I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT!
CHAPTER 12
The first day of school was always my least favorite, the parents didn't want to leave and the kids were very clingy. I had a small class this year of about 15 kids and most of them had already arrived and the parents had left.
"Come on Matt, it's going to be okay, we've talked about this remember?" Edward said practically dragging Matt into the room.
I walked over to them. "Good morning you two," I said smiling at Edward.
He smiled then helplessly looked down at Matt. "Come on buddy, I really have to get to work, grandma will pick you up after school."
"Don't go daddy please," He cried grabbing his leg.
"Help," Edward mouthed to me.
"Hey Matt, we're going to have so much fun today, we're going to read and color and get to know each other."
"Daddy," He whimpered.
"Buddy, I promise, I will be home at 4 this afternoon and we will do something fun."
"Promise?" He asked.
"I promise buddy."
I wrapped my arms around Matt's shoulders. "Come on Matt, lets go look at books."
"Here Bella," Edward said handing me a folded piece of paper. "If you need it use it."
I glanced down at it, realizing it was his cell phone number. "Thanks," I said. "He's going to be fine."
Matt stood by his cubby for a good ten minutes, he wasn't crying, but he looked very unsure of everything. Some of the kids tried to talk to him, but most just stared at him.
"Hey Matt, you doing okay?" I asked.
"I want my daddy."
I pulled a chair next to him and sat down. "You'll see him tonight."
"What if he doesn't come back?" He asked.
"Why do you think he wouldn't come back?"
"My mommy didn't." He whispered.
Suddenly I remembered what Alice had told me. "Matt, everything will be okay. What do you like to do with your dad?" I asked.
"We play basketball, run around the yard, or go for walks."
"That sounds like fun." I said.
Throughout the morning Matt hung back, it was going to be hard to get him comfortable, but I was determined to help him. At recess he ran around and played, but once we came back inside he held back again.
By rest time, I sat down at my desk, pulled out the piece of paper and my phone. Edward- Matt is doing just fine. He played at recess, he's still hanging back inside, but he's not crying.-Bella.
My phone buzzed seconds later. Bella- Thanks for letting me know, I appreciate it. -Edward.
My stomach was full of butterflies by the response of his text and I wasn't sure why.
The kids and I all sat down on the carpet for circle time. "Today we are talking about families. I want everyone to go around the room and tell me about your families." All the kids were very excited to talk, but then it came to Matt. "Tell me about your family." He started to move away. "Matt, it's okay."
"My grandpa taked me fishing and I like playing basketball with my daddy."
"Where is your mommy?" Lucy asked.
"I don't have one." He said softly.
"Everyone has a mommy," Austin said.
"Mine isn't coming back." Tears streamed down Matt's cheeks.
"That's when it hit me that at some point, I'd be dealing with Jaycie going through the same thing.
The day went on and soon school was over. Matt watched the door intently as all the other kids were picked up. Finally the door opened and a beautiful woman came in.
"Grandma!" He exclaimed running to her.
"Hey buddy, sorry I'm late." She said hugging him. She didn't look old enough to be a grandmother.
"You must be Bella, I'm Esme Cullen. Edward and Matt talk about you all the time."
I bluhed. "Nice to meet you," I said shaking her hand.
Esme sent Matt over to look at books. "How was he today?" She asked.
"He did okay once Edward left, he cried some at group time, but all and all he did okay."
Esme nodded. "I've been so worried about him today. I know Edward has done a great job with him, but there was time he really needed help, but wouldn't except it.
"Matt's very close to his dad isn't he?" I asked.
"Very," Esme replied. "And please don't get me wrong, Edward is a great dad, but he's very overprotective."
"Esme, I can assure you that I will do what I can to help Matt."
That evening I couldn't get them out of my mind. There was something about Edward, he was handsom, but very sad, I really wanted to talk to him and get to know him, but wasn't sure how to go about doing that.
I was just climbing into bed when my phone buzzed. Bella-sorry if this is inappropriate, but thank you for helping Matt today. He thinks the world of you.-Edward.
Tears filled my eyes. He's a great kid Edward. If Matt ever needs anything I'm here for him, don't hesitate to ask. The same goes for you to, I'm here if you need me. -Bella.
Less than a minute later my phone buzzed. I just might take you up on that offer. Good night Bella. I'll see you tomorrow. -Edward.
Over the next couple weeks Matt had started making some progress, he was talking to some of the kids and didn't cry when Edward dropped him off.
However on this particular day, he'd had a very rough day. He seemed very tired and didn't want to have anything to do with the other kids or me for that matter.
By rest time he'd had a horrible melt down followed by an accident. Alice had to come in and console him. I felt horrible for him but wasn't sure what to do. Alice told me to send Edward a text and let him know what happened.
After all of the kids had left and Alice had taken Matt home, I was sitting there waiting for Edward to show up.
