skirt and swallowed. I wasn't equipped to deal with this yet. But I knew the only way to get through this awkward encounter was to act like absolutely nothing was wrong.
"I'm super." I managed eventually, even giving him what I hoped resembled a smile.
"Oh. That's… um good." He blinked, looking surprised. "You know… you look really good."
I was about to reply with a cutting, snarky remark when James and Sirius cut me off.
"Loren! We wondered where you'd gone! And we couldn't see you sitting at the table." James called.
"I didn't realize you guys were friends." Jacob glanced between James and Sirius, looking a bit nervous.
I realized why when I saw the stormy glare Sirius was giving him.
"Yeah. We're friends." He said emotionlessly, still glaring at Jacob. This surprised me. I mean, we hung out for two hours a week. We used each other's first names. But I certainly wouldn't have called us friends. It was strange to hear Sirius refer to me as his friend.
"JAKE!" I heard a girl coo. I couldn't help from rolling my eyes. Quinn. This was about to get a whole lot more awkward.
"I couldn't see you at the table so I thought maybe you were still sick!" She crooned, coming over to join our little mismatched group.
"Nah, I'm good, babe." He weakly smiled.
Quinn, placed her arm around Jacob's waist and kissed him on the cheek. She then looked at me, as if just noticing I was there and feigned surprise.
"Loren! How nice to see you. What on earth are you doing here?" She ran her other hand through Jacob's hair obnoxiously.
"Performing open heart surgery, obviously." I said sarcastically. I heard Sirius chuckle next to me.
"Oh, Siri! You're here too. How lovely." She grinned sweetly, displaying all of her perfect, shiny, white teeth and batted her long lashes.
I wanted to throw up. The disgusted look on James' face suggested he was feeling the same way.
"I didn't realize you were all friends. I thought you were more of a loner these days Loren. I mean you did such a good job pushing away everyone last year. I figured you liked it better that way." She smiled fakely again.
Her words felt like a punch in the stomach. Sirius slipped his hand into mine. I wanted to rip my arm away as if I'd touched fire, but manage to refrain. It was the first time he'd ever shown any type of physical affection towards me. To be honest, I hadn't thought our relationship extended to any type of affection, physical or otherwise. After I got over the initial shock, I realized how nice it felt, how comforting. I sort of liked it.
"Well, James and Sirius seemed better choices for… friends… than shallow bitches so maybe they'll last a bit longer than you did." I spat, trying to cover up how much she'd hurt me.
Sirius squeezed my hand in support. Quinn nor Jacob had a response. And for the first time since I'd known him, not even James had anything to add.
The din of students pushing past us to get to lunch seemed so much louder than it had a few moments ago.
After a moment of awkward silence James finally piped up.
"Well, this has been sufficiently awkward, but I've been waiting to eat for two hours and I'm not about to waste another second of it talking to a bunch of stuck up Claws so see you 'round." He saluted, swung his arm around me and sauntered off, all but dragging Sirius and myself with him.
When we got to the Gryffindor table, before I could even extricate myself from the guys, Sirius pulled me towards their end of the table.
"Sit with us." He said quietly.
"We're actually heaps of fun at mealtimes." James grinned and slid into the benches where Pettigrew and Lupin were already sitting.
"Don't let him fool you, he eats like a Kneazel that's just discovered a gold mine." Lupin laughed, smiling at me.
James pulled a tongue and piled his plate high with meat. The boys got stuck into some conversation about a prank they were going to pull, James and Sirius doing most of the talking.
I looked more closely at Lupin.
His eyes were kind. I'd never noticed that before. I'd always found him a bit intimidating because of how smart he was and the scars on his arms and face. But, looking closer, I realized that his silence had probably just been shyness. And his booksmarts didn't necessarily imply arrogance.
Pettigrew had always seemed odd to me. And that didn't really change seeing him up close. He seemed nervous and anxious constantly. Like he thought the others were going to get sick of him and tell him to go away at any second.
"What do you think, Loz?" James asked nudging me with his elbow, bringing me out of my reverie.
I smiled and joined in with their easy banter, feeling warmer than I had in a long time. It was nice having people to laugh with again, even about something as stupid as which spell would be best to turn the Slytherins' hair pink. That and Sirius was still holding my hand.
LLLLLLLL
Please leave a review and let me know what you think! I would really love to hear from you. I know people are reading, and it's a little discouraging when no one says anything at all. So please drop me even one line. It'll make me want to keep writing.