Finally around 4pm the door opened and he walked looking exhausted and totally defeated. "Sorry I'm late," He said sinking down in the chair across from me. His hair was a mess and he looked upset.
"I'm really sorry about Matt's accident," he said.
"Edward it happens every year, I deal with it, I was just wanting to talk about what happened leading up to it."
"What happened?" he asked running his fingers throug his hair.
"He's been doing a lot better but today was a bad day for him. By rest time he'd melted down. He didn't want to lie down on his mat, so I offered to let him go to the reading corner to look at books. He burst into tears and cried for you repeatedly, and by the time Alice came into help him he'd had an accident."
Edward looked down shaking his head. "He had a horrible dream last night, woke up screaming and ended up sleeping with me." He looked up at me. "What am I going to do? What am I doing wrong?"
"Edward let's forget about what happened and talk about the positives." I said. "He's smart, eager to learn and beginning to make friends and he's getting more comfortable speaking out in class."
"I'm glad he's coming around," Edward said. "I see changes in him at home to, but he still has his moments."
"Now I don't mean to pry, but what happened to his mom?"
"She um died of cancer a little over a year ago"
"Oh Edward," I gasped.
"She was sick most of his life, but they were very close."
"Which explains his fear of losing you."
Edward nodded. "I never expected to be a single parent." He said sadly.
"Edward, I don't think anyone ever expects for bad things to happen to them or to lose some so tragically."
"Have you ever lost someone?" He asked me.
"Actually I lost my fiancé a few months ago, he was with one of his friends driving around and some how the car flipped over." I took a deep breath. "We'd just announced my pregnancy."
"Fuck," Edward muttered. "That must have been hard."
"I love my daughter, but I really miss Jake."
"We sure have a lot of the wrong things in common don't we?"
"Yah it's the club everyone wants to join," I said sarcastically.
"I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone."
I sat there and stared at him. "You really loved her."
"She was my best friend and such an amazing mom."
We stared at eachother in an awkward silence, not knowing what to say.
"What kind of things do you and Matt like to do?"
"We go to the park and we play basketball together."
Suddenly the thought of him shirtless and dripping sweat came over me and I blushed I hadn't had those feelings in so long.
"You okay?" Edward asked
Shit he'd busted me. I cleared my throat. "Ya um, okay, ya, I'm fine." I stammered.
"what do you and your daughter like to do?"
"Well seeing as how she is only 8weeks old, we go for walks and do a lot of snuggling."
"Wow, it hasn't been very long for you."
"No, it hasn't."
"Were you alone when you gave birth?"
I blushed again as I fought to control my tears. "No my stepmom was there through the whole thing."
My tears began falling, I stood up and walked over to the counter, I didn't want this handsome man to see me cry.
I felt two hands on my shoulders. "Sorry," I whispered. I couldn't look at him.
"Bella," he said softly. "Don't be ashamed to cry." Very gently he wrapped his arms around me.
"I just never seem to be able to stop."
"I know Bella it's been a year for me and most days it still seems like yesterday."
I gripped his shirt allowing my tears to fall, it didn't feel weird to be in his arms at all. It was nice to have someone there who understood me.
After what seemed like an eternity we broke apart. "Thank you it's nice to know I'm not alone."
"No Bella, you're not alone." Edward looked at me."I wish Matt had his mom the way you wish your daughter had her dad."
I nodded sadly. "Yes."
He wiped my tears away with his thumbs. I looked into his eyes. "Does it ever get easier?"
"Yes and no, the days do, you will find it easier to live, but the nights..." He shook his head no.
"I figured," I whispered.
I glanced at the clock. "Oh shit!" I gasped "it's 6pm!"
"Oh God, I bet Matt's having a panic attack."
I grabbed my stuff needing to get to Jaycie.
He walked me to my car. "Bells, I appreciate what you have done for Matt."
"He's a great kid and you are a great dad" I said.
Edward opened my door for me. " Um maybe we could um get some um coffee sometime." He said nervously.
"I'd like that, call me." I said.
(Edward)
Matt was in hysterics when I got there, dad was trying to console him. "Daddy," He cried breaking away from my dad and jumping into my arms. "Where were you?"
"I had a meeting buddy," I said hugging him tightly to me.
Dad stared at me, but shut his mouth. "I should have called and I'm sorry," I said.
"I was scared," He cried clinging to me.
"I know buddy," I said. "Why don't we go play ball and talk, I know you've had a hard day and I'd like for you to tell me about it."
"Okay," He whimpered wiping his eyes.
We chased each other around as he tried to get the ball from me, I accidently let it go and he grabbed it tossing it up, but missing it. "Oh man," He sighed.
"Here catch!" I yelled tossing the ball to him. He caught it and I picked him up holding him high enough to get it into the hoop. "Way to go Matt!" I exclaimed.
"I did it daddy!" He laughed.
I set him down tickling him. "Hey Matt, you had kind of a rough day didn't you?" I asked.
He looked down and nodded. "I cried and had an accident."
"Matt, It's okay it happens to everyone, even Emmett." I said hoping to make him feel better about it.
"Really?" He asked.
"Really, he got scared watching a movie and peed his pants."
"Can I ask him about it sometime?" Matt asked.
"Sure," I said hoping I'd remember to tell Emmett to go with the story.
"Do you want to tell me about your dream you had last night?" I asked him.
"I dreamed mommy came home."
"Oh Matt," I sighed. He hadn't had a dream like that since we'd moved back to Forks. "So you've been thinking about her all day haven't you?"
He nodded. "I miss her, I miss her reading to me and telling me she loves me."
"I miss that to Matt," I said. We all read to him, but I knew it wasn't the same as her reading to him. In the year since her death, I was starting to forget her voice and the sound of her laugh, I knew he was too.
Later that evening I gave him a bath, I sat on the toilet watching him play in the bubbles up to his ears. "Will I ever get a new mommy?"
That question threw me, I never expected for him to ask me that. "Um Matt, I, I don't know."
"Everyone else has a mommy," He said.
"Matt," I sighed. "You have a mommy, she's in your heart."
"But I want a mommy."
I took a deep breath not wanting this conversation to continue, but not knowing how to end it. "Matt, that's not something you need to worry about."
I dried him off and handed him his pajamas. "Get dressed, it's bed time." I went into his room and waited for him.
I walked over to the pictures of Lauren. Would she have liked Bella? Would Bella have liked her? I couldn't stop thinking about Bella and that scared me, she had been through a lot just like I had, more so in some ways as she had to give birth to her daughter without Jake being there. Much like Matt, her daughter would grow up not having her other parent around. It was a lot to take in. But was it too soon to even think about Bella? What would Matt do? Was Bella even interested in me?
"Lauren, why did you make me make that promise?" I asked softly. "Matt's a mess, he really misses you, everything is just so fucked up."
I heard Matt's footsteps and turned around. "You ready for bed?" I asked.
"Yep," He said climbing into his bed and covering up. "Night daddy," He said holding his arms up to me.
"Night Matt, I love you."
"I love you more," I said tucking him in tightly.
"Dad," He said.
"What?" I asked.
"Mommy was sick right?" He asked.
"Yes buddy," I said.
"Will you promise me that you will never get sick like mommy?" He asked.
"Buddy, that is a promise that I can't make, but I can tell you that you are my son and I will be here for you as long as I can."
"Okay," He said yawning.
"Sleep good Matt," I said.
"You to daddy."
My parents were sitting on the couch in the livingroom waiting for me when I came downstairs. "Sit down son and lets talk," Dad said pointing to the chair. I sat down facing them. "How is Matt?"
"He's okay, we've talked several different times. It started last night when he had a dream that Lauren came back, he's really missing her. So at school, he had a melt down, he was just exhausted and had an accident."
"Is he making any friends?" Mom asked.
"According to Bella, he's talking to more kids."
"Good," She said.
"However, tonight he asked me if he would ever have a mom."
"How did you answer that?" Dad asked.
"I told him that Lauren was in his heart, but I didn't know, that wasn't a question I could answer."
"You know, he was really scared tonight when you didn't come home when you usually do," Dad said.
"I know and I'm sorry. Bella and I were talking about Matt and then we just started talking about a lot of other things and lost track of time."
"I see," Dad said.
"She, um, her and her fiance had just anounced she was pregnant and he was in a car accident a few weeks later."
"Oh that poor girl," Mom gasped.
"How long ago was that?" Dad asked.
"Her daughter is 8 weeks old now," I said.
"You two have somethings in common," Dad said.
"We do," I agreed.
"Where do you plan on this going with her?" Dad asked.
"I really like her, she's cute and easy to talk to, but it hasn't been that long for her. We did talk about meeting for coffee sometime."
"Okay son listen to me, you have both been through hell and back and there are two children involved, one of them who is struggling. Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't go out or be friends, but you need to take it slow."
"I know dad," I said.
"This doesn't have anything to do with Matt asking about another mom does it?" Mom asked.
"Not at all, she's just really easy to talk to and so sweet."
"Okay so if you do go out for coffee and this does lead to something, Matt doesn't need to know anything about it until you know for sure where it's going."
"I agree," I said. "I'm not out to hurt him."
"I know that," Dad said.
That night when I went to bed, I noticed that I had a text message. Thank you for talking this afternoon, I really needed that. -Bella
You're welcome Bella, I know how you feel and it's hell. -Edward.
Tomorrow I don't have anything going on, would you like to meet for coffee? -Bella
I'd like that. Goodnight Bella, I'll see you tomorrow- Edward.
AN- I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER. PLEASE DROP ME A LINE AND LET ME KNOW. THANKS GUYS YOU ARE AWESOME!
